The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dem Kills Republican With Car | Nick Di Paolo Show #1277

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Russia falls apart. Ted the Traitor. Another violent Dem. A-pawling behavior. Spongebob busted. NEA pushes anal training.

Make sure to join me on Patreon to get extra stories each day. It's called the Nick DiPaolo Show Encore. And today I'll be talking about a rift between Jerry Nadler and Rashid Tlaib. I think she was a receiver for the Vikings in the 70s. She does not like Jewish people. She's anti-Semitic and he's very unhealthy. It's a very interesting story. You'll also get access to all the past shows, including

the encore shows, discounts on merchandise, and more. Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo show to sign up today. guitar solo Hey, this is Nick Zielinski. How are you, Ed? You're doing your Zielensky interpretation today. You look pickled. Great show tonight, folks.

Great show. The great Tony Fields, a very funny lady, comedian, and she's got one leg. She ate a lot of sugar. Boy, she's a horny pig. Well, that's what she's known for. Am I right, Ed? Dan Blocker, he played Huss on a show called Bonanza. And that's how my mother, who's from Salem, Massachusetts, has whores.

Huss. The Huss ate a lot of con. Shut the fuck up, ma. And Joni Mitchell. This bitch can write songs, but she doesn't shave her pits or douche. That's the show. Should be a good one. Anyways, how are you folks? What did I do last night? Anything? No. I do, I work out right here in this room a lot of days.

A lot of days, Dallas laughs because I go I'm working out right after the show and I pick up my bag and I go right out the door I say I'll see you tomorrow and he goes you work? I said get the fuck out of here it's so funny as you get older I mean I was a in my 20s five days a week

loved it and you know throughout college obviously I was an athlete. And then your 30s, and it cut it down to four days a week. And then now, man, you laugh. Because when you used to look at old people, what are their problems? Why are they limping around and complaining about their hips? Oh, I know now why.

Our bedroom's upstairs, but we have a guest bedroom downstairs in our house. I look at that stairs, it looks like Mount fucking Everest to me at like 2 in the morning and about to go to bed. I'm not shitting you. And what do I do? I go right in that guest bedroom. Best part, don't brush my teeth. Anyways, I haven't made it up those stairs. My knees hurt.

I got to be honest, though, the therapy, testosterone, my hips don't hurt anymore. I don't know why that is. I don't know why it affects your joints, but it almost makes me want to have sex again. What? What? Man, fuck you and your bone spurs. I didn't say my bone spurs. I said my hips, motherfucker. All right. That killed three minutes. Let's move on.

Real quick, I don't have this story because we already had this show set, but I get up, the first headline was about this FBI guy. His last name is Friend. I forget his first name. He's the guy, he's one of the whistleblowers. And he came out and came out to, he went to Congress and said, what we're doing, the FBI is doing unfair. They're targeting conservative people who aren't even at January 6th, some of them. And he was supposed to be working on this undercover thing, busting, you know, sex trafficking. They pulled him off

that, put him on January 6th duty, and he saw they were padding the numbers to make domestic terrorism look like it was an actual problem when it's not. And he says his conscience was, he couldn't do it. So guess what? Today, they take his badge away from him and his gun and kick him out of the FBI. take his badge away from him and his gun and kick him out of the FBI. Un-frigging-believable. It was in the Post. If you get a chance, read it.

Dude, that is Soviet shit. That is 1940 Soviet shit. That is unbelievable. This guy's reporting the right thing and getting fired for it. They call them AWOL from duty. Do you believe it? Unreal. And Amanda, what's her name? Amanda Devine, whatever, from the Post.

She's the one who broke the laptop story. This old, she's got an English accent. She works for the New York Post. I don't know how she gets all the scoops, man. It's amazing. But there's like 20 or more whistleblowers in the FBI now saying the same thing. Unreal, folks. Targeting people.

And what they did, they're widening the perimeter. When you're at January 6th, if you were a certain distance away, you were not considered. They're widening that after the fact. And actually going to people's houses and they say they're going to make more arrests. It is fucking, it made me sick to my, I can't believe this administration can't get over quick enough. Again, I'm so jaded. I don't know that it's ever going to go away. Anyways, that was pretty fascinating. So Google that one, folks. I just saw it before

I came on here. Anyways, I'll talk about another administration that's a deep doo-doo. Buddy Putin. I thought this guy was supposed to have cancer and shit. He does a speech. He's doing front handsprings. Fucking walking on his hands, showing off, playing a violin. He's doing front handsprings, fucking walking on his hand,

showing off, playing a violin. He beat up a horse on camera. No shirt, one-arm pushups. Anyways, Russians took to the streets and to the sky Wednesday in opposition of Vladimir Putin's mobilization order, sending reservists to fight in Ukraine as his threats of nuclear warfare intensified. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. By the way, so he conscripted 300,000 reservists, right? He also emptied some of the prisons. A lot of them are prisoners. Serial killers.

