The Nick DiPaolo Show - Costumes Causing Culture Clash

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

Fotios Freddy Fears No One. Lemon Lets Loose on White Men. Dem’s Donnelly’s  Dumb Debate.

Thank you. Outro Music Oh yeah, happy Halloween everybody! Welcome to the show, October 31st. Creepy Thanksgiving around the corner. We'll all be dead soon, let's be fucking honest, huh? Let's be honest. Anyways, how you guys doing out there 833-599-6425 833-599-6425 is the phone number a lot of close-ups today all right i'm not wearing this fucking makeup or uh you know there you go hi how are you mama who look we get a couple antifa punks in the fucking house here you go couple why don't you take your fucking glasses off you're a little more threatening jace

i actually really need them a little louder jace again you're like a little girl get on the fucking mic and talk like a man. Oh, you're muffled. A little bit. I actually really need them. Yeah, I know. I'm actually not Antifa. You're not? Who are you, Ryan?

Back up goalie for the fucking Rangers? Yeah, okay. I don't have fucking 20 minutes. Are you dog styling me? Are you fucking dog styling me? Oh, is that? Boy, I'm glad you got to that right at the top of the show. Anyways,

we'll get to Halloween in a second. I wouldn't spend 10 minutes on Halloween normally. Hey guys, I can hear you. The fuck? Do I have to come in there and anti-antifa you pricks? You know, I wouldn't spend Halloween talking about Halloween usually, but since, you know I wouldn't spend Halloween talking about Halloween usually but since you know appropriation and race

and ethnicity and the college campuses just taking the fun out of life you liberal fuckstains is what you're doing I thought this was funny look at this how do black women work the register seriously with these fuckers are?

All white ladies don't want to offend anybody, but black girls have nails that are twice as long and they have the Last Supper painted on them and somebody making a touchdown catch their boyfriend. Look at this. I don't know if you can... It's mustache.

Under it, it says B-I-G-O-T-E. Bogote, which is Spanish for mustache, but it's also bigot. I mean, the fucking irony is thick is that Italian girl's mustache. Bogote. It's got the word, it's the word bigot with an E on it. I mean, life is crazy, isn't it? Crazy as a bag of shit, I'll tell you.

Yeah, so happy Halloween. How do you work these fucking nails? Oh my god. I might give myself a handjob later. Pretend it's the waitress at the fucking Fuddruckers. I mean Applebee's. Sorry. Jesus. Now I'm a cashier. waitress at the fucking Fuddruckers. I mean Applebee's. Sorry. Jesus.

Now I'm a cashier. Now I'm the fucking cafeteria lady. All right. I can't. Ah. Ah. They take your real nails off with them. Like fucking Gorilla Glue.

Okay, I get the hands of Betty White. I can't even pick up the paper. Jesus Christ. I'd have more mobility if I was paralyzed. A follow-up story from yesterday. As you all know, Whitey Bulger, the fucking cold-hearted killer from Boston, was murdered in prison, a West Virginia prison.

And this is a follow-up before I get to the Halloween problems on campus and whatnot. But meet the mob hitman who's suspected of killing Whitey Bulger. See that? My wife and a lot of women would eat him up alive knowing that,

not that he's just, not that only that he's good-looking, but that he's a fucking killer. You know these girls i like a bad boy like what's who somebody what who records a movie illegally on the tv set this motherfucker is a bad boy and he's good looking it pisses me i don't like guys like that handsome not only not only is he gonna beat me up he going to kill me and enjoy it but that is ex-mafia hitman

Fotios Freddy Gies he's suspected of rubbing out Bulger 89 on Tuesday morning, hours after the mob store was transferred to Hazleton Fed Pen in West Virginia and they say law enforcement says, my God, I can't.

I can't. Hold on. Ow! Ow! I feel like Jamal Khashoggi. Ah! My fucking! Ah!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Girls, you don't have to do this for us. Honest to Christ, I wouldn't make anybody. This is some sexist... Hold on. Oh my God, the actual nails are coming off. Imagine that hurts that much and these are fake nails. Can you imagine some Saudi prince ripping your fingernails out one at a time?

The dirty fucking Arabs. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah, hold on. Ah, anyways, Jesus. Don't ever do that for men. Anyways, he's a rich man now.

He'll run any prison he's in, a law enforcement source told MassLive.com, Geese 51 is serving a life sentence at Hazleton for the 2003 murders of one-time mob boss El Dolfo Big El Bruno. I wouldn't even fucking fight that guy just because of his name. And associate Gary Westerman. I remember reading about this in a book. The former West Springfield, Massachusetts resident has not disputed his role in the death of Bulger. A law enforcement source said the wheelchair-bound Bulger

was badly beaten. It would be funny if he wasn't badly beaten. He actually got some shots in. He's in a wheelchair and he's 89. Beaten by a group of inmates, including one who used a padlock wrapped in a sock. You really need to use a padlock on an 89-year-old guy in a wheelchair?

That's how tough fucking Whitey Bulger is. Geese has an open hatred for rats, making Bulger a prime target because he was ratted on once, so he really fucking hates rats fucking rat anyways whole family's all rats would have loved to be a rat he's got a great disdain for informants daniel kelly a lawyer who represented both geese and his younger brother ty geese in several criminal cases freddie is a dying breed added kelly i would actually say whitey is the dying breed

geese has led a life of crime with a rap sheet dating back to his teens. He and his brother Ty were convicted of killing Bruno Genovese at Capo Cowboy Style in 2003. What does that mean? They brought him to Outback and got him a nice... What the... Some nice... A blooming onion and a...

Gies hired the hitman in bruno's murder but shot westerman twice in the head himself after luring him to a home in agawam for a purported home invasion the geese brothers served as hitmen for anthony irulata who became a made man in the mafia 2003 but then flipped by becoming an fbi informant after he and the two men were charged in Bruno's murder. Arilotta wound up serving 99 months in exchange for his testimony against the brothers and others and has since entered the witness protection

program and he just said, look, I just want to go, I am nasally, I want to go where it's nice and uh, Gies wasn't swayed one bit by Arilotta's cooperation, despite knowing he was facing a life sentence freddy is a man's man the attorney said and that's what women love really let's be honest my wife my wife dated uh a bunch of mafiosos when she was real young in the bronx

and uh i got what how did you end up on me fucking with with me? I mean, I get busted for U-turn. I almost started crying a couple weeks ago. You got the wrong gindalone. Fucking Ryan stretching his neck. He's just like a kid. You really have no attention span. Ryan is like a fucking seven-year-old with Chuck E. Cheese on his birthday. He's just a...

