The Nick DiPaolo Show - DeSantis Bitchslaps Bragg | Nick Di Paolo Show #1374

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

DeSantis Calls Out Bragg. Chris Rock Hits Dems With Reality. Poop On Broadway. Man Unloads Facts On Fauci. AI Attacking Cancer.   Join Nick for bonus content at Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow Go see Nick on the road! www.nickdip.com/tour for tickets!

Hey guys, the Nick DiPaolo show is going to be joining the Mug Club on Rumble in a few weeks. When it's time to move your subscription from Patreon to Rumble, we will let you know. You'll get my free show, my exclusive content, and shows by Jim Brewer, Brian Callen, and Stephen Crowder, all for less than what many of you are paying right now. Stay tuned for details, and thanks for your continued support. Now, Lily, how are you, folks? Welcome to the show. I don't know what day it is. Wednesday?

Yes, I got it. It's a Wednesday. Really dressed up, didn't I? The fuck? Looks like I just got off of Vespa from a gay neighborhood. What, folks? Why? Why, Nick?

Why all that type of... Because we're taking the world back. You understand? We're at a crossroads here. I think everybody's had enough. There might be a turning point. I don't know. Maybe the PC wokeness is so embedded, again, because this started 40, 50 years ago, all this horse shit. You understand? So they really might have left an imprint that's indelible. Here's a big word for a dumb guinea. So I don't know. But I know people, a lot of people have had enough that, let's say, 10 years ago didn't have enough.

But even they're like, come on. Even gay guys are like, so what? I blow a few people. Big deal. We vote Republican. You're goddamn right you do. The whole sex thing. And I don't just say this to be PC,

because, you know, I'm not PC. But that never fucking really... I know you're supposed to say it, you know, like Louis C.K. has a bit about, it's not like they're fucking on my front lawn in the morning. But, you know, I mean, the shit I tried on women when I was in college, I should be getting out of prison right about now.

I mean really dirty shit. Tell them I'm going cow pushing, bring them with me, then leave them in the field nude next to a cow. Well, she's pushing, I get behind. Oh, I could go on for hours. Truth is, the girls up in Maine, they were the cows. You know, have a hang on that thing now. What else? Oh, Dallas, last night I made, when I do the next Bitchin' Kitchen,

this is the one I'm doing. I think I told you guys about this one. When I was in Rome, me and the wife were having lunch in Florence, I believe. And I ordered this. It's called polpero in Cartaccio. Polpetto is octopus, cartaccio is envelope carton like, you know the Italians with this. Holy shit, take a whole octopus,

you simmer it in hot water, you throw a wine cork in. Fucking old Guinea superstition. I couldn't find one, so I threw my keys in it. Tasted very fucking metal-y. And you simmer it up for like an hour. Then you cut it up into bite-sized pieces. Also bell peppers. And you cut potatoes into little tiny pieces. Kalamata olives, red onion,

God damn, I always forget, something else. And then you put it, you make an envelope out of Reynolds wrap, tinfoil, and you put it, you put that, lay it like that, and then you make the envelope around it and seal it, and you put it in the oven for 25 minutes, 30 minutes at three, and you open it and the steam just comes out

Then you squeeze fucking lemon all over it and really expensive olive oil. It's And you could eat that shit till the cows can't not put on a pound. It's so Mediterranean and healthy That's why I have it once every four years What well, you know dominoes and whatnot, but it's Andy's favorite when she asked me to make it I kind of go, oh, fuck, because it's a little labor-intensive. But I hired this Asian girl in the late teens who's really good with it. Is that stereotypical?

Tereotypical? Yeah, it is. Hold on. Let me have a cup of juice. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good coffee. Anyways, hey, the news is getting really interesting, isn't it? Let's get right to the news, since that's what you guys listen for.

I'm the new Walter Cronkite. Dallas, he was a guy in the 70s, was the most trusted man I knew, and he was a fucking lefty after he retired. Fucking scumbag. The president has been shot, it's official. President Kennedy is dead at 3 o'clock. Anyways, these fucking lights. What am I, Van Halen?

