The Nick DiPaolo Show - Coup Coup Russia | Nick Di Paolo Show #1417

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Russia's "coup", the Untouchable, naked biking and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Oh yeah, how you is? That's what it was, yeah. How many men on a hockey team? Oh, I don't know about that. About half. How you doing, folks? Great to be back, I Oh, I don't know about that. About half. How you doing, folks? Great to be back,

I guess. I don't know. Walked into the studio here, a nice balmy 88 degrees. Air conditioner is not working. Dallas has been there for a while. He put it on, and it went up a degree.

What's it now, Dallas? It was 89 about two minutes ago. Five minutes ago. Still 89. It's about to be 90. I was here yesterday working out and I had it at,

I mean it was 90 and I didn't put the air. Dude, I'm just stretching a little and my fucking eyes are burning from my sweat and try to take a dump. I lost eight pounds from the sweat, not even the dump.

I didn't dump, folks. Just want to be gross. It's Monday. The fuck you want out pounds from the sweat, not even the dump. I didn't dump, folks. I just want to be gross. It's Monday. What the fuck do you want out of me? Yeah, good to be back. I feel like we haven't been here in a while. I went out to Dallas, did three shows with Crowder, who I have a blast with. It really is fun.

And you were with the kids, right? Yep. And you took them, you said, to the dirty movie downtown? Yeah, Debbie Does Dallas. Debbie Does Savannah. Sally Does Savannah. Although today it will be Bobby Does Boston or some fucking fruit cup goo gobbler. Anyhow, here we is.

Look at. Fucking sweating already. Boy, folks, let me tell you. Bad time for that thing to go down. What happened since I seen you last? Not much. Fucking Red Sox, PU. They had the weirdest team.

They have like this potent offense that goes away every. And that's baseball for the most part. But it goes away. When it goes away. They were swinging and missing you. I've never saw so many swings and misses. I'm like, what? They're making everybody look like,

and these pitchers, we're playing the White Sox. This guy's ERA is like 11.2, and they're making him look like Nolan Ryan. Fucking assholes. And I guess your Braves finally stopped Cincinnati who had ripped off 12 in a row. They were in Boston and everybody's joking at how bad they, you know, up to that point

they were having, then they took off. Anyway, who cares? I know, folks. You guys probably want to hear basketball notes. Put on fucking ESPN. That's all they talk about. Excuse me. Excuse me. All right, let's get to it. A lot of shit happening worldwide over the weekend.

How about a coup that started Friday night? That's a coup. A coup. A coup on the Kremlin. There are still no reports of mercenary leader, Irvingi Progozhin, arriving in Belarus after he reached a deal with the Kremlin to go into exile and ended his rebellion. Nobody can find him. Hello?

Look at that guy's face. Hello? He's more Russian than Borsh. Anybody there? Echo! Look at that fucking guy. Gee, I wonder who would win an arm wrestling contest between him and Admiral Levine. This guy was in jail.

I read about him. This guy was in jail for 12 years. He owned restaurants that Putin frequented and loved, so they became friends. That's why they called him Putin's chef, because he would do all his personal meals and shit. He was a prisoner, and then finally got out and started his own little, kind of like a private contractor, right, Dallas? The Wagner Group.

And he recruited, like, I don't know, he had 40, he said he had 40 to 50,000 prisoners that he took out of Russian prison. Can you imagine trying to control those fucks? Anyways, he decided to, he didn't like what was going on and started his own, started a march towards the Kremlin this weekend on Friday night and then banged the U.E. on Saturday, 24 hours later. And who knows what's going on?

What I read was Putin said, I'll kill your whole family, which kind of rings true. But then I saw some woman on TV with this Russian accent, blonde, smart as a whip, talking. She covers Putin since he's become president, how he plays three-dimensional chess like most Russians do. And she's like, we don't even know. This could be a play on Putin's part to look weak.

