The Nick DiPaolo Show - Donald Dumps On Daniels | Nick Di Paolo Show #1375

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

Man Arrested for Stealing Van with Corpse Inside. Donald On Stormy. Stormy Gets Sales From Controversy. AI "Arrests" Trump. Drive Through Drive By.   Join Nick for bonus content at Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow Go see Nick on the road! www.nickdip.com/tour for tickets!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Nick DiPaolo Show is going to be joining Mug Club on Rumble in a few weeks. When it's time to movie subscription from Patreon to Rumble, we will let you know. You'll get my free show, my exclusive content, and shows by Jimmy Brewer, Brian Callen, Mr. Guns and Gear, and the great Steven Crowder, all for less than what many of you are paying right now. Stay tuned for details. And again, thanks for supporting this show continuously. guitar solo Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves. What did I do to you? What did I do to you? Welcome, folks.

Thursday, isn't it? Final day of the goddamn week. At least for us. Not you guys. You got Friday. Some of you Saturday. At least for us. Not you guys. You got Friday. Some of you Saturday. Some of you Sunday. Some of you seven days a week.

But that's only if you're a Greek and you own a diner in New York. And you live right upstairs from work. Those are the people that made America, okay? Unbelievable. That's what I loved about New York. Literally. Asian families right above their restaurant. Wouldn't that suck?

Can't get away. But they work hard. They make a lot of money just to have it stolen from some street thug that Alvin Bragg let out of jail. Piece of fuckstain. Huh? Yeah.

Hey, I just saw this hot off the press. I couldn't help it. I like funny offbeat. Illinois man who allegedly stoned funeral home van with corpse inside was arrested. The man wanted for allegedly stealing a van from a funeral home with a corpse in it and dumping the body in a Chicago alleyway because certain segments of his population have such high regard for life. because certain segments of this population have such high regard for life. Dumpton has finally been arrested after two months on the lam.

Dion Howard, I'm not guessing what I got. I'm guessing future quarterback for Titans. Was taken into custody on Sunday in Green Bay. Okay, a packer. About 200 miles north of the scene of the crime, the Brown County Sheriff's Office said he was arrested after getting into an argument with an officer during a traffic stop where the police identified him as the wanted suspect. You know, you can't do that. Howard is accused of stealing a van from the Collins and Stone Funeral Home in Rockford.

They don't have a spectacular record, according to Yelp, on January 21st, which was carrying the body of 47-year-old Curtis Brown, a father of 12. Guessing he ain't white either. Again, I could be racist or I could be dead on the money. Police found the van abandoned the following day, and the next day they spotted Brown's body tossed naked into an alleyway in South Chicago about 100 miles from the funeral home. It's about right for the times we're living in. We are rotting from the inside out. No principles, no values, no nothing.

Rockford Police Chief Carla, as we say in Boston, Carla Redd, said she was shocked by the brazen crime during a news conference when Brown's body was returned to his family. In 25 years, the first time we've ever heard of anything like this. I hope we never have to see anything like this again, Redd said. While Rockford police said they are still investigating how the van was stolen from the funeral home, they noted the vehicle was left unlocked and running before Howard allegedly took off with it. The vehicle was left unlocked and running before Howard Ledney took off with it. Prior to the incident, the funeral home director, Brandy Collins, had received a $10,000 fine. I guarantee she went from like a Barbizon.

She was a hairdresser, I'm guessing, and jumped into this. Brandy Collins had received $10,000 fine for unprofessional conduct. This is before this. Failure to account for personal property. That would be, you know, bodies. And aiding and assisting unlicensed practice. She was, how do you do this job illegally out of all the shit you can do illegally? She was placed on probation through May 2023 with the Browns family demanding that the home be closed over its alleged negligence in the case.

I just had to read that because it just sums up. There's a theory that, you know, what is it? Ultimate MK. It's a hair stuff for you. MK Ultra is a theory that they put headlines out to that. They they they'll, for months, rush the worst to make it feel even. But they're real. So how can you say? But that's a theory that I just made up.

No. Actually, yeah, my wife was reading that book. And she said that. And she nebulized. Look, my tooth. It's still fucking missing. Tomorrow, supposedly. I don't believe it. Anyways. Look, my tooth, it's still fucking missing. Tomorrow, supposedly.

