The Nick DiPaolo Show - DeSantis Da-Man in Straw Poll | Nick Di Paolo Show #559

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

13y.o. dead after second Pfizer shot. Colorado mayor gets steamrolled. Time for NCAA to compensate athletes.

Hey guys, this show, the Nick DiPaolo Show, is a place you can come to for an hour each day and know that the truth is going to be spoken. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's comedy, oftentimes it's both. Any way that you cut it, though, it's always honest, unfiltered, and free from the bias you'll find pretty much everywhere else, and certainly all day long by mainstream media. Free speech lives here, and it always will. I want to thank you all for supporting the show, and I want to encourage you to contribute on the comicsgym.com page or visit nickdip.com and click on Contribute.

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There's a fly on your head. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you guys. At least it's not a cicada. I swear you guys again. There's a fly on your head. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you guys. At least it's not a cicada, I swear. Those things are... Okay. Maybe you should shut your legs, Jen. guitar solo Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to the show on a Tuesday. Whoa, Black Betty, bam, a lamb.

I say, whoa, Black Betty, bam, a lamb. A Black Betty had a child. Bam, a lamb, a damn thing gone wild. Bam, a lamb, I said, I ran about a mile, bam, oh, blackberry. Hi, how are you? Welcome to the show. I am your host, Wolf Blitzer. Am I that fat, really?

Wow. I really ain't. This is all copy. When you wake up You're dehydrated If you drink a little bit of liquid Your face holds it Why do I talk about this Because every time I do gigs

And I meet people live They go You're way thinner than It's the fucking cameras man You know what I'm saying But Jesus What the fuck Oh god Real quick playoff hockey i think it's the best sport in the world as far

as spectator sport goes football is my favorite but but as far as spectator sport playoff nhl hockey you can't beat it unless you were watching last night when the new york islands got beat eight to nothing by the tampa bay lightning and mean, this has been the best series of the playoffs so far. These two teams hate each other. It's been really close. And then this shellacking. You know what I mean? I don't know if you guys give a fuck about hockey, but it's my show.

So, Kiss McGritt. What are you going to watch, honestly? Do you believe they still put on, like, WNBA games? Who the fuck? There's like 11 lesbians in Nebraska sitting around going, this is terrific. It's dog shit. All right, I guess we should move along.

Enough of the cock-a-poop-a. Hey, Ron DeSantis. DeSantis is the straw that stirs the GOP drink, as I like to say. Former President Donald Trump, by most accounts, is currently atop the list of potential GOP presidential candidates for 2024. However, get this, Florida Governor ron desantis has been catapulted into the conversation of major contenders for the republican party in 2024 thanks in large part to his leadership during the coronavirus pandemic a new straw poll gave desantis a slight edge over trump that's great news because i like desantis and i I love Trump. So I'm pretty excited, actually.

Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. Yes, we are. Put them on one ticket. And let me, can I just say this? People are going, is Trump, you think he's going to, he wants to be Speaker of the House, he mentioned a little bit. Do you really think a guy with that ego is not going to be the top dog president, most powerful man in the free world? You really think Trump would say, I'm sorry, man. And it doesn't matter. This guy's tremendous too. But anyways, the Western Conservative Summit, which bills itself as the largest gathering of conservatives outside Washington, D.C., was held this weekend in Denver, Colorado, where they like to smoke weed and shoot each other up. In-person attendees and online participants were asked about their approval

of a field of 31 potential presidential candidates for 2024. DeSantis topped the list with 74.12% approval rating, followed by Trump at 71.43. That's just a red pubic hair away. DeSantis and Trump are far and away the two top candidates, as the third place finisher, Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, only captured 42.8% approval rating, according to the Daily Wire. And he said, nothing burger, nothing burger, nothing burger. Trump's former Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, who I think would be tremendous. I want to see either Trump Pompeo ticket or DeSantis Trump or a DeSantis Pompeo.

Surprised he came in fourth. And Senator Tim Scott, the black Republican that everybody wants to call an Uncle Tom on the left, rounded out the top five. South Dakota Governor, piece of ass Kristi Noem, came in sixth, followed by Tom Cotton. Right here, a good friend of mine from the arkansas tom cutton senator rand paul of kentucky donald trump jr and finally last of the 10 vice president pence he was beat out by don jr my god maybe it's because he looks like a guy you would cast as a president in a movie. That looks like a, it could be a wax figure in front of Madame Tussauds in London.

Anyways, Pence was booed actually at this summit and called a traitor. Last week. I, you know, I don't know. I, well, he can't be happy. I think his face says it all. I should have backed him on January 6th. Motherfucker, I sold him out. Uh, you know, when you work under Trump, it's like working under Michael Corleone. You show one ounce, one ounce of unloyalty, you're going to end up going to Vegas to learn the craps game.

