The Nick DiPaolo Show - DEMS in Love with NY Gov | Nick Di Paolo Show #323

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

Biden's a "digital" nightmare. WHO director praises Trump. Could Cuomo become the nominee? Thank you Derek R. from Sooke, BC for your "Ask Nick!" question and your continued support on Patreon. FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, it's Nick DiPaolo. You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of being told what is acceptable in comedy, what is not acceptable. I've never followed the rules because there are no rules in comedy. It's an art form, okay? I don't wanna be told what I can say, what I can't say.

I've been saying this politically incorrect shit my whole career, starting as an open mic in 1988. I'm not a Johnny-come-lately. There's guys out there who are taking credit for pushing back now against the PC culture. I was the original deplorable. You can look it up, okay? That's why we created the Nick DiPaolo Show.

We have a place where I can speak unfiltered. The truth. There's two types of people, politically correct and people who are honest. And you guys are like me. We speak, we call it like we see it, okay? And that's why the show was created. We recently went free Monday through Thursday at nickdip.com, which means we need your support.

This show can only survive with contributions from you guys. And you can also sign up at patreon.com. That's a monthly subscription. Either way, we need your support more now than ever. So it's very important to us. I will continue

to call it like I see it. Speak unapologetically, unfiltered, because the world needs it right now. You want Bernie fucking Sanders or Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden calling the shots? No.

In a perfect world, I'd be running the goddamn country. But we got somebody close enough, Trump. So again, thank you so much for your contributions. Go to nickdip.com. If you're watching on YouTube, just click that button right now

and we will continue to bring you the truth unfiltered and fuck anybody who doesn't like it. Talk to you soon. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Raz, what's the hurry? Let it play. We thought we would turn it down. No. All right.

All right. How are you, folks? Final, again, Thursday, final day of the week, My aching stem fucking just flying by. Is it? Anyways, great show ahead of us. By the way, I want to apologize. Anthony Comey, we had technical difficulties yesterday. Something to do with the Wi-Fi in here. Not our fault. So we're going to have I'm going to prerecord in this afternoon and we'll have it on Monday show. OK, call me is one of my favorite people on the planet i was very disappointed and uh so yes look forward to that on monday good to be with

you people man fuck you and your bones first you're gonna style me already run through a motherfucker face yeah that's what i say i just can't leave i just can't leave you're on that you're watching the show well uh we did our biggest numbers this week okay i i can't leave. You're watching the show. We did our biggest numbers this week. I can't thank you enough. You understand? In a time when nobody's working and I have to churn my own butter in the morning, it is a ball buster. it's so fucking echoey fucking not your fault razz i don't know what it is some days i can't okay joe biden's in the news again yes this poor guy should be put to sleep he's uh my dad could beat him in checkers right now my dad's had alzheimer's for about 13 years already this fucking guy semi-retarded when he had all his brains now he's embarrassing himself but this is a different angle not so much about him being idiot how about this joe biden accused of sexual assault then it says rape by former staffer i didn't get that when i read the article

i don't know what they're getting fucking uh rape but this is a big no raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. Last April, Tara Reid watched as a familiar conversation around her former boss, Joe Biden, and his relationship with personal space unfolded on the national stage. Nevada politician, you remember this, Lucy Flores, alleged that Biden had inappropriately sniffed her hair and kissed the back of her head as she waited to go on stage at a rally in 2014. Biden in a statement in response said that not once in his career did he believe that he had acted inappropriately. So you know he's lying. He's a politician. But Flores' allegation sounded accurate to Reid, she said, because Reid had experienced something very much worse as a staffer in Biden's Senate office years earlier. So we hear some audio of this woman. It's pretty disturbing. And I don't know why.

Oh, guess what? I didn't see it on CNN yet or MSNBC or ABC, CBS. But this is Tara Reid talking about what Biden did to her. And, you know, she said he was down towards the Capitol and he'll meet you. And so I went down and I was heading down towards there. And he was at first talking to someone. I could see him at a different distance and then they went away. And then we were in like the side it it was like the side area and um he just said hey come here tara and then i i handed him the thing and he greeted me he remembered my name and then it we were alone and it was the strangest thing there was no like exchange really. He just had me up against the wall and I was wearing like a skirt and you know, business skirt but I wasn't wearing stockings.

It was kind of a hot day that day and I was wearing heels and I remember my legs had been hurting from the marble, you know, of the Capitol like walking. And I remember that kind of stuff. I remember like I was wearing a blouse and he just had a story like edith bunker get to the point go ahead against the wall and the wall was cold and i remember he it happened all at once the gym bag i don't know where it went i handed it to him was gone and then his hands were on me and underneath my clothes and um yeah and then he went oh he went down my skirt but then up inside it and he uh penetrated me with his fingers and um he was kissing me at the same

time and he was saying something to me he said several things and i can't remember everything he said i remember a couple of things i remember him saying pause i know what he said hey where are we what are we doing go ahead first before like as he was doing it do you want to go somewhere else and then him saying to me when i pulled away he um got finished doing what he was doing and i kind of was pulled back and he said, he said, come on, man, I heard you liked me. And it's that phrase stayed with me because I kept thinking what I might've said. And I can't remember exactly if he said I thought, or if I heard, but it's like, he implied like that I had done this, like, I don't know.

