The Nick DiPaolo Show - Demented Dems in Denial #155

Episode Date: April 18, 2019

How many times must Barr say "No collusion"? NYC hemorrhaging people. Banks bite the alt-right. 

President Trump has restored the idea of America. Keep America great! Exclamation point. The Dow Jones made history today, closing over 26,000 points for the first time. This is a standout report. He's going to bring all these jobs back. Well, how exactly are you going to do that? What magic wand do you have? Hand me down the walking cane. Hand me down my hat.

I'm going to bomb the shit out of them. The collusion delusion is over. Yeah. You're fake news. Unbelievable. So dishonest. You're fake news. Unbelievable. So dishonest. Mr. President.

Mr. President. Pardon me, ma'am. Mr. President. Mr. President. That's enough. Put down the mic. So much winning. Everything he does.

Every day is NASCAR. The seats come out right. Donald Trump. Keep keeper of promises. And all it moves is just keeping time. Find the world. Did he learn that? Oh, fun. I am with you. I will fight for you. And I will fight for you.

And I will win for you. America is winning again. With your help on November 3rd, 2020, can you believe it's right around the corner? So are you ready? Let's go. Let me hear it. Make America great again. Thank you, Texas. Thank you. Goodbye, Hillary. Bye. Oh yeah! How are you folks? On a Thursday, a free show on a Thursday.

Thank you for joining us. A lot of news to get to. Don't forget, at the end of the show, big announcement about big changes here at the show. So stay tuned for that. A shout-out to Eglin Air Force Base in Destin, Florida. They made a delicious contribution at nickdip.com. We thank you so much.

Always thank the military. Somebody appreciates you. Not Nancy Pelosi and the rest of those douchebags. What's going on? Slow news day, huh? Keeps on winning. See that? That was a nice summation. That was a president.

That is a president. That's somebody who's a billionaire who didn't need this job. Could be playing golf right now, getting blown by I don't know how many Russian hookers. Didn't do that. Did he? No, he took the job. And look how he's been treated. Fucked up the ass by the media, fucking Democrats, everybody, and keeps on winning. And he won today, in my opinion. I'm not a legal expert. I'm not going to get into all that shit, but I'm listening to Ben Shapiro, who's a lot sharper than I am, Alan Dershowitz,

and they're saying that they wouldn't even, in order for him to have been guilty of anything, there would have to have been intent, as far as obstruction goes. And then there was no intent, and Ben Shapiro said, no prosecutor would have taken this case. That's how little evidence, as far as obstruction goes.

And ironically, Hillary, when she had that personal server, but she was let off the hook by fucking the dirtiest cop ever, James Comey. Remember that? Because she didn't show any intent. You don't have to in that situation. So she broke the fucking law. And you don't have to prove intent there. That's so ironic. And I hope, I hope William Barr, like you said, is going to look into that too. That's the part nobody's talking about.

I cannot wait. And again, do we have the balls in this country in 2019 to put the first African-American president in cuffs? You know, in a perfect world, that would be happening. And Hillary. And yeah, he was behind the deep state. Please, quit dog-styling me. She should have been in jail a year ago.

Anyways, William Barr, who looks like an old, tired Elton John. A straight Elton John. That's what he looks like to me. Anyways, he released his redacted report today. Congressional leaders will receive an unredacted version of the Mueller report. And it doesn't matter. You know, there were 7,800 redactions. It doesn't matter if there were 780 or two.

They want to impeach this fucking guy. The minute he came down the escalator, they've been on his balls. So it doesn't really matter. But here is William Barr today. This press conference, I don't even know why he did it. Didn't, you know, shine light on anything that we didn't really already know. Unless you're, you know, CNN and MSNBC and ABC and CBS and the New York Times and the LA Times. but boy, they must be, they'll never be happy. Do you understand?

It doesn't matter. There could have been no redacted. It doesn't fucking matter. Haven't heard from Adam Schiff lately either. Maybe he's working on his pencil neck. Anyways, here's a first clip of William Barr. As you will see, the special counsel's report states. Someone saved my life tonight.

Quote, investigation did not establish that members of the Trump campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities. I am sure that all Americans share my concern about the efforts of the Russian government to interfere in our presidential election. As the special counsel report makes clear, the Russian government sought to interfere in our election process. But thanks to the special counsel's thorough investigation, we now know that the Russian operatives who perpetrated these schemes did not have the cooperation of President Trump or the Trump campaign or the knowing

assistance of any other American for that matter. How do you know Roger Stone wasn't in there? Uh, yeah, did you hear that? Um, they're going shithouse on the left. All the redactions and this guy's a partisan and blah blah blah blah blah and the president's uh lawyers got to look at this uh document which they're allowed to under law and uh they didn't make any redactions by the way uh they didn't make any they didn't request any more redactions they left it as is trump has been open gave them everything they fucking wanted. Two years of bullshit and all this

stuff. And clip two. The special counsel found no evidence that any American, including anyone associated with the Trump campaign, conspired or coordinated with the Russian government or the IRA in this illegal

scheme. What did you say? Huh? What? with the Russian government or the IRA in this illegal scheme. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What did you say? Huh? What? Huh? I just picture Adam Schiff sitting in his, I don't know, his office right now in a fucking guinea tea.

