The Nick DiPaolo Show - Comey Back In The Barrel | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1888

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

In today's episode, Nick talks about Comey's Double Indictment, Minocqua Brewing's Death Obsession, Motorcycle Wreck in Russia, Cobra Kills Tourist, Zeldin Embarrasses Lefty Douche, Generation Snowflake and A Nookie Monster! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

If you want to talk like a fucking Milan, we'll send you to Slipham Fall School. That wasn't by very nice, Richie. That's the great Richie Appreel, played by David something. Does that cut it down by you? Anyways, how are you? Welcome to the live lineup, where it's free shows all day. And if you want to watch ad free, you join Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble.

appetizer. Today I will be talking about Comey's double indictment because he's a dickweed. Trump has a real hate on for him and I hope he anyways. Managua Brewing's death obsession. Remember that left-wing brewer in Wisconsin? Cuck, son of a gun. Motorcycle wreck in Russia. That's the shit I'm up at three in the morning watching on TikTok. instead of rubbing one out. Got some horrible stories. Another guy dies of a snake bite. It's fucking great.

And Lee Zeldon, who's on Gutfell a lot used to be before he became head of the EPA. He made an ass of that ugly fucking Doloro Brood who looks like Abe Vagoda in his late 90s and she's got purple hair. He fucking tore her a new penis. Oh my God, it was fucking so good.

So we'll show you that. And my tooth right now, this is temporary until we do whatever the fuck we're doing. I was at a dental surgeon or a periodontist in his chair at 9 o'clock this morning. Well, the appointment was 9. I got at 9.55. But I honestly got it didn't bother me

because this guy, it's like, he's got it going on. And I found him in a man. magazine down here. He's won all these awards and shit. And he, and he, he, he's good enough to be, good, good enough looking to be like an actor, you know, and he's kind of young. He's in his, probably, I don't know, late 30s, maybe 40. But he just, all business, you know, he's singing to the, he's got like, um, blues playing. Yeah, I go, you, and I remember reading in the magazine, all the reviews and people go, he loves to sing to his, he, he's, he, he's going, he, he's, he's He was saying it when I went in there.

And, yeah, no, and he just looks in my mouth, and he goes, you know, your teeth are numbered, one through 32. He's this seven, and she's taking notes. But he was saying shit. I know all dentists do that, but he, he was, I don't know, he was speaking some jargon that only, I guess, surgeons would know about. But it was just very impressive. Then, then they took me down the hall.

I get enough radiation to me to fucking, you know, make something happen bad. I had this thing done two days ago. You know, they put me on another one today. 3D, 3D images. The minute they do me, they bring me back to his office. We look at it together. And still, they're asking me, I've had so much, I go, I don't know anymore. I said, Doc, my head's spinning.

I said, I got a gap over here that needs, in my opinion, two implants. And then he checks the thing to see if there's enough bone there to do that. And I wake up at 5 o'clock this morning with this. fucking thing. This temporary thing is throbbing like somebody punched me in the... I go, what the fuck? Is this what it's going to be from here on in? Let me tell you

something. I know there's a country that you can fly over and kill yourself with no problems. I was looking at flights to Europe. Oh my God. Fucking thing. And this thing's hanging. This temporary I get in folks, I'm telling you, if you come

out to the punchline, Atlanta, or one of those gigs next weekend, Pennsylvania, Philly. You might see my teeth fly right out of, because it's hanging onto a bit of bone. We don't know how it lasted three years in the first place. And it's even, there's even less to, because a little bit of the tooth snapped off and the teeth stuck on my chicken wing. So that, yeah, but that wasn't, that didn't hurt all day and all day yesterday. Until around five o'clock, I felt a little, just a little tingle. By the time I went, went to bed. I got up, I took ibuprofen, which I never do. And it takes a little of the edge off,

but I've been awake since about five. I fell back to sleep at like 7.40 and my alarm went off at 8 because I had to be in his chair. Oh my God. So if you know, if you see I'm talking fucked up a little bit, some words that I have problem was like suck in a cock. Anyhow, Red Sox P.U. last night. God forbid they won three in a row. Oh, they did went three or all. That would have been four last night. Yeah, they get shut out. Nobody's hitting.

Nobody's, nobody's hitting. Except for a brao. Oh, my God. They put the averages up, you know, the lineup up. And by the way, your Braves are 20 and 9. 21 and 9. Fuck me. This.

Fucking guy gets picky. I'm giving him credit. He's at 21 and 9. ERA, but it's like 182, 202, 176. I'm talking superstars, a couple of them. Poor Roman Anthony is lost right now. That poor guy is lost. And I mean, it's got to be, he had all that buildup.

