The Nick DiPaolo Show - College Campuses the Real Cancer | Nick Di Paolo Show #1560

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Adams assailed, Biden's blunder, Ivy League insanity and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 Hi, folks. Welcome to the show. Thursday, final day of the week. Good to be with you. What's going on not much really gotta make some notes getting ready for Tampa never thought I'd see the place again I love it don't get me wrong you get out there it's fucking New Yorkers and

Bostonians it's great it's like you know that is next Wednesday and Thursday. So looking forward to that. Sure. Just trying to put the set in some semblance.

Because there's been other times when I've taken like three weeks off, and then just gone up and said, fuck it. And it looked it. But it's still funny. If you do it long enough, you know the tricks. But that's, you know, anyways. Red Sox, did they play last night?

Must have got rained out. I couldn't find the score anywhere. It's a fucking Wednesday. Who doesn't play on a Wednesday night? They were in Cleveland. I never found out. My Bruins, Brad Marchand, former punk, now Hall of Famer, no doubt about it,

put the Bruins on their back last night in Toronto, fucking tripped the guy that caused a goal, got away with it somehow, set up another one, then scored one himself with one of the greatest shots I've ever seen in hockey, and then they had an empty netter, all while the Toronto 18,000 strong were

booing him every time he touched the puck. He stuck it so far up their ass. It was hilarious. What a fucking player. What a hockey player. That's it. As soon as I touch sports I like, I'm like, you better move on. Headline.

Boy, the country, huh? Running smooth out of Biden. Is there anything that hasn't turned to shit under this motherfucker? Honestly, where's the apology from you so-called 83 million people? Can you admit it yet that he's retarded and the worst president in history?

He makes fucking Jimmy Carter look like fucking Reagan. I mean, are you shitting me? He's everything they said Trump. Remember they were talking about the 25th Amendment when Trump was in office for about a month saying he's not fit? Do you remember that? I think it's the 25th, one of those.

And do you believe that? They haven't even mentioned it with this fucking guy who can't, we'll show you a clip in a few minutes, who literally is fucking gone. Gone with the wind. Not to mention all this campus shit we're going to show you. And this is part of it.

Mayor Adams was on a flight back from Miami sitting in his front row seat or whatever the fuck. And I love it because look at New York, which tells me he's part of the problem he hasn't done shit but I don't agree with his dumb whore who's yelling at him check this out watch him get assailed Yeah, fuck you!

He supports the death in Palestine. They're homeless people all over New York. You're always partying. You don't actually care about the citizens of New York. Why are you even in Miami? You know there are people being arrested there. People are homeless in New York. People cannot afford food. You keep cutting the education budget so you can fund the police. That's all you care about, funding the police.

Everything is underfunded because of you. Arrested the plane goes, shut up. You see how long the rest of the plane waits to say shut up? I would stand right up and go, hey, asshole, I'm trying to get by. Seriously. Everybody's afraid. It's fucking unbelievable

that he's just sitting there. Oh, fucking idiot. Which he is, but do you hear the shit she's bringing up? It's dancing around the issue. People are starving. There's homeless people. She's not mentioning,

you know, black thug sucker punching women in the face and illegal immigrants fucking, you know, beating up cops and what's going on in the college camp.

She mentions none of that. It's the homeless and they are fucking mentally ill. And I'm glad he got it, because he's been the fucking disappointment. Anyways, next time he buys a ticket, he'll be like, can I get 33C next to the men's room in the back? Fucking, I'm no Rosa Parks. I'll sit back.

I don't need this type of shit. Yeah, just look what it's done to these young people. It's just, they're in a different world. It is, they got mind fucked for the last 30 years. It's beautiful. Not her. She wasn't around when it began. But I'm just saying, you're seeing the for the last 30 years. It's beautiful. Not her. She wasn't around when it began, but I'm just saying, you're seeing the culmination of it all. We get a few good clips

showing the country under Jerkoff Joe. Oh, speaking of Jerkoff Joe, he pulled another one yesterday, another Biden blunder, which is just, this isn't the first time he's read the directions on the teleprompter. Everybody's acting like it's the first time. But this was beautiful. He pulled a real Ron Burgundy. Check out Joe giving a speech. What can we do next? Four more years.

Four more years. Four more years. Four more years. All right. Uh-oh. Retard oh! Retard alert! Retard alert! Do it again, please. Imagine what we can do next.

Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Alright. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. So fucking stupid. Oh my God. Even this girl, Lori Kilmartin, a comedian, very funny woman,

originally from San Francisco area, big lib, but she's written for Conan and shit. She's great. I like her. Even she goes, okay, she put that up on X and then Conan and shit. She's great. I like her. Even she goes, okay. She put that up on X and then said, okay, it's Trump. Which I found very refreshing.

And the whole world should be saying it. I guess somebody, my brother or somebody texted me saying, Trump's only behind like 10 points in New York. Which is incredible. That's like being up by 200. That comedy shithole. It's backfiring. Fucking huge. Huge. And anybody, would you really want anybody as a friend that would vote for Biden again? Seriously, wouldn't you have to question their...

