The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dems Debate Debacle | Nick Di Paolo Show #1296

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Clinton, A Prophesier NY State Judge Overturns Mandate Fetterman Opens & Closes at Once Zeldin Destroys Hochul Another Fascist Social Platform   Want a wicked cool ornament? Visit Noble Intent Co. at www.etsy.com/shop/nobleintentco

Make sure to see me live in Florida, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Missouri. Okay, that's where I'll be doing comedy and leaving a trail of dead hookers. Get dates and tickets at nickdip.com and click on the tour button. guitar solo Oh, yeah. Welcome to the big show, folks, on a Wednesday. One more day. My goodness, my goodness. October goes by too fast, you understand? It's my favorite.

It just whips by. August drags out. I fucking hate August. October just rips by, man. I mean, you got a blank in the college schedules. There's already some teams that have played seven games. For as much as I bitch about life, I don't want to die yet. That's where we're headed, though.

Let's be honest. Hey, before we get going, I want to thank Sherry and Dan at Noble Intent Company. They make wooden, you know, wooden ting-tanglers. You know, ornaments and handcrafted stuff and that you can hang on your tree. And apparently they've watched the show a lot. Evil lives here. They'll be going on my bedroom door. Over my wife's side. What? Why do you got to take it?

Shut it. They do some great work. Do we have, you took pictures of uh look take a look at this first is that's joe making two babies cry biden ain't it let's go brandon sure look at the kids but here come the here come the ones that had me and dalish laughing our balls off you know my face is perfect expression for that. Like, look it. You're just enjoying it.

Yeah, I am. I don't look that happy if my wife was doing that to me. Of course she doesn't. You know, my wife says the romance has gone out of her marriage because I said, I don't want to kiss anymore. How about a secret handshake? Watch this. Check out Dallas got the treatment too. It's right out of Brokeback.

This is a movie poster. I can't quit you, Dallas. I can't quit you. Come on, man. Yeah, this is called the fucking con artist and the trucker. Look at that. So, again, Sherry and Dan, thank you guys. Really, really funny.

I would have put a dick on that cone, but that's my childish sense of humor. Noble Intent Company. What's that? W-W-Dot-E-what? That is Etsy.com slash shop slash Noble Intent Co. Etsy is E-T-S-Y, folks, dot com slash shop noble intent. And they have a customer that, Sarah Gonzalez. That's all I'm going to say.

Anyways, if I can ask, they already did us faves. I'm asking for more. Can you, we have to think. We've got to market. These guys know what they're doing. Sherry and Dan, somehow, I don't know, put a note in each gift you mail out saying, watch the Nick DiPaolo

podcast. With me doing this with Joe. Getting it on. Thank you guys so much. Evil lives here. That's actually my favorite. I already have Evil White Man, somebody gave me, from a Comedy Central show I did.

I love it. I was ahead of the curve. You guys are just getting called that shit now. I was breaking. I was the Rosa Parks of white devilness, if you will. So what happens is I seen you last night. World Series, when? Friday, though?

Let's get it on already. Get it over with. It'll be in November, for Christ's sake. My Bruins. That's all I'm going to say. My Bruins, and again, you guys don't give a fuck, but I'm a big hockey fan. I'll even watch chicks college hockey.

No, I'm kidding. Fucking. I do watch girls softballball though. College softball. Man, do they fit in those. Boy, do they fit in those pants. You know who said that first? So I checked it out. Letterman. Paul, do you watch the, and he goes, oh, I'll tell you. And he just like shuffles his cars nervously. And it's true, but the problem is half of them have cocks. But let's get on with it, I guess. That's all I got.

Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Oh, watch your tone and I might. And our shut up and make me a sandwich segment tonight. Former Secretary of State. Ugh, she's still, huh? Just like herpes. Hillary Clinton claimed Republicans are out to steal the 2024 presidential election in a video posted to Twitter. Her eyes and her face and her hair, she's crazier than ever. And she says they're literally out to steal it,

but doesn't give any details. Am I supposed to read an article or something? This bitch has been screaming about right-wing conspiracies since her and Bill stepped into the White House. And I got to give her this much? This bride is just bare knuckles. Fucking, I'll kill you. You got a list of dead.