I don't believe it. Anyways, let's get to, that was an additional story for you people. Okay, let's get back to, I know we've been doing this a couple days, but it's very interesting. One of the greatest presidents in the history, now a former president,

is being indicted and may be arrested. He was predicting today, I don't think it's going to happen. We might have heard, but I don't know. What am I saying? This show's Thursday. He could be already doing half the sentence. Donald on Stormy.

It was a restless night. I want you to, again, when Nick DiPaolo reads the news, about 10 seconds in, you should go, oh, this must be from a left-wing. He looks good there. It was a restless night. Says who? For Donald Trump.

Are you fucking the guy? Who ripped into ex-porn star Stormy Daniels on Monday, claiming he's a victim as a possible criminal indictment looms and Donald said to the last army you fucking oh no let's make this a you know what make a sandwich Trump launched the trade on his social media platform truth Truth Social. And I'm telling you, man, this guy is worth his weight in gold. Here's, I started this about halfway into the speech. Go ahead. The Mar-a-Lago raid or the unselect committee hoax,

the perfect Georgia phone call, it was absolutely perfect, or the stormy horse-faced Daniels extortion plot they're all sick and it's fake news our enemies are desperate to stop us because they know that we are the only ones who can stop them and they know it very strongly guys you don't miss that the horsey face he's you know, she called my dick a mushroom. I'm going to fucking call her Mr. Ed. I don't know, that horsey likes to pork. I got no problem with it.

What? Shut up. And they're looking at the polls. He says, we're not, but we are up by so much. This is Trump continuing. They can't even believe it. We won twice. And now we've got to win a third time.

And I believe him wholeheartedly. Yes, sir. Trump went on to address his loyal followers, telling them directly, they know that we can defeat them. They know that we will defeat them. But they are not coming after me. They're coming after you. I'm just standing in their way,

and I will always stand in their way. It's really true. Coming after our way of life, and people will just stand there and watch it fucking happen. Now, again, this is where I get always conflicted, because I believe in that theory. MK Ultra? The toothpaste.

I believe, again, there's five guys in a room that fucking, this is a big play. It's a script. I swear to God. I'm that, you know. And they said, you have to play the guy. We have to put up some resistance. We can't just turn this into a Marxist country overnight or a globalist. We need a fake.

That's so jaded. I can't even, but I don't want to call him fake. I think he believes what he believes. Anyways, Trump is facing a possible indictment, over $130,000 hush money payment. You guys already know this. He allegedly made to Stormy, Stormy Daniels, real name Stephanie Clifford. I like that.

Better. More sexy. Stormy Daniels. The fuck is that? Stormy Daniels, partly cloudy with a chance of fucking. What? Anyways, that all happened in 2016. And Stormy Daniels, as Uncle Junior said to Sopranos, she was game as they come.

Please give me a cup. That was the quote under her yearbook picture in high school. That really raised some eyebrows. Insisting again on Saturday that he's innocent. You hear the tone of the articles written? Trump reminded his 5 million true social followers that Manhattan DA Alvin the racist fat pig Bragg's campaign had been heavily financed by liberal billionaire, who else? George fucking Soros. Get this through your head, you Jew you motherfucker you oh no no no no no let's move on anyways uh uh i'll say it again stormy

every lawyer is laughing at this but the statue of limitations has run out it's not illegal to pay somebody to shut up this on any ground is is here's the question. Is Trump that clean that that's all they can come up with? Are they really that inept, the Democrats? This guy's been a fucking international developer. He doesn't have any, and I'm a fan. I'm just playing double-decker.

He doesn't have any skeletons in his client. That's the best you can come up with? I don't even know if they're going to go through with it because the blowback for the last couple days is you're going to make him a fucking martyr, they, they, who knows, I could go home today, or whatever, forget it, I can't tell you what day it is, because I don't even know, anyways, we'll move on, Stormy Skies, I guess we're staying on, Stormy Daniels, well, there she is, still holding up pretty well, although that was a picture from sophomore year in high school.