One of them is a cannibal. This was in every story on every platform. One of them is literally a cannibal. There's many serial killers in there to fight against Ukraine, which tells me they're not doing too good. good. The order, which would throw 300,000 more troops into the increasingly desperate fight, sparked a wave of protests across Russia and a run on one-way tickets out of the country. Here's Vlad, and I said, he's sitting at a desk, so maybe, who knows, his legs could be tapped. Well, this first one is the protest. Oh, I'm sorry. This is a protest. I'm trying to get the show over with.

No, here's the protest is being cracked down on. Roll them. One, two, three! He's chanting Russian Lives Matter. Look at it. It's like the Stooges. First of all, we don't even know this is from Russia. That looks like my cousin got thrown out of a Pearl Jam concert like a month ago. So don't be telling me. And why is Joe Girardi there on the right,

manager of the, well, he's not managing anybody right now. The mobilization came alongside chilling threats to defend Russian territory with nuclear weapons as the Kremlin planned to call a quarter of Ukraine part of Russia. See, he's got a wet dream about making Russia what it used to be back in the day. It's really, we all know what it is. A lot of them, people describe it as a, what do they call it, a thermal shithole. It's a gas station with nuclear weapons. Because that's what it is.

It's all energy. And their economy is smaller than texas seriously but this motherfucker who might be psychotic um this will be in russian and at the end he says and it's not a bluff those are his last words watch his dead eyes when he doesn't russia when they when russian sounds like a when you were a kid you make it up language doesn't it sound like Наша страна также располагает различными средствами поражения, а по отдельным компонентам, и более современными, чем у стран НАТО. И при угрозе территориальной целостности нашей страны, для защиты России и нашего народа, мы безусловно используем все имеющиеся в нашем A transcript from Friends.

The pilot. We intercepted Dragonfly Wolf dead. We intercepted Baker Mayfield. Here we are. We have them in sight. In sight. And the reply,

abort the operation immediately. That was somebody from Planned Parenthood. Abort the fetus immediately. Anyways, this guy, he's threatening, and he says no bluff, and I kind of believe him. I mean, look what he did to fucking Ukraine. So we have no reason not to believe him. And what he's upset about, we're providing, I read you the list of equipment, billions of dollars worth. So he's looking at it. You're

fucking encroaching on our shit. Don't just think I'm going to nuke Europe, you know, or whatever. Some of those are going to miss the target and land in Ohio. Who knows, folks? It's just what a time to be alive. Ay-yi-yi. I don't know what's sick of him or teachers telling kids how to rim each other, which I never had a problem. Well, after I get over a certain age. Eleven. What? Well, I went to Catholic school. Father Thomas told me it was fine. He said there was a lot of fluoride in ass cheese. What? I want to remind you that our country also, he says, has various means of destruction. Yeah, like we need to be told that.

Putin said in Wednesday morning televised address, when the territorial integrity of our country is threatened to protect Russia and our people, we will certainly use all the means at our disposal. You go fuck yourself, convict! With an icy stare at the camera, the Russian strongman added, it's not a bluff. Putin's threat to use nuclear weapons to defend Russia's territorial integrity comes as his puppet regimes in Ukraine prepare to declare the occupied parts of that country Russian territory. He's just trying to get it back to when they fucking had everything.

Georgia, Chechnya. All the Stans. All the Stans, that's right. Stan Mikita. Stan Laurel. I'm forgetting the baseball. Stan Musl. I'm forgetting the baseball. Stan Musial. For referenda, our plan this week,

that's plural for referendas, for the occupied provinces of Ukraine, Luhansk, Donetsk, and Zaporizhia, I think I got that one right. I was just fucking around. And Kursin, Jessica Kursin, very funny committee, to declare those provinces part of Russia. Boys, he's just a dirty...

What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? I don't know, Putin just made a national address. Such a vote would make the territories an irreversible addition to the country allowing Moscow to use any means to defend them, Dmitry Medvedev, head of the Kremlin Security Council, said this week. Encroachment onto Russian territory is a crime which allows you to use all the forces of self-defense, Medvedev added, who was once president, I believe, right? And this guy came back and said, get out of there. Fucked my turn again. Added on the messaging app, Telegram. Thought he did that

on Snapchat. Come on, yo. Anyways, yeah, you don't want one guy, you don't want bluffing. I mean, you want bluffing, actually. What am I saying? I don't know who's more dangerous, him? Who's more likely to hit the button, him? Or Biden, actually, you know, putting his coffee down on it? Hey, folks, Trader Ted, what does that mean? Well, it's the next story. Ted Cruz. As you know, I was kind of a fan, have been for a while.