We're going to adjust these later on. We're going to put 11-watt bulbs. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Monday blasted Manhattan District Attorney, fat fuck, racist, I hate America, Alvin Bragg, as a Soros-funded prosecutor. Really? Y'all fat fuck, look at you. In his first public remarks about former President Donald Trump's claim that he will be arrested on Tuesday. DeSantis, a likely main rival to Trump as he seeks the 2024 Republican nomination. He'll be tough in debates, I was thinking.

This guy is no dope. Neither is Trump. He'll go with a more cerebral approach and Trump will, you know, well, look at my record. You know, know yes you did it at the state level I've done it before and you get small hands and your tie sucks yeah and look at your tie what is that probably made in China seeks the 2024 Republican nomination also provoke Trump's Make America Great Again campaign by saying he wouldn't get involved in any way in the case. Addressing Trump's claim of an indictment, DeSantis said he has only seen the rumors swirl, but no facts. So I don't know what's going to happen,

he says. I don't know nothing about that. Ah, you do too. Stop with that. He's your main rival. You're a great politician. Come on. Don't start lying before you become president. But I do know this, the Manhattan District Attorney is a George Soros. And why is Soros untouchable? Nobody can fucking sabotage this guy.

He's one of the people that runs the planet. It's time for him to fall down, have an accident in the gym. The gym? He's 99. Have an accident when he's being blown by a harem. Anyways, the Manhattan District Attorney is George Soros' funded prosecutor, and so he, like other Soros-funded prosecutors, they weaponize their office to impose a political agenda on society at the expense of the rule of law and public safety,

DeSantis told reporters during a news conference on Monday. You are correct, sir. He is correct. That's well put. Everybody knows it. This guy, and again, how the fuck? on Monday. You are correct, sir. He is correct. That's well put. Everybody knows it. This guy, and again,

how the fuck? Look, I'm showing a little ignorance here. I guess they're appointed, right? The mayor, doesn't he appoint the district attorney? Wasn't Adams supposed to be a law and order guy?

You see how it's, he didn't pick him. Somebody said to Adams, you got to put this guy in here to keep our revolution going. It's such fucking horseshit. Look at New York. How can this guy have the balls to be chasing Trump on this stupid charge?

And people are being knocked out, raped, murdered, mugged, and record number. Oh my, I don't buy any of it. The governor ripped Bragg for downgrading half the felonies to misdemeanor. That's the first thing he did when he got in office. And putting the lives of New Yorkers at risk. He said, lucky I live in Florida. No. He says he doesn't want to even have jail time.

This is DeSantis talking about Bragg. He doesn't want to have jail time for the vast, vast majority of crimes. And what we've seen in Manhattan is we've seen the crime rate go up and we've seen citizens become less safe, no doubt about it. Can't argue that. That was during the interview in the background. He said Bragg and other Soros-backed district attorneys are a menace to society. They really are. I just, I don't, I don't know where they come from.

Where they, for ignoring crime, this jerk-off went to Harvard, by the way. For ignoring, you could argue Harvard's put out more dummies than geniuses in its history. I think the last 20 years they tipped the scale to retarded. Again, America haters. Ignoring crime while coddling criminals. And that hurts a lot of people every single day. Like that chick. Right there.

She's been screaming like that since I started the show. Somebody see what the fuck she wants. She's been screaming like that since I started the show. Somebody see what the fuck she wants. He went on to say he would not get involved in the case, including extradition against Trump. A fellow Floridian, as you remember, Mar-a-Lago. And wouldn't that be funny? They're like, you're going to extradite him to New York.

Ah, fuck you. Wouldn't that be crazy? He's saying that he, you know, I don't know what he's saying. He's going to enjoy it on TV like the rest of us. He says, I have no interest. Could there be a more exciting time, though, with an election coming up not that far away, with all this shit going on? I can make a prediction.

