The Nick DiPaolo Show - Common Sense Reigns Supreme | Nick Di Paolo Show #1716

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about Another Trump Win, Real ID, The Dodgers, Golf Violence and more! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the link below, then the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive FOLLOW ME ON TIKTOK! in the show description as well with this URL https://www.tiktok.com/@nickdipaolocomedy MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS -   https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Music playing It's an off-color remark. It's highly inappropriate. How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show. I'm your host, Cicely Tyson. Good to be with you on a The hell is it Tuesday? Tuesday hey check me out on Crowder tomorrow morning and Thursday morning

I'll be in his studio live with him and the fellas always a lot of fun I want to speak of that one apologize for you guys not being able to view the of fun. I want to uh, speaking of that, I want to apologize for you guys not being able to view the last two premium episodes in the Rumble app. The folks at Rumble are working hard behind the scenes to fix some glitch in the app. In the meantime, you can view all premium episodes in any browser. Just go to my Rumble channel on your phone or computer and click on the premium episode and we'll put a link in the show description for you and it'll take you right there. So it's the internet.

It works sometimes. I don't know. Can you imagine if I had Musk sitting next to me? Oh, for Christ's sake, give me the phone. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That must be like living with Sarie. Right? They must count many cups and a gallon.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Right? Check that one out. Because we've only done one show. This week's going to be short pickings. Leave that part out, obviously. Yeah, it's like for the wife or whatever,

it's like living with Siri. Dad, how do you fix a transmission? Anyways, a lot of pressure. I don't know, Red Sox last night, boy, this is so fucking New England, so Boston, so Boston so April was 37 degrees at family I Put the game on I didn't know they hadn't mentioned it I'm like these guys are all bundled up like pussies What's a man? They get ski mat They look like rapists on the basis and I'm going what the hell's going on and then the guy and this was like in the

Middle of the game was 37, so probably dropped a lot, and it was raining a little bit. How many people at the ballpark? 25,000. On a Monday night, a meaningless game, really, in April. What other city is going to have 25,000 people? You could see the players breath. It was like a football game in December.

They had 25 grand show. They're drinking beer and shit. I don't know why. I can't put their politics together with guarantee all those guys don't vote Democrat. Yes, that was a naughty word. Imagine poor Dallas every time I say, I say, you know, I can't even say the F word now. It's gross. Unbelievable. Again, I will go to my grave miserable unless somebody explains to me the defending gay people to that extent where a word and black people turning a word into something that's

so diabolical. It's a game. One of my old producers, Chaz, he's a black dude, great guy, and he goes, we're talking about the N word, he goes, it's just a word. I go, I know. But you ask a jerk off on the left but the history it carries so much what really how about kike is that why is that not as you know I mean come on honky honky come on we've had a good Dallas walked into a fast that was like at the Comedy Cellar table everybody would look at you and go, now crack is a different thing. Honky. I know, we just go, yeah honky. Patrice would go, why are you defending white people? You're not even white. I'm like, thanks

to your great great savage grandmothers and fathers. That's the shit you guys missed on Tough Crowd. All right, let's get right to Trump wins again. This guy, boy, I'll tell you, and somebody made a good point, it's his, unless he somehow weasels into a third, which I hope he does, it'll make the people on the left, their misery. But this is his last term I mean if things go the way they normally go so he I mean first of all he came in totally prepared for

this one with the people who know what they're doing and he doesn't give a fly enough because he's done think about being at his age and do you really think somebody's gonna hurt your feelings at MSNBC? Ooh, the tariffs are tanking every, oh, the panic and the horse shit. The Trump administration will be allowed to resume deporting suspected Venezuelan gang bangers under the 1798 Alien Enemies Act. Wow, this has been going on for a while. After the Supreme Court on Monday lifted a lower court order that blocked the deportations. So Trump wins again.