Like Fredo. Yeah, Mike sent me to Vegas to learn the gambling game. To learn the casino. It should be noted that the straw poll allowed participants to select as many candidates as they wanted. So, but DeSantis, and again, that's because, not just because how he took the lead in opening his state with the coronavirus.

He speaks out on everything and seems to be on the right side of the, you know, I think he's trying to pass a bill or he already did. Trans athletes and shit, that's pretty obvious to us normal people. You know what I mean? So that is no surprise. But that will be a tough ticket to beat. And again, I'm going to preface this by saying, I always do this, unless Dominion machines are used again. Well, can you imagine if the Democrats win the midterms? Do you understand what that means? You'll never, ever see a Republican Party again.

That's how big this is. I'm not exaggerating. I've been doing this for eight minutes. I know what I'm talking about. Let's move on. I just mentioned how he handled coronavirus, DeSantis. Here's some coronavirus news. Kind of sad news, and it angers me.

I don't know who to blame on this one. 13-year-old boy found dead after second Pfizer shot. Nick, why won't you get it? Because I read months ago what? They said, months ago they said, what is it, 5,000 people in Europe had died from Pfizer? Whatever. Anyways, Tammy Barages put a tweet out. A week ago, my brother's 13-year-old son had his second COVID shot. Less than three days later,

he died. That is bad. He's dead, and we couldn't do nothing about it. The initial autopsy results done Friday were that his heart was enlarged and there was some fluid surrounding it. He had no known health problems, was on no medications. Tammy Barrage is a pro-vaccine but couldn't stay silent any longer after her 13-year-old nephew died from heart inflammation only three

days after his second jab. I mean, they did a study in Israel. We mentioned it last week. 25% of teenagers who got it, boys, developed some type of heart problem condition. I mean, Christ. I feel bad for the parents. You don't want to kick them when they're down, but why would you, again, if you're following the science like the Dems say, your 13-year-old kid is in no danger of getting it. None.

Almost zero. Then you can blame jerk-offiden and the people who are pushing it otherwise maybe these parents wouldn't have felt the pressure it's a tough call but then she put out a second tweet tammy uh the uh at cdc gov needs to investigate this there have been other cases of myocarditis and young men receiving their second Pfizer shot have others died from it in the United States or is my nephew uh the first you know if you asked uh if you asked Fauci that he'd go it's a sick question you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna to answer it. Yeah, okay. I think parents should be warned of the risk,

she said. Yeah. They have been. Then there's a picture at the end of the thing. How will we know the vaccine is working? Will the survival rate go from 99.7 to 99.8? I think that's said

rhetorically, or it's a jab. I get no pun intended, but it's a zinger, right? Yeah, exactly. Good question. But wouldn't you that that is the saddest God, a perfectly healthy 13 year old boy. And again, there's been no science saying that young kids, and now you're seeing they're marketing it to young kids. They're having raffles. My wife read this story yesterday. Someone could get a million and a half dollars just for getting the shot. And I mean, how ethical is that? You're having lotteries for something that should be your choice, and they're pushing it on you.

This is the biggest fucking farce ever. I am so tired of looking at people, even in cities where they've already called it off, still wearing their fucking mask. I mean, how deep do you ingest this horse shit that you get on TV? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck, said Chubby? I'm like one of those girls that, what are they, belamics, that fucking, they're going to binge.

Only I don't cough it up. I just digest that shit. Late at night I get, especially when I do any cardio during the day. Oh my God. I eat like fucking a 600 pound man. Enough about my problems. Does it matter? I'm married.

Who gives a rat chihuahuas ball sack? Washington Post. we move on. Washington Post, otherwise known as WAPO, explainer video, encourages white people to feel shame, create white accountability groups. To that I say, suck my white European average cock and swallow it. Whoever said that about white people, you fucking, oh, why do you get so upset, Nick? Because when I watch the news and I go on the internet, I'm surrounded by black people shooting each other, beating up old Asian women, committing

rape, fucking murder. Just we're wallowing in it and and then it's it's white people that are problem now watch these two women speaking you know they're doing it behind a gated especially the white broad she's gonna tell you white people what's wrong with you where do you get your fucking ovaries honest to God first it's a a cute black chick who's a racist go ahead george floyd's death became a deeply personal and racial tragedy for many americans for the first time white people were becoming aware of their whiteness pause systemic pause tying george floyd's death to all of us She just said white people in general

became aware of their whiteness. Like Derek Chauvin's actions has anything to fucking do with anybody but fucking Derek Chauvin. Can you imagine me coming on and going, you know, after every clip where we show, you know, or a black rapist or whatever,

and I come on and I go, finally, black people are aware of them being black. First of all, that would be a lie, because it goes on every day. Can you imagine me saying that, though? Just reverse the races. Can you imagine? That incident made people aware of their whiteness? No, it made me aware, once again, a black guy was doing something wrong, was told by a cop to stop resisting, and continued, and actually helped the demise of himself. Look how young she is, and she believes this shit. Go ahead, let it roll before I pull her fucking dreads out.