But he's handsome as hell. He's got my shirt on, my neck. Put your fucking outfit back on. Will you put, put the other one on? I like the punky face. His attorney said, yeah,

Freddie's a man's man. F the Anthony are a lot of flip. There was a back channel for Freddie to try to persuade him to cooperate too. He didn't even blink an eye. He didn't flinch. He just said, no. It reminds me of a, uh, in the Gotti movie didn't flinch. He just said no. Reminds me of a

Nagati movie in the 80s. He just said, these guys that don't a thousand years, they don't roll over for nobody. This is not the clip from Gaudi. It's a different clip from Gaudi. Don't you ever fucking believe that anyone anyone

anywhere looks like me. He's going to fuck with us. That was Belichick talking to his defense at halftime. That's the fucking movie. Okay? You want John Travolta playing Gotti? He'd look more

manly dressed up like this. Don't you ever, ever believe anybody's going to fuck with you. Now drive home safely. believe me when I tell you that's the most dangerous part of your day Gaudi movie in the 1980s

on HBO google it get it you'll fucking eat Armin Asante was tremendous fucking Travolta playing Gaudi

what Nathan Lane Nathan Lane gonna play fucking who they gonna have Nathan Lane? Nathan Lane going to play fucking... Who are they going to have Nathan Lane playing? I can't even think of a mafioso. Michael Colioni. Let's get to the Halloween nonsense, shall we? Listen to

this. What's that? Say that again, please. Quit whispering. Are they related to what I'm talking about? Okay, go ahead. Give me it i i we're gonna get rid of this because i don't need the six bucks but go ahead all right so we got oh we actually got like three at once oh my god good so we got justin g yeah glad and kellogg's indoctrinate kids now you have to read the bustle article live insanity both from Justin G what am I supposed to do with it I don't know we got Mike Rossi again he was on last week I need to know if Nick stood in front of his bathroom

mirror applying that mascara no I didn't I had your sister do it she stayed over last night you fuck stain what a visual all right I'm kidding no I didn't do this well how would I I didn't do this. How would I know how to do this? Come on. You're impugning my masculinity. So am I. Good point, Mr. Rossi.

Go ahead. I did it for him. Good. Bunny Galore, I am crying laughing. You could do the view, Nick. I look like Joy Behar's fucking life partner. Mama, I don't want to die. life partner. Mama! Ooh!

I don't want to die! But sometime wish I'd never been born. Ed Crotty, that goes out to you. Anyways, let's get to the college. This is a controversial time, Halloween, for colleges since they've been indoctrinated with this PC faggotry,

I like to call it. Michigan State University, they might be the most politically correct campus in the country. I swear to God. Listen to this. MSU flowchart helps students decide if costumes are racist. Oh, my aching stem. This is how this makes me feel. You've got to get mad.

You've got to say, I'm a human being. God damn it. My life has value. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. Dorms at Michigan State University featured a flow chart, which I have one for my wife when she's having that time of the week. It's over my bed. It's a pie chart, which prompts students could use to determine whether or not the Halloween costume was fucking racist.

Imagine we're at that point in this country. Do you understand the rest of the world's probably enjoying, well, Western Europe probably has the same jerk-off rules, but MSU inclusion. Listen, I want you guys to take note of the titles of some of the agencies and some of the offices that they have on campus at MSU. MSU Inclusion and Intercultural Initiatives Director, Paulette Russell, who should be shot in front of her kids, said that the posters are meant to help students, but acknowledge that the students have the right lesbian fucking cowboy costume or whatever. An RA told Campus Reform that his department, this RA's good, his department asked him to address cultural appropriation with his residents, but that he did not want to send an email

pertaining to the subject. Good for you, RA, whoever you are. A Michigan State University department debuted Halloween posters titled a culture is not a costume it included a guide called is your halloween costume racist i don't know what fuck face is asking me and why is it any of your business it's not funny unless it is racist how about that new fucking rule as bill maher would say you can't wear it if i had kids if i had a kid in fifth grade and they would have a Halloween party in their class,

I would send them dressed as a pregnant Native American with a hatchet in her neck while she's stabbing a baby seal that's smoking. Oh my God. George Lopez is now working the phones in there.

Get a shot of a... Hi, George. How are you? What the? That's racist. That's some racist shit. Listen to this. Another agency on MSU,

MSU's Residence Hospitality and Services, what is it, the Red Roof Inn, department featured the signs, which included a heavily detailed cultural appropriation versus appreciation section, as spotted by Campus Reform. The boards are found throughout many of the university's dorms. One poster brands the addition of a sombrero,

cut back to my boy, an addition of a sombrero to a taco costume is racist. So you're telling me you can dress as a taco, and that's fine, but you throw a sombrero, that makes it racist? Oh, I guess because everybody loves tacos. So if you dress as a meatball,

you'd be fine unless you dumped a pint of tomato sauce over your head or you dressed as a tampon, but if you put the string on it, that's fucking racist. I mean, who's making this shit up? Seriously, mentally ill, left-wing progressive cum guzzlers. That's my guess. The poster contains a flow chart which asks students whether their costumes use blackface, swastikas,

or have literally a name of a minority that you are not in the... So, I want to make a point here. Those are the rules. So in other words, blackface, swastikas, or a name of a minority. So in other words, the rules are only for white

people. Only white people can be racist at MSU. Are you fucking dog-styling me? Jesus fucking Christ. Blackface, only a white person will put the, a black person's not going to put on blackface. Swastik is, of course, you know, if a Jew or a black put on a swastik, nobody's going to get in trouble. At one point, the poster suggested if students are still asking yourself the question, is the costume racist, they should not wear it. No, no, no. In my rules, if you're asking yourself, is this racist, that means thumbs up, get out there.

Oh, my God. If I had the money, I'd move the fuck out of this country I don't know where I'd go maybe Switzerland a lot of white people out there just teasing fucking flow chart a space that is so diverse

tensions arise when certain things happen we're talking about a college campus through costumes MSU and listen to this arise when certain things happen. We're talking about a college campus. Through costumes. Listen to this. Another title. MSU Inclusion and Intercultural Initiatives Director, Paulette Russell. Oh, we mentioned her before. The poster is to help students in residence halls

understand why certain depictions might be offensive. And if someone takes offense, they have a reason. That's not your call, Paulette. What kind of wet fucking rag are you? You must have been a blast in high school at parties. Why would you take on this job? I'm guessing you might be a minority. I don't know that. You could be a white liberal woman. Either way, go hang yourself, please. Please hang yourself and have your kids videotape it so I can make it go fucking viral.

I like to call you the C word. You know what that is? Cancer. You are a cancer to everything we find fucking near and dear in the United States. But Russell, when asked about possible consequences for students who violate statements on the bulletin board, suggested

that wearing any given costume certainly is the student's right. Well, thanks for, you know, fucking clearing that up, Pollack. Donna Kapilowicz, MSU's Faculty Associate of the Intercultural Dialogues Program. That is what, the third title? The third title that's so steeped in PC? Did you see how fucked up? We actually are mentally ill in this country when it comes to the issue

of race. We are mentally ill thanks to progressives and left wing white guilty self-hating white jerk-offs who have ingested this shit and actually believe it's their fault. Oh my aching stem. Somebody put a bullet in the behind my left ear please.

She presumed the boards are not instructing, not what should be worn, but educating in how certain costumes are perceived by others. Did you ever think the people that were smart enough to get into your college don't need to be educated on what their costume and how it's going to affect other people?

You ever think of that? You pompous, arrogant, fucking know-it-all, fucking government is good bullshit eating titless wonder you. God fucking Jesus H. A 2017-2018 event schedule shows that the university held M.R.U.L., which stands for Multiracial Unity Living Experience. There's the fifth phrase of PC bullshit. Cultural appropriation in Halloween event.

In cultural appropriation campaign within the campus resident halls. Oh, I would love to take you people out and just fucking, I don't know, somebody make something up funny, please, how did you guys survive at your age, honest to God, growing up in a world like this, Halloween was so goddamn fun for me in the early 1800s. I used to make my own buttercream and then put it in a... Goddamn it, I was going to do a gag. I was going to have an apple out of him, be putting a razor blade in him when he opened the show. Which reminds me of a great joke, the greatest Halloween joke ever by Harlan Williams, a very funny comedian. He goes, I loved Halloween as a kid, but I grew up in a rich Beverly Hills neighborhood. Somebody put a razor in my apple.