It's bigger than politics. Now it's ethics and morals. Really? You like anti-Semitic terrorist pigs invading your country and illegal raping and killing? Or is that all made up by the right-wing media like Hillary used to say? Fuck off. I'll say it again. The Democrat Party has to be destroyed, not beat or defeated. It has to be obliterated completely. Somebody else figure it out. Steve Bannon seems to know. I'd vote for him tomorrow. We got more college campus ruckus back in my hometown, neck of the woods. Harvard Yard.

What are you, fucking retarded? Steve Sweeney used to fucking go up at 10 minutes. I can't park in Harvard Yard. What are you, a fucking retarded? So, yeah, things were peaceful over there for a few minutes until the Harvard kids, I guess a day ago or whatever, started to step up their own encampment.

They decided to, I mean, tents and everything. Where's the, is this campus security? You notice everybody's standing down? Nobody knows this is coming and shit. They're smarter than the cops and everything. Where's the, is this campus security? You notice everybody's standing down? Nobody knows this is coming and shit. They're smarter than the cops and shit. Go ahead,

check Harvard Yard out. Listen to the energy. You know what this is? It's a snow day for them. Look at them. They put that much energy into academics. This doesn't show them threatening Jewish students. And literally, they're fucking Nazis. They're Nazis.

That's Hobbit. Hello, Akbar! What a year they've had, huh? Hello, Akbar! You're going to send your kid there? Hello, Akbar! Are you going to hire any of those kids? Hate Jews!

Wall Street people are all the big haunches are already coming out and going, hey, good luck. Enjoy Papa, bucket delivery, Papa John's. Papa John's? Is that a pizza place? Jesus Christ. It sounded wrong to me. Well, terrorism is apparently the new sexy. Yes, it is.

Something about a girl in a hijab with a giant bush with a firecracker sticking out of it. What? What does that even mean? Being stoned to death. I guess that's hot now.

It is. It is. I think that should be allowed. It's got nothing to do with politics. Will you stay on? God damn it. God damn it.

Hey, in the second half of the show, I didn't even write this down, but I'm going to be talking about, well, we should bring up, it's a golf story. It's Thursday, but the golfers that didn't bolt to the LIV are about to get paid what they were told they were going to for not bolting. And these guys were already-millionaires and there's some big fat some of them get nine figures stay tuned for that you know it's incredible tiger woods is gonna get another hundred mil he needs it though i mean you know when you take a fucking hostess out from

applebee's you're gonna whine and dine the shit out of her also we're gonna show you the most disgusting i block it out I can't even get the term right. What do you call it? Not queens. Drag. I always get the queen part. Drag queen show where they're indoctrinating little kids

and not just about sexuality. We've hit a new low. This will shock you. Stay tuned for that. In order to get that though you have to be on mug club and where do you go for that you go to nickdip.com and sign up and uh yes hey boys and girls head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats t T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials

and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Shall we move on? Was that, did I get it out?

Fucking moron. Oh, I'm sorry. But I have something to say about Harvard more. The Harvard Unity, Harvard Unity placed the Harvard-Palestine Solidary Committee. That's the PSC. Why is that even a committee on, under suspension? Why is that even a committee under suspension?

Why is that a committee on a less than 24 hours? They also told Hamas that they have a timeout. Student launched a Gaza solidarity encampment and had pizza and donuts. Oh my God. And pork. Raw pork. Big legs of pork. Fucking, they say pigs are disgusting. Fucking pork shoulders. Some black comic had a great line about that. That he was Islam but he had to convert because he liked pork too much.

Anyhow. Is this, the more they try to silence us the louder we'll be who's that is that the harvard kids all right yeah huh i think so yeah that's it or is it another that's harvard this is harvard another clip no no oh i just i'm tired i gotta be honest by thursday i've had enough of this i go to bed with an email from another show. I wake up with an email from another show. Wake up fucking...

Honest to God, man. I'm almost looking forward to getting on stage. Just clear my head with hatred. And get people hating with me. There's no hatred on our side. That's the problem. You see nothing but hate and shrill. They're just angry, unhappy

fucking people. Boy, the fucking white supremacists are everywhere, aren't they? Huh? Wasn't it the white supremacists who are supposed to be the big Jew haters and black haters? Huh? Excuse me. There's no such thing. There might be 11 of them, like I said. And there's no such thing. Or they'd be out in droves, I would think. I don't know what they're waiting for, if they do exist. Prove me wrong, motherfucker. What?

Don't say that. Also, the University of Texas at Austin, I believe, they had some type of college ruckus going on, similar to what we just showed you, only in the state of Texas, they have a low tolerance for stupid bucks. And Greg Abbott's come around a lot for me. The way he handled sending the illegals to other cities made him, I finally put him in the check column. You know, I don't like cripples.