I don't think Bragg and the Democrats have the balls to go through with this indictment, to handcuff Trump. I think they'll be handing it. It's not just me. Everybody's saying that. I think they'll be handing him the presidency. But you know what? You can't assume that, I guess, because half the jerk offs in this country supposedly still

vote Democrat, even after all the shit they've pulled. So they don't give a fuck if they weaponize it. They just want to win. That's how they play. But this is going into straight up Stalinism. I have no interest in getting involved in some type of manufactured circus by some Soros DA. He's trying to do a political spectacle. He's trying to virtue signal for his base. trying to do a political spectacle. He's trying to virtue signal for his base. He's talking about brag at this point. I've got real issues I got to deal with here in the state of Florida, DeSantis said. Trump's Make America Great Again campaign put out a statement Monday afternoon to respond to DeSantis' comments saying, Ron is wrong. He's wrong. These cuffs are real.

Finally getting Trump down. Good, he's coming back. This is a real issue, the statement said, adding that DeSantis doesn't think that the weaponization of our legal system is a real issue. He just said it was. Exactly. I think you guys will think, I think they were thinking he was talking about Trump doing this as a

political, I think they took it wrong. I'm a great communicator, and I am. You say that, kid, I'm going to tell you. Can't tell by the shirt? Yes. Anyhow, let's stay on this topic, I think, right, in a related

thing. Chris Rock, my old boss and buddy, good dude, still texts once in a while. Sure, he hates Whitey, but, you know, he doesn't really. He's actually, like I said, if you meet him, he's a likable dude. But, you know, he grew up in a fucking rough neighborhood. And I saw it firsthand.

Not growing up, but we went back there to do some stuff back in the 2000s on his show. Chris Rock hits Democrats with reality. 2000s on his show. Chris Rock hits Democrats with reality. Comedian Chris Rock warned U.S. lawmakers on Sunday that arresting former President Trump would only make him more popular.

Yes, sir! Goddamn right. Who don't know that? Except for Alvin Bragg and fucking Chuck Schumer and all the other douchebags. Rock made the comments while in Washington, D.C. This is how old we're getting. For an event honoring Adam Sandler.

He's getting the most shitty movies ever made in a 10-year period. You know, Sandler's a Republican, too, which surprised the shit out of me. I always brag that he bought me lunch out in L.A. I just came out of the gym.

I knew him a little bit you know ain't a problem sat there and you know he ordered the $5,000 bottle of wine I had a Sprite no he'd be actually but he was very nice he's a fucking good guy for an event honoring Sandler that just makes me feel old. I still am singing with a guitar, singing his Jew song. He began poking fun at the well-connected Capitol crowd, which included douchebag Speaker Nancy Pelosi. She was in the audience. And members of President Biden's administration. He asked the question while he was on stage, are you guys really going to arrest Trump, Rock asked? Do you know this is only going to make him more popular?

It's like arresting Tupac. He always brings Tupac. He's just going to sell more records. Well put. Are you stupid? Which is a rhetorical question let me ask you a question my old friend chris rock are you still voting democrat because that makes you fucking retarded uh he's you know he's a lifelong new yorker and and grew up poor so you can understand how he

started that way but you gotta you're a comedian you're supposed to you know the lay of the land you look at the establishment you've got to know that the party you've been voting for is a fucking criminal enterprise at this point. I don't know. I think Tupac, if he were alive, he'd be voting for Trump. I mean, you're a comedian. Who's for free speech? The Democrats or the Republicans? Come on. Are you stupid? He asked, and Pelosi raised their hand. to the Republic. Come on! Are you stupid, he asked, and Pelosi raised her hand. He asked

as the room laughed. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. There was Pesci in the front row. A rock went on to riff on the circumstances of Trump's potential indictment, which arose from his relationship

with adult film star Stormy Daniels. Trump, he goes, Trump fucking a porn star and paid off someone so his wife couldn't find out. That's romantic. He goes, we've all been cheated on. Don't you wish that the person that cheated on you paid off somebody so you wouldn't find out he had it? Pretty good logic, I got to admit, off somebody so you wouldn't find out he had it? Pretty good logic, I got to admit, because I felt some pain when I found out that my life partner, Kevin McGillicuddy, was blowing the valet guy at the Four Seasons. Back to the show. Trump tweeted this weekend that New York City authorities may arrest him on Tuesday. Has it happened yet? I think we would have got broken breaking it He called on his supporters to protest and take our country back in the event of his arrest

I am your voice Goddamn right and you will be again, hopefully Anyways, let's stay in New York. Although that was in D.C. Okay, let me put it this way. Let's stay in another crime-ridden shithole. New York City. What's the headline? The Great Brown Way. Folks, I bet you Dallas, you didn't know what I meant by that, did you? They call Broadway the Great White Way. I read the history and I forget already, but I know that. So I call this the Great Brown Way.