It was electric. I don't care if that's a rim shot or not. It's a great goddamn joke, and please don't judge the jokes. Let's go talk to Jaden in Oakland, talking about the border. As you know, Trump is moving the military down there and we have the pictures to prove it. Say hello to Hillary Clinton, by the way. Our first live guest.

Look at her. Just look at her. Jaden, what's up? I was up playing. You look like Sue Johnson from that sex show on that public Public access show on Sundays homie that old lady from Vancouver

Good I agree with you on all that politically correct costume bullshit. Yeah, I'm gonna be a Somali pirate smaller powerful Halloween with a butterscotch dashiki and an inflatable AR-15. And I want to give a shout-out to my homeboy, Tom Likas, out there. Tom, I know you out there, homie. And I want to tell you that the only problem I have with AR-15s is they cost too goddamn much, and I can never afford them. That's the only issue I have. Yep. And the Mexicans are coming over to that California border

and they're going to make America great again. And all you white Caucasians out there, cockamamie fools acting spurious, that white people drinking wine it's because that mexicans making you that wine in napa valley i can't go to napa because napa gives me allergies it's like vegas out there all women all the women all that women in napa want to fuck but i get allergies on running nose so i can never fucking napa and that's right jen and when a black guy gets a running nose and nick how do you know he's black well his name's jayden he's from oakland and i i so I can never fucking apple. All right, Jed. And when a black guy gets a runny nose, and Nick, how do you know he's black?

Well, his name's Jaden. He's from Oakland, and I sense a dialect. That's how. And they always have to get it whitey. Don't they have to dig it whitey? He is upset because these illegals pouring over. They do compete with guys like Jaden

with an IQ of 11 trying to get jobs at Wendy's, and the Mexicans take over because they'll work uh circles around you all right let's go to riley in missouri wants to talk about the topic we are on which is halloween riley what up hey what's going on nick not too much that was the fourth worst black impression i've heard this week yeah i think that might have been an impression i I'm not sure, but yeah, I think you might be right. Well, you know, putting all these rules out there like that, it's like fucking reverse footloose. It's just like the Christians telling people they can't have dances

and we can have fun, but we got to have rules. You know, you got to, you can have fun if you follow these guidelines and then I mean fuck all that shit I know but go out and have a good time Riley right and just like how we when I'm Riley is that really the best and most relevant example you can go back to Christians telling people not no hands no not at all that's that's all that's the first thing that came to my mind is That's how cartoonish it is. That's how fucking... Yeah, it is.

That shit only happened in a town, a population of 500, but now it's happening on a college campus with a population of 10,000. That's true. But, you know, here's how we went as a kid. If you fucked up, you got punched in the face. And then the next day, you know, everything was fine. So go out there, wear you fucked up, you got punched in the face. And then the next day, everything was fine. So go out there, wear whatever you want. You get punched in the face.

Probably took it a little too far. If not, have a good time and get a blowjob. There you go. Thank you, Riley, which reminded me of a great Halloween story. True story. In the 80s, me and my buddy Tony, who's now a successful eye doctor, went to Stitch's Comedy Club where I did my first set ever. And this was after I started doing comedy for a while.

They weren't doing comedy. Well, yeah, they had a Halloween show. And the audience dressed up in their costumes. Me and Tony picked up two girls dressed like pandas. They had the white makeup and the black eyes. And we brought them home and actually had sex with them. Me and Tony picked up two girls dressed like pandas. They had the white makeup and the black eyes. And we brought them home and actually had sex with them. And everything was fine.

We were high-fiving each other and shit. And then the next morning, they showered at our apartment. And they came out and they were both four and a halfs. Oh, my God. It was fucking, we were going, what the fuck? I mean, we had reputations. We were seeing pretty girls. And we're going, Jesus Christ, they were dressed like pandas. And what's funny is when they took the makeup off, they were scarier than the fucking actual costumes.

That was my favorite Halloween ever. Me and him were in a bedroom laughing. They heard us, too. One of them heard us say, oh my God. And they were nice about it. They both left crying. But anyways, I made him a grilled cheese, made him split it. That's the way I was. Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come,

thy will be done. The Red Sox parade. Anyways, didn't even bring it up, but by the way, thousands upon thousands, duck boats today celebrating. Didn't even bring it up. Just brought it up now. What? What's that? Good. I can't hear you, brother.

Talk into the mic and press the fucking button, you retard. I got some super chats. There you go, fuckface. All right. Chris Kaufman Jr. Doesn't everyone know the more quiet things become, the more tensions go up? By the way, political correctness is a communist concept invented by Chairman Mao. That's true.

And let me say what Mr. Mao said when he was talking about political correctness. He went, Hold on! I'm going to comment, you cheese eater! Fucking A. What was his first comment, Ryan? Doesn't everyone know the more quiet things become

the more tensions go up that is an excellent point by the way that's why everybody loved Tuffcrow it's true the more you suppress the more you suppress speech which only one party is doing by the way the more the tension rises whether it's gender related race related

when you bust balls about it when you're around your friends and I assume you have black friends or whatever, mixed, and you bust balls, it's a total different thing. Like, that's why me and Patrice had such a great relationship, and Patrice and Colin and Jimmy Norton and stuff. We would say shit that would get us arrested today.

And fucking Patrice would laugh at it. He'd say shit about white people that would get him stabbed and fucking salty. And we would laugh. And it really is. Fuck music, okay? Music is, let's hold hands and teach the world to sing and bring the world together. That's supposedly music's spirit.

That doesn't do it. It's comedy. It's saying ugly shit. It's showing the ugly side of you, but the honest side of you. When you say something racist or construed as racist on stage, there are some people appreciate it and go, you know what? He's showing warts and all,

but he's a human being. Anyways. Got some more? Go ahead. Mike Rossi, I can't believe you finally put someone... Hey, hold on, hold on. Ryan, how do you spell Rossi? R-O-S-S-I.

Yeah. Where did you grow up? In fucking Dublin? How about Mike Rossi? Okay, okay. Mike Rossi. Did you go to college? I did.

Where'd you go? Oneonta. Communications. Communications. Woo! Go ahead. Plink. Okay. Yes. answer communications go ahead okay yes I can't believe you finally put someone in that seat next to you but Hillary really well

you gotta understand I live up in the fucking woods what do you think people are gonna fly in on helicopters I'm on a compound here it looks just like Lake Tahoe but yes that's Hillary. After Bill came home with the stink of a fucking IHOP, a waitress on his thumbs. Go ahead, next.

Patrick Doerr, I'm going to trick-or-treating as a feminist, which is why I have a patch of brown shag carpeting from a VW van between my two front teeth. Kind of funny. Not a bad effort there, fella. It's hard to eat a Twix, though, when you have pubes in your teeth i've tried that many times he also says nick what are you the album covered a transformer yes i don't know what that means neither do i no way transform is

a great album is that a loot that's fucking low rate isn't it? Am I wrong? I don't know. It is, right? That's actually a good joke. Lou Reed, one of my favorites. Lou Reed, rock and roll animal, live album, is my favorite album of all time. Anyways, that's when I used to shoot heroin between my nipples. Back to the show. Is there any more? Mike Rossi just threw in another one.

