The Nick DiPaolo Show - Disney's "Queer" Agenda | Nick Di Paolo Show #684

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

Disney not shy about gay agenda. DeSantis explains bill, simply. Stewart standing for Vets/First Responders. School to punish whites harsher. Prick paroled.

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Richard. Richard. Wow. I'm a fucking bop We ain't partners partners. We need brothers and we need friends. We need partners. We need brothers and we need friends. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, yeah. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show, Wednesday. Here's the voice already. Don't. That's all right. Let her roll. God damn it. It's a morning thing.

I spit up like nine-pound lobster. Clams, I meant. Pick a seafood. Lung omelets. Excuse me. Folks, one cigarette this morning. That's it. It helps me poop. And then I put it out on my own thigh on the toilet just to show how tough I am. Anyhow, you know what they say. We need partners. We need brothers and we need friends. Exactly. Real quick, Chris Rock, I'm tired of talking about,

but Amy Schumer's on the front of the New York Post, triggered, traumatized. Unbelievable. You understand that's a marketing move? That's the, hey, we got to capitalize on this. You were right there. That's all that is. Oh, were you traumatized?

Really? You weren't too traumatized when I get punched In the fucking face Had the black eye All over the internet I used to fucking like her Then I asked her To put my special On her

Twitter thing She wouldn't So fuck you Got a lot of more Fuck you's coming And they're very famous people What am I gonna What are they gonna do

What are they gonna do Kick me out of the Fucking studio They're very famous people. What am I going to do? What are they going to do? Kick me out of the fucking studio? There's a fucking goat outside. It's just a goat. Mom, it's a fucking goat. What? I can't help it.

I jerked off to that. Because it was funny, not because it was a kid. It's a fucking goat. Mama. Anything else? I don't know. I'm just... I woke up mad about...

I woke up mad about this. I hate Will Smith and his wife so much. And listening to all these people act like, where did that come from? Like he hasn't been a douchebag for the last time. He's been a troubled person for a long time. You know why? He's filthy rich and likes most people.

Well, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he has a conscience and they feel guilty about it. They feel guilty. They, actors and actresses, read words that other people write and make zillions. And they feel guilty.

That's why they're all liberals and they always look at me and virtue signal. Here's this cause, that cause. Because they know they're overpaid sloth. Nick, are you saying that because you're... No, I got in a few shows. I did enough acting on TV to cover Dental for six months. That's how it works with a union, Bill. Any who, any he. Okay, let's get right to the Disney. You guys, if you're fans of

my comedy, you know I've been shitting on Disney for years and I think they're a cult um they've been poisoning and again this dawned on me before I even followed politics I started to see the cartoons change cartoons used to be great when I know Disney's been around forever too but I'm talking Warner Brothers when you could drop an anvil on a coyote's head. Shit that humans couldn't do. That's the idea of animation. And then douchebag Disney,

who's been around forever, but they started to change with the times with the fucking fairy princess being a guy and a fucking queen with a dick and a sheep that licks pussy and they call it goofy and all that silly shit. Why?

Because they had your kids' attention. Animation equals young audiences usually. And now it's full-blown out there. There's some, this isn't a Project Veritas, but there's some clips of them. I don't know if somebody hacked them or they're just out in the open. About their reaction, this is sort of their reaction to Governor DeSantis. It is parental rights bill, which the media is labeling as don't say gay. The word gay doesn't even appear in the bill.

But the media and Disney pretend it does. And so here are some high honchos. Disney corporate president, Carrie Burke. She says this about what's going on at Disney. She's one of the CEOs. Listen to this PC chooch. I'm here as a mother of two queer children, actually. One transgender child and one pansexual child.

Pansexual. Pause. I don't even. I forget what pansexual is. Does he blow a load in a skillet? What is that? Is that when you cook eggs for your life partner? A pan.

