The Nick DiPaolo Show - Crime Closes Portland's Nike | Nick Di Paolo Show #1454

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Staten Island having enough and Kamala insulted by question! Today’s episode is sponsored by Nugenix Total T! Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T & support the show when you text 231-231 & enter the keyword NICK Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 I tried. I did the best I could. What about me? What am I supposed to do? The crying call of America. How's it going, folks? Welcome to the show, Tuesday. Tuesday. Right after this, I'll be headed to the airport to, you know, Dallas. Be on Crowder's show tomorrow, Thursday.

Buffalo Robs Playhouse, Friday night. Saturday with Gutfeld in Santander, Pennsylvania. Sunday night, one show, Hilarities Cleveland. And that's my week. Good night, everybody. What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I swear to God, Joe Namath made a pact with the devil back in 1968 or 9,

whenever they won that last Super Bowl. What the fuck, folks? I don't like to start the show with sports news, but this is bigger than sports. Aaron Rodgers. We've been talking about this for, I don't know how many months now. The world has been waiting. New York has been so excited. This is the year. They figured they're going to pull a Tom Brady goes to Tampa and win the Super Bowl. They got Delvin Cook as a running back. It's the place is packed. The energy. They had Aaron Rodgers run out with an American flag last

night to Method Man or whoever the fuck it was. Whatever. Some black rapper who I hate. Let's narrow it down for you. Anyways. Anyhow, yeah. What was it? Four minutes into the game. Four snaps. Four minutes, four snaps.

Ruptures Achilles' tent. I said to my wife, she will verify this, and she hates me, so. I go to her. I see him get tackled, okay? I saw him hop up awkwardly. Just a second. You can catch it if you see the original. So I turn to her and go, nobody thinks like a guy can miss.

Nobody's even brought up the chance of him getting hurt. We look back to the TV. He sits back down. I go, what the fuck? Unbelievable. You know, I'm a Boston fan. I love when the Cowboys kick the shit out of the Giants. It's like watching porn.

The Jets, however, I want them. I don't know. Again, a little part of me because I'm from Boston, enjoyed what happened. But very little. I like Aaron Rodgers, and I would like to see him play against a Belichick defense twice a year and whatever. All the shit. It's fucking gone. New York.

What happened? What happened? All that hoopla. They were on hard knocks. All that stuff. Four snaps. Can't wait to hear from him. He knows.

When he sits down, he knows. Imagine what's going through his head. He's like, I don't even dare get up. How am I going to tell the people this? Holy fucking moly. Anyways, the Jets, and they got a real defense. That is a good, Buffalo ain't no joke on offense. And that defense the Jets have is real. You combine that with an Aaron Rodgers, I mean, Zach, what's his name? Wilson will be the quarterback, you know, he's number two overall, I guess. A few years ago.

And he's adequate, but holy shit. Anyways, what are you going to do? I don't know. You just can't help but feel terrible. Jazz fan or not? Yeah, well, like I said, I'm from Boston. A little part of me is fucking laughing. I'm from Green Bay. We're not from, but I'm a Green Bay fan

and it's still sad. Well, it's sad obviously because he was a Green Bay player. I don't give a fuck. The Jets were my conference. No, it is. It's horrible for everybody. Anyways, let's move on to real dramatic stuff. Staten Island, where I vacation every year.

Sick of St. Bart's. Too expensive. Back to Staten Island. Beautiful beaches, landfills, mafia bodies floating up. Anyways, they hit back on immigrant overflow. Migrants, this was funny, man. This sums up the world.

Migrants at Staten Island shelter are being bombarded by a blaring 24-7 recording. I thought it was going to be like, you know, fucking Nickelback, something. Men without hats to drive them on. A recording urging them to leave. Claiming this site is rat and mole infested. And they're like, yeah,

so is the place we came from. What's your point? And that they are being lied to by Mayor Eric Adams, who's, by the way, again, I don't believe, you guys know I don't believe these elections are, I believe guys like this are appointed. I don't give a fuck. The guy's barely literate, and he's just a failure already.

The audio recording was being blasted from a professional speaker in five languages. But, you know, diversity is our strength. English, Spanish, Ukrainian, Chinese, and Urdu. I took that in high school. You picked the right ones. Yeah. Urdu. What is that, Dallas? You know. Urdu is between Pakistan, Afghanistan, and India. I had a feeling it was one of those diarrhea countries. At an ear-splitting level of 117,000. Oh, come on. It's talk. It's not music. At an ear-splitting level of 117 decibels. Oh, come on. It's talk.