And for me, it was like everything, everything shattered in that moment because i knew like we were alone it was over right he wasn't trying to do anything more but it's i looked up to him he was like my father's age he was this champion of women's rights in my eyes and that should have been your first red flag because all the guys that are champions of women's rights are the creepiest guys but you don't know that she's young he's old go ahead i couldn't believe it was happening it didn't see it seems surreal and i i just i knew i just felt sick because he when he pulled back he looked annoyed and he said um something else to me that I don't want to

say and then he said I must have looked shocked and he grabbed me by the shoulders I don't know how I look but I must have looked something because he grabbed me by the shoulders and he said you're okay you're fine you're okay you're fine and then he walked away and he went on with his day and what I remember next is being in the Russell building, like where the big windows are and the stairs by myself. And my body, I was shaking everywhere because it was cold all of a sudden. And I was, I don't know, I felt like I was shaking just everywhere. And I was trying to grasp what had just happened and what I should do or what I should say. But I knew it was bad.

Okay. And by the way, when she said he said something that I'm not going to tell you what he said, then later on in the interview, she agreed to what he said was, you mean nothing to me. You're nothing to me. That's what Biden said to her. And you can tell it's true because she's visibly upset. Or you can hear it in her voice when recounting this. And just keep an eye out on who covers the story, huh?

You know, I mean, see if you see it anywhere. But here's my take on this also. Since the Democrats really aren't happy with Biden, they can see he's lost his shit. I don't think they want him as the nominee. They'd be smart to put it out there right because they'll lie about anything to get power um but what what's even more disturbing of course uh you know biden's answer was i don't know nothing about that yeah of course uh uh but what's even more disturbing uh is a a prominent hashtag me to advocacy group with ties to a top Joe Biden advisor refused to publicize sexual harassment allegations against the former president earlier this year.

OK, everybody's so dirty. You're the fucking problem. You fucking doctor. Why? fucking Dr. White, onking, jam rag, onking, spunk, bubba. Time's Up, that's the name of the nonprofit committed to ending workplace and gender discrimination, was contacted by a former Biden Senate staffer in January. The staffer, Tara Reid, had previously come forward to accuse the former vice president of inappropriate touching while working in his congressional office in the early 90s that initial attempt to tell a story however had gone poorly with some reporters and media personalities again the most vile people in the fucking planet the media personalities using an old medium piece reed had penned praising russia and vladimir putin to dismiss the allegations outright everything's political the reed according to The Intercept,

was hoping Time's Up could not only publicize her story and Biden's alleged misconduct, but also help in pursuing legal actions against online harassers. She had some cause to hope the organization would take up the case. Since the launch of the hashtag MeToo movement, Time's Up had become one of the most important conduits for sexual harassment survivors to tell their stories. The group's public presence was only enhanced by its fundraising prowess. To date, Time's Up has raised more than $24 million from small-dollar donors across the country. The money has been used for legal defense for victims of sexual harassment at the National Women's Law Center in D.C. Shortly after contacting Time's Up, Reid discussed her allegations with the program director at NWLC. The initial talk seemed to go

well, buoyed by Reid providing evidence that she had informed friends and colleagues of the alleged harassment when it first took place. The program director at NWLC told Reid in January it was likely she could qualify for legal assistance from Time's Up. Now, here's what gets interesting. Despite the positive signals, Reed was soon informed that Time's Up would not be able to offer help. Sharon Tajani, the director of Time's Up Legal Defense Fund, informed Reed that getting involved with her case would jeopardize their status as a 501c3 nonprofit, which is an excuse. Okay. These people had ties to Biden because such nonprofits are barred from directly or indirectly participating or intervening in any political campaign in favor

or against a candidate for public office. To Johnny argued it was important for the legal defense fund to highlight reed's allegations against biden as long as uh as long as he was running for president imagine that son of a whore the reasoning provided though strikes many as insufficient cleta mitchell a partner for foley and lardner and a noted campaign finance expert told Breitbart News that a C3 advocacy was well within its ability to highlight Reid's allegations, especially since they have little to do with Biden's present candidacy directly. Further complicating the picture is that Time's Up itself is not-for-profit, is a not-for-profit 501c4 charitable organization that has very few limitations on its political activity

meaning that even if the defense fund was unable to help read the broader organization was more than capable adding to the cloudy reasoning for times up refusal to help read is that the group has ties to anita dunn you remember her worked for ob A high-profile advisor to the former president through its public relations firm, SKDK Knickerbocker. So because that woman, Anita Dunn, is involved, she put the kibosh on it. Because she's involved with, you see how dirty fucking, and in fairness to Joe Biden, 98% of these guys have pulled this shit. You know what I mean? Remember they had a slush fund.

We found out they had a slush fund. There was a black congressman who got in trouble with a woman allegations again. And that's when I was exposed. There was a slush fund that like senators and congressmen had put together in case they got in this kind of trouble. So, you know, you know, Biden's not the only guilty one. It doesn't make it right. But I'm just saying the bigger thing is the cover up. Will this come out? I think it might, because like I said, the Democrats aren't happy with Biden. This would be a perfect. It's more than just sniffing hair. And, you know, he digitally

penetrated a girl, you know, one of his young aides. You think, you know, Trump was accused of share. Remember a woman on a plane said, but, but, and it was all over the news. 24 hours a day when a pig Trump is. Ooh, he likes to grab women's pussies. The only one who does it, I think, is Mitch McConnell. I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me.

