The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dirty Donny: “Go Ahead, Make My Day” | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1755

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about the Not So Cease Fire, Trump Unloading on Media, Mossad Tactics, More Illegal Violence, Joe Burrow’s Life and a Psychopath! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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with iGaming Ontario. I'm gonna be a good boy. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. Ow! Ow! First aid kit! That audio just heard, that was Trump. Yelling at the press. That's exactly what he should say.

He'd fucking make me ride you. Get the fuck out of here. Ha ha ha. Dana Bash, ah. He's mean. Folks, how are you? Great to be with you. Six o'clock Eastern time. Buh buh buh buh. I can't keep up. How are you? Great to be with you. Six o'clock Eastern time.

I can't keep up. Trump is a whirlwind. I can't keep up on the headlines. I prepared this shit last night and it's all about ceasefire. I wake up this morning and he's fuming that that didn't work out the way he wanted to and I can't keep up. I cannot keep up. Welcome to the live lineup, by the way way where you get Steven Crowder, Tim Poole, Andrew Wilson, who just sent some of you guys over here. Thank you, Andrew. Do I have to say that every time? Cut the crap. And all the other shows you just saw scroll by from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern Time right here on Rumble. guess what, it's free. And today I'll be talking about the ceasefire that wasn't, that now is, and oh, the Mossad.

That's the sort of the Jewish CIA. Makes us look like Eagle Scouts. They are so good. I'm telling you, watch that show, Fowdak. Okay, it was on a few years ago based on a guy who worked for the Mossad. Please watch it, one of my favorite shows ever. More illegals committing crimes in this country thanks to jerk off Joe Biden and we'll live

vicariously through Joe Burrow who just happened to be born looking like a male model and to be able to throw a football like a rocket. You know what that equals? A lot of snatcher raining. Is that a friend of your people? Grow up. Anyhow, real quick, already a story came up. Trump, I was going to start off with, what I'm going to do

is I'm going to put the ceasefire, the stuff that happened in perspective yesterday, and then we'll jump in today when I woke up and Trump was lighting the world on fire. Boy, did he wake up on the wrong side of the gold toilet. As you might. But here he is this morning. I can't keep up. The headline Trump. Yeah, fuck. Hold on. Jesus Christ. Welcome to the Michael J. Fox show. That's funny, mark it.

I can't see you making the most, I don't know what you do. I have to go, mark it. It's the headline. Trump channels Dirty Harry in blistering truth social post, daring Democrats to impeach him. Go ahead, make my day. We don't deserve this guy. That's how good a president he is. He says, real quick, I'll read the, President Trump unloaded on his congressional rivals in a scathing social media post daring them to initiate Impeachments proceedings against him for a third time. So go ahead and try impeaching me again He says make my day Trump see then the tree so

Who writes this shit? It's in the headline. It's in the first paragraph the fuck move on Forward the story advance it Sorry Anyways, he's saying that to you douchebags, the squad, AOC, who called for the president to be impeached over US airstrikes in Iran. So she's pulling for Iran. It's that simple. And so are all her douchebag squad members who should be over there going back to their home country and being blown to smithereens. They stay here. You know why? Because they have to get bikini waxes every three minutes and they don't have that shit over there fucking hairy pigs

Calling the Queen's rep one of the dumbest talking about AOC Trump says one of the dumbest people in Congress She says the Dems honest he says the Dems aren't accustomed to winning and Claimed the congresswoman can't stand stand the concept of the country being successful again. Which is all true. For good measure he took pointed swipes at other Lefty Dems, including Jasmine Crockett, you know her, street hoe pretending to be a politician. seriously a low IQ individual that's why that's another way said dumb fuck and rep ill on all mar who does nothing but complain at the message he's so right on about our country yet the failed country she comes from doesn't have a government is drenched in crime in poverty and is rated one of the worst in the world

if it's even rated at all he says he took particular issue with a AOC whom he dubbed the mouse for her critique of the president's bombing campaign against Iranian nuclear sites which she called a grave violation of the Constitution and Congressional war powers in her call for impeachment. What a stupid ho. He has every right to do it. I've heard it nine times from lawyers on both sides. If we're in imminent danger, which we are, again, thanks to shit head Biden, all Trump is doing is cleaning up the mess, AOC, that you and your fuck heads, again,

sorry about that, I'm not going to apologize for life. You don't like the show, put on fucking, everybody loves fuck face on A&E. I'm just furious. You know what I'm saying. Everybody loves fuckface on A&E. I'm just furious. You know what I'm saying. Iran has done nothing but kill people in that region for years. Blown up innocent women and children.

