The Nick DiPaolo Show - Fake Video by Fake President | Nick Di Paolo Show #508

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

Did Biden use a green screen in his most recent appearance? Lawmakers take Raffensperger to task. Georgia man murders multiple in massage parlor massacre.

🎵 Oh yeah, welcome to the show on a Wednesday. Happy St. Patrick's Day, ladies and gentlemen. I would never say that normally. I'm from Boston. I used to laugh at my Irish friends. What a dumb holiday. And then my sister did an ancestry and me thing on me. And it turns out I'm more Irish and English than I am Italian by 1%.

I have been depressed ever since, I'll tell you. No, I'm kidding. All my fucking Irish friends, what I went to high school with, everybody in Massachusetts back then was Irish and Italian. Like half of each or, you know, 100% of each. And Bob Murphy, my best friend growing up, he got class clown and he's still,

the guy was, he could have been Letterman before Letterman, I've talked about him on the show. It's one of the reasons I got into stand-up comedy. He's the one who suggested we go to Stitches on a hot summer night just to check out Steve Sweeney. And that's what planted the seed. So Bobby Murphy, he's so smart. He worked at a think tank for a while. And he was a class clown.

Fucking brilliant. Anyway, so in this town of Savannah, Georgia, St. Patrick's Day, they have the biggest parade here other than New York City. And of course, because of COVID, they canceled it months ago. But there's still people pouring in. But I was shocked when I got down. I had no idea that the Irish had some hookup with Savannah. I'd look into it, but that requires a lot of reading. And my wife reads literally four books a week since we moved here. She could tell you what kind of architecture is downtown and what restaurant. I sit there going, King and Queens, why isn't this coming in?

DBR's fucked up. Anyways, that is that. I hope everybody's talking about this first story and if they're not it's just then we will just accept it politics is bullshit it's all a play being played out but

this has to make you wonder did you see the video of Joe Biden our president walking to where was he going the helicopter or the bathroom what Marine one yeah he's looking for a portal party probably but they said marine one anyways many twitter pundits are sounding the alarm about a video of joe biden briefly speaking to the press before boarding marine one earlier today biden who appeared flummoxed

one earlier today. Biden, who appeared flummoxed, really, while briefly answering questions, appears to phase through a microphone when his hand, it says when his hands, when his hands. These are the actual articles, folks, which are in focus, somehow jut in front of a seemingly out of focus microphone. It looks so weird. I'm no expert here, but you don't have to be on the Warren Commission to say, what the fuck? Additionally, Biden's hands appear much smaller than the microphone. And to me, it seems clear it's a deep fake or something. And like I'm saying, this should be huge news. Maybe it is. I'm here at work. I don't

know. But check out how weird this is. Keep your eye on his right hand. What? Look, it's melting into the microphone. That is not some type of trickery. Yes, it is. First of all, you never come that close. First of all, Mr. Six Feet Stay Away, Six Feet Apart fucking social distancing is really touching their microphones. Look, his hand sinking into it like it's cheesecake. This is clearly doctored. Is it not? And yesterday we showed that supposed speech he gave in the Rose Garden. Remember? And the guy was looking at it live and then went in his apartment and Joe Biden was on TV in the Rose Garden and he looks out his window at the Rose guy nobody anybody fucking bringing this up is anybody do it again see if we can do that again travel to the southern border not at the moment what in god's name hello guys can you point me to marine one look at that look at that come on anybody and then when they showed uh biden this footage after he said this we'll do it live okay we'll do it live fuck it

uh anyways i don't know why the whole world isn't talking in the video biden declares he has no plans to visit the southern border. You know why? It's too dangerous. He might end up moving to Mexico by accident. Amid the largest migrant crisis the country has seen in over 10 years, approximately approximately eight seconds into the clip, Biden's in focus hands somehow cross in front of a much larger microphone that is seemingly held by a member of the media. The microphone appears out of focus in the clip. And of course, Biden, you know, he doesn't want to talk to these fucking people without his handlers.

I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. Wow, he's got a heavy New York accent. Anyways, look at that. I mean, come on. Son of a whore! The Three Stooges had more realistic effects.

Please tell me this is a story other than here on my great show and call me as in a few other... And Jason broke it down. He looked at it from nine different angles and it says it looks even weirder. If that's a word. Who's the guy in the back in the black, all dressed in black, coming up to slap Joe in the

ass? Do you guys know this? I'm not going to say this because it's a good premise for my standup and somebody will rip it off. I call him the Cyrano de Bergerac president. You'll get that if you read a little bit. Anyways, he said he wasn't going to the border. Is that what he said? He had no plans to. Meanwhile, it's a fucking, it is an outright cry. And they're calling the facilities that they're putting kids in. And by the way, they're separating.