I never digitally penetrate anybody. Nobody wants to fuck me. I'm my wife. Anyways, we passed the bill. So let's see if that comes out. Let's see if it comes out, you know, in the mainstream news. I'd like to thank right now, this is very important, the one-time contributions that we get every day that keeps this show alive.

Without you guys, we're in deep doo-doo like the rest of the world. I want to thank Joe Lulich, Australia, Jacob Porter, Michigan, Charles Barker, Ohio. Vadim Koshnikov, New Jersey. Tony Tamburino, Pennsylvania. Matthew Autry, Mississippi. Joshua Mazan, New York. Kevin Kendrick, Maryland.

Kevin Donley, Maryland. Michael Miller, Arizona. James Bedrava, Wisconsin. Roger Nichols, Virginia. Israel Lopez, California. Ericva, Wisconsin. Roger Nichols, Virginia. Israel Lopez, California. Eric Berry, Florida. Anthony, call me his false teeth. Pennsylvania.

We got to talk about that today. Jordan Bonus, Michigan. Thank you guys for the contribution. It means the world to me. uh we have one monthly supporter from yesterday charlie vetrano charlie thank you you guys can sign up at patreon.com uh it's another way of doing it if you do that you get an extra story every day you have the uh capability to ask me questions and also you have access to all the past 300 and something shows that we've done i can't thank you guys enough and when And when I do live shows and I see people

with DePaulo podcast t-shirts and shit, it's what I've been shooting for my whole career. You know? We all went through the let's go to Hollywood and try to get on a sitcom phase, which is fucking silly, especially with my politics. But I always wanted to put asses in the seats. Live comedy

is what I do best. And when I see you guys with the apollo hats and shirts it means the world to me so uh thanks a lot speaking of money uh the white house uh white house and senate leaders now remember folks for you people who are a novice to politics the senate's made up of both republicans and Democrats. The Republicans have an edge right now. But the White House and Senate leaders reached a historic deal shortly after midnight Wednesday on a massive two trillion, two trillion coronavirus relief package for workers and businesses. The the total budget every year for the United States is $4.8 trillion. This is almost half the whole fucking budget.

That's a lot of fucking balloons. That's a lot of clams. That's a lot of smoke. You know what I'm saying? That's a lot of chet up in this motherfucker. Who whipped me? $2 trillion. Coronavirus relief for workers, businesses. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi offered

something of a tepid endorsement. What a cunt. Sorry for my French, but what a vile, just a power grubbing. God, will you go away? Somebody send her a package of Corona juice. Fucking witch. A tepid endorsement of the agreement after previously pushing for her own fucking legislation. But they got it done last night at least

in the Senate. So now the House has to, you know, now the House. So it'll probably go through tomorrow, I guess. It'll be official. I don't know, maybe tonight. I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are done. White House Legislative Affairs Director Eric Ulan announced as he left the office of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell near midnight. We have a deal. Here's Mitch. This is him running track in a suit. That's a baton he's going to hand off to some other crusty white fuck. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. I'll have to do my Schumer impression. He thinks this makes him look smart.

Fucking asshole. He said the bill amounts to unemployment compensation on steroids and that Americans who have been laid off will have their missed salary remunerated. The package will enable companies to stay afloat and immediately bring back those employees when things are safe. Democrats said the package specifically would help replace the salaries of furloughed workers for four months rather than three months first proposed. Furloughed workers would get whatever amount a state usually provides for unemployment, plus $600 per week add-on with gig workers like uber

drivers covered for the first time yeah it's a big fucking deal for you uber driver i've taken it twice in my second ride i was in an accident guy sideswipe fucking kid was high as a kite driving me still take it the package also would give one-time payments of $1,200 per adult and $500 per child directly to the public. Trump's not taking control of this? Goddamn right he is. The massive, listen to this, Red. The massive economic relief package would provide $367 billion program for small businesses to keep making payroll while workers are forced to stay home one of the last issues to close uh concern 500 billion with a b for guaranteed

subsidized loans to larger industries including a fight over how generous to be with the airlines given the democrats wanted them to abide by new carbon emission restrictions you fucking assholes they hate the corporations and hate the... Meanwhile, these corporations that they hate, these big companies, are the ones stepping up, making all the surgical masks. And who was it?

Ford? I saw a story last night. Ford, the Ford F-150 trucks, they're using parts from that to make ventilators, like the fans and shit. Only in this country. What other country could do that and that's not going to hurt business these companies that jump up once this is over people are going to go yeah you know ford was there when we needed them i'm buying an f-150 well they won't maybe let's get a fucking fiat who knows republicans also won i know i'm

doing a lot of reading today, folks, but come on. This is, you know, can't all be tits and pussy. We'll get down a few minutes. Matter of fact, I need a breather right now. I need some R&B for my favorite R&B fucking singer in the world. Hit it, brother man. It's getting better all the time now. You make me tingle, make me sweat, baby.

Make me do it, make me sweat, baby. Make me do it. Make me all the best. I'ma tell you how to work it, baby. Harder, faster, slower. Bigger, faster, slower. Now I do it wider, up and down and lower, baby. Son of a whore!

That guy, we thought he was just a jerk off in his bedroom playing around, and then Raz did some research. How many fucking Instagram followers? A million and a half? 500,000 on Instagram. A half million. One and a half on Facebook.