But as you know, the last, what, six months on the show, I keep going, I'm sick of these guys that don't do anything. I always pointed to Ted and Jim Jordan, but Ted, because he went to Harvard, he's really smart, even the libs are afraid of his intellect, and always says the right thing and shit, but then I noticed nothing ever happens. He's like a super, super smart fucking, and nothing ever happens, and like Dallas says, he'll put that tweet out which is just cover going look i'm pretending to work for you and uh well he fucking he might have just ended his political career at least as a republican senator ted crows has caved to the democrats on legislation

that would allow media organizations that would be you know abc c, CBS, NBC, radio, to create formal cartel. Anytime you have a, anytime you have media organizations, the word cartel, kind of rubs me the wrong way. To negotiate with big tech companies, which are already cartels, they monopolize. I thought, wasn't he trying to break them up? Maybe I don't know the whole story here because he says he's defending uh still defending first amendment whatever the fuck but it doesn't sound like when i read this to you but wasn't he was a big spokesman of breaking him up negotiate with big tech companies this is amy klobuchar's bill by the way several congressional aides and other familiar with the process told Breitbart News on Wednesday that he caved to Amy Klobuchar, this mama luke. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that?

I was still looking for the word slimy on my book. If Cruz goes forward with his plan to back and allow the Senate to advance the legislation, then he will immediately become one of the biggest enablers of the establishment media. That's the media we hate, folks. It's the left-wing media we shit on every day, the establishment media and big tech giants, which we know are far left. And he could seriously, so he's going to enable them to work together and, like it says, jeopardize his political future, I would think. Bye-bye, dickhead.

I should have taken a swing at him when I had a chance. I was at Steven Crowder's house doing his show in Texas, and he came in. In the kitchen. Glad I didn't say hi to him. Cruz, I was rifling through the silverware, Joe. Joe? Yeah, Joe. Don't, don't, don't. Jaw? Yeah, draw. Cruz, who had previously jammed up a committee markup on the Journalism Competition and Preservation Act,

remember, the title's always the opposite of what it does, JCPA, we'll call it, a few weeks ago, has now decided to give Klobuchar what she wanted after a terrific handjob at an Arby's, is what I'm guessing, and allow the Democrat proposal to proceed out of the Senate Judiciary Committee to eventually be considered by the full U.S. Senate, which I believe they control still, don't they, at this point? When questioned repeatedly about it on Wednesday, Cruz's office did not deny these aides' characterization. They said,

Senator Cruz is a fierce defender of the First Amendment and free speech and he will always fight to prevent Americans from being censored or silenced. By enabling these cartels, the mainstream media, to work hand-in-hand with big tech now, like they haven't been around to make it easier? Somebody enlighten me. That's what the Cruz spokesman told Breitbart fucking news. If you believe that. You're lying.

And you're a piece of shit. If you believe that, I got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. That's going to be blown up in about six months after the shit would let him to this country anyways the legislation does not uh it says the legislation does no such thing as as among the serious structural problems it has included no favoured nations clause i know what that is from show business that's when you do a show and they make a sign of no favours that means nobody on the show gets everybody gets paid the same it could could be me and fucking Richard Pryor and he's going to get the same. Favorite Nations Clause contained in it, which means that a group of media companies could get together on their own and negotiate a sweetheart deal with a big tech company, but that deal would not apply to every media company.

Are you shitting me? What the hell's going on out here? And by that wouldn't apply to every company. They mean Fox News and anything, even a tent conservative. Do you understand, folks? Like the bonds aren't strong enough between, like, I'll say it again. Somebody's made a decision. This country's going socialist slash mark, whatever the fuck. And it's up to us to fucking stop it. But, I mean, have you seen the college lineup football this weekend? What am I going to do? I'm part of the problem.

And, God, this new recliner, oh, it's made of baby skin. This show is entirely supported by you, the listeners, and again, a couple of severely retarded kids that have my basement licking stamps. Thank you to those who joined on Patreon this past week and those who made contributions. Please continue to do so, and I'll promise I'll keep working to spread honest and direct comedy

and commentary through this show here. Nobody else is. But you got to admit, folks, nobody talks like me. You can contribute at nickdip.com and I'll read your name on the show. Thank you guys so much. Now here's Bobby and his sissy doing when the bucket's full, dump it.