They're calling the facilities when Trump was doing it, they were cages. Now they're facilities. They don't say the word cage. Same structures. doing it they were cages now they're facilities they don't say the word same structures how crooked is there anything you guys on the left tell the truth about honestly you motherless fucks god i hate you oh come on nick i know i shouldn't get this upset because the whole world's run by 10 guys like i said half of them gay that meet meet the bilderberg hotel every fucking few years and plan out our future i actually believe that but i gotta make a living too this is grape by the way how black of me anyway so he's not going

to maybe he's not going to the uh border because of the next story. Yuma, Arizona, Ben Bergwam from Real America's Voice, he tweeted, Yuma, Arizona, he finds condoms, lube, and kids' clothes dumped on American soil right before these, he says monsters, turn themselves in to border patrol, Democrats say supporting open borders is compassionate. And he says, tell that to the kids that are being sold by cartels and raped with an exclamation point. Once again, Trump was right about all this. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists.

And some, I assume, are good people. Take a look at this video of the shit this guy found on the border all these papers documentation documentation Rigo Aquillo

Figueroa no Figueroa Fiores aquilio figarillo no figaroa honduras look at all this they tried to rip it up and hide it and then along with it kids socks it. Kids socks. Condoms. Condoms. Condoms. Lubrication. And more ripped up documents. Kid's shirt. Looks like my backyard. Looks like a sweater. All right, you get the idea.

And you like condoms and lube. I know Central South Americans like to reproduce, but I don't think that would be the first thing in their mind is they're trying to get to America, meaning I got to believe that was done. I'm just speculating. Without. And somebody probably was right. I mean, he's a cartel guys bringing them over. You know what I mean? There's no couple that said we have to fuck right here. I don't think I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. If that's the case, it would more fuck than I realize. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's no crisis by the way it's a challenge at the border

that's the word now challenge it's a challenge now the challenge is Biden trying to take his pants off and finding a bedroom in the White House that's a challenge a lot of news today right out of here right here

in the Georgia area. A lot of news, not all that good. Georgia Secretary of State, Raffensperger, now in hot water. Okay. After lying about recording President Trump and numerous other allegations about election integrity in Georgia, Brad Raffensperger is facing anger from many. What else is Raffsenberger hiding in the dark, we ask? He's just, you can't trust this fucker. You're a crumb creep. No doubt

about it. He was less than honest about President Trump, and he secretly recorded Trump, which is illegal in many, many places. The guy is clearly scheming 24-7. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? Who records people on their phone without their consent? Who even thinks to do that? Well, Raffsenberger. Could it be that Raffsenberger, Berger or Perger, it's a fucking dumb name. Let's call him Ratface, has an agenda. Could this agenda be funded by the kindness and graces of some 503c non-profit organization somewhere the washington examiner reported former georgia state rep vernon jones called on georgia's secretary of state to resign this guy used to be a democrat now he's a republican can you blame him he's saying he'd want the guy to step down.

Following Raffensperger misquoting Trump, remember, on the phone call with a top state investigator about alleged election fraud? We brought that to you yesterday. I didn't know it was him, Secretary of State, that was in on it. state that was in on it. It has now been uncovered that the Georgia secretary of states released a deceptively edited recording of the president in attempt to embarrass him and mislead the public. He should resign immediately, Jones tweeted Monday of Secretary of State Brad Raffsenberger. Georgians deserve better, and I'm one of them. And so is Jason and Rich Wood. Just those three guys alone. Reports circulated in January that on December 23rd phone call, Trump told Frances Watson, we did this yesterday,

but I'm going to go over it again, Georgia's chief investigator of the Secretary of State's office, he said that Trump said, find the fraud, and that if she did, she'd be a national hero. Media outlets such as the Washington Post were forced to issue corrections after the Wall Street Journal, of course, published audio of the call Thursday, which contained no such quotes.

Is he a Republican? He is, isn't he, Rapsenberger? Yeah, he's a Republican, folks. And you wonder why we lost, which we really didn't. Even with scumbags like that getting in the way, Trump still got all those votes. And if I hear one more person say otherwise, I'm going to ask you to get off my porch. Huh? Why? Why?