It's got to be hard. You're 21 years old. You know, I mean, you got like the whole city of Boston fucking chewing you out on the radio. You're 21. And, yeah, they just didn't hit last night. They had been hitting. it up a little bit. Anyways, so, but the Bruins go into Buffalo. It's a elimination game because

it's three to one Buffalo. The Bruins lose last night. They're going home. Goes into, I'm watching a fucking game on TBS. Somebody helped me out here or TNT, one of those T's. And this is about the fourth time it's happening watching the playoffs. I watched the whole game. It's right near the end of the game and they go, we're going to throw it to the next game coming on. and then there's nowhere else to watch the rest of the and it's happened at three overtime game I almost fucking put my foot through the TV last night but it's up on the wall I couldn't reach that high

it goes into overtime I'm watching the whole fight it goes into overtime and they go we have to throw it to Anaheim or whatever fuck I go I go am I living a fucking and they always go to ESPN2 or some and I go there and it's the game they threw it to I don't fucking know

I can't explain it I'm probably doing something wrong, but I looked all over the fucking guy. I couldn't find that anywhere. So I have to go to YouTube and go, Bruin's Sabres highlights. And luckily this generation doesn't know what highlights means. If you go to say you put in Braves highlights

or Red Sox highlights, it's, yeah, it's 14 minutes. They show the opening pitch, a guy pops up to the catcher they show there. And again, I'm sure it's about YouTube and scream time. advertising or whatever the fuck. But I'm just saying,

they show a guy ground out to short in the fifth inning. Not even like a great play or whatever the fuck. I'm going, oh my God. But hockey's different because there's a ton of action. They go five, six minutes without a whistle. How this isn't the most popular sport in the world is beyond me. Anyways, fuck and Bruins, yeah, go into overtime.

I'm like, and then, you know, if they won goal and you're going home, About three, four minutes in, maybe a little more than that. Somebody hits Pasta knock, one of the best goals scores in the history of the Bruins, if not the best. Breakaway, walks in, fucking. By the time he left the zone, the goalie was laying there naked with just a fucking jockstrap, crying in his own pee.

He faked this guy out of his jock like only a 60 goal score could. And what a nice pleasant, you know. So I was happy about that. Then this started kicking in. I go, oh, fuck it. Life's too short. Get the fuck out of here. All right.

I thought it opened with some late. Funny thing happened me on the way to show. Headline, double jeopardy. The Department of Justice has indicted former douchebag FBI director and cocksucker James Comey for a second time. Sources familiar with the matter told somebody that told me. He, uh, so yeah, so Trump's like fucking,

Trump's got this guy on the top of his shit list, you know? And he thought he was going to get away. Remember, he got indicted the first time he got off? I'm not through with my examination. Sit down. Here you go. Trump's all going to call me. The charges which were not immediately clear were first reported by CNN.

One of Comey's defense attorneys in his earlier case involving alleged false statements to Congress declined to comment. Comey, 65 years old, was initially indicted on September 25th last year on charges of making false statements and obstruction of justice only for a federal judge to throw out the case two months later on the grounds that the then interim U.S. attorney Lindsey Halligan was improperly appointed to her position and had no lawful authority to secure the indictment. Sounds like a technicality to me. The earlier case hinged on an exchange Comey had with Senator Teddy Cruz out of Texas. During a September 30 of the 2020 Senate Judiciary Committee hearing during which the former FBI director denied authorizing leaks to the media outlets

related to FBI's Trump-Russia investigation and a separate probe into former Secretary-State, Hillary Clinton's use of a private server to store her sensitive emails. He denied leaking any of that. on May 3rd of 2017 in this committee Chairman Chuck Grassley asked you point blank this is Ted Cruz have you ever been an anonymous source and news reports about matters relating to the Trump

investigation or the Clinton investigation and Teddy Cruz said you responded under oath never your answer was that was the line of questioning from Cruz he then asked you have you ever authorized someone else at the FBI to be an anonymous source in news reports about the Trump investigation or the Clinton administration. You responded again, Mr. Colmy, under oath, no.

The Texas Republican then noted that Comey's response to Grassley appeared to be at odds with comments made by former FBI director Andrew McCabe, who Cruz said publicly and repeatedly stayed that he leaked information to the Wall Street Journal and that you, Mr. Colmy, were directly aware of it and that you directly. authorized it. Who's telling the truth? Cruz asked. To which Comey responded, like the douchey is,

I can only speak to my testimony. I stand by the testimony you summarized that I gave in May of 2017. Once again, Comey, like last time, puts out a video claiming his innocence. Listen to this douchebag, wine.

This case mattered to me personally, obviously, but it matters most because a message has to be sent that the President of the United States cannot use the Department of Justice to target his political enemies. Pause.

Did you hear what he just said? The shamelessness, the balls. Trump can't use a DOJ to go after his political opponents. Why were you being indicted? What were you there for? Do you believe the fucking gall? These people been getting away

to the ship for so long. They're in another world. They think they're untouchable. This one today is about, and it's kind of silly, but remember he fucking put 86, 45 in the sand with seashells or something on the beach and took a picture it? Or somebody did, and he took, did he do it? I can't even remember. He posted it. That's right. He claims someone else did it.

Either way. Either way. So, yeah, let him wind some more. I don't care what your politics are. You have to see this fundamentally un-American and a threat to the rule of law that keeps all of us free. Oh, my God, it's projection to the tent policy. I know that Donald Trump will probably come after me again,

and my attitude's going to be the same. I'm innocent. I am not afraid. And I believe in an independent federal judiciary. The gift from our founders that protects us from a would-be-tire. Oh, my God. Fuck yourself, convict! Do you believe the gall?

Accusing Trump and the DOJ of doing exactly what he did. It's fucking, we're on another planet, folks. Trump's not going to let him go. If he gets by and this one, Trump will go after him for something else. I would hope. Make something up. Make something up. Guy belongs in jail.