Why are you calling it that? Well, let's take a look. Page six, you know, that's the entertainment page, hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Schubert Theater. And the last time they struck, a turret appeared in the aisle near who? None other than Hillary and Chelsea Clinton. Some like it hot is what they were there to see. I think it was Hillary

You know what the post had, Dallas? The sub headline Some like it steaming I miss my friend Greg Zook He would have fucking shit his pants on that one A source close to the show Insists that it was a regrettable One-off incident

But another source tells us that the theater staff said that the shits, listen, here they are playing fun again. The theater staff said that the shits almost hit the fans, oh God, at other performances as well. Oh, Hillary, it's not funny. Last week, when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience, the lights came up for intermission, and there were two human turds, Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer,

in the aisle just near the famous political... There was human doo-doos next to these two. I wonder if it was impractical jokers. The insider added, the house crew dealt with it very appropriately. Well, how else would you deal with it? Is there any other way to deal with it other than pick it up?

You just start flinging it into the balcony. The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea are made in the theater for the second act, even with a stench. They're used to it. Bill used to come home in the Lodin's pants after 3,000 whiskeys.

Listen to the theory. It was an elderly person, and it's rather sad, but yes, the house staff worked quickly to help resolve the situation. They think it was Helen Hayes herself. And Act II started. You mean Act No. 2. Yeah, that's right.

I had to do it. The first insider says that after the most recent incident, an eyewitness spoke to the House manager who said, it was actually the fourth time this has happened. I played the Schubert. I didn't do poopoos. The source widely speculated there is someone who is either shitting in the aisle or surreptitiously dumping defecation that they smuggled into the theater. Bon appetit.

Can you imagine? Whoever's doing it, I love. I don't know who's doing it. It's got to be a young fucking politically, you know, I don't know. Maybe it's a bit of actress. The show has been attracting VIPs, including Spielberg, Martin Short, Debbie Allen. Yeah, okay. 1970, you light up my life.

Bo Derek, again, she's in her late hundreds. Eddie Izzard, I don't find him funny at all. Hank Azaria and Kristen Chenoweth, who's a Broadway star. Even I know that little blonde. So someone's pooping in the aisles. Isn't that a sign to get out of New York? Hey, guys and gals and girls and fellas, I'll be back on the road this weekend. Here's where you can see me, March 23rd, 24th, and 25th.

That's this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Comedy, Key West in Key West, Florida. April 21 and 22, The Funny Bone in St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri, respectively. May 12th, Hilton Daytona Beach Oceanfront Resort, Daytona Beach, Florida. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the goddamn tour button. Next headline. Fuck no, Fauci.

This is a, I don't know where this clip came from. I guess they're out still pushing the fucking vaccine like door to door now. Watch this brother spout the truth about vaccines to Fauci and his cohort. I guess they were, they're trying to, you know, because you know, black people who are

damn right, they're like, we're not taking that shit. Was it the fucking, what is it, what are the airmen? Come on, Tuskegee. God help me. I wouldn't.

The government's, but listen, that's not why they're right. They're right that they shouldn't trust anybody. But watch Fauci knocks on a door. And you know they're so arrogant, they think everybody's going to agree with them and shit. But watch this brother, who's not the most educated, but he is on this. I fucking love the way this guy didn't you know cower to this jack off go ahead roll it right now as close as we are is that i've been vaccinated right but if it allowed thousands

of people like you don't get vaccinated you're going to let this virus continue to percolate in this country and in this world. Something like the common flu then, right? It's much more serious than the flu. The flu kills a lot of people annually. You know how many people died of the flu the last year? Not this year, virtually none, but the previous

year, about 20,000 to 30,000. How many people have died from COVID-19 in the United States? Thanks to you. 600,000 Americans. Well, the number that you all are giving that died, that's, once again, that's you all's number. Pause. He's right. Remember all the ones they were counting?