Let's stay here in Georgia. we're making all kinds of news again what did i say to you guys about when the election was over i said it's all going to trickle out well it's trickling it's not trickling it's come out in a fire hose fulton county about to be exposed for november 3rd fraud great. Judge Amiro just ordered a conditional grant of the motion to unseal the Fulton County ballots. That's actually great news. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. That was Trump's response. Judge wanted a specific judge as special master. wanted a specific judge as special master. I guess the special master was going to be this guy Bonifor who's not available for 45 days for no reason. He picked him. He had six other names he could

have picked from. So that's kind of weird. Anyways, that was from attorney Ringer of Fulton County. Attorney Ringer from Fulton County, attorney Ringer from Fulton County, objected to content of election fraud, affidavits being disclosed, doesn't want any of the story to come out. Judge wanted operation plan and obvious delay tactic by the judge. Sounds like he's already in the tank. Seven business days for each side, and he's slow walking the whole thing, which to me smells a little funny, but he is issuing the, you know, he's listening to the plaintiff. He also essentially imposed a gag order. Again, sneaky. Thank you. Another noteworthy exchange between the judge and plaintiff attorney Chaley. He's the good guy. The judge asked if Chaley had

exhausted other means of discovery and why access to the ballots were needed. Chaley replied. What did he reply? That's faggot stuff. Yeah, that didn't go all the good. You want a court by its name? That's strictly for fags. And they threw out the case. No. Chaley replied it's similar to contract law. You have to have the original document. No copy is allowed. And you can't just rely on testimony about it. In this case, the ballots and the metadata are the evidence that requires close examination and that he would present witnesses to testify they saw ballots produced by a copier with no

human markings. That's when the judge shifted to requiring written plans, explaining every step and identifying every person who would be participating in this case and having hearings on the plans, thus increasing the time required and cost to get a ruling out of him. So does he sound impartial? But he is going forward with it maybe he's just doing that i bet you he gets instructions on high i bet you all the judges that land and they go look uh you judge whatever amaro you're gonna pretend you play along for a while because we can't have all the judges just throwing this shit out we have to make it look this how cynical i am i swear to fucking god why is he you know he had six judges to choose from oh my aching stem huh what a day in georgia should have bought that condo in fucking denver

i'm not kidding i fucking i would never do that i fucking love it here so much wait till i get my pickup truck, folks, and start chewing fucking, you know what? Garrett Leafs. Is that what it's called? Garrett Chew. I don't know. University of Maine. Used to put the leaves in.

Like the old ball players. You got that big wad. You felt like a man. Then you threw up. In private. Let's stay here in the state of georgia why because i don't know top national stories are coming out of here today uh religious nut shoots shoots up massage parlor this reminded me of when furio was on the sopranos when he first

came over from sicily as a button man or whatever. And his first assignment was going to a fucking Korean owned massage parlor. And the guy and the wife that ran it owed Tony money. And he went in there with a bat and just started fucking busting the place up, smacking women across the face, shoots the guy in the knee

on his desk. It was so goddamn. Tony's out front in the truck going like this. Just looking. Anyone, this is real life, and this isn't funny for a lot of people. The 21-year-old man suspected of killing eight people. Eight. That's a mass murder.

Six of them Asian women at three Metro Atlanta massage parlors professed a passion for guns in God, according to a report. But I don't know. Robert Aaron Long is his name, of Woodstock, Georgia. Doesn't look crazy. Ay-yi-yi. That beard's a tip-off right there, that fucking Amish terrorist slash chin strap. Was arrested without incident Tuesday night about 150 miles south of Atlanta and charged with murder.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution Report. Information about Long is sparse, but the Daily Beast reported that a tagline on an Instagram account that appeared to belong to the suspect but was no longer active Wednesday morning said, pizza, guns, drums, music, family, and God. First of all, don't even give him a test whether he's sane or not, because he is. He's got pizza first.

Sorry. He's not nuts. That's where I put it. I put pizza. I had a pussy, music, football, which I love. I used to do a bit of my three favorite things, I think, were pizza, air conditioning, and tits. I'm not kidding you. It's on one of my albums.

Anyways, yeah, pizza, guns, drums, music, family, and God. He says, this pretty much sums up my life. It's a pretty good life. A student who graduated from Sequoia High School with Long in 2017, told the news outlet on condition of anonymity, he was very innocent-seeming and wouldn't even cuss. Yeah, never trust anybody that wouldn't cuss. Somebody said that in a movie. I can't think of it right now.

Let's hear from the sheriffs who busted him. At approximately 8 o'clock this evening, Crisp County Sheriff's deputies, along with Georgia State Patrol troopers out of Post 30, Cordill, received information that a murder suspect out of North Georgia was getting close to entering our county. Troopers and deputies set up along the interstate and made contact with the suspect at about 8.30 p.m. Georgia State Patrol troopers performed the pit maneuver, which caused the vehicle to spin out of control. The subject was taken into custody without incident at mile marker 93 in Crisp County and transported to the Crisp County Jail. You know, we take that for granted, too.