He's a fucking, as Trump said, he's a dirty cop. My, my. That I'd be prof and ain't working. I feel like I was just in a fight. Hey, boys and girls, May 7th, Punchline, Atlanta, Georgia. I'll be standing on stage, spitting teeth at you. May 8th, Sol Joel's Potson. If I have any teeth left to spit, I'll do it there too.

May 9th, Rivers Casino in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Probably lose the only teeth I get left at a casino in Philly. That's what it sounds like to me. I am dying to see what goes to a... I'm guessing not all the people from Temple. go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets before they're all sold out and while you're there go to the merchandise page we have all kinds of stuff there and when you buy something

it supports the show I personally made the hoodies myself I took some time out and okay it was 12 Native American girls in their late teens at a factory in where do they live now Dakota we've got hats hoodies you know what, padded bras, IUDs, ass pads, heavy day pads, light pads, kind of partly cloudy pads. Also want to send a personalized video to someone. I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to. I'll make a video busting somebody's balls or saying happy birthday to mother and come get her shoes.

Book that at shoutout.us. Shoutout.us. More trouble. Who was that guy who tried to come up with his name again? Sherry gave it to me after the show. Anyways, more trouble brewing is the headline. Kirk Bangstad. Look at him.

He looks like El Franken, living on potatoes. The owner of Monacoa Brewing Company in Wisconsin and the treasurer of a federal super pack of the same name is among the American leftists who apparently savor news of violence against concern. Why didn't you go into politics, your pussy? He ran for something, I think, didn't he?

And other Americans with opposing political views. They're all yappy, happy, yappy. I'm telling you, you guys are poking it and poking it. And when it finally goes off, you're going to be hiding in your no-gun zones and wondering what the fuck hit you

and going, holy shit, Whitey really is the devil. That's what you're going to be saying. Every fucking ex-marine, every cop. Bankstead rushed, for instance, to state, fuck Charlie Kirk immediately after the turning point founder assassination at Utah Valley University. Then wrote weeks later, may his soul never find peace.

Big tough guy. Big tough guy. Fat fuck. Beyond relishing in Kirk's demise, whoa, Bankstead, whatever, candidate who was ordered to pay a six-figure sum for defamation in 2023 and was charged with harassment last year,

vowed in an alarming message posted in January to give fellow travelers free beer all day long the day Trump dies. Though the post did not mention, President Trump by name. Oh, it didn't? Why not? Faggot. Gak sucker. Bankstads' remarks to reporters in subsequent posts made clear he was referring to Trump, whom he unsuccessfully attempted to block from the 2024 presidential ballot in Wisconsin. Your day's coming in the barrel. Warm coffee feels good on my tooth. While Wisconsin Democrats were virtually silent about

Bankstad's extremist content earlier this year. Content that the U.S. Secret Service previously told Blaze's news was on the agency's radar. They piped up this time after the Brewer wrote the following last weekend, after yet another attempt on Trump's life, this time at the correspondence dinner. This is what he posts after the shooting at the correspondence dinner. Well, we almost got free beer today. either a brother or sister and the resistance needs to work on their marksmanship

or he faked another assassination to get a positive news cycle these people actually believe that can you say that not have the FBI knocking on your door the fucking secret server CIA whoever will never know regardless we stand at the ready to pour free beer

the day it happens. Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? What a C. Hey, I heard that bear sucks. I know a friend who got diarrhea from it. You almost bled out. I heard it's like fucking donkey piss.

Speaking of donkey piss, this guy sucks donkey dick around the clock. Fucking fat shit. Twat fucking. Anyways. I'm Sean Hannity. Welcome to the Hangout. Sean Hannity has a podcast now because that's what he needs.

This fucking guy. I mean, you talk about a work ethic. This guy's Irish Catholic fucking, no, I should say Protestant work ethic. Mother of God. He's had a TV show. Does three hours of radio, then does his TV show. And I used to say, well, his wife probably hates his fucking wife. And then he married Angely Earhart, who's a, you know, Fox News piece of ass.

So maybe he's gay. No. Sean's a fucking dude. Straight up, Sean. He's like got a man cave now. He's already good. Of course, now he does all the shit from his, you know, fucking villa in Long Island, wherever he is.

He doesn't have to leave his compound. That's what I was shooting for, dude. That's what I was shooting for. Some I ended up at, you know, Uncle Titties in Staten Island doing 20 minutes. Remember Grandpa Munster on the Munsters? Al Lewis, his name was. He was from Staten Island. He had a comedy club called Grandpa's on Staten.

We did it. Anybody in New York would take the ferry over. God Lord, what was I thinking? A spokesman for the Democrat Party of Wisconsin told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel whose female reporter, Bankstad, has tasked his followers with hounding, that the radical brewer's rhetoric is completely, this is the head of the Democratic Party in Wisconsin, that this guy's rhetoric is completely unacceptable

and should be retracted immediately. I'm sure she meant it from her little black heart. I denounce those who had any reaction to last night's shooting other than outrage at the state of political violence. violence in our country. Don't say state of political violence. Here we go. And I've been screaming this forever. I was screaming it when George Bush, W. Bush was in office going, why do you let them say both sides do it? Or the political climate's got a cool down. Why do you do that? That's why you're still in a fight with them. But Trump's not doing that. Finally, is that what it took? Fucking

18 attempts on Trump's life before you said, you know what? It's coming from their side. then you finally had the balls to say it. They can't even deny it now. Who said that? Former Wisconsin Lieutenant Governor Mandela. His parents made him, Mandela Barnes, who was presently running as a Democratic governor. So at least he had,

anytime a black guy's wearing a farmer shirt, I'm good with him. My wife made a funny fucking remark last night. She goes, If you ever notice when a black guy's wearing glasses, you trust him more? I go, holy shit. George, fucking, George Carlin would have bought that for my wife. That was actually a good one.