I don't know why I picture him in a guinea tea. Just smoke coming out of his little fucking tiny head. Just totally bullshit. Ah. Are you saying he knows nothing about that he wasn't exonerated yet. It's going to go on and on. Clip three. After nearly two years of investigation, thousands of subpoenas,

hundreds of warrantsrants and witness interviews, the special counsel confirmed that the Russian government sponsored efforts to illegally interfere with the 2016 presidential election, but did not find that the Trump campaign or other Americans colluded in those efforts. or other Americans colluded in those efforts. After finding no underlying collusion with Russia, the special counsel's report goes on to consider whether certain actions of the president could amount to obstruction of the special counsel's investigation. As I addressed in my March 24th letter, the special counsel did not make a traditional prosecutorial judgment regarding this allegation. Instead, the report recounts ten

episodes involving the President and discusses potential legal theories for connecting those activities to the elements of an obstruction offense. After carefully reviewing the facts and legal theories outlined in the report and in consultation with the Office of Legal Counsel and other department lawyers, the Deputy Attorney General and I concluded that the evidence developed by the Special Counsel is not sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction of justice offense. obstruction of justice. Although the Deputy Attorney General and I disagreed with some of the special counsel's legal theories and felt that some of the episodes examined did not amount to obstruction as a matter of law, we did not rely solely on that in making our decision. Instead, we accepted the special counsel's legal framework for purposes of our analysis and evaluated the evidence as presented by the special counsel in reaching our conclusions. In assessing the president's actions discussed in the report, it is important to bear in mind the context. President Trump faced an unprecedented situation. As he entered into office and sought to perform his responsibilities as president, federal

agents and prosecutors were scrutinizing his conduct before and after taking office and the conduct of some of his associates. At the same time, there was relentless speculation in the news media about the president's personal culpability. Yet, as he said from the beginning, there was in fact no collusion. And as the special counsel's from the beginning, there was, in fact, no collusion. And as the special counsel's report acknowledges, there is substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency, propelled by his political opponents, and fueled by illegal leaks. Nonetheless, the White House fully cooperated with the special counsel's investigation, providing unfettered access to campaign and White House documents, directing senior aides to testify freely and asserting no privilege claims.

And at the same time, the president took no act that in fact deprived the special counsel of the documents and witnesses necessary to complete his investigation. Apart from whether the acts were obstructive, this evidence of non-corrupt motives weighs heavily against any allegation that the president had a corrupt intent to obstruct the investigation. Translation, the Obama administration a corrupt intent to obstruct the investigation. Translation, the Obama administration was porking him up the ass even before he became president. I hope that'll all come out. Hope Devin Nunes goes back to work and proves all this shit. And I will not be satisfied until I see the thick-ankled dog face in fucking shackles.

Ankles like a Clydesdale. Fuck her and everything she stands for. And Obama. Filthy, anti-American, worst president ever. You heard it. This dwarfs Watergate, okay? So keep on fucking with it. This is not going to satiate these fucking animals.

They're not going to be happy. Look at all the redactions. What are they hiding? Well, the redactions hide any grand jury testimony, any stuff that's still going on, investigations like Roger Stone, who's still in frigging, well, I guess he bonded out. But all that has to be redacted. So just keep that in mind.

But they'll never be happy. And Gerald Nadler, that piece of fucking garbage, he's on the warpath already. Nadler calls on Mueller to testify before House Judiciary Committee. House Judiciary Committee

Chairman, former fat man Jerry Nadler has officially called for Special Counsel Mueller to testify in front of the committee. As I have already communicated to the Department of Justice, I request your testimony before the Judiciary Committee as soon as possible. But in any event, no later than May 23rd, Nadler wrote in a letter to Mueller dated today. Nadler shared the formal request on Twitter between eating pudding during an attorney, General William Barr's press conference on the soon-to-be-released Mueller.

Nadler's request follows his public dismay over reports that the White House had been in close contact with the Department of Justice officials ahead of the report's release. Well, they get to look at it. Oh, there he is. Somebody pull the air hose out of his asshole.

Look at this fucking parade float. Thing is, he looks worse skinny. You know what's in his cheeks right there? Ah, shit. Human poop. Look at that skull. You want to hit it with a bat and about four pounds of candy would fall out of it. So he wants Mueller to testify. You can't handle the truth. You fucking pig, yeah? It is clear Congress and the American people must hear from Special Counsel

Robert Mueller. What do you think he's going to go in front of you guys? it is clear congress american people must hear from special counsel robert muller in person to better understand his findings now we all understand it's just fine those of us who can read we are now requesting muller to appear before the house teacher as soon as possible yeah well good luck with that you you need to shut the up Look at that tub of fucking, what are you living on? Birthday cake and fucking custard? Had an IV of sugar in his forearm the last 10 years.

Anyhow, they're going to keep going and going and they'll never be whatever, whatever. But do you understand how much worse this is than Watergate and anything else? And again, now we're done with this, even though they'll continue. But is somebody going to start going after the other side? I mean, you know what I mean? They ruined Carter Page's life and Manafort was a crooked businessman. Who gives a shit?

But how about all the other? They said there's a bunch of other people in his administration that had contacts with Russia. Who carter page who you talking about exactly um anyways i'd mark that up as another win but uh trump actually when they first appointed muller the special counsel he goes i'm fucked he said yeah do you want the picture trump tweeted yes there. There it is. Now, if I was a nerd, I would have been belly laughing, but I don't watch Game of Thrones. I'm a weird guy. I like pussy and sports and news. Not in that order. But apparently this is a Game of Thrones thing. Look, illusion of obstruction for the haters and the radical left Democrats. Game over. But it's not over, Mr. Trump, they're going to fucking,

they're going to drag this out. You know, that's their plan. The 2020 elections are coming up. And I really believe they created all this chaos. So eventually people, even who sit on the fence about Trump, are going to go, we can't take this anymore.