Pan-sexual. That's something that'll have sex with anybody or anything. That's my definition. We used to call it a dirty whore. Good night, everybody. Look at the dick on the right. Anytime I see somebody signaling, I'm not going to vote for you, even if you're a fucking staunch conservative.

That just irritates me. That says PC. I'm a parent of a goo gobbler and a clam lapper. I couldn't be more proud. Is she done talking? Nope. Oh, good. Many, many, many LGBTQIA characters in our stories. And yet we don't have enough leads and narratives in which gay characters just get to be characters

and not have to be about gay stories. Yeah, but who's going to go see, that's how stupid she is. Yeah, but who's going to go see, that's how stupid she is. Who's going to go see a Disney animated film where the gay character is a barista at a coffee shop and not Peter Pan or whatever? I guess the voice would be over the top and the character would be doing really gay things, I guess. But it wouldn't be about him. I mean, what are you talking about? You're obsessed because you gave birth to a couple of mamalooks.

Ugh. I'm gayer than a Disney film, and I like it that way. I'll gobble goo by the fucking tons. Stick your dirty cock in my fucking buns. Um, oh, come on, Nick. What is this, the morning zoo?

Yeah, it is. Shut it. I'm a parent to a child. I'm a mother. Ugh. Brainwashing little kids. Brainwashing little kids brainwashing little kids it's just a goat that little kid thinks that's a Disney animal.

Anyhow, any he. And then we have another clip. Again, these are Disney corporate people. I don't know who this is. Vivian Ware. Yes, Vivian Ware. She is the diversity, excuse me, Disney diversity and inclusion manager. Vivian Ware.

You don't think there's a gay agenda, folks? People have been saying this since, well, Carmela Soprano said it in Sopranos. And I felt when she said it, it was dated because everybody's been knowing there's a gay agenda. So that was 25 years ago. To give you an idea how long it's been. Now let's listen to what Mr. Ware has to say, the truck driver. Last summer we removed all the gendered greetings in relationship to our life skills.

So we no longer say ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. We've provided training for all of our cast members in relationship to that. skills so we no longer say ladies and gentlemen boys and girls um we we've trained we we've provided training for all of our our cast members and in relationship to that so now they know it's it's hello everyone or hello friends we we are in the process of changing over those those recorded messages and so many of you are probably familiar when we brought the fireworks back to the magic kingdom we no longer say ladies and gentlemen boys and and girls. We say dreamers of all ages. And so I love the fact that it's opened up the creativity. Fucking quiz! We don't say ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls anymore.

That's right. We're taking away thousands and thousands of years of tradition, biology, because we're obsessed with our own sexuality, because we feel we've been stomped upon, and we're going to change all of you. We're not going to be happy until you're all eating pussy, eating ass, sucking dick. And so is Snow White and Daffy Duck and the rest of them. We are obsessed with our own sexuality.

See how proud? We don't say ladies and gentlemen. I would think not saying gentlemen would piss her off. Am I right, Bob? Disney diversity and inclusion, man. That was Vivian Ware. She's a good-looking lady. Christy.

Yeah? Get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial. Therefore, Disney would love to use his stuff. Executive producer Latoya Raveneau says her team has implemented a not at all, at least she's being honest. I've got to be honest with this girl, or whatever she is. I hate what she stands for, but she's bubbly about it, and she's like, we're getting away with it. Not at all secret, not at all, quote, secret agenda.

And is regularly adding, she says she's regularly adding queerness to children's programming. Like I add cream to coffee. She's bragging, folks, about indoctrinating your kids because it's that out in the fucking open, apparently. I don't mean to be, and again, I like gay people. They're a lot of fun. They're terrific. They clean the nice neighborhoods. They eat sushi and they dress nice and then fuck each other in the face.

Let's listen to what Latoya Jackson has to say. Showrunners were super welcoming. Meredith Roberts and our leadership over there has been so welcoming to like my like not at all secret gay agenda. And so like I feel like I felt like it was, I mean like maybe it was that way in the past, but I guess like something must have happened in the last like, like they were turning it around they're going hard and then all that like momentum that i felt like that sense of i don't have to be afraid to like let's have these two characters kiss let's in the background like i was just wherever i could just basically adding queerness also i don't like nobody touching me now any of you homos touch me and i'll kill you i was making a gay stew i was just adding all types of fagginess for your kids. Just dropping that seed in their little minds. Oh my God,

Disney, you're evil. And what's so weird is, you know, Walt Disney was like a fucking Nazi. He was. He was like a fucking Nazi. Great businessman, but he was a real Nazi. At least that's what I've heard, but I don't see it in his characters. At least that's what I've heard, but I don't see it in his characters. Maybe Daffy Duck. I don't know. Then he's fucking way. So I thought that was interesting. And all this is really a result of a reaction, some of it is, to Ron DeSantis, the next president, if it's not Trump.

He sure seems to be putting himself in that, I mean, these issues that most Americans, when you poll Americans, they think like Florida does. He's always on national news or on Fox News fighting it tooth and nail. The rest of the governors are just going along because they're part of the problem. I'm so cynical. I'm looking around the Sanctus going, is he just playing his role in this reorder of the world of faggotry? Anyhow, I think we have got Ronnie DeSantis talking about what is called the parental rights bill. And the media, like I said, they've labeled it the don't say gay bill, which is so misleading, yet everybody has jumped on it. Here he is explaining exactly what the bill is and does. Well, this bill is about providing protection so that they know they can send their young kids to school without them being sexualized, without a school telling a young girl, for example, that she may really be a boy.

And if schools are trying to do things that impact the health and well-being of the kids and they're undertaking certain services, that parents have a right to know that and provide consent for it. So this is a real bill that empowers parents. It protects our kids. And for a company like Disney to say that this bill should have never passed. First of all, Tucker, they weren't saying anything when this was going through the House. They only started doing this because the mob, the woke mob, came after them. But put that aside, for them to say that them as a

California-based company are going to work to take those California values and overturn a law that was duly enacted and, as you said, supported by a strong majority of Floridians. They don't run this state. They will never run this state as long as I'm governor. Oh, my God, you must hate fags. He was the best guy around. And he's still around, and he's telling it like it is. Always telling the truth. Are you interested in the real

story? Yes, that's why I listen to Rhonda Sanchez. But, you know, he's right. Disney is a California-based company, yet they have how many theme parks in Florida? And they think they're going to override his fucking

legislation, voted on by the people of Florida. This guy gets how the... What's the refu... Oh, my God, it's contagious. I just said the refu... The refu public and government. What are you doing? Fitting on your pecker.

What are the rest of you guys doing? I don't even hear them backing him or whatever. A few people do. But, again, it's all part of the plot. Maybe I'm... I don't even know it. Maybe or whatever. A few people do. But again, it's all part of the plot. Maybe I'm, I don't even know it, maybe I'm a character in this movie. Boy, what a sad role they gave me, huh? Folks, that was so funny,

funnier than my shirt, which is from the Ellen DeGeneres prison collection. Oh, man, good bugger. I don't know but I've been told it's just a goat mom it's a fucking goat

what no it's a fucking goat hey uh I've talked about Jon Stewart and um I know you a lot of fans, you probably can't stand him, but I think you'd like him if you met him. He's sort of an old school liberal who listens to both sides, just like Manny, who owned the Comedy Cellar. He's a comic. He's a little younger than me, I think, is it? No, he's about my age. That doesn't matter. Anyways, I've always liked him.

He had me on his shows. He knew I was a right winger, but he had me on not the Daily Show, but the first couple shows on the comedy. It used to be called the Hot Channel. Then it became the Comedy Central Channel. But he always loved my stand-up.