You don't know. That's the truth of it. But the mainstream media is, you know, they're right out there. Insurrection. But let's jump on it. This is stupid. Many other questions remained unanswered on Sunday morning, including whether Prigozhin would be joined in exile by any of his Wagner Group troops and what role of any he might have there. Putin said the troops under this guy that didn't take part can come, you know, there'll be no prosecution. And he wants the

ones that did take part, he wants to kind of redistribute them back into the Russian military. And don't believe me, they did. You really think they're that stupid? Oh, my God. You know, this guy's got an X on his head. The U.S.-based think tank, do we even have those anymore? Institute for the Study of War, apparently we're flunking that course, says the Kremlin faces a deeply unstable equilibrium after the deal to end the rebellion by Yevgeny Prigozhin's Wagner Group, or as they call it, Wagner Group. The Institute said that the optics of Belarus, hey, you're in sad shape, but Belarus has to rescue you. This is all about image.

It don't look good if it's all true and shit. It shows there's a crack, you know. The optics of Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko. Look, seen here, he designed his own hat. It's a Russian hat with a sombrero on top. And the collar is made from Russian hooker pussy. Yes, they were in the late 80s when they skinned him alive. President Lukashenko, having played a role in halting a military advance on Moscow,

God damn it, were humiliating to President Vladimir Putin. It said that the Lushenko negotiated deal is a short-term fix, not a long-term solution, you know, like Jenny Craig. And Progozin rebellion exposed severe weaknesses in the Kremlin and the Russian defense ministry. Here's a guy talking about it from the Russian ministry. I think that was potent. The ISW noted that the prognosion consistently escalated his rhetoric against the Russian defense ministry before starting his revolt, and Putin failed to mitigate this risk.

So look at this guy. Like I said, this guy did 12 years in Russian prison, and then he comes out on the other side. And him and Putin were tight, like I said. But like I said, you don't know. You have no idea. Putin ain't dumb. He might be dying. But anyways, who would you take in a fight, by the way?

What military right now? This guy or this guy from the United States? Admiral Levine. I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Aye, aye, aye.

Anyways, look at this. It is fucking hot in here. We are at 90 now. We are at 90 now. We're at 90 degrees. Folks, if it's an eight-minute show, don't blame me. It's like I'm outside in Uganda. All right, let's move on, shall we?

Jonathan Turley is a great lawyer. You've seen him on TV. Here's why he's a great lawyer. You'll see him on Fox. You'll see him on CNN. You'll see him on all the, well, maybe not CNN anymore, but he's a Georgetown professor and he has no bias. He's one of those guys that strict, he knows the Constitution like the back of his hand. I've seen him say bad stuff about Trump, good stuff. He's really, he's almost like Dershowitz right down the line. Anyways, he wrote a piece that I think was interesting.

almost like Dershowitz right down the line. Anyways, he wrote a piece that I think was interesting. Many of us have already, this is his piece by the way that I'm reading from, noted that absence of certain charges in the plea deal given to Hunter Biden, in addition to the lack of any charges as an unregistered foreign agent, he's getting by with all this stuff, there's no evidence that the Justice Department seriously investigated the influence peddling efforts of the Biden family, despite allegations of millions generated from foreign sources. These are the whistleblowers from the IRS pointing this shit out. And it's unbelievable what he's getting away with. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here, said no Republican. Now these whistleblowers are

reportedly telling Congress that they were actively frustrated in their efforts. In other words, the DOJ was frustrating them on purpose in their efforts to investigate as Merrick Garland was insisting that there was no interference or limitations. This lying cocksucker, this guy is the devil. He's the devil, period. How does an asshole like this get to this position? Yes, man, his whole life. This included preventing an effort to search a guest house of President Joe Biden. IRS official Gary Shapley allegedly recalled the assistant U.S.

attorney Leslie Wolf agreed that there was more than enough probable cause for the physical search warrant there. But the question was whether the juice was worth the squeeze. It's none of your business. Do your job. Is that part of the judges? You know what I mean? I ain't supposed to, you don't weigh in on it yourself. Nobody gives a fuck what you think. I don't think. It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer to you.

Yeah, I'll squeeze you. Wolf allegedly said that they could never get approval for the search despite the sufficiency of the evidence. Even more disturbing is the allegation, see, this is the search despite the sufficiency of the evidence. Even more disturbing is the allegation. See, this is the problem at the judicial level. Bunch of fucking left-wing scumbags. Even more disturbing is the allegation that Delaware U.S. Attorney David Weiss sought to bring charges against the 53-year-old, and that means Hunter, in both the District of Columbia and Southern California last year, and was denied both times. That directly contradicts statements made to Congress by Attorney General Garland.

