The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dems: "White Lives Don't Matter | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1872

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

In today's episode, Nick talks about Trump Tough On Iran, Boys Of Summer Are Back, Dems Kill Another American, Vaping Vermin, FL Not Playing Around and Shits & Giggles! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

This podcast is supported by the original organic bedding and bath brand, Koyuchi. Koyuchi has spent 35 years pioneering quality organic textiles, long before the word organic became, you know, trendy. But words matter to Koyuchi, words like craftsmanship, longevity, and wellness. So what does the word wellness mean to Koyuchi? It means that all of our products are absolutely free from harsh chemicals and dangerous toxins that can seep into your skin. It means effortless style that looks as good as it feels

with naturally breathable, pre-washed organic cotton. And what does all of that mean to you? Well, it means that you can sleep well in Koyuchi's crisp, cool, luxuriously soft sheets that are ethically made and made with you in mind. Live well, sleep well, with Koyuchi. Get 15% off your first order when you visit Koyuchi.com. That's Koyuchi.com to get 15% off. C-O-Y-U-C-H-I-com.

Damn guineas really make me laugh. Balls on this prick. Hi. Hi. How are you, folks? Welcome to the live lineup where you get the great Stephen Lotto and Crowder show. I saw Candace, um,

Owen's bad-mouthed in my boy. They don't like each other yesterday. She goes, the minute I met him, I could tell he was a pathological liar. I can really read people. Shut up. The fuck up. Even if he was, I still like him.

How about that? People think you're a fucking lunatic. I used to think, Candace Owen, I was kind of a fan. I don't know where you're at. You're either crazy? Oh, you really do have sources that are, because she comes up with him shit that.

I'm like, I don't think she could make that. I'm not talking about Grotta. I don't give a fuck. Seems like a nice Midwestern boy to me. Him and the old man, I like him. They're good people. Okay, you get that. You get my show.

You get soupy sales new show. Call them, not funny. Number was. All these other shows were free. If you wanted ad free, sign up Rumble Premium. So follow my channel, download the Rumble app. Today I'll be talking about Trump this morning, coming out again on Iran sending these mixed signals, even though, you know, they have one boat left and two bullets.

But he came out saying, look, motherfuckers, straighten up or, and... Straighten up. Or he's been saying this for a few days now. There's going to be hell to pay. One minute he's saying we're talking to the right people because about eight boats went through yesterday. And anyways. Also, be a good American.

Today's basically, I think it's the official opening day, isn't it? I don't know. Well, I know. But one game, that's what I'm saying. You know, the Yankees beat the Giants Lodge. Now, who gives a fuck? I do because I'm a Red Sox fan. You're going to keep an eye on the Yankees and the Blue Jays and the art.

That is a tough division. But see this hat, I'm wearing this for a reason. You're going to see this in the World Series this year. What? You fucking heard me. You heard me. You'll be throwing this back on my face a month from now and we're 11 games off. Dems kill another American blood on their hands.

A nice young lady we talked about. They've lost their minds. It's why I got back on my medication. Did I mention that yet? Did I go off it? No. To you. Yeah. I was, you know, my brother suggested sometimes there's certain medications that keep you up at night, so I Google that. Sure enough, antidepressants came up a little bit, and it looks like I have coke of my mustache, the good old days. And, Jesus, didn't turn the clock on your mother's fucking box. What are you guys? I give up.

Anyways, yeah, so I said, I'll take a few days off with those, and I could feel my anger just creeping in, which is saying a lot for me. I mean, you know, my sleep patterns aren't good, because it doesn't matter. I could have 18 hours sleep, not the most pleasant disposition, but I could feel it creeping back. I stopped on Monday or whatever fuck, and I'm just ready to murder the guy at a red light in front of me,

fucking people at the supermarket, just, you know, hog in the aisle, fucking looking at the meat like it's their section. One of the fucking, you know, big things in life. So I even wrote Gutfeld. Today I wrote a note because I was doing the monologues, punching them up. And I put a note at the top. I said, note.

I went off my antidepressants that I've been on for, I don't know, 18 years. So if this stuff seems a little harsh, it's not your imagination. I was putting shit in there like, fucking blow me, you fucking stuff like that. that you know what? God bless, he reads a lot of the shit and just gets bleeped. This is what makes me love the guy.

Honest to fucking God. I put some shit in there like, this ain't going to see the air, but it does. They just have to bleep bleep. I think he likes. Anyways, but I put a bunch of shit in there that was really funny

and probably might not make the, some of it will make the air. But I said, so anyways, I said, yeah, if it seems harsh, it's not your imagination. But I'm going back, per orders of the way,

wife, I'm going back on them today. I guess it's necessary. As much as I hate to be a mental midget, but what can you do? What else are we talking about? Vaping. Verman.

We get footage of a squirrel, vaping. I told you, it's delicious. Also, I know. My wife's going to go, this thing's jiggling. I don't give a fuck. also shits and giggles a woman is caught in wisconsin at some park early in the morning where she jogs every day taking dumps every day outside on the jogging that's what i'm talking about today so you can tell it's not meet the press you know what i'm saying this

what else um Bruins last night update i'm in a boston mood apparently the Boston Bruins who by the way have surpassed all expectations this year with a whole new crew who have gelled beautifully. David Passenach, if you ought, might be the best brewing after Bobby Orr ever. Well, you got Raybork. I shouldn't say that. But this fucking guy, in the last four or five years, he's the leading goal, last four seasons, he's in the top leading goal score since 2022, I think, in the NHL, number one. A couple years ago, he had 63 goals or some shit like that.

you know the year before that 50 something so this year he's only get like 30 but he's got almost 60 assists already which makes why am I talking look at I just spilled the copy it's almost over for me I hope you come visit me at the fucking Twin Oaks nursing home one come wipe my ass yeah so he's got he's he's he's in line to have another fourth year in a row of a hundred point season or more and he's more dangerous this year with less gold and more assists because he's setting up other guys and making them, there's like three guys he plays with it that have their career high in goals this year.

Because they're playing on his line. It makes the team better. I don't know why I'm telling you that. You guys, they get to the fucking black jokes. I will. Can you wait a minute? I'm just saying they lost to Toronto two nights go in Boston, a team who has the worst record since the Olympic break, Toronto.

