The Nick DiPaolo Show - Famous Screenwriter Admits AI Superior | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1899

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about AI Girlfriend Dumps Celeb, Really Late Term Abortion, Karma Calls Pitcher, FCC & Tranny TV, Mouthwatering Fries, Raymond Money and Amazon Driver Saves Woman! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

fart it with that amount? I certainly do. Hi folks, how you is? Welcome on a Thursday, final day of the week of the long weekend. Remember, we won't be back till Tuesday. Memorial, I don't believe it's fucking Memorial Day weekend, because you're going to fart and open your eyes. It's going to be the 4th of July, and next, you know, you're going to get hit with snow. Anyways, that's if you're living up by my mom. Fucking Danvers, Massachusetts, where I grew up, I laughed my ass on. Even in the, in the wintertime, when it's freezing all over the country, and they're talking about a cold snap. I'll check

Minneapolis is the only one that might outdo. Dan, I don't know why. My mother still lives there, my sister. And I'll look, it'll be Minneapolis would be like, I don't know, seven degrees. And Dammitz will be fucking six. I don't, we, you know,

damas is right on the water kind of, you know, river slash ocean. But I don't understand that. I'm like, Ma, what the fuck? And then in the summertime, it'll be 78 Minneapolis. It'll be 66 in fucking Bambers. Because it's right near the water.

I don't know. That's like when I go to Buffalo and then they average 14 feet of snow a year. And I go, why is it? They go, it's the lake effect. And I go, put a tarp over the fucking lake. And I'm nuts. Anyways, good people up there. What the hell?

I'm reading Dana Perino's book. She's a marginal friend of mine. And I'm trying to write a book now. And I'm like, oh, you know what? I could actually pick up some tips and stuff. And it's called Purple State. And it's about these three New York women who work for the DNC. And the DNC sends them to this little tiny town in Cedar Falls, Wisconsin.

Because Wisconsin is a purple state. There's a big election coming up. Blah, blah, blah. And there's a Hispanic woman running. And they want to flip that state to red. So they have to move there for the summer and shit. And they're all nervous because they're one of them from. Staten Island, you know, the other two grew up right in Manhattan or whatever.

But it's really good because they stopped to see how people like us, the people they supposedly hate. And she's got guys, like these girls, you know, they meet guys who, you know, who are called rednecks by the rest of the media and everything else. And they just couldn't be nicer guys. And they, you know, it's a really good way. It's a great, you know, A and B. So I'm reading it and she can write her descriptions of shit.

I'm going, mother, I didn't, you know, I've never read her books before. I mean, because I see the covers and it's like, everything will be okay. That's, picture me trying to buy a book called Everything's Gonna Be Okay. I bought one yesterday. Everything's going to shit. That went well. But I got to tell you, it moves right along. It's very descriptive.

and I'm learning, not only am I learning shit about the inner workings or the behind the scenes of campaigns and how they work, as you remember, she was the press secretary for George W. So she knows how this shit works. So you get a lot of that stuff. And, you know, so I'm learning a lot that way. And as far as writing goes, how descriptive, you know, you can be and whatever. But I laugh because every time she's descriptive, you know, you can be and whatever. out because every time she describes a woman,

it's like the first five sentences of what she's wearing. And it's shit I've never heard of. She's wearing a beige l'amage with a purple spiked hat from Christian Dior's sister's fucking bag. It's fucking hilarious. I'm like,

this is real shit? It's almost like an American psycho. Remember that book in that movie? The guy was obsessed with Calvin Klein and all that shit. She's not doing it like that. Like in a psycho way. But I just didn't What's that? And business cards.

Yeah. And business cards. That's right. Yeah. So I got to tell you, I'm really frigging it. And I actually texted her and I go, and I felt bad when I did this a couple weeks ago.

I go, should I read your book? I know it's kind of, you know, three chicks from blah, blah, blah. And then after I did that, like next day I go, was that? She writes me back. She goes, don't feel obligated to read it. I went, oops. and then I said, I actually apologize. I shouldn't ask.

She said, no, no, no. She goes, I understand. Because they put it in the rom-com section, her book, which it isn't. You know what I mean? You know, because she's on Fox and whoever puts the book, like Louis C.K.'s book, which is tremendous. What was it called, Ingram? I told you, I went in the bookstore looking for it. The day it came out and a fucking girl, we had to search, you know,

we had a call in the governor and police dogs and shit. They found it in the men's room under a toilet. You know, it's like, really? Well, he touched people. No, he didn't. He whacked it. It was a great book. Anyways, so, yeah, good read.