How'd you like to get that call? Yeah, we got a reporting of eight people dead. Go find this guy. Okay, I'll get my jacket on right away. First, let me finish this bowl of Cheerios. Are you shitting me? A 2018 video, excuse me, on the Crabapple First Baptist Church's Facebook page

features Long discussing his Christian journey towards baptism according to the Daily Beast. So again, heavily religious guy, which means the left-wing media is going to have a field day. They'll have him as Trump's vice president by the time this week is over, I'm sure. But he's very fucking religious, which can be scary sometimes, you know?

I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. Then he's here, baby. It's the latest 17th century. It's one of those guys. Authorities said Long is the suspect in the shootings at Young's Asian Massage Parlor in Cherokee County that left four people dead and one person injured in two more shootings in northeast Atlanta that

resulted in four more deaths Jesus Christ you go in for a hand job and you've I bet you the wives of the victims like good fucking I knew. He wasn't going to the supermarket. I'm only kidding, folks. The victims whose names have not yet been released include six Asian women. Oh boy, here we go. A white woman and a white man, officials. South Korea's Ministry of Foreign Affairs said Wednesday that four people of Korean descent

were among those killed, according to the Korea Herald, which I get every morning. It does appear that it's the same suspect, Captain Jay Baker of the Cherokee's sheriff office told the newspaper, adding that surveillance images indicate that Long is the suspect in all three of the shootings. Jesus H, you're fucking crazy. Police stressed it was too early to cite motive in the bloodbath but the attack don't worry the media will do that for you the mainstream media

but the attacks come amid a wave of targeted violence against asian america you had to make that connection right the guy's clearly fucking nuts it's a massage parlor. Do you know who they're run by? I would, I'm going to help you out here, left-wing nutcases. Even, and you'll jump on this too, but that's not a racist thing. He's disgusted with people who go to massage parlors because he's a religious nut, I'm guessing. I would think it's more of a wacky religious thing, which doesn't make it any better. But I'm just saying, I can't wait to get home and read the headlines. Trump, former campaign manager. You know, they'll fucking lie about it. Anyway. Hey, folks, my bookie, you know, they're one of the sponsors of the show.

And we are brought to you by my bookie today, which is a great site if you're into betting sports and marches here. And that could only mean one thing, the biggest college basketball tournament around. And MyBookie is the way to get in on the action. There's no doubt about it. Like I said, I get some friends that really love to gamble, and they say this site makes it easier than any other site. The time has come to shoot your shot. Score big on the nonstop action with my bookies bracket contest. It's your chance to win $10,000 in cash prizes. How? Select winners from 63 tournament games, 63 tournament games, only a dollar to enter. It doesn't matter whether you're filling out multiple brackets,

betting the national championship winner, or simply looking for a player and game props my bookie has you covered excuse me sign up today at my bookie.ag and use promo code nick dip to secure a deposit bonus up to one thousand dollars that's promo code nick dip to claim your first deposit bonus and not all the sites do that and uh you're in heaven if you're a gambler and you love sports uh you'll be sitting at this site forever college ball nba in nhl no matter the sport no matter the minute from tip off to buzzer my bookie puts the action in your hands with in game live betting but anything anytime anywhere with my bookie. And we thank them for sponsoring this show. And like I said, my friends love that site.

I used to gamble. I used to call a guy in Revere, Massachusetts and meeting him at a Dunkin' Donuts to pay him every week, crying when I had no money. With my buddy Al, by the way, who he knew what he was doing. I'd like to thank one-time contributors to the show. Remember, that's how this show stays on the air. Please spread the word. Ron Raymond, New Jersey. Sean Powell, Florida.

Paul Sagnella, Connecticut. Duncan Blownuts, Florida. Sell Nick a cook aprons. Oh, he's telling me to sell Nick a cook aprons. Arizona. The guys that give me marching orders. William Keller, Michigan. Rich Grybos, Wisconsin.

Joseph Safar, Georgia. New monthly supporters. Jeremiah LaJoy. Todd Russell of Virginia. David Cover, Michigan. James Elder, Canada. Dave and Diddy, California, Robert Simmons, Illinois, Kenneth forest, Connecticut. Thank you guys all for signing up, uh, as monthly subscribers. When you do that, you guys get an extra story. Nobody else gets.

And, um, you are the lifeblood of the show. So anyways, back to Washington, D.C. And I hope you guys watch the news. Excuse me one second. This is doing it, but. It's starting to back up all the vape. Washington, D.C., as you know, has been guarded like a third world banana republic by the military. Shit you see in real dumps. U.S. Capitol Police, though, maybe a little bit of a good sign, but I didn't get that excited. U.S. Capitol Police to remove,

begin removing Capitol fencing, saying no known credible threats. Can I just say this? Police, U.S. Capitol, I know you're doing your jobs or whatever, but there's been no known credible threats since January 6th. None. It's all been based on horseshit. Nancy Pelosi, 80-year-old woman paranoia.