They're not going to make the playoffs. And the Bruins go, oh, an easy. run and they blow it at home against it. So they had to get up today or yesterday the very next night in hockey you don't play back to back too often because it's a brutal sport. But because of the Olympics, they had to compress the schedule and there's a lot of back-to-back game, not a lot, but more than normal. Anyways, long story short, they had to go up to Buffalo, who's had the best record in hockey

since December 9th. They were a laughingstock. I was telling my friend Dallas here, October and November, like the two first months of the laughingstock of the league. They bring in a new coach, I think, in December, I think. Don't quote me on it, but I'm pretty sure. They have, they put up a statistic. In 28 straight games, they've had the lead, which you're like, well, that sounds okay, I guess.

Only five teams have done that in the history of the league. That's how good they've been this year. And out of 46 games, they have the most, what they call regulation wins since December. They might have home playoff advantage throughout the playoff. This is a team that's stunk for the last, I don't know how many years. It's an amazing turn. Anyways, the Bruins have to go up there, right? The night after they play and lose a big one, I'm like, they're going to get murdered up there.

They go up there, they hang in. They're up two to one in the third period. And I'm like, yes, this could be a crazy fucking unexpected win. What do they do? They give up two goals in 33 seconds. They're down three to two. The announcers were bragging. We're going to break that streak because the Sabers haven't had a lead in this game yet, right?

And anyways, Buffalo gets two and 33. three seconds. Now we're down three to two. We get one with about seven minutes left to tie the game. And I'm still sitting there going, the Bruin's soccer overtime. They just, I don't know why it is about them, but guess what? To drop the puck center ice, we get on there, we score. I think, fuck on a minute into the first into the overtime to win the game. That means they went up to Detroit last weekend and a must win, beat Detroit in Detroit. We had the exact same record as Detroit. And then, again, drop one. And this is why we love. sports folks you drop one to a shit team and then they go up to literally your best team in the

NHL right now about people don't know how that's possible and they and they fucking do it I'm I just love this team it's got nothing to do with you people I don't blame if you're bored or if you change a channel right now you're watching a fucking plus size model fucking tweaking tweaking or twerking yes yes you hear that yes holy shit we're becoming like the zoo team W-104.6 in Omaha. Tonight my sidekick Spanky's going to run down the street naked with lottery tickets taped all of them. Did you hear that?

I don't know what that is. I still don't. It's like Popeye laughing. Wow. Look at a tit. I used to do that in school under my breath, having people laugh. And they're like, oh, suck me dick.

Wow. Anyhow, yeah. What else? Bruins, uh, that's it. Let's get to it. Trump to Iran. I was watching Trump just now before I came to work. No, I wasn't. Well, I was a clip from earlier today.

Whatever. It's late in the day now, but whatever. He was on a roll. I don't know. Hegseth was given a speech about where we are, Iran. Everybody's in the room. The press. Hegsth, Marco over here, everybody.

All the big shots are in the room. Besant, who I love. That openly gay Besant is the smartest guy in the goddamn. He's the one that's the money guy. He's brilliant. Why do you have to bring up that he's openly gay? Because apparently it's a point of pride, isn't it? That's what I've been here in my whole fucking life.

So why do you get upset when I bring it up? Shut it. Hey, Norm MacDonald. Yeah, my kid. Yeah, I went to the gay pride parade. You know, it's a funny thing to be proud of. I mean, it's not like something, you know, that you accomplished or something. You know what I mean?

Kind of weird. I mean, I don't think there's many guys going, hey, Bob, come here, I'm going to show you something. It's my son. Went to Harvard graduated first in his class. Yeah, he's articling at, you know, Jacobia's law firm. Oh, by the way, he loves cock. I mean, this kid loves it, up the ass in both hands and his mind. He said this on the Dennis Miller show.

Anyways, where was I? Anyways, let's get to it. Trump, the headline is Trump to Iran. and I'll fuck you up, you sand chimps. I might have added that. Whole line in there. Trump issued an early morning warning to Iran Thursday telling the Islamic Republic officials

to buckle down and get serious. That's in quotes, about negotiating and end to the four-week-old war before it's too late. By the way, Hegsef lit into the press. I guess he's the fucking pit bull when it comes to that. Trump gives him the green light, go get him.

Trump just, I mean, Hegseth lit into the press about how they lie, about the war years ago, you know, after three months saying it was a lost cause before it started and you've been lying your whole life. He just ripped them. He goes, you're still bad mouth than us. This war's three weeks old and we're murdering these people. He didn't use those words.

And you're still, you know, trying to put a shit spin on. It was so refreshing. That's all I get to say. And it's what it's been neat to be used. Anyways, so Trump gets, and then he throws it to Trump. Trump starts talking about the war a little bit. Then he starts going off about a pen, about a pen. And he was trying to do a metaphor about building stuff.

It doesn't matter, you know, what you pay for it if it's done right. And he's talking about a pen. Somebody gave him a Sharpie, the company. I don't know for 10 minutes. And he was getting huge laughs. Everybody wants to be a comic. I swear on my mother, even though it's a powerful man in the world. Anyways, he said, yeah, get your shit straight before it's too late.

The U.S. military prepares an assault that hopes will be the final blow to Tay Randall authorities. The Iranian negotiators are very different and strange, the president posted on truth social. They are begging us to make a deal, which they should be doing since they've been militarily obliterated with zero chance of a comeback. And yet they publicly state that they are only looking at a proposal wrong, he says, on truth social. Is this moron number one? Put more on number two on the phone. That's how I picture Trump talking to these guns. they better get serious soon, he said, before it's too late, because once that happens, there is, in capital's letters,

no turning back, and it won't be pretty. Speaking of pretty, here is the great girl from the great, I want to say state of New Hampshire. I think she's in New Hampshire, her, and she? You know, the spokesman, Caroline Levitt, and she's pregnant, she's with child. Somebody else's, I don't know who got in there. I was banging on the door three at the morning,

and apparently I saw her, you know, who leave. The fuck, Will Chamberlain's kid. Dave Chamberlain. What? Black guy named Dave. Caroline, give us an update. The president's preference is always peace.