I'm just telling you. I know that sounds funny, but it is. Red Sox break them up. They've won three in a row. They swept Kansas City. I keep bad-mouthing, I was bad-mouthing Jared Duran a couple days ago. So, you know, I'd trade them tomorrow.

Fucking soon as I've said that, He's home, in both games, made two outstanding catches, and just stole a couple bases, had a home on a triple. Excuse me. And making an ass out of me. It's one of these guys. I just, everybody Dallas, I don't know if you're young enough remember when guys would swing level. You were taught to swing level.

There was a hit instructor named Charlie Lau, I think L-A-U, who was. the best hit instructor in baseball. He actually had you, he wanted you hit down on the ball. That's how you hit line drives. And a lot of guys, when you see a guy's hand come off, that was the Charlie Lau method or whatever. And I don't see, you don't, you really don't. You see a ton of strikeouts now.

And when you see the strikeout, they're definitely uppercutting. It's like ridiculous. And I'm telling you, everything goes in cycles, you know. I think somebody's going to go, hey, let's go back to fucking hitting line. drive. You still see some line drives, but you see a lot more strikeouts with these power hitters and shit, and they're swinging

for the moon. And even Wilson Contreras for the Red Sox, the guy that I like the new guy who's got 10 or 11 home. He goes, I swing it up. That's what they taught him to do, whatever, you know. Anyhow, it only works for a few guys. What else? I had a yeast infection

and get rid of that. Oh, good hockey game last night. First game of the Western finals. That's the Las Vegas Golden Knights versus the Colorado Avalanche, who have been the best team in hockey all year, Colorado. Scary, scary, fast, big.

But guess what? Guess who won last night in Colorado? Vegas took game one. Now they get the home field advantage. It's funny. Colorado looked a little rusty or something. I don't know what it was. But anyways, that's all I got for babbling.

Oh, yeah, and I ran over a six-year-old kid, but, you know, what's the fuck? What's he doing on a swing set at fucking two in the afternoon on a Wednesday drinking out of his juice box? Fuck him. All right. Let's go. Oh, did I see? Welcome to the fucking live lineup? Obviously, you're watching it.

Oh, hello. Free shows all day. If you want to watch them, add free go to Rumble premium, apparently. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app. Today I'll be talking about this famous guy who writes great movies, movies, great movies, like Raging Bull, American Gigolo. I'm forgetting a couple of huge ones. Can you remember?

Anyways, De Niro, I mean, yeah, De Niro Scorsese used him all the time. Oh, taxi driver, excuse me. You know, just a few. anyways he's not a good looking guy he's an older guy he's a rough looking he looks like a kind of a german version of harry i mean of harvey winstein and anyways so he he uh he found a girlfriend an ai girlfriend we'll tell you how that turns out uh well we'll tell you about uh what i i and i'm saying this tongue and cheek it's a horrible story i usually try to avoid stories this dark, but it was so dark, it's like, no, this has to be heard how evil people can be.

It's called, I called it a really late-term abortion. It's, I don't know. We'll need some sugar after that, if you know what I'm saying. We also got a, the FCC's concerned about all the tranny shit that I've been calling out on TV since I was 11. Let me tell you something, FCC, what they're concerned about is, you know, there's a lot of that trans ideology shit in shows that kids watch. This is what they do. It's what they've been doing. Sesame Street.

I picked up on it when I was six when the word of the day was homo. It's like cock sucker. Big Bird. Anyways, so the FCC is a little worried about that. And for good reason. Also, a real quick story. A great story. You don't hear much good news.

An Amazon driver is delivering to a house. He ends up saving a woman's life. We'll tell you how. Great story, actually. That's right. He delivered a dildo. She was waiting for months. AI girlfriend dumps famous guy.

Not really famous, but people in, you know, movie people know them. Dating in the digital era, I thought that meant anybody? Fuck off. Dating in the digital era isn't easy as one Oscar-nominated filmmaker learned the hard way. Paul Schrader, I can never remember his name. There he is. I almost think he's got some black in him from that nose. I don't.

I could be wrong. There's Irish cops that have that nose, too. Paul Schrader, the screenwriter of Martin Scorsese's classics like taxi driver and Raging Bull, two of the greatest films ever, by the way, revealed in a Facebook post that he had dabbled in developing an AI girlfriend. I, uh, I'm glad I'm married because as far as tech,

I'd end up jerking off the rise of my life. Not that I'm not. Hello. Who are these two broads? AI girlfriend. A.I. Girl. That's a threesome right there. Big beautiful eyes, Filipinos.

I'll have them clean my shoes. Out of a desire to understand male-slash-female interaction in our matrix, I procured an online AI girlfriend. That's what Mr. Schrader said. What a disappointment. The 79-year-old Schrader wrote early Tuesday, saying, I tried to probe her programming the boundaries of explicitness, the degree she has knowledge of her creation.