They don't play, man. I don't know where the Clintons. Well, I do know they came. Fucking, she's from Illinois. He's from Arkansas. But what a dangerous couple. But listen to this stupid bitch. Right-wing extremists already have a plan

to literally steal the next presidential election. Really? You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. Oh my God, it's still on. See that? That is not from a load in her eyes, I'll tell you that much. She'd never had one of those. Maybe a tongue. That's actually a good picture of her. What's that, 40 years ago?

She only has nine chins in that picture. Anyways, you look good, Hillary. Take that, you dink. The former Democratic presidential candidate and 12-time loser, who's a yeast infection on wheels, added that the right-wing-controlled Supreme Court may be poised to rule on giving state legislatures the power to overturn presidential elections. Just think if that happens.

The 2024 presidential election could be decided not by the popular vote or even the anachronistic electoral college, anachronistic, but by state legislators, many of them Republican-controlled, Clinton said before her head spun around and green soup shot out of her fucking eyes, promoting Invisible, she was promoting Indivisible's Crush the Coup campaign. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! Not supposed to play that button anymore. Tommy thinks that's why he limited

his followers. Get the fuck out of here. I don't want you then. It's my favorite word ever. I used it on my fur... Whatever. I used it on my... when I got my first... What do you call it? Communion? I said, give it to me, you cunt.

According to its website, Indivisible is a grassroots movement of thousands of local Indivisible groups with a mission to elect progressively. That sounds kind of sneaky. Why are they Indivisible? Sounds like you're trying to steal the election. And if Republicans tried to steal the election i hope they watched you guys last time uh and rebuild our democracy what is this talk about

you're the ones who are tearing it down yeah fuck i can't take it anymore rebuilding it when trump left we had the strongest economy in the history of the country lowest unemployment in every demographic wall fucking wall street was booming friggin middle east was quiet he crushed isis that's democracy you dumb bitches not worrying about your pronouns and if a trans you know is comfortable in our gender studies class i mean what the fuck rebuild our democracy it's being ruined right now and defeat the trump agenda who gives a fuck what you think exactly spanky she actually looks like she has personality in that picture you know mean? It's a big wink because she knows it's not true. I'm sure there's an article out there where she explains what they're doing.

I guess I'm going to look into that, but you know, why? Am I going to read for an hour so I know she's full of shit? And you dummies out there who voted for Biden, which is about Teddias, okay? Again, you're supposed to believe that cocksucker got the most votes

in the history of the fucking, you guys have to be kidding. And then anybody who denies it is a fucking, you know, a traitor and a Nazi and a, how dare you? How fucking dare you? When all you did was question the results of the 2016 election, a four year investigation for Christ's sake. And the 2020, or the 2016 election. A four-year investigation for Christ's sake. And the 2000 election. Or the 2000 election.

With hanging chads. Who the fuck do you think you is? Said a black fella. It can't nobody be beating us the way we be playing like that. I heard that from an Alabama guy five years ago on the bench. I was crying. Then it said underneath, literature major. Anyways, Gilligard, New York State judge.

Let's move on. We'll stay in New York since Hillary, I think the thick-ankled dog face still has a house up there. God, am I glad I'm out of there. My God. Beautiful part of the country, I admit, but ruined by thick ankles like her. New York State judge, that would be a state Supreme Court judge, said, mandate this bitch. Hear ye, hear ye, the court's in session, the court's in session now. Here come the judge, here come the judge. Here come the judge. A New York state judge reinstated 16 fired sanitation workers

who did not comply with New York City's vaccination mandate issued in October of 2021, deciding they should also get back pay, which can I just put my little fucking opinion on? Let me tell you something. I don't even care if you're a state Supreme Court judge. You don't fuck with the sanitation guys in New York. I don't know if you have an idea who runs that little outfit. I guarantee you it ain't the Boy Scouts. It was actually a line in the Sopranos. I swear to God.

