The Nick DiPaolo Show - Election Interference By Google | Nick Di Paolo Show #1604

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump in MN, Google's interference, Jill's olympic take and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

["Sweet Home Alone"] War and Peace. I thought it was the book I opened up. It's photo albums from my wedding. Warm peace. I read it all this weekend. Still undecided. Would I like better? Got to be honest with you. We are Americans. I think we've proven that we, you know, it's got nothing to do with that anyways. It's about a Russian guy in jail. No, that's crime and punishment.

Son of a bitch. Trying to sound intelligent. It's your first mistake. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, that's crime and punishment. Son of a bitch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha How are you folks? Great to be with you and uh... Balls on this prick. Hey, you're gonna start already with me. Take it easy. Take it easy! Uh, what is it, Monday? Jesus Christ. Plug in that, get that gig coming up soon. Right? Jacksonville, August 9th, I'll plug it later on. The next night, Duluth, Georgia the 10th.

Um, please snatch up tickets. You know, good size venues. Not huge, but nice. Nice venues. Hope to see if they are, and top of my head, UFC, Mohammed Balal Mohammed, Mohammed Balal, Balal Mohammed. Anyways, he beat Leon Edwards who hadn't lost in about nine years, I believe, in Britain in front of Leon Edwards' own people. Once again, you don't bet against these guys that look like they were on the flight that hit the towers.

They're very good at this. Only this guy's from Chicago. And again, he looks like a poster boy for terrorism, but he sounds whiter than you and I he's like yeah I fucked him up It's really it's weird. Oh great fighter though. I Can't I you guys must be watching it. I gotta believe if you're football fans you're watching this shit Even even the prelims are great fights people getting kicked in the head and going down like they were shot

you don't see that everywhere except for New York City, Chicago LA and Any other blue run city, but yeah amazing goes into his backyard and takes the belt from him pretty damn cool Those are some bad, but I'm a thug Another guy in the middle of fight Excuse me Another guy in the middle of the fight, excuse me, kicked the guy and his big toe fucking popped out a joint and he reached down and he was trying to put it back. The rest of the fight it was sticking up. Oh, tremendous.

And there's something about a girl sitting on another girl's chest and pounding her face that makes me hard. I don't know why. Reminds me of a dating game. Anyways, what the fuck are you talking about? What else? That's about it. Oh, there was a girl's like pro football league on TV.

On like ESPN plus or something. First I went, I was watching it going Jesus these guys are slow American football or gay football no I'm American the Boston Renegades versus st. Louis slam or something and it's so fucking it's I don't want to yeah I do I don't give a shit it looks like when you watch little kids trying to imitate adults you know I mean that's one sport UFC you can right because you can kick and throw punches but football doesn't translate the first play I see a girl makes a nice run she breaks like three tackles and

then they stand her up some little blonde chick comes in With like pigtails like Heidi and pulls the ball away and runs the other way 80 yards for a touch Just wait to the trans get a hold of that that's what I'm Dallas that's right where I was going with it What have I been saying on the show? I've been dying for a league like this for a trans woman meaning a guy To get in there. This sport would highlight how unequal that would be. Like I said, I picture a guy who puts his hair in a bun, puts lipstick on, but he's 6'4", 250, runs about a 4'4", 40, and he's running over Hooters waitresses on the way

to the end zone paralyzing fucking teachers and flight attendants I Can't wait I can't I hope the transgender please you're fucking up all the other girls what's don't stop at football This might even be cool. They can cheap shot you and everything anyways Enough bluster. Hey, maybe I should turn this on. How long have I been doing the show? Oh, about five years. Come on, there you go. Anyways, let's get to it.

Loud and St. Cloud. As the presidential campaign enters a critical final 100 day stretch, that's scary, isn't it? 100 days isn't shit. Republican nominee, Trump and his running mate, JDance here's me one cigarette all weekend rallied supporters on Saturday in a state that hasn't backed a GOP candidate for the White House since in 1972 I am your voice voice. Bang! What? The rally in St. Cloud, Minnesota was designed as a sign of the campaign's

bullishness about its prospects across the Midwest, particularly when President Joe Biden was showing signs of weakness ahead of his decision to exit the campaign. Trump, who won Michigan and Wisconsin in 2016, only to lose them. I doubt it four years later has Increasingly focused on Minnesota as a state where he'd like to what the fuck happened to the great steak Steak or state of Minnesota What the go jump in those thousand legs? Land o' lakes wait, that's butter. I'm all fucked up