Ways that white supremacy affects all of us. White people in particular. Pause. Look at George Washington. Look, it's George fucking, she doesn't look like the fucking, what's he on, the $1 bill? Look at that. Now look what she's speaking. She's got a nice plant behind her, a nice backdrop, but she's going to, she talks like

she's living in a downtown Detroit in a basement apartment. Let's listen to what the old dumb twat has to say. Aroused, get upset, say this is unjust. This isn't right. She says white people get aroused when they see something like the floyd but they get up get aroused yeah i was jerking off fuck you you stupid fucking blabbermouth cut she talking about go ahead happen there's like an awakening that happens and so part of their racial identity development is

Seeing that awakening what they do with it is Really the next piece and she's talking in a third person like she's not white what they do with it Do you see how morally superior these people who think like that? They really think they're fucking better than you think like that? They really think they're fucking better than you? To George Washington, I say.

You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H. You keep looking at me, I'm gonna put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Okay, back to this girl again? Okay. This episode, we're tackling white racial identity

and why understanding your whiteness is integral to becoming self-aware as a white person. I'm Nicole Ellis and this is The New Normal. White people became aware. That was the most... And coming from such a young woman,

do you understand how ignorant that statement was? Well, you would if mainstream media called it out. But unless you're watching Fox or One American News, we actually get real news, and they have the balls to actually veer into that lane. You're not going to know anything. You're going to think she's right. I remember when OJ cut his wife's head off with a steak knife going, fucking black people, huh?

Finally, they're becoming aware. No, they were cheering at the fucking verdict and everything. Time for a sip of tea. Time for a sip of tea. I have my beautiful necktie on that one of my fans gave me. I can't remember where. Cleveland, maybe? Baltimore?

One of those. Thank you so much again. It's my favorite one in the collection. I tied my wife up with it last night. And then I went out and had drinks listen let's move on to some oh another black lady some more black news again you're gonna like this one this was terrific this lady is not aware of her blackness, apparently. Black mom thief stealing scooters for her kids.

Wasn't an outright theft. She had a beef with it. Sounds like an Asian store owner, surprise, surprise, who she bought two scooters. And she's trying to say that he said both of them for $25. And he's saying, no, $35. She thinks she can just take fucking, you know, reparations. It's mine, motherfucker. These poor Asian people have had enough. I want you to watch this and picture if you're the little kids.

That's who I feel bad for, this lady's little kids. And this is going to be one of their memories of their mom. And then you're going to wonder why, when they grow up, they're in jail by 14 or arrested or whatever. And again, I'd like to say to the last lady, I hope this makes black people aware of their blackness,

which is so unfair to say. Go ahead. How much for this one? You told me 25 for both of them. 35. 35. And you can't step outside just honey, come here. No. Let go of me. No, I feel everything.

I have a proof. 911 honey. I know. I will pay for it. Leave here. Let go. Leave here. Leave here. Let go. Leave here. Let go now.

Leave here. Wait. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You don't touch me. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Watch out.

That's a stealing. Watch out. That's a stealing. That's a stealing. That's a stealing. All right, you steal. I'm not stealing. I'm not stealing.

I'm not stealing. Cecily Strong. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that.

You're stealing that. You're stealing that. Somebody bang that woman. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. You're stealing that. That's so bad.

That's so bad. You're touching me. That's so bad. You're touching me. That's so bad. You're touching me. I'm glad you touched me. That's so bad. Now's so bad. I'm glad you touched me. That's so bad. Uh-oh.

Watch out for them soft drinks. Don't ever touch me, bitch. You got me fucked up. Don't ever touch me. Don't ever touch me. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

No worries. I have a proof. I have a proof. You guys can call police now. No worries. No worries. Call them. Call them.

Yeah. Yeah. These blacks. Call them. These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. You fat, nasty black bitch. Chinese people. I was watching NBC Nightly News. This is in the early 80s.