In a 5-4 decision, the high court ruled that, what, 5-4 decision? So there were four people that said, no, they should be allowed to stay here. Yeah, but they're rapists and pedophiles. Yeah, but whatever, we'll take care of it here. Why? Well, I don't like Trump. I'm not going to agree with anything he does, basically. I don't care about logic and reasoning. I'm just a dick. In a 5-4 decision, the high court ruled that Trump administration was likely to succeed on the merits, that's in quotes, in a lawsuit filed in Washington, D.C. District Court, challenging the removal of five Venezuelan men

under the centuries-old law. The detainees are confined in Texas so venue is improper in the District of Columbia read the conservative majority opinion. The court also determined that anyone the Trump administration is seeking to deport under the Alien Enemies Act must be afforded notice and end quotes within a reasonable time in such a manner as will allow them to actually seek a court hearing in the proper venue. My proper venue would be downtown Tehran and do it the same way if they caught a pedophile in Tehran and you know there'd be a crane there to hang him in public you think I'm kidding no we'll give a trial judge Judy at four

o'clock bring in a couple witnesses and before such removal occurs I wonder if any other country affords rapists and pedophiles that luxury of make sure they get a good fair or whatever okay but we have a picture of him with a knife and you know his girlfriend's throat cut whatever DC District Court Chief Judge James Boasberg here's the rule the pointy of the head the stupid of the person look at this weasel James Boasberg had blocked President Trump from invoking the rarely used wartime law last month and later extended his temporary restraining order until at least April 12th, so.

You smug cocksucker, fuck you. Take it easy. He's just doing his job, trying to bring America down to its knees. He's just doing his job. I wish he won and the people stay in this country whether they jailed him or not and they broke loose and got one of his daughters if he has daughters. I don't look like he doesn't like he looks doesn't look like he likes women so I doubt it. But anyway so there's a win for you. I think they said I'm not sure don't quote me on this that what's her name

she's got three names on all of the Amy calling in Barrett I was she was deciding thing I think right she cited on the I think she cited she didn't side with the lips I don't think my producers looking it up I'll move on picture perfect little picture perfect uh... an airport security measure 20 years in the making I'll repeat that 20 years in the making

because it's follows the federal government will finally put into effect good she actually cited against Trump oh she, she did. There you go. But it's so one sided. It's so conservative. Here's the difference. The conservatives, they can actually put their bias away as opposed to the lefties who you just get fascist with. An airport security measure 20 years in the making

will finally be put into effect next month. By the way, she should be taken out with the men as well. Starting May 7th, fliers in the United States flyers people get on planes not like hey man you want to join BLM get out of here flyers in the United States will not be able to get on a domestic flight unless they have a real ID fuck are you writing a book what a fuck are you right here after years of delays that t s a will begin enforcing the real idea again twenty years in the making which was first introduced when two thousand five

after nine eleven to heighten air travel security and like i've been saying and everybody else who has half a brain it's all aesthetics folks in art that those machines don't shit you remember they tested uh... i think we did this on the show a few years ago at LaGuardia or Kennedy I think was LaGuardia though. They tested them twice, you know, they try to The TSA tested the people work and they had snuck fake bombs and shit in and they were 99% successful so again It makes my skin crawl when I'm

watching them do this to 101 year old white woman in a wheelchair. I mean they don't do that in Israel which is like the safest airport on the planet. Literally they have guys walk around brow-beating you. Same in England I think too. Nice old white guys. You look like I'm, but see it. I get called on a lot. Look at me. When I lived in LA, I would come back from it. It happened twice. I got stopped twice in LAX coming back

when I lived in LA. Two times in a row. I forget what was going on. There was some terrorist threats going on and shit. There was a reason that somebody like me that looks like me would get stuck. And I had envelopes both times of cash, because I got paid in cash at two different clubs. It's something like asking me about the kids. I'm like, I sell weed to your kids. You're a fucksane. Let me go. Anyways, anyone who's planning to fly in the United States in the next few months should do everything they can to get a real ID compliant card by

May 7th. Jesus, you don't give them much of a heads up. Or travel with their passport, even domestically. According to the DHS, that's Danvers High School where I graduated if your state issued ID or driver's license has a star and or a flag Or it says enhanced or there's a picture of Superman beating up a colored kid You You are your real ID? Ready what you are real ID ready, what? You are real ID ready.