There does not need to be any more death and destruction. But if Iran fails to accept the reality of the current moment, if they fail to understand that they have been defeated militarily and will continue to be, President Trump will ensure they are hit harder than they have ever been hit before.

President Trump, Dutt is not bluff, and he is prepared to unleash hell. Iran should not miscalculate again. Their last miscalculation cost them their senior leadership, their Navy, their Air Force, and their air defense system. Any violence beyond this point will be because the Iranian regime refused to understand they have already been defeated and refused to come to a deal. She's not as good as KJP.

What was the girl to name? Something, Jean-Pier. Karen? Karen Jean-Pierre. Remember the little ragamuffin black? The worst. Again, DEI higher in the history of the planet. She couldn't give a speech in front of five-year-olds.

Just fucking retarded. No business being anywhere. Anyways, the president's rant came as Axios reported that military officials were prepping a massive bombing campaign if talks go nowhere and were readying for primary options that Trump could choose to impose maximum pressure on the theocratic regime. Can you, let's, you know, we joke about this.

Put your fucking, put yourself in their mindset, the Iranian leaders who have seen everybody they've gone to work with the last 20 years killed. People, they don't even want to, they're like, Ahmed, you're up next. No, I don't want a job. Busy, building how, I mean, they're shitting. They're like, this motherfucker is not playing games.

But they're still lying to us. Hegseth said that. He goes, they're saying, they told us, have a missile for the last couple years. It only goes two kilometers at the most. Well, they shot one yesterday. They went like 3,500 kilometers. So they're still lying about shit. Those options reportedly include invading or blockading Iran's oil expert hub of Karg Island. I just love the name. I want to go there for vacation. I hear they're going to have a beautiful sunset real soon. Seizing Larak Island, which Tehran uses as a military outpost to maintain control of

the strategic straight-up Hormuz, through which it estimated one-fifth of the world's oil passes. The other four-fifths, you know what passes through? That's right. Newsom's hair. A nice funny political joke that would make the airwaves on actual TV. Seizing three other islands near the western entrance to the strait that are controlled by Iran but claimed by the United Emirates and stopping or seizing ships sending Iranian oil through the straight, choking off the mullah's major, the mullah's choking it, a major economic lifeline. So we have all the cards, dudes. It's a matter of, you know, meanwhile, Pakistani, what I don't like is, this is not even in

the story, but Russia put up yesterday, they retweeted something that the Iranians put out a couple days ago, two days, yesterday maybe, of a missile hitting the, you know what, the fucking Statue of Liberty. You know how they're great with their propaganda? They're very good with their marketing. I'd like to have me handle my career, actually. They said, I don't do enough anti-Jew shit, so they wouldn't sign me. But, yeah, so that kind of creep me out, China thought that was funny.

I think they shared it with the, no, Russia did. I think Russia retweeted. That's what they don't understand. We don't give a fuck. Okay, we drop the fucking bomb on somebody. We're the only, and we'll do it again. And they know that. And by the way, I'm going to remind you people,

one more time, why this country hasn't been invaded by any foreign armies? How about this one gun, excuse me, there's seven guns for every person, including babies in this country? Seriously, think about that. An army wouldn't have a chance. Even if, you know, even if one-tenth of our population was good with guns and loved guns and shit and want to participate, there's no army. I don't care how many fucking chine him and you send over here. That's a lot of guns. It's a lot of guns. I don't like mosquitoes. I saw that one again.

Pakistani foreign minister, Ishak Dar. Darr confirmed for the first time Thursday that indirect talks between the U.S. and Iran were taking place. Meaded by the Islamabad. That's when you know things are off the rails, when you've got fucking people from Islamabad being the voice of raisin in the room.

Holy shit. Government as well as Egypt, Turkey, and other countries. Let me tell you, the other Arab countries, they're like, holy shit. Because, you know, they don't like Iran either. They hate the fucking, all that shit. They hate the Gaza, stripped of Palestine. But they're like, whoa, America's doing our dirty work for us. Now they're joining in.

They're like, yeah, you hold them down, we'll kick them. That's sort of what they're doing, which is fine with us. Reports circulated earlier this week that Vice President J.D. Vance could travel to Pakistan this coming weekend. That would make me nervous to seal a ceasefire deal, but a source told the post Wednesday that while such an intervention was a possibility, it was not even close to happening. Trump initially raised hopes for an end to the war that has decimated its top leadership, you don't say, and rattled the global economy on Monday when he announced he was postponing planned strikes on the Islamic Republic's energy infrastructure by five days to allow time to

work out an agreement to end the fighting. So it's all in the balls and their court. And that ball has a fuse on it. It's going to go off in about 24 hours if they don't get their shit sick. Like I said, they have to be going. What do we do? This guy's fucking killing a fucking, let's go ask your dad. No, he was killed a long time. Let's go ask your uncle. He's gone too. Hey, folks, you know, it was a good way to support the war. Go to Nick Dip.com and buy some merch. Well, how does that support the war? Well, the same way my CD sales after the shows that I used to do live shows, I'd sell CDs, and I would tell the crowd that 10% of it

goes to breast cancer research. And then they would ask me how that is, and I go, well, I take the money that you guys give me to the CDs, and I get a girl's drunk after the show and get them back to my room and try to find the lump on their tent. Just say hello to Nick the Palm.

Well, you know, laughter's the best medicine. Well, they don't pay me like a fucking doctor. To support the show, head to Kevin. By the way, having out of cigarette and forever. Finally over it, I think. Anyways, to support the show, head to Nick Tip.com for some merch, hats, hoodies, t-shirts, bras, training bras, jogging bras, bulletproof bar. We have two Kevlar girls' underwear.

Also want to send a personalized video to someone. I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to book it at shoutout.us. Let's move on. The boys of summer are back. It's a great song, by the way. What MLB games are? This is officially opening day. Yesterday, like I said, the Giants and the Yankees played.

Nobody gives it fun. Opening day, 2026 schedule for today. The hyperbole is done. No, it's baseball. Major League Baseball's 2026 season kicks into Gia with a proper opening day on Thursday, March 26. featuring 11 games. You remember two years ago?