Thank you, Nick. I cringed every time they said my name. Nick Rossi. Fucking Rossi. Oh my God. Great college education. Money well spent. I look like a dyke from Sicily, let's be honest. I'm on to the book. Yeah. I like a side order of puss with some

ziti. Look at the Antifa guy laughing behind his fucking faggy mask oh anyways uh you guys hang on i'm gonna go on to the next article we're gonna spend uh some time on halloween here again because it's where the uh political cultural it's turned into a fucking joke here we go good why. Why can I hear Ryan? Oh my God. It's like his first day here.

Thanks, Jason. Good housekeeping compiled the list of 15 problematic costumes, not including mine. How are you? Who wants a blow job out there? I say that. Can somebody freshen up my lipstick? Now it looks like my regular lip.

You know what I look like? Those photographs my dad did in the 50s. You know these, the colorized, the black and white photograph they put like... My dad's marine pictures makes them look like this. You know what I mean? The pink cheeks and shit. You probably know, Jace. This is what my dad looked like as a private.

Okay, here we go the five most triggering Halloween costumes of 2018 good housekeeping female magazine by the way compile the list of 15 problematic Nick are you just saying that women do house, yeah that is what I'm saying

if you don't like it lick my left nut compile the list of 15 problematic costumes that they say are not funny and should never ever be worn. A few of the costumes on their list really are wildly inappropriate and not funny, like the Burning Twin Towers costume, the

Anne Frank costume, anything involving blackface, which I disagree is hilarious, and of course anything depicting human genitalia, which I disagree with. I mean, I knocked on doors in seventh grade, I had a hog,

a dildo stuck to my forehead, and people falling out of their house laughing. Also, dressing up as a dead celebrity zombie is apparently a thing, and that is gross and very wrong. It's a total bullshit.

However, most of the costumes that made their list, while arguably in poor taste, are really in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, that's the point. What makes them problematic is they might offend people who love to be offended,

which is why the list of costumes to avoid grows every year and the list of permissible costumes gets smaller. Well, the point is to offend the people that get easily offended, is my point. For instance, the costume police say it's wrong

to dress up like a hobo, which has been a Halloween favorite since the 1811s. For decades, that made our list because it makes fun of the homeless. No, it doesn't. A hobo has a home, by the way. You it is it's a boxcar train am i right kids you are correct sir who hasn't made a fun of homeless my first 20 minutes in comedy are on homeless people people ate it up new york city the city that never sleeps that's what they called it city that never sleeps what That's what they called it. City that never sleeps.

What, are you shitting me? How come everywhere I look, there's somebody passed out in their own urine? City's exhausted is where I'm from. There's more to the joke. I can't even remember it. Okay, here's the top five lists of supposedly Halloween costumes

that'll trigger people. Crazy psycho. Crazy psycho crazy psycho in a straight jacket. How is that even fucking offensive, huh? You're fucking crazy.

No wearing a straight jacket as well as any other equipment typically associated with institutionalization of someone with a mental illness trivializes how devastating these conditions can be good housekeeping says i'll repeat this and i've said this before folks you've heard me say it's my theory and it's dead on like everything else i say political correctness is based in what? Over sensitivity. Who's apt to be more sensitive, a man or a woman? And whose DNA are you more apt to find the sensitivity gene?

I think this is a good... Women. And the more feminine... And I'm not blaming these politically correct guys now, because they've grown up with this shit, but it's not in their DNA. They are a product of their environment. It seeped into their brains. But women, and thank God they are,

are a little more sensitive than men, naturally. Oh, what a sexist remark. Fuck off. So, again, these are from women. This is from, what's the magazine, Jason? Homekeeping House. What is it? Good Housekeeping. Good Housekeeping. Costume number two that'll send people crazy.

Cultural stereotypes. Aye, aye, aye, aye. I am the Frito Bunchito. Hey, I like Fritos Corn Chips. I love them, I do. I want Fritos Corn Chips. I'll get them from you. I, I, I, I.

Oh, I am the Frito Bambino. I know what you did. You're a damn pedophile. All right, just get the hell out of here. Costume. When somebody dresses up as a member of a culture, that isn't their own, particularly in an exaggerated or humorous way. It can be hurtful to those who do belong.

Good housekeeping skulls. Even if it's a beloved Disney character. And then it says, hint, Moana. I don't even know what that means. I wrote Disney off in the fourth grade. Me and my brother would go to school. Everybody was talking about the wonderful world of Walt Disney. Every Sunday night they had a movie or whatever.

And me and my brother would be talking about a hockey brawl between the Bruins and Canadians. Number three. This is a costume that has set people off. Body shaming and objectifying costume. Do we have a picture of these Jays? There you go. Body is fucking...

Since when are these not funny? Inflatable adult sumo fat man bodysuit wrestler costume blow up fancy. $42.89. When it comes to disrespecting women, this is what it says in the article. This costume is a double whammy of awful. It not only reduces

women to sex objects, but it makes a woman's weight into a joke. Three fat broads walk into a bar. One of them orders heavy cream. The other pretzels the other a pot roast uh good housekeeping explains in the age of body positivity what the fuck is that i'm positive i have a shitty body is that what they mean uh haven't we grown past this yet the answer is no people with a sense of humor and don't have the skin like fucking rice paper can

laugh at their fat, ugly bodies, and they should be shamed. They should stay in their house and be ashamed of their hips on prom night. Nick, what kind of talk is that? I don't know. I'll tell you what kind of talk it is. You've got to get mad. You got to say i'm a human being god damn it my life has value uh terrorist halloween costume that's that's a apparently when it sets people crazy the Whether it's a member of ISIS or someone who's committed a horrifying mass shooting, we can all agree that it is 100% a bad idea to dress up as a terrorist. I love how we can all agree.

Do you hear the pompous in the air? We can all agree. Don't speak for me, you fucking thin-skinned bitches. I'd love to see a fucking four-year-old. Matter of fact, if I ever have kids, probably too late, I would have

my kid christened in an Osama bin Laden suit, splashing water on his forehead. We can all agree, you don't find the same thing funny as I do. Shut the fuck up. You're the woman who walks out of my show eight minutes in

because you thought Nick must laugh at the same shit as I do. There's nothing funnier than a kid dressed like a terrorist. I got my niece a fucking belt of dynamite and a rocket grenade, shoulder rocket grenade launcher, and she fucking adored it. Oh, God. Oh, and number five, the costume that you should not do, and it's the transphobic costume, ladies and gentlemen.

I love gay people, by the way, but I think they would laugh at the shit. I mean, isn't that what Halloween's turned into? Go down to the village in New York City on Halloween night. You won't find a straight person there. Who the fuck is that? Is that the transfer? That's supposed to offend? I'm offended by the fucking pattern on that dress.

That's the most offensive thing about that. I think Ryan would agree. Listen. Back by popular demand, Walmart sells offensive tranny granny costume. This tranny granny costume was pulled from Walmart after facing backlash

from 100 broads who look like fucking Rosie O'Donnell in a three-point stance in the parking lot. From consumers who pointed out that it mocks

and satirizes transgender women. In addition to using a transphobic slur, good housekeeping says, meaning, you know, the phrase tranny. You gonna tell me Mrs. Doubtfire wasn't a four-star movie? Please, get off my back.