And they interviewed an Asian woman who had her bodega robbed in New York. She looks right in the camera and she goes, black people, they steal too much. Black people, they steal too much. And we all know not all black people steal just about 78%. A man

goes to a bodega. He sees Cherry Mountain Dew, four for a dollar. I hope they're aware of their blackness. Oh my God, I can't believe that bitch said that. Let's move on to the center of the country, where has anything good, can I ask you, happened in Colorado in the last, I don't know, well, unless you're a pothead, the legalization of pot, but we had the movie shooting, we had another shooting at a supermarket, all kinds of, imagine the whole country is just spoiled by white liberals and black crime. And just, it's metastasizing like a cancer. And you know why?

Because of guys like this. This spineless white mayor, boy, this guy makes like the Portland's mayor look like fucking, you know, Sam Adams. Listen to this left-wing dick. Drunk on power, as I call it. Colorado cocksucker mayor gets steamrolled. Shane, his name, his first name is Shane. I suck. You suck what?

I suck cock. All right. Shane, I suck cock Furman. The mayor of Silverton, Colorado, announced at a trustee meeting last week. I don't even know what that means. That the Pledge of Allegiance will be suspended. Now, here's where he comes in to be a... Why? Due to direct and indirect threats, which prompted at least one trustee to challenge his ruling before attendees recited

the pledge anyways. KDVR reported that Furman said he made the decision based on inappropriate comments in and out of public meetings and general divisiveness and issues created in our community is what this pencil neck said. So in other words, let me translate all that horseshit for you. Some people felt differently than the people who were for the pledge of leads. I happened to side with them. So you know what? That scares me. I've been having threats and people arguing that I was wrong. Look at him standing there like a cheerleader. Nice pose, bitch. These guys and guys like them, they are... Did you guys ever know that there were so many people that hated this country this deeply? I knew the left had problems with our country,

but did you have any idea, to the point where they want to change the language, change the curriculum in school, make white people bow and kiss black? Did you have any fucking idea that it ran this deep? They're just opening the door for the Republicans. Republicans, if you can't win the midterms, give it the fuck up. One of the trustees challenged him and called out his unilateral decision.

You know, he's a dictator. He downplayed her concerns and told her to find out where it's written that says he cannot make such a ruling, at which point he would welcome that discussion at our next meeting. Right after we do it, he says, you know, what a dick. You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed,

English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. Here's the tweet. Lauren Bobert. I think that's her first name Yes She put the tweet of the clip So the audio is a little scrambly

But listen to how arrogant this guy is And what he says at the end Roll tape I would like to make one comment I'd like to stand for the pledge of allegiance I'm sorry but that's due to the United States of America and the Supreme Republic for which it stands. One nation under God, indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all. I'd note that that's out of order. We did have a one-strike policy. I'm not going to ask everyone to leave tonight, but if something like that happens again, we will. And tackling and other things like that are also out of order. So please don't ask me to make people leave. All right. All right.

That's what I gave you. Strauss and Reese. Strauss and Reese. Strauss and Reese, Strauss and all sauce. Can you imagine? You try that shit again. Saying the Pledge of Allegiance before a political meeting

at the local, you say it again and you're gone. Hey, eat my ass, spineless. Boy, I told him. Wouldn't the news be so much better? You put on Meet the Press and have like, I don't know, fucking Tom Cotton on with Chuck Todd. And he just asked Tom a real deep question.

He just looks at him and goes, nice haircut, fuckhead. I ought to reach across this table and slap that wig right off your face. Anyways, listen to this. To tell members of the public they are not allowed to say the Pledge of Allegiance during a public comment and threaten to have them remove that it was one strike in your out policy violates every single one of the First Amendment rights. Molly Barela, the trustee who confronted Furman, told KVR, it's always a woman who has to have some balls. Good for you, Molly. Just change your first

name and I'll follow you on Twitter. Nick, that was mean. What's the matter with you? You pompous, duck-up, snob-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, I know. I know. I know. I know. I'm not English. Yes, I am, actually. A man goes to a meeting. He has to say the pledge of allegiance. Can't help it. We went to Dealey Square, me and Tommy. It's terrific.

I wanted to rent the limo. He wouldn't do this. I wanted to rent the limo. We find the girl, me and the girl sitting in the back. Tommy drives it, and we pay somebody to rent the limo. He wouldn't do this. I wanted to rent the limo. We find the girl, me and the girl sitting in the back. Tommy drives it, and we pay somebody to throw rocks at us as we come around the corner.

He wouldn't do it. Anyways. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, it was so great to see so many fans in Dallas last weekend who came out in a Nick DiPaolo show shirt or hat and evening gown. And it was, we did. We saw a lot of hats in the crowd, a lot of t-shirts.

And here's where I get excited. When they introduced me in Dallas, now that's not a market I do a lot. I got like a semi-standing ovation when I was introduced. That only comes from the show. when I was introduced. That only comes from the show, which that means more to me than doing all fucking the Letterman's and Tonight Show shit

and all that other garbage, which was big when I was young. But I'm just saying, it gets me, it makes me that happy. I had at least three people in the last couple months go, and they were both club owners.

One was a manager and go, you seem to be like in a better mood. I'm like, yeah, it took me 34 years to get my crowd to finally come in. You can see why I was a tad cranky when Gabriel Inglesias was filling fucking Yankee Stadium twice on a Friday night. Can you say bitter? Sure. Anyways, they came out with their hats and T-shirts.

And thanks also to those of you who picked a hat up after the show that was actually fun to meet these people to get a nick dipalo show shirt or mug or hat just go to nickdip.com click on a store or if you subscribe at the comicsgym.com at the michael level remember we still have different levels michael uh the Michael level, remember we still have different levels. Michael and the Vito. I don't know. Sonny still in there? If you sign up at the Michael level or higher, you'll get a free mug.

You'll also get the daily encore show and much, much more. A show that nobody else gets. Anyway, show off your support and go to nickdip.com. Click on store to get hats, mugs, shirts and more. And as always, I thank you guys for your support. It really, it excites me at this age. That and, you know, three

Viagra and I'm good to go. I used to wear a Viagra necklace. My wife didn't like it. I'd come to bed. You know, it was on an elastic. Remember they had candy necklaces? I have about 400 blue pills. Every time I was fucking her, she said, it looked like you just had a piece of blueberry pie. Then I'd say, speaking of pie, let me drop those shorts. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Black snatch slapper. Black snatch lapper? Did I write that? I write the pre-headlines. Black snatch lapper, Joy Reid, ducking smart white guy who wants to debate her. He's the most hateful woman on TV and the most racist by a country mile. This person hates white people on a level,

I can't even, I don't know who to compare it to. And they just leave her on MSNBC. Fucking NBC, you're so evil. MSNBC host Joy Reid, there she is, has accused an outspoken... Looks like her head looks like an exploding cigar. Has an accused and outspoken opponent of critical race theory who challenged her to a debate

on her show of making white man demands. Here's the audio of her saying that. What folks says about this family I done. I have told you and told you that you can always tell a lady but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. her saying that. Christopher F. Ruffo, a senior fellow at the conservative think tank where I used to work, the Manhattan Institute, first accused the readout, that's the name of her show, host of Dodging Him as a guest in a tweet last Thursday, along with footage of her discussing him. At Joy Reid has denounced me,

this is his tweet, by name multiple times on her show, but she doesn't have the courage to invite me on as a guest, Rufo tweeted. And I dare you to argue with that. He says, and I quote, she knows that I will crush her critical race theory apologetics any day of the week. Under her Twitter handle, Joy Ann, pro-democracy read, pro-democracy, you sick bastard. The host replied Saturday by complaining that it was, this is Joy talking to him, a weirdly aggressive way to get yourself on TV.

Why not just contact my booking producers like a normal person rather than going with the white man demands option. She can't keep race out of anything. Hey, Joy, I'm better than you in every fucking way, and not because I'm white. I'm just better, so is he, with your stupid carrot top hairdo, you dildo. is he with your stupid carrot top hairdo, you dildo? With your white man demand options? Can you fucking, I don't like her. She's a malignant cunt.

You got that right, Pauly. Know what I'm saying? Nothing out the tea. This fucking bitch is racist. Rufo noted that he wasn't demanding anything. I'm challenging you to a debate about critical race theory. The real question, are you going to accept the challenge or not? He asked the NBC buffoon.

I should say MSNBC host who does not appear to have to respond to it any further. Because she knows. Put her up against Whitey. and she still has a show. Can you fucking MSNBC you as some evil but at least you let us know that you're not even trying to be objective.

Now I'm doing Pee Wee Herman. Were you a fan of the Pee Wee Herman. Were you a fan of the Pee Wee Herman show? I watched it growing up, yeah. What was it? What's the guy just died? Jambi. Jambi died. Yeah.

And you all know Jambi. They have Jambi juice. Look it. Anyways, he accused Reid of hiding behind the protective mantle of racism. No, a bunch of tweets did, I think. By dismissing Ruffo's request as a white man demands. Yeah, people didn't like what she said. These are some tweets that attacked her for being the douche she is. Trash him, then instantly play the race card when he asked to come on and respond.

Fox News contributor Guy Benson wrote. Her response also sparked a flood of followers demanding, her followers, by the way, right, demanding she invite Rufo onto her show soon. Don't be a coward. Have him on or stop throwing out insults. You know you can't hang. That's Billy Gribben, who was a speech... Oh, that's not one of her followers. Speech writer for Donald Trump. Mary McDonnell Lewis, a good friend of mine, met her at One Potato Two in front of the mall.

Mary McDonnell Lewis told her it was disappointing to read a journalist of such clear bias. What a shame to the profession you are. Joy. Now, that was a good one. You're a loser to the profession you are, Joy. That's, now that was a good one. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Joy, and you discussed him on the show.

You should be reaching out to him. A follower named Sarah tweeted her. I believe I agree with you, not him, but it's only fair to invite him, she wrote. Okay, that's how fucking, she wrote. Okay? That's how fucking biased she is. Her followers are going, hey, you're acting like a bitch, bitch. God.

We need something to cleanse our palate after looking at Joy Reid. You know, after castor oil, you take a spoonful of sugar. I used to hear that back in 1920. What can we do to cleanse our palate of that ugly buffoon Joy Reid? I searched and I searched, and I found Elizabeth Hurley, a close friend of mine. I actually slept with her when she was single. I ain't going to say who, but I've been sniffing his fingers ever since. You know, what kind of talk is that? This show has to get out there.

People would love this show today. Elizabeth Hurley enjoys staycation. Staycation. Rehabilitation, Christopher. Elizabeth Hurley enjoys a staycation with topless bikini photo. The actress, let me say that loosely, and model who rang in her 56th birthday earlier this month,

this actually makes me feel good, took to Instagram on Sunday to share a photo from her staycation. In the snapshot, Hurley is seen wearing a striped bikini bottom and a flowing robe with nothing else underneath. Well, why would you put anything else underneath? Having my own staycation in my home, she wrote. Hurley captioned the, you can put that picture up anytime. Hurley captioned the simple snap of herself which showed off her svelte physique. That's putting it, are you, are you kidding me?

Put that back close up so my male friends at home can have time to grab the Vaseline. Let's just sit in silence for a minute. Never mind the Pledge of Allegiance before a meeting. They should just put that up and have people ad lib. God bless America. It says a svelte physique. That's putting it. Svelte.

Tony Randall had a svelte physique. Who needs a view of the ocean, somebody wrote, or any other wonders of this planet when we have this beautiful, ageless creation? One fan commented. Who was that? Oh, Bill Clinton. No. That's said well, though. Commented of the Elizabeth Hurley Beach swimsuit founder. And everybody sitting at home is doing this. It's

male, maybe female. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. not a tavern but a temple. I love you. I love you because you wear a robe open with nothing under it and striped bikini bottoms. I love you because you're gonna mail those to me after you run two miles. What? And we're out. That's a good show, ain't it? That's a good show. I decided, she says, like anybody cares what she says. I love that she puts that photo up, and she really thinks that we care why she did it and what she's up. I decided to venture into beachwear,

not only because I've always been obsessed with vacation clothes and people are at home going, shut up, shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up, shut up. But also because it's an area where women, Because it's an area where women, regardless of shape or size, can either look amazing or really get it wrong. I wanted to develop resort collections. I tried this myself. They didn't go. A lot of banana hammocks with like Mets logos and Bruins and nobody. Which make women feel fabulous at any age, she said on the cut line. Like any age, she said on the, like any age, you know.

She's sort of like acting like all women her age look like a, you're not doing us any favors, by the way, doing that, Elizabeth. Because, you know, then you go on vacation, you're at St. Bart's and you see a lady in her late hundreds wearing your shit. Anyway, she said that on the company site and I know where I'm going for my

wife's birthday. I'm going to get her some nice panties. I didn't know what to get my wife on her anniversary and a friend said to me, why don't you go to Jared's place? So cut to me handing her a one foot tuna sub with pickles. Let's move on. There are white niggers.

I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. In our reverse the race segment tonight, headline, colored folk eat and beat or dine and dash. Police in Gloucester County are looking for a group of people. This is New Jersey, I believe.

They assaulted, listen to this, listen to the ignorance here and picture again if it was white people doing this to a black waitress. A group of people, they say say assaulted and kidnapped a waitress after they left the restaurant without paying.

Surveillance video from police show the terrifying moments following a dine-in dash at the Turnersville Nifty 50s. Boy, do they have a cheesesteak at the, around 11 p.m. on Saturday. First of all, do you call it dining when you go to the nifty 50? I mean, what is the 50 about? You have a 50% chance of throwing up or diarrhea? I don't know. But check this out. They're going to run out on the check and a waitress comes out. They're all black. She's white. Go ahead. Surveillance video from Washington Township Police shows the terrifying moments following a dine and dash at the Turnersville Nifty 50 Saturday night. Police say you can see one of five people who skipped out on the bill walking out to a car with four others inside ready to leave. Their waitress runs after them.

And police say the white Dodge Durango pulled away with her in the back seat the door still open it's definitely a brazen abduction police say it happened just after 11 Saturday night the group attacked the woman drove a few blocks down state highway 42 northbound made a u-turn and the waitress was able to get out see how that is like they almost glossed over the uh they attacked the woman she was assaulted in the car they punched her face in she had to go to the hospital can you imagine if that's a black waitress and it's going to be hard to imagine because most white people pay their checks anyhow not all of them I even tried to do this when I was drunk in a Chinese restaurant. Not on purpose.

My buddy goes, we ate about $70 worth of Chinese food. My buddy Al gets up and he goes, I'm going to use the, I'm going to take a piss. He gets up and he sprints right through the fucking exit. I'm sitting there. Luckily, everybody had their back to me. That's not true. I stayed and paid the fucking. He thought that was so funny

can you friggin imagine though so this is how ignorant they are they went from just running out on a check which I'm pretty sure especially under today's administration Biden you won't even I mean you can burn and loot and get your charges so I'm pretty sure you can run out on a check. You're not going to.

But now they'll be up for kidnapping charges. Okay? Because you want to call it greens for nothing. Or filet mignon. I don't want to. Seriously, now you're going to be up for kidnapping charges. Just think about that for one goddamn second. Is it because we're black?

I don't know. I think it's more behavior than skin color. That's how I judge people. But the left doesn't. It's all about, that's why I'm so brazen on this show, because they're outright calling white people evil devils and shit. It's in school curriculums. Biden wants white people to snitch on each other because white supremac supremacy. So you know what? Be racist right the fuck back. Because we all know that

black and brown people, like Barclay said, black and white people, for the most part, are great people. I thought he said it the best. There's that tiny segment. But see, Biden doesn't talk about that segment. He's blaming you, cracker. Here's a headline for you. You like this one, Matt? Woman named Sithole from shithole. Her last name's Sithole. Can you imagine? It's like a gay guy trying to say shithole. It's a shithole. From a shithole, lied about having 10 babies. The South African woman who claimed she gave birth to 10. I said 10. 10 babies.

That looks like me right before I go to bed, after I ate like 12 Little Debbie's. Two bags of fucking goldfish crackers. Anyways, she said she gave birth to 10 babies at once and has been admitted to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation amid growing speculation over whether she was ever actually pregnant with a decouplets. D-E-C as in decade, as in 10. This really, really, it was really an easy way to find out.

First, you look for the 2,000 babies in the house, or you just touch her stomach. Can you imagine if all those babies were kicking in there? It would be like a judo class i was trying to think of tiger schultz whatever the what is it tiger something can you imagine turns out she just blasted like a fucking three minute fart and the stomach went right down and everybody's embarrassed uh what's her name oh gassim uh embarrassed. What's her name? Oh, Gassim Tamara, a sit-hole, 37, who made headlines for the alleged record-breaking birth, was taken to the psychiatric ward last week at Tembiza Hospital in Johannesburg and examined by a witch doctor who had a bone in his nose and a grass skirt on. Good night, everybody. Look at her. Look at her eyes. You can't tell she's a little loopy.

Watch out because I'm Cocoa Pops! Cocoa Pops! Cocoa Pops! The medical evaluation has shown that there was no pregnancy. You couldn't tell while she was there.

I mean, what did she... It also shows that there are no physical scars to indicate a recent C-section. You would have shit me you would have had to split her from her fucking throat down to her belly button. It's crowded in there. It would have looked like a Chuck E. Cheese at closing time if she had them.

Anyways, yeah, there's no scar there for a C-section. Her attorney, Reflo Mokina, said Sithol claims she is now being held against her will at the hospital. The poor thing is cuckoo. She then instructed me, the lawyer to accompany her, to the Tembisa Hospital. And when we arrived at the hospital, they took her straight toward 14, the psychiatric ward. And she was yelling this the whole time. I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. They told me that now she was in their custody, they would not be allowing the lawyers and the team of psychologists that she had requested to be present, Makita added.

That doesn't seem fair. The hospital visit was the latest turn in this strange saga, which has involved even the reputed baby's father. The father is repudiating this, Taboga Tetsi. God, let's go to a story that took place in this country. Calling the children's existence into question. So even the dad's like, he's go to a story that took place in this country. Calling the children's existence into question. So even the dad's like, she's full of shit. He, Tobago, made several attempts to visit his girlfriend, but she has failed to disclose her whereabouts and the condition of her babies, a statement from his family said.

The family has resolved and concluded that there are no decouplets born between Tobago, Tututsi, and Gozemai Sithol until proven otherwise, and the family wishes to apologize for any inconvenience and embarrassment that she may have caused. Local health officials have also said they have no record of the decouplets being, how did they fool you? How did this even become a story? You know why?

Because it was about a woman doing something amazing. Don't check the facts. Get it out there. And by the time we tell you the truth, it'll be gone. That's how the media were. They say they have no record of decouplets being born at any of the region's private and public facilities, although there were 14 born at a bus stop in Tingpao. Anyways, but several of Sid Hall's relatives have maintained that Sid Hall did indeed recently give birth to the brood, overtaking former world record holder Octomom.

Remember her? Nadia Suleiman? Yay, yay, yay. Who had eight children in 2009. And then you got Halma Asis, a Malian woman who delivered nine children at a Moroccan hospital back in May. Oh, my God. We asked the vagina how they felt. My vagina's angry. It is.

It's pissed off. It's very tired. Black people, they still too much. Finally tonight on Meet the Press, I wrote the sub-headline, time for the NCAA to cut the bullshit and dig into those deep pockets and compensate these kids who are responsible

for so much that makes up a college campus like buildings and computers and everything else. If you go to Boston College, Doug Flutie's got his name on about eight buildings. See, I know you hate jocks and shit, but you nerds, those computers you're sitting at, and fucking you scientists, all the lab equipment, they're bought by your football and basketball team. Anyways, here's the story. The Supreme Court ruled against the NCAA, and for the students on this one.

Here is a clip of the news. Breaking news from the U.S. Supreme Court. It's unanimously sided with a group of former college athletes in a dispute with the NCAA. It's over rules limiting certain compensation. The high court ruled today that NCAA limits on the education related benefits that colleges can offer athletes who play division one basketball and football can't be enforced.

Under current rules, students cannot be paid and the scholarship money colleges can offer is capped at the cost of attending the school. The decision could open the door to significant increases in payment for college sports. The case, however, doesn't decide whether students can be paid salaries. Of course it doesn't. Give me the money, you understand me? Give me the fucking money, you hear me?

You hear me? I said come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Hear ye, hear ye. The me the fucking money. Hear ye. Hear ye. The court's in session. The court's in session now. Here come the judge.

Here come the judge. Kavanaugh. Our boy Kavanaugh. Remember, he's supposed to be a serial rapist. How'd that work, Dems? He wrote the opinion. I think we have it here. Kavanaugh the opinion. I think we have it here. Kavanaugh's opinion.

To be sure, the NCAA and its member colleges maintain important traditions that have become part of the fabric of America. Game days in Tuscaloosa and South Bend. The packed gyms and stores in Durham. The women's and men's lacrosse championships on Memorial Day weekend. Track and field meets in Eugene. The spring softball and baseball World Series in Oklahoma City and Omaha. The list goes on and on. But those traditions alone cannot justify the NCAA's decision

to build a massive money-raising enterprise on the backs of student-athletes who are not fairly compensated. Nowhere else in America can businesses get away with agreeing not to pay their workers a fair market rate on the theory that their product is defined by not paying their workers a fair market rate, which is exactly what they're doing. And under ordinary principles of antitrust law, it is not evident why college sports should be any different. The NCAA is not above the law, which I, you know, I was, when this first argument

first broke out, I was kind of, I don't know, I don't know, you know, because when you give young kids money and shit, you've seen it. I mean, they go to the NFL, they get a big, you know what I mean? You know, it can get hairy. But here's another argument against what Kavanaugh said. A lot of these, I'm for it, by the way, in the long run. I side with him because, like I said, you look at these spectacular campuses. What do you think they're getting that money? Girls volleyball, wrestling team? Anyways, you'd have to give them full boats too, by the way, and more compensate them, I'm sure, under Title IX.

But how about, if I was going to argue a little bit against it, how about the athletes who literally, you know, literally solid D students in high school, and some of them didn't even attend classes. You know what I mean? There's a lot of those. You don't even belong on a college campus. Because let's remember, college is supposed to be about education.

I know I sound old there, and nobody likes college football more than I do. But you know what I mean? So there's a little push and shove. But in the end, when they're making zillions of dollars, Notre Dame has a contract with NBC. I mean, they're the only college that has a contract with a major network. But the money they pull in. But like I said, there's a lot of kids who,

if it was based on reading and writing and how you used to get into college, you'd be fucking pushing a broom. But in the end, I agree with Kavanaugh on this one. Anyways, didn't they ask Sotomayor how she felt? She was a linebacker. That is it for today, boys and girls, and everything in between. Want to be inclusive?

Thank you much for tuning in. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. And don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your relatives, go to cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person. I'll make a little video, a minute, minute and a half long for a small fee, and, you know, trashing them, making the kid cry. No, it's actually fun, and the people

who are the victims of it love it, because they're fans of mine. That's why the person is buying it. Anyways, you guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.