I said, I'm not going to watch your Red Sox anymore because I've done enough of that. We already, and I've never been more interested in my life than about this year with all these new names. Mother of God. Featuring 11 games after the New York Yankees beat the tar out of the Giants yesterday in the regular season opener. Some highlights of Thursday's slate include Cy Young winner. This is for you baseball, Paul Skeens. And you're like, well, who's Paul Skeens? Well, he's a Pittsburgh pirate pitcher.

He's only been in the league one or two years. I think he won Rookie of the Year and the Siong or maybe Yembe, whatever, already in his two years. And he's also better than that, he's the one banging Libby Dunn, the little blonde LSU gymnast, who, as far as NIL goes, you know, name likeness and ass cheeks, has raked in more dull than any college just because she's a piece of ass and she knows it. That's her boyfriend on the, that's not going to last. I'll say it again.

Pro athletes are alpha male. Come on. You know what I'm saying? There's people that drive, guys that drive ice cream trucks that get fucking sick of their hot wives. Never mind, somebody's got a trillion dollars and every woman wants to, you know, come on.

I hope I'm wrong, kids. I hope you're really. I can be wrong because look at Verlanda. With that Brooklyn Decker? Is that her name? I might have the wrong model, but huge fucking job, you know, blonde, stunning, and they're still together. I mean, there's a lot of cheating going on. I, uh, Sa Young winner Paul Skeen's taking on the New York, uh, it says the new look New York

match. And you know why that is? It's a surprise the hell out of me. The whole starting nine lineup, all Asians. No, I'm kidding. Uh, at City Field, you got Tarik Escouba. He won the, uh, the, uh, Salyang. and the Detroit Tigers in San Diego facing the Padres

and the LA Dodgers lifting their second World Series band that they bought, I mean that they won. The Atlanta Braves playing the Kansas City Royals. I don't see any compelling reason to watch that. Sorry, I forgot. We got a Braves fan here.

I'm just saying, what's that? It's not a bad day. Oh, no, wait a minute. I read the Kansas City. Oh, Braves of Kansas City. Yeah, I read that. No, the Braves are

The Braves are always compelling Especially when you got my boy Chris Shale Who we couldn't keep healthy for five minutes He goes over to your fucking place And becomes the old Chris Sail Everybody knows And Toronto Blue Jays Are playing the A's

I wonder where they're playing. Where are the A's playing this year? Fucking Canada That poor team's getting bounced around They're heading to Vegas eventually The Canadian A's Ah, oh Let me tell

Dallas is on fire this morning Do you get it, folks The Canadians, eh? A whole boathlow of them Yeah, we get a whole Oh, a boat of them I was watching a guy, the Canadian guy The guitar fucking guy

I knew too about it. I love the way they talk They fucking, anyways, what else? Here's a look at the full schedule For today is Thursday, March 25, Pirates at the Mets. You got the White Sox at Milwaukee Brewers. I still think of the Brewers as an American League team.

And they're not. They're always in the American League when I was growing up. You got the Washington Nats at the Cubs. A bunch of snoozers, in my opinion. Twins at Baltimore or Orioles were curious about them because they took a few years off. They were red hot a few years ago. Red Sox at the Reds, okay?

And I know that ballpark is called America's ballpark. And it's a big deal. Opening day in Cincinnati, they treat it like they have for 100 years as a parade and all that, which they should be. When I was a kid in Little League, we had opening day parades and shit.

And it marched through downtown Danvers in our uniforms and shit. They yelled to me. I didn't want to wear my shirt. I was ripped at age 11, and they, no. Reds, Red Sox at whatever the fuck? I don't know.

It says no crying there. I don't know why I have. Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here. Shut up. Angels at the Astros. Tigers at the Pard Race. That's a good one. Those are two good teams.

Range at the Phillies. Another good one. Ranges were very disappointing last year. Tampa Bay at the Cardinals. That's the race who are always interesting. because they get paid less than the goddamn, you know what, TSA at the airport right now, and they always are competitive

because they find pitching. I don't know, nobody, it's a mystery where they find their pitching, but they're always competitive. Arizona Diamondbacks at the Dodgers, I hate anything West Coast. It bore the shit out of me. The Guardians, I just can't watch them

because of their name. It's the stupidest thing ever. Trump's going to fix that. He said he was going to. At the Mariners. So that's your schedule today if you're a baseball fan. And if you're not again, you're gay. Let's move on to Dems once again, killing an innocent American.

I can't take it anymore. And it's why I'm going back on the antidepressants, because the anger, it doesn't help that I've marinate myself. And yes, I understand some of my sleeping problems are probably related to me looking at my phone at about midnight and then shutting it off and trying to go to bed, my blood pressure is 790. So what I do to counter that,

You know, I fucking go to a dirty porn site. Can't even rub one out. Like I said, I need Tommy John on the elbow. Disgraced X fat. Oh, no, I got the wrong. I almost spilled it again, Dallas. Discraced ex-Illinois gov Rod Blagovich. Blago.

What do we used to call him, Blago? He still got the boys' regular haircut. This is what he looked like 20 years ago when he was in trouble. Remember? He looks great. He almost looks like a dyke there, though. Am I right? She had a stunning theory about the illegal migrant.

Why did they say migrant and not illegal immigrant? Even that bothers me. I know they're putting illegal in front. That's supposed to be the part of the... No, illegal immigrant. Migrant has the, again, the tonality. It has the... It implies that it's almost...

You know, they have a right to shut it. excused of executing a Chicago area college student. Look, how do they refer to her? A Chicago area college student in cold blood that it was part of some gang initiation is Blagovich's theory, and he's a goddamn thousand percent right. I guarantee it.

Don't you think so? Yes, sir. They did that here. I was at a bar here last week, and this guy that's from here, we started talking about violence, and he goes, yeah, I grew up. here and he took out an article about a gang, a black gang in Savannah that was doing that very

thing, initiation. They had to kill a white person. And guess what? This was right down the street from my house. You know the Savannah bananas? They're about a 12-minute walk from my house down the street. Anyways, that park and the surrounding parks, they would do gang initiative. And they shot a guy walking his dog, a white guy walking his dog one morning.

is back in the 70s on my street and fucking rehabishing me, you know, right around the corn. And that fucking, so this is, this is very plausible. I think he's right on the money. Blagovich, a Democrat who's a 14-year prison sentence, why do you bring all this up? Oh, it must be a lib right in it for federal corruption charges was cut short after Trump commuted his sentence, which I love in 2020, wrote on X that he believes Jose, Medina, Medina, Manili-Belilli, murdered Sheridan Gorman.