Stormy Daniels has beefed up security over a series of death threats for her role in former President Donald Trump's expected arrest. Oh, Donald. Expected arrest while also gloating about a spike in orders for X-rated pics and her merchandise. I just got ordered

a Stormy Daniels, you know what, cookware set. Spatula shaped like a penis handle. It's terrific. Dallas? Next on Nick's Pitching Kitchen. That's right.

Next time you see me, I'll be stirring a jumbo with a black cock. Oh, help me. Imagine that. Anything that involves Trump, the numbers go up, the ratings go up, your merchandise goes up. Daniels, whose real name, again, is Stephanie Clifford, has also beefed up her personal security. Yeah.

Hired Michael Moore and his fat sister. No, personal security, Brewster said, without revealing specifics for fear of helping those out to get her. Oh, for the love of God, will you stop? Since Trump's warning of his expected arrest, the porn star has responded to a number of people who have sent hate-filled messages on Twitter. Well, you did realize you hung out with Michael Avenatti, right? I know, I mean, you did porn, you know. Not exactly what conservatives enjoy.

I don't hold it against you. I watch that shit around the loops. So anyways, she's been getting hate-filled messages on Twitter, including many since she deleted her account or whatever the fuck. You listening? Yeah. Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that?

You got that? That was Jared Kushner leaving her a message. Others have called her a worthless whore. You're confusing her with Nancy Pelosi. Is that worthless? I'm sure it was airbrushed and shit, but do you realize after Avenatti fucking tried to screw her over, she was back, you know, at the gold club picking up one dollar bills with her clan. What a life. Others have called her worthless whore, degenerate prostitute. Oh, stop. Girls have to dance. Girls just want to have fun. Didn't you hear the song? And they called her an extortionist. You know, that's the women that can

bend over and flip. Oh. Who should be in prison. Why should she be in prison? Because she's trying to blackmail the... By the way, I'm a Trump. You know, I like Trump, but I believe he did have an affair. But again, what they're trying to charge him with is all horseshit.

It seems to me lawyers on both sides are saying that right now. I'm confident he'll get off, both in court and internally. Trump, who has always denied cheating on ex-model wife Melania, 52, with the porn star, has taken to calling Daniels horse face. Oh, my God. That's not a bad face.

Again, I guarantee you that picture's at least 10 years old. If we saw her right now, she'd be eating a carrot, a sugar cube. She only refers to her alleged lover, meaning Trump, as tiny. Ooh, there's some bitterness there. My vagina's angry. It is. It's stretched out. It is. I mean, pissed off.

It's pissed off. Yeah. stretched out. I mean pissed off. It's pissed off. Yeah. However, as well as the threats, there has been a rise in demand for her merchandise, X-rated pics, according to a tweet late Monday from the now notorious porn star. That's where I feel bad for her. She has to let us know she's selling more. You're famous. Relax. Okay. Have we watched any movies with her? Oh, we can't. This is a G-rated show, you motherless fucks. Had so many orders come in today. She said, I had so many orders come in today. I'm not even mad about having to go to the post office twice.

office twice. Daniels wrote alongside, black bags seemingly full of merchandise. And she said, usually the black bags I have are resting on my nose at 3 in the morning after I'm coked up, including calendars, racy signed images, and clothing with hashtag teen stormy on it. I might buy something. But it has to be, I was going to say signed by her.

There has to be a skid mark in there. That's like a, that's an authenticity thing. Anybody gross like me? I'm just kidding. I disrespect sex workers. I guarantee she was touched by an uncle, not an angel, when she was a kid. One of my best jokes ever, and I've said it on the show before, I'll say it again, it's worth repeating. When I read a thing, I think I gave it to Gutfeld, did I give it to Gutfeld? Or did I do it on stage? Nine out of ten strippers had been sexually accosted when they were young and i

said that's why nine out of ten of them are named destiny fucking brilliant run donald run we're staying on the blonde haired guy despite predicting he will be arrested on tuesday former president donald trump has not actually been indicted yet. Maybe this is the left one, left one. But that hasn't stopped people from imagining what it would be like if Trump were to be arrested with the power of artificial intelligence image generators. That's not what they're going to arrest him with. That's how that was written. This guy or this person is using the AI intelligence generators to show you guys visually what it would look like. I got a kick out when you sent me that.

I was like, what happened? I thought I missed something. But isn't this a terrific time to be alive? Sure it is. Boy, is this great. a terrific time to be alive? Sure it is. Oh boy, is this great! One Twitter user, Elliot Higgins,

used MidJourney V5, that's the one I use to make myself look like a bodybuilder on Grindr to see what it would look like if Trump were to resist arrest only to be taken down

by a plethora of police officers, as we say in New York. In his viral Twitter thread, Higgins used AI to generate fake images of Trump's arrest, his family's reactions, and his arraignment. Let's take a look at that. That looks, again, folks, they have technology that'll make that, you can't even tell.

That's almost like a, and that's not bad. Right there, he looks like he's breaking tackles. Here he, here he looks like, you know, the New York Jets quarterback. Look at, so that's pretty fucking accurate, isn't it? The cops surrounding him. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. That's my favorite.

He breaks away into open field, running to daylight. I ran a 4.240. Nobody believes me. One of the fastest guys at Wharton Business School. That's a great, I like that, don't you? That's what it would look like. And if you listen to the libs on the left, this is what you saw there on January 6th, basically.

That's pretty damn good, man. They're probably already using this shit to fool us. Although some of the photos look particularly cartoonish. I didn't see anything that cartoonish. That's a good one, too. I bet you he's framing these. If he becomes president again, he should put those in the Oval Office. Although some of them look particularly cartoonish,

some people found a few of the images to be lifelike. Several people questioned whether or not a few of the images were real because they came across so realistically. Yeah, those are real, but you didn't hear about it on the news. You stupid motherfucker. Although some people noted that the fingers on the Infinite Dude's images were slightly messy. Oh, excuse us.

Jesus Christ. What was his fingers? Were we supposed to have the hand like the hamburger helper guy? Showing the image it was fake. Rumors have been swirling. What rumors? Online that a New York City grand jury is expected to indict Mr. Trump, like I said, as soon as whenever you watch this before that, for his involvement in hush money paid to Stormy Daniels in 2016. You're lying. They are.

And you're a piece of shit. This person who wrote this wants to be true. The rumors were perpetuated by Trump himself on Truth Social. They're not fucking rumors. He's supposed to be indicted, who claimed he would be arrested on Tuesday without any official guidance. He was the best guy around. Now, we taped the show a little ahead of time, so I don't know. Right now, he could be at Rikers beating up some MS-13. We don't know. At this point, clean as a whistle. But to anybody that knows the law and the Constitution,

everybody's laughing at this. I don't know what Alvin Bragg thinks he has. You know? Is this a surprise coming? It doesn't matter, Mr mr bragg and all you leftist scumbags even you if you arrest we all know it's political they don't want him to run again and just for the reason he said he's crushing people in the polls which sort of surprised me but those things change those were a snapshot this desantis hasn't been really cut loose yet. But I don't care. Like I said, I'll take either one. I almost feel owed to Trump because he did so much.

But I love DeSantis with his military background and what he's done to Florida. We can't, you know what I mean? Like I said, grab him. And my boy Vivek is my favorite. Ramaswamy. It's a delicious sandwich. That guy's brilliant. Indian fella. That would be a feather in the hat of

diversity if we're still playing, but he hates that shit. That's the thing. The Indian guy goes, I'm a fucking American. Then he goes, but I don't like that. Then he fucking ruins it. Anyways, let's move on to drive. Is it a drive-through or a drive-by? What, another gun? Hey, hey, hey. You sound like the... That was pretty good. I know exactly what

you're doing. A woman, well, we assume she's a woman. You don't know today, was arrested in Florida after allegedly brandishing a pistol at two McDonald's employees. Can you imagine risking your life? Yeah, working for 14 cents an hour, flipping burgers. That's what this country's turned into. And we all know, and I hate to sound racist, but we know, we have an idea. There's a certain segment that commits a lot of crime.

If you pull those statistics out, this country would be almost the safest. I'll say that a thousand times. I'm whispering. Like Joe Biden. We're going to raise taxes. Fucking jerk off. Allegedly brandishing a pistol at McDonald's employees at the drive-thru after she was told an item she asked for was not on the menu.