Take it away, Bobby. I can't even hear what you're saying. I just hear, another violent Democrat. What is this about? This one will make the hair on your sister's leg stand up. Huh? The North Dakota man who allegedly admitted to fatally, fatally striking a teenage pedestrian with his car because the pair had a political argument was released from jail on Tuesday after posting $50,000 bond record show. Let me repeat that. He ran over and killed a kid, and he's out on $50,000 bond. Now, you're going, at least fans of mine and people saying, there must be a black guy that did it, or what else would it be? No. It was a kid, well, I'll tell you right now, Or what else would it be?

No. It was a kid. Well, I'll tell you right now. Shannon Brandt. He's not a kid. He's a grown fucking psycho. Shannon Brandt. That's him on the left, the killer. 41.

Spent just days in Stutsman County Jail on criminal charges related to the death of an 18-year-old, Kaler Ellingson, before he posted $50,000 bond and was released, according to county jail records. Brandt stated that the pedestrian called some people and Brandt was afraid they were coming to get him. The document continues. Brandt admitted to state radio that he hit the pedestrian and that the pedestrian was part of a Republican extremist group. Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Biden.

Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? This is what happens when your fucking president and everybody that works for him and the fucking media label half the country as extremists and domestic terrorists, etc., etc.

Fucking blood is on your hands of this kid, you fucking jerk-offs. North Dakota Highway Patrol reported on Sunday that there was a street dance on Jones Street near Honick Street in McHenry. Goddamn, I had tickets to that. When Brant struck Ellingson and then fled the scene. Ellingson was rushed to the hospital. That's a kid on the right. Local hospital with serious injuries but could not be saved.

He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. I just want you guys to picture, again, reverse the stories. We're going to make a segment, you know, reverse the races, reverse the parties. Just think about it. Trump making a speech like Biden fucking did and accusing the left of being Marxists.

They're the ones who are really the terrorists. And imagine a Trump supporter in a hat ran over a kid who votes Democrat. You think you'd hear anything about Do you think you would be floating in it? Here, they don't even hardly cover it. It is an evil, the media is the cancer. Investigators later tracked Brandt to his Glenfield home, where they stopped him outside

the house and began talking, the affidavit states. Brandt admitted to consuming alcohol prior to the incident, the record show. Brant admitted to striking the pedestrian with his car because he had a political argument with the pedestrian. Nobody was even charging him. He just ran the kid over and believed the pedestrian was calling people to come.

Yeah, that kid looks like he has a crew waiting to beat you up. The fuck was he calling? His friends at Supercuts? Can you imagine that? Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. Exactly. Just reverse the parties, man.

This can't go on like this. Brandt was ultimately charged with criminal vehicular homicide and leaving the scene of a crash involving a death. Jail records show Brant was charged with driving under the influence, though a criminal complaint did not include that charge. You shit-kicking, stinky horseman who's smelling motherfucker, you. And the media hardly touches it.

I don't think they it touched it at all. If they did, it's on page 11 of the whatever because it was a fucking Republican kid. Just let that settle in, folks. Between that and the FBI coming out for innocent people, you're living in fucking Russia in 1938. And it's very cold. Somebody get my shawl.

Uh-oh. Excuse me. I lived in Westchester County in a town called Austin slash Newcastle. You guys in New York know where it is. Westchester County, a very nice place, 30 miles north of New York City. And there's a town called Pauling that's not that far away, a little north of me, Dutchess County. And something went on there. So I call this appalling behavior. Oh, come on. That deserved a real laugh.

I'm going to do that now. Anyhow. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Fuck you. You don't like a rim shot? I'm going to be speaking about rims later on. You won't believe. The supervisor of a small town in upstate Dutchess County

said this week that he's absolutely not racist. I wonder how many white guys have said that in the last fucking 40 years. For posting memes involving Harambe. Remember him? The Cincinnati Zoo gorilla, Harambe, shot after a child fell into his enclosure. So this guy put on his Facebook page. This was back when it happened, before he was elected to this polling position he is in now. I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon.

What kind of talk is that? You sound racist to me. But anyways, you guys remember this. We covered it on the show. I showed this actual clip and stuff, and it really bummed me out how this ended. It was a tricky one here, but of course everybody on the internet making the joke that this guy made. And again, this was years ago, right?

But because he's a white guy trying to run for... Gotta dig that shit up. James Schmidt, the Pauling town supervisor. What does that even mean, Dallas? Did you want to rehash the video so we can have context? I did. I'm just retarded

and get so excited to move on about the juicy parts of it. I skipped over because I'm probably going to say something worse than he did and get kicked out of this building. Anyways, you guys remember this kid falling in to the gut, and we all had the same question.

