The Nick DiPaolo Show - Comer: Wray's Day Coming | Nick Di Paolo Show #1410

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Comer squeezing Wray, a women's soccer team getting destroyed and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. Hi, everybody. How are you? Welcome to the big show. That's Richie Castellano on guitar of Blue Oyster Cult fame. Richie, people ask me all the time,

who wrote that? Who plays that? And I tell them, Davy Jones of the Monkees. What? He didn't play instruments. Anyway, how you doing, folks? Tuesday here. I don't know what it is over there. I got fans in Australia.

Maybe it's fucking Wednesday. I don't know how it works. Or the day before. David Tell had a great joke. He goes, I went to Australia. He goes, when I land in Australia, I called home. I answered the phone. One funny Jew, everybody. Love him. Anybody watch game two of the NHL finals? Are you still watching NBA pretending it's a real sport?

Oh my God. Vegas dominated the Florida Panthers last night. Seven-2 final. 148 minutes in penalties. A lot of those were 10-minute misconducts. This kid, Matt Kachuk, who's a superstar. He's like a 50-goal scorer. Melrose, Massachusetts, baby. And he'd rather knock your teeth out than put a puck in the net. He enjoys

just his watch. This guy is a menace to society. I think he had two goals last night too on top of getting two 10-minute misconducts and I'd show you the clips of the vicious hits but then it would get flagged I believe right or I could do it in the second half of the show I think will be all right but I didn't think of that because I'm an asshole but I even sent the clip to Dallas of five minutes into the game I hope you guys are hockey fans. There's a guy, Gutis. He's a defenseman for Florida, big black beard, and he's as tough as he looks.

I mean, he's known for his body-crunching checks. He just lays people out at least four times a game. Five minutes into the game, somebody lays him out. I mean horizontal. He got up and went down the fucking, into the dressing room, never to be seen again. That's the type of game it was. It was, oh, after every whistle, punching in the back of the, see,

years ago, that would break into fist fights. And it would, it really would fuck up the game. So they try to, you know, but it's still, so now that they try not to drop the gloves, it gets more dirty with the sticks and the, you know, that shit. They keep their gloves on. But this Kachuk guy,

and again, they got smoked last night, but he was... I just love guys like that. This guy's a legitimate 50-goal scorer and will beat the stuffing out of you if you... In Florida, the more they were

getting beat last night, the more frustrated were getting beat last night, the more frustrated they were coming. And the thing about Vegas is they can play just as mean. They were fucking taking runs. It was beautiful. Even though it was 7-2, it was so entertaining. Again, if you don't suck a prick, or you're not a Haitian choreographer or figure skater from Japan,

it's really... And you guys, I know I've said this a million times. You know, football is my thing. I fucking meme Dallas with a college football. But as far as a spectator sport, this is every bit as good as that, if not better. These guys take it to a weird level when it comes to playoff time.

It's fucking insane. And anyways, I'm just saying, tune in. Hey, you know who was there, Dallas? Your boy Devontae Adams. Because he's a Raider. He was in the crowd and eating it up. I think he's like a regular fan. And I thought that was very cool.

You know, they interviewed him real quick, man. And insane. He couldn't even hear the lady interviewing him, you know. But he loves it. He goes, I can't believe the physicality and the, you know. Somehow, NHL, I don't know how it's not the most popular sport. No, honestly.

Because like I said, and I've said all this shit before, so pardon me if you've heard it. But it mirrors soccer as far as, you know, three forwards, two defensemen, a goalie. Only fucking, you know, squeeze the field. You put boys, you can push people into a wall as hard as you want. That's not fun. Oh my God. Like I said, it wasn't that close last night

and I was fucking, the goalie for, this goalie for frigging Vegas, guy's been kicking around on the minors and shit and whatever. Been around a few teams. You know, just standing on his head.

I love it. He'll end up, if they win the cup, he'll end up, you know, being that number one. Anyways, just watch it.

It's a lot of, very American, a lot of violence and shit. Sticks and fuck you and even some black guys are there. And of course, boy, can they lay people short. Anyways, enough of that. I'm just trying to convince you.