You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. Democrats and pundits have repeatedly cited the fact that Weiss was a Trump appointee and thus the light plea bargain shows that there was no case to be made. However, these sources are suggesting that Weiss tried and was rebuffed in his effort to prosecute in two different jurisdictions. There is also an allegation that Wolf gave Hunter's legal team a heads up. Look at this. That investigators were moving to search his Northern Virginia storage unit and that Wolf again objected to the effort to secure a search warrant.

Anybody going to fucking investigate her? A Republican is going to have a hearing and just let it off. Not to sound like the view, but this is really ridiculous. The only way to establish the truth of any of this would be to call Weiss, Wolf, and others to Congress. But then what happens? It's a waste of time. While such efforts are routinely refused by the Justice Department, these allegations, if true, would raise both potentially criminal and impeachable questions. That is an ample basis for Congress to use its oversight authority.

I told you my theory about they're going to hang Joe out to dry because the Democrats don't want him as a nominee, I believe. And they're going to hang him out to dry, but it's not coming true, my theory. And they're going to go, look, we got him and Trump. So it wasn't political against Trump. That's my theory, and it's making me sick. Anyways, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about a famous NFL quarterback that's in trouble for his hunting skills

and one of his favorite hobbies and how the Democrats are trying to design artificial intelligence to be woke. You think you're in a PC mess now, people on the right? If that comes true, it is on, well it's over anyways, but that'll be frightening. Frighteningly Orwellian, as they say. That's all exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapalashow.com. Aye? Aye. Let's move on, shall we? Headline, peddling pussy. What? You heard me, Gilligan. Nope. I got nothing. It's Monday. Terrific. Police in Wisconsin say that nobody will face any charges in an alleged incident where a young nude girl,

oh, tell me more, participated in a naked bike ride with a dog. You notice how the minute you hear nobody will be charged, you know right away that it's a Democrat doing something wrong or people who lean left, whatever, right? Am I right? You know that just from that tip off. And sure enough, you know, they do the naked bike ride. Now it's, listen up. I'm going to start, like my wife said, a bike seat cleaning service. Fucking whack them like $10 a piece. Do you remember the famous quote by Gloria Steinem? Here comes a nice joke for you that I thought was really funny,

but very immature, but I still enjoy it. Gloria Steinem, feminist, said, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bike. I said, I don't know about that, but every time a woman borrows my bike, it smells like a fish. That's more clever than you think. Yeah, it's a pussy smelly joke, but it's a great joke. The World Naked Bike Ride is an international

bicycle riding event. We've got to do something about that. I can hardly see the fucking... Bicycle riding event where clothing is optional. The world naked bike ride is about protesting oil dependency, so that's how you know it's left-leaning loons, and celebrating the power and individuality of our bodies.

What has one got to do with the other, you fucks? Do me a favor. Take off your clothes. Jump in a tank of oil. Somebody throw a match in it, you stupid, you fucks. Do me a favor. Take off your clothes. Jump in a tank of oil. Somebody throw a match in it, you stupid ass fucks. There is no crisis. Look at your history. Read up on the weather. It's weather. It changes. It's going to go up a degree for the next, I think, in the next hundred years. Literally a degree and a half. think of the next hundred years.

Literally a degree and a half. Ooh! You can't break the earth, you fucking idiots. How arrogant are you? And it's all a ruse to bankrupt us. Meanwhile, China building how many oil refineries every day?

Nobody's saying chat. The first World Naked Bike Ride was held in 2003. oil refineries every day? Nobody's saying shat. The first World Naked Bike Ride was held in 2003. By 2010 there were WNBR events in 74 cities across 17 countries. On June 17th approximately 150 people, that's it? That's a lot of small dicks, participated in the World Naked Bike Ride in Madison, Wisconsin. One of the participants was

allegedly, not allegedly, I know you got to put that in because of fucking lawyers, but it's not allegedly, was a young girl. Yeah, that's probably why half the guys showed up of course we find the one broad with a nice ass in this a local resident notified uh dane county sup superintendent jeff wagoned that there was a nude girl who appeared to be younger than 10 years old participating in the world naked bike ride in madison there was a nude girl who appeared to be younger than 10 years old participating in the World Naked Bike Ride in Madison. There was reportedly a photo of the young girl uploaded to social media. Well, I haven't seen it. I looked all night. That's ridiculous.