Dallas asked me before the show where are the fucking parents it's not like there was a rope that the kid jumped on when they weren't looking and swung out over the you know i mean took him eight minutes to scale down there how do we know the parents didn't put the kid in there kid might be a prick had it coming no uh but check this this is fascinating uh's going to drag the kid through the river quiet. I'll add. I'm getting all wet. Look at this.

Can you imagine you're looking down and that's your kid? Nice ass in the gorilla. Wrong or right? Look at the little kid, though, behaving. Dude. Oh, boy. look at the little kid though behaving dude oh boy and they shot the gorilla which breaks my heart because i like owls what am i now fucking jim hanna from the zoo i owls and this is my favorite animal on the planet the The fucking gorilla. Look at him. He's sitting like we would do if we're on a blanket having a picnic

in Harlem. You don't have to say shit like that. I'm talking, I'm not, I'm just saying. How can you kill that thing? How can you fight? But here's the thing. That's your little kid.

You don't know. He could just slap the kid and his head would come off. That's how strong the fuck it. Look at, he's got hands like Pat Ewing. Again, not to be racist. I'm just saying, look at the mitts on this guy. On this guy, like he's in a suit. This is the one that chased Curly into the...

I'm just saying, that little kid's there, right? What do you do? He could drown the kid in the next second. But I was saying to Dallas, we've actually seen... I'm not making this up, but Gorilla protected like a little girl, remember? It was fucking unbelievable. But you can't take that chance. But couldn't you tranquilize him? But maybe not, because if it's not instant death,

he gets a little nuts, and now he's going to Xanax him. He's acting like I do when I don't get enough sleep. Starts beating the kid senseless on a rock. Look how casual. It's like he's on the set of a movie. Hey, Bill, let me get you a cameo shot here uh so anyways so this guy the supervisor posted the image on his social media account uh may that wasn't this year right it can't be may no that's how fucked up by him six years ago wasn't wasn't last week dallas wasn't on may 31st and

june 1st of 2016 a year before he was elected on the republican conservative and in oh there's the word that's why they're going out conservative and independence ballots the albany times union reported on tuesday who the hell does he look like? The memes remained on his Facebook page until this summer when they disappeared, the newspaper reported. The gorilla's agent. No. The gorilla grabbed the boy, dragged him around the exhibit, as we all fucking saw. Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape.

That's the music I play when I come out of the bathroom after I... One of the images Schmidt posted showed a smiling white gorilla along with the words, pretty sure the white gorilla would have just have been tranquilized uh then he then he then he puts on this well he puts like he's a stand-up too soon he was assuming that he was going to get the uh that guy that's dr zayas from planet there remember the one with the leather vest from Chess King. Now, let me tell you why this is not racist, you left-wing jerk-offs. Other than he's comparing using guerrilla. But do you understand what he's saying?

He's saying the black guerrilla would get shot by the, meaning the cops are racist. That's why it's not. But we understand you guys are so stupid that just anything that a white guy who's conservative with his politics, anything, those buzzwords are enough for him to, you know, get canceled or whatever the fuck. But he's actually on your side saying black people, and by the way, that's a lie too. So I should get mad at him, not you limp fucks the other featured a black gorilla with an infant gorilla on its back and he says

if I throw my baby on stage at a concert will they shoot Kanye now that one this guy should be writing for me the fuck's going on here if I throw a baby on stage will they shoot Kanye Jesus Christ going on here if i throw a paper on stage will they shoot uh kanye what kind of jesus christ

that's a sick question you're a sick fuck and i'm not that sick that i'm gonna answer it again now this one's a little trickier why gotta be kanye um again saying you know black dude's gonna get shot he was making the baby reference, the kid. Yeah, but this was also an interesting one, just because wasn't Kanye all about Trump? Yeah, but not till later. Yeah, I guess you're right. Not till a little later.

But I'm just saying, again, kind of racist because he used... But it's a callback to his other one, so I understand. Whatever. The point fucking being... I'm voting for him again. I don't even live there anymore. It's appalling. Shut up.

I don't need that fucking heckling. That image on Schmidt's page had 70 positive reactions. I bet you most of them were from brothers. I doubt it. Schmidt, in a series of texts on Tuesday with the newspaper, said he didn't realize the memes would be seen negatively. Really? Now, see, now I'm questioning his ability to do his job. Really?

Even in 2016? And that he didn't, hadn't received any blowback following the postings. Well, that's because you had three followers. This shared post was not meant to be received in a derogatory manner at all. He said, well, again, I'm just saying, I see your point, but I don't. Because you've got to be aware of the times you're living in, and especially when you dress like you came from men's warehouse on a fucking Labor Day sale. A screenshot under one of the now deleted posts shows that a person

wrote that the image was straight up, first of all, we know anybody who uses the term straight up is a brother, Straight up disgusting and racist. And he replied to the guy, might have been a mistake. Who gives a fuck what you think? Now I'm voting for him again. How is this racist? Schmidt responded. That's why I like him.