I should be a spokesman for the goddamn NHL. What do we got today? Comer squeezing Ray. Well, who's Ray? The head of the FBI. This is Trump's biggest mistake, by the way. And I know he didn't pick the guy himself. I'm sure they vetted him and he was talked into it. But this guy is part of the fucking problem.

This guy's a deep state jerk off who knows how to lie right under oath and all that shit. That's how they pick these guys, you know. Hey, would he know how to lie? Yeah. Congressional investigator has had an opportunity Monday to view a document detailing alleged criminal activity involving who else? President Joe Biden. What are we doing? What's going on right now? You have no idea. Well, House Oversight Chair James Comer, Republican Kentucky, and ranking member Jamie Jamie Raskin, chemo slash pirate. Dude, I understand a woman wearing that when they have cancer, but come on. You're a guy. You can be bald or fucking, unless there's something.

Maybe he got a, you know what, a fucking sickle and tattoo. That looks horrible. Anyway, Jamie, hope it's malignant. No, I kid. Jamie Raskin glimpsed the document the FBI has worked hard to keep under wraps that was not enough to satisfy the Bureau's obligation to Congress. For the Bureau's continued refusal to comply with the congressional subpoena, Comer indicated yesterday afternoon he would initiate contempt of Congress hearings against FBI Director Christopher Wray starting on Thursday. You're out of order. That's his face when he heard that was going to happen.

That's a Charles Nelson. That's a Charles Nelson. The unclassified document flashed to Comer and Raskin Monday, which the FBI has worked ardently to keep out of lawmakers' hands, is an FBI-generated FD1023. Oh, Jesus. Not the 1023. It's a form that reportedly contains valuable, and this is in quotes, verifiable information describing an alleged $5 million criminal scheme. Does anybody not believe this? Involving then Vice President Biden and a foreign national relating to the exchange of money for ice cream cones. Sure. No, for policy decisions. Okay, pay and play, whatever the fuck they call it. That's exactly what that is.

Hey, Schiff, are you watching? This is how it's done. Oh, my God, I put this, I put a little bit of this different makeup on to keep my head from shining, but I got a Trump kind of orange thing going. You know what I'm saying? Isn't this worse than Watergate ever was

or ever could be? Oh, God. There's been a... Everything Biden has touched has been worse than Watergate. The immigration thing, letting these jerk-offs pour over? That couldn't be.

All of it. Absolutely. Hillary, the Steele dossier, interfering with a fucking election? The 2016 election. Not to mention the one that was stolen. The House Oversight Committee has been looking to get its hands on the document since early May when congressional Republicans subpoenaed the FBI to that effect.

The FBI has, however, repeatedly refused to turn over the document. Who the fuck do they think they are? After missing another deadline last week, the FBI finally brought the document to Capitol Hill, not to turn over as legally required, but to privately show to Comer and Raskin. Couldn't you just grabbed it? A secured invite, bring it down to Kinko's? Give me 50, give me 100 of these. Secured environment. You know, they look at it in a skiff, a secure room. Viewing sensitive information.

What Comer saw was apparently as telling as the FBI's desperation to hide it. Today, FBI officials confirm that the unclassified FBI-generated record has not been disproven and is currently being used in an un- Not going to- been disproven and is currently being used in an on not going to not disprove even though the word is they're saying yeah it's fucking a real thing uh used in an ongoing investigation coma said monday noting the investigation is likely being undertaken in biden's home state of delaware the confidential human source who provided information about then-Vice President Biden being involved in a criminal bribery scheme is a trusted, highly credible informant who has been used by the FBI for over 10 years. God, I hope it's not that guy Hanson. And has been paid

over six figures, continued Comer. These are facts and no amount of spin and frankly lies from the White House or congressional Democrats can change this information, added Comer. Mike Davis, founder of the Article III Project and former Arby's manager in Denver, chief counsel for nominations to Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley, whatever that means, he's a lawyer for Grassley, said Ray should be impeached for refusing to produce Congress a document evidencing the FBI cover-up,

then Vice President Joe Biden taking a foreign bribe in changing American policy. Foretaking that bribe. That's what he fucking did. Bye-bye, dickhead. Do you fucking believe it? Watergate. Un-fucking-believable.

Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about, what am I going to be talking about? I'm going to be showing you a clip of a black woman going on a rampage in a park in New York and how it ended. Also, what Satanists did to a dead deer carcass on

camera when they didn't know somebody was filming them. Yummy, yummy. Stay tuned for that. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapalashow.com. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. That's me during the hockey game last night. Wife said, make me come. I said, what? I'm a man, not a magician.

A team comprised of, did I tell you what I did when the FedEx guy brought this long, skinny box? It was about up to my shoulders. It was about like this, you know, rectangular. While he's still there, I go, honey, your sex toy's here. Boy, did he, boy, did she not laugh. A team, he was laughing. He's a nerdy guy with glasses laughing at his balls. A team, I don't even think he liked girls. I don't know how he got such a manly job. A team compromised of U.S. women's soccer legends. Oh, my favorite story of the day.

Story of the day. And some of the best female players in the world lost with an astounding are you guys sitting down? 12-0 score to Wrexham AFC. They came in behind the Chiefs. A team from Wales made up of current, former, and guest male players.

And the girls try to play them. I can do anything better than you. No you can't. Yes I can do anything better than you. No, you can't. Yes, I can. No, you can't. Yes, I can.

Shut your mouth. I'll punch your face. Suck my ass. CBS Sports reported on the game. They did. They kept it quiet, didn't they? On the game, featured in the tournament,

a seven-on-seven soccer competition with a million-dollar prize to the tournament winner. Now, yeah, so the girls played the guys because they're very, very tough. And have you ever seen a worst case of penis envy? That's all this has been, the women's movement for the last 40 years. Yes, I'm glad they get equal pay if they're doing the equal work. All that shit, I agree to all. The rest of it, stick it up your ass. And now you've lost your minds, whether it's

letting a trans woman play against biological. You've lost your fucking minds. And you keep wanting to These aren't even trans. These are just regular fucking dyed-in-the-wool dykes. Who wanted to take on guys in soccer.

And you only do that if you think you can win. You don't go out there thinking you're going to get disgraced, do you? Anyways, I don't know if you're a guy or a girl. If you're a girl, these are the lowlights. If you're a guy, you know this is going to happen anyways. Anyways, I'll repeat it. 12-0 score. We're going to show you every goal in a nice mashup.

Let her roll, Sonny. There's a shot, and there's a goal. First goal of the game goes to Wrexham. It's for the keeper. Whoa, right around Diane. Lloyd fires and scores back-to-back goals. Another

shot and another goal. And yes, it's Louis Lloyd again. I like this guy beating up on a woman. He's got a hat trick. Five minutes. Louis Lloyd She's getting mad. Big ass. Well, there's Trondo able to turn and get another goal. So now it's 4-0.

And now a takeaway. Look at it. But Trundle able to keep it. Like playing against kids. With the left and Trundle with his second goal. So far so good in this game. So far so good. Another goal.

There's George Boyd. Trundle. Got a hat trick. Murkoff trying to move around. That's going to be a nice pass and a goal for George Boyd. Murkoff takes that shot with the left, and Murkoff is able to get one by. Perfect contact. That was perfect contact.

A nice feed. It's a fast pace. You know, a lot of these guys have a lot of experience. A lot of goals as well. Like that, exactly. Big man on top. All right. Just experience wide.

Over. Jarvis. There it is. Game over. Mercy rule. Oh, my God. Ladies, you think I feel, but no, I don't. I love it.

Remember the Olympic team with Rapido, that angry dyke, who was famous for five minutes? Remember they played, was it a boys' high school team? And lost. I'm just saying, how many times are you going to disgrace yourself? Stop it, ladies. I mean, you have your own leagues and shit now. Be happy with that. Ooh, that sounded, huh? They can't get over it. Nick, why do you take such joy? Because. I'm 61. I was born in 1968. And I've been listening to this, women can