That's why when people go, you're siding with Israel and I know what you're going to say. Whoa, what they were doing, that relentless bombing, that's killing women and children. That's why when people go, you're siding with Israel and I know you're going to say, whoa, what they were doing, that relentless bombing, that's killing women and children. First of all, they don't aim for the women and children. It's usually collateral damage. Secondly, it's always them responding to something like October 7th, which nobody's bringing up. Don't forget how all this started. Okay? And I believe, and I'll say it again, Bibi said, you know you know what that's it That's it. I guarantee he said at the Trump October. I'm not stop until they're all gone That's that's the message that I'm getting All of it deserved and we and Trump has to worry about these shitheads in

Congress these lefties and the Adam Kinzinger's of the world in Congress, these lefties and the Adam Kinzinger's of the world crying on TV and clutching their pearls. What a sad, and now he says fuck and people are upset. We'll get to that in a second, which is hilarious to me. Anyways, before, real quick, we've got to, I've got to show you this because it involves the military. I have a fan in the military, Adam Helton, okay? He's a Delta, what is he? Former Delta operator. Former Delta operator, which is the queen of the crop, right? Anyway, so he wrote me saying, couldn't be happier to hear back from you, Nick. George W. knew me by name when I was an operator, but I have never gushed in my life until this

reply from you. I fucking, he looks like every kid I played football with at Maine. Big scary fuck. Keep up everything you are about, brother. He says, you would have been one of us for sure. He has no idea what a pussy I can be I'd go Oh, was that a firecracker? All the best he says Adam L. Hilton first special forces operational detachment Delta Charlie squad

Not Delta AOC squad Delta Charlie squad anyways, why am I bringing him up? And there he is. God bless these people. I went over there, I told you, I did, you know what, a USO show in Afghanistan. And boy, it was a one, just a humbling trip to see. And Dallas knows how the military, how they live and to put their neck on the line. They don't get spoiled over there. They live in wooden barracks. They show up in about eight minutes.

It's 111 in the bathroom. I was complaining. I go, there's no mint under my pillow. They're like, shut up. Anyways, so anyways, Adam, excuse me, got married recently and his wife Wore you can't see it because it's kind of washed out in the picture Nica a naked t-shirt, you know, like what's up? Nica and they're still flying off the shelves I don't it's incredible, but she wore this when they got married

Excuse me. I can't tell you how much that means to me. We have actually video of them, just a quick snippet of them getting married. That is not the MGM Grand where they had their, this is what I'm talking about. How can you love these people? Go ahead. Look at that, even kisses like a Delta Squad Charlie.

He's choking her right there. Hey Adam and your great wife, I can't thank you enough for being fans of the show. And I don't know where you live because you didn't mention it, but it would be my pleasure obviously to get you tickets to one of my live shows and buy you drinks after and stuff. So I don't know how you let us know that. Again, you could be undercover. I don't know.

Show up at my show with the gun and the whole gear and shit, the beret and all that shit. Then I'll know who you are. I don't know how that'll fly with a funny bone in Cincinnati, but it'll be some great stuff, great stuff. Okay, let me put into perspective, this started yesterday, folks, the ceasefire, right? The headline was Ceasefire, maybe. President Trump, I'm going to show you the article that I drew from and we'll go into where it is now.

Trump announced yesterday in an evening post on True Social that Israel and Iran had agreed in principle to a ceasefire that would halt what he branded the 12 day war, right? Even I said, he says, congratulations to everyone. It's been fully agreed by in between Israel and Iran that there will be a complete and total ceasefire in approximately, I said right then, remember yesterday, I go, I said, I go, we're talking about the ceasefire and I said, wait a minute, I said it's only been three minutes, let's

see what kind of damage and stuff. Complete and total ceasefire in approximately six hours from now when Israel and Iran have wound down and completed their in-progress final mission. So we're yelling cease fire, but they still have some, it's like the end of a hockey game. One team's up six to one. There's only a minute left. You know there's going to be a bloodbath because the other team has to send a message.

Only Israel said, you know, well, let's get a few more good shots in. And Iran, you know, Iran's down to, like I said, a pack of M-80s, wound down and completed their in-progress final missions for 12 hours, at which point the war will be considered ended, Trump said. Officially, he said, Iran will start the ceasefire and upon the 12th hour I couldn't even follow this I'm sorry that Israel will start the ceasefire and upon the 24th hour I see an official end to the 12 day war which they sort of grabbed the title like the sixth day war in 1967 I know a lot about this stuff because Manny Dorman very late great Manny Dorman who owned the comedy salve he's to discuss

this shit and he taught this stuff, will be saluted by the world during each ceasefire the other side will remain peaceful and respectful, to which I added, you want a bet? Trump added on the assumption that everything works as it should, so even he put a little caveat in that, which it will, I would like to congratulate both countries, Israel and Iran, on having the stamina, courage, and intelligence to end what should be called

the 12-day war. This is a war that could have gone on for years and destroyed the entire Middle East, but it didn't and never will. There was no immediate confirmation from Israel or Iran, there's a little hint that a halt to the fighting was in prospect. What the fuck that even means. What we've got here is failure to communicate. The name 12 Day War would reflect the military triumph from Israel. Yeah, we know that. I know it from many, in which the Jewish state swiftly defeated a

coalition of Arab states led by Egypt, Jordan, and New Jersey. A lot of Arabs in New Jersey. Jersey City, have you ever been there? Anyway, JD Vance, and here's why I love JD Vance, because he's so intelligent and not retarded like other, you know, Kamala Harris, Vice President. But Trump will do stuff and then JD's job is to go out and to explain it in depth and not just to soundbite. Here he is explaining what all this means with I think Brett Baer, who to me looks like, again, a high school wrestler.

That's a compliment, by the way, Brett. His JD. It has been fully agreed by and between Israel and Iran that there will be a complete and total ceasefire. Complete and total ceasefire is what he typed. What does that mean? How did it come about? What's the development?