Can we have some fun? Look at the rack on that fella. What's offensive is he's holding a broom and shit. That would get me, whether I'm straight, transgender, bi. That's the most offensive part. Ryan in Dallas wants to talk about what cultural appropriate, what that means. That's a good question, Ryan.

What's it mean to you? First of all, you fucking killed when you came to Dallas. That's a good question, Ryan. What's it mean to you? First of all, you fucking killed when you came to Dallas. That was the best show I've ever seen. I got a standing ovation. I got a step

from half the audience. I know I wasn't that big on it, but I got half the audience stood up. All 12 of us love that shit. Oh, now you're rolling that shit,

and I should hang up on you, but go ahead. So, I'm 30, I'm 35. Three years ago, I never even heard of this term uh cultural appropriation you know um i have a few points that i want to go over whoa ryan you don't have time to do a few points you can make one good point go ahead i have 11 call okay i want to make one good point i want to make one point i've seen uh in the past

that they say white people can't have braids in their hair. That's cultural appropriation. How about white people invented everything? You can't have a car. You can't have a cell phone. You can't have anything. You can take your tacos and your fucking braids and go home. Oh, my goodness gracious.

Ryan. How about that? Letting it fly, Ryan. How about that? Well, you got me heated up. I did. You got me heated. I'm glad.

That's what this show is supposed to do. Thanks for out buddy to uh dallas i appreciate that but no he actually makes a legitimate point you know i i've made it you know years ago but uh what if we did uh say to all the other people that are different and non-white hey you can't what are you doing you can't go to the moon and nothing to do with that you can't. What are you doing? You can't go to the moon. It had nothing to do with that. You can't. Although the traffic light was invented by a black guy. But then what's the traffic light used for? Carjackings in urban cities.

Oh, Nick, for the love of Christ. And peanut butter. Carver. He was a person of color and ran a 4-5-40. He was a person of color and ran a 4-5-40. But seriously, you guys, do you understand? White guys invented the idea of the United States, and anybody who isn't white that's come over, you're appropriating. And I know you're going to say, well, you guys appropriated the Indians.

We showed that. We appropriated the shit out of the Indians. Liz Warren's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother was raped by two of John Adams' cousins. Oh, that was a dream I had. Let's go to Justin in Toronto, maybe the most politically correct city I've ever performed in I don't know what's happened the the idiocy from the United States has spread northwards Justin what's going on Justin hey Nick how's

it going about pretty good pal my name is not Ryan I don't have 20 points I just have one and that's it okay no my my uh question is i'm sort of in the center of this whole thing the whole pc like the outrage on the left even some of the outrage on the right and stuff like that but kind of how i see this whole costume stuff is i sort of related to the kid that you saw in high school that had like the metallica t-shirt on that didn't really know as to like you know i didn't know any metallica songs or albums worn around to be cool and stuff like that so when i see somebody in like a headdress or something with an arrow through their head and they're sort of like check this out yeah for me

how i sort of see that is i'm like hey like if they had like an idea as to the history and what happened and all that sort of stuff i would sort of like respect them more and kind of give them like the nod of like, all right, you could wear that. Like, I disagree with you, but you know, it's like, all right, you could wear that. Did you sort of know what's going on? What's the difference? So what if he doesn't, so what if he doesn't know what's going on? Well, I don't know. For me, it just sort of seems like, like, you, you know,

you're just doing it for like a lowbrow yuck you know what i mean it's sort of like oh like an arrow through the head huh huh you know but for me i i'm just like i'm not offended by what like whatsoever and i think you are passed by like man no no man i got i got no time in the world to be offended by stuff dude so i would think all right just i don't understand your logic, though. If somebody knew the history of it, if you're talking about Indians, that would make it more offensive. Well, yeah.

Right? Is that what you're saying? That's sort of my whole point. It's just sort of like, hey, if you sort of know what's going on, it's like, and then, hey, you know what? If you want to side on the right side where you don't think it's a a big deal if you side on the other side where you think it is a big deal That's cool. You know, I'm not one to judge but it's more so I kind of

viewed as that guy and I'd like the concert who buys all the merch and Walking around like I'm a fan. I check this out the love but really there's no like substance to it So that's what a rise and being from a guy right, you guy up north in Canada who's polite and on the left. All right, Justin. I'm a huge fan of your comedy and all that stuff. I disagree with you sometimes, but I think that's what conversations are all about at the end of the day, right? That's right, Justin. Good call.

Thank you. What, I can't wear a fucking KISS t-shirt because I don't know how to play bass? You can be a casual fan of something and I'm a fan of both. The point is, fucking mind

your business. Even if the guy doesn't know the history of Native America, I don't give a shit. The point is, he has the right to wear without you fucking whining is my point. I think you would be more offended if the guy knew the history.

Even that, I see what he's saying. He takes that as a positive. In other words, I know what the Indians went through and fuck you anyways. I guess that's a positive, but that's you being more mean.

I don't know. I couldn't find it, but I love the Toronto Maple Leafs. Austin Matthews is out for like a month, by the way. Ah, mm-hmm. I have flow charts. I made some flow charts of what might be appropriate and not.

Where do I hold these up to? One. Like do I hold these up to? One. Like, I mean, you know, racist? Well, yeah, Asian people are considered, yeah, but I mean, come on, look, it's a happy, could be an emoji, a smiley fucking,

but the Asians are upset about the emoji, but I'm like, you invented the fucking thing. And look, that's the same thing. He he's pissed off and you don't see many pissed off asians unless they get a d in math and they never do now this one somebody might have a problem with i don't know i i've been drawing this on chalkboards and my school books since i was uh seven years old. I find that very, very funny. That could be an Asian guy or that could be me with the flu

sitting on the toilet constipated. I mean, you know, it's all in the eye of the beholder. I mean, nobody's more sensitive than brown people, but that's because of white liberal jerk-offs. I mean, you know, it's a nice person of color.

Maybe an Al Roker type. And then it gets a little more offensive. You know, that could be Marshawn Lynch run through a motherfucker face. Then, you know, I mean, there's different,

there's different. Now, my niece drew this. I sent her to summer camp in Tennessee, and some people call it a compound. Now, to me, this, this is a little over the line. I mean, that could be Ted Danson, fucker of Whoopi Goldberg. Or, you know.

What? I just noticed what this woman was holding. I have a problem with that. That's ridiculous. The characteristics are good, but I mean, come on. A fucking spear? That's over the top, is it not?

We have that shot working again, by the way. What shot? Oh, that? Yeah. We haven't had time to color adjust, but it looks Halloween-ish, so... Yeah, that's kind of good. Bring some color to Hillary in the corner.

How about the picture of Bill Maher? Remember after the crocodile guy, Steve Irwin, died a couple months, Bill Maher? That's what he went. You know what? Fucking laughed my balls off. Now people will go, really? A couple months? Too soon?

Again, these are the PC people that ruin comedy. Too soon? Too soon? So if he waited the PC people that ruin comedy. Too soon? So if you waited six months, is the guy less dead then? Is that how it works in your fucking mind? You cheese-eating cum-guzzlers, you? That's funny, in my opinion. It doesn't even look like...