Yeah, you push back a little. He said he had removed the post out of respect for our community. Ooh, who'd that be? I can't believe they killed that fucking beautiful gorilla. Did they show that footage? Huh? Somebody's got to help me find the dark part of the internet. Seriously, I always hear these gruesome things,

and I never see any of them now. Unless, again again unless it's republican you know doing something bad could be shooting them stabbing a baby to death and you know they'll have that all over the place anyways hey guys and girls i don't want to be offensive in anything in between there's a lot of that stuff make plans to come and see me on the road here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida.

Hope to see Aunt Colta there. That's where she lives. I went to her house. There was a girl doing a podcast, I know, that was working down there when I was working at a different club. So she knows Colta. She's at Colta's, staying at Colta's house.

I go over, I've met Colta many times. We have good laughs together. He never came out of our house. He's upstairs taking a nap. Son of a bitch. Saturday, November 12th, Snapper's Comedy Club, Fort Myers. Can't wait to see the logo. Sunday, November 13th, Sidesplitters Comedy Club,

one of the best clubs in the country in Tampa. And at the Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A after the show with VIP ticket holders. So grab them before they're all gone. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com or transgirlsyumyumyum.org. What? What do we got here? SpongeBob busted. I'll tell you, this SpongeBob really took off back in the day. And I told Dallas, there was a comedian named Tom Kenny. I don't know if he's originally from, I want to say he's originally from San Francisco. I don't know, but he was in Boston when I started.

He was living in Boston and really funny. He became the voice of SpongeBob. I don't know if he created it, too. All I know, he's filthy rich. He had something to do. I know he's the voice. Might have been an executive producer. Anyways, that's neither here or there. I'm still doing this show. I'm making $11. Tulsa police say one suspect's attire. Folks, that would be clothes, helped them nab him for burglarizing his neighbors. Authorities received reports of five different burglaries at the Waterside Apartments between July 23rd and September 13th. Most of the cases were similar where the front door was in, and electronics, guns, and televisions

were stolen. Right away, I think Amish, who'll be with me. I'll say it again. Other than the NFL and college football, maybe the NBA, where have you seen anybody do any good with that haircut? Answer is nowhere. It's what I call the I hate white people haircut. In several cases, the suspect was seen wearing, get this,

brace yourselves, I'm not making it up. Spongebob shorts and socks. There you go. Does this give you a little insight on his emotional level? I'm guessing he stole those two from a kid. When he allegedly went to sell some stolen items, listen to this, on Facebook Marketplace, those same clothing items were seen in the background, in the background of the photos. What's he got?

That's not a suit. Is that a diamond tattoo on his neck? Yeah. It is, right? There you go. See how that goes over at your job interview. Detective served a search warrant at the apartment of Edward Price. Oh, Eddie Price.

I know this guy. He stole my TV. Also known as Smack Man. By the way, Smack, S-M-A-C-C. Help me out way smack smacc help me out black people help me out on september 16th he was arrested for multiple burglaries i want you to get this this is how lazy this dumb motherfucker is he broke into apartments in his complex he's so lazy he can't get a car and drive a couple neighborhoods away to the white neighborhoods. Probably white people living in it. Anyways, that's

what they... How many times do you see a fucking sawed-off shotgun next to a pair of Spongebobs? During a search through his apartment, detectives located the SpongeBob clothing items in the man's dryer. Yeah, like he washes his clothes. Get the fuck out of here. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. You know he has a butler to do that. Multiple televisions, cell phones, iPads, tablets, guns, ammunition, internet routers.

I need one. And other electronics were covered in the apartment. Price was where he was staying. He should have done an ad. Price is a... I'm slashing Price. Price was staying. Many of the items have already been returned to the victim.

I want to know who returned them. Did they make them go knock on the door and apologize? Or did the cops do it? Yeah, exactly. Dude, I seen you at the pool, man. Price has been arrested for several burglaries. Louie had a good joke about that when I was living with him. When we were living in New York,

somebody broke into his car and stole his watch. And then like a week later, he was walking around in the neighborhood and he saw the guy wearing his watch. So he went up to the guy and he goes, can you tell me what time it is? And the guy was, and Louie goes, you got to push the button on the side.

Even back then, very smart. Price has been arrested for several burglaries in the past, but most of those charges were dismissed because he don't look like a Republican. No, they were dismissed because, listen to this, of a witness failing to appear. Maybe that's why his nickname be Smack. Again, my brother.