So that's a good reason to threaten somebody's life. How do you get to that point? And don't give me fucking slavery and blah, blah, blah. Okay? Something don't give me fucking slavery and blah, blah, blah. Okay? Something ain't right. The cops don't need to be reformed. The black culture, the black family needs to be reformed.

I swear to God, I could run on that alone and not get elected. But it's true. It's fucking true. It would be one thing if I report shit like this once every three months, but it's every week to the point where we probably don't report half of them. You ever hear of fucking conflict resolution? Any skills whatsoever? Jesus Christ. I don't even know. I'm hoping it's a black boy. Again taking that risk I could be wrong no I couldn't yeah pissed because you know her shit was according to Fox News I don't know, Quavi, maybe Korean? I don't know.

Quavi Young. 26 years old. Okay, she's 26 and she's this angry. She didn't get her fucking McNugget sauce. Made a second pass through a Cocoa, Florida drive-thru at Mickey fucking D's. According to the arrest affidavit, Young requested a meal which was not on the menu and eventually brandished a handgun while threatening the employee by saying she would push her shit back.

What does that mean? What the fuck does that even mean? I actually thought that maybe the girl on the drive-thru was taking a poopo and she was going to push it back manually. How does that? We have audio of her saying that. That's what folks say about this family I do. I have told you and told you that you can always tell a lady

about the way that she eats in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson. Mr. McDonald's? And he's got a field hand and gobble like a hog. That's all she had to say. After arguing with the drive-thru speaker, Young reportedly went to

the second drive-thru window, grabbing her gun and putting it in her lap, which reminds me, when I moved down here to Georgia after the second week, I bought a handgun. I put it on my lap and went through the drive-thru Chick-fil-A. I talk about it in my act just to see if anybody would compliment my gun

because they love it so much. They love it so much. The gun, let me clear my eyes. An M&P Shield handgun. Looks like a Glock. Handgun, yeah. Oh, with a drum style. I got the tuba one.

The 26-year-old was charged with the aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill. Why else would you take a gun out? What the fuck does that mean, to shoot a shamrock shake? Open carry of a weapon and driving with a suspended license. That reminds me, Dallas, I can bring my gun into Florida, right? My car? Yeah. I should know that. I get pulled over a week after I had it and I have my gun. He had to go in my car and take my gun for her. She was booked on $7,500 bond and eventually released. Oh, good.

Get her back into the population. You fat, nasty, black bitch. Early 2023 was particularly rough for fast food workers in February. In February 2023 in Altamont Springs, Florida, woman waved a loaded handgun at McDonald's drive-thru employees. The woman was reportedly upset by the fact that no one asked if she was using the McDonald's rewards program. I can't make this shit up.

As she believes she was entitled to a free cookie. So let me shoot somebody if I don't get my free cookie. That's below children's mentality. I don't want to hear about, black people love to say white people are the most violent ever, because we use violence to win a country, like every country's come about. You use it to kill a McDonald's or threaten because you didn't get a cookie. Big difference. You use it to kill a McDonald's or threaten because you didn't get a cookie. Big difference. Earlier that month, a 16-year-old was shot at a Wendy's in Lynn, Massachusetts.

I told you guys, I dated girls from Lynn. That is a scary fucking city. Always has been. While working in the drive-thru. The glass at the drive-thru window was pictured with multiple bullet holes. My God. What the hell's going on out here? Mr. Fisher, let me ask you a question. How could you miss four bullet holes like that?

I thought you were talking about Wendy's. What? No. What? Mama mia, papa dia. Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, can't believe my lion eyes. That's lion eyes.

Not like mayonnaise. Lion eyes. Two words. A mountain lion. I just love shit like this. I think I want to move to Colorado. A mountain lion clawed the head of a man. This isn't as bad.

The lady, didn't I do a story about the lady getting eaten by two great things? You guys feel like the world's coming apart? Nick, you watch too much news. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Anyways, a mountain lion clawed the guy ahead of a man who was in a hot tub. That'll make your erection go down.