It's bad for the country. Well, yeah, it was all a hoax. That's what was bad for the country. But Nadler, may you die in your sleep tonight. And may your life partner find you in the morning wearing his robe with your initials on it. Waha. Hey, Cameo.com, folks.

Go to Cameo.com. Would you like me to send you a personal video message to maybe a liberal jerk-off friend of yours or your nosy neighbor or your fat ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, and I can ruin their lives in about 60 seconds? I enjoy doing it. Every morning I wake up, there's a bunch of them waiting for me. So you can go to nickdip.com or go to cameo.com and click on my profile. Fill out the information. Write the message you want me to deliver.

Within 48 hours, it will be delivered to whomever you want for a measly $90. I can either make or ruin somebody's day for you. Did two of them this morning. It's really fun. I look into my phone with my puppy eyes, and then I unleash my acid tongue, and people give me five stars going this motherfucker really ripped my sister a new asshole it's fun uh that's about all I have to say about the uh you know I've been running around and it relates to the big announcement at the end of the show but uh

let's get on to some other news, shall we? Because I'm sick of talking about the read. By the way, we're coming at you live. You know that on Facebook and YouTube and Snapchat. Do it live! I will. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy.

You know you want crazy motherfucking what, man? Oh,. So, enjoy. You know you want crazy motherfucking what, man? Oh, stop it, Dad. A man was nabbed Wednesday night walking into St. Patrick's Cathedral with four gallons of gasoline, lighter fluid, and lighters.

Police said. Hmm. You're fucking crazy. Mark Lamparello, 37 of New Jersey. That's a gindeloon from New Jersey. Guarantee you he's a lefty, a fucking atheist.

Entered the historic Midtown Church where I pray every Tuesday night. About 8 p.m. with flammable paraphernalia, but was quickly intercepted by a defensive back for the Giants, drafted out of Texas. Check around. He was intercepted by church security.

He turned around, but spilled some gas in the process, prompting the guards to alert counterterrorism cops stationed outside the church. I was really hoping it was going to be, you know, Ahmed Halal, Aziz Banal, and not some greasy

dumb fucking left wing. That's how left wing it is here in the tri-state area. Even the fucking gindaloons left. Again, I don't know this guy's politics, but you don't walk into a Catholic church with, you know, a couple cans of gasoline, Kingsford Light and Fluid.

He told the cops that he was cutting through the church. His car had run out of gas. Yeah, okay, so the Light and Fluid, what does that act as? The oil? You're the only guinea in New Jersey who doesn't know how to lie, you dumb fuck. When questioned, Lamparello claims simply cutting through the church to go to Madison Avenue because his van is strike two. He's got a fucking van. What kind of life? Think about this fucking jerk driving a fucking van. I guarantee there's shag carpeting in the back and a skylight. And I just guarantee it.

There's comm stains all over the place from him and his Eagle Scouts that he takes on the weekend. One question, he claimed he's cutting through the church at Madison Ave because his van, which is parked outside Fifth Avenue, ran out of gas. The NYPD Deputy Commissioner for Intelligence, John Miller, said at a press conference outside St. Patrick's, his story is not consistent. He lies more than Trump, this guy, the cops. What? So he's having conversations with the detectives right now. I think if you add to the events at the iconic location, the fire of Notre Dame this week,

which I didn't even touch on. When I found out it wasn't the campus of Notre Dame and the stadium, I wasn't interested. I was really upset when I heard Notre Dame was burning and I found out it had nothing to campus of Notre Dame and the stadium, I wasn't interested. I was really upset when I heard Notre Dame was burning, and I found out it had nothing to do with the football program and shit. I'm like, fuck it, who cares? In all the publicity that surrounded that, he said, Lamparello is a, get this now, hold on to your cocks, everybody. Lamparello is a SUNY, that's a City University New york student seeking his phd

in philosophy i guess he has the same philosophy as isis when you disagree with somebody burn this and has done stints get this only in new york as an uh uh adjunct lecturer at layman college a police source said a third gasoline can was later found inside Lamperello's van, along with a hibachi and 12 pounds of Italian sausage. Lamperello is known to police, according to Milley. He has two prior arrests in New Jersey for criminal trespass and public drunkenness, sources added. It is kind of creepy, you know uh the fucking world is full of he saw the notre dame thing and said you know i hate those fucking christians as much as uh whoever burnt it down but nobody burnt it down yeah i still don't believe it call me a cynic

they said you know short circuit blah blah blah uh I don't know what to believe. But they think it was an electrical thing, which could happen. I mean, fuck, the thing was built in 11 A.D. So I'm sure it's not up to code, if you know what I'm saying. Is this UL approved? Ah!

I think maybe one of the priests was banging a fucking 14-year-old, knocked over a candle, and up went, you know, a crown of, the fucking crown of thorns. That is perfect kindling to get anything going. Crown of, they saved that. I had to wear a crown of thorns. My dad, I got a D in math, fifth grade.

I had to wear a crown of thorns that night when I showed him my report card. Oh, my God, did that fucking hurt. Think I'm kidding? I am. All right. Anyways, just to let you know how fucked up a world we live in. That's the thing, man. They see the shit on the news.

I want to be famous, too. And he had those lighter things, those extended, you know, he had a couple of those on them kingsford a lighter and and gasoline so you connect the dots of course the cop do we have a clip of the cop talking i think we do at approximately 7 55 p.m tonight that's john miller individual uh pulled up in a minivan on fifth avenue holy it's uh it's the guy that killed the kid with the hoodie in florida but at 7 55 p.m the individual returns to that minivan takes out two two gallon cans of gasoline

a plastic bag containing two bottles of lighter fluid, the type of which you would use to light a charcoal grill or a barbecue. Thanks for explaining what lighter fluid is there, genius. Two extended lighters, butane lighters. The kind you'd pour on your girlfriend after she cheated on you. And enters St. Patrick's Cathedral. Yes, but in respect to him, he did genuflect when he came in, tapped the holy water on the forehead. I tried to drink that when I was a kid, he came in, tapped the holy water on the forehead.