I'm glad whoever charged the Capitol on the 6th put the fear of death in these fucking people it's all a ruse it's a signal telling you you're the threat meanwhile people are pouring in unchecked from third world shitholes in Texas and California

but we're the threat to the Capitol you know they busted three terrorists from Yemen at the border last night on a terror list. Nice going, Biden. United States Capitol Police will reduce the security perimeter erected after the breach of the Capitol, having determined that, and this is quotes, there does not exist a known credible threat against Congress. And like I said, yeah, that's been the case for months.

According to a security memo sent to u.s lawmakers on monday over the course of this week acting house sergeant at arms timothy blodgett said security officials will begin repositioning in a perimeter fencing closer to the capitol to allow some pedestrians access to the grounds you know they're worrying like somebody's gonna be pounding on the door you know fucking trying to get into Pelosi's office. With the music. The complex has been surrounded by the seven-foot black metal fences topped with razor wire since just after January 6th riot,

in which hundreds of, it says, supporters of Trump. We don't even know that. And by the way, I'm going to repeat this again. Do you know nobody had a gun? Nobody was armed. Did you know the guy that was supposedly killed with a fire extinguisher? Do you know that's not true either? Yet CNN ran with it, MSNBC, like it was fucking fact.

Why do you people keep voting Democrat? NBC like it was fucking fact? Why do you people keep voting Democrat? And I know the other side lies too, but not fucking as much. Supporters of Trump, yeah, I'm sure they were, or George Soros, violently stormed the Capitol to try to disrupt

the certification of the Electoral College. Yeah, they were not fucking... You're fucking crazy. I am not. I'm just stating the facts. God damn it. You're lying. And you're fucking crazy i am not i'm just stating the facts god damn it you're lying and you're a piece of shit talking about him not me blodgett's memo said that while the capitol police and the national guard will maintain their increased security posture he expects the national guard to ease its presence at the complex in the next coming weeks. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

As you should, because this is not Guatemala or fucking Venezuela, although that's the goal of the Democrat Party, and they're well on their way to making that happen. Can you imagine? They still say the real threat is from white supremacy. Can I ask you jerk-offs who vote for Biden, people like you, do you ever go watch your TV and believe whatever you want to believe on MSNBC and then go out your door and take note? Or watch TV and go, wait a minute, I haven't seen a white supremacist ever.

Wouldn't they have come out by now? Do you ever do that? Do you take stock of what you believe in? Suck it. The announcement follows weeks of complaints by lawmakers from both parties who said the fencing made the Capitol complex look like a prison complex.

It sure fucking did. I thought I was watching a... Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. What's the prison show, Jason?

Lock-up. I told you I stayed up. I was so obsessed with lock-up a few years ago. And I had already seen them all. I watched a lock-up marathon. It started at, I don't know, like 9 at night. I was still watching them at 6 in the morning. I learned how to fucking make a razor out of my toothbrush.

Terrific. I can make osso bucco in a toilet too. So they say it looks like a prison complex while locking out the public and closing down roads that are vital to commuters and emergency services. I'm glad it took you months and months to fucking realize that. DC officials and Capitol Hill residents

had also decried the fence's intrusion into the neighborhoods and city life. Blodgett's memo said, inner perimeter fencing will be repositioned to encircle Capitol Square between Independence and Constitution Avenues and First Street Northwest and Northeast. That's pretty, isn't't it does that even look like

america uh late next week the memo said work crews and this is people this is a handful of people who charge the capitol i still don't i i'm not sure it wasn't a fucking false flag but anyways uh they charged the capitol none of them had guns and four trump supporters get killed but we're the danger uh work crews will begin removing the outer perimeter fencing, open independence and constitution abs to traffic again. But the whole thing is just. Yes, but when you have Pelosi in charge. i keep having these arguments with people and i agree with part of their argument they go this is all good the left is showing how crazy they are and they're going to hang themselves and i said

yes in a perfect world that would happen but i said let me ask you this all the laws they're trying to pass now which they're going to pass because they control all the chambers, they're codifying shit, illegal stuff like how they stole the election. And what makes you think come the midterms, they're not going to do the same thing? Anybody? No matter how bad this country gets. And that's when a revolution happened. You know, folks, let's be honest.

We've been lucky for a couple hundred years. But read your history. France, Russia, Newark, Buffalo. I mean, it's been some real shit. Speak of revolutionaries. I don't know about you, but I like Ozzy Osbourne, and I like his wife, Sharon, Sharon even more because she was crazy enough to put him on the straight and narrow.