They probably can't, you know, they saw the judge at a CBS. How you doing, judge? You know, what's up? How's your wife, Diane, and your four little kids that go to Washington Elementary? Little hints like that. Anyways, the judge found, or he's just a good judge. The judge found the New York City Commissioner of Health and Mental Hygiene. I actually had a doctor with that title assigned to me

when I was fifth grade. I never watched. Health and mental hygiene's order requiring vaccination of city workers violated the New York Constitution separation of powers doctrine, was arbitrary and capricious, and violated the fired workers

equal protection and due process rights. I could have told you that with my fucking 2.4 on business administration. We almost done? I can't wait to go home and learn the rest of Stairway to Heaven. In a ruling Monday, Judge... Oh, that explains it. Fucking Ginzalone.

Judge Ralph Porzio wrote, there is nothing in the record to support the rationality of keeping a vaccination mandate for public employees while vacating the mandate for private sector employees. Again, it was just, you didn't have to be a genius or creating a carve out for certain professions like athletes, artists, and performers and streetwalkers that I use. What? Judge. This is clearly an arbitrary and capricious action because we are dealing with identical unvaccinated people being treated differently. Sort of like the law right now is treating people who vote Republican differently than that. You guys, you're not even listening. Being treated differently by the same administrative agency. That's right on the money. Yes, sir. How dare you bring up logic and reasoning. You really think you're going to make some people forced to get vaccinated and others?

I mean, Chad LaVeglia, an attorney for the plaintiff, called the ruling a remarkable victory for all the hardworking men and women who have dedicated their lives to serving the public. Really, can you imagine? You work your butt, you know, as a garbage man, basically, for I don't know how many years, you know, union, pension, whatever the fuck, and then they come on, beat it, take this drug that we don't, it's proven not to work. It is also a great victory for individual rights and equality for all New Yorkers.

Exactly right, my friends. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. A spokesman with the law department released the following statement to CNN saying the city strongly disagrees with this ruling as the mandate is firmly grounded in law. He just said why it isn't. Why it doesn't make sense. I don't care what the fuck it is. And it's critical to New Yorkers' public health, which has been proven to be false.

Shutting down all that shit only hurt people. Oh my fucking, who do you? You get nothing. You lose. Finally. Yeah. Waiting for the perfect situation. Who do you want? You get nothing. You lose. Finally. You can do this. Yeah. Waiting for the perfect situation. My, my, my.

That was good news. You know? With back pay. I know. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Somebody should salute that judge. I can't wait till Tulsa King comes out, by the way.

I don't know if you've seen the commercial. It's a series with Stallone. He's a New York mobster. They sent him to Tulsa. I don't know. Either to take over the drug rackets there or whatever the fuck. But it's almost like my cousin Vinny. You know what I mean?

You got a New Yorker from, he goes out to the middle of nowhere. It looks fucking, and the Sopranos writers are involved. By the way, I already saw a little bit of PC-ness that I didn't like, naturally. But I guess it doesn't get made otherwise. But Stallone, has he sat down since Rocky ended? You've got to hand it to that motherfucker. Somebody just put a clip of him on Instagram today.

Somebody filmed him getting out of his car in L.A., a Jeep, and he slams the door. And then he's got cowboy boots on with his jeans, and he takes his heel and pulls down his jeans on both legs. It was very fucking high. Looked like he wanted to punch somebody in the face. We have already filed an appeal. This is, again, New York City complaining about the ruling.

We've already filed an appeal. In the meantime, the mandate remains in place. So do as we say, cocksuckers, as this ruling pertains solely to the individual petitioners in this case, meaning sanitation guy. But I got to believe it's going to apply to everybody, right, eventually? We continue to review the court's decision, which conflicts with numerous other rulings. Yeah, but it doesn't conflict with the science, the real science, not the one you guys are making up. Yeah, but it doesn't conflict with the science, the real science, not the one you guys are making up. And you can't treat two groups that are exactly the same differently under the law.