Anyways, what that's the myth. That's the heart of the country wait that's butter I'm all fucked up anyways what that's the myth that's the heart of the country for Christ's sake now it's like little Mogadishu downtown anyways he focused on Minnesota as a state where he'd like to put Democrats on defense I will show you a clip of Trump speaking and he's kind of low-energy here he's probably been speaking for 90 minutes I don't know and then JD Vance comes on and hits, I would say a bottom of the night, two out grand slam. Speaking of that, Yankees took two or three

of the Red Sox that family. Fuck you. Roll the tape. Yeah, good to see you, Freda. Kamala Harris's deadly destruction of America's borders is completely and totally disqualifying for her to be president. You can't have a person like this as president. Hey, pick up the energy, Biden. No person who deliberately releases these kinds of savage criminals to prey on our youth and our people, not just youth.

Elderly people, too, are tremendous, should ever be trusted with power. Again, she has no clue. She has no clue. She's evil. And I'd like to ask the Vice President, what has she done to question my loyalty to this country? I served in the United States Marine Corps. I went to Iraq for this country. What did your running mate do? I built a business for this country. And my running mate took a bullet for this country.

So my question to Kamala Harris is what the hell have you done to question our loyalty to the United States of America? It's freedom baby, yeah Boy that was a grand slam wasn't it? baby yeah boy that was a grand slam wasn't it yeah trump spoke for more than an hour and a half to chair and crowds holding signs supporting police i'm glad he's not a comedian because he'd go over the red light fucking we'd all be going come on man uh crowds holding signs supporting police and calling for the deportation of migrants in the country illegally migrants in the country illegally. Migrants in the country illegally.

Why don't you analyze that statement? And again, this is from the New York Post or whatever, who is already fucking poisoned with their own news corp, which is Fox News. I mean, they own the Post, which is, you can see, the left is new shit bleeding in. He continued a pattern of escalating attacks against Harris on immigration and crime. He called her a crazy liberal.

Oh my God, that's filthy. How about a twat? And accused her of wanting to defund the police while he said by contrast, he wants to overfund the police. He knows right where to, doesn't he? I'm going to pay him way too much way too much a Marmusa I had that at a cafe in Tel Aviv have you had the arm Marmusa a spokesman for the Harris campaign it's a gay Arab a gay rab as Dallas said called Trump's attack line a desperate lie from a desperate campaign. Oh

My god, they are working overtime folks over time to lie to you a Desperate campaign a lot of desperate campaigns fill an arena in two seconds also the desperate campaign that's putting out fucking talking points to You know campaign that's putting out fucking talking points to re you know frame her whole border thing yeah oh yeah they're deleting shit they're deleting shit she said during this and that you guys I'm gonna say it again quit treating them like they're a legitimate political party treat them like the fucking enemy that they are start with with the language. Call them

something else. If you refer to them every time as a criminal enterprise, Trump's good at branding. He'll get more creative, goddammit. I'd call them a bunch of fucking douchebags, but you can't say that on Hannity. No, no. Called Trump's attack a desperate lie, blah, blah. That can't change the fact that its candidate has been convicted of mouthful felony. See, that's how you know they have nothing, because they know that that's bullshit. But they're counting on you fucking assholes, not you guys, but your friends who vote Democrat, the useful idiots who

don't care what happens in a country, convicted. Anybody see the trial? He's winning every battle in court, by the way. I mean, whatever. So that's not even in the news. But yeah, they're the desperate campaign. By the way, we're not even talking about him getting assassinated. That still fucking amazes me how quick that story. I mean, people are doing the research and the background so it'll all come out. But I just want you to reverse the races again. Somebody took a shot at Obama. Think about that.

Just fucking think about it. And an Obama supporter died. I want you to think about that for a second. It would be over. Well, first of all, the country would burn down or whatever. Once again, the adults will handle it the way it should be handled. But the lies are coming fast and furious, folks. Headline, today, I'm not even doing a story on it.