It's not music. Put Nugent in there. Fucking just what the doctor ordered. 117 decibels on Monday afternoon from the property of homeowner Scott Herkick next to the controversial former St. John's of Villa Academy turned migrant shelter. So they got five different languages. They just said, go home.

We don't want you here. Very nice. Let's take a listen to the, I got a kick out of this. Boy, this sums up how well this is working, this open border policy. Listen to the guy in the speaker telling them you're being lied to.

You're being lied to? You're being lied to by Mayor Eric Adams. This shelter has 300 cots in one room. You will have no privacy. You will have no showers. You have a hotel room with privacy and a bathroom in New York City.

Do not get off the bus. Tell them you want to go back to your hotel. Go back to New York City. Tell them you want your hotel back to your hotel. Go back to New York City. Tell them you want your hotel room back. This shelter has rats and cockroaches. This building is unsafe for you. You're being lied to. I heard that checking into La Quinta Inn, by the way.

Oklahoma City. You're being lied to. By your manager. This is not a four-star hotel. The continental breakfast is poisoned. The pool is empty. You're being lied to by your manager and your Jew agent. You're not wanted here.

Go to the Funny Bone in Dallas. A migrant who arrived outside the shelter with her luggage Sunday when the warning first started playing pulled out her phone to record it and then called an Uber and fled. Oh, my God, the poor chick. There she is, heading back to the Roosevelt. More than a dozen asylum seekers were seen leaving the site. Oh, it's working.

The scene of previous large protests attended by hundreds of residents as the audio blared Sunday and Monday. In my view, the use of legal psychological warfare is fair game, said Newsmax personality, Newsmax personality and former independent city controller candidate John Tobacco, who conceived the ploy to the post outside the shelter on Monday. The same message being bled from the speaker also is printed on flyers being distributed at Manhattan's Migrant Processing Center at the former swank Roosevelt Hotel by volunteers that work for tobacco. He said, oh my God. Oh my God. I don't know how. That's why I laugh when I see these polls. Biden leads Trump by one

or they're tied or whatever. This is going to affect everybody everywhere. Okay. And that's the key. It's one thing you have a bad economy hitching the wallet, but when there are people shitting, like at the supermarket you go to, and wandering around, and homeless, crime's going to go, you're fucked. Again, that's why the

elections have to be rigged. In even a half-normal society, Trump will be up by fucking 98 points over everybody. And we don't even know if he's going to be around. I can't believe the times we're living in. Tobacco said he came up with a campaign

after interviewing migrants at the Roosevelt. Oh, this guy put some effort into it. They were telling me they were being lied to, he said. They're being told, come, we've got air-conditioned coach buses for you. They're going to take you to New York, put you in a nice hotel room, and give you a debit card. And, you know, they thought they made it, you know, the American dream.

So that's what they're being told is the American dream. Come suck off the tit of the government, let hardworking white people pay for your, with their taxes, and hardworking whatever color, but let's be honest, we're still 68% of the, we're still 68% of the population of this country, and you're always saying how we have privilege and all that shit, which means we're making more money, so we don't fucking, real, real rich people don't pay taxes, and homeless people don't pay taxes. So that don't pay taxes so that's the american dream to come and suck up us then they're finding out through friends or social media or you know just word of mouth that they're not really welcome and hillary's like

i'm fucking here shut Shut up, whore. Jesus. Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about, you know, the company Moderna and what they did during the U.S. Open that will have you shaking your heads, showing how big their balls are. Also, I'm going to talk about a Burbank, California mayor who typifies everything that's wrong with this country right now,

at least as far as men go and politicians. We are a joke. We are a joke. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdip.com. That's nickdip.com. Aye, aye. Holyight. Aight. Holy moly, man. Hey, guys, let me ask you a question.

Head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts. That's not a question. I'm telling you. Hoodies and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look good at the same time. I'll have merch with me this weekend at my shows in Buffalo and Cleveland, and you can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nika shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, nickdip.com. Guys, let me ask you a question. Are you tired of wasting your money on testosterone

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It's number one doctor recommended brand by primary care physicians based on an independent survey conducted by IQVIA in 2022. Stuff works. They sent me a bottle. And like I said, my endurance, I noticed. I used to hit a wall about halfway through my workouts. And it does. It gives you a boost. Oh, well. I say we plow forward. Got a big day ahead of me. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Not if you talk like that, I won't, said my mom many times. Vice President Harris, you know that broad with the 18-inch neck and slept away to the top and proves that affirmative action doesn't work. And really just a silly woman who giggles at everything because she's got a plate in her head. Anyways, you know who I'm talking about.