do anything men can do, since I was fucking in high school, and really tired of it, and the trans thing is really putting that argument, I mean, if you want to call those women, it reminded me, this game, and these highlights of another blowout of a soccer game, a few years ago, that was widely talked about. A real one-sided game and let's go to the videotape. Well thank you Cliff. Tonight's other outstanding match was the semi-final between the Bournemouth Gynecologists and the Watchford Long John Silver impersonators. We bring you edited highlights of the match. Listen to the pirates. Lon Johnson. For those of you listening at home,

it's a bunch of guys dressed like pirates with peg legs just standing in one spot as these guys dressed in like hospital scrubs and masks go around them and just kick it into the... Monty Python, folks. Oh, my God. God bless him. John Cleese, by the way, if you've seen him lately, he has had it to the... Monty Python, folks. Oh, my God. God bless him. John Cleese, by the way.

If you've seen him lately, he has had it with the PC shit. Oh, my God. Love it. The outcome was less than desirable for the women's team. We're back to this blowout. Who does the guy... The guy on the right looks like... God damn it.

Some football player. The outcome was less than desirable for the women's team. However, as they gave up seven goals in the first 20 minutes, which was played in two 20-minute halves, the game ended with a 12th and final goal, initiating a mercy rule just after the 40 minute in the overtime period. What? I don't know the fuck that. While the women's goalkeeper, Lindsay Harris, seen here dejected, took a shower in the fetal position, crying as blood went down the drain,

was often pictured emotional and at times dejected. I love how she was punching the ground and yelling at the other players. The women's team made no excuses. That's exactly what this broad did. The women's team made no excuses and had extremely positive outlook on the game. Translation, they're still in denial. Here is Pie Eater trying to put a silk hat on a pig as i say listen to she just got b12 nothing all right i want you to listen to her try to again it's what happens when you're raised and everybody

gets a trophy error just did you just listen to this this pc gobbledygook pouring out of her mouth that means absolutely nothing go ahead this is all women. Maybe not the scoreline you were wanting to see, but what's your perspective on what's happening right now? Listen, we're super proud. We're so happy to be here at this event. Pause. Excuse me? You're super proud. She couldn't have picked a worse word. You're super proud? Think about that. There's a misconnection there. They just got beat 12-0.

How about, yeah, we got humbled. How about, I guess guys really are superior when it comes to soccer. That's what, that would be being completely honest and a true statement. And of course the broad interviewing doesn't go you're proud?

Of what exactly? Well, we didn't get beat 100 in a nothing. Let her talk. We've proven to anybody, like, just go for it. Just live, right? Pause. Just live. Why, you're really setting the bar high.

Just live, she just said. Just have a pulse and shit. Take a dump, brush your teeth. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Honey, buddy. Go ahead. That can happen.

We lose 16-0 to Rexham. We don't care because we're living, we're being bold, we're being brave. Pause. That's it. They're being bold and brave. No, running up the stairs when the Twin Towers was collapsing to save people. See, that was brave and bold and courageous. But now this is considered, oh, when a gay guy dances, you know, a drag queen pushes back against a Catholic. That's brave.

We are, if we're not wrong in the final fucking five minutes, I don't know. This is what I say to you. You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. The pleasant responses from the female players is indeed a change of tune. Look at that. Putting a positive, even the media.

When compared to the official U.S. Women's National Team, which shooed the U.S. Soccer Federation, five women from the team filed a complaint claiming they did not receive pay equal to the men's national team. The federation settled for $24 million. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. No, no, no. They don't understand.

That was Megan Rapoport, by the way, that was in on that lawsuit. You know, the purple hair called Trump a fucking asshole. Just an angry, again, angry at God because she's an aberration. But she did get a subway deal. Can you imagine saying something about a Democrat president like that? Biden's a fucking asshole and getting a deal with, huh?

What a fucking world of mamalooks. Anyways, yeah, girls, Biden's a fucking asshole. I'm getting a deal with, huh? What a fucking world of mama Luke's. Anyways, yeah, girls, stick to girls. It's a girl's sport anyway. I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else,

go to NickDepaloShow.com and join to get my full show, Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And while you're there, why don't you click on the tour button if you want to see me. Again, I think July is my next date at the Arlington Draft House in Virginia. So hopefully I'll see you there. All right? All right. guitar solo Outro Music