Let's get off politics a little bit, right? This is what I do. We'll lighten up with a couple of young deaths. This, I labeled this one, nice meeting you here. Horrifying video. I don't know who horrifies. I'm watching this shit. I got my dick.

one hand and a blanket and the other. Blanket. What? Yeah, this kid, I know. He's got a blanket. What? Horrifying video shows a motorcycle slamming into a car and every time you see

footage from other places, I go, we really do have the best country. Everything just looks like fucking shit to me. In Russia, a motorcycle slams into the side of a car. The rider, killing the rider, and seriously.

injuring the passenger, the rider. You mean the fucking driver? Unbullied. What a fifth grade is right in the shit? The guy driving the motorcycle, he died. The guy in the back he should have died, so he's broken into 1100 pieces. They were flung through the

air with the greatest of ease. Security footage shows the motorcycle failing to slow as it plows into a Renault in Sunday's deadly crash in Krasnodar cry. That's name and a play. And that's a bad intersection.

I had an apartment in Krasner. Let me tell you. We complained about it many times. I told you, I saw an old lady. I didn't see you get whacked, but I saw her laying in the street when I lived in Brighton, Mass, and I got on the local news. I look out, I hear, oh, no!

I look out, and this young woman is dragging an old lady out of the middle of the street. And all of a sudden I hear fucking ambulance and all kinds of shit, and WCVD Channel 5 showed up, and I'm watching it all from my window. So I'm watching them, and they're there for, like,

hours. Finally, they're packing up the shit and I go wandering down there. And I go, hey, uh, I, uh, I know what happened, which I didn't see it. And this is, I went in his nose. Guy was almost bothered. He opened the truck and took the camera back out. I was wearing my suede $700 jacket that I bought from, uh, what's that company, something West, nine West, I think it's a call. Um, I was still selling meat and seafood door to door. and I had a stack of cash. It was so great. I'm like, what, 20, fucking two.

Walk in that fucking 700 in cash, right on. Give me that, fucker. And I go outside two days later, it rains on and fucking stains it. I hadn't sprayed it yet. Your mother's box. The force of the crash sent the motorcycle rider hurtling

over the hood of the car while second passenger is left sprawled across the front. This is like a good hit, you see, over the middle. Check this shit out, I don't know what the biker was thinking. Let's take another look and super slow motion.

Nothing about it. What's weird, Dallas? There's no cars before or after. It's like, what are the odds these two fuckers? You know what I mean? It's like getting hit by a train in the middle of the country

on 1 o'clock on a Wednesday. The 23-year-old motorcyclist was pronounced dead as a doornail at the scene. He's gone. and we couldn't do nothing about it. You could have done something, pound on his chest, something. Get the frivolators out. While the passenger also 23 was what, here we go,

it was severely wounded. Apparently there was gunplay that we didn't see and rushed to a nearby hospital. The passenger was not wearing a helmet. Oh, boy. The motorcycle was smashed up while the Renault was badly damaged at the front. Footage released by the main directorate

of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. of Krasnodar Kai. Wow. That's a good split. He looks like a cheerleader for Oklahoma celebrating a touchdown. Look at the fucking guy on the hood

of the car doing a headstand. Hey, I got hit by a car and I told you, apparently I went into shock because I woke up in the middle of street. I didn't remember fucking anything. I remember a sensation of falling and waking up on the yellow line and looking at my bike that was like this. It was

crumpled into a bucket. I'm guessing they went into shock. That guy dies, though. The one doing the split on the left, he was the driver. The other kid, rap dancing, what do they call it? Spinning on his head on the hood. He was broken up pretty bad.

There's no indication of any possible injuries sustained by the Renault driver. Well, thanks for clearing that up. I figured he would have been critical conditions. It was almost a three-hand. inch mark on his car. Didn't the country look cold and gross? I thought I'd follow that up with some more death. We're going to have to come up with one of those. Death of the day. Daud. Dodd, Doddville. We'll have a vaudeville and a Doddville. Headline, not so charming. A German tourist has died after a venomous cobra featured in a snake show, reportedly slither up his pants. Oh my

God and bid him on the leg. Can you imagine? I didn't like picking up garden snakes as a kid. Everybody, I'd pick it up and slam it on the ground. My father would come over and what the fuck is your problem? My father would slap me in the, and he's right.

What are he doing? My old man was fucking hated stupid shit like that. Can you, why would I'll just read. Only in, it's in Egypt. The freak accident occurred early April at a luxury resort destination in Egypt. It's a pretty beach.

The guy was on vacation with his family. Oh, my God. To the Bavarian State Police in Germany, which released details. During the Snake Charmer's performance, one of the snakes crawled into the trousers of a 57-year-old man. Now, a lot of the other people at the show thought he was just well hung. and did nothing. 57-year-old man resulting in a bite to the German tourist leg, he yelled 9-9 while other people will laugh.