Yeah, do it, don't it. But yeah, they had some bullshit going on in Texas, so they sent in the National Guard. And why wouldn't everybody else? They sent everybody in. Police, state troopers, Texas Rangers. Yeah, but baseball

plays aren't going to help you. Instead of a rim shot that was a parrot. I know I saw a name one Seager. I saw Seager there. Yeah, so they this is this is how they fucking handle it. I don't understand. Where are the fire hoses and the goddamn German shepherds? I'm dead serious. Those are non-lethal. Well, get one of those, if you want to get lethal, get one of them fire dogs we showed

you yesterday from Sharper Image. They've already marked them down at $1,100. Fry some fucking chemistry major. Let's check out Texas, telling the students to get them fucked. Ooh, a whistle. Look at the girl pushing the fucking National Guard person.

I'll say it again. These kids have never been smacked in the face. Not once. See, I want to see some people getting rounded up Look it, she's filming She's filming That guy was cheering for the movie Where are the football players? Boy, they look scared, the kids, don't they?

I saw a girl literally pushing a guy in a helmet. She'd never been cracked in the mouth in her life. Honest to God, nobody on that campus has been smacked in the face by their mother. Let me say something about you parents who fucking spawned these fucking cretins. You did a dog shit job. mother or let me say something about you parents who fucking spawn these fucking cretins you did a dog shit job you're the reason i didn't have fucking kids because i was afraid they might turn out like this or i beat him silly either way i'm fucked seriously you get generations of kids who have never never been all they've been told is how fucking sweet they are and how special. It fucking makes me ill.

And this was what Abbott had to say, Governor Abbott. This year we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. Then he popped a whale, he did two donuts. Mother of goodness gracious. So that's a little better. know at least they send in the authorities i see new york cops i saw a clip i don't think i pulled it cal poly slow humboldt yes cal poly humboldt north california oh is that what it was humboldt not cal poly

uh yeah well again cops are just standing there there's a group of kids in a room hitting them Humboldt, not Cal Poly Slab. Yeah, well, again, cops are just standing there. There's a group of kids in a room hitting them over the head with a water bottle. And why not? You're busting heads. And then if anybody tries to sue you,

blow them up. It's time. Am I exaggerating, oversimplifying? I don't know. When do people start to get angry and fucking say enough is enough? I get in trouble for saying I had a gig canceled because

I said, we need another Kent State. I'm not going to repeat that. I'll let you read my mind. Exactly. Thank you. All right, let's move on, shall we? Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.

Oh, my goodness. And now shut up and make me a sandwich tonight. What do we got? Who is it? This is the Irish woman on news. Boy, I did a horrible job. Oh, this is the woman. No, it should be called...

Didn't I say Elon Musk? Go fuck yourself. What was the fuck? I guess not. I didn't even see it on the... This is, yeah, Australia? Yeah. I think so, yeah, yeah.

She's Australian. She's one of the leaders in the politics, in the Senate over there. A senator, I think, from Australia. And she has a problem with Elon Musk because a couple days ago, remember they told him to take down

a clip? And he took it down regionally. It was about Christians being attacked or some shit. And Elon took it down regionally. And then they said, no, we want it worldwide taken down. He said, go pound sand, you fat fuck, yeah. I paraphrase.

But this is how she feels about him doing that. So when it comes to the tech billionaire, like I've already said, I think he's a social media knob with no social conscience. He has absolutely no social conscience. Someone like that should be in jail and the key be thrown away. Pause. Translation. He should be in jail and throw away the key. He has no social conscience.

It's creepy that people walk around like this. This is why a woman took you forever to get the vote. All emotion. No fucking, no logic, no reason and a shitty accent. She is saying he has no social conscience yet.

Yet she wants to throw him in jail for words and throw away the key for life. But he has no social conscience. Let that sink in for a minute. Has she ever created anything in her life? Look, Elon sent people to the fucking whatever. Rockets, Tesla, never stops. Going to Mars.

Going to Mars. And then dads. What? That's how we say it. This stupid whore wants to lock them up. What happened to Australia? After the COVID thing, they showed their true colors.

Fucking she should be burned alive by accident. I don't want to say deliberately. I'm just saying her car starts and something happens. Did you see the end of Casino with De Niro? Real amateur job. Do you believe that?

Do you fucking believe that? Anyways, hey, for those of you on Mud Club, stick around for the second half of my show. Oh, my God, I memorized it. And stick around for Steven Crowder's. You get his whole show, right? Which involves, by the way, Alex Jones on Friday, Brian Callen, the Hodge twins, the undercover team that has broken a couple of stories that went national. You get all that. So go to Mug Club and sign up and you get yours truly, who keeps it, I don't want to say real, yo. I don't want to say real yo what's the white version fucking white supremacy

are you shitting me I see brown nothing but brown everywhere I look angry brown people hi goodnight everybody I won't take all that they hand me down And make out a smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town

Cause I'm not like everybody else No, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else

Cause I'm not like everybody else I see you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else