You wouldn't even know what that was unless somebody explained it to you. It looks like he gets stabbed with a straw at Denny's. I mean, how the fuck is... It doesn't even look like... You wouldn't even know what that was unless somebody explained it to you. Looks like he gets stabbed with a straw at Denny's. I mean, how the fuck is... Speaking of Billy Maher, him and Michael Moore, guess what? They got possible bomb scares. There was a scare in Hollywood on Monday when a suspicious package addressed to Bill Maher

was reported to authorities in the powerhouse management firm that reps the comic had to evacuate its offices. Sources told Page Six that Brillstein Entertainment... Let me tell you about Brillstein. What was his first name? Bernie Brillstein. He came out to see me at Stand Up New York

when I first came to New York. I had a little bit of heat on me. Things were going good. I did a showcase with some other comics at Stand Up New York. During my set, and I was murdering, and I never murder in that club. I don't know why.

It's on the Upper West Side. They hate me. But I was killing that night. Bernie Brillstein is sitting in the back. He had a white beard like Santa Claus. As the place is laughing and he's laughing, he leans back and falls out of his fucking chair.

So I'm up there going, I'm going to get a movie deal. I just knocked Bernie Brillstein out of his fucking seat. He came up after and told me I laughed so hard I fell out of my seat. Nothing. Actually, not long after that, they wanted to sign me but it was right during the

what was the when the black comedy thing became deaf comedy jam and I didn't want to sign with them because I would have been they had 11 huge black acts so I went with David and Christine Martin and here I am doing a show for my basement

but you know kids sources Christine Martin, and here I am doing a show for my basement. But you know, kids! Sources, uh, told Paychex Brill Stadium team, which reps Marr, had been warned by authorities that Marr's name was on a list of potential targets by alleged mail bomber Cesar Sayoc. Let me say something about Sayoc.

Fucking crazy idiot moron, but he had great taste in who he scared. Can I say that without being a jackass? The FBI contacted Brillstein. A source said they were already on alert when a suspicious package did arrive addressed tomorrow and Monday. The firm contacted the FBI.

Staff was evacuated for 90 minutes. I know right where the building is, right on Wilshire Boulevard. I've been around, I'll tell you. It luckily turned out to be a false alarm. It didn't turn out to be anything. So why are we talking about it? Oh, because it was Bill Maher.

A source told us that Maher incident was one of three or four suspicious packages, reports called into L.A. authorities on Monday. Sources told us that the police also visited the home and office of Michael Moore on Monday in Traverse City, Michigan. Nothing was found there. More other than a whole bunch of fucking butter cookies, a box of Malamars, and seven pounds of Gouda. Moore revealed this week

that he caught Sayoc on film at a Trump rally while making his documentary Fahrenheit 11.9, but said the footage didn't make it into the finished film. He released the clip online. Ugh.

A photo of Moore superimposed with a target was plastered on Sayoc's van. Like I said, he had great taste. Only person to be targeting Michael Moore is Jenny fucking Craig. Am I right? Get out of here. Moore spoke about the bomber on his show Friday and slammed Trump by saying of the president's tweet blaming mainstream media. That sounds like he's not condemning the bomber.

It sounds to me like he's partnering with him. Oh, is that what it sounded like to you, you fucking dummy? Thank you. Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Yeah, he was partnering with Obama. I love to be anti-Semitic right now, but I can't. And I've said good things about Bill Maher, actually, here and there.

I like his spunk. Like I said, it was the sports team. He's the guy you hate that you like on your team, but it doesn't take much courage to be living in L.A. and Hollywood for the last 40 years and spewing your fucking liberal jokes. It's real fucking edgy.

Let's go to John in Seattle. John, how are you? Yeah, how you doing, man? Yeah. Just curious, man. What are you going for Halloween, dude? What am I going for Halloween? I'm going as your sister, John.

My sister? Yeah, your sister. I give enough crap to my sister. You what? Yeah, I give enough crap to my sister, man. Do you really? Don't push that on her. I can tell from your tone of voice you're a PC jerk-off from Seattle.

Fuck off. How about that? I can just tell from their tone i can tell from their tone hey what what are you doing it's just a glib i'm a fucking i've been in comedy 30 fucking year it's the one thing i know better than most people even the people in the business and i could sense your pc i could smell your pc dog shit from the west coast i could could smell it. Hey, what are you going as, dude? Yeah, fucking. Good comeback, Wado. I give my shifter enough shit. That's right. I'm making fun of transgender people, John. Why don't you fly to fucking New York and sue me?

Go bang a salmon this god damn cocaine let's move on shall we CNN host the biggest terror threat in this country is white men.

You know who said that? Don the Goo Gobbler, Lemon. Yeah, put a picture of Don Lemon up there with Cuomo. There you go. Huh? There you go. Look at that. If that doesn't say New York,

I don't know which Cuomo is that. Is that the governor or is that the guy from CNN kissing a gay black man on the streets of Manhattan? Boy, it's hard to see how Trump won, huh? But racist Don Lemon gets away with it because he's gay and he's racist. He hates fucking white people. He's confused about his sexuality. Maybe not.

CNN host Don Lemon is under fire. Is he under fire? Because I haven't read anything. I haven't read where they're going to suspend him. I haven't read where he might get canned permanently. I want you to think about a fucking guy on Fox News saying, you know, black people are really the with all the violence, they're really the terror.

I mean, they kill each other every weekend in every major urban, you know, every city. Chicago, they kill people of all color. They commit, you know, 70% of the violent crime in this country, disproportionate amount of crime. And, you know, they really are the problem. How would that fly? If a white guy said that at Fox or

anywhere. Is Don Lemon on the air tonight? I'm guessing. I don't even know, but I haven't heard. It says under fire. It said he's under fire. How is he under fire? He's a friend. That's beside the point, Tony.

Here's a video of Don Lemon saying this atrocious shit. So we have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men. Most of them radicalized. Guys, guys, do it again. Guys. We're playing Johnny Depp as Whitey baldrick can we can we play this clip

so we have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men most of them radicalized right up to the right and we have to start doing something about them there is no travel ban on them there is no ban on you know they had the Muslim ban there is no white guy ban so what do we do about that Fuck you! You smug cocksucker! Fuck you! What do we do about you, you piece of shit? You lying piece of shit! You are the cancer in this country! Trump hasn't gone after your fucking network

enough. I bet you're on the air tonight. Huh? Is this going to go under the fucking radar? You're the fucking problem. You're the cancer. Fucking idiot. Look at Cuomo just cosigning his bullshit.

Another dumb self-hating white man from fucking New York. Ugh. Ugh. Off the fucking rails. Cuomo responded by telling Lemon he was making the right fucking point. Well, naturally he did.

Stop! Thank you. Although the bizarre diatribe was quickly denounced by critics, CNN did not immediately respond to requests for comment. Fox, really? I thought he was under fire. Fox News contributor DeRoy Murdoch, black guy,

said the racism coming from the left and mainstream media has become breathtaking. Pointing to Lemon's comment as the latest example. Lemon's latest spurt of acid, he says, is the most unusual plea for national unity. We have to stop demonizing people. And then, just two words later, a blast of divisiveness worthy of a machete.

Exactly. Exactly. Murdoch hits it right on the head. But, you know, it'll be swept under the rug. Because, again, he's a black guy in the United States whose great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents went through some fucking hell, and now we all have to pay for it. Karmically.

Imagine he says we have to do something about it. What are you going to do about it, Don? What are you going to do about it? No, I'm asking you, Don. What are you going to do about the white man problem in the United States? You're already doing it with your fucking horseshit fake news at CNN. You're already doing the devil's bidding. You have black and white people at each other's throats because of idiots like you.