That's the snake charmer. Police said the victim whose identity was not released was on vacation with two family members from the Unterlach region. of Germany. Two snakes believed to be cobras were used in the show. Apparently, one of them had a real attitude. He only got one mouse for dinner last night

and he was holding it against a investigators indicated that it is not uncommon for performers to allow snakes to interact closely with audience members. You know, it should be uncommon. It should be very uncommon. It should be on the ticket.

We do not let you play with the snakes vice versa. It's a first thing I'd ask, hey, can that thing touch me? It's one thing if it just sprung up and bit you on your pants. But to go up your fucking pants to allow snakes to interact closely with audience members as some of the snakes

were reportedly, listen to this, placed around guests necks during the act. That's what the guy made the mistake. 1960, let's see, when was the Expo? The World Expo was in Montreal in

1970 or 60. I don't know. I was seven or eight. Anyways, the parents pack us in the car. We drive up to Montreal. And we were walking around all day, looking at all the shit.

Me and my brother bought these rubber snakes that looked so fucking real. And we were walking around with them around our necks. And fucking people were freaking out. That my fucking, my parents had take those off. People,

you see little kids pointing it all scary. They were rubber. But Jesus Christ. they look real. I just thought to throw that in. My fucking tooth's killing me. However, during one segment of the performance, a snake reportedly bit the German tourist

after the German tourist gave him a dirty look and offered him a mentos. What? After crawling into his clothing, he subsequently exhibited clear symptoms of poisoning and required resuscitation officials

said, uh, enough is enough i have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this show this motherfucker playing everybody's strap in shut up wow real stretch for samuel l jackson to play an angry black guy get the fuck out of here you overrated piece of shit anyways he reportedly died shortly at poities he ate white people by the way that's why i treat him like i treat him uh he reportedly you know he's a multi-zillionaire i'm sure my words really sting he reportedly died shortly after arriving at

a local hospital because they were in Egypt and the only thing they have was leeches and they only had one leech left. Cobras are known for being highly venomous snakes. Well, thanks. I thought they were friendly little fucking pugs. Their bite can lead to rapid respiratory failure and paralysis without prompt medical treatment. Here's an idea, Egypt and snake charming jerkoff. How about having a doctor right there With some snake venom What do you call it? Ant-anadote

Again, I confuse it with anecdotes Like Ron Whitea I won't repeat the joke again I know I've said it many times Ibuprofen Fuck that noise What else is stronger? Yeah, I'm going to pile all that in

I'm going to crush it up and snort it Probably work better that way I don't know Hey headline, don't mess with Texas I had to do this because I'm a Red Sox fan, not a big fan of the fucking Yankees, as you know. Don't hate them as much as I did in the 70s. Because as you get old,

there's a ton of other shit to hate. Right? I mean, your mechanic, your wife, all kinds of shit. What? That's not true. This Yankees fan got to see just how bright the stars are in Texas. Instead of doing that,

you're going to throw the old man up. That'll be the equivalent of you. One male Bronx bomber backer got his clock cleaned by a pair of Rangers fans, while his girlfriend got shoved on a flight of stairs, which is my favorite part. I read that I go, she must have fell like three or four stairs. She went down like a stunt fucking. She went down the stairs like OJ did when they popped out of the wheelchair. And that fucking, I can never remember the goddamn movie.

Naked gun. Thank you. got shoved down a flight of stairs and a chaotic scene Monday night at Globe Life Field one clip showed the pair of Yankees fans with their backs to the field a pairing to taunt the fans

sitting in the row behind them in the seats beyond the right field wall this kid's going like this telling these fans to brush their teeth or something let's take a look let's go to the video take pause it right there now what's going to this guy with a number five in his shirt he stands up he's got

either a bear or a Coke at his right hand and the kid facing him with the Yankee shirt and is going to slap it out of his hand and he's going to wish he didn't do that. That's when it all hell breaks loose. Go ahead. Now this is the funny part. This guy's hitting him with like a styrofoam finger.

Oh, the Yankees coming back. Yankee kids coming back. But then he gets caught with the left right there and he sits down again. Watch the girl. You won't see it from here. Now we've got another angle of the girl falling down this.

stairs. There's the stairs. I don't know where the fuck she is. Just keep your eye on somebody tumbling. It was like a fucking stunt man. There she goes, oh, somebody here, but I should have fucking given it to you. From like the top, you could see her. It was unbelievable. This kid, how about this? Soon as he, I see so many clips on the internet of older guys who are like, you know, they were in the military. They're like in their 70s and some young kids give them shit. And they just have never met somebody like that. And one guy, and it's an old

clip, but I watch it every time it's on. He fucking, he took this kid's shit for like, you know, five minutes and then just said, fuck you, gets in the boxes, ping, pang. Kids like in the 20s. This guy had, this guy had to be 75.

But he had shoulders, you could tell, you know, fucking. You got to know who you're fucking with. That's like the, now, now, Today, people my age, you better mind your business. Everybody under fucking 40, you know, has a black belt and fucking jujitsu. The male appeared to be repeatedly telling a Rangers fan in red behind him to brush his teeth. The woman flipped the Texas fan, the bird, while shushing him, appearing to say, shut the fuck up.

Another, again, ladies, take this as a fucking learning. video. Stay the fuck out of it. I know you believe you have the same strength as a man because all these dykes have been telling you, all your fucking gender teachers and just stay the fuck out of it. Okay, that doesn't go for black girls. Black girls can fight. They can fucking especially if a guy's wearing a weave. Um, black girls can fight. Colin always told me that because he grew up in Brooklyn. He goes, no, this black girls. I used to, he's fucking beat up some fucking guys. They're raised a little different.