With his wife and has evaded wildlife official. He's on the run. They put out an amber alert. He's on the run. They put out an Amber Alert. He's in a white Nissan Altima. Evaded wildlife officials who began searching for the animal after he clawed the guy's scalp. Scalp. That's scalp.

And something. The man was attacked at his rental home in Nothrop, Colorado, said officials from Colorado Parks and Wildlife CPW on Monday. The two people involved in this incident were not identified by the officials. Well, maybe you made it up. How the fuck do I know that this even happened? Maybe you made it up. How the fuck do I know that this even happened? How do I know if this isn't a CGI or a AI or a deep fake or a silly putty drawing?

Look at that cat. I'd let it claw my balls. It's so cute. By the way, remember that author, Claude Balls? What was that joke as a kid? Something attacked by a tiger, by Claude Ball. Anyway, look at that. Look at the tongue of that thing.

That would fit nicely right between my nipples. Who's with me? Okay, my ass. The man had felt, this is terrible. Can't wait for this day to be over. I'm going to shoot myself in the fucking mouth. The man had felt something grab his head. I'm not talking about the one that was underwater, he said, offending anybody with a vagina, said CPW spokesperson Bill Vaughan in a statement.

Oh, Bill Vaughan, he's very good. He's good. But this tiger was looking for trouble, man. Put him up. Put him up. He and his wife began screaming and splashing water at the animal. Oh, cut it out, bitch. It's a kitty.

The panic wife soon grabbed a flashlight, because you always have those in a hot tub. Right next to the toaster. And the fucking... She grabbed the flashlight. Apparently, I didn't know this. Tigers are afraid of flashlights. What the fuck? Yeah, she grabbed the flashlight.

And then she did some, you know what, sign language, telling the cat to fuck off. She grabbed the flashlight to scare off the mountain lion. The animal soon retreated. Mr. Vargren said the couple continued to scream at the lion like bitches. No, that's what you got to do. You got to make loud noises. But why do I have this feeling if I went, ah, this thing would fucking take that as a threat and rip my eyes out, pull a vein out of my neck and run away. Very happy.

Anyways, the couple continued to scream at the lion, which then moved to the top of a nearby hill, eyeing them the rest of the night with a scowl. The couple went inside their rental and cleaned the man's wounds. That's a euphemism. Hey, honey, you gonna clean my wound tonight? The fucking cat interrupted the first cleaning. We think it's likely the mountain lion saw the man's head move in the darkness at ground level, but didn't recognize the people in the hot tub. Didn't recognize them from what? A family reunion a year ago? Sean Shepard, a CPW area wildlife.

Isn't that funny? He's a shepherd and he works with animals. Wildlife manager based in Salida said in a statement. Why do they put that in an article? Said it in a statement, did he? He didn't say it in a fish tank? You fucking assholes. The couple did the right thing by making noise

and shining a light on the lion's sack. The man suffered four scratches to the top of his head near his right ear. What the fuck? I suffered that during good sex. Why are we even doing the story. He, however, declined any additional medical

assistance because he said, That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. Anyways, before I go, I want to give one last shout out to our newest patrons and contributors and all the patrons

who made this show possible these last few years. As you know, we're making a big change. Our last show, for the good, by the way, to use exposure, our last show on Patreon will be March 30th. You know I'm learning as you guys are learning? That's how attached I am to my show. Then you can watch it over at Rumble starting April 10th. Again, please don't cancel your Patreon subscription and sign up for Mug Club until you get a special link from me.

If you paid annually at Patreon, we can't prorate a refund for you if you cancel now. So stay put. Okay, that's pretty clear. Thank you to Tiny Tom Thompson, Vincent Primavera, and Nicholas Burnt And. It just says and. That's Paul Sagnella, of course,

Sean Powell, Shirley Caldwell, Chris, my boy CB, Wade Sabatini, Thomas Olhowski for making contributions to the show. Again, we can't thank you enough for the last few years, what you've done. And the show's only going to grow. And we're going to have a fucking ball the next few years. I might die of exhaustion, but that's none of your business. My wife will be very happy.

She'll take over the show. And you should see the rack on that woman. That's it, you guys. Thank it. I'll say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. See you back here when? I don't know. I'm going on vacation. But no, we'll

run shows next week because that's what we do here. All right. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music