This boy, she's as crazy as Ozzy. Sharon Osbourne, she's in hot water. She called co-hosts supposedly slanty eyes, wanton, and pussy licker. Coho's supposedly slanty eyes, wanton, and pussy licker. According to a woman who I love, Leah Remini, which disappoints me. A nice Italian girl being a little bit of a rat here. But she's probably pissed because she was on the talk at one point. And battled the talk, Coho, Sharon Osbourne, called former colleague Julie Chen. Oh, this is obviously more anti-Asian because of the whole COVID thing, right? She called Julie Chen

slanty eyes and lesbian actress Sarah Gilbert a pussy licker. Can somebody explain where those, either statement is false. Maybe not proper. And an explosive new report. Oh, God help us. God help us, huh? We're shitting out of the news. new report oh god help us god help us huh we're shitting out of here during the cbs show's first season osborne lashed out at her then co-host because she was angry that chen was reportedly trying to take center stage and gilbert also executive producer was doing nothing about it so this is an ex-colleague actress leah remedy told journalist

yashar ali so uh she was getting into it with julie chen who's very cute by the way i kill you i kill you right now kill me i'm right here kill me okay i come with two chopsticks i shove up your ass oh sharon that was come over here talk to me in the face that was her prank calling julie chen Look at some booty. That was her prank calling Julie Chen. But now here's a quote from Sharon Osbourne. I mean, who the fuck does slanty eyes think she is? Oh my God, that's horrible.

She shouldn't be pillow talking with our boss, Remini recalled. Osbourne saying at one point during the morning show's first season, referring to Chen and her husband, Les Moonves, who was at the head of CBS at the time. Remember, he got busted for all kinds of sexual harassment. Well married to her. Osbourne allegedly added of Gilbert, why won't the pussy licker do anything about the wonton?

The pussy licker do anything about the wonton. And why won't the fish eater, she said, be part of this? Isn't that the fish eater? Now, who's that? Is that a lesbian reference or Asians? They love their fish. I'm very confused. She's the fucking executive producer is what she said. Remini claimed that Osborne also trashed Holly Robinson-Pete

even before the show's season kicked off with a 21 Jump Street star as a co-host in 2010. Remini alleged Osbourne told her at a lunch about how she had previously appeared with Robinson-Pete on the Celebrity Apprentice 3 show and Holly wasn't a good person, not to trust her, and that we should find another black person who is funny. Osbourne is currently locked in a war

of words with Robinson Pete, who accused her over the weekend of saying she was too ghetto for the show, a claim Sharon has vehemently denied. Remini, who appeared on the first season of the talk, alleged that Osbourne also would refer to Remini as a wop and a guinea, two slurs for Italian people. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Why does this make me love Sharon Osbourne huh why because you're racist you just like them you look hey they're words babies are dying of cancer today shut the fuck up as the great Bill

Hicks said take a look around the world you live in and shut your hole Osbourne's publicist Howard Bragman told page six in a statement, the only thing worse than a disgruntled former employee is a disgruntled former talk show host. I think they're talking about, you know, for 11 years, Sharon has been kind, collegial, and friendly with her hosts as evidenced by

throwing them parties, inviting them to her home in the UK, and other gestures of kindness to many, too many to name, he says. Well, maybe you do that to cover your race's eye. Hey, you chinks and pussy lickers, come to my house. Set up a sushi bar and you'll both be happy. Sharon, this is her manager talking, is disappointed but unfazed

and hardly surprised by the lies the recasting of history and the bitterness coming out of uh i guess leah remini at this point i don't really believe that leah remini i mean she's done bigger things than i'm on her side sorry no i'm not what am i saying i think i like sharon osborne by the way watch the first first couple of seasons of King of Queens. Hottest fucking wife on a show ever. Unbelievable. Everybody's feuding, folks. Don't you feel the country's unraveling? I really do. Political, showbiz, culture, whatever the fuck. Here we go. This is this is great no more political angst in the world

this is the death threat a reporter left on a congressman's uh home phone this was like a new jersey i think wasn't it and uh the guy leaving the threat on the politician's phone is a journalist journalist. A fucking journalist. So we're going to play... Is this more on number one? Yeah. Put more on number two on the phone. Listen to this. 3-0-3-D-M Mr. Van Drew,

this is John McCall. I live in Ocean City. I have been a member of the New Jersey Press Association since 1982. You once appeared at my house years ago, and I complimented you on the fact that you were one of the few politicians who had ever actually spoken to us directly, and I have supported you ever since. Since your betrayal of our party and your treasonous loyalty to the worst degenerate who has ever occupied the presidency in United States history. I can only say that I would swear to your demise as a politician.