He's always been respectful. He'd hang out with us sometimes at the Comedy Cellar. But he always loved my stand-up. He's always been respectful. He'd hang out with us sometimes at the Comedy Cellar. And he represented his side well. I don't care what you say. Again, I don't like his politics either. I'm sure that he abhors mine, obviously. But he's a good guy. And I think this sort of proves it. As he gets older, like a lot of libs, start to see the light and smell the coffee. But this doesn't surprise me. Stewart for vets and first responders. John Stewart.

Boy, we're all getting old. He looks good, but we're all getting old. Somebody sent me a picture today and said, guess who this is. I go, I go a goat goat, my back, yeah. It's Billy, Billy Goat. I went to high school with him. Somebody sent me a picture and said, who is this?

I go, some fucking old guy in shorts in his driveway. It was a fullback that I played with at UMaine. Matt Bennett, he was about 6'4", 225, scary looking dude when he was a fullback. Skinny

old man. Oh my god. You wouldn't even know he played sports. He was a wild man too. He was the type of guy that was doing mescaline on the planes on the way back from our road trip and just beating

up anybody that looked at him wrong. He was a real fucking mean Irishman from Melrose. Anyways, back to my story. John Stewart's become one of the nation's most high profile and powerful campaigners for veterans' health since stepping down from The Daily Show in 2015. So he's been doing this for seven years now. And you don see you know um him bragging about it once in a while you know he'll get some ink i probably i think he might have come on fox and promoted it uh on tuesday he was in washington remember he fucking he kind of shit on colbert during the the wuhan virus thing remember colbert we don't know where this came from. He goes, it's called the Wuhan virus. Remember, that was sort of, everybody was like, whoa.

He was in Washington, flanked a few days ago by members of Congress to argue for the passing of the Honoring Our Pact Act, which would make any veteran who served in the war on terror, including first responders, Any veteran who served in the war on terror, including first responders, eligible for care and benefits for numerous cancers and breathing ailments. You can't ask for a better cause, really. Stewart, 59, younger than me, just to bust my balls, right, God? You're a real... Berated politicians for dragging their heels on the bill and said they did not appreciate the gravity of the situation.

I love that he let them fucking have it right there. He said, you want to do it here? Let's dig a giant fucking pit 10 acres long and burn everything in Washington with jet fuel. See, that's where they got sick, cleaning up 9-11. And they keep, for five years now, they said, we're going to get to it.

We're going to get to it. We're going to get to it. Right, Dallas? Overseas, too, though. I mean, we're burning burn pits and everything. Yes. That we had. Yes.

Overseas where you were stationed. Yeah, they're not just talking about it. You're right. I forgot. They were burning pits overseas. What would you be burning like on the Iranians? Trash and actual human

feces and everything. Yeah, that's good to breathe in. And they know it. When I fucking, we stayed in Kandahar, you had that open cesspool. You could bite the air. It was, the shit smell was, and I'm like,

they get used to it, it's fucking, but like you said, anyways, so he's calling them out on that. That's a sick question, you're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick

that I'm going to answer it. That was their response to John's question. I want to burn a bit, right? And then he said, and then he said, then let me know

how long they want to wait before they think it's going to cause some health problems. Here he is. And again, I admire him for doing this out here, talking to. And there are some politicians that are out there that are on his side. I doubt any dams. I could be wrong. But go ahead.

That's what this is about. We can't wait any longer. This delay is unconscionable. And you're going to have a hearing today, and you're going to hear a lot of nonsense about, is this responsible? They're all going to say the same thing. We want to do it.

We want to support the veterans. But we want to do it the right way. We want to be responsible. You know what would have been nice? If they had been responsible 20 years ago and hadn't spent trillions of dollars on overseas adventures. If they had been responsible and hadn't spent billions of dollars for defense contractors to poison our own troops. If they had been responsible and understood that 20 years of war was going to create an overflow and an influx of sick veterans paying the consequences of those wars, they had their chance to be responsible.

Translation. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. I can't believe how the vets are like treating everybody. Anybody who saw action, I mean anybody. I don't care if you were a typist, if you were over there. No taxes the rest of your life. No taxes. And that's not even that big a there. No taxes the rest of your life. No taxes.