Anyways, Arrange his fan in blue sitting to the left of the fan in red, uncapped his Coca-Cola plastic bottle after standing up. And that's when the male Yankee fan appeared just whacking out of his hand and then things got worse for the Yankees fans, with

multiple angles showing the woman yelling to the fan in blue. He just like pushed her down the stairs. The fan took, oh, he took a pair of bags and smushed them in the girl's face, sending her falling down the stairs, multiple rows, before she'd landed in a seat. It's something you'd see in a comedy.

Anyways. Bye, bye. I think we showed them, both. While others attend to the woman, it appeared the male Yankees fan looked to approach the Rangers fans but could not make his way to them. Yeah, I bet he couldn't. Let me get through. Everybody moves out of the way.

I can't get, yeah, you can. Get in there, Tuffy. Excuse me, folks. All right, it's my favorite clip of the day. Lee Zeldin, he's the head of the EPA now. You remember he ran for mayor of New York, and I think he'd get beat by Adams or whatever, and he would have been a great mayor.

Zeldon embarrasses purple-haired Democrat moron. Her name is Deloro, her last name. You know who we're talking about. You'll see. Looks like, again, A. Vagoda with purple hair. EPA administrator Lee Zelvin slammed rep Rosa, DeLauro for being uninformed Monday after the Connecticut Democrat completely lost it and suggested he drank weed killer during a heated congressional budget hearing.

I don't think I went that far with a clip. But later, and near the end of the argument, yeah. Oh, it is? Okay. DeLoro, the Purple Head Dush, ranking member of the House of Duce's Appropriations Committee. Why is she in charge of anything? Look at her. Look at, again, that's the face of the Democrat Party today.

A fucking dyke with purple hair, angry at the world. Because she, again, was born with a face like fucking Ernest Bognine. That's why she's angry. And she funnels it towards politics. There are a bunch of misfits, the Democrat Party. Akeem Jeffries, you didn't think he'd get the shit kicked out of them? just a just a fucking ugh

island of misfits she argued that Zelvin's budget proposal reads like a climate change deny his manifesto she still thinks everybody's moved on even the idiots on a Democrat party

are like okay it was a green scam she's still hanging on it because she's old and doesn't know what the fuck she she thinks it's 1968 and there's still black smoke billowing out of buildings It reads like a climate change denier manifesto

as she asked the EPA chief to justify abandoning the EPA's duty to protect Americans from climate change. Zeldon, a Republican, former New York congressman, wasn't having any of it. You want to watch somebody get taken apart by her joints? Look at her. First of all, if she lives another fucking eight days, she looks like a corpse.

Somebody sat up. But watch how frustrated she gets when somebody comes out with reasoning and logic and facts. Change is flooding our streets, poisoning our air, driving up health care and disaster courts. How can the EPA justify abandoning that... There was a nobly look at things staring right at me. It was horrible. To appease polluters under the false flag of economic growth. Following the law, Section 202 of the Clean Air Act, where is this saying anything about fighting global climate change?

Loper Bright, Supreme Court case. Are familiar with it? No, maybe others are not, but let me ask. But that's really important. As a member of Congress, Loper Bright says that we as an agency don't have the authority to get creative if Section 202 of the Clean Air Act. No, but you don't have, excuse me.

You do not have the right to say climate change does not exist, that it's a hoax, and that's where this administration is coming from. I understand you're upset that you don't know what Loperbrite is. You know what the major policies doctrine is? I'm upset because... You know what the major policy is? doctorate? You're a member of Congress, you should know. You have moved from someone who defended the environment to all of a sudden.

Very defensive about not knowing the two biggest landmark Supreme Court cases of the last year with regards to your question. You are very defensive about changing your policy and your positions with regard to the environment. Now, do just tell me. Do you want me to tell you what the two biggest Supreme Court cases are of the last few years? This is what I want you to tell me. Michigan versus EPA? Whoa.

West Virginia versus EPA. No, you're here because you need money from us. So halt for the second. Pause. Yeah, there's the real left coming out. Now she pulls the power. You need money from this. I'm here to appropriate that money.

You better to shut your mouth and let me fucking run roughshod over you. If that's not the left, always telling the right to keep their mouth shut. He's coming out of her with facts. She doesn't know any of it. She's supposed to fucking know it's what she gets paid for. And I hope she finds a lump on her saggy tits.

Action. for the questions and answer the question. Well, I answered your question, and you didn't like my answer because you don't know what Loperbrite is, because you don't know what the major policies doctrine is, because you're asking me, you're asking me about Section 202 of the Clean Air Act, and you don't read it. You don't know what it says. Listen, and what you want to do is to deny you want to... No, I actually read the law.

I do my homework. Really? You're just somebody who likes to have the microphone on. You know what I have to do? I read the law. I read the Supreme Court cases. And I would say that you should do for your constituents is actually a read statute. The budget is at real risk.

Read your Supreme Court. This is the Appropriations Committee. You come here. You care about science. Now you're threatening to defund it? Oh my God. No, you don't fund science. Because you don't know what Loperbray is.