So, ugh. Ugh. Lemon injected race into a discussion of topics including the anti-Semitic trompeting gunmen who killed 11 worshippers. Then he says, the right-wing groups killed a woman the woman in charlesville this guy is a right winger

who killed the people in the synagogue the right winger sent bombs to cnn and democrats i don't see democrats killing people lemon also said oh my god how fucking stupid is this fucking guy you smoke cocksucker i don't see the left killing people what do you got fucking alzheimer's stupid is this fucking guy. You smug cocksucker.

I don't see the left killing people. What do you got, fucking Alzheimer's? Why don't you fucking talk to Steve Scalise? Oh, that's right. He was just gravely wounded and five other Republicans shot on a baseball field. Oh, that doesn't count. I don't see other fucking leftists trying to kill you. You don't?

That's how much of a bubble you're living? You already forgot about that? Are you shitting me? Fucking. Imagine being that fucking myopic. Ah, he's not going to bring that up. It doesn't fit the CNN narrative. Lemon's comments about white men being a

terror threat went largely unnoticed until Daily Wire reported Ryan Savedra circulated the video via Twitter on Tuesday night. Fox News senior political analyst Britt Hume responded, I can do a good Britt Hume off of my glasses, Donald, just like you do.

I have the same mouth as Brooke. I hardly believe I actually said that. But the video shows he certainly did. I mean, remarkable. Donald Trump Jr. tweeted the video captioned, I imagine the outrage if you change white men with any other Democrat. Actually, that was Donald Trump Jr.'s tweet. Donald Trump Jr. said, imagine the outrage if you change white men with...

Yeah, I already did that, though. But it's a valid point. But we keep pointing out the double standards, and nothing happens. If he's on the air tonight, I'm going down to the studio on my Vesper. If he's on the air tonight, I'm going down to the studio on my Vesper. You can get away with anything in this country if you're on TV and you're a minority. What's that? Super chat? Dead. So I had a big one from Mike Rossi.

Nick, the hypocrisy. Yes, it was terrible, but people don't realize the African-Americans' own people were selling them into slavery. Yes, we know all that, Mike. Jeez. Yes. You know, the big point is that the West didn't invent slavery, but they ended it. Nobody brings that. Slavery is being practiced across the globe, and the West abolished it. But you don't hear that brought up by Don Goo Gobbler Lemon. Good.

I got Chris Kaufman Jr. Equal rights movement becomes a supremacy movement. Yes. You are correct. Well, the feminist movement grabbed onto the coattails of the civil rights movement. And I always think of Roller Derby. Do you remember? I don't know if you watch roller derby.

They do that chain and one guy whips around the outside. That's what the feminists did. They blew by the civil rights movement, grabbed onto their coattails, and it is. It's trying to draw... There's plenty of feminists. Tammy Bruce used to be

the head of NOW, National Organization for Women. She's a gay woman. She's the head of NOW, National Organization for Women. She's a gay woman. She was the head of NOW. And she's now a right-winger. Some people grow up and see the fucking psychosis of the left and the militancy, and she's so bright. I see her on TV a lot. And same with Camille Pagli, a gay woman who fucking hates today's feminist movement.

So you're right, Mr. Rossi, Mr. Rossi, Mr. Rizzi. Let's go to Evan in Florida. Evan, what's up? Evan, you are on, sir. Well, maybe if I click the button I was looking at my own lipstick and eyeliner I didn't Evan what's up yeah good I just wanted to congratulate you on the Elizabeth Warren costume I think it's spot-on please I'm prettier than she is. That's a terrible thing to say.

You did a pretty damn good job. Did you hear about what Hillary Clinton said about African American people? Yes, I did. That they all look alike, and we covered that yesterday. They all look alike? Yeah. You don't see, there's barely any outrage at all. No, I know.

Can you imagine if Donald Trump said something? Yeah, no, exactly, Evan. They don't even have to. They don't even, and again, my point was, she should be able to say shit like that. And it actually showed she's human, and I actually kind of laughed. It's the only time I've ever seen her be funny. And my point being,

she wouldn't let you and I get away with that for a second. And they don't even, they're shameless. It's not even hypocrisy. They don't have to be ashamed. They know that they have the media in their pocket and everything else. It really is ridiculous. Thank you, Evan,

for the call so much. I appreciate it. Trump ain't playing. Video shows hundreds. I don't know if we have video. We do. Video shows hundreds of military vehicles being shipped to the border.

Do we have any of that? Those look like vehicles being shipped to rich wrappers. Those look like vehicles being shipped to rich rappers. That's going to Jay-Z's house. This is what they drive around in New York now. Footage of train heading southbound reportedly captured in Arizona. A video posted on Twitter showed a shipment of hundreds of military vehicles reportedly being sent

to the U.S. border in anticipation of a showdown with migrant caravan currently headed to the United States. Train in Arizona recently heading southbound. Guy says on Twitter, Trump ain't playing. Oh, promises fucking made, promises kept. That makes him a bad president, you know that. That makes him a bad president. You know that. The footage comes as President Trump announced he would be sending 5,200 troops

to strengthen border security after reports that a caravan of about 14,000 migrants made up of mostly Hondurans has continued making its way towards the U.S. border. But here's what bummed me out when I started reading more. The more than 5,200 active duty troops being sent by Trump to the border,

U.S.-Mexican border, will be limited in what they can do under a federal law that restricts the military from engaging in law enforcement on American soil. Naturally. So the only things they're going to be allowed to do is make finger sandwiches, give people sponge baths, that's plural, sponge baths,

and play soccer with little kids. That's basically it. Reduce to a fucking party at Chuck E. Cheese. That means the troops will not be allowed to detain immigrants. Well, of course not. Seize drugs from smugglers or have any direct involvement in stopping

a migrant caravan that's still about a thousand miles. By the way, this is the Associated Press, which is very liberal. So that's... They can't detain immigrants or seize drugs from smugglers or have any direct involvement in stopping the migrant caravan. Are you... I mean, who comes up with this shit?

You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. R. Gil Kurlikowski, Customs and Border Protection Commissioner from 2014 to 2017, said the military cannot stop asylum seekers who show up at border crossings to seek protection and that border patrol agents have had no trouble apprehending people who cross illegally yeah i guess they've had no no no trouble in the last

few that's why we have 22 million illegals living in the country for the last 20 years i see it as a by the way this guy worked under obama and and trump i guess because he worked at 20 i see it as a, by the way, this guy worked under Obama and Trump, I guess, because he worked at 20. I see it as a political stunt and a waste of military resources and a waste of tax dollars, Kerlikowsky said, who was at the helm during a major surge of Central American migrants in 2014. To use active duty military and put them in that role I think is a huge mistake. I see it as nothing more than pandering to the midterm elections by the president.