One and a half million. Oh, fuck it. I'm making fun of this kid. Why does he have a fucking voice like Ike Turner, but he looks like comedian Joe List? like Ike Turner, but he looks like comedian Joe List. Republicans also want inclusion of an employee retention tax credit that estimated to provide $50 billion to companies that retain employees on payroll and cover 50% of workers' paychecks.

Companies would also be able to defer payment of the 6.2% Social Security payroll tax. All this shit I really don't understand. Other provisions, according to a summary, include $100 billion for direct aid to health care institutions battling the crisis, more than $4 billion to health agencies, $200 million to help nursing homes cope with the challenge, $45 billion for FEMA's disaster relief fund, and millions more for FEMA grants, $400 million in election assistance to help states expand early voting and vote by mail options in a letter to his colleagues chuck the liar fucking i love the camera schumer democrats are ready to give our unanimous consent to speed up

the consideration of the bill and get the job done oh Oh, are you? After you get all that bad publicity with all the stupid liberal wish lists that Pelosi put in there and you delayed it, now you're trying to cover your ass. He says that means if there are no objections from Republicans, he's making it sound like they're the one. You are the slimiest cocksucker on the planet. The Senate could clear the bill

without a formal roll call vote. Parliamentarily, that is the fastest way to move something on the floor. Yeah, it could have been done two days ago. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I loved it, though. A senior Republican aide busted, called Chuck Schumer on his bullshit. He said, reading Chuck Schumer's list, I half expected the next thing I would read would be him taking credit for inventing fire.

Boy, they're funny, those Republicans, aren't they? The reality is that almost every significant win he's taken credit for is actually a Senate Republican idea. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? Yeah. Money. What the fuck? around oh you'd rather have it down at the bank where the jewish guys can leer at it yeah i love my own show republicans had never objected to more hospital funding or that oversight of the stimulus stabilization fund be structured almost exactly like tarp oversight the aid went on and republicans were the first to push for three months of unemployment insurance and did not oppose adding a fourth

schumer you're just a slimy freaking rat bastard you talk about swamp people he's trying to take trying to take credit for shit the republicans and that's because pelosi came back a couple days ago from wherever she was remember they were this close to closing the deal and she threw on that whistler some i bet you aoc sent it to her i do not like you far left liberal jerk offs and by the way there are no more moderate democrats they're all far left they hate this country with a passion and i'm fucking tired of it. Show me where they

play softball. What does that mean, Nick? I just like softball. Fucking. Show me where the field is. I swing on my mother's hands. Look what they did to my stimulus bill. They massacred my so anyway trump's been you know the media it's something still saying oh my god he was late

you got rob reiner tweeting he's dumber than his character on fucking you know what on all the family i can see why he got that role what a liberal retard he's saying the president people are dying because of the president i brought up the example yesterday cnn remember the remember that couple in arizona that ate ate fish tank cleaner because they saw chloroquine and the ingredients and the fucking cnn ran a story blaming trump for that and they didn't even mention in the story that the couple ate fish cleaner. They just said this is the drug that Trump was saying might be a game changer. And it wasn't even the drug.

They took chloroquine phosphate. I hate to make fun of those two, but it's thinning out the herd. People licking toilets, eating fucking, am I supposed to feel bad for you I don't feel anything fucking dead inside I'm dead I'm like a nine-year-old Italian woman you have to eat in Corona juice I'm dead they let people over 60 in Italy just die they're trying to make trying to make respirators that are carburetors they let people over 60 in Italy just die. They're trying to make respirators out of carburetors from fucking cars. You know, you goddamn guineas really make me laugh.

I tweeted, that's Italy's no country for old men. Of course, because I'm being shadow banned, it got like 130 likes or whatever. It should have got 1,200, but Fucking Jack Dorsey, you motherless fuck. Nick, you have an anger problem. I know! Been hearing about it since second grade. Teachers used to call my parents,

your kid's got a filthy mouth. My father would go, what the fuck do you want me to do about it, bitch? Ah, my dad would go, I don't know nothing about that. But how about this? So the whole mainstream media is saying how Trump, you know, has been horrible through this thing. Meanwhile, his approval rating is the highest it's ever been. 60% of the people approve of how he's handling it.

Do you understand? I'm not even, you guys are going to think I'm one of those paranoid fucking conspiracy guys. I just might be. I'm still not convinced that this thing, this whole thing wasn't a setup. I was talking to my equally cynical friend, Anthony Comia.

We both had the same take. He gets cleared of impeachment, gets acquitted. A day later, the coronavirus shows up and wreaks what he's done best, the economy. I'm telling you, I can't prove it yet. I have to go to Wuhan and talk to a few dirty zip heads, but I'll clear it up nice. Did you just say zip head?

Yeah, I'm bringing back old school racism. Dinky Dow, Mao, Nick, those are Vietnamese. It doesn't matter. They still eat bad soup but so he's getting all this negative press and and you know what the american people aren't falling for it because he's doing well in the poll the head of the world health organization which is not exactly friendly to the united states after what we've heard lately the head of the who praised president trump for his leadership in handling the coronavirus outbreak and

said the president, in quote, taking responsibility for leading the United States response to the global pandemic. And finally, we get some fucking truth. This is the head of the excuse me, Corona. He's getting a little praise from a guy who's very important i am your voice

god damn right the who director uh general and we know him right teddy teddy tedros uh at hominon i got grab a gabba gabba gross stuff anyhow look at him. Looks like he works for fucking Merrill Lynch. Hi, Nick. How are you? Come on in. Let me tell you what to do with your cash.

Stick it up your ass. Look at my necktie. This is smart, dude. We'll call him Teddy G. But he said, yeah, he led the whole government response to COVID, said trump was leading by example that's exactly what he's doing which we appreciate because fighting this pandemic

needs political commitment tedros uh said during a press conference in geneva uh tedros uh said he and trump had recently spoke and the president is doing all he can trump said it was the perfect phone call it was perfect i phone call. It was perfect. I said, I got this fucking Chinese shit by the throat. Don't worry about it. I'm choking the shit out of this fucking Qing Chao virus. Tedros said, I believe that kind of political commitment and political leadership can bring change

or can stop this pandemic. That's the guy. now the world health organization lately is being uh accused of kind of being in cahoots with china so i don't know where the evidence is of that but uh he also added the wide scale efforts to slow the coronavirus should have started weeks ago it's a dangerous virus he said we had been saying to the world the window of opportunity is narrowing and the time to act was actually more than a month ago or two months ago yeah china didn't come right out they're the ones and meanwhile cnn is touting china i'm not going to show the clips that takes too much work excuse me i had a corona bologna sandwich right in there nice

where's my phone i made a bundt cake last night i'm so fucking gay i'm getting people are going I had a Corona bologna sandwich right in there. Nice. Where's my phone? I made a bun cake last night. I'm so fucking gay. I'm getting people are going, what are you doing with your time? Let me show you something. I think we're going to make this a segment photos of shit.

I make, look at this. I don't even like cake. I just saw this and said, that looks delicious. Look at that fucking. Can we look at that? Nick,

you didn't make that. I did too. No, you didn't. That's a snow tire with spray paint. It's a cream cheese sour cream Bundt cake. That's why I'm so ripped. I took my shirt off. I have the fucking physique of Mitch McConnell right now. God, help me.

Anyways, where was i finally uh tidro said again the head of the world health organization asking people to stay home and shutting down population movement is buying time and reducing pressure on health systems on their own these measures will not extinguish the epidemic nations need to expand train and deploy the health care and public health workers, Tidro said, and encourage them to ramp up testing, track down every suspected jerk-off licking oranges at the supermarket, every case of coronavirus within the border. According to Johns Hopkins University, the global death toll has surpassed 20,000. Can I ask you a question? This is supposed to be a pandemic. We've been hearing about the ship for years, like it's going to wipe out the world, right? 20,000? Six billion people on the planet? Like my friend said, if the coronavirus was a running back, it'd be benched for shitty numbers. That came from Gregory Zook, my cop friend. but he says he believes the death toll will rise even higher the world health organization has been under fire for waiting for weeks before declaring the coronavirus outbreak a global pandemic yeah where were you i'm talking to china uh and then we'll listen to this this is the part that

gets me uh it then raised the ire of many countries, including the U.S., by praising China for its handling of the coronavirus. That's fucking ridiculous. I think your brain is going soft. How can you praise them? They fucking... We don't even know the real numbers coming out of China. Maybe there's nobody dead.

How about that? Can I ask you a question? This is the one that creeps up my ass about this. What's going to stop China or any other country but creating a synthetic virus or whatever this is the closest the united states has been brought to its knees would you agree so wouldn't you whip something else even if it's fake i i don't know it's scary when trump comes out or important person dr fudge and they say something and the stock market either goes up or down on what they say. You don't think Russia and China know that? Now they know how to fuck with the economy.

Russia's still calling it the flu. Fucking Putin. Fucking Putin. This guy. Oh, my God. Don't worry about it. Snipples. So what are the numbers like in Russia? What's that sniffles. So what are the numbers like in Russia?

What's that? Repeat that. What are the numbers like in Russia? So far, they said one guy has a bellyache and two women have the shits. That's it. I forget. They're not very high at all. And they were calling it the flow, but they finally, even Putin's like, come on. I think they see through our shit.

Unbelievable. But the media is so, just so hell bent. And, you know, and let me tell you something, folks. Trump is just, some people are born under the Death Star. He's born under the opposite. This shit's going to clear up, right? It's got to clear up. Right?

And guess what's coming, the election. This thing is, it's going to clear up right and guess what's coming the election this thing is it's going to help them you're gonna we're gonna win so much you're gonna get sick of it but what what what better way to try to sink his presidency by that something that destroys the economy right but let me ask you a question i asked it yesterday can you imagine if Obama was in office, a guy who couldn't balance a checkbook and all the fucking nitwits around him who have never taken a business class? Can you imagine? Well, Trump can. He tells off this girl. Watch the disdain this female reporter has and how the level of disrespect.

She interrupts the president, talks over him. And I'll ask the question again, why are all the reporters now in the mainstream press like 28-year-old girls with a chip on their shoulder? But listen to this level of disrespect she shows the president, and he straightens her out by calling her a fucking, go ahead. Mr. President, you tweeted earlier linking the closing of the country to your election success in November. Is this Easter timeline based on your political interests?

What do you mean by election success? You tweeted, you said that the media wants the country to remain closed to hurt your own debate. No, I think the media would like to see me do poorly in the election. I think lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have said talking over the president by Easter is not a good idea. What is that plan based on? Just so you understand. Are you ready? Yeah, I think there are certain people that would like it not to open so quickly. I think there are certain people that would like it to do financially poorly because they think that would be very good as far as defeating me at the polls. And I don't know if that's so, but I do think it's so that there are people in your profession that would like that to happen.

I think it's very clear that there are people in your profession that write fake news. You do. She does. There are people in your profession that write fake news. You do. She does. There are people in your profession that write fake news. They would love to see me for whatever reason, because we've done one hell of a job. Nobody's done the job that we've done. And it's lucky that you have this group here right now for this problem, or you wouldn't even have a country left. Okay. A fucking men bitch slapped her. So you're talking over the president and shit but you said this are you saying just a fucking oh you're disgusting go to another country where you will be happy because you hate it here you hate him fucking disgusting you ever seen anybody talk over

over obama people always go yeah well that well, that guy, Senator Wilson, yelled out liar during one of the, remember he was making an address, State of the Union address, and it turned out Mr. Wilson was right about him lying about health care. So, fuck you. Nick, relax. Okay, I think I will. You know what, guys?

Starting today, actually yesterday yesterday i should say uh we're working with a new sponsor and the company is called the donald stuff.com that's a the donald stuff.com they got a ton of really cool shirts hats mugs koozies for people who lean right like me and you have a sense of humor like the president it's It's good stuff. It's funny stuff. I'm glad to be a part of it. Here's some of the stuff. That's, oh my God, I look terrific with that hat on. I wore that to my senior prom, by the way.

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Look at his face. We have stuff for the kids, too. Show the baby, too. Show the baby little thing. There you go. Wouldn't your little kid look cute in that? Nuke him? Teaching your kid how to nuke another country when it's three?

That's very American. I need that. I like to lay around the house in that. You know what I mean? You got a poop or peep during the Patriots game? You just unsnap those fuckers? No belts? suspenders. Anyways, again, you can find all this stuff at thedonaldstuff.com. This is very important.

Please make sure to use the promo code at Nick, N-I-C-K, at the checkout to get 10% off your order. That applies to everything on the website, not just the Nick DiPaolo gear. Again, check out the, the Donald stuff.com and use the promo code Nick at the checkout. Uh, they keep adding new stuff every day and we'll keep sharing it with you. And we'll also put a link up on my website so you can get this stuff. It's, it's good stuff. I want one of those right there.

I've been using filthy asses i was saying that the day i was doing this podcast in my basement and you and i'm not talking we didn't have video it was just the audio portion and uh wash it felt the asses i think jfk said that guess what i said and uh again i'm gonna take credit for this eventually uh these news shows are gonna go nick de paulo knows he's talking about he curses a lot so we can't put him on but what did i say a couple days ago about cuomo picking up yesterday picking up momentum right because he's on tv every day just like the president is there's actually women saying he's so hot what are you talking about they're like a guy who's in charge and takes care.

It's women. It's, you know, it's daddy issues. I was thinking about daddy issues. Girls, when they, you know, girls will sleep around and fucking, they always go, oh, she's got daddy issues. But, you know, guys fuck like 50 people. They never say, oh, he's got mommy issues. Ever think about that? I know there's a Freudianian you want to fuck your mother

i forget the uh anyways let's get let's get back to cuomo god damn it raz oedipus the oedipus complex raz had experienced a little bit in high school he said his mother used to wear these tight skirts you can't blame him that's right oedipus complex fucking raz right on it that's a producer let's put the oedipus tony soprano said that to his daughter i don't want to fuck my mother anyways uh here's the question could a draft cuomo movement be in the democrats future no i think it is no no no no no no yeah democrats are publicly talking about contingency options for their july convention in milwaukee

in case the coronavirus persists in being a public health threat but privately some are also talking about needing a plan b if joe biden what do you mean if their nominee continues to flounder you should replace him now some democrats are openly talking about new york governor hunkalicious andrew cuomo whose profile has soared during the crisis i don't know why i mean he's doing all right but new york's the epicenter. You could turn it around on him and go, you're doing a shitty job. And he'll blame Trump, you know, that way. But he actually, we've been watching him, and he's a good speaker,

and he's very down to earth, and he's a greaseball. I gave him a little few points for that. Anyway, his profile is so during the crisis. As Biden, as a stand-in a standard yesterday a draft cuomo 2020 account on twitter announced that times have changed and we need governor cuomo to be the nominee our next potus must be one with an ability to lead through this crisis i think the one right now is doing quite well and so does the head of the world health organization and he's getting high numbers and gallop polls and everything else but you keep your wet dream alive uh charlie pierce

the politics blogger for esquire magazine they're down to like three they sell like three copies a year you talk about left wing i used to read that man uh wrote a piece headlined uh with two words andrew cuomo established himself as the leader in this country needs now he enthused cuomo's news conference last friday essentially shutting down the economy of a state was a master class and leveling with the public fueled by favorable national publicity that the governor really gets cuomo has quickly become the standard bearer for liberals who don't want to quickly open up parts of the economy at the same time we combat the coronavirus. Democrats are increasingly increasingly worried that Joe Biden will have trouble being relevant.

Not if he keeps these dirty stories keep coming up about him. Compelling in the long four months between now and when he's nominated in July. Lloyd Constantineine who was a senior policy advisor for elliot spitzer who wants to hear from him spitz is the one who had whores coming to his hotel room remember he used to fuck with his socks on and shit why do we care what his advisor says elliot uh leave your socks on when you're poking these bitches i'm telling you they like that all black guys do that by the way you leave your that. All black guys do that, by the way. Leave your socks on?

All black guys do, yeah. Now, wait a minute. I thought I knew every black stereotype there was. This could be, this is breaking news. So much so, I need some R&B. Give me a little R&B. Hit it up with my boy, Mark. You hit it, yo.

Dissipated, it's getting better all the time now. Leaving my socks on on going down the line sweat baby make me do it make me you're the best i'ma tell you how to work it baby harder faster slower bigger faster slower now why do black guys leave their socks on i don't know man just extra traction i guess extra traction what are you fucking on ast? What are you, fucking on AstroTurf? A hardwood floors? And what kind of socks are you wearing that you get traction?

Are they that sweaty? I never leave my socks on. You know, I usually have a baseball hat on. Sideways, like a black guy. Try to fool the girl. Yeah, bitch, how that feel? I usually have a Red red socks tank top on uh where are we anyways uh yeah they're afraid that he's gonna crap his pants before uh whatever uh biden this is what the guy said elliot spitz's former policy advisor.

He said that Biden is a melting ice cube. You cursed rat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, my world, my world! Those of us who have closely watched as time ravaged the one shop or even brilliant minds of loved ones and colleagues

recognize what is happening to the good soldier joe done losing his mind in an attempt to remain relevant biden's campaign team hastily built a tv studio in the basement of his wilmington home began streaming daily appearances by him uh from it this week and they have not gone well at all i think we showed you yesterday in a first outing on monday biden looked as he were lost somewhere on the set of wayne's world in the 90s comedy movie that pretended it was a public sx cable show broadcast from his basement biden stumbled slurred his words misnamed one of the nation's governors lost his train of thought and had to desperately signal to staff for help while he was on.

Listen to this. Even Alex Wagner, a former MSNBC anchor and current co-host of Showtime's political magazine, The Circus, wrote a piece this week for The Atlantic. You don't get further left than that called stay alive joe biden democrats need little from the front runner beyond his corporeal presence uh anyways so cuomo is picking up momentum like i predicted and most people uh predicted you know don't ever let a crisis go to waste politically you can capitalize on it and he has a very he's got this very reassuring conversational way of talking you know, don't ever let a crisis go to waste. Politically, you can capitalize on it. And he has a very, he's got this very reassuring conversational way of talking. Much better speaker than Trump, you know.

But that doesn't matter. I like how people question. I get a, you know, Trump is a really smart guy. He's just not well spoken. He's like an idiot savant. He's great at leading. You know what I mean? It's not about being the smartest guy in there. Obama was, you know, he's the editor of the Harvard Law Review and shit.

But not a fucking leader. Unless you count community organizing, midnight basketball. Then he really threw that shit together. So thumbs up there. But some guys can fucking lead sorry trump's one of them i i watch i watch these uh corona press conference and i'm cringing because he just again he sounds like me when i have to take a test in high school an essay to the first two paragraphs of total bullshit he repeats shit over and over again because this country doesn't

want people to die he says shit like like that. And I'm like, but in his heart, I've worked with the heads of corporations. And, and, uh, it's called, I'm sure Vince Lombardi wasn't a fucking rocket scientist,

but he could lead men. Joe Paterno. Oh, forget about the kid fucking thing in the shower. It was a guy wanted to win. I mean, come on. Here was some, finally, some good news this uh made me smile kathy griffin slams trump's coronavirus response while in the hospital with unbearable

painful symptoms she probably doesn't even have the coronavirus. Her snatch is dried up because nobody. How do we know that's Kathy Griffin? That could be Carrot Top. That could be they dug up Lucille Ball's corpse. The little devil's ham kid. What was his name? The tiny midget.

Who is that? That's Carrot Top. You know what? And I used to meet Kathy. she was nice to me i was nice to her but then i saw her on cnn and that she comes out holding trump's head and that thing she just a naughty little girl after checking into hospital with unbearable pain she must have looked into the mirror got a good glimpse of her fucking john wayne jaw comedian kathy griffin spoken out against trump's response in a quote tweet replying to the president

uh griffin accused trump of lying about how many coronavirus tests in the united states has performed amid the ongoing pandemic that has claimed thousands of lives as it continues to spread around the fucking world oh yeah he's a fucking liar i'm tired uh i was sent to the covid 19 isolation ward room at a major hospital uh er from a separate urgent care facility griffin tweeted wednesday uh going on to criticize the vice president's leadership of the white house corona task force the hospital couldn't test me for coronavirus because of cdc it says in parentheses pence task force restrictions griffin also shared two for it should be the first one to criticize if they were testing people and it wasn't going well stop griffin also shared two photos in her tweet which appeared to

show the 59 year old in a hospital bed behind a glass door while also wearing a protective mask over her nose and mouth. I thought that was she was pulling the sheets up over her. Beautiful face. When reached, a representative for Griffin was unable to immediately confirm the status of Griffin's health, but EW will update this post if new information becomes available. Oh, yeah, we'll be hanging on your every word. Who gives a fuck?

The White House, give me your give me the fucking address of the hospital and her room number. I'll mail her a rubber mask that I made. The White House did not immediately return our request for comment on Griffith's accusation against Trump. Blah, blah, blah.

She's not even important anymore. Charlie, you're not even important anymore. Well, more idiocy is coming out. It's the one thing the internet has done. It has really shined a light way before the coronavirus on the idiots in this world but here's another one pulling a prank woman coughs on 35 000 of goods at a pennsylvania grocery store uh what an asshole you fucking whore yeah that's it go home get my dinner ready the woman visited a hanover township location of the small grocery chain the chain's called gity Supermarket before 2.20pm Wednesday and coughed on fresh produce a small section of the bakery

meat case and grocery items the store's co-owner Joe Fasula wrote can you fucking imagine 35 grand worth well the very simple solution you arrest the bitch and then she has to pay for it all and if she doesn't she goes to jail where she'll be fucking sodomized

with a cucumber from that store end of case authorities do not believe the woman whose name is still unknown is infected with covid 19 but it's going to make every effort to get her tested, Pasula Rowe. The woman has also said to be a chronic problem in the community. Then put her to sleep like a rabid dog. Sometimes I wish I lived in China. You'd never see this broad again. She'd pull that off at Ching Chow Ping Things, where they have the best produce and radishes. You'd never see this bitch again.

They'd interview her just to let you know that she was alive,ishes. You'd never see this bitch again. They'd interview her just to let you know that she was alive, and then you'd never see her. While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. Well, that's nice of you. We had no choice but to throw out all the products she came in contact with. How do you know?

They must have her on film. Garrity Supermarket called the cops immediately. More than 15 employees worked with Hanover Township Health Inspector to thoroughly clean and disinfect this. That's going to kill their business. Nobody, I mean, wouldn't you be a little wary? Probably not even open for the next couple of weeks. The case had been escalated to the district attorney's office. They have assured me they will be

aggressively pursuing numerous charges. But she sounds like she's homeless and crazy. You know what I mean? I don't know. Luzerne County has 27 confirmed cases of the virus with one death. Probably somebody who ate the grapes from Garrett's.

Yes, Raz. I have a Patreon question. Patreon question. Derek R. Suki, Canada. Hi, Nick. I'm from the liberal hellhole known as British Columbia, Canada. I wonder if you have any thoughts on how to survive without going back to prison for assault and or murder when I hear how stupid most of my fellow Canadians are. So far, I've found booze to be very effective. Thank you, kind sir. I wondered if you have any thoughts on how to

survive without going back to prison. That means he's been to prison before? For assault and murder when I hear how stupid most of my... Booze, yeah. Booze is always good. If you're having murderous thoughts, that's what you want to do. Hit the Tito's real hard. Maybe do a couple bumps. That's why I love Canada. Their solution to everything is beer. Excuse me. I say switch to Molson Lights while you're this angry.

Seriously, get on the computer since you're from Canada. Derek, I don't know how old you are. And Google Canadians versus Bruins 1970 fights. You'll watch those for six hours and you'll feel so good about yourself. That's weird he asked that because I just watched the ID network as I always do last night. And it was about this guy guy young girl on a road trip and they get murdered they were canadian i didn't hold it against him but some truck driver raped and killed the girl and strangled the guy and they got him 38 years later with new forensic a little bit of jizz on uh on the girl's jeans don't ever do that didn't you learn anything from bill clinton you burn that dress horrible huh let's uh finish with this one because this one made me laugh until

i almost crapped oh my god we have to do something with anthony soon i gotta get off uh finally influencer quit calling people on t TikTok influencer, reportedly hospitalized with coronavirus after doing what, folks? I want you to guess. What was he doing? Licking the goddamn toilet seat. It's not even original. California, social media prankster claims he's hospitalized with coronavirus just days

after posting a video of him licking a toilet bowl. I think he's gay. I'm not sure gay i'm not sure he seems i'm not sure he's gay you he holds a purse like my mom does coming out of the grocery store oh look my life partner took a dump yummy yummy you i hope this guy's in critical condition i don't want him to die just Just scare the shit out of him. Yeah, that's right. Lick it up.

You're doing a lot for the gay and lesbian community. The TikTok personality known as Lars reportedly posted footage of himself in a hospital bed on Sunday. I fucking love it. I tested positive

for coronavirus, said the 24-year-old from Beverly Hills. His account has been suspended. What a dickhead. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. It comes just two days after the prankster who goes by the social media handle Gay Sean.

I guess that clears it up. Gay Sean. Your walk sort of gave it away. Like Marilyn Monroe going in there to take a dump posted a video on friday uh his tongue across the toilet seat and whatever the craze uh seen mainly on tiktok spurs users to post footage of themselves lick at everything from toilets to grocery store products a social media influencer has previously the guy was on dr phil where he drew criticism for boasting

about how he'd licked tubs of ice cream before putting them back in the store freezers. Clandy made a lot of money. I hope you're spending it on AIDS fucking medication, you asshole. Ugh. Anyways, that's it. I hate this guy. You listening? Yes. Your mother

sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. got that it's safer than licking toilet seats i'll tell you that much that's it folks thank you guys so much again go to nickdip.com to make uh contributions or sign up at patreon uh we need your support more than ever i don't know when i'm going back to stand up you know i mean not that that's your problem you have your own problems but uh hopefully we can make you laugh get through this an hour a day and uh we thank you for your support uh cameo.com if you want me to send a personal video message roasting one of your friends or family or relatives and whatnot uh that is it raz remember you guys think it i will say it you are so welcome

thanks for another great week. And we will see you again on Monday. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. guitar solo I'm out.