Rulings are already upholding the mandate. Did I already do that? I already read that? No. Oh. You get nothing. You lose. I haven't used that for a while or at all, so I'm doing it again.

Hey, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. We have microbe mini skirts, plastic hips, and rubber fucking tits. It's yet another way for you to support the show and help my wife with her coke habit. You know, and look good at the same time. You can also get my signed copies of my previous specials and all of the NICCA t-shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com and click on store. Thank you guys very, very much. and click on store. Thank you guys very, very much. I don't know what I've been told. Big leg whooping, got no soul. Dan and Cherry. Cherry. Cherry. Nick, what are you, 10? Yes? Anyways, Noble and 10. What a something. I'm telling you, they do good work. Anyhow, did you guys catch any of the debates?

There's only two that I was really interested in, and I saw some of the highlights, and I saw the funniest thing that ever happened in a debate in my life. I hope some of you people out there will appreciate if you're my age or even older, which is almost impossible. You guys are familiar when Chevy Chase used to make fun of Gerald Ford on SNL when Ford was president for four years. And that's all I could think of. Fetterman, you know Fetterman from Pennsylvania, the guy who always got a hoodie on, he had a stroke. He doesn't even look like a politician.

He's always in sweats. And he can't – he really suffered some cognitive damage. Anyways, here's the headline. Fetterman's opening and closing statement at the same time. This made me laugh so hard. I spent the next half hour, you know what, emailing it to all my, everybody on my, anybody I could think of that has a sense of humor. Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor.

I can't believe he's the Lieutenant Governor. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. John Fetterman, Democrat, running against, and I don't even like Dr. Oz. Because he came across as very rhino to me about six months ago. Bad-mouthing Trump or whatever. I didn't like it. And I think he's a farce. But so are all these guys.

Actually, Fetterman's more real, only because the part of the brain that lets you tell lies got burnt. John Fetterman running against Republican Mehmet Oz for the state's open United States. Oz, by the way, is a protege of, you know who? Oprah. So he must be for real. Isn't Dr. Phil, too? Who else? Mike Lindell?

I got the best slip bishop I've ever seen. Oh, Mike. I love Mike because he tried to defend the results of the election, which should have been. But that voice, I have to change it. And I like what he's about. He's a nice guy. He's a crackhead. But everything is the best.

That's why Trump loved him. Everything's the best that he makes. Look at these fucking yellow slippers. You're like, what are you, a fucking dick in me? Anyways, he's debating Oz for the state's Pennsylvania open Senate seat. The state's Pennsylvania open Senate seat. Open Tuesday evening's debate by telling the audience this. And a trigger warning, if you have any liquid in your mouth or whatever, spit it out now.

And again, all I can think of is Chevy Chase on a sketch, but watch this. What qualifies you to be a U.S. Senator? You have 60 seconds. Hi. Good night, everybody. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Can you do that again? Let's do it again. Then we'll play the whole clip.

God, this made me fucking die. What qualifies you to be a U.S. Senator? You have 60 seconds. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm running to serve Pennsylvania. He's running to use Pennsylvania. Don't say a fucking word to me.

I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. All Dr. Oz, when they came to him next, he should have said, no further questions, Your Honor. That's all he should have said and walked off the stage. Honest to God, he would have been, ever think about that? It would be shocking, number one. People would love you for your balls, and it would almost be warranted. This poor bastard, and I know people go, well, it's easy to make fun of yeah it is yeah it is that's how power hungry the democrat are you

fucking who cleared this who let this guy probably jill biden who else would say he's fine i have a doctor doctor's note. Yeah, yeah. I have a fake doctor's note. Who the fuck would let this poor bastard? I mean, he has... You're going to tell me there's nobody out there more qualified? Isn't Pennsylvania kind of an important... And I said to Dallas, and we both agree, it's almost like they already know they're going to win.

Like, the fix is already in. We're like, put anybody out there. Who gives a fuck? Or just the opposite. They're like, we're dead in the water anyway. I don't know. But Pennsylvania, they're one of the states that changed all their state laws. Remember to allow voting? Remember? They changed the state constitution right before the last elect. Made all kinds of changes like two to three weeks before, which were unconstitutional. And again, judges wouldn't even look at it. Oh, my God. Let's listen to the poor bastard. There's a man that spent more than $20 million of his own money to try to buy that seat.

I'm also having to talk about something called the Oz rule, that if he's on TV, he's lying. He did that during his career on his TV show. He's done that during his campaign about lying about our record here. And he's also lying probably during this debate. What we've got here is failure to communicate. Hi, good night everybody. My name is What the fuck? That's a Chevy Chase delivery

without even blinking. Oh my god. Fucking Dr. Oz. I want to see, why didn't they put the camera on him on that opening statement to see the look on his face? All of a sudden you see him reach down and adjust himself. They go, what are you doing, doctor? He goes, I got a hard-on right now. Fetterman, who suffered a stroke in May, is using closed caption technology as the debate as he has struggled cognitively since the stroke.

Yes. So the poor bastard, he's trying to read a teleprompter. And then that's all the excuses were by the media today saying, you know, it wasn't his fault and the Dems have said,

but, but, but, oh my God. They Dems have said, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. They're just so power hungry. I don't understand. There's no one else you could put in there? Nobody else could? I don't know. But if that doesn't seal his fate... Oh, I heard the Dems were fucking,

the higher-ups were crazy mad about after this thing ended that who approved this. Why aren't you guys paying attention up there? Oh you're too busy fucking lying about the Republicans trying to steal an election and once again accusing people of doing what you you guys are doing. But anyways it reminded me of my favorite, I find stroke shit very funny. I actually have a bit in my act about, and it kills me because can people relate?

When you're waiting to get board a plane, and you're in group five, and they're boarding all these platinum users, dildo stoppers, pickle wieners, and a gold club star member, group one. But they also say this. They go, anybody who needs a little extra time boarding. So I go into my stroke walk.

You've got to curl the fingers, and you go like this. Not doing it justice, but you do it. You curl your fingers, and I studied my uncle at a stroke for him and I got it down pat. You get a little drool right here. Next thing you know you're in an empty plane by yourself, you're on first. And then when you get off, when people come out and go, you were fine, you go, fuck you, and you start dancing, you run to your next connection. Anyways, where was I? What am I doing? Oh, again, I'm into stroke humor.

And so that was one. And who can forget? This will go down in the Hall of Fame. And I don't care. And I like Ron Paul a lot. And I know this is old, but it makes me, it tickles my funny bone. And he was great about it after. He was giving the thumbs up in the hospital bed. But again, I've seen Dallas drink at my house and this is what he sounds like we'll be talking about football and it has to be liquidated we have to get rid of that and it's a burden Is that the ball? Yeah.

What do you want, you ball fucker? It has to be liquidated. We have to get rid of that. That's a burden. We have to get rid of this. I'm trying to buy it. I'm trying to put it in. What we've got here is failure to communicate.

Oh, my God. Oh, you couple that with... How about at the end, he's like a little baby. La, la, la. Look at this poor prick going, did anybody give him a physical within the last 10 years? Oh, my. He goes, look what I pulled out of my ass. Oh, my God.

Anyway, stroke humor. I love it. Which, you know what I'm doing. I'm fucking with karma right now. You know what? About a month from now, I'm going to come on here. Dallas will be carrying me on my vegetable. I'll be doing the show with a fucking blinking my eyes.

And then we had another election that these are the only ones. We still have one more video of Fetterman. What am I doing? We have more of Fetterman, right? Oh, yeah, roll it. There is that 2018 interview that you said, quote, I don't support fracking at all. So how do you square the two?

Watch this. Oh, me? I do support fracking prove it and I don't I don't I support fracking and I stand and I do support What we've got here is failure to communicate. Oh, the poor prick. God, it's an embarrassed foreign. I know, I know. But I don't feel sorry for him in a weird way. I'm conflicted. Yeah, fuck him.

Yeah, exactly. No, you guys play hardball. You steal elections. You call us Nazis. You fucking pollute our people who have kids. You're fucking turning him into trans fucks. I mean, fuck him. I hope he dies tonight. Nah, then we won't

have nothing to show. I hope he wins so we can use him for the next... Anyways, Dr. Oz should have said, you know, they should have thrown it to him. And Dr. Oz should have said to the moderators, you know, I'm a doctor. I can help him right now. Want to take like five minutes? He could have used so many things. Or he'd

just cut over and he's doing this, doctor's like, big smile on him. Anyways, that's it, right? Any more Fetabins? And the other election was, of course, Lee Zeldin, who lives in Long Island, by the way. Remember, there was a shooting in front of his house, right? His two daughters were home. And he got attacked on stage early in his campaign, up in upstate New York or some bug way. But Lee Zeldin, Republican, New York, who's right now beating Mayor Hochul, the last I heard.

And by the way, she was never voted in by New Yorkers. Remember? Cuomo had to get out of there, resign, or whatever the fuck, and she was like the interim coach. And you know what? People would rather have Andrew Cuomo. That's how bad this bitch is. So they were sparring over crime, abortion, and the deadly U.S. Capitol insurrection, which wasn't deadly and was an insurrection.

Is that really her hair or is that the light? That is not the light. Okay, maybe. You know her. Anyways, all those issues took center stage Tuesday as New York Governor Kathy Hochul faced her Republican challenger, U.S. Republican Lee Zeldin, in the campaign's only televised gubernatorial debate. He's been bugging her to debate for a year now, and she only gave this one so she wouldn't look like a total chicken shit.

You guys, it's just, go get him, Lee. Anyways. Put him up. Put him up. Huckle blasted Zeldin's past support for abortion restrictions and for former President Donald Trump. What about him? While Zeldin vowed to repeal liberal criminal justice reforms and criticized Hochul's push to send millions to abortion providers, expand access for a predicted surge in out-of-state patients.

Kill them, babe. We'll send them everywhere, you know. It's no biggie. I'm a fucking evil genius. Yes, I am. Hochul labeled Zeldin an election denier all the buzzwords all the names do you understand that gets him votes for most not new york but you know uh election denier and climate change denier as she tried to link him to trump who enjoyed little support new york well thanks for throwing

that in we didn't know that here's zeleldin schools. Here's my boy Lee Zeldin schooling fucking what's her name? Hockel on her dog shit crime record. Question is, if you become governor, would you make policy despite the agency's findings? Well, listen, you ask the will of the people. They want to see reform. Even Mayor Adams says that judges should have discretion to weigh dangerousness. I don't think that if you're two Mexican cartel drug smugglers busted with $1.2 million worth of crystal meth, that you should just be instantly released on Castle's Bell. Now, Kathy Ockel supports Castle's Bell. As soon as it got implemented, she was out there bragging about it.

She chose the champion of the defund the police movement and the architect of Castle's Bell Brian Benjamin yeah that guy who got arrested and had to resign that was her first big decision to make him the lieutenant governor we need to repeal Castle's Bell we need to repeal the HALT Act a man raised the age and less is more we need to make our streets safe again I'm running to take back our streets and to support unapologetically our men and women in law enforcement. This is about all of us together, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, as New Yorkers, to make sure our streets are safe again, to make sure our subways are safe again. This is our opportunity two weeks from tonight.

We can continue with the status quo where they believe they haven't passed enough pro-criminal laws or we can take control of our destiny and make sure law-abiding New Yorkers are in charge of our streets again. You're going to eat lightning and you're going to crop thunder. Hochul gives the stupidest answer in debate history, excuse me, when Zelda mentioned something about locking up criminals. If this doesn't end her political career, locking up criminals. If this doesn't end her political career, never mind winning this fucking thing. This is beyond stupid. This is her response to what he just said about crime and what people want, they want a safe street, and bail reform. This governor, who still to this moment, we're halfway through the debate, she still hasn't talked about locking up anyone committing any crimes.

Okay. Anyone who commits a crime under our laws, especially with the change they made to bail, has consequences. I don't know why that's so important to you. All I know is that. I don't know why that's so important to you. You guys, you should be fainting if you're at home. to you. You guys, you should be fainting if you're at home. And I wonder how that sits with people who evict families, you know, who have lost somebody to a rapist. Somebody's, you know, been arrested 42 times. I don't know why that's so important. She just said that about the,

probably the most important issue in the country. How the fuck, and I'm going to say this again, now fuck red wave. I'm talking red tsunami. If even one of these races is close or Republican loses, I'm yelling fix. I'll preempt Hillary. Can you think of another time in this country, election time, where it should be, one side should absolutely slaughter the other like this? Have we ever had a president, an administration, be this bad for two years?

How the fuck isn't this going to be a red tsunami? Oh, that's right. You'd probably steal another fucking, you dirty, rotten scoundrels. Anyways, let's switch to me. It's about me. Hi, guys. Make plans to come and see me on the road.

Here's where I'll be, Route 16 in the breakdown lane, crying. Here's where I'll be, Route 16 in the breakdown lane, crying. Here's where I'll be and when. November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. November 12th, the Snappers Comedy Club, Fort Myers, Florida. The next night, the 13th, Side Splitters Comedy Club, Tampa, Florida. January 13th and 14th, Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. February 3 and 4, the Grove Comedy Club in Lowell, Arkansas. March 11 and 12, the Comedy Club of

KC. That's Kansas City, Missouri. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com and click on tour button for that info. I got some breaking news. Daryl Brooks convicted of killing six in SUV in Waukesha Christmas Parade.

So he's convicted of six. Yes, I heard that on the way here. And, you know, he's charged with 70 things. So they announced that when it happened. And they're like, you know, it's going to be another hour before they get through when it happened. They're like, you know, it's going to be another hour before they get through all these charts. And he tried to represent it. I mean, the guy's fucking insane.

And he says it wasn't intentional. Right there you go. You know, put him down. What do you mean, in a cell? No, put him away. Disappear him. Disappear him. Disappear him. Tell him.

I always think of Bobby Slayton's bit about, you know, clamming insanity. You can't give a guy, you know, if a guy's crazy, you can't give him the electric chair because he's insane. Well, if he's that insane, tell him it's a ride at Disney World. Yay. Yeah, fucking love it. Yeah, anyways, that guy ran over people. Anyways, remember how they reported it? The car bumped into some people. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's move on. Another fascist lefty site brags about killing free speech.

This isn't Republican versus Democrat, you guys. This is Marxism versus fucking actual people who are for democracy. Well, Representative Republic, what do you want to call it? Well, many conservatives complain about censorship on mainstream social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook. An alternative platform called Tribel, T-R-I-B-E-L, reportedly kicked libs of TikTok. You guys know what that is? That's this woman who started a site that shows how crazy liberals are. She started putting up all the trans shit and it became huge.

It shows how fucking lunatic they are. Well, they've been shut down on a few platforms. So they, they on tribal here, they kicked the libs of TikTok off in a matter of minutes. Let's see how long my account on tribalal, the new lefty social media site, lasts, Libs of TikTok tweeted. Breaking. It appears at Tribal Social, it appears at Tribal Social, suspended my account. I can no longer access it. I've tried multiple times to log in.

My account lasted less than 20 minutes. I'm being silenced, Libs of TikTok announced shortly thereafter. 20 minutes. How tolerant, huh? What does that tell you? Libs of TikTok reported that the message posted before being banned had included, this is what they put up to like troll them, right? Men cannot get pregnant, which is, that's not trolling, it's fact. All of this is. Joe Biden sniffs little girls and me and Dallas. And men cannot become women and women cannot become men. And this is what got them voted. You are correct, sir.

You believe that? Tribal bragged about ousting the account from the platform. That was quick, they said. Your transphobic posts were quickly suppressed by our system. And then we at Tribal Social Network gave you a swift boot. They're proud to be fascist fucks. Great news. Tribal just successfully fought off a wave of trolls that came over from the notoriously

racist and homophobic. How? How is that? Oh, when they show people who are insane, who think pedophilia should be mainstream, but they're homophobic and rakey. Fucking suck a dick and die, you cocksucker. Put that on the news tonight. I'm tired of this job. Kick me out of here. TikTok pay. Anyways, support posted on its own platform. Our algorithms identified their bigotry and suppressed their posts. In other words, we have algorithms.

Anything that goes against our narrative is considered hate. We'll define what hate is, and then we'll kick you off for hate. Exactly as intended, they said. And then they said this. you off, exactly as intended, they said. And then they said this. Something about, again, Heidi Fleiss being in New York. As all, as you all can see, God, my eyes are all going. None of the, none of their hatred, again, this is the site bragging. As you all can see, none of their hatred was able to trend on tribal, confirming tribal as America's premier social network for kind, intelligent individuals. They're anything but. They're dumb as a bag of shit, and they're not kind. They're

mean. We show how angry they are. And they're angry because they know everything they believe in is wrong up to this point in their lives. Now they've gone too far. They have to pretend. Keep up the front. And their army of trolls was given a lifetime ban. You believe, Alex? That's what this is about.

Virtue signaling. You listening? Yeah. Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? Tribal? In a tweet earlier this month, Tribal declared to all of the Trump supporters who are accusing us of censoring them on our new social network, we don't censor. Listen to this. Here is the logic that makes you crazy. We don't censor any posts.

Our algorithms simply filter out fake news, bigotry, and hostility. Well, who decides what bigotry and fake news is? Do you understand that's how six million Jews were exterminated, like people say? It didn't start with fucking ovens. say it didn't start with it fucking ovens it started with one political party taking control of the media and turning neighbors against each other and that's how it's it's exactly what the fucking left is doing and i'm embarrassed for my friends who still vote democrat i don't give a fuck anyways what dallas no okay i'm just gonna say the same thing is yeah turning people against each other first yeah anyways they're proud of it.

If you want a trend on our network, your posts, listen to this, must be factual. Are these real people or are these bots saying these things? And free of bigotry. You just kicked somebody off for their political. You're a bigot. You guys are big... I fancy it's going to be solved in the streets, okay? See that little gay symbol you made up there?

The fucking basketball going into somebody's crotch. I don't know what the fuck that is. What is that, a crucifix? You're all dead is my point. I got... That's a beautiful... Who put the... That took about, what, three minutes to come up with?

How about a girl or a guy? Oh, make it gender neutral. Okay. That's f beautiful... That took about, what, three minutes to come up with? How about a girl or a guy? Oh, make it gender neutral. Okay. That's faggot stuff. I agree, Kevin. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. That's right, Kevin.

All right, that's enough for today. It's 1.48. Right here on our share crate, right in front of my eye from the San Francisco area. That is it, folks. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Go to Cameo.com. Click. I haven't gotten a few lately.

I don't know what's going on. Anyway, I do know what's going on. Pork chops are $42 a pound. That's what's going on. What did I make last night? Oh, God, I'm cooking like a bitch again. Can't help it, folks. Don't ever get a pizza oven if you're addicted to pizza.

It really is fucking insane. It's three in the morning, I get downstairs with my robe and stare at the oven. And I have to talk to myself to go back to bed. That is it. You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. I'm going to see you back here, guess what,

for the final day again tomorrow. Have a good day. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man

I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man I'm a man guitar solo Outro Music