He goes, none of your business. Well, we were actually working on that just as I left the White House to come over here, so that's good news that the president was able to get that across the finish line. I think what it means, Brett, is quite simple. First of all, the president, without knock on wood, having a single American casualty, obliterated the Iranian nuclear program. We are now in a place where we weren't a week ago. A week ago, Iran was very close to having a nuclear weapon.

Now, Iran is incapable of building a nuclear weapon with the equipment they have because we destroyed it. So that's a very, very big thing. Now, what that means, I think, is we have to talk to Iran and, of course, to Israel about what the future holds, because while we have obliterated the Iranian nuclear program, our hope and our expectation is that they're not going to try to rebuild that program.

And I think that's what the president is really trying to figure out here, is to build a long-term settlement here to where we can have peace in the region, where our regional allies and of course the American people most importantly can be secured, but where we can ensure that the destruction of the Iranian nuclear program that has already happened is not something they try to rebuild. Good luck trying to rebuild it, number one. First of all, everybody that worked on that project, every nuclear scientist, they're buried under the rubble. You're gonna recruit a couple of guys

from the fucking Republican Guard. They're gone too. Yeah. They're like the Corleones, you're being chased out of New York by the other families. Yeah, I told them I don't have that kind of muscle anymore, Mike. If you guys don't know what I'm talking about, you big girls, it's a great movie. The next clip, is that Vance too? Yeah.

They're all Vance. Huh? They're all Vance. Okay, here's clip number two of them, Vance. Look, this is a great thing. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans.

They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans.

They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. They're all fans. I think this is a new opportunity to actually pursue the path of peace. As I said yesterday, what the Iranians have showed through their support of terror networks,

through their now failed effort to build a nuclear weapon, is that they're just not very good at war. And I think the president really hit the reset button. Let's actually produce long-term peace for the region. That's always been his goal. I actually think when we look back, we will say the 12-day war was an important reset moment for the entire region Well, we shall see folks hate runs deep I Mean they teach they teach their kids not the Israelis and those madrasas over there

The Muslims teach their kid literally their first I think most of the Arab babies their first word is fuck Jewish two words But they do they literally teach in textbooks what that Jews are animals and pigs and all that shit So it's gonna run deep its generations and generations, but I still say Trump could build a nice food court there With the you know Panda Express and all kinds of diversity as far as the food goes fuck the Hamas I mean the hummus Hamas oh that could be a dish actually the Hamas hummus is delicious anyways then JD went on and asked about the Iranian he's asked about the uranium that's still my this is what pissed Trump off this morning I mean he goes through all that and the first thing the press is doing they might as well be from Al Jazeera, these fucking idiots from cable news.

Yeah, but they said they might have moved the uranium first, and there could be some more, and JD will explain his theory on that. Go ahead, Mr. Vice President. You've said totally obliterated. The president has said totally obliterated the Iran nuclear program. Do you know for sure where all the highly enriched uranium is? Well, I think that's actually not the question before us. The question before us is, can Iran enrich the uranium to a weapons-grade level, and

can they convert that fuel to a nuclear weapon? And we know, based on the success of our mission of course the leadership of the president But the incredible skill of our military that the two mission objectives are Completely successful. We know that they cannot build a nuclear weapon now you asked about the highly enriched uranium Like 900 pounds but what we know is that in Brett says that like he's hanging out with the ayatollah on the weekend You know the nice got like nine on, oh, what are you talking about? I was at his house, at his teepee, at his lane two, whatever the fuck he lives in, maggot. Go ahead. Uranium is something that exists in very large supply.

Our goal was to bury the uranium, and I do think the uranium is buried, but our goal was to eliminate the enrichment and eliminate their ability to convert that enriched fuel into a nuclear weapon. I actually just, I think that's an important point, Brett, because so many of the folks who have focused on the highly enriched uranium, the main focus, Brett, has been to destroy their enrichment capacity because we don't want that 60% uranium to become 90% uranium. That's the real concern and that's what was so successful about our mission. What he says, you can't enrich, uranium's everywhere, but you can't enrich it. We just blew up what they used to enrich it to 90%, which makes it lethal.

President Trump, let's fast forward to this morning. Trump unloads on the media, President Trump announced early Tuesday that the, and he was furious about this, that the ceasefire between Iran and Israel was back on because it was off. When they woke up this morning I thought they were still bombing going on when both sides are supposed to stop. So he's saying it's back on just moments after he launched into a blistering attack on Iran and Israel because he's trying to be fair here. You know, I don't remember any other presidents before him.

You know what I mean, trying to work like this. I could be wrong, but here he is saying right after. He was furious when he woke up. Apparently Israel unloaded a whole shitload you know you know what in the preview article Trump was saying it's winding down I think I ran through three rocks one of them landed like 11 feet from an Arab woman hit a goat in the ass and then Israel unloaded like a fireworks display and his

trumpet pissed him off but here he is explaining what's going on now this morning. That have been fighting so long and so hard that they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Do you understand that? Can I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't?

Oh my god. Okay. And I go, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Can I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't? Oh my god. Okay. I want and I go, I go, is this AI? Because there's so much of this AI shit where they have like Conor, Conor McDavid hockey player. I thought this was real for a second after they lost to Florida in the Stanley Cup final. They have Conor McGregor. Somebody put it up that obviously is pissed at the Edmonton final. They have Conor McGregor, somebody put it up, that obviously is pissed at the Edmonton Oilers.

And it's McGregor, he's in the locker room, it looks so real, he's like, I suck, I'm fucking getting out of here, I'm done with this sport, I can't score when I have, I'm watching it going, what the? So I saw this today and go, wait a minute, it's gotta be AI, and then when I saw it on all the, all the broadcasts, now all the chili, oh, we don't deserve them.

We don't deserve them. You hear what he just said? They've been fighting so long, so hard, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Understand that? Oh, man. He had a nice blonde hair across his ass this morning. Anyways, Israel is not going to attack Iran.

All planes will turn around, he said this this morning, and head home while doing a friendly plane wave to Iran, he wrote on True Social just before early this morning. Nobody will be hurt. The ceasefire is in effect. Here's what you've got to hand credit. He is always optimistic. there's never an ounce and And you know people go that's bravado and bullshit

That's how you have to think if you're gonna pull off shit this big I was literally voted class pessimist in high school And I know you guys even my friends are laughing gun really what a shock they had to invent Hold on a second. Oh. Friggin' family's on vacation. Enough already. Good luck.

You realize you're at World War III. Good luck getting home from a... God bless my sister. Anyways. Nobody will be hurt. The ceasefire is in effect, he said, with his now trademark sign off. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

It's like a memo at Trump Plaza to his staff going, the men's room is being fixed right now. Thank you for attention to this matter. God, is he fucking funny. I don't even know what he's trying to be. His truth post came just moments after the president raged at both nations as he left Joint Base Andrews for a NATO summit. And I hope my brother made a good point on a text this morning.

They can't be putting him on Air Force One today. Right Dallas? Even there, where's he going? Is he going to that helicopter? Air Force Two. Yeah, well that's crazy. even there where's he going is he going to that helicopter? Air Force 2. Yeah well that's crazy. I mean this guy's got a bullseye on his ass. I think AOC bought a fucking shoulder rocket launcher last night at Target. He says I think they both violated Trump's set of Israel's promise to resume attacks after accusing Iran of a

blatant violation by firing more missiles. Israel, as soon as we made the deal, they came out and dropped a boatload of bombs, this is Trump talking, the likes of which I've never seen before. He said the biggest load since I was with Stormy Daniels at the Motel 6 in Nashville. Nikki, the biggest load that we've seen. I'm not happy with Israel, Trump said, you know. What's the matter with you? Sorry. The fuck is the matter with you?

Okay, when I say now you have 12 hours, you don't go out, he says, in the first hour and just drop everything you have on them. I guess you don't know Israel. They're a little pissed. And I got to tell you, first of all, those mics, those are every boom mic that I've seen in every snuff film I've seen. Probably jizz all over those. So I'm not happy with them, he said. I'm not happy with Iran either, the president added.

He also lashed out his, my favorite part, and this is why he'll go down in history for me. I was waiting for this. I started hating CNN when I was around 21, I think. That's 43 years ago. Go ahead, do the math and laugh your balls off. He also lashed out at CNN and MSNBC for hurting the pilots of the B-2 bombers that attacked Iran's nuclear sites over the weekend.

And he's right, because they forget, you know, it's sort of dangerous flying through the night 30 something hours, you know what I'm saying? And anyways, this is him giving him a tongue lashing because he didn't, the media didn't give them any credit. Those pilots, those B-2 pilots did an unbelievable job. And you know, the fake news like CNN in particular, they're trying to, you know, they're trying to say, well, I agree that it was destroyed, but maybe not that destroyed.

You know what they're doing? They're really hurting great pilots that put their lives in the line. CNN is scum, and so is MSDNC. They're all — and frankly, their networks aren't much better. It's all fake news, but they should not have done that. Those pilots hit their targets. Those targets were obliterated, and the pilot should be given credit

They're not after the pilots are after me Bingo zing bang so different from think about Obama even George W and his wishy-washy shit Mission accomplished. Remember he jumped again. I wishy washy shit. Mission accomplished. Remember he jumped the gun. I think CNN ought to apologize to the pilots of the B-2s. I think MSNBC ought to apologize. Cable networks are real losers, he would want to say, and you're gutless losers. That's the worst kind of loser. He added before boarding Air Force One and the media called up Trump and said, I apologize. What's the matter with you? I'm sorry. The fuck is the matter with you? He's yelling at Wolf Blitzer.

Little Christmas music in there. The president's IRK, his former UN nuclear weapons inspector said he believes Iran's nuclear centrifuge program used to enrich uranium close to weapon-grade levels was obliterated. And that's a former UN guy that inspects these sites, okay? That's not coming from Fox News or whatever the... It's amazing how much damage has been done to that program, the guy said. I think that part of the mission has been accomplished.

David Albright, now president of the Institute for Science and International Security, where I played a couple years there. I returned punts. Boy, were we good. We beat the shit out of MIT in a scrimmage. I had 300 yards rushing. So there, we got up to speed on all that shit. I can't go to bed with Trump.

He's up while I'm sleeping, doing all kinds of, you know, making all kinds of moves and fighting the media and whoever the hell else. Hey boys and girls, my, we have to, we'll get it to you, we have to make an image. This is my, we named the tour yesterday and me and Dallas took some photos because you know when you put it up on all the internet and you market shit, you gotta have... but it's my... it's called the Nick DePaulo Charming Bastard Tour. July 12th, Hyene is in Dallas, Texas. The next night, the 13th, the secret group in Houston, Texas... I... it might be the Massad, I don't know.

August 8th and 9th, SideSplit is in Tampa, Florida. Write these down, folks, I wanna see you there. September 19th and 20th wise guys Salt Lake City, Utah Also, October 3rd Arlington. Did I agree to work this hard? That's right in the middle of the world series for Christ's sake October 3rd Arlington Draft House Arlington, Virginia And then I'll be at Jasmine Crockett's house slapping her silly with a big rubber dildo join us won't you she can get that dildo at? nickdip.com Go to nickdip.com. We have merchandise again dildos uds mugs

urinals everything says Nick to follow on them tuna subs They're delicious yes, we dry freeze them don't worry about the Anyways nickdip.com. Buy something. That's how you support this show here. We appreciate it very much. Buy some of the best hats in the world. I haven't seen Jimmy hats like this.

Let's move on, shall we? Shall we move on? Socks lost to the Angels last night. They score three at the top of the first. It looks like they're going to blow them out. And then Walker Buehler, good name Walker for a pitcher, comes up and gives up five or whatever the fuck. Hey, hold on. The wife's texting me. What did I say wrong? Honey, I have to take a nap for about an hour. If anyone needs me, they have to wait. What am I going to tell your boyfriend, Terrell Suggs? My favorite.

I hope you people out there follow Terrell Suggs. Anyways, the Israelis. This next story shows you how clever. And I'll say it again. There's two shows, and these were on a few years ago on Netflix called Fowder, this series that lasts a couple, three, four seasons. Fowder and then Tehran followed that up like a spin-off, sort of like the Frasier of the Middle East spin-off. You gotta watch those, because you get an inside look. Like I said, the guy that stars in it, he wrote the episodes and shit.

Anyways, this is, the headline is The Call is Coming from Inside Your Science Lab. Israeli intelligence operatives reportedly placed dozens, this is crack yankers in the Middle East, placed dozens of ominous phone calls to top Iranian generals earlier this month, wanting them in quote unquote escape, to escape with their families or face certain death. They're very polite in their killing, Israel.

I can advise you now, this is what the message said, you have 12 hours to escape with your wife and child they give it that personal touch like the mafia used to go you your son goes to st. John's doesn't he otherwise you're on our list right now this is what the they said in an Israeli intelligence agent can be heard telling a senior Iranian general in an audio recording obtained by the Washington Post on Monday, excuse me, we will hit you, your family, your children, everyone with the dirt. Okay. What the fuck, we having a mud fight now?

The agent continued reiterating that he's willing to, I guess, you know, when you hit somebody with the dirt, I pictured they buried you, right? You throw dirt on the casket. Again I have to tell my joke, I've told that on a show before, but one of my best lines, that's what comedians live for, a funeral or a... Remember I did my father's eulogy and they said I can't do eulogies anymore at that church? That's it. I put that ahead of Letterman. If you guys are new to me, anything I've done in my show business, I was banned from the dead circuit. But then I guess they cleared it with my mom that that's off now. Can you imagine? I did a tight five minutes. My father, I could hear

him giggling in the cast. Anyways, reiterating that he's willing to offer the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, IRGC, a general 12-hour reprieve. That's what they said on the message. That's fucking beautiful. Psychologically torturing these guys. Israeli intelligence agents likely working for Mossad, the Jewish state's top spy agency, phoned the high ranking Iranian officials as part of a covert effort to destabilize and divide the regime through intimidation

and cranky anchor type. Hello? The call is coming from inside the bunker. The threats were conveyed to the Iranian officials in Persian, the official language of the Middle Eastern state and of the NFL. Like I said, 12 hours from this very minute, listen to this, this is the Mossad talking to, on a live line talking to an Iranian higher up. Like I said, 12 hours from this very minute that I spoke to you, you have time to escape.

The Mossad agent warns the befuddled IRGC official. If not, you have no one to blame but yourself. Now this is a line that sent a chill up my ass. We're closer to you than your own neck vein. My wife used that on me one time. I unloaded the dishwasher wrong. One by one, to hell, he says. The operative set of the fate of the three men,

though Iranian media claims, Shamkhani survived the assassination attempt. And then the Mossad goes on to say, do you want to be one of them? Do you want to be the next one on the list? Do you also want to destroy your wife and children? No, right? The agent asks the general.

Now here's the cool part. To which the regime official responds, this is the Iranian guy, so what should I do? To which the Mossad obviously respond, It's a sick question, you're a sick fucker. I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. Sounds a lot like Pesce, I don't know how, that's Persian. The operative then instructs the general

to make a video denouncing the Iranian regime. That's what they do, and they take hostages, and they put a gun to an American's head and say, tell them that, you know, that we're right and you're wrong. The Iranian regime, and send it via telegram, and encrypted messaging, and social media app with 12 hours, to which the Iranian responded. I'm not good with technology, I'm a Luddite.

Sounds like a word they'd use in the Middle East. It's unclear if the general made the video. You're going on a limb. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to go on a limb and say yeah. Oh my God. They verbally fucking put the fear of death in you before they whack you nice.

The mafia was a little better about that. The mafia would always, you never know. They'd invite you, oh, hey, we're playing cards tonight. And then they'd go, Tony, get up. There's some Zambuca on that shelf. You go up to get it, and somebody pops you in the back of the head. And then they drag you in the living room,

go back to playing cards. It's the best, it's the closest to dying in your sleep. You never know what happened. You're having a great time, you're gone. Who's with me, anybody? Now let's move into some domestic news here. The headline, Thanks for Nothing Joe. A suspected member of the violent Venezuelan street gang,

Tren de Agra, TDA, is in federal custody after allegedly attempting to kill one law enforcement officer and injuring another during a traffic stop. So you people on the left, don't get too overwhelmed and don't forget this stuff's going on. Trump talk about multitasking. Can you imagine at one point you guys were trying to, I'm not saying you guys, you guys vote like me, but they were trying to argue that Biden was more competent and Trump enough.

Have you ever, Trump's multitasking. He's trying to solve the Middle East, whacking illegals, felons by the way, rapists, murderers. So don't forget that part of it. Gabriel Cortado Caracho, who cares, fucking Jose Perez. Let's round it off. Round it off. Let's round it off to a Colombian. Thirty is charged with one count of attempted murder of a federal officer

and one count of assault of a federal officer with infliction of bodily injury according to the Department of Justice. There's still a lot of bad guys running around. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Okay, that's Mexican, that is. Not in the Dordes. We like the Mexicans that are here legally. They're good people. A federal prosecutor's alleged Hurtado Caracho, a Venezuelan national residing in the country illegally, and a suspected member of notorious TDA attack, oh, on June 18th. Who, these are AI articles. They have to be.

They repeat themselves. They, oh, mother of... Attack two law enforcement officers during a June 18th traffic stop in Bellevue. That's what bums me out in the heartland. And I know why they're there because that's where the meat processing plants are. And they're the ones who hire. And right now, I'm going to say that's where both sides You know a lot of people go both sides are doing that was true when it came to illegal immigration Because everybody likes to make money so they're cheap labor and they work in meat processing plants And on they move their family then they grow and you know

Deadly violence against law enforcement officers will not be tolerated by this department You know who said that? My ex-girlfriend, Attorney General Pam Bondi. That's right. Special agents with homeland security investigations and the FBI encountered Hurtado near his Sarpy County home when they attempted to carry out an active immigration-related warrant for his arrest. There is the guy. The agent subsequently initiated a traffic stop directing Hurtado Carracho to pull his vehicle over and exit with his arms raised, right?

Don't you move you motherfucker, blow your brains out! As the agents attempted to place Hurtado in handcuffs, he allegedly attacked one agent and proceeded to drag them to the ground. Them, plural. That's when my light went off and went, oh, let me see. Hurtado managed to throw the agent off him, resulting in one agent striking her head. Her head. Let me pronounce, I know pronouns are a big thing.

Her head. What, Nick? Her head. An elbow on the pavement prosecuted a ledge. Apparently it stung. And yes, am I going to go into a screed about female off? Yes, I am. No place for them. Sorry. I don't mind military because they can, you know, parallel park a tank. I was, I don't know. They can shoot a gun.

I'm just saying any male cop will tell you they don't want a female partner. There's been enough clips on the internet forever. I don't give a fuck if you think it's misogynist and shit. It isn't. It puts the male in danger. The agent injured her head and elbow so she won't be pitching for the Mets this week. She rose up off the ground and began to try again. You notice how they had to put that in?

If that was a male officer who got thrown, banged his head, they wouldn't say he got up again. It never goes away. The feminist thing, it runs through every commercial article. This, and I looked up and a woman wrote this article. But she got up again. She shook him off only to get knocked on her ass again. No. The criminal complaint reveals. Thanks for throwing that in there. I thought she quit. A second agent continued attempt

to detain Hurtado with both agents working to place handcuffs on him, excuse me, resulting in a more violent reaction as the three individuals fell to the ground in a scuffle. While on the ground, Hurtado crawled behind the injured agent, proceeded to place her in a choke hold. The UFC is making everybody very dangerous. While ignoring commands from the second agent. Now listen to this. In an attempt to stop the attack,

the second agent also placed Hurtado in a chokehold. They're making a human chain, forcing him to release the injured agent. Hurtado Carracho allegedly broke free from the chokehold and ran away on foot, and the authorities located him at his hot dog cart. No, at his nearby apartment. Yeah, nobody would think to look there. Fucking Hut made a mud. And look, I appreciate that woman being out there. Is that, that must be her. That's a real picture's all right. Oh, those are the FED's after, yes, you're right. But I'm just saying, and it's not a, I appreciate your courage and all this shit, but that's why IED lowered the standards and everything.