And that's not even a big deal. No taxes. And maybe free. I mean, we're giving homeless people free shelter and shit. How about the guy that lost two arms over there? Right? It's just a repeat of Vietnam all over again. Yeah.

No taxes. Start there. Why should you ever have to pay? Dallas is looking at me like he doesn't pay taxes or something. He goes, you haven't figured it out. I have no idea what you're talking about. Why are you whispering like Joe Biden? Speak up. It doesn't deter.

What a fucking ass. What a fucking... We're on the brink of World War III and we got Mr. Magoo with three martinis in him. Fucking ugh. But good for Jon Stewart is what I say. And he's been doing it a while.

I saw him like on HBO. It might have been Bill Maher or something pushing this in various talk shows. People are surprised when I say that, you know. You know how I am. I'm very shallow. If somebody likes me and treats me nice, I don't give a fuck. That's all I ask.

It's not like a high school football coach just respect me well my wife goat i'm sorry it's just a goat It's just a goat. Mom, it's a fucking goat. What? Why's there a goat in your driveway? That kid should get a spanking.

I couldn't curse like that, even in high school. My old man would crack me one. I had friends who talked like that to their parents in high school. And I'm talking to one of my buddies who went to fucking an Ivy League school, and he's a zillionaire, very smart, Italian. Very surprised. Then again, speaking of punishment, how about this story pissed me off more than the Disney horse shit.

You guys remember when I talked about disparate impact? This is when Obama, I think, was still in office. Maybe not. Maybe after he was out a year or two. But they were trying to change the punishment rules at a school in Minneapolis that was very violent and teachers would get hit. And they came in and did a study, and it turned out black students were being punished more than white students so right away they jumped to the conclusion has to be racism what other way what other subject matter do you use that thought process like that you don't even go why though they don't want to know the truth it's called disparate impact where you just see the numbers

eliminate any other discussion no analogy just look at the bottom line and go oh it's racism so they try to pass shit I remember when the stuff passed it was like a kid could punch a teacher in the head still not get suspended if he was black

this is a form of that only they're giving it a fancy name now this is in washington state i believe um will race uh be a factor in school punishment a school district and who do you think it's going to affect negatively i mean the minute you read the headline you guys should know a school district in Washington State, I think it says, it's cut off, passed a new policy that critics say encourages administrators to factor in race when disciplining students, even in 2022. It's just so ridiculous. What the fuck?

The Clover Park School District Board approved the, on, this is how it's written, approved the on a three to two vote. Approved the fucking measure on a three to two vote on March 14th over the objections of board members who actually had minds and think on their own. Who expressed concerns that it was ill-conceived. A three-year-old can tell it's ill-conceived if you know the times they're living in and who's causing all the problems in a school. And I'm not saying that, well, I am saying it, black and brown, but again, they're from broken homes. There's a reason if you look into it and not just go whitey. Once again, the victims of white supremacy, the district and the suburbs of Tacoma will now use, listen to the fancy name they give it, culturally responsive discipline that encourages school staff to impose disciplinary policies that may be adapted to individual student need why do you give a fuck

about a student's needs if he punched another student in the face why are you worrying about the fucking suspect and not the victim or the teacher to individual needs in other words if he's from a broken home don't punish him him. He's had a hard life. And a culturally responsive manner. Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. Exactly. Critics say the new approach is, in effect, a race-based disciplinary policy. They're admitting it's race-based.

That will encourage harsher or lighter punishments based on a student's race, with white students being disciplined more severely. Of course, you didn't think they're going to try to pass something that makes minority students disciplined more severely, did you? But the district, of course, here come the lying cocksuckers of the school, but the district insists that it is following a state law passed in 2021 that compels districts to, now get this, if you can make heads or tails of this gobble gobble, align with the cultural competency, diversity, equity, and inclusion standards.