I checked mine, I got a star, to board domestic flights and access certain federal facilities. DMVs across the country are reportedly right now swamped with requests for appointments to get a real ID. We've seen reports of limited appointments and longer lines, Hewin said as he ate a sandwich with 40 people waiting him to open his window. People ain't got no time for that. Those without a real ID might have some trouble getting one before the May 7th deadline of course.

Son of a whore! But those lucky enough to get an appointment should be sure to arrive at their DMV prepared. That's a cherry place, the DMV, isn't it? Holy, it makes the TSA people look like mines and clowns and fuck and they just like this is the look you get, you're 11th in line and boy don't they move at lightning speed. That's been true for since I was eight people making jokes about it and really hasn't changed. Thank God I didn't have to go in there much. What am I saying? I'll probably, I don't know, there's probably

some laws I'm not aware of that when you hit like 65. They make you, I don't know, do three cartwheels, which I can't do right now with my friggin' back. It feels better than it did, but when I got up this morning it was, ergh. Anyways. Osteoporosis, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis. That was a commercial when I was a kid. Let's move on to Trump Cracks Up the LA Dodgers. I could have put this second, but I didn't. I wanted to make the show worse. Trump Cracks Up the LA Dodgers.

Trump had the World Series champions from last year, the LA Dodgers, to the White House yesterday and he was in rare form as they say. Not as funny as the Don Rickles thing that I usually pull out when Don, we gotta pull that out again, where he walks down the line and makes fun of all the Dominican, yeah what are you a king in your country? Anyways he cracked them up, this is what I love, these guys are athletes, most of them I guarantee you, even though they're playing in LA, I guarantee you the you know, Midwestern boys, they probably vote, most athletes, well I shouldn't say the NBA's all fucking lefties but check Trump out, he gave a zing zang. This is why people love him, by the way. Him being authentic.

And when he's funny, he's not trying to be funny. It's funny in the context that he's the president and he's in the White House and prim and proper and PC is to the 10th power you've been watching this for 50 years presidents not try to step on anybody's toes and shit and guess what? people don't like that anymore

at least the last election proved that they want somebody even Bill Maher said it recently about he goes they can detect the bullshitter which most politicians he's a bullshitter to trump but he's also genuine i mean you have to be

a salesman uh... you know what what you're negotiating tariffs so you're selling your stakes the best in the world these cows were out here gold teeth whatever but here he is taking a little shot at the Senate there's and watch the Dodgers behind the craggin up Congratulations And others we have a couple of senators here. I just don't particularly like them so I won't introduce Over the course of this amazing season, the members of this team...

I didn't think it was that big a deal, actually. Washington. It is. And people are... And again, most of the comments are positive online on X, but of course there's one guy That's not how a real statesman should act First of all, you're wrong just on that stupid statement, but especially a guy who was shot at They try to put him in jail on trumped up fucking charges.

They call him a Russian spy. They spied on him when he moved in. They impeached him twice. And again, tried to kill him twice. So shut the fuck up if anybody has the right to hurt the senator's feelings. It's this guy. Oh boy, can you hear that, folks? It's not Fat Tuesday, is it? What? You heard

me. But anyways, I just, they love him. The play is a crack in the fuck up. And like a lot of people say online, we don't deserve this guy. He's so fucking great. That's right, folks. You heard it from me. I wonder what my friends are thinking my comedian friends they can catch this show I would debate any of them because they got nothing left even they have to be shaking their heads you see those people protesting with three tits and two teeth and green hair and just fucking loses each and every one of them no talent don't even know what they're yelling about some of them taking checks from Soros It's a beautiful thing

Speaking of that. He's no angel No, it's a great song by one of the Angel Cabrera, do you know who he is? If you're a golf fan, you know, he's pretty legendary actually Believe he's a Mexicano any Hispanic whatever return returned to the masses he's returning to the masters uh... next week here is the way to make them take his coat off the body at a knife on the sixteenth uh... this is when he won the mass

uh... next week uh... so he's he's returned to the masses cuz he won some tournament recently and he's already won at once so you're exempt from all this other bullshit it's but it's part of fury tournament recently and he's already won it once so you're exempt from all this other bullshit. But it sparks a fury among women's groups, usually women who are 5'10", 4'60", hair, lips, ball patches who haven't seen a dick since they were, I don't know, ever. Among women's groups in the wider sporting community after he won the PGA Tour Champions on Monday. That said something about

NFL players too. I didn't understand. What? Anyways, Cabrera, a former Masters and US Open champion, that's pretty damn good. That's a good resume. Was imprisoned. Holy moly, these goddamn Latinos, they can't keep their friggin' temper down., was imprisoned, I can't wait till we get past, I guess we'll always look at these pictures with a mask and then I'll go outside today and see somebody wearing a perfectly healthy kid and want to fracture his vertebrae. Was imprisoned for threats and harassment against two of his ex-girlfriends and they weren't even whores. He was released on parole in August of 2023 and cleared to return to the PGA Tour Champions later that year. Cabrera was sentenced in July 2021 to two years in prison. How come? I guess I'm not that much of a golfer or I

forgot the story. For threats and harassment of Cecilia Torres mana That her How could she hate this guy look at that? Couchie butter His partner that she was his partner this picture kills me look at his face and look at hers Look at this must have been five minutes after a beating Look at that hurt in her eyes and look at him. Right after they snap the picture he chokes her out. Right to the, I mean taps, she taps and he did, fuck that. Oh my god. That was his partner and they asked him about her and the first thing he said was, A, she was a whore. Oh come on. B, she was a whore. Yeah, you don't say that, Cabrera. In November of 2022, he was also on trial for threats and harassment against Michaela

Escudero, another of his ex-girlfriends. Cabrera pleaded guilty. The court made the two sentences concurrent and gave him three years and 10 months in the slammer. He's a badass golfer. I thought John Daly was a badass. This guy's a felon. And they invite him back, which I friggin' love. Sorry. We don't know the full, not that I'm saying yet, but we don't know the full story how crazy these broads were. Women's rights groups are up in their hairy armpits over his return to Augusta.

Jamie Klingler, seen here with the jawline of the Marble Man, look, I mean, how many times do I have to say this these people that these feminists especially the ones that are in organized groups and they're the leaders and shit there is they're pissed at their creator not at the Republicans not a it's just a way to get their voice out to become a Democrat the friggin the friggin woman's movement is it's turned into a cancer over the and I'm not saying not saying, yes, they deserve equal pay and all that. I'm not talking about that. And yes, you don't grab their tits in the coffee room at work unless you're drunk on Christmas.

Then anything goes. But I'm just saying, all that we agree on. But they are just furious because nobody wants that. Well, Dallas goes a couple shots. Jamie Klingler, there she is, co-founder of the Reclaim the Streets. Oh, is that what you made your living, walking the streets? Pressure Group, it's a pressure group. They can have a thing called a pressure group.

Oh, it reminds me, I was watching. Oh, let me do my 20-minute Whatever the fuck hey guys and girls, I'll be doing stand-up April 25th, that's about a couple weeks away almost coho's musical coho's New York and then April. I mean May 15 and 16 Zanies and Rosemont, Illinois. I can't wait to do that one. For all, oh, here's some good news. If you guys, all you folks that love TikTok

and it's a zillion of you, I have great news. It just got better. I finally have an account and we posting content there that isn't on my instagram or facebook page uh... so open tiktok app and before you start scrolling through clips uh... you know some seven-year-old lady falling off a tractor and falling under it getting run over the ones i watch over and over again

uh... go type in at nick depallo comedy and then hit follow and there you go. Also you can watch full episodes of my show, Lauda with a Crowder, and all exclusive Rumble content ad free with one subscription. So join Rumble Premium, enter the promo code Mug Club to get $10 off an annual subscription. Mug Club is one word. Hi, good night everybody. Wow. Wow.

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