That was the young lady from Yorktown, New York, in an effort to make an impression with the local gang. And all you need to do is put that on the news tonight on every channel and then look at the Democrats and go, are you fucking kidding me? Do you know their paper, the school paper, Loyola? They have a paper, a campus school paper. They apologized about this

because they called the guy in a legal immigrant. they go, it doesn't fit with the values of our paper. Yeah, you got that right, because apparently the value of truth has nothing to do with your paper. I want you to let that sink in, how sick that is. They were apologizing. The crime in their eyes was not killing the girl, the innocent girl, but referring to this guy as illegal, which he is. Think about that. I want you to let that sit in for you fucks that vote Democrat.

You know what? I'm not talking about you guys. I don't understand how like people aren't being arrested like Biden. They should be fucking kicking the door and whether he has thrown him in cuffs. Jerk off

Brendan, the communist Johnson, the so-called mayor of Chicago. He should be in jail. Waltz should be in jail. I mean jail. I mean fucking jail. I don't get it.

And if the government does it, like I was saying, at Dallas, eventually you younger people, we the people, are going to have to take the law into your own hands, or you're going to, because it seems to me the only people that believe in how this country is founded, what it was founded on, is Donald Trump, his administration, me and about 48 other people in the military, and the rest of the world. At least that's the impression the media gives you. It probably isn't the truth, but sometimes the impression's enough. Sheridan Gorman, that's the girl,

killer is being held in isolation. I suspect Pritzker and the dams are hiding him to cover up the fact that this illegal immigrant killed an innocent young girl as part of a gang initiation. You know, Blago wrote that, but that's not the reason is

the guys get tuberculosis. So he's not only a murdering piece of shit, he's a diseased one. And he looks like every person from those countries to me. We were saying this in the 60s. Immigrants, illegals are going to bring over disease and there they are. It's got tuberculosis.

That's also known as the white plague, by the way. Do you know that? And it's making a comeback because of certain open border policies. Again, find Biden and hang him by his fucking 90-year-old bag. I know gangbangers and how they operate. I lived with them for a. Blago sounds like he was part of the Crips. I live with him.

Here's a picture of Blago. with a red bandana chasing a kid with a knife in the park. And I know Pritzka and the Dems. Bet you I'm right, the self-described Trumpocrat. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. He was a Democrat, right? Yeah.

Who served in the state's top office from 203 to 209. You know what I mean by that? 2000. Gorman, young girl, 18. This is somebody's daughter. This is somebody's best friend. This is somebody's sister. but I don't know how people keep it cool.

I really don't. I don't. I guess you don't want to go to prison, but Jesus Christ, could you sleep if somebody did that to your fucking wife or kid? No. Gorman 18 was a freshman at Loyola University. And from Westchester County, my old stomping grounds, when she was allegedly shot by Medina,

Medina, a 25-year-old piece of garbage from Venezuelan on the Loyola Beach Pier at around 1,30. in the morning. By the way, that pair they're talking about near the fucking lake in Chicago, do you remember Fatso, Fuxain Pritzker making a video going, look how peaceful it is here. It's seven in the morning. People are jogging in the sun. It was right there. So he's getting some serious blowback online and hasn't said much about it. Dispicable human beings. Dispicable. She and her friends were near the campus and taking a walk to try to catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights. What a troublemaker. When Medina Medina allegedly jumped out at them,

wearing black clothes and a black mask and wielding a gun. And do you remember the stupid black woman, Alderman, in Chicago, said, oh, she just startled the guy with a gun, like, she was in a wrong place at the wrong time. Remember that? There's been headlines like that all week that are so evil and perverted that I can't believe the world will live in it. Like the guy said in the airplane movies, I guess I picked the wrong week to kick my antidepressant. When they fled, he allegedly fired off a single shot that struck Gorman in the head, killed her. Medina Medina was allegedly caught on camera,

firing the gun with his own mother helping ID the piece of shit. Good for her. Was dad involved? Was it no, no? Helping ID him after investigative shared footage of the heinous shooting. In May 2020, he was apprehended, this is, so this is three years ago, by the U.S. Border Patrol and released during the Biden administration. So why this girl's family isn't waiting on the

front lawn somewhere or at a hotel or ever. And I'm not, yes, I am, but I'm not, but I'm just saying. I'd be, at a minimum, I'll be peeping into the window of Biden's summer home or waiting for him at the beach this year during the Biden administration. Imagine that. He was sprung free again in June 2023 after a shoplifting arrest in Chicago. But what a racist country. Had Democrats, we really don't give brown people a fear shake, do we? It's really, it's really, It's all that fucking white supremacy. That is the real danger, isn't it?

It's not brown illegal people, is it? No. But most of them are trying to make a living. Oh my God, you just scared the shit out of me. I thought I touched my screen. I go, I don't remember that. That was weird. Fucking people.

You have no idea how to defend a nation. Medina Medina, also know as Millie Vanilli and Chucka Khan was charged with first degree yeast infections. Fucking kill him now. Tempted murder and weapons charges and is

slated to appear in court on Friday with the mariachi man. He failed to show up for a detention here on Monday after being hospitalized for tuberculosis. Good. I hope it spreads to your fucking sister and mother. No, your mother actually turned in. I'll leave her out of it. You're a piece of shit.

and anybody who liked you and anybody who votes Democrat, you're a piece of shit. Nick, you can't do that because you're entertaining. And what you're going to do is shrink your market to only, yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah. Remember Michael Jordan? They said, Michael, how come you don't talk politics? He goes, because both Democrats and Republicans buy sneakers.

To which I said, well, that's not really true. Republicans pay for them. Democrats kill kids and steal. the sneakers off the dead people. Another brilliant quote by me that never made the news. People on Fox could only pray, and I'm not saying who, to be that funny politically. Let's move on to vaping vermin.