Can I translate that for you? If you're black or brown and get in trouble, we're going to go easy on you. Because we all know you live in a white-dominated society, and it's not your fault. Contrary to recent inaccurate news coverage and social media posts, Clover Park School District's student discipline policy does not make race a determining factor for administering discipline. It contains no such provision. It doesn't have to contain a provision. Everybody knows, said board president,

lying cocksucker, Alyssa Anderson Pearson. Oh, God. Ladies, honest to God, that's what we need. Another woman from a junior college with a psychology degree ruining the country. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. She probably has a black eighth grade boyfriend. I'd give her a shot.

Hey, watch your mouth. Watch your mouth. Watch your mouth. At the school board meeting earlier this month, board member Anthony Velez, who ultimately voted in favor of the policy, he had the gall to ask for an example of what the so-called cultural discipline might look like, which is a great

question, even though he gave in in the end. Board President Pearson, that woman there, who supported the paneling that they put up in 1972 behind her living room, who supported the measure, laughed and deferred to acting super she couldn't even answer the question she gave that giggle that nervous lib giggle and she deferred the question to acting superintendent Brian Laubach of course he looked at her and went a district spokeswoman said Pearson was annoyed that board members were breaking policy for the meeting. I don't even know what that means either. What policy? No meetings?

Essentially, they are referring there that you look at, this is how it's written, are you dispersing discipline across the ethnicities? He's explaining it. The racial groups equitably. That's not how life works. That's not how they are fucking equity. That word has

taken first place for me over community. That's not how life works. If you're in a prison with 90 different races, do you think, what are you doing? You know what? There's been like nine riots. We have to have the Aryan brothers and the Puerto Ricans have to commit the same amount of

mayhem. We have to punish everybody. That's not how life works. Oh, my God. It's like juvenile thinking. Anyways, that's what Laba explained. So are you disciplining African-American boys more than you're disciplining white boys? He's saying that's what you should be asking yourself. John Arbini, a former deputy mayor of Lakewood, expressed skepticism at this explanation. So he said, the guy finally had a mind, right? So culturally responsive discipline is merely a deceptive cover term for racially slash ethnically based discipline, which seeks to even out the numbers of disciplinary incidents based upon racial slash ethnicities, populations, or some other undefined criteria,

wrote Aberini, and he's right on the money. You are correct, sir. Like I said again, it's not a secret that black and brown kids get into more trouble at school. Oh, you're generalizing. No, no. Oh, you're generalizing. No, no. Jason Rantz, who has a unibrow, what's that electrical tape over his eyes? Let me just say this. A conservative commentator. Let me tell you, those blacks are only going to throw. That's terrible. Sound like fucking Hawkeye. Jason Rantz, a conservative commentator, went even further in criticizing the policy, writing in a column for blah, blah, blah. Is that cut off, or is it...

What's it say, Del? That's how it's written. In practice, it means favorable treatment of racial minorities, which he's exactly right. It would likely offer harsher punishments to white students even if the conduct is identical to that of black or hispanic students he argued the district vehemently denied that race would be

determined fact you already said it would it's in the title uh determining factor administering discipline under they lie right to your face under the new policy they just fucking have the balls to uh you're lying they lie And you're a piece of shit. Yeah, no, you're passing new punishment policies in school because, you know what? White kids are getting it. It's unfair to whites how they're being punished. How silly does that even sound? And once again, they use language to confuse people. What are you going to do, sit home with a fucking thesaurus?

You got three kids in school? Well, Nick, that's old school. Okay, Google, whatever you want, you titmouse. There's a fucking goat outside. It's just a goat. Mom, it's a fucking goat. What? Prick paroled.

This was an interesting one. I really wish I was this guy. No. This guy's horrible. A 70-year-old man in prison for the 1976. I don't remember hearing about this. I was 14. I used to fall, but no, I didn't.