Oh, Nick, you're horrible. Shut it. Shut it and fold it. Let's move on to, let's lighten it up. Can we go to sports? Let's live vicariously through what, like I say, arguably the best quarterback. He, last year he could have been the MVP if he wasn't with a shit team. No regular Joe is the headline. Bangles quarterback Joe Burrow and model Olivia Ponton, Ponton, I don't know,

pontoon? I don't know. Continue to stir rumors. What do you mean? Roamers? They've been together for... What are you kidding me? Continue to stir rumors that they're dating after being spotted together in New York this weekend. Oh my god. I'm just doing this because picture him. He's still in his 20s, right? Guy looks like a male friggin model, right? And arguably one of the best quarterbacks in NFL. No doubt about it. I just have to, you know, it's just amazing how some people strike the lottery. I remember him in LSU going, this guy's killer, but I don't know he'll do that good in the NFL. Boy, the fuck was I wrong? And he's only getting better and better and he's landing snatch like this very unfair

borrow and ponton Let's call a wonton soup Who have been the subject of romance buzz since last December we covered this story Remember had a late night on Friday as they were seen entering an apartment building around 3 a.m And they said they were just going in there to get umbrellas. I Don't believe that for a second to you but look at this guy where you going with that booty in your hand hey Joe let me sniff your fingers on your left hand

that's the lady heard next door and then they asked and the woman said, he was just spanking me. The pair hit up several different hot spots and were attached at the hip like a couple of Chinese kids. Chinese. Chinese. How about Siamese twins asshole? Barrow was in town for Fanatics Fest. I was there.

They asked me to leave. And then they beat me pretty severely. Where the 28-year-old appeared on a panel and competed in the Fanatics Games and went viral for his off-target MLB pitching attempts. I didn't even put that in there because I'm not going to poo-poo a guy who's running around town with this thing. You know what I'm saying? they showed him throwing a baseball it You know it looked like 60 feet away

And he kept pulling it to the left and missing the target which you do because I remember in high school when I played football After the season was over you go to throw a baseball with your friends, and I would I would Throw it like a football. I had my show and I'd But he was throwing, you could tell he could have probably pitched to the pros. Yeah, you also, you pull it because you pull it differently for the football and the baseball. That's what I meant, Dallas, yes.

Because your release is completely different. Exactly, and I was going like this. Ponton23, who lives in New York, was also with another skank, really ugly girl, former LSU gymnast Olivia Dunn, who literally has 87 trillion followers because of her nectarine ass. And her sister, Jules Dunn, another one. This guy, talk about a snatch magnet.

He's like the Pied Piper of pussy. Say that three times. What? I just did. As seen in another snapshot. The two-time pro bowler and the Victoria's Secret model. Just repeat that. I hope they can cover the rent. Were first linked when Ponton, Ponton, it's really Ponton, reported a burglary at Burroughs. Remember that? We covered that, Dallas. That's her. She's the girl that called when Bur burrow was on the road his house is busted into by illegals by the way remember they had a chain of

They would target athletes houses when they were on the road and she saw that and called She saw the burglary going on at Burroughs home in Ohio last December and reportedly identified herself as one of Burroughs employees Oh, is that what you call it now? Thank you. Oh, don't be gross. Yeah, look at her. I saw this picture, right, online, and people, there's literally guys going, she's like a seven. I'm going, oh, it's so hilarious. Whoever said that, never seen a girl naked. Please. Seven.

Out of five. That used to be funny, now I'm old and creepy. All right, I get it. Let's move on to buckle up bitches. This is what I'm not crazy about with all this, I said this before I'm gonna say it again remember when we get hit here in the homeland and we're gonna it's almost inevitable to me. Excuse me it's because of Joe Biden. Just just remember that okay. We had four years of him not four months he let in the world and there was a ton of guys on terror lists that Have not been spotted and that comes from Tom Holman. So anyways, why am I bringing that up? I don't know

This is about an airplane that dipped Why I bring that up is because I'm flying on these planes and I'm not crazy about I'm loading up dates as World War three buzzes around us And I'm not crazy about, I'm loading up dates as World War III buzzes around us. Anyways, I'm gonna die, as Jonathan Katz said, in the name of big top fun. That was one of the greatest lines ever. Anyways, five people aboard in American Airlines,

which I'm on every other week, flight were hospitalized Sunday after the airline said the aircraft experienced unexpected turbulence. Some fat woman fell in the bathroom. The plane barrel rolled like they trick things. She came out covered in blue water and shit. Everybody else was screaming. American Airlines flight 1286 was traveling from Miami to Raleigh-Durham in North Carolina as opposed to the one in Alaska when the plane hit turbulence. The plane and Airbus, first of all I don't like calling my plane a bus. Buses don't fly. They fall

at an amazing rate. An Airbus A321 landed safely at Raleigh Durham International Airport around 10.50 p.m. after the crew reported possible injuries. To cabin crew, to cabin, comma, crew NRDU fire rescue. I don't know who wrote that. I hope the kids die in a fire tonight. Along with rescued personnel, in other words, flight attendants, even somebody in the cockpit from, anyways, rescue personnel from Wake and Durham counties met the flight when it landed around 1130 PM

and rushed five individuals to a nearby hospital. These flight attendants and three flight attendants, two passengers were taken to the hospital and later released. No further details about the extent of any injuries were immediately provided. The airline added that the seatbelt sign was on. Oh, thank God. When the flight encountered turbulence. Good.