They knew 90 minutes before Trump spoke about this kid. 90, not an hour, not 30, 90. And they have proof of it. And Ray comes out and fucking lies. Still says I think it might be shrapplin' not a bo- Help me Jesus oh Lord. It's time to gather loved ones together for all the holidays best spread. Lins has great prices on all your favorite Thanksgiving items. From delicious turkey with all the fixings to mashed potatoes and yummy pies. We have everything you need

to create your perfect Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it's cooking the traditional meal, completely store bought, or a combination of both, your best holiday meal starts here. Learn more and start shopping today at LensGrocery.com. Lens, where delicious begins. Anyways, let's move on to more corrupt poopoo. More big tech bias. Google users searching for the attempted assassination of former Trump, President Trump, were miffed when the desired results

failed to populate on the search engine. Can you fucking imagine? You put assassination of Donald Can you fucking imagine? You put assassination of Donald... It fucking... you have to spell it out the whole thing or it fills in. I did it. It filled in. Well, I don't know if I'm using Google. It said assassination of Trotsky. I stopped at TR. It said Trotsky. Instead the website autocomplete feature omitted the results of the july 13th shooting can you fuck oh my drawing criticism from social media users who

accused the big tech giant of trying to influence the presidential election do you think do you think I keep coming back to Obama, and I brought this up last. Remember the guy that put on a rodeo mask early in Obama's first term? Fucking guy, rodeo clown put on a, I said a rodeo mask, an Obama mask. Remember that? And he got fucking canned immediately. He was just, it was a talking point for three weeks. Screenshots from Google instead showed recommended search results of the failed assassination of Ronnie Reagan.

Well, that stung like a son of a bitch. Mommy, I'm hit. I just hope this surgeon's a Republican. He actually said that before he went under. Okay, that's us. He's joking about it. Trump stands up and says, mother's box of course I'm paraphrasing in the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand holy shit yeah that

was in the early what 1970s the fuck it what was that 12 AD whose death sparked World War one well there you go in the 30s the shooting of Bob Marley yes I put that right up there with the shooting of Lincoln and Kennedy and I get news for you for people who didn't like reggae it wasn't a bad big deal for me I didn't want him to die but somebody should have killed Karen Carpenter when they had a chance but she killed herself remember that she starved herself had a great joke about it. I said, the speakers I bought, this is when I first started comedy, are so good, I was listening to a Carpenter's album, you can hear Karen's stomach growling. I thought it was genius.

Ah, shut it. Shooting of Bob Marley in the failed attempt on former president Gerald Ford. That was by Squeaky From I believe. Like literally a Manson follower. It's just so ridiculous! It really is. Even the key words Trump assassination attempt yielded no additional terms from Google according to users. You know what's so funny? They're so...the word ubiquitous I guess, you know, Google is, they run the world for Christ's sake. So when they lie, they lie to the world.

It's like magnifying. Everybody goes on Google search and Big Tech is trying to interfere in the election again to help Kamala Harris. Donald Trump Jr. wrote on X. We gotta get him back I think we all know this is intentional election interference from Google truly despicable that's what Don jr. said a Google spokesperson told Fox business to go fuck your sister I don't like that type of talk said Don jr. no a Google spokesperson told Fox business there was no manual action taken on these predictions. Our systems have protections against autocomplete predictions associated with political violence. Yes, I'm sure if somebody took a shot at Kamala or Biden, it would be doing the same thing. Is

that what you want us to believe? You Indian piece of shit. Whoever runs Google, I'm going on a branch that he loves curry that's stereotypical I know I say shit like that all the time it bothers people associative political violence which were working as intended prior to this horrific event oh yeah I can hear the sincerity in his voice occurring the spokesman said we're working on improvements to ensure our systems are more up-to-date it's that That's equivalent of Biden going, there's still more to do. In other words, you haven't done shit yet. Following this terrible act, that wasn't a terrible act, whoopie Goldberg and ghosts,

that was a terrible act. Following this terrible act, people turned to Google to find high quality information. We connected them with helpful results and will continue to do so. Yeah, if you wanted to know about Ford's assassination attempt. Yeah. Yeah. Bug ass. I just picture, I watch MMA and they get the people down and they come with the elbows and they do this like a knife.