Oh, is that how you see it? Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? If I could, I'd grab this microphone and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve. sucker down here who just signed his own death warrant if i could i grabbed this microphone i

beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve that's what you deserve and despite the heightened rhetoric they go on the number of immigrants apprehended at the border is dramatically lower than past years yeah you know why that is because when trump fucking ran for president he said i'm gonna build a wall youpes. And it's the first thing he said, and it's how he won. And those people said, you know what? This guy's not fucking around. He's not a Miss Barack Obama. So why even make the trek? It's amazing, isn't it? When you actually put your country first? And by the way, I don't know where they're getting their statistics,

because I've been reading that the last few months, it's a record as far as people trying to cross. So I don't know who the fuck I'm going to believe anymore. Border Patrol agents this year made only a quarter of the arrests they made in 2000 at the height of illegal immigration, when the agency had half of the staffing it does today. Again, this is from the AP. The demographics have also drastically changed from mostly Mexican men traveling alone

to Central American families with children. Oh, is that right? Is that right? Because I've been looking at those caravans and I see nothing but young males in there. Again, more fucking fake horseshit news, in my opinion. Migrants arriving at the border

will now see a sizable U.S. military presence. Yeah, thank God. More than double 2,000 who are in Syria fighting to try to make a point. The Islamic State. So what's your point? What is your point? That Trump sees these people as more dangerous than ISIS? Or is that you're underhanded?

Even though their mission will be largely a support role. You know. It's exhausting. Do you understand the optics to a lefty or progressive? Just the military, all those trucks and ships being shipped to the border. Do you understand that keeps them up at night?

The fact that we're trying to slow down other people but coming into this country in leeching off the American taxpayer that obviously makes you a bigot if you're for that type of shit well my lipsticks fading uh what do we got here uh boasting new york what your thoughts are when they played those soundbites of obama when he said our president's trying to spread hate this administration of hate obama saying trump is trying to make them out as a gang as a gang member uh i don't have to see, I didn't see that particular, I heard about it. It's the same rhetoric that he's been fucking spewing

when he got elected. You know, hate, hate. I said it on Tough Crowd, what are we, this is 2018, so I said that 15, 16 years ago, I said on Tough Crowd, I hate how the left,

when you disagree with them, they label you a hater. I was 15 years ahead of the curb on that one. It doesn't surprise me. That's what they do. And there's enough PC people. That's what they're telling you. Obama and people who think like him and who love him,

when they start an argument with somebody like me or you, they start at that they somebody like me or you, they start at that they're morally superior to you. That's where they start their argument. They really think they are fucking more virtuous than you. Our president is trying to spread hate. That's funny because that's all I saw was hate when Obama was president. Ferguson, Baltimore, the knockout game. Do I have to play that clip again? The country was never meaner. But see, hate can only come from white people, according to Obama.

Fucking moron and people who like him. Only you can be a hater or a bigot or a racist because you're the oppressor. Even if you live in Appalachia and you shit into a coffee can twice a day and work on a coal mine, you're the oppressor. It's nice how he generalizes.

Trump's trying to make him out as gang members. Well, you know what? A couple of them, Mr. Obama, shot at Mexican cops yesterday. Did you bring that up in your little speech, you Marxist fuck? I have more evidence that Trump's right than you're right.

How about with the Honduran flags and shit? Yeah, you fucking globalist. Fucking moron. I didn't read my dates. I'll do it at the end. I didn't, did I? I'm at the bottom of the pile. Super chat what?

What's it about? I got about four. Any of them related to what I'm talking about? Go ahead. I don't care. Yeah, I got one. Tom Jones. Just paying attention to what I'm talking about? Go ahead. I don't care. Yeah, I got one. Tom Jones, just paying attention to what Alex...

Just pay attention to what Alex Jones was saying years ago about these caravans containing terrorists. They've been there since the Iran-Contra BS. To some extent, yes. I don't know if they were as big as this and what happened when they got here. People like Obama, what happens is they have to go, if they claim asylum, once they get

a foot on the ground, you have to let them in, they go to court. If they're claiming asylum, because they have the right to do it. And they give them a ticket to appear later on, and they don't show up. It's a con game, it's been going on forever, so he's absolutely right. And, you know, Trump wanting to put a stop to that makes him a racist. Go ahead, Ry. Next.

Dustin Toland says you look like his Aunt Edith. I look like what? You look like his Aunt Edith. I don't know if I look like your Aunt Edith or not, but I'm guessing she did not get a lot of dick. Next. I could be wrong. A lot of guys like this type of lesbian from Sicily. Look. Go ahead.

Mike Rossi says, Nick, I feel like I'm deciphering moon footage. I can't tell if that American flag on your desk is waving or not. What about the moon footage? Oh, God. Mr. Rossi.

Next. Patrick Dorr. Best news segment, Patrice kicking Prez of Now's ass. Prez of Now? He said Prez of Now apostrophe S. Ass. I don't know what that means. Neither do I.

Seriously, I can't do this anymore. Four out of the five ones you read is always present now. What does that mean? I have no idea. Yeah, we're scratching that segment. Sorry. I can only read the relevant ones if you want. No, that's fine.

I'm good. Finally tonight, Joe Donnelly, Democrat, Indiana, insults minority staffers during final Senate debate. During Tuesday night's crucial and final debate in what is shaping up as a much tighter Indiana Senate race than anyone expected, the Democrat bragged about the racial diversity of some of his top Senate campaign staffers, but appeared to be surprised that their ethnicity did not hold them back from doing a great job. Check this out. Our state director is Indian-American, but he does an amazing job. Our director of all constituent services, she's African-American,

but she does an even more incredible job than you could ever imagine oh my god the word but can be really harmful if not used right I got a bunch of black people on my staff, but they do a great job. I got people like, I got some broads on my staff, but they do better than you think for broads. Oh, my aching stem.

And I'm sure he'll get away with it. Fucking precious. Precious, Mr. Donnelly. I guess guess the guy he's running again look at him it's like a union guy from the 50s it says it is the word but that caught everyone's attention exactly well except for a national media that would already be using this gap to crucify Donnelly's challenger Republican Mike Braun and he said anything close to the same,

he'd be crucified. In fact, with less than a week to go, because Braun is creeping into the lead, had the Republicans said it, just as they did with Todd Akin's dumb comment about rape in 2012, the national media would have been crucifying the entire Republican Party senseless with it, which is exactly right. Again, pointing out the double standards, but let's fix it. I've got some broads and minorities working for me, but you know what? Despite what you think, they can really do the job. It's like Biden talking about Obama when he first started running. This guy's articulate. He's charismatic and he's clean. They are the biggest race.

They project their racism on us, folks. They're the most racist people. Anybody who panders or patronizing is just fucking horrible. All right. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. That is it for your Halloween show. Thank you. Do you guys not in costume anymore?

Was it too hot in there or something? Guys are melting. You're still me. You're a skinny young kid with a blue shirt on and a tie. I had a makeup. There was a spot on your face earlier, but it rubbed off. Whose idea was that? Yours?

Janice. You're going to have two spots on your face. I don't know what that means. That could be some type of homophobic thing. Anyways, thank you so much for tuning in ladies and gentlemen dates real quick go to nickdip.com you can get the dates but I'll read them

for the people listening this Friday and Saturday night November 2nd and 3rd Governor's Levittown Long Island Tuesday November 6th the Fat Black Pussycat New York City Friday November 9th Saturday November 10th, Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut. Saturday, November 17th, The Comedy Shop, Bud Lake, New Jersey. Friday, November 30th, Saturday, December 1st, The Corner Comedy Club, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. Monday, December 31st, New Year's Eve, Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York.

Saturday, January 12th, Fairfield Theater, Fairfield, Connecticut. Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. So go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information. Thank you so much. Happy Halloween and don't eat too much candy and shit.

Remember, you think it, I will say it. You are so welcome and we'll see you tomorrow, patrons. Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Девочка-пай Outro Music