I was in a bathroom jerking off to Dorothy Hamill on the cover of TV Guide. Boy, did I fucking. I permanently bent my dick. You guys know that about me. I'm a Dorothy Hamill. Even now, I'd break into her house. You might be, you might see me on that show, Signs of a Psychopath. 70-year-old me on a hill. She's skating in the wind on a pond behind her house.

I got binoculars. Side-by-side sit spins. Do the Hamill Camel. Yummy, yummy. I got binoculars. Side-by-side sit-ins. Do the Hamill Camel. Yummy, yummy. I liked you so much, I cut my hair like Dorothy Hamill in high school. Boy, did I take a beat. 70-year-old man in prison for the 1976 kidnapping

of a bus full of children has been approved for... Where's this guy when I get on a plane full of children on the way to L.A.? Children has been approved for parole, according to spokesperson Joe Orlando of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Frederick Newhall Woods, 70 years old, was one of three men who kidnapped 26 children. Why would you do that? Well, he explained. And their bus driver in Chowchilla, a small city in northern California's Madera County,

more than 45 years ago he did this, and he's in the news now. What? That's it, Charlie. You're not even important anymore. Yeah, exactly. All 27 captives were taken to Livermore, more than 100 miles away, placed into a moving truck and buried alive. When I read that, I thought the kids ended up dead.

They were buried in a truck that was underground in a quarry owned by Woods' father. And the kids are trying to get out. That was from the Flintstones. Anybody get that? The kidnappers then demanded $5 million ransom while the victims were underground in what was the largest mass kidnapping in U.S. history,

a scheme apparently inspired by a plot point in the movie Dirty Harry. And I remember it. I forget the movie. Woman gets kidnapped. Do you remember this, Dallas? They bury her alive in a, you know, she could breathe,

but they said, if you don't give us the ransom, you know, we're going to cut off her air supply or whatever. I tried doing that with a cousin I didn't like. Man. Never worked. After 16 hours underground, the driver and the children dug themselves

out and escaped as the kidnappers were asleep. I gave that one to you. I put that in there for you. I feed a saint. I put that in there for you. My feet are sane. Woods and his co-conspirators, Richard and James Schoenfeld,

pleaded guilty to kidnapping and were each given 27 life sentences without the possibility of parole. However, because of liberalism and West Coast stupidity, an appeals court overturned the sentence and ruled that they should have the chance for parole. I'd love to know the mind process there. They almost killed 27 kids, but come on. What the fuck? Who did that?

Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? You know what's funny? If the first two guys fucked, they'd have that kid. Would they not?

Kind of. I just noticed that. Oh, my God, am I funny. Richard Schoenfeld was paroled in 2012. James Schoenfeld, although a brother, were released in 2015. And Tiger Woods is the last of the three still in prison. Woods' 18th parole hearing was held Friday. 18th parole hearing.

That's like when Charlie Manson used to have a parole hearing every year. And somebody had a great bit about it. You know, the chances are, when you go to a parole hearing and you have a swastika carved in your forehead, you might have been a little, I don't think that. Woods' 18th parole hearing was held Friday at California Men's Colony. Sounds like a gay bar.

First we'll hit Men's Colony, and then we'll go to the toolbox. You with me, Ted? A state prison in San Luis Obispo. San Luis Obispo. He first became eligible for parole in 1982. I was a sophomore at University of Maine, just embarking on my football career. According to inmate information, the proposed parole decision by the hearing panel will become final within 120 days.

After the parole decision becomes final, the governor, that would be Newsom, correct, is going to take him to lunch at the French Laundry, make him wear a mask while he eats maskless. The governor has 30 days to review the decision. I'll bet my mother's tits that governor says let him go. Who's with me? Because if he didn't, it looked like he actually had a mind. He can either allow the decision the governor can't stand or refer it to the full board for review.

The governor can only reverse parole decisions, oh, if the inmate was convicted of murder. Okay, so you're not even going to have a chance to, which Woods wasn't. And I'll tell you another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. What? Who, me? Hey, I want to, before we go, And I'll tell you another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. What? Who?

Me? Hey, I want to, before we go, I got to thank these people who contribute to the show. It's a dangerous situation. One-time contributions, Larry Ramey. Oh, my God. If it's the same ten names, folks, I'm going to start to get fucking angry. I flew out to fucking Dallas. I did Dallas. I did Fort Worth.

I knocked the shit out of all four shows. Actually, I did. My wife said I picked up five or six hundred on Instagram. Whatever that means. Does it make me any money? No, so suck it. If she said you picked up fucking 50 subscribers, then I'd whack it

right in the living room. My scotch guard at the fireplace. Larry Ramey of Ohio, of course. Daniel Devane, Texas. Bobby Taylor, Canada. I like that name. Buddy Paul Sagnella of Connecticut. Kit Fortney, defensive back,

Michigan. Franz Grissom. Again, here's the same five names. Your mother's box. I don't mean to be. Franz Grissom, Crout, Oklahoma. Ed Schmidtom, Crout, Oklahoma. Ed Schmidt, another Crout, Illinois. Buddy Green, Washington. Jeremy Birch of New York.

James Reno of Nevada. Really? Bill Purcell, Nevada. William Purcell. Joshua Schmidt. Hey, that's another Schmidt. Texas. Jimmy Dempster, Georgia. Sean, that's another Schmidt. Texas. Jimmy Dempster.

Georgia. Sean Powell's liver's still kicking. Florida. Douglas Young from Wohan Institute. No. And Tim Herscheid, obviously, has been with me since the beginning. Sean O'Donoghue, a nice Irish fellow from New York. Matthew Leonard, Colorado.

Paul Winters of New York. Kelly Hubbard of Michigan. New monthly supporters. We picked up, this was a little good, Mark Blessing. What's your middle name? Whatta? Heather Joyce Fenton. Dated her in high school. Whatta das? Steve Stanley, Scott Brown, Joseph Hirsch, Stephen Ray Vaughn, Harold Waits, Jen on Patreon, hi Jen, Kelly Yarno, Virginia, Bobby Taylor in there again from Canada, Jacob Wallman, Wisconsin, Bobby Taylor in there again from Canada. Jacob Wallman, Wisconsin. Excuse me. Joseph Blinchenko of Canada.

Mike Gover, Florida. Kurt Grains of Michigan. Tyler Moore of Ohio. David Smith of the great state of Georgia, right where we are. Thank you guys so much. Well, thank you so much for such a great show tonight. That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank you guys again for tuning in. I know you guys don't watch the show usually.

The beauty of podcasts, you do it at night or in the morning. A lot of people tell me after the show, my husband listens to it in the shower. I hear that all the time. And people, that's the beauty of it. And it's nice to know. It scares me when people, fans send me pictures, and I see myself on their flat screen in the living room. It creeps me out.

I go, oh, my God, is the world that sad? Don't forget, not this weekend. Following weekend, I think it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Foxwoods, a club called Comics, C-O-M-I-X, I believe. Foxwoods. I've played at a couple. Great friggin' room. I took mushrooms the last time I was there.

And I ran out of a, I told you, I ran away from a slot machine that had a Jurassic Park dinosaur because it was going like this to me. That's as crazy as it got, though. Have you ever done mushrooms, Dale? No? Oh, you seem like... I bet you Gianna has. Huh? We're going to do them together.

Somebody... Huh? Somebody told me you just giggle, and that's what I did. But then I hear other... Maybe I got a weak batch. Then I hear other people say you can see the walls moving and shit.

I mean, the dinosaur did give me the finger or something, but anyways. That is it. Don't forget the patreon.com, comicsgym.com if you want to sign up for the show on a monthly basis. Cameo.com if you'd like me to make a video on my phone. I can

say happy birthday to friends, relatives. I can roast them, whatever you'd like. You guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow for the final day of the week. Have a good day. There's a fucking goat outside. It's just a goat.

Mom, it's a fucking goat. What? guitar solo guitar solo Outro Music