And I believe that you personally are degenerate. As a member of the New Jersey Press Association, I will do everything in my power to ensure that you are deposed, if not dead. Anything I can do to basically get you out of office, I will do. You are a traitor, Jeff Andrew, and you deserve the fate of all traitors. I like how he says he wants him dead. And then it should have ended there, because I think that would be the...

But he goes on, you're a traitor. Yeah, I got that message when you said you want to be dead. How creepy. That's a guy, typical northeast New Jersey. He's in the media, a columnist in New Jersey. This is how the left thinks, even the so-called sane ones. Even the so-called sane ones. The Ocean City Sentinel has recently been publishing articles threatening and harassing New York Jersey Rep.

Jeff Van Drew, who he used to be a Democrat. And, you know, when he switched Republican after the first attempted impeachment of Donald Trump. So that's why this guy's so pissed. The author of those articles, John McCall, recently left the death threat that we just played on Van Drew's home phone. And then I think Van Drew left one on called him back saying this. You listening? Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? So it's really getting heated up there in New Jersey.

Oh, boy. I like this guy. How'd you ever be a Democrat? You look at, oh, no, there's an Asian guy. Wouldn't that be funny? Five years, a year from now, we're going to find out that guy behind him is a Chinese spy. Anyways, don't threaten him. I'm telling you, New York, New Jersey jersey connecticut that mask to the northeast is just it needs to be thoroughly douched i won't be happy until new england is as fucking red as the

red socks hey nick nice one no that stunk anyways let's get back to more madness. People dividing us by race, color, mask, no mask. You tell me these people aren't crazy about the way of them. Can you imagine in Austin they're protesting? They want to. They were upset because somebody passed off saying you don't have to wear masks. Can you imagine? They're protesting that. Do you think the left has these people brainwashed enough?

Anyways, here's some more mask madness, as I call it. A four-year-old Arkansas boy with autism was booted from a Spirit Airlines flight on Monday for not wearing a mask, despite having a doctor's note that the airline had accepted on the flight to their destination. Can you fucking imagine some idiot flight attendant? Get the fuck off my plane. Yeah, get the fuck off of my plane. I will not. KTHTV spoke with Callie Kimball,

who told the outlet that her husband and son, Carter, were kicked off their return flight via Dallas after visiting families in Las Vegas. And some, it was some second female flight attendant. Jesus Christ. Carter's physician supplied them with a letter to carry while traveling that explains Carter is exempt from mass mandates because of his disability. According to Callie, when Carter wears a mask, he starts freaking out,

holds his breath and will harm himself, which is very typical autistic behavior. But no, the shitheads at Spared Airlines know better. Hey, little boy, do you want some candy? He said, how can I eat it with a mask on? Yeah, fuck, no. She said the Little Rock family has always, she said the Little Rock family. She said the Little Rock family, that's she said the Little Rock family. She said the Little Rock family, that's where they're from

in Arkansas. The Little Rock family, it's a mother and father made of little rocks and then the pebbles. She said the Little Rock family has always flown and spared airlines

and never had a problem until Monday when an employer of the airline informed them once they were boarded that autism's not a disability.

How about if he brought on an emotional support duck? It would have been fine, right? And he has to wear a mask while he has to get off the plane. Can you imagine making that call? You're not even the fucking president. Pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead assholes. The Kimbles had to pay, get this, $1,000 out of their own pocket to purchase a new ticket.

I wonder if they're apologizing today. This is a national story. Can you fucking imagine? By the way, this kid could kiss 100 old Chinese people in a nursing home and not get it at his age, if you want to know the truth. I'm telling you, my sister's ass is red right now. Speaking of asses and sisters, no. I don't know who this broad is. I TikTok, I don't know.

The kids are loving it. Jason, you on TikTok a lot? No, I'm going to get on it today. I TikTok. I don't know. The kids are loving it. Jason, you on TikTok a lot? No, I'm going to get on it today. I'm going to open an account. I'm just going to wear a bikini and everything I put up. Me cutting the grass. Apparently, that's how you get famous. You don't start a comedy club in the late 80s, work your way up, spend 30 years on the road, go through fucking hell.

No. If you're kind of cute, which I'm not anymore, and you're a hot broad, you do shit like this, young ladies. People are sitting on toilets backwards so they can eat while they poo. The life hack started with Aunt Amy Waugh. There she is, okay? Tell me pussy doesn't sell. Who encouraged her, Get this drum roll.