On the way here, and a footnote footnote anyways are you going to show up you know he threatened whoever hello hello hello where's the witness anybody there the tv station says prices are aiming has been set for thursday balcony seats are going for $5.50. FYI, the suspect's apartment was not located in a pineapple under the sea, which is the guy who wrote this article making a joke about Spongebob, I'm guessing. And to you, I say, you got to grow up. You're not a kid anymore. You're not a kid anymore. Pineapple under the sea. Anyways.

How can you be that stupid, though? You're putting your shit on social media. What the fuck? Might as well have your parole officer behind you going, we're slashing prices, Eddie. Anyways, finally tonight on Chucky's Laugh Hut, today's special, Bunghole Stew. Oh, Jesus. That almost made me self-throw up with that one.

I apologize for being gross. By the way, this is the person writing the article. This is how it starts out. I apologize for being gross, but it's necessary. You have to be shocked into recognizing the moral horror of what a part of the nation's largest teachers union is doing. It is unspeakable, but we have to speak about it. You just said it was unspeakable. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? Sorry, Jimmy. The words are my mother's name. The most effective work that the irreplaceable Christopher Ruffo, this guy does do great work. He's always exposing the libs for what they are. Christopher Ruffo, the work that he does, irreplaceable, is simply to get documents from institutions and post them in full to the web so ordinary people

can see what kind of corrupt, racist, or otherwise depraved people run the institutions, meaning the schools and everything else. His latest is from LGBTQ+, that has what? Well, again, fluoride in it. Caucus of the, they have their own caucus, of the National Education Association, you know, the NEA. Okay, that's, that's a,

NEA is a fucking federal, another agency, okay, folks? Which people have been talking about getting rid of for years because of shit like this, probably. The country's largest teachers union representing three million teachers nationwide.

Okay. He was the best guy around. Oh, Rufo. Yeah, I should have done that. Dear heteronormies, rimming is the act of licking the bunghole. I can't believe he used the word bunghole. I never knew what a bung was. What is that, Irish fast?

Licking the bunghole of one's partner. Now, when I say partner, I don't mean like in a square dance or you're a lawyer. Not that kind of partner. I'm talking. Or let the NEA link education website explain it in detail for you. So they're teaching kids, I'll just sum it up, to lick each other's assholes,

which I'm never a fan of. I never, ever. But this is how much I like pizza. I never, even I wouldn't look her ass unless she had Papa John's the night before. Delicious. Fucking bell pepper. Now I get the shits.

It's kind of a chain reaction. Hey, honey, just get the plain cheese next time. My tongue is killing me. Let's take a look at the video. Again, this, just get the plain cheese next time. My tongue is killing me. Let's take a look at the video. Again, this is going out to kids, right? Check some of this shit out. Tell by the music it's ignorant.

Planned Parenthood Toronto. Sex acts that don't get enough play. Team rosters. Yes! How are we going to do this? We're going to win this thing! Team rosters. This isn't helping people who are listening. Oh, boy. Now, go ahead. Go to the next part. I'll try to describe it.

They're wearing, one kid's got a paper on that says fingering. He's wearing that on his shirt. The girl, lesbian, says vaginal intercourse. Gay guy, lube boy. What's the guy on the left side? Sea salt? No. Anyhow, go ahead. Blow job.

Oh, man. Faginal intercourse. Pause. Now they're all sitting on a bench together. Guy's got a purple hoodie. He looks like he's Indian. Anal sex, it says. Girl next to him or guy. BD.

Girl to the left. What's that? Fluffing? I used to do that. It's muffing. Oh, it's muffing? Oh, it is. Like an English muffing? Nooks and crannies? I am on fire today. And then another kid with something.

And then a fucking real loser with a Superman t-shirt. His says masturbation. And the girl on the end says intercourse. And go ahead. Even last year, I'm never going to get to play. Nobody thinks I'm a team player. It's all like, why are you trying out? This is a team sport.

Oh, that's masturbation talking. I'd play with you. Yeah. Masturbation totally plays well with others. Pause. Oh, that's the kid saying watching porn. Masturbation totally plays with others. They're trying to be funny. And they're just losers in life. Seriously.

If I was going to be a Hitler, I'm starting with these kids. Nick, that's horrible. Now, here's a black kid, tall, I'm starting with these kids. Nick, that's horrible. Now, here's a black kid, tall, skinny. It says rimming. All right, can we get to the good, juicy parts? And I don't mean that, you know.

Oh, what am I doing? This poor guy is sad that he didn't make the roster as well as he shouldn't have because we talk about this all the time. They don't make teachers like they used to, do they? In case the video isn't sufficient, the NEA recommended resource provides this handy handout. How far is too far? There is no such thing as too far for these sexual radicals and the morally vacant allies they have among the core of teachers and in the media.