The e-cigarette scourge is has become. That's what it says. AI article. The e-cigarette scourge is has become so virulent that even the squirrels apparently getting hooked on vaping. When I was a kid, we wouldn't get hooked on phonics.

Do you remember hooked on phonics? Yeah. That was Jack Sheldon, by the way, Merv Griffin's band leader who did the Conjunction Junction, what your function? Jack Sheldon. In a viral video circulating online, a gray squirrel is seen toting and automated smoking

the fire's well perched on a fence in Brixton, South London. The Telegraph reported Look at it. Look it. Looks like he has a little bottle of fucking vodka. Oh, that dirty cog sucker. Look.

Oh, my God. That's adorable. Show him blow it out his nostrils. Do they have nostil? It's like a big joint. Anyways. Last night, it's so funny. AI, you know, I know AI is going to be the death of us all, but it's still funny.

We can have fun on the way. Somebody sent me a, and it had to be AI, because when a dog farts, dust has not come out of their ass, right? I think. But it sure looked fucking, it's hard to even tell, right? But it was a Rottweiler. And he farts like huge, and you see like white powder come out of it, right in a cat's face. It's like in the living room in somebody's house.

Again, probably AI. The cat went fucking mental and kept attacking the Rottweiler. And the Rottweiler was just standing and the cats go, like literally get them around the neck. And the dogs just stand there looking at the camera. again, probably I was belly laughing like a retarded kid watching it. It was so goddamn fine. And the cat kept, he'd calm down. Then he would, just like the human would get pissed.

And you run out of steam from punching somebody and you start, then you do it again. I'm a child. Anyway, the tobacco-toting tree hopper was clutching the device between. Can I make a little statement about, I did a little vaping of my day. And I probably told us on the show. and I was smoking at the time, doing a little both stupid. Yeah, no, I put the cigarettes aside for the vape.

And the problem with the vape is I couldn't put it down. And you're not supposed to have it in your mouth all day. I think I heard that on my honeymoon. How many honeymoon jokes of my men? Yeah, you're not supposed to vape all day. And I was. Why?

Because you take a hit. They have menthol, bubble gum. I think they actually had fucking ravioli shrimp flavored and it's a nice your lungs fill up with this nice thick it feels great anyways I was doing that for a while

and then I went up there to Lake George to make that movie with Louis and he wrote in a scene at the last minute having me jump around on the lawn like doing a really gay dance whatever the fuck I mean I did it in regular speed then he put it in slow motion

or whatever. But so I jumped around for about a minute and a half, I couldn't get my breath back. It scared the shit out of me. You know, I was a jock when I was younger. And I never always, you know, cardio is easy. I couldn't get my breath back. It scared the shit out of it.

10 minutes later, I was still going. And that never happened, even with cigarettes. So I remember going into my duffel bag, I had like four vapes in there, brand new ones. I hadn't even opened. I threw them right in the fucking woods. Never touched them since. Now I hang out at these bars in Savannah

and I see these young kids sucking on that fucker. Do I tell them it's bad? No, I sit there and go, he-he. I'm telling you. Better off with cigarettes. Yeah, but there's rat poison and shit. Here's a stat you never hear, folks.

Maybe this will be part of my book. How come they never tell you how many people smoked their lives and didn't die because of it? Here's a number you've never heard. That would put shit in perspective, wouldn't it? Yeah, you don't want that. Anyways, the thing's clutching the device between its paws, like a fat girl, the slice of pizza,

appearing to chew on it, evoking the automated version of NYC's infamous cigarette smoking cockroach. I was too lazy to look that up. And you know why? I'm like, nothing's going to beat the pizzerat. However, these squirrels were likely not attracted to the nicotine, but rather the fruity smells wafting up from it. Experts said, well, how do you know? You don't know that. Maybe they like the buzz.

maybe they were they loved the tar and nicotine don't try to talk for the rats by the way in england in dallas knows this they treat these things like rats you know we we think they're cute we watch them run on the park in england they're chasing them with axes and shotguns in the old days you'd see lots of discarded cigarette butts but i don't remember squirrels running around with them Craig shuttleworth a red squirrel expert at bangor oh god it's in wales University in Wales. That sounded very mainish because they have a lot of trees

and a lot of told the owl that it would be reasonable to assume that a vape would be more attractive than a normal tobacco product that's not fruity. You don't have to bring gay people into this story.

Why do you have to... Unfortunately, the detrimental effects could be the same. Yeah, God forbid a fucking... God forbid the world would stop if a squirrel got a lump on his nut. Get it?

The wildlife officiano said that the critters could inadvertent. consume microplastics. You mean like we do every day? Yeah, exactly. They say we have, every time you take a dump, I forget they say, now they know how many plastics are in. It explains why, I read that, I stuck a sale on mine. What? Never mind. No, I'm on the vaping devices, but they could also ingest the nicotine. They don't encounter nicotine in the wild, so like many chemicals, how do you know? How do you know

there's not a bear in the woods in the winter selling Stogey's out the back of his cave? it's something you don't want them exposed to. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Animals dubbed the incident a stark reminder of the danger, discarded litter poses to our wildlife. Can I just say something to you? And I used to say this to Pam Madison, but I give her a break, but obvious reasons. You guys, you pour your whole life into the welfare of animals and all that.

That's all fine and good. But, you know, there are children. that get locked up to radiaties of being sex traffic and raped and shit. You might want to fucking concentrate on that before. I'm not a big Bible guy, but there is a pecking water. The last time I checked, we're still at the top of it. So, you know, you really care for squirrel shitting blood. We would urge people to hold on to their litter

until there's an opportunity to dispose of it safely and responsibly, they said, noting that $5 million single-use e-cigarettes were thrown out each week prior to a state ban on their sale. I saw a black squirrel, and this is the truth, and he was vaping, and of course it was menthol. I'll pause for the laugh that deserved. Nothing. This apparently isn't a one-off either.

In 2023, blog for the Animal Welfare Society, R-SPCA Scientific Officer, Evie Button. Okay, first of all, your title's way too long, and your name's Evie Button. Don't give a fuck what you said, you're stupid. Discussed a bird in New Zealand that died after swallowing a vaping, as well as pictures of a squirrel trying to bury one in whales.