I tried to drink that when I was a kid, first time I went to church. I didn't know. I saw it. It's a true story. I reached my hand in it. My mom slapped it away, and now she's in hell. Anyways, they, of course, when that story broke,

they're like, you think it's terrorist? Like, oh, we haven't, we can't say that at this point. Say it anyways. Fuck it. Got a couple of super chats for't. We can't say that at this point. Say it anyways. Fuck it. Got a couple of super chats. Super chats. Bring them at me. I need the $7 and a new tie.

All right. Forgotten Millennial says, loving the show, Nick. One of the last uncensored comics standing. You should check out the video of the guy moving upstairs while Notre Dame is burning. There's a guy moving upstairs. Who was it? Ryan, our former producer? Got a job over there selling hot dogs next to the

and boy don't the priests love the hot dogs. I have to check the video out. There's a guy moving well was he like moving furniture and shit? What do you mean? What does that fucking mean? I will check it out and yes I am one of the comics last comics stand but you know i'm wondering

how much how much it's gonna i'm gonna do a story later on how they're coming after chase bank is coming after righties now who they think are all right it's good if that's not a direct path to civil war i don't know what the fuck is i'll talk about that later another another chat yeah extremist says nick what are your thoughts on Alex Jones and InfoWars? I love the show. Alex lost me a little bit with the Newtown shooting and that whole thing.

But the bigger point is, and everybody calls him a conspiracy nut and all that shit, whatever. He believes what he believes and has the right to say it. And the fact that they're, you know, kicking him off YouTube and everywhere else, such a dangerous president, like I said.

And, but I love the show. I was actually interviewed on that show by Roger Stone. So I'm a fan because I live in a country where free speech comes first. At least it used to. But, and I like his voice. He's very soothing. He sounds like Bea Arthur with the fucking blue.

Let me tell you something. These motherfuckers. But yeah, I didn't get the whole Newtown, the shooting and stuff. But he even sort of backed off that recently after they came after him. People are trying to sue him for that, which is very anti-American. You can have any thoughts you want, crazies you want. That's the goddamn beauty of it. Some of us believe in the First Amendment.

Some of us don't. We need all the Alex Joneses we can get. Some of us don't. We need all the Alex Joneses we can get. Speaking of nerds, aforementioned nerds, I put up the meme that Trump put up from the game, the fucking Game of Thrones. I don't know.

Anything with an English accent, I can't follow. Do they have, Jason, you watch it? Nope. You don't watch it? No, I don't watch much TV. That surprises me. I can't follow. Do they have... Jason, you watch it? Nope. You don't watch it? No, I don't watch much TV. That surprises me. I think you'd be yanking it to that show. It seemed to hit up your alley.

No? Oh, I'm thinking of Ryan. Ryan must, right? Oh, yeah. He loves stuff like that. Too bad he's dead now. He loved stuff like that. Well, there are... Hey, look.

To each his own. You know what I mean? Nerds love... That's fucking fine um i love the sopranos as much as these nerds love the game of thrones star wars and all that shit i love the soprano i used to get excited like a little kid when the opening music would come on i would almost shit my pants and i was a grown man at this point. But look forward to it every week. And so I understand. But as far as Star Wars goes in sci-fi, I could never suspend my disbelief enough.

I watched, I watched, I got to be the only person on the planet who hasn't seen Star Wars in its entirety. I tried to watch it about four years ago. The first three minutes I was throwing up in my mouth. It was like a bowling trophy talking to a vacuum cleaner. It was just fucking dog shit. It just didn't do it for me.

I'm sorry. I'm so grounded on this fucking planet. And life's too short. I want to hear real people like Donnie Brasco, a cop who went under... That's as interesting as, as to me Star Wars. But I understand the nerds have to fill this void because they spent half their high school years stuck in a locker and they get bullied so much they have to escape to some faggy reality, which is fine. Our late great Ryan, the producer, on Friday nights, this motherfucker's running around with a plastic sword chasing his boyfriend.

I mean, Jesus H. Christ. Meanwhile, Al Qaeda, they're 12-year-old guys over there running around with real swords, chopping off fucking real heads. I mean, who's going to win in the end, folks? Well, anyways, I found this really fucking funny video

somebody sent. I don't know if this kid's acting or not, but this kid takes nerd to a new level. I don't know if he's being genuine in this video, but I guess there's another version of Star Wars coming out. When's that coming out, Jason? Any idea? I think December.

Oh, December. Oh, let me get my popcorn ready and my fucking shotgun. Let's get in. This kid's so excited about it and again i know i'm in the minority here i know people loved it even people who like real things like sports and news but uh watch this guy as he watches the trailer for the latest uh star. There we go. And let's do this. You get grape jelly on your cheek, you big girl.

Look at him. That's me watching latinohousewives.org. Is he serious? We've passed on all we know. Is he serious? He says he has a girlfriend they marry at the beginning. He's crying. He's crying. He's breaking my heart.

He's gorgeous. Gorgeous? It's the Middle East. Here comes Ryan, dressed like a girl. Oh! Watch where I crawl up! That's how Ryan spends his weekends. The whole fucking way! He's crying! He's crying! He's crying!

Jimmy! What happened to him? He's crying! We'll always be with you. Oh my god! I'll always be with you. No one's ever really gone. What? No! The Emperor? What is this? Skyward? Jesus! oh my god all right enough i don't even think he was watching the star wars trailer i'm telling you it was a steady stream of dick pics going across this there's no all vaginas he was frightened out of his mind

this please tell me that kid was acting oh my god i'll never pick on nerds again that kid's mentally ill i bet you his dad would be proud to see that i you know i used to get excited when the sopranos came on but i never shed a tear even when when Adriana was crawling in the woods like a dog and Sylvia O'Poulin on the back of her head called her a cunt. I was actually applauding at that line. But... Oh! Oh!

Only time I got that excited about a movie trailer was Terms of Endearment. I was a big Debra Winger fan, and I cried my eyes out when I saw that trailer. Jesus Christ, you poor nerds. I actually almost feel for you. Is it really Jay? Jay's here, by the way. Can we get Jay on the mic?

Jay, the guy who set up all this equipment, by the way, the brains behind the operation. Jay, Star Wars. guy who set up all this equipment by the way the brains behind the operation jay star wars as soon as they defy gravity i'm out you're like me you can't see for you it's defying gravity for me it's like angelina jolie beating up nine guys in a scene that's when i stopped going to movies so i haven't seen one in years. So you weren't a Star Wars... No. And I've actually been binging on Sopranos the last few weeks. Have you really?

While I'm editing, it's sitting in front of me. I just watched the Silvio and what's-her-name out in the woods. Adriana? Yeah. Just watched it yesterday. You fucking cunt. No! No!

No! Chrissy, help me out. He's a tough kid. He's a tough kid. I know, look, I know I'm in the minority, obviously, but I didn't realize there was that many fucking nerds out there. But then again, Big Bang Theory, they could have shot that in my kitchen.

I would have fucking closed them down on day one. That fucking shows about as funny as baby cancer. Got another super chat for you. Let's hear it. Jason Ramirez asks, any take on the season so far? Talking about baseball. Going back to Boston next month, any places you recommend? Go Houston.

Oh, now you're bringing it up. Yeah, Jason. What a fucking coward. You bring, I'll see you in October. Who's got the rings, bitch? Huh? Who's got the rings? That's right.

We're off to a rough start. It's called a hangover. We had to play deep, deep into the season after we disposed of your shit team who's really good, by way i saw the astros the other night and they are fucking scary good but there was scary good when we whipped your ass in the playoffs but um i'm glad you brought it up i see what you're doing it's a very passive

aggressive move but i will see you in the playoffs don't worry don't worry these guys haven't got their shit together yet getting a little scary but uh people are shitting their pants we're in the middle of april it's like an extended preseason. You know what I'm saying? I don't know why we get rid of Swi-Hart, but the goddamn Astros, they are fun to watch. I don't think there's any white guys left, are there, on the Astros? Half of them climbed over Trump's partial wall, I think, and filled the bullpen. But they are killer, man.

That's a killer team, and we're a killer team. Last night, for Christ's sake, we have a 3-1 lead in like the seventh, and fucking my boy Brazier, who was terrific last year, comes in and gives up a granny to a guy who's facing like the crush, Brett Gardner. Punching Judy hit her.

Hits the ball 361 feet. Would have been a home run in a fucking, it would have just cleared a Little League fence. I don't know why the Yankees don't stock their fucking lineup with all lefties. I would have nine for nine lefties. That porch, that short porch, it's a band box, man. But anyways, I'll see you in the playoffs, Jason.

I really believe that. But the Astros are really fucking good. Oh, here we go. Cocaina. Major U.S. bank shuts down alt-right accounts. This is the type of shit I'm telling you that's going to lead to Armageddon. Okay? Shutting us down on social media, television.

Now, going after our finances because of our political views. It's really pissing me. Chase Bank, which I have an account there. I might go down and shut it down today. I'll go in there wearing a Gavin McGinnis mask, see what happens. Get hit with a handful of pens. Chase Bank shutting down accounts of people

and organizations with controversial political views according to an undercover investigation by James O'Keefe, Project Veritas. You know this guy, this guy does God's work. He goes undercover at Planned Parenthood. He blew the whole fucking lid off that. And he's doing God's work. O'Keefe's latest probe found that Chase,

without explanation, abruptly closed the account of a political activist. This guy's not a political activist. He has a t-shirt website that, who wrote this? That it existed for 15 years in good standing. I don't know nothing about that. Yeah, you do, you rat ass. The guy's name is Enrique Tarrio, chairman of the Proud Boys.

You know, that's a right-wing group. Activist group and owner of a website that sells provocative political merchandise. Spoke to Chase... Provocative political merchandise. Make it sound like they're selling bullets and handguns. They're fucking t-shirts with anti-left slogans on them. Spoke to Chase representatives who could not explain why his business account was about to be terminated terrio recorded the calls and provided them to a project of Veritas let's take a look at the video this should send chills

up your ass I don't care how you vote I don't want to do business with anyone who does business with Steve Bannon or any of these alt-right that's that's project verity right right i mean as far as i'm concerned we're not connected with steve bannon we not connected standards and pause i'm just going to go out on a limb the guy he's talking to is black nick why does that matter because it does go. Would preempt such a relationship with anyone, you know, of Stephen's… Oh, definitely. Really? Okay. Definitely, definitely, yeah. Right, so, I mean, yeah, I mean, Chase is not involved in any, like, you know, alright… That's not what we asked you, stupid.

…you know, people or anything. I mean, I really can't name any names, but… He's missing the point. That's not what we asked you stupid Missing the point Shadow banning de-boosting, de-monetizing, de-platforming. Recent Veritas investigations have exposed social media companies muting conservative political voices, but now we enter a new frontier, finance, and similar tactics seemingly being practiced

by a major American bank. It's time to learn a new word. Debanking. So I mean on my end I'm talking about people like, I don't know, like Trump supporters for instance. The MAGA whatever, wherever the hell they, those types of people. I mean individually. Right, right. I know what you mean, but, you know, like I said, the call is being recorded and monitored, so I can't get political, you know, and

say, you know, we don't support these people or this, but, you know, any kind of business entity, you know, people that have, you know, just no moral I would think that a bank that I've had a relationship with for 15 years would be like the best person to do business with.

This is Enrique Tarrio, chairman of the Proud Boys and an entrepreneur who runs a controversial website called 1776.shop. He sells conservative merchandise, which is quite offensive. Nevertheless, if obscene words on T-shirts cause people to lose their bank accounts, Chase should be honest about it. They go through a certification process. It took three months to do. I told them what my business was about, which was an online store selling T-shirts, hats, coins. Processed with them without a problem for almost two months. I found a letter in my mail saying that the Chase Bank was going to close my account.

Called both Chase Payment Tech and Chase Bank. Both operators gave me exactly the same thing. I've never seen this before. I actually can't tell you why. Found that really weird, and I found the timing of it really weird. Yeah, so we have an alert that says accounts being closed by compliance.

Decision is not reversible. Only clear about account closure. Should be directed to the executive office. That's why you came here here hoping to find more information, but there is nothing that we can tell the client? So now, can you speak with the client, or do you speak with the clients, or no? No, you don't speak to clients. Of course not!

Yeah, they don't have anything. They won't discuss it, I guess. It's mind-boggling to me. I see nothing that indicates any reason why the country could close. Enrique was at one bank. The woman's like, yeah, no, it's fine. And then I think she sort of saw one screen and went, whoa, and got weird. That's what I get whenever I look at not just PayPal, but any of these things. Facebook, Twitter, they go, yeah, I know people there.

I'll look into it. And then they they come back going I don't know who you pissed off but uh something weird is going on I mean I've been working with Jason's November I've never seen this and that's just odd to me based on the information variety you've been with Chase for more than 10 years you've had a business account with us that's not new you haven't had any from your transaction history nothing looks out of whack as far as the order in which you've been doing your transactions or handling your business. So I just don't understand. I get why.

Top of business could be. I mean, I sell T-shirts. I get high on that. Enrique Tarrio finally found someone at Chase who gave him an explanation. I saw a pain problem. Weak as it was. on it, Chase, who gave him an explanation, weak as it was. So basically, there was just a lot of information that was inconsistent with your account activity that we later observed.

Now, is there something specific that I said that was inconsistent? Since account opening, we learned that your company's URL redirected users to the 1776 shop, which is owned by Fund of the West LLC. Chase has a relationship with the 1776 shop or Fund of the West and therefore couldn't conduct required due diligence. Okay, so number one isn't true. Number one, I opened the account.

And then number two, the 1776 shop has to go through a certification process through Chase. The reason for the URL that they told me that, oh, because they don't know what 1776.shop is, is impossible. Because they went through a three-month certification process on my website. Don't give me that. They looked at the code on my website. They looked at my return policy. They made a checkout page with my logo on a Chase server, on a Chase website. I have emails between me and the certification team with specific URL links to 1776.shop. Okay. Okay.

Okay. What we can do, what you can do is you're more than welcome to, you know, provide us your dispute, provide a summary to your dispute to what I've informed you. Mr. Tarrio says he took Nora up on her offer addressing all the concerns about his accounts. But when April 1st came, the accounts, as promised, were closed. The decision is not reversible. The decision is not reversible.

It is a move of the city. Yeah. Yeah, it's the definition of fascism. You're not letting somebody make a living because of their politics. This is fucking, there's no way this is not going to lead to civil war. There's no fucking way. You can provide your dispute to, yeah, I'm going to have to get a lawyer,

a lawyer up and cost me thousands and thousands. He opened the account with fucking Che. Oh, we don't have a relationship with 1770. Yeah, probably. You probably don't because you don't like what they stamp. This is unbelievable where this is headed. It's one thing to be booted off Twitter, you know, for a day or a month or whatever. But you fucking want somebody's livelihood because of

their political beliefs uh that's it's the definition of fascism and it's coming from one side folks not coming from the fucking right and there's no way it's not going to lead to a civil war in this country eventually there's no fucking way if you were working in a machine shop and uh you come in and uh your tools are missing you know and the guy that works three drill presses down has your fucking tools are you really gonna stand for it uh anyhow that's just more evidence of how fucking i don't know where we're headed man it's so orwellian it's creepy but um now they're fucking with people's bank. That's why, I'll let you in on a little bit of the announcement.

That's why I'm moving the fuck out of this state. You remember I got punched in the face by that bipolar psycho at a comedy club and her fucking complicit old man. I can't, they, the fucking ADA in that county doesn't want anything to do with it. They don't return my call. And then I get paranoid and, you know, and I'm'm like why is that but sent i i dealt with one woman then then her assistant

now took over the talk to her months ago and have sent pictures and forms that she has all kinds of shit uh evidence pictures of my eye and stuff haven't heard back in months and uh then i get all paranoid going you. Maybe they know my politics or whatever. That's why I can't live here anymore in this liberal shithole. You know, and a bank won't get back to me after leaving a couple messages.

And I really, living in this part of the country, surrounded by these fucking psychos, that's my first thought. Do they know my... I'm not world famous, but they fucking know me in the tri-state area. And if anybody gets a glimpse of this show, you know, I have my dentist pent up against the wall of the editor by the throat

and go, why aren't you returning my calls? Do you not like my policy? But it does. It starts to friggin' wear on you. And this is fucking outrageous. PayPal has already booted people off because of their politics and shit.

Not to mention all the stories have gone over with Google and so on. But this can only lead to either a civil war or balkanization. This country's going to break up into... Either way, I'll be living in Poland. That's a big announcement. I bought a nice summer home in Warsaw. I'm setting up shop there. We're doing...

Got a super chat to help the move. Okay. Brent S. says that black tie on black shirt is fashionist. I don't know if that's a compliment, Brent, or what. I think it's pretty sharp. I think I look like a private dick

working in a basement in Cincinnati. Thank you. Calvin Klein shirt fitted. Look at the shoulders on this kid, will you? He's in his late 70s. I'll come in. Ah! I just, something just popped.

Something just popped. Ow. Anyways, Chase Bank, I got to reassess my relationship with you. You seem like you're playing dirty. Fucking pull. Hey, go to nickadip.com, folks. Remember, I do stand-up live.

It's what I do best. Friday, April 26th. That's next weekend. Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, May 3rd and 4th, Aside Splitters in Tampa, Florida. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, The Governors in Levittown, New York. Friday, May 34th, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine. Saturday, June 1st, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass.

Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, August 16th and 17th, Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. Friday, October 18th, the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Friday, November 15th, Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. And then on New Year's Eve,

back at the Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. Go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information. Did you see this clip of this? The San Pablo Police Department has released footage from a recent incident in which they threatened to arrest a Starbucks customer after mistakenly identifying her as someone trespassing in the store. The footage taken with the officer's body cam shows police officers

approaching two Starbucks customers at a Starbucks in San Pablo, California, March 18th. One of them is then heard questioning the couple. Can you turn my headphones down a little or something? They seem very loud today. Telling the employees at the coffee... Too much. Up a little now. Testing. Right there.

Telling the employees at the coffee shop it identified a female trespasser. The male customer attempts to explain that the officer was mistaken as the woman they sought had already left the store. Okay, well, I just spoke to the employee, sir, is what the cop said, and they don't want her here either, the officer says of the woman, whom police later identified as Ms. Tomeo. Here's the video of the whole situation.

No audio? You're racist She ran away when we called Oh, okay Go ahead and go to Starbucks You're racist. I'm sorry she ran away when we called. Okay. Go ahead and go to Starbucks. Well, I'm sorry. Miss, I apologize. There was a miscommunication. No, no, no. You're going to arrest me.

Okay, you guys. There's nothing to arrest you for, miss. There was a miscommunication. There's nothing going on here. They said you're free to stay. No, no, no. I clarified it with them. No, you're not. Okay. You guys can have a nice day.

Wow. You guys are good. Yeah. It was, and that's what it was. But anything to make a cop look semi-bad. He got misinformation from the dumb Starbucks employee. And I was on the woman's side at the beginning of that when they were asking her to leave. And I felt for her a little bit.

But then after the cop explained it was, you know, a mistake. Now you have to arrest me. You see how quick she was to jump to the fucking anti-cop horseshit attitude? You know what? Get out of my country. No, it's a joke. Relax, folks. But it was a simple uh he got

misinformation from the retarded employee simple honest mistake and then you know and she's with uh i don't know why she's hanging out with the bass bass player from molly hatchett well fucking the drummer from zz top i don't know the fuck It's kind of an odd... You got like a 30-year-old Latino woman with a 70-year-old farmer from Iowa. I don't know what the fuck. Maybe that's her weed dealer. But anyways,

the cop, you know, was polite and said we made a mistake and shit. And you know what? Just be an adult about it. This is what we do in America. And say, you know, I understand.

And don't be so quick. Now you have to arrest me. No, I don't. I can take you out behind the dumpster and paddle your ass. Fuck you. So quick. No, you got to arrest me now. You're a cop.

You're bad in this country. It was a mistake. A lot of shit goes down, huh, between Waffle Houses and Starbucks and... I don't know. I thought the cop handled it professionally, and then she turned into a, you know, anti-American fool that she is.

Anyways, finally tonight. New York City's population dips for the first time in over a decade. International migration into New York City's five boroughs tape it off as more residents left, shrinking the city's population in 2017 and 2018, according to a U.S. Census Bureau numbers released on Thursday. Bye-bye. Thursday and, um, bye-bye. Excuse me. New York's population dropped, uh, 0.4, 0.47%, to 8.4 million. Oh, plenty of room to breathe now. Uh, by July, 2018, compared with the previous year, it actually dipped about 38,000, uh, a 0.45% decline from the prior year. The minute I read that, though, I'm like, that's total bullshit.

Because there's 22 to 25 million illegals in this country. We don't even know. What do you think? They sit down and chat with a fucking bureau guy when they knock on the door? How many people are living in here? Bente Nueva. Yeah, but it's a two-bedroom. Yeah, Bente Nueva.

You know these fucking numbers are low. And later on in the article, of course, it was, I was proven right. Overall, the number of residents in the five boroughs grew by 2.7% from 2010 to 2018. Net migration, which is the sum of all people moving in and out of the city has also just decreased in recent years. Yes. If you're basing those numbers on the people you actually talk to and not the ones that are hiding in the shadows

like I've been hearing about for the last 20 fucking years. Did you look under the bed in apartment 11B on the third floor? Where you can smell goat's head being cooked every night? 71 Somalians sharing a studio apartment. A few other major metro areas in the U.S. also reported declines. L.A. metro areas shrunk. Really?

Take a look at the 405 South at 5 o'clock and tell me the population is shrinking. It's growing like a tumor on Hillary's ass. In Chicago, declined by 2%. Pittsburgh and Cleveland, who gives a shit? L.A. County is the nation's largest county, which includes the city of L.A., Long Beach, and Pasadena, also posted losses in 2018 because of a slowdown in international migration

and more residents leaving. Well, that's going to change real soon if those pictures are real I'm seeing. However, city planning officials said a change in how the census counts international migration is likely undercounting this category, producing a lower overall number. This would be a good time to explain to us how they count. The Census Bureau's population estimate is likely too low, considering the number of new housing units built over the past few years. Does that count the fucking tent cities? units built over the past few years. Does that count the fucking tent cities? Are we counting

the 400 tents outside of Anaheim Stadium in San Francisco? This is so fucking silly. You know, please. Anyhow, Queens had their biggest drop-off in New York in 2018, with

nearly 18,000 fewer people calling them borough home and that was four Puerto Rican families which leads me to the big announcement folks there's two more people leaving the New York tri-state area and that's me and the

wife. Okay? That's right. We're finally leaving, and I'm reading this because I was getting a haircut when it was written. By an illegal, ironically. Leaving this liberal shithole. Moving to the great state of Georgia.

That shouldn't surprise you. You guys know I'm a northern redneck. People have called me that. And Georgia seems like home to me. Somebody has to put a stop to that Stacey Abrams. That gap too fucking idiot. And by the way, a few people call me bigoted and racist and shit. Yeah, I'm moving to a town that has more black people in it than anywhere you people live.

Because I like good jazz. What? Moving to the great state of Georgia where I can watch real football. Cannot wait to see that. But I'm moving there where the governor is a Republican and so is the mayor in my new town.

I'm going where I'm appreciated. Fucking New York doesn't deserve me. I've been saying it for years. I told you guys a lot of changes were coming and you saw what happened to Ryan. He got a little cute with another show. Tipping him off with trade secrets and actually looking for a job.

Well, you saw how it ended. Him saying the Hail Mary and me putting a fucking two in the back of his tiny head. Anyways, well, there's more. We have a gorgeous new studio down in Georgia. We'll be setting up all next week.

I hope you guys are listening. So there'll be no show until Monday, April 29th. This is the last show until then. We're moving, setting up shop. Now, here's the really important part. The show will no longer be live at 6 p.m. Are you listening? I'm sure we'll put this on social media too.

We will be streaming live Monday through Thursday from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. at Patreon. But it is an unlisted link that only Patreon customers have access to. So if you want to watch us live and join the chat room, you've got to sign up at Patreon. Patrons can watch it live or access the archives anytime you want to watch it. The only day the show will be free is Monday night at 7 p.m. That morning's show will be uploaded to YouTube and Facebook. In addition to the new studio, we also have a new team of editors and social media directors who are editing clips from the show and promoting it all over the internet all day long.

These guys are really great. They're going to help us grow the show to the size that it should be and it deserves. As far as Patreon goes, we are creating some new tiers, not really changing much, but just adding some new perks and making the tiers an even number. We will roll out those changes over the next week, so stay tuned for that. But that's it until the 29th, and there's a million reasons we're doing this. Me doing it at 11 in the morning, I have the news fresh out of the gun before. A lot of the people that watch this show and watch, they'll listen to Rush, and then they'll go on to whatever, Hannity, Levin, and I will be first,

getting the news first in the morning. And like we said, this social media team, they really know what they're doing, and they're going to be flooding the market all day with clips and teasing the show. So that's the deal. And I'm so excited to, you know, to be surrounded by people that sort of think like me. I'm not moving into a bubble by any means. This is a college campus down there.

So there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of people who walk around with rings in their nose and purple crew cuts and, you cuts and fucking assless chaps. So I'll have plenty of fodder. But the grits are to die for. I'm telling you, I actually bought a bag of pork cracklings at a gas station. I swear to God, on the back it had a picture of Dick Cheney clutching his heart. That was instead of the listed ingredients and how much fat was.

It's literally pork fat. What a country. What a country. But my studio is three miles from my house. I couldn't be more excited. So stay tuned for all that, folks. Again, I think we'll put it up in writing somewhere on social media, too. Jason, my friend, has just landed a job. of all give him a ride jason has been great

this fucker showed up and um jay's gonna come down and set up well you know we have to have jay he's the brains behind all the equipment but jason uh you got hired by a minor league website what is it it's uh minorleaguebaseball. I'm their, or going to be their new editorial producer, the position is. A lot of pussy at that position. So I technically work for Major League Baseball, which is pretty cool. He's working for Major League Baseball. He's not sitting home yanking at the Game of Thrones. He's covering the fucking Ottawa Ducks.

So he's going to, but congratulations. He can write his ass off, and he's a baseball fan. Couldn't be happier for you. So, uh, Ryan is dead. Um, no, Ryan didn't rat anybody out or anything. We were just looking for an interesting way to, to, um, kill him off. And, and, um, he was on Tinder last night and picking up some fucking, I don't know, some drug addict named Kevin.

But anyways, that is the deal, folks. So stay tuned. Again, NickDip.com and Patreon.com. You can sign up at NickDip.com for all this stuff. We'll make it really easy. But again, won't see you until the 29th. That'll be our first live show out of the new studio. I thank you guys for your support.

We're going to blow this thing up. This is the big friggin' move, okay? That is it. Remember, for the last 30 years, you guys have been thinking it. I've been saying it. You're very welcome. I'll talk to you guys real soon. Take care of yourselves. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶

¶¶ Bye.