Let it sink in. The NEA, National Education Association, has produced materials encouraging school children to lick each other's buttholes for sexual pleasure and worse, it says. Bon appetit. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole right here in class Mrs. Jones yes you fucking faggot we should just show this whole segment when when can we have a backlash when is somebody gonna ask NEA chief Becky Pringle this broad is a chip on her shoulder, now that deserves a...

to learn about rimming and fisting and BDSM. And when is the Republican Party going to make an issue of this filth? That sounds like a fucking, you know what question, rhetorical. Because they're not going to. It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Put up some of these things. Yeah.

That's Becky Pringle, black woman. Of course, she's for it. Look, it says sex acts that don't get enough play, and they list it like it's ingredients, recipe, serves two or more. Get it? Ingredients, tongue. Serves two or more. Get it? Ingredients. Tongue. You can actually get beef tongue. Tongue, bum, dental dam, a shit ton of consent.

Again, trying to be funny. You people make me fucking sick. Now that's funny. Substitutions. Oral sex. Notes. Many people feel this recipe works best when all necessary pots and pans have been cleaned thoroughly beforehand.

What, do they hire fucking writers from fucking good times? If concerned about cleanliness, you might consider a shower before rimming. What if I don't want a shower? What if I like a nice stinky mud pie? Prep time, cook time, as long as it takes. Steps, get consent, dive on down. Oh, that's hilarious.

Use your tongue or mouth to stimulate bum hole area. Now, little Johnny and Jimmy are confused, and Diane. Throw in a finger. Again, this is for school children. Throw in a finger. Again, this is for school children. Throw in a finger if the receiver is into it. I was going to say, who are they talking about? Exactly. What are they talking about? Mike Williams?

Is that a guy? Remember to ask for continued consent. That's the only part I disagree with. That's not fun to ask for consent. You said dive down. I'll suck a puncher. Serves two or more anal sex. Condom or gloves. Bum. Lube. Fingers. Sex toys.

Penis. Why don't you keep going with that? Fucking knitting needles. Fucking nightstick. Carrots. A shit ton of consent. Substitutions., fingering or other penetration. Notes, go slow. It might take a while to get comfortable. Not with me.

That fucking thing's been opened up like a front door of... Anyways, go back. Yeah, I wasn't done. I can't read this one. Here you go. Prep time, as long as it takes. Some days are not good for anal sex. Get consent from all parties. I can't read this one. Here you go. Prep time, as long as it takes. Some days are not good for anal sex.

Get consent from all parties. How many people in the bedroom? Democrats? Libertarians? Republicans, how do you feel? You ready? Make sure that person being penetrated is relaxed. Well, that's what the pills are for.

Use a lot of lube. I'll use as little as I want or as much depending on how I feel about that person. Start slow. Fuck that. That's not fun. You get a running start. You go so fast that if you miss, you might break your dick up. Inserting one finger first and gradually building up to more fingers until it's like you're stuffing a bird on Thanksgiving. No. More fingers or a penis or sex toy. Remember to ask for continued consent. Again, I'm saying, why are they giving instructions?

We're not. Then I went, oh, that's right. This is for like fourth, fifth, sixth graders. So just think about that. Let that sink in. We are living,, if this is not Sodom and Gomorrah or fucking Rome in the final, I don't know what is. Anyhow, that's it, right? I got to do thank yous before I go for the weekend, ladies and gentlemen, because you guys

seriously are the best. To wrap up the week, I want to welcome and thank all of our new patrons at Patreon. That will be Matt Schaefer, Jeff Frazier, Jeff Green, Eric Thompson. Also, David Gashier, Eddie Godinski, Stephen Goddard, John Van Horn, Chris Duhl, Jan Appel, and Scott Ely, who all decided to support the show with an annual payment. If you guys sign up and choose to do one annual payment up front, you receive a 10% discount and don't have to deal with the monthly fee anymore. I also want to welcome and thank Pearson, who just signed up for our new military level, which is discounted for all former and active military.

They should absolutely, those are our friends there. For those of you that want to support, wait a minute, yesterday I said that veterans should get everything for free, except for this. Hold on, folks. I mean, come on, look at me. I'm doing God's work here.

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there were 15 new patrons in the last two days I've been in a good mood because the worse it gets out there the better this show is going to do and all the other shows so I thank you again very much don't forget Cameo.com

if you want me to roast a friend or relative go to Cameo.com and they'll tell you how to do it. Anything else, Dallas? That is it, ladies and gentlemen. You guys think and I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend. I'm out guitar solo Thanks for watching!