A Wisconsin State Journal reporter who covered the event also saw the girl there. And a different photo of the girl appears on the Facebook page of the World Naked Bike Ride participant. See, even though they knew it was wrong. Really? You're an adult, you've got to feel... How... Madison Police spokesperson Stephanie Fryer on Wednesday said police received a complaint on Sunday

about an image of the girl posted to social media. Look at her. She looks as dumb as she is fat. You know, she looks like Kathy Bates in Misery. You cuck of duty head. Image of the girl posted to social media. And on Tuesday, you cuck of duty head image of the girl posted to social media and on tuesday a complaint from someone who saw the girl at the ride wygen demanded if a child was allowed to

participate in this naked bike ride any and all adults who supported and condone this need to be arrested immediately yes sir absolutely sir. Absolutely right. However, police said that no laws have been broken and nobody would be charged. Still doesn't mean it's right. Friar said that investigators said the incident did not violate any of the state's child pornography laws or violating any harmful material statutes. Well, maybe you want to broaden that statute, you dinkweed.

According to the Wisconsin State Journal, Weingart rejected the notion that state criminal law wouldn't apply in the incident, pointing to state statutes that, for example, bar sexual exploitation of child, causing a child to view or listen to sexual activity, or causing child to expose genitals. However, those laws seek to protect minors from engaging in sexual conduct or causing sexual arousal, something the organizers of the bike ride have said the event is not intended to do. So I guess what you're saying is what? I can ride through an elementary school?

You know what I mean? During recess naked? I'm not intended to harm anybody. I'm just circling the building. How is that fucking different? The world, everything sides with the evil. Ow! Fucking heat! You know what I'm saying? I'm just bare ass with a semi chubby going by Maple Street Elementary School where the girls are playing jump rope. That's all right, you didn't intend it.

The World Naked Bike Ride website. Can we just kill anybody who's... Oh, there you go. That's what you see at these bike rides. That's what you see. Look at that. Imagine that after a mile and a half. The fucking Pillsbury Doughboy. That is a horrendous ass.

That's going to scar children for life. The World Naked Bike Ride website for Milwaukee events states anyone is... That was in Milwaukee, huh? No black crazy guy in a car to take out about 40 of them? Anyone is welcome to join, but minors must be accompanied by a parent or... That's the other thing. By a parent or guardian. There was a bunch of pride parades this week, by the way.

I didn't think I got to them on our show. Where there's photographs of guys twerking. I'm talking during a gay parade. This old guy with a pot belly and his tighty-whities twerking as a bunch of parents and the little kids look on cheering in a parade. If this isn't fucking Rome, I don't know what is. Anyways, welcome to join, but mine is must be like this at accompanied by a parent or guardian. The World Naked Bike Ride website defends children participating in the nude event. You got a video?

Yes, the... We already... Oh, that's right. I wanted to tie this in. This is what I was talking about, some of the gay pride parades. This one here, they were chanting, we're here, we're queer, we're coming for your children. Now, they say, well, we were being sarcastic. And I've got to be honest, part of that, when I first heard it, but another part of me was like, nah.

Even some of the gay people said, yeah, it was a bad joke or whatever. Even if it wasn't bad joke or whatever. Or whatever. Even if it wasn't intended to be real. You know, so it was a stupid thing. But it's not helping your cause right now. After Bud Light and all that shit, we've had enough. I am so sick of talking about you fucking... Are we at the dirty part of the show yet?

I don't even know. I'm tired of it. Again, they make up about 1% of the population, and that's all we talk about. Because again, it's used as a distraction. Well, Biden does his other dirty things, and this country becomes slowly Marxist. And it's an attack on the nuclear family. It dovetails beautifully for them. Does it not? Anyways, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdopaloshow.com and join to get my full show,

Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And while you're there, you can click on the tour button. And my next date is July 14th and 15th, Arlington Cinema and Draftouse, Arlington, Virginia. I love that gig. I've done it many times.

I've done it. Virginia been better, better good to me. guitar solo Outro Music