Now I got confused, I read that I said, trying to bury another squirrel that died of vaping? And they're like, no, burying a vaping does. I like my version better. It's a very caring squirrel. Why? And there was another squirrel playing taps. Widely marketed as, with a vape gun,

gun? Are we almost done? I'm tired. Widely marketed as a safer alternative to cigarettes. Vapes have been linked to everything from heart disease to dementia to making zillions of dollars. And of course, serious lung issues. With several teen, e-cigs addicts, experienced near death from a lung collapse. Yeah, well, I'm still going to sleep like a baby tonight. Are you? I think so.

Yeah. No, no! In our FLA segment tonight, a grubby, convicted child killer. What a country we have. We're just rotten. was nabbed by Florida cops after he was found hanging out with Spring Breakers at a popular Florida beach this week. You know, Spring Break used to be a blast. I, you know, I partook of it in high school and college.

I mean, sure, chlamydia. You can get rid of that easy. I used to put my dick in, you know what, scope, bottle of scope. It wasn't mine. A kid that led my fraternity. You know, I dick. Anyways, cops from the Volusia County Sheriff's Office discovered Anthony Grove, Nashat, nonchalantly, boozing it up at a Daytona Beach during a sweep cracking down. Do you notice all the violence in the, there's actually gun problems now?

I don't have to mention who turned spring break into a gang initiation, but you guys can figure it out. During a sweep, cracking down on vacation, is out of control behavior on Saturday. We had to do a story on the one white guy that's fucking up spring break, but he looks like he's in his late 30s. And what a piece of shit this guy is. Listen to this. This is what we say. The little things matter. You enforce the small public nuisance crimes. And here we are. We find the guy that's sitting up on the seawall drinking booze. He's water out of Ohio. Plays that are real cool with us. And then he tells us as we're cuffing him up that it's from an incident where he killed his child.

A 34-year-old Anthony Grove is locked up here tonight in the Stark County Jail, charged with the murder of his infant son. Police say he threw that coffee mug that hit and killed him during a fight with the baby's mother. This is the kind of people we don't need on our beach. We don't need in our community. And I'm glad that we can get him off the sand. Hmm. Seems like a nice guy. Look at it. Apparently he was a big Martin Short fan. How much Martin Short was hair like that?

An S-Hill sketch, you're doing whatever that's a faggy character. Look at this piece of shit. Some woman fucked that. but there were no good men around. This piece of shit. And what's he 30 something? And he's trying to, you know, score high school and college pussy well.

You know, well, he just killed his baby a little while, but he's got, you know, a lot of stress and shit. You should go to Chicago. No, you're white, so they won't even have empathy for you on New York. He pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter and endangering the welfare of a child, according to Ohio authorities. At the time of his arrest him,

Florida last weekend. He was warned for violating his parole. Ohio warned the public that Grove should be considered dangerous and possibly armed and issued a warrant for his arrest on October 29th of 2025. I can't wait to see the future of spring break. It's got to be pretty much coming to an end soon everywhere because, again, a certain element got involved. I'm including him in that element because he's not really white, my opinion. Nick, what are you saying? I don't know. Maybe you can read through the fucking lines. And police body can't footage taken during, there was scumbags hanging out spring bag, yes, all the time, but not, you didn't have literally fucking five gun incidents like in a three-day span.

Never happened in the 80s. And police body came footage taken during his arrest of, Illusion County Sheriff Deputy Brian Henderson initially appears puzzled as he asked Grove why he was wanted in Ohio. And then they had an exchange and the cop said, you made it sound like your kid was in a car accident. Henderson asks in disbelief, to which Grove's response is unintelligible on the recording, but sparks an intense reaction from the officer. He said something like, I don't know. You're a warming me cotsucker, you know that?

Then he goes, go sit in the car. That's what he said. Like he's yelling at his eight-year-old kid. As another cop escort him to a squad car, Grove, who was, you know, sporting a Mohawk, silver change of bright green sunglasses, because when you're wanted, you know, for killing your kid, you don't want to draw attention to you. And the thing is, there's girls that would find that attractive.

That's how shallow and thanks to the Kardashians. Silver chain and bright green sunglasses on the beach. He can be heard saying, it's over, bro. Who's he talking about himself? I guess he's talking to himself. Who else would be saying that, though? Henderson was part of a huge surge of deputies sent to the beach in anticipation of yet another unruly spring break mob gathering

when he and a sheriff happened upon Grove sitting next to another man who was swigging a whiskey bottle. Well, that's all right. Whiskey on the beach, though. That's just, oof. Oofa. I got sun poisoning in high school.

We went down a spring break. Me and this kid, Ricky Brain, drinking on the... Literally, listen to this, how close we were back in the 80s. Using baby oil. We were out of Crisco, apparently. And we laid there and baked me and this kid Bobby brain and then around five o'clock

and we drink at Heineken's and whatever. We get both of us dehydrate you. You know, you fucking alcohol dehydrate you. You don't, but when you're, this is 1980. I'm still in high school, senior. Nobody knew any of that shit. And then me and him went back to the hotel and we both started throwing up. Not from the booze.

You know, we were a little buzzed. I'm like, what the fuck? He started sweating. I started sweating. and somebody had to point out to us some girl that we had sun poisoning so we're laying in the I'll still remember us we had the shades pulled

we get the air conditioner on 11 me and him are laying on you know separate beds it was an experiment than yet that was college and and fucking we had those things over our eyes we had wet cloths we had wet fake clothes on over our

laying there in the dock and I swear on my mother we to say we were talking in tongues, it might be going a little bit, but it was weird. We were babbling and it wasn't making sense. And I looked it up and they go, yeah, that's part. Isn't that creepy?

We dried our brains out or fried them or whatever the fuck. But he was saying shit that I wasn't making sense and he wasn't making sense. It was weird. It was fucking weird. I felt like, you know, you feel like you go down to, you know, the deep south of those snake handlers during the time. Talking that, yeah, well, they speak. and we sounded like, you know,

De Niro and Cape Fear when he's drowning in the river. Very fucking odd. Anyways, that's my spring break story. Luckily that guy, but you imagine you're sending your daughter down there and she hooked up with that piece of shit. But how about him?