Eleven point six million followers to do 180 degree turn and face the flush, essentially pulling backwards. I've done that drunk, not on purpose. I thought I was at my desk so they could eat snacks. That's what I like to do. Huh? You drop in a log. Don't you enjoy eating Doritos and then wiping your ass and finishing the bag? I'll tell you. So they could eat snacks, stream a TV show at the same time. God forbid you get away from your fucking TV show. Take a look at this video and please explain. I hate to sound old,

but I get a feeling I would have felt this way if you showed me this 25 years ago. And again, I don't want to hear how tough it is to be a hot fucking woman. Check it out. old but I get a feeling I would have felt this way if you showed me this 25 years ago and again I don't want to hear how tough it is to be a hot fucking woman check it out this will change your life forever you have been pooping wrong what I want you to do is poop backwards get all of your favorite snacks get your favorite show and that's how you poop it's the best of all times and you just sit there pooping and you're jamming out. Oh, it's a snake. A budge, a budge, a budge. Wow, she's fucking hilarious. I can see why she has a bigger following than fucking, you know, Seinfeld.

Can you imagine if she was just a, let's say she was a five. She'd have eight followers and people would be going, you fucking retarded twat. You're not even funny. Eating backwards on the toilet. Come on, we've been doing that for years. Bon appetit. Anyways. What you just said

is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. I agree. Unfortunately for Amy, not everyone was on board. Oh no, she got resistance. Food and somebody said food shouldn't touch. Are these actual conversations on TikTok? Food shouldn't touch bathroom air, one person wrote. I refuse to let food in the bathroom. It's like adding the

odor onto it. Yeah, but sometimes it gives a nice little tang. Let's say you're eating American cheese and it doesn't have enough bite. That's gross, Nick. Unhygienic but okay, added someone else. A doctor even advised against it, writing, your show should be ended in five minutes. Otherwise, you'll have hemorrhoids, said Anthony Fauci. No. While most of her viewers were equally grossed out, E. coli has entered the chat, one quipped. Others weren't totally opposed to the idea. Somebody said, you realize the bathroom is the cleanest place in the house because you clean it with bleach too often? Another fucking person wrote who died three weeks later of dysentery.

A third asked the question that that everybody was thinking apparently how long do you guys sit on the toilet pretty good question isn't it it's a sick question you're a sick fucker i'm not that sick that i'm gonna answer it i gotta be honest with you i'm on the toilet you could serve me an appetizer. You know how you go to a restaurant? Appetizer, then you wait another 15 minutes for your meal, and then dessert and coffee. I'm on the toilet that long.

I got a lot of problems down there. I used to have roids. I had them removed. People have been following the show for a while. Don't ever do that. Even the doctor said, he goes, I'd say eight out of ten people have this done and said they'd never do it again. But I had hemorrhoids.

It looked like Napa Valley grapes. They were, now I'm all clean down there. It's beautiful. Wiping my ass is a pleasure. Oh, Nick, stop. No, I will not. I just showed a lady pooping backwards while she's eating ice cream. So anyways, if you think about giving amy's

life hack a go we advise against it unless you're willing to run the risk of e-coli infection it's possible to get one from drinking water eating foods that has been contaminated with feet okay she's not rubbing shit on the so keep the snacks out of the bathroom yeah you didn't have to tell me that. Alrighty then. She is a snack. Fucking eat her or my bathroom. Nick, what are you doing? Nothing. Finally tonight, let me show you something to make you feel better.

A lot of us feel like we're unlucky people and shit. Well, I don't know. You guys might have seen this. It happened a couple of days ago. Was it India, Jason in India? The best stories come out of India. All the best lightning stories come out of India.

I don't know. I don't know why. These guys, it was raining out for guys. I think it was. They hide under a tree because it's lightning out. Even I know as a kid, you don't do that. You don't do that, and you don't wrap your dick in tinfoil and get in a canoe.

I was told those two things by my dad. Apparently, he did that in the Marines. Anyways, take a look at this fucking footage of what not to do when it's lightning out. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore! Oh! Oh my God!

You're going to eat lightning, and you're going to drop thunder! That had to sting. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, All those trees they could have picked. That one was the biggest, fluffiest one, I guess. So did God do that, you religious people? You tell me. I don't know. Anyways, that is it for today, folks. I think we covered a lot of stuff. More election fraud. Joe Biden in a deep fake video, in my opinion. And, you know, eating

as you take a dump backwards. That is a full show. Happy St. Patrick's Day again. Drink and drive. I think that's fun. It's actually like a video game if you're really fucked up. What the hell else? Don't forget thecomicsgym.com the comics gym.com uh that is the permanent home for this i guess one of my my one of my videos we still use youtube to advertise

this show and one of the videos got flagged you see what they're doing to me and other people like me uh cameo.com if you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, I'll make a little video on my phone and send it to that person directly. Go to cameo.com. You tell me what to say. Click on my profile. That is it. You guys think it? You guys think it? I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here. I can't believe I'm going to say this Thursday, final day of the week tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. Have a good day. guitar solo We'll see you next time.