They go across and it opens and it just you got a vagina on your forehead and it's on the rag what a brutal sport it is so you wonder why people are just by the way you know what time that remember we showed a clip of Dana why getting attacked on a subway in London a sub remember he was on his back kicking do you remember that that few weeks ago after he had announced that the fights were gonna start at three in the morning Manchester time. That's what they were. I mean we got to watch them obviously at a decent time but that's why there were people going to the UFC match at three in the morning. That's when it started. Hey I

like Dana White. He's like fuck you America's gonna watch it when they get Anyways, let's let's move on to more make me a sandwich make me a fucking sign Well, the tone my mother said I don't like the tone of your voice and I said I don't like yours either Now make me that sandwich bitch What hey in our shut up and make me a sandwich tonight first lady Jill Dr. Jill Biden that was flipper with a cold first lady Jill Biden praised the Paris Olympics controversial opening ceremony as have you watched this AIDS filled event when did those Olympic rings turn into assholes of transgender guys?

Jill Biden praised the Paris Olympics controversial opening ceremony as spectacular after it received backlash for offending Christians with a drag queen depiction of Jesus. I don't know who he is. Oh Jesus is last supper Did I hit did you hear that folks a transgender guy doing Jesus last supper You fucking who exactly Jill yeah, that's it go home get my dinner ready There's Jill getting ready for her next job interview after they're out of the White House

is Jill getting ready for her next job interview after they're out of the White House. Let's take a look. This is the opening of the Olympics. It just even for me you're like, what a weird time. The West. I keep saying this isn't there. Isn't there a happy medium between like people who think like Isis and people who think like you know the transgender community or whatever the far well they've both gone so far they're almost one in the

same now well yes you you have transgender people saying you know fags for Gaza and shit I mean gay people saying fags for Gaza They don't say fags say fucking assholes, but no I know it's but they've always been there You know, I mean what the fuck you can't even meet a little Let's take a look at this really disgusting open the opening You got a hand to the balls on these left. So Europe is so far gone left-wise and shit You know, I don't think it would hurt if Russia moved in there What you heard me give him a little Putin

Have some fag bad mouth him in the paper They'll find him in a YMCA with his asshole split open like a fucking Cantaloupe. What kind of talk is that it's good talk let's watch the tape That's the Last Supper, only... You fucking whore! Oh! Watch your fat fucking mouth! What did I say? Do you believe that?

I'm just gonna say, obviously, but try doing that with Islam. Why didn't you open with that one? If I remember correctly, there were some horrible attacks in Paris. In Paris? Where's your balls? Not too many balls, huh? open with that one if I remember correctly there's some horrible attacks in France in Paris where's your balls not too many balls huh so right now I'd have to say the the terrorists the you know people the barbaric people who still think it's 12 a.d. they're winning they're winning right disgusting Dallas fucking disgusting Jill said the rain did not dampen our spirits but my husband's urine did every step of the way I was thinking to myself oh my god oh my god how are we gonna stop this you're right how we gonna top this I said stop I was thinking what I

was thinking oh my god how we gonna stop in your sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it how we gonna top this I don't know why do you have Pete Buttigieg lick his husband's asshole while he's holding the torch I hope this what yeah no I'm right right on the money I was gonna go right to it guys who cocaine for those of you on mug club right now stick around for the second half of this delicious show everyone else go to Nick dip calm and sign up to get my full show Steven Crowder's full show in a whole lot more

please do that because Mug Club that Stevens Network basically reaches millions upon millions and It's fucking huge While you're there also click on the tour button as you see right there, and this is coming fast I gotta start doing sit-ups and shit August 9th Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts that just sounds fancy Jacksonville Florida that's a Friday night the next night the next night August 10th gas South Theater Duluth Georgia mmm can't wait. Hope to see you guys out there. Anyways, second half of the show also, we'll do a little more on the woke Olympics

and how it might be the worst thing ever. Excuse me. And also in London, there's a play, it has to do with race. Is it London? I don't know. Somewhere over there. And you can only imagine.

It's an anti-white, obviously an anti-white story. And according to the critics, oh, there's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's just reverse racism. And you people are so self-hating white, and you've lost your souls and your culture. And what happened to England? It's an island, though, right?

So why don't we call all the fucking white Anglo-Saxon families and go, look, give them a date in September. You've got to get out of there by then. Why? Never mind. And then we take care of it nice. What do you mean, Nick? All right, we'll wait till Trump gets it. We'll push it to January 2025.

And then it's an island. You get my drift? All right. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall

I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching!