The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dems Convention of Chaos | Nick Di Paolo Show #1614

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trouble at the DNC, Coach Kamala and more! Support the show and get 10% off your Pestie order with code DIPAOLO at https://www.pestie.com/dipaolo Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! See Nick, LIVE 9/27/24 - Wise Guys - Jordan Landing, UT 9/28/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 9/29/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour   

Music playing We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks! Hello everybody, welcome to the Mile-Managed Show. It's the Nick DiPello podcast.

How are you? On a Monday... Look at that fucking age spot. It's like a map of Italy. It's a bad answer. good to be with you have a good weekend I did I laid on the couch like I was paralyzed from the neck down I actually blinked when I wanted my wife to get me a piece of fruit yes for two for peaches three for grapes balls on this I know sorry anyhow what did go on over the weekend I don't fucking know oh if I a UFC fans that was

a good one out of Sonia versus do placey out of sign is trying to get his belt back. Du Plessis, the champion, defended it. Ended up choking him out nicely. It's like watching an LA cop during the riots. I just love that. I watch the early prelims. I know, how much time do you have, Nick? Well, I watch the prelims, and then I watch the main card.

But then the next night I have all the early prelims to watch and they're just as fun if you like violence you know I'm saying to you Red Sox split two in Baltimore again considering a bullpen is gone and we're still hanging in there putting up we put up 12 runs one night against They're like a softball team. Nobody saw it coming Anyhow Dallas had a trip Dallas. Where'd you go? Yeah, California left coast left coast he's shooting shit out there. He's living the life of a comic He's out there shooting shit catches a flight flight at 6am on a Sunday back. Yeah, it was terrible.

Yeah, who the fuck wants to be at an airport anywhere? Yeah, we were there for two days right outside of San Jose on the coast. It was pretty, but you know, half the people wearing masks, you know, half the people wearing tie-dye still. It was just, yeah. Yeah, Newsom told them to start wearing masks indoor again and a lot of people and they don't it because that's the obviously that's the People's Republic of California who take their marching

orders from minefury and it's they're just sheep they're dumb I call it West Coast stupid and it's so goddamn true they They've wanted this since the 50s. That's why it's been controlled by one party, the state of California forever. And you're gonna get good luck with that. Anyways, let's get going. Speaking of dumb Democrats, trouble at the DNC expected today.

As you know, the DNC convention kicks off. Don't forget to watch me on Crowder Wednesday night. And then Thursday night, we're covering live stream and the thing. I'm heading back to fucking Dallas again. Working like Sammy Davis Jr. in the 50s. Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to march outside the Democratic National Convention

in the Windy City in opposition to the Biden-Harris administration's support for Israel. Oh yeah, they back them like hell. Threatening to tarnish Vice President Kamala Harris' week-long presidential nomination fest. This is, guys, I have so much trouble covering this shit now because it's the biggest hoax, attempted hoax, well, since they said Biden still had his marbles when he got voted in it since the shooting of Trump. It is it is this

is the biggest fucking lie. Don't believe the polls and all the news and shit. Because remember, and I'll say it again, this country leans more to the right than you'll ever know. Okay, but the media and the internet will have you believe it's like 5050 when when it's fucking not I've traversed this country for the last 30 years and trust me even the immigrants that come here Fucking and do the right thing and get a job and shit. They don't want nothing to do with these. It's a Marxist Organization a coalition of mostly left-wing douchebags and Arab scumfuck Muslim American groups are planning to protest marches, planning two protest marches. The first and largest on Monday at noon ahead of retiring President Biden's evening appearance.

Oh, I can't wait till he tumbles onto the stage and shits his pants. And again on Thursday at 5 p.m. ahead of Harris's acceptance speech. The Democratic Party is the target and not Joe Biden as an individual or Kamala Harris as an individual. She's just as complicit as Biden is. Said Hatem Abu Daya. I say anybody with that name gets kicked out tonight. Of the country, yes. Everywhere, yes. The executive director of the Arab American Action Network. I get that. They have some tremendous highlights from beheadings and shit. They do super slumber.

What? Derka derka, Muhammad Jihad. I got it. Haka sherpa sherpa, abakala. Look at this. This is America, folks. That doesn't look like the Gaza Strip any other day in the last 30 years Anyways the director of the Arab American Action Network who cited her opposition to an arms embargo on Israel as evidence that her attempt

To see more empathetic rings hollow So see the people that started this whole massacre on October 7th. See they picked the fight that they they can't end now because baby said I'm gonna kick the fucking shit out of you and I'm gonna continue to kick the shit out of you and we're not going back and they can't believe it now they're crying hey he's hitting us too much I love it the fucking dirty filthy game hems have come home to roost. Game hems or hens? You can have a ham on your skirt. The protest coalition has been granted a permit to march within sight of the convention's venue but has been bogged down

by last-minute struggles over whether they're allowed to use a sound system and portable turlets, as Archie Bonk would say, in the park and also are seeking a longer march route. Oh boy you. Wait hold on yeah they want portagons? Yeah. Well if they're truly Middle East why don't they just wipe their hands? I mean they're ass with it. Dallas has seen this up close. You don't need toilet paper you get a right hand and then you make kebabs with it 10 minutes later. You have filthy people. Look at this, this is fucking, anyways,

can you imagine they're pissed? This is beautiful, because you know, Biden administration created this, and Obama and the last fucking, how many Democrats have been in office, now they're coming home to fuck up your party. And of course they're hiding this shit. I was reading today they they

actually have snow plows you know big dump trucks with snow plot using that as barriers like tanks to block you know the radius of where they're doing the convention and shit they'll hide it all just like when you know the Pope comes to town and they clear the streets of San Francisco whatever the fuck you're not gonna see it but let's listen to the jerk off who's organ. This is Abdou Dalla, kaka pupu, yaka yaka, El Mida, fucking shake. Shamrock. You're gonna talk about the complicity

of genocide Joe Biden and killer Kamala Harris in this genocide. And we're- Fuck you, you started it. We don't want you to do that. And that is an egregious violation of our First Amendment rights rights and so immediately we filed an emergency injunction to keep the city from being able to implement those restrictions on us

yeah is that right huh let me tell you something um you see you don't have a right to um You see, you don't have a right to, you know, turn it into CHAZ. Remember CHAZ? Is that what they called it? In Seattle? Or the Wall Street thing in New York years ago where they, you know, set up an encampment after the next fucking year. Yeah, they're not going to allow that. At least they say they're not.

Then again, in Chicago, the mayor will probably step in and help them out. Prick face. Nick, come on hey folks we've all been there you're lying in bed or you're taking a shower and a huge bug shows up out of nowhere get rid of it with Pesty they're the do it yourself pest control company that provides professional-grade pest control products at an affordable price take care of the problem yourself in just a few minutes. Pesty will even make you a customized treatment plan based on your

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we thank them for sponsoring the show today. Make me a sandwich! Make me a fucking sandwich! Watch your tone! sandwich make me a fucking sandwich watch your tone vice presidential come out vice president Kamala Harris on Sunday appeared to label former president Trump a coward quote-unquote imagine saying that about my boy what's your fat fucking mouth during a stop Sunday in the crucial battleground state of Pennsylvania can somebody explain to me why it always comes down to Pennsylvania? I don't feel comfortable since the last election. They're the ones who changed the laws on how they could vote.

Three weeks before the election, or two weeks, in the state legislature, which is totally unconstitutional. It's going to come down to them again, is it? Really? Let's listen to the dumb cackling who who is making me a sandwich leave it in there I don't give a fuck make me another one is stupid he's saying that's what Trump stands for. Well, what we know is the real and true measure of the strength of a leader is based on who you lift up. Pause.

Yeah, Trump didn't lift anybody up. Families had extra $7,000 in income under Trump. They're minus $2,500 under this administration. And don't forget, she was part of this. She could have stopped some of the shit by and did it. It reminds me of like when my sister, when I was in high school, and she was in, she'd get in trouble, she'd come home late from a party and I'd be up to watch my father yell at her, just like his soprano.

And you know, she'd make, my father make my sister cry, she'd run to bed and didn't look at me and go, what are you to stop it? The fuck, I'm Italian, I'm going to gonna snitch ping-pong-pong look at Waltz that guy is as gay as again Judy Garland shoot tree that fucking guy is as gay they've showed him on stage doing this and that oh my god anyways let the pig talk some more let the pig talk some more. That's what we see as strength. We know what strength looks like. That's what strength looks like. Yeah, apparently an 82 year old president who's been on a diap of it the last 10 years.

You fucking lying whore. Go ahead. Anybody who's about beating down other people is a coward. Alright, I can't take it. You fucking whore. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.

You guys, you're hearing what's in my head when I watch the news by myself, aren't you? Responding, Trump campaign spokesperson Stephen Chung said this this and I quote, I love this. This is a Trump guy. The Kamala campaign liars, frauds and cowards. She can't even do a sit down interview or press conference, not even with a friendly outlet because she's scared to death of being exposed for the coward and fraud that she is. You are correct sir.

Man, was that put well. Do you understand? She hasn't really been questioned. Oh she did release her economic policy right out of fucking Chairman Mao's book Price Controls which Nixon tried back in the day in Carter I believe. So yeah that's's good good luck to you with that approach can you imagine these people out there telling you that she knows more about the economy than Trump and she's leading in the polls all that folks I'm sorry that is absolute horse shit Trump won the last election I don't give a fuck you can prove it with a pad and pencil and They try to jail them this year and try try to kill them

So I'm pretty sure they're gonna do what they have to do And you people are out there gobbling it up you people who vote Democrat this whole joy thing You know She's as stupid as a bag of shit because it said so in the polls for the last three years even you guys didn't like her Now we're supposed to believe she's fucking Queen of the prom anyways who better to speak to a high school football team than coach Kamala Harris that's what she was doing this weekend why would you let hidden her near any alpha males what would she have to say to any guy that played football

you should be talking to soccer teams, the soy boys. That's right, you heard me. Got so many people I know have their kids playing soccer. I'm good. Hope he's great when he's auditioning for Broadway in a year, too, you big fucking girls. Anyways, here's President Kamala Harris spoke to a high school football team about what

it means to be gang banged. She loved it. No, I'm just kidding about what it means to be gang banged. She loved it. No, I'm just kidding. What it means to be a role model. Do you think you're a role model? Do you really? Because I know these young girls who are feminists are probably saying, I'm smarter than this bitch. Well, speaking to football players from El Quidba Junior slash Senior High School in Pennsylvania on Sunday, Harris spoke to the team like Vince Lombardi in pumps. She spoke to the team about how the United States, what does this even mean, was counting on them and their excellence. Can somebody explain that to me? Kids are like, I'm a high school football player.

I gotta save the fucking world? What are you talking about, bitch? That one reception is gonna do it. Yes. She looked at the tight end and said, if you block like you did last week, we are fucked as a planet. What the fuck?

Anyway, yeah, she's telling them, we're counting on them, and they're actually applauding the players for their ambition. Now here, listen to this, this just sums up everything. Matter of fact, in the first picture we showed, the Chicago thing, was that the one that had the LGBT in the background, or is that coming up? That was that one. All right. Anyways, this is her, and again, I don't understand why you'd let her within a thousand feet

of a football. And by doing that, and all that that requires, which is the hard work, the practice, working as a team, knowing that you will be undefeated even if you don't win every game, but no circumstance or event or moment. Did you hear what she just said? Even though you'll be undefeated if you don't win every game. Can I make that up? What if Trump said that or anybody on the right?

You'll be undefeated even if you don't win every game. So if I'm the general manager or the owner of the Carolina Panthers who have stuck worse than anybody lately, I would go, okay, we're identifying, because we're living in your world, as undefeated this year. Hand us the trophy now, the Vince LeBri. We're not even gonna fucking finish camp. That's the world this stupid bitch lives in. Hope my mother's not watching. She can't talk about women like that. The fuck I can't bitch. I don't say that to mama. Coke.

Anyways, she got more to say? A moment will defeat your spirit. I suck cock and I love it. yummy yummy yummy look at fag boy behind her look at him put two pom-poms and a skirt on him look at him do you know how much time he has spent in China have you done your homework on him am I covering that in this no we did my memory that he has a global company in Minneapolis that has connections to these these hidden secret police Chinese police stations in America one in Chinatown in New York City that we covered that his names on the and that he spent a ton of time,

he honeymoon in China, he changed, he made his wedding date the same as the fifth anniversary of Tiananmen Square. Just that alone would disqualify anybody, but not in today's America, apparently. What a creepy, he's got those Ed Asner I like them a less boys brows again I'm not saying he does that just I wonder if this is gonna make it on you know what Harris spoke to the high school football team and then took out a

can of lube and headed to the locker room and said who's up I want to punch your fucking lights out have spoke to the high school football team along with her vice president running mate miss Kim walls and her husband Doug emasculated Emhoff in response to Harris's comments several chimed in on social media pointing out that you can't be undefeated unless you win each game. Uh oh, retort! Oh god, the poor thing is retarded. She's retarded. Even if you don't win every game. Anyways, for you guys watching on mug club stick around for the rest of my show

the rest of you is go to nickdip.com and sign up to get on mug club so you can watch my complete show the great Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more and while you're there at NickDip.com click on the tour button you'll see September 27th I'll be at Wise Guys Jordan Landing Utah I've done a Wise Guys in Utah I don't remember Jordan Landing it maybe that's just if that's a second club or it's just the one and I wasn't aware it was in Jordan Landing anyways and the next ones at kabooms in Tehran right off the

September 28 29 skank fest Las Vegas and Nevada and I'm looking forward to it. I'm not a Vegas fan by any means but Joey list Big J Louie Gomez all the boys bobby kelly uh... they do this thing every year and it's going to be pretty huge and i won't be don't call me they said i'll be stripping this year

i suck all cut it out anyways also second half of the show I'm going to tell you about something that happened Columbia University. Look at the coffee stain somebody. Columbia University that hasn't happened in the history of Columbia I don't think as far as who's deciding to go there and also an NFL former NFL player actually from Massachusetts Somerville I believe played for a bunch

of teams in the NFL, former player. He did something on a plane that made the captain say, we got to bang a U-ie. This guy's a sick bastard. So stick around for that. Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall

I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall Wow! Thanks for watching!