Because you don't know what the major policy doctrine is. Your message to our folks at the EPA is that you wanted to fund us. I don't have to listen to this BS. B.S. Do you think I made up these cases? Oh my God. If it was a heavyweight fight, they would have stopped at 30 seconds in. Oh, my God.

Get out of my room, you sick, cunt. I love this show. DeLoro snapped after Zeldon rattled off a couple more major Supreme Court cases of which a Democrat lawmaker was unaware. Later on the hearing, when things appeared to settle down a bit, DeLauro accused the Trump EPA of not doing enough to go after polluters. Zeldon opened up his binder and started comparing the Trump administration's enforcement actions to the Biden administration's.

when DeLauro interjected. She goes, glyphosate, she said, referring to the active ingredient and the pesticide Roundup, which is my favorite. I have a joke. I come out on stage that you remember when I said,

anybody else here? Hope that Nancy Pelosi's been using Roundup in her garden for the last 10 years. And people laugh at it because they watch Fox. Oh, my God. Zeldon advised that if the Congresswoman's cup was filled with

glyphosite, she should not drink it. To which DeLora responded, maybe you should try doing that. Get out of my room, you're sick cunt. Oh my God, he destroyed the poor thing. Hey, people on the left, people who are Democrats and politicians, I'm talking, your professional career policy, you got into the wrong profession. You really suck at it. You really do.

The last good one was probably JFK. I would have said Teddy, but, you know, he kept driving. rounding brads. So we can't throw him in there. But how funny was that? Beat the living fucking snot out of her. See how emotional? Like me. That's why I don't debate.

I'm like her. Ah, fuck it. That's the key. It's funny. I get chill with a heckler because that's what I do for a living. The more excited the heckler game. And it is a pleasure to watch. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Were you there? No, you weren't. Were you in Nashville? The kid had the tiara? No. Oh, that was a good one. The kid's celebrating his 21st birthday. He's got a tiara. That's what I said. He's giving me the finger when I was making fun.

I go, don't give me that finger. Probably get your boyfriend shit on it. That's funny than anything Matt Rife said. I'm kidding. Welcome to Generation Snowflake is the headline here. Boy, times have changed. And when you watch, boy, you realize it. I told Dallas, this is how I know I'm getting old.

when they, there's a million reasons, but here's one. I'm seeing young athletes now signing contracts and I go, will I be around to see when that contract is that? Oh my God. Isn't that fucking weird? Nico Horner wish he had done more. Standing in the bat, what was the name of this story? Oh, yeah.

Generation, welcome Generation Snowfliply. Standing in the bat is box Saturday. the Cubs infielder, that would be Horner, looked stunned after hearing Dodgers catcher, Dalton rushing, call opposing backstop, that means the other catcher. Miguel Amaya,

according to the internet, lip readers, and later confirmed by Horner, he called, so the catcher catching, the other catcher was on first and stole, and this catcher but a Dodgers threw down and didn't get him. And the catcher who threw the ball down,

he goes, he goes, fat fuck. After it, oh, he advanced on a wild pitch. It wasn't a stolen base. The runner advanced on a wild pitch. So this thing went viral because a catcher said fat fuck. Horner's eyes, this is the funny part. The batter's eyes told the story with his eyebrows being raised after the stunning

remark. Only, I don't know if this is AI or a Gen Z kid, right? Stunning remark. you call somebody a fat fuck on the ball field? I got tossed for calling the ump of fat fuck. And he gave me a ride home that night. Mike Smith. He was obese.

He was obese. And he was a good guy. I doubt he's still alive. I could be wrong. Obese. So obese. He got to the game a little late, my little league game. The gate was locked.

somebody locked the fucking gate and he couldn't climb over we had to wait for somebody to get bolt cutters and shit a delay in the game and then he made a bad call on a force out at second

the guy I thought was out I'm playing defense and uh and I said come on Mike you fucking and he goes hey DePaul enough then like two innings later I'm playing third base

some guy blast one for their team, over our left field, his head, but it clearly bounces and goes over the fence. I mean, it bounced like 10 feet in front of it. He thought it was a home run. So I go, Mike, you fat fuck. Can I have a ride? No, he was a good guy, and I knew him.

It was like me calling a friend of fat fuck. I'm just trying to make a point here. It's so shocking. I mean, yeah, was I a punk? Yeah, absolutely, in that situation. But I fucking genuinely, like the guy, you know, and he liked me. But, like, he fed, fuck.

I didn't even argue. No, yeah, get out. Get upstairs. And I did. I went up in the bleachers. And I sat with, was my sister there? Somebody, some family member, a cousin, or, and I sat in the bleachers watching the rest of my game with my uniform one. And whoever I was with left.

And, yeah, I go, Mike, I need a ride because I know he was going to Beverly or whatever. He goes, get in. But listen to it, it gets better, Dallas. When I was in the back seat, because he had all the shit in the front. I sat in the backseat. I grabbed a box of baseballs when I left. It's a true story. Hope Mike's not watching.

I added insult to injury. Okay, here's the video. Watch the catchers, read the catcher's lips. It's funny. I can't hear it. Did he do it? I didn't, I was even watching. he goes, you fat fuck.

Apparently that's, yeah. Well, remember a couple of years ago, a pitcher called somebody the umpire faggot and they tossed him, guy in the Toronto Blue Jays, and then somebody else could toss. Oh, then Jaron Duran for the Red Sox was on a hot mic,

and he goes, fucking faggot. Somebody yelled at him from the stick. And again, oh, that's a big deal. But this wasn't because he just said fat fuck. And the batter said this. I wish that I had confronted him a little more directly. To be honest, I was pretty taken back in the middle of my at bat. Hohner said on Spiegel and Holmes on Tuesday.