If you went into the hospital for a sprained ankle and they gave you a test that was positive, you know, they were saying you went to the hospital because you had COVID, and all the people that died because of comorbidity, they weren't counting the overweight and all those other factors. So the brother is right. Go ahead. Yes.

Yeah, definitely. Because when you start talking about paying people to get vaccinated, when you start talking about incentivizing things to get people vaccinated, there's something else going on with that. there's something else going on with that. There's something else going on with that. It is something going on with that.

You're right. But I'm glad millions of people like me and most everybody here didn't get an incentive. You know what their incentive was? Protecting their health and protecting the city. But I won't keep you anymore. It's okay because my incentive to your campaign is about fear. It's about inciting fear in people. You all attack people with fear.

That's what this pandemic is. It's a fear. It's fear, this pandemic. He's absolutely right. And you see little Fauci storm off. He didn't say thank you, sir, for taking the time. Little bitch. That guy was well-armed with the facts.

And they're trying to push that shit. Makes me sick. Finally tonight, artificial intelligence smacks down cancer. This was interesting. I found this artificial intelligence. We can use it for good things. I don't believe it's going to take over and murder us. I still don't believe it.

Because we're the ones putting shit into it, right? There's people a lot smarter than me that are scared of it, like the guys that write these programs. But I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure a bucket of water would slow me. I always picture the, I picture, I don't know if you guys remember, you know what, Will Robinson, Danger, Will Robinson, Lost in Space. Artificial intelligence has developed a treatment for cancer. See, you can use it for good in just 30 days and can predict a patient's survival rate.

Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. Those are the robots, talk. In a new study published in the journal Chemical Science, researchers at the University of Toronto, along with Insilico Medicine, developed a potential treatment for hepatocellular carcinoma, that's HCC, with an artificial drug discovery platform called Pharma AI. HCC is the most common type of liver cancer and occurs when a tumor grows on the liver, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Research has applied AlphaFold, a friend of mine in high school,

friend of mine in high school, Alfred Folt, an AI-powered protein structure database to farmer AI to uncover a novel target, a previously unknown treatment pathway for cancer and developed a novel hit molecule, like a hit man, a butt man, like, you know, the godfather. You had how many buffers, Senator? That could bind to the target without aid. This is brilliantly, think about where we're going with this.

The creation of the potential drug was accomplished in 30 days. You know why? Trump was probably behind it. From the selection of the target and after synthesizing just seven compounds. You got good stuff here. Class A chip. It is what I have in play. After a second round of generating compounds, they discovered a more potent hit molecule. But any potential drug would need to go through clinical trials before widespread use because

it's the United States. trials before widespread use because it's the United States. AI is rapidly changing the way drugs and medicine are discovered and developed as the traditional method of trial and error is slow, expensive, and limits the scope of exploration. The paper is further evidence of the capacity for AI to transform the drug discovery process with enhanced speed, efficiency, and accuracy. Moe Howard said, a Nobel Prize winner. No, Michael Leavitt, a Nobel Prize winner in chemistry. So it's not me saying it with a 2.5 in business administration.

That's pretty goddamn exciting, folks. Especially if you've got liver problems. But you see, if you use it for good instead of war, eh, whatever. I guess when we're using it for war to protect us, it's good. But seriously, wouldn't that be funny? Folks, this is almost another argument. They'll never cure cancer because it's too much money and not finding a cure. But it makes the argument harder when you get AI.

AI, by the way, who can write a fucking 200-page thesis in five minutes. Kids are using it for college papers. It's kind of creepy. Where was that shit when I was at college? I had to use the old-fashioned way, the kid from Korea next to me. And even he sucked as a student. Just my luck. Anyways, that is it for today, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't forget Cameo.com. I dropped the price a lot because you've been good to me for a long time. And you deserve a break today as they said at that Arby's that's it you guys think and I'll say you're very welcome see you back here tomorrow take care hi good night everybody guitar solo Outro Music