She was taken aback by a question from a CBS journalist. It must have been an honest question or a real one. from a CBS journalist, must have been an honest question or a real one, wondering if she was taking the threat of another Trump presidency seriously. And can you imagine, again, I got to say this again, Biden's not going to be the nominee. This whore is not going to be,

unless that's really their wet dream, unless they, you know what? Oh, I just thought of something. They're like, she, she's as vapid and as vacant as Joe with his dementia. She's an empty vessel that we can make say anything. Oh my God. And they can say we put a woman of color and, you know, woman period as first. Because she really is as brain dead as Biden. She'll say anything. Right. They they don't do the thinking. They're a figurehead. So this is a watch her reaction when the CBS reporter and I'll tell you why I have a problem with the question to answer this. reporter and I'll tell you why I have a problem with a question to answer this. Are you taking the threat of a second Trump presidency seriously enough? I don't understand the question. Pause.

See her furrowed brow? Translation when she said I don't understand the question. She's offended. I don't understand that you at CBS, who chair the Democrats, don't ask such a question. In other words, what she's saying is, of course I take the threat seriously. She's such a cunt. Excuse me. But you've heard. Everybody that works for her says that. She's a beast. And how about this one for cbs face the nation going do you take the threat of a trump can can you imagine somebody on fox saying to a democrat do you take the threat of an obama or a hillary clinton president sarah's a threat that's how they label trump lady you need a spank and I'm the guy to do it

you goddamn right you know I don't like her a little whore and a little piece of don't go that far she's not a piece of trash Brennan that's her also asked the vice president if she was prepared to make a sandwich for Nick DiPaolo. Heavy on the pursuit. Krusty bread, provolone. She was prepared to be president. Uh, as a majority of voters are concerned that she's semi retarded. No, they're concerned about Biden's age. Um, yes I am if necessary, but Joe Biden is going to be fine because, as you know, I'm friends with Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill gives him a clean bill of health. Let me tell you something. She says, I work with Joe Biden every day. Joe Biden's my friend. You're no Joe Biden, you whore. Under Joe Biden's leadership, we have transformed and are in the process of transforming America's infrastructure.

You are? Are you really? Are you? What do you mean? You're destroying hotels by letting immigrants live there and they're going to have to rebuild them? Is that what you mean? Are you tearing down those racist roads that Peteete buddhich said those highways that were built in the 60s i could go on and on she says that's when you know they got nothing i could

go on and on but i won't because i don't have anything else to say liar liar whore liar whore you know oh come on uh i think but i think my theory, it just dawned on me. Maybe people already realize it. She's an empty vessel, just like Biden. You know what I mean? Again, Bernie. Who's the scarecrow bitch from Massachusetts, the Indian, Liz Warren? What's her name? Running shit water. That's the policies you're watching play out and she'd be perfect she's empty-headed slept her way to the top blew blew the uh san francisco mayor willie brown and became the you know fucking district attorney or I went to Attorney General of California. Please, my sister's ass. Anyways, let's move on, shall we?

Before I do, though, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com. Join to get my full show and get Stephen Crowder's full show. You're going to get Brian Callen, who's very funny. You're going to get Alex Jones. Still, I believe, on Fridays. You're going to get the Hodge twins, who I've had on this show before, who are great.

Two military black brothers. I mean, brother brothers. Are they twins? Yeah, that's the title, Nick, you fucking idiot. Who are more conservative than I am and who are pretty goddamn funny. So yeah, go there and join Mug Club now, will you please? And click on my button for tour dates.

You know where I'm going to be this weekend. I'll tell you again. Friday night, Rob's Playhouse in Buffalo. Saturday night, Santander, Pennsylvania, or the Santander Theater with Greg Gutfeld. And then Sunday night, one show at Hilarities in Cleveland with our old friend Nick Costa, who saved that whole, literally saved that whole block in Cleveland.

That's no bullshit. Great business guy, Italian guy from Brooklyn. Better shape than I am. He's like 80. I swear to God god it's scary guitar solo Outro Music