The Nick DiPaolo Show - Estee...er, uh.."Kamala Harris" | Nick Di Paolo Show #1609

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Brits have had enough, Tulsi flagged, Chinese robots and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

It's time to gather loved ones together for all the holidays' best spread. Lins has great prices on all your favorite Thanksgiving items. From delicious turkey with all the fixings, to mashed potatoes and yummy pies, we have everything you need to create your perfect Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it's cooking the traditional meal, completely store-bought, or a combination of both, your best holiday meal starts here. Learn more and start shopping today at lindsgrocery.com. LINDS, WHERE DELICIOUS BEGINS. Mr. DePaulo, no one can be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to

be disliked. Boy, did he figure me out. The late great Bob Newhart. I'm telling you, younger people, I like you because you found good music, your generation the last 25 years been dogshit but you found great music you can find great TV to watch Bob Newhart Barney Miller shows like that so odd couple you'll be addicted to them there's so much funnier oh that's just you being old shut the fuck up I'm a comedian I know what I'm talking about I can sweet-talk an audience that's what they tell me I learned it from Wayne Newton when he's on the rag oh hey on the show today

ladies and gentlemen that's right the new nominee for the Democrat Party Vice President dummy Kamala Harris will be joining me at the end of the show for a little interview. Let's start the show shall we? White Brits have had enough. So you guys probably know what's going on maybe you don't that there's a little bit of a it looks like a civil war has officially kicked off in Britain. Remember that's just an island not really many places you can run and hide right? That's's how I see it. And it kicked off right in Liverpool, a city that I've actually been to. When I did the Manchester Comedy Festival, I took a train out to Liverpool to see where the Beatles played in some cave fucking thing and I was bored out of my tits. No, it was

pretty amazing actually. It's a working class hard time, you know, city. Anyways, I was trying to find an article that wasn't biased. Just by the headlines, every headline for this story was far right extremists, far right extremists, far right thugs, blaming them on this little Civil War that has kicked off. You all right, Dale? Oh, I thought something broke. Every headline.

So I went with Yahoo News because it was no different on the other ones that you think are neutral. Let me get into your article and give you the background so because you're not going to get it from anywhere else. A black man beaten by a mob, an Asian man stabbed at a train station, in mosque under siege. Just some of the horrifying racist incidents, again this is Yahoo News, carried out by far right thugs in England this week. The country has been engulfed by racist riots over the past few days

in the wake of the killings of three young girls in Southport on Monday. Just their description makes me sick. And finally Whitey has had it. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore riots in cities including Liverpool Leeds and Belfast descended into the chaos over the weekend with far-right thugs oh they say it again they hate that when it's applied to black people multiple incidents ethnic minorities attacked on the streets blah blah blah

false claims had spread online that the self-force suspect later identified 17 year old Axel Ruda Kaboana from Lancashire was a Muslim asylum seeker who had arrived in the UK by boat. This is the kid who was 17 who ran into a, it was like a Taylor Swift, not a concert, it was little girls, a dance party type thing. He stabbed three of them to death and stabbed, I don't know how many other that were in critical condition. Okay, so then a rumor started that he was an immigrant and stabbed I don't know how many other that were in critical condition okay so

then a rumor started that he was an immigrant Feshov okay that's all fine and good but that's not the point don't pretend what's going on here is they're pretending that this all all this tension and all this kickback from far right thugs is about this one event and not what's been going on in England for the last 20 years as their neighborhoods have been taken over I just I'll name one incident off the top of my head the fucking remember the Muslim not the Muslim the British soldier was just walking down the sidewalk and this Muslim guy cut his throat we talked about it on the show

probably before you were here. That's just one incident. Do you know how many women have been raped in England by Muslims and all the other horse shit, all the other killings and stuff? They don't mention that. The news is pretending that it's just about this one incident. Even if he isn't Even if he isn't somebody that just came over an immigrant or an illegal immigrant on the boat

Even if that's not the case you guys talk about it like it all started at that incident You're all saying that this hasn't been bubbling over Because the UK because the white man has literally no fucking spine giving away their country and guess what these working-class dudes have had enough three little girls stabbed to death I found it refreshing watching this footage let's take a look scenes of violent clashes between far right protesters and police a number of whose officers were injured when they had things like that. Far-right protest, I never hear far left. Do you ever hear anybody in this country or there? You think we're politically correct and socialist? This fucking England is gone, it's been gone forever. Bill Hicks went over there 30 years ago came back saying that and he was a

lefty as far as how socialist it was. They have just cut the balls off. And again the elites whoever you want to blame it on the people that want a global society. Anyways here's what took place. Like bricks and bottles thrown at them. They were also violent scenes when anti-racist protestors. Anti-rac anti racist protesters showed up against far right extremists, anti racist protesters. That's what they call, by the way, there were mobs. I didn't have the, I couldn't find the clips, but you can find them online. Hundreds upon hundreds of Muslims dressed in black attacking white people this weekend. That's why I'm calling it a civil war.

But these fucking cowards, the fucking media, these cowards, the way they frame this is why we are where we are in this country, as far as race goes. Been cherry picking story for years, ignoring black and brown crime on white. And this is what it's led us to. It's finally kicked off in England coming to a theater near you if shit doesn't change here. Go ahead. Far right protesters

managed to get to one another for the most part they were kept apart by police officers. We also saw vehicles being set on fire. There are also reports of looting in some instances as well. reports of looting in some instances as well. It would have been 40 times worse over here if Trump died. I'm hoping. I've been thinking about that one forever because it's like white people don't... We should have rioted anyways. Of what's gone on so far about trying to arrest him and shit. What's it gonna take? That might have done it. But these people have been dealing with this shit the year, working class people. The government has sold them out like you wouldn't friggin' believe.

Unfriggin' real. They have all the no-go zones where just nobody can go into unless you're Muslim. Yeah, and that's been going on forever over there. You can't go in your own country neighborhood. Wow, this democracy work. And they pretend this incident is, you hear how they describe him far-right extremists verse anti-racist protesters you fucking scumbags that's how it's been described over here for years too finally thank God black people over here

have waken up to the Democrat Party been using them but alas I don't know how many years and finally woken up and see that Trump's not the bad guy or Republicans. How can you blame those people? At least show some fight if you're going to go down. Anyways, oh, you can't say that you can't condone it. Shut the fuck up. Wait till it's your fucking girl or somebody in your neighborhood. Listen to this article. Again, this is Yahoo News. None of them are any better.

Sparked by Islamophobic and racist sentiments, rioters have pelted bricks, chairs, and bottles at offices. Moss have been attacked, shops looted, and numerous community facilities across the country, including a library and citizen advice bureau building, have been torched in the violence. Ooh, ooh. Started by Islamophobia.

Is that what started it, really? Or was it the last 15, 20 years of whites being victims to this horse shit? You fucking cowards. We might have to move this to the second half of the show. I'm serious. This ain't, it might not make it. We have to think about that.

Because God forbid somebody spoke the truth about something like this. And you're not going to get it on, and trust me, Fox won't touch this either. They'll sit around going. Oh far right thugs Anyways, I had to talk about it made me sick Let's move on to some more

This one shocked me almost as much Tulsi gab at a terrorist Well, who's saying that in an exclusive breaking story? several federal air marshal In an exclusive breaking story, several federal air marshals, whistleblowers, have come forward with the information showing that former US representative and presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard is currently enrolled in the Quiet Skies program. Quiet Skies is a TS surveillance program with its own compartmentalized, suspected, you believe this, terrorist watch list. You fucking believe this?

You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. She's only a veteran. See, she's getting punished for leaving the Dem Party and calling for it there. It is the same program being weaponized against January 6 defendants and their families. Quiet Skies is allegedly used to protect traveling Americans from suspected domestic terrorists. The photo below is a screenshot from the actual target package

used by the fams to surveil Gabbard. Look at that. Yeah. Can you imagine? They even put an American flag behind it. You choose that one. Can you imagine? The whistleblowers first shared the information with Sonia Labosco, the executive director of the Air Marshall National Council, a national advocacy group for the federal air marshals. That's FAM. According to Labosco, at least one of the whistleblowers is ready to go on the record

with pertinent documentation labasco that gabbert is unaware she is to explosive detection canine teams one transportation security specialist explosives one playing close to essay supervisor in three federal air marshals on every flight she boards. How fucking insulting. Why, boy, it's all out in the open, man. It is all out in the open. I thought it would be all in the open after they tried to kill Trump. Labosco has attempted to contact Gabbard and her staff, but has not received a response yet. They're probably calling lawyers beforehand.

I don't know. But I'm sure you're going to get a response. But they do that. They say, and they do it for the January 6 people, and other people who are like known conservatives. I said to Dallas, I know I'm not that famous, but I was on a list out of Harvard as a alt-right comedian. All you have to do is fly with a Trump hat on and I'm sure they make a mark for the next

time you fly. Can you can you fucking imagine especially now with Biden's let in everybody from I don't know how many terrorist countries on our terrorist watch list but we're gonna monitor the January 6 people in Tulsi Gabbard. How much more do you need to know how much your fucking government hates your guts. Thank God for whistleblowers. If they stay alive, you know how that can go. Unbelievable. Let's move on.

Speaking of foreign adversaries and terrorists and made in China, like everything, advanced Chinese-made robots with eerily lifelike capabilities are poised to enter the global market and some U.S. lawmakers are already demanding that they be banned in the United States. I've been saying that about their lawn furniture. They were selling toys to kids over here with the fucking date rape drug in them Look, I love how they put like cute girls faces on the robots. That'll snap your neck Don't want to be sexist. They can't all be male

That'll be my fantasy having a supermodel robot spanking me While not yet widely publicized various chinese companies have begun producing humanoid robots that are capable of carrying boxes moving at high speeds and even replicating human facial expressions and giving you chlamydia goodnight everybody one leading chinese firm unitary robotics that's chinese

has developed a ninety thousand000 robot capable of running at speeds of up to 11 miles an hour I saw one at that what's that store the vibrating chair in the mall sharper image Brooke stones or yeah I'm a sharper image yeah or Brookstone absolutely look at that fucker a cheaper version it goes from 90 to 16 thousand Jesus is the one what's the 16,000 just a head no limbs a cheaper $16,000 version it's like an IKEA can absorb punches and kicks and twirl a baton in case a fucking parades coming up.

Let's take a look at these things in action. This is me getting up this morning with my bad back. I pinched a nerve. That's how I had to get up, and I'm not kidding you. Hey. Put them up, put them up. Hey, it looked like the assassin. Hey. Hey, it looked like the assassin. Hey! That guy's got good balance. This guy throws like he takes it up the ass.

I'm not a faggot. That's the black version. Whoa! What the fuck? Dallas, that's good. Oh, I said the entire thing, didn't I? Yeah, my bad. I didn't see that! I know, that's why it's good.

I might throw a wig on that thing tonight. Fuckin' get a candid... DW-40, whatever the fuck they call it. Holy moly! Kinda cool, of frightening anyways I forgot to play this during the UK riot things Jacob Helberg back to the Chinese a member of the influential US-China economic security review commission who played a key role in convincing Congress Jacob Helberg, back to the Chinese, a member of the influential U.S.-China Economic Security

Review Commission who played a key role in convincing Congress to pass a law this spring to force a sale or ban of TikTok is one of the loudest voices won in Congress that it risks disaster if it allows the sale of robots made by firms beholden to Beijing. Helberg said advancements in humanoid technology have occurred mind-bogglingly fast. I think we're 12 months away from a chat GPT moment where the world goes from being asleep to awake on the issue, he added. I don't know why he gets that.

We're asleep at the switch. As they become more advanced the Chinese Communist Party or state-sponsored bad actors could use the robots currently marketed as harmless home assistance and super efficient assembly line workers to wreak havoc by spying, sabotaging critical infrastructure or in the most nightmarish scenarios even physically harming Americans. They do that with a chicken and broccoli No, but seriously they have so much shit over here now Whether it's tick-tock collecting information on where you live you have no idea

Even some of the surveillance cameras we use are made in China I mean folks I I don't know anyways I order one day put a hit on my wife not funny Nick they can strangle someone in their sleep now I'm getting one in this. That's me asleep in the white center there. Hey, it's 1 o'clock! They can punch a data center and inflict physical harm and destruction of property. Did I read that right? Punch a data center? What the fuck does that mean?

Smack an Asian kid? The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. Oh, you gotta throw that one up Dallas in a clip somewhere. Anyhow, folks, hey, second half of the show, for those of you on Mug Club, right, stick around for the second half of the show. You can watch me a little more out of control, a little more raw. The first half we tried to tone it down.

I'm sure you could tell by the UK piece. Everyone else go to nickdip.com, join to get my full show and Stephen Crowder's full show and a whole lot more. And while you're there, click on the tour button date. You'll see this Friday night, August 9th, Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts in Jacksonville, Florida. The next night, August 10th, I will be at the Gas South Theater in Duluth, Georgia. Hope to see you guys out there.

Second half of the show, we're going to have some fun at my own expense. I think you'll enjoy this. Wanted to lighten it up. Going to show you a clip of me my second year in comedy, maybe 24 months in, maybe. You're going to get a kick out of it. I have a greasy mullet.

I don't know how this fucker got up on YouTube But I stumbled over it. I was fainted And you'll see we'll have fun with it. I'll pause it and make comments and also The best part of the show Kamala Harris will be joining us For the last segment of the show unless we move her and I'm serious about the first segment I did we might have to look at that. I might not say the year Dallas will discuss Anyways, that's what's coming up in the second half of the show I feel bad for you people who are not gonna see it

Hi. Good night, everybody I'm gonna be the one to fall Wow! It's time to gather loved ones together for all the holidays' best spread. Linz has great prices on all your favorite Thanksgiving items. From delicious turkey with all the fixings to mashed potatoes and yummy pies, we have everything you need to create your perfect Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it's cooking the traditional meal, completely store-bought, or a combination of both, your best holiday meal starts here. Learn more and start shopping today at LensGrocery.com. Lens, where delicious begins.