Who wears their seatbelt on? I can't, that's the thing about flying this much, I can't listen to those speeches anymore. They get longer every year and the part, I still, every time they do that I hear Tommy Boy, the movie in my head, when Tommy Boy and Dave Spade take over the plane, they're pretending they're flight attendants and he's like if you don't know how to do a belt a fucking seat belt it was like being on the top of a rollercoaster and going down on Joe Burrow one lady said said one passenger who wanted to remain anonymous it sounded like we hit something no it didn't and then we just dropped in the

that you did another passenger told the outlet that the sudden shift in altitude sent people laptops cell phones really stale peanuts and items from the drink cart flying in every direction Irish guys can we see scrambling on their knees in the cabin anyways that part is true oh that's the flight attendant that was a guy named Dave. They're a little effeminate, if you noticed. A passenger described seeing two flight attendants get injured, including one that suffered a broken arm and another who was burned from hot water on the drink cart. The passenger said a man was also knocked unconscious. You got knocked the fuck out, man.

That's what the guy said on the speaker. He's rubbing it in. I was on a plane when I was playing football in college. We were coming back from the Pennsylvania, Virginia. I can't remember. Anyways, we dropped. It felt like for 30 seconds. It might have been 10 seconds tops, but it felt like we thought we were goners.

It just went, ugh. And your stomach, somebody said it's just like being on a rollercoaster, and it is. Your stomach comes up into your mouth. It is the weirdest, Dallas knows. Dallas jumps out a perfectly good plane. He loves that feeling. He leans back in his chair like this and does that.

He loves that almost on the death feeling. But that scared the living shat. And a couple of my buddies smashed their head on the... They weren't buckled in. I said, no, no, no. I think it was one of the offensive guards and he spit in my face and said, shut up, faggot. And that was that. Finally tonight, West Coast Stupid.

Everybody knows you never go full retard. And at West Coast Stupid tonight, the deaths of an elderly couple and their dog last year occurred after an argument over a cheap hot dog at a nudist resort in California, according to recent police testimony. Oh, no, no. The minute I read that, I'm like, OK, nudist colony hot dog. There's your dick joke.

Fill it in. Right? Michael Sparks, that's him on the left, 62. I'm older than him. Somebody help me out. Dallas was arrested. You look great. Thank you, fella Thank you fella glad you

said that. Took a little but I was Michael Sparks was arrested on August 29, 2024 the San Bernardino County District Attorney stated Sparks was hit with two counts of first-degree murder in connection with the deaths of 79 year old Daniel Menard and his 73 year old wife Stephanie Menard and I know what you're thinking now they were out on their way out anyway. Sparks had been neighbors with the elderly couple at the Olive Dell Ranch, Nudus Resort in Colton. Now I saw a story, it has to be, this couldn't have happened in two places, on the ID network

but it was like two years ago about a nudist colony and their neighbor ended up killing them. This has to be it, right? According to Patch, that's the guy's dog, apparently, who saw the whole thing. The couple disappeared from their home on August 24th of last year. Following his arrest, Sparks told a fellow inmate what happened.

That's why they always, they can't help but brag about, the inmate said Mr. Sparks told him the incident started over a hot dog What I don't get Over a hot dog that and this has nothing to do with like his penis or anything That Daniel Menard had purchased for him. He said mr. Sparks felt that the hot dog was a jab at him. Now right here I go because he saw him in the nude beach and he had a small dick. Right? Ain't that where you're going with it? He said it made him feel like he was worth only a dollar hot dog and that's what set him off. The guy got a, bought

him a hot dog for a dollar so somehow that insulted him. I don't believe this. I think it was a dick thing, and he's trying to hide. I don't know. Williams added that the inmate said sparks when outside struck Mr. Menard in the head until his head caved in. So not exactly a glancing blow. Mrs. Menard came out yelling like hags will do, and got what she deserved, the real beaten.

No, sorry folks. And then he began striking Mrs. Menard and Mr. Menard with a rake, a hoe, not Jasmine Crockett, and a hammer. He had all those tools. He must have been furious. According to Williams, Sparks brought the bodies of the elderly couple into a concrete bunker he had built underneath his trailer. I think that sums up how he was doing at 62. When you get a trailer, that's not good, but when you get a cement bunker under it, you're fucking uberts. Witness Gail Heidelberg testified in court that she worked with Sparks when he had a job as a truck driver and this is why you don't hitchhike ladies Heidelberg allegedly texted Sparks so this is the woman who used to work with a killer she text him

and says I'm watching the news something going on where you live are you in town? Listen to this this is why I did the story Sparks the killer reportedly replied back it's me committing suicide today take care bye Heidelberg purportedly responded frantically wait what's going on where are you sparks allegedly texted back chopped up my neighbors, didn't know I had it in me. He's bragging.

Oh, my God. How is that not about a dick? Anyways, I thought we'd end it with a light one with two couples ab bludgers to death in their 70s. That's what we do here at the DePauwler Show. Anyways, Dallas, I'm supposed to say something. It's in there?

You're a beautiful fella. The live lineup starts tomorrow at 9 a.m. Eastern time with the Graham Allen show, Dear America, kicking off a full day of live streams. So I will see you guys right here tomorrow at 6 p.m. Eastern. You guys thank it, I'll say it, you're welcome. And like I said, see you tomorrow. Hi, good night everybody. I saved the world today And everybody's happy now The bad things gone away

And everybody's happy now The good things gonna stay Please let it stay Hey, hey, I saved the world today Everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away Everybody's happy now, The good things still stay Please let it You let it Thank you.