It was just kind of strange thing to experience. So, yeah, I felt a little weird. I could have backed my teammate a little better than that. Could I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't? He says, I'm not saying I should have, like, tackle the guy.

Oh, my God. Is this where we're at? Or anything, but still a little taken aback. At the end of the day, you just want to have your teammates back, even if it's a fat one. Isn't that weird, Dallas? I was telling Dallas in sixth grade, I probably told this on the show before. We were playing kill the guy with the ball at recess, and we come in all fucking sweaty, ripped shirts and shit. And Jonathan Katz was one of my Shats, Jonathan Shats, was one of my close friends.

And we're in the classroom. The teacher's not there yet. And I go, hey, Shatch, you're fucking Jew. Sixth grade. That's how we talked in Boston. You Polack, you fucking Guinea, you whop. I go, hey, you fucking Jew. As I say it, my teacher, Mrs. Baker comes in.

And she might have been Jewish, because she had the fucking nose in the voice. Mr. DiPaolo. That language should have been left on the ball field. See? Even she knew you can say shit like that on the ball field. Meanwhile, Jonathan shouts his laughing the ball's off because I get in trouble. They're taking all the fun out of the world. We can't even be hateful anymore.

Finally tonight on your sister's back here, nooky monster. You know, like Cookie Monster? Yeah, this is Nooky Monster. Had to do with sex. You get it? Well, here's a creepy story out of Nebraska. We'll let the local news fellas tell you about it. We want to warn you now. We have some very disturbing details to share with this next story. So it's about 30 seconds long so you could step away in that amount.

How about that? It's just emphasizing what we did in the last story. How about that? Giving you time to step away, the story's about a pedophile. I thought they were going to show an actual rape of the kid on a playground or some shit. Giving you a chance to step away. because we're going to talk about something that adults should be able to sit and watch and talk about. Even with their kids to teach him.

But anyways, go ahead, Sloppy. A registered sex offender is facing charges after allegedly breaking into an Omaha home. You. Taking off his clothes and pinning a sleeping nine-year-old down in his bed. In his bed. And he didn't even call me to help. Can I be happier? Yeah.

Yeah. Who couldn't? Oh, Laverne Scott. Oh my God, black, well, at least he doesn't look guilty. What in God's name? What do you hear is record? Laverne Scott, 65 years old, appeared in court Monday and is charged

with attempted class two felony burglary and failure to register as a sex offender after previous violations. According to Omaha police, listen to once again. Once again, the law not doing its job. officers responded to an apartment near Leavenworth in South 13th Street on Friday around 1 a.m. For a reported burglary and child abuse, police met with residents who said a man later identified

as Scott, had entered the home through an unlocked front door and then took off his clothes before entering a sleeping child's room, which you should always do. We want to be polite. The suspect then got in bed with a child. Can imagine your kid, you wake up in this guy's your bed naked. I'd rather the fucking cobra go up my pant leg and bite my bag. Who woke up and began screaming for a family member. The suspect pinned the child

to the bed and set his legs using his feet as hooks to hold the child in place. You ever seen a grown man naked? A family member entered the room and found Scott standing at the foot of the bed with a bottle of water and a bottle

of lotion. What's this a movie? They escorted Scott out of the home and locked the door. A little late for that. There's something wrong with the black man mine. There's something wrong with it mine. When the family member went to bring Scott's clothes out of the apartment, Scott had left the scene.

He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. Of course you could. One block west, police received calls from residents of an Airbnb. Listen to this, that Scott had entered the home claiming it was his. This is after the break. The residents also removed Scott from the building. Scott was later found by police at a nearby street corner wearing only socks.

On March 30th of 87, listen to this. Scott, also known as Cookie Monster, aka Cookie X, was convicted of first-degree sexual assault. This is back in 87 in Douglas County and later convicted in 1999 of attempted first-degree sexual assault. in Madison County. Scott has been convicted in sentence for violating the registry in 2017. This is the registry he is on, the sex. He violated it in 2017, 2018, 2022, and 2024. What a racist country, huh?

Going after black people doing no crime. As of Friday, he had 2,77 days of noncompliance. He has also previously been convicted of indecent exposure three times, trespassing six times in Nebraska, and numerous times in council bluffs as well. Well, at least he spreads it out. He's inclusive with his black gong.

Oh, my God. At what point did the law, I don't understand. If you or I get pulled over and that's the second time we caught you speeding, your insurance goes through the roof. Next time they'll take your license. This mother, do you see what I'm saying? I really believe that legal system set up to let these creatures, especially now, it's become very obvious in Trump's in office. They let these murderers and rapists after 10 years run free, and they know what they're doing. Don't you think? It's very sad. Can I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't?

Who couldn't? All right, folks. That's about. it. Don't forget cameo.com if you'd like me to send a personal video to a friend or a relative or whoever, you know, doing a little roast on them, or maybe a happy anniversary. I told you, somebody's played one at a goddamn wedding. Fucking walk the room. That's it. You guys think and I'll say it. Very welcome. Hopefully I'll see you back here with more teeth that are real tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. Hi, good night, everybody.