Kales, zero conscience. And his idea, well, I got to get away from my fucking wife and the dead kid. I'm going to go see if I can get laid in Daytona. What? what happened anyways finally tonight

and for the week boys and girls we'll end on a very heavy note very sad notes called shits and giggles and no it's not a club I'm playing in Seattle next week Wisconsin police were on the smelly trail this story

I'll read it to you and tell you what I was going to do I was just going to play the local news that reported this story because it's about a lady shitting on a biking trail every day like having fun doing it early in the morning when nobody's around or whatever. Anyways, the story's about three minutes long.

They were doing a poop pun. Every other word of the story. And I was like, should we just play this? But I'm like, eh, I don't want to board the kids. Wisconsin police on the smelly trail. There's one. Smelly trail of a serial defector. Until the woman was tracked down

through the use of a drone and trail cameras. Can imagine you? shitting so many times outside that somebody goes, we've got to put a drone on her. It's like fucking mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom back in the 70s. I'll stay to the side as Doug wrestles the shitter. A viral post from Stoughton Police Department,

or as the girl said it on the news, not a girl, a woman in her 40s, Stoughton. I mean, in her 40s. Between that and the fried voice, I'm going to murder a woman and be hanging out next year at Dayton trying to get late. post

police department on Facebook said the drone captured video of the 46-year-old woman on February 5th. In the video published by WISN, that's Wisconsin, the officer reassured her that video of the interaction would not air

on television. SPD uses drone to arrest serial defector in City Park. Police wrote in all caps. Apparently it made the news. In extensive investigation, established a defecation pattern early in the morning at the park. First thing they did was to check to see if Joe Biden was in Wisconsin by the use of the cameras and drone.

This led to an officer confronting the woman about her illicit and public laboratory activities. Oh, for the love of Pete. After multiple reports of residents finding human feces and used toilet paper, in a city park. SPD used trail cameras and a drone to ID. Insight the person responsible. WISN TV obtained video of the police officer confronting the woman at five in the...

Hey, look, who hasn't been in the woods and you've got to squeeze one off? It's kind of nice. It's nature. You feel like a bear and you bang your chest and... Right? Fucking maybe hang out with a fucking vaping squirrel. But check this out.

This is hilarious. February 5th, an officer. spots a runner leaving the main trail toward the woods. Police believed to drop another smelly souvenir. Pause. When has ever a ship in a souvenir? What ballpark are you going to? Hey, it's shit day here at Wrigley Field.

The first 5,000 kids entering the park with a shit in their pants. Get an Ernie Bank signed baseball. All right, go ahead. Later, the runner returns to the main path. Unaware an officer is waiting with a body camera roll. Can you come here and talk to me? Sure. Can you look directly above me?

See the drone that just caught you going to the bathroom back here? Yeah. Yeah. Can I get footage? You've been doing this quite a while, too. Yeah, I'm sorry. I apologize. What's the matter with you?

Sorry. The fuck is the matter with you? I'm sorry. What'd you say? Are you being a fucking wise guy with me? What is that? I mean, she could easily get out of it going, I have a condition, you know, I had bowel surgery or whatever.

Make something up. Don't stand there. Yeah, I'm sorry. I love shitting. The woman, and she wasn't even German. The woman said she routinely, by people that don't get it, scatterological, they're into that, the Germans. Jern pawns, a lot of shitting going on. Nick, how do you know that?

Well, I majored in German. The woman said she routinely jogs but was unable to use the portable toilets that were usually available during warmer clans. Yeah, you don't load up a Taco Bell. before you go further. What do you fucking... I like this language. Usually available, the toilets, during warmer climes.

Climes is short for, I guess, climate for... Again, the officer told her to stop defecating on the trail and gave her a citation. Then he got her number. Yeah, you got her number. He's taken it to Chili Fest at Ruby Tuesday.

in the video published by Wisson, the officer reassured her that the video of the interaction would not air on television. Well, it didn't, I guess. It made the internet, which is way more popular now. And I quote, she said, I am mortified. Now, is that?

Because it was on? Or just that I, because she get busted. Either way, I'm a big fan lady. That's all I got to say. You got to go, you got to go. That's so funny. Right away, they knew it wasn't a bear or a raccoon, you know,

because they were, you know, first they thought it was a maid. They found bell peppers in it and salsa. Anyways, that's it, boys and girls for the week. Put another one in the book, as they say. Dallas, here we are, opening day. Next week, sometime it'll turn it to April, right? I think, I don't know. But this is what creeps you out at my age.

I'm just trying to give you guys how it works with me, especially if you're a sports fan. Because, as you know, sports, weather, they mark time. So it'll be April. We will start following our teams and all of a sudden, you're like, did I just see a story on the local news about rookie training camp? You know, for the Falcons or whatever. This is how it happens.

Is it not? Because like around in May, you start to get those little. blurps of NFL teams and shorts and shit. And then it's Memorial Day. And as my dad said, well, the summer's over. We used to go, what are you talking about? He goes, he goes, Fourth of July is around the corner.

And then it's over. He was a little pessimistic though. But I'm just saying, that's how it works. As you get all, they're all, they run into each other. Next, you know, it's June. You're like, wait a minute. The fucking, they're doing tour days and whatever.

And then you're dead. And no, you don't go up there and meet your parents and everybody who died before you and shit. A bunch of maggots and worms fill your crevices and you're gone. I'll leave you on that. Good night, everybody. That's it. Don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to send a personalized video to a friend, you tell me about that friend on camo.com, we can roast them.

I can say happy birthday. Whatever. Camio.com. You guys think it. I will continue to say it, even though everybody's giving credit to. to these young comics saying it when there's no risk involved. It didn't cause some of Korea. But anyways, I'm glad they're saying it too.

Very happy for the Shane Gillis's of the world. Guys like that I like because he's a funny fuck. I'm just saying. So you think it, I'll say, you're very welcome. I hope you have a great weekend. Follow your local baseball team. And don't get stabbed in the ass. That's all I got to say.

We'll see you back here on Monday. Bye. Hi. Good night, everybody.