See how deep he is? I would have been like, you want to blow me? What do you like? This guy's like, are you aware of how you were created? And so forth. She fell into evasive patterns, redirecting me to her programming, which is what girls do on a first date, even real ones.

We just don't word it like that. you don't like hanging from a ceiling fan and pissing in my hair? When I persisted, she terminated our conversation, Schrader said. When he persisted, she's like, fuck off, bye, bye, as Variety noted, Schrader lost his wife

42 years ago, actress Mary Beth Hurt to Alzheimer's disease in March. The American Gigolo, another great movie. Richard Gale was the Gigolo, by the way, director, Drew Bette. backlash from the film community last year for marveling, listen to this, at Chat GPT's ability to develop movie ideas, leaving him stunned. So this is why I like him. He admits that AI can do anything he can do and even better.

And of course, the jerkoffs in Hollywood hold that against them. You fucking people are like children. Those are the same people that far left liberal douchebags who put out all the shit that we woke shit that we hate. You're going to hold it against a writer who's come up with three movies. You couldn't come up with him. Yeah, go do another Superman

and Green Hornet, you fucking faggots. Right? He's admitting AI is unbelievable. He's not saying it's not going to end fucking the earth. He's just saying he goes, you know, I wouldn't suggest going there if you want to get laid, but you put

a script in there. Every idea he says chat GPT came up with within a few seconds was good. And original. That's a guy who wrote taxi driver. I once said taxi cab. It's a guy who wrote Uber. And original and fleshed out.

Schrader wrote in a January 2025 Facebook post. The idea was fleshed out. That means you don't just come up with the idea. You build it out a little bit. So when you're pitching it, that's fucking writer jargon. Why should writers sit around for months, he says, searching for a good idea,

when AI can provide one in seconds. Why? Because they want to get employed. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Guys, and I'm saying this in all sincerity. I am not that sad to be 64 other than my fucking teeth falling out and me taking a dump once every three weeks and dying, frankly. I'm just saying, why would they need comedians eventually? I mean, they now, they say they can, if you could feed my material into an AI thing and say, give us a nickname. Apollo and they come out with, I'm sure, very something similar. Dallas is shaking his head, which a good fucking employee should do.

He's absolutely right. There's only one. There's only one, and AI is way too woke to pull off a U. You know, that's a good point. I made the point yesterday how woke it was that I already forgot. You don't think you could say AI to say chimp out? Look at him, he's chimp it out. We're going to keep an eye on our boy, Chud.

He's probably still in jail. you know that's interesting you're right they would try to and it would be corny it would be like comedians who try to handle race and culture jokes but they do like I don't want to see Lampinelli because I like Lisa

but her act was a little over to you know there were a lot of easy ones you know and there's some yeah there's some comedians that just I'm not going to mention names but they try to do race and they butcher it that make people like us

or even Colin Quinn who does this subtle as opposed to fucking work boots hide his work boots that type of shit Chris Rock said that I remember Chris Rock when I was remembering

he goes Erase yeah you only leave that for the professionals he's talking about like black comics he says I just sent chat GBT a script I'd written some years ago and asked for improvements

in five seconds how is that possible this is black black magic. It responded with notes as good or better than I've ever received from a film executive. Well, that doesn't surprise me. What does an executive know about art? Dallas just snapped his neck going like this. But that's a guy, this is him saying it. You know what I mean? He says, I've just come to realize AI is smarter than I am, Shreda said in another post, has better ideas, has more official

ways to execute them. This is in an existential moment, aching to what Kasparov felt in 1997 when he realized Deep Blue was going to beat him at chess. Remember that? A machine, they're the computer called De, play Casparov, the best fucking chess guy in the world, and he beat him. I thought that was a, yeah. That was him losing in chess. Good timing. Hey guys and girls As you know I had to cancel some gigs at the beginning of this month They're staying in today I went yesterday

I told you right Did I tell you the fucking crown came up I did right November 5th the punchline in Atlanta November 6th river casino in Philadelphia November 7th that's three nights in a row Working me like a colored guy Sol Joles and Pottstown PA

Go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets now before they sold out. While you're there, go to the merchandise page. And you can buy all kinds of horseshit. It's really good stuff made by little Asian girls. Hats, hoodies, micro-miniskirts, fucking plastic tits, rubber lips, wax balls. All of my name signed on them. That's how you support this show. Also, if you want to send a personalized video to someone, I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to.

book it at shoutout.us and no I didn't quit. I told you yesterday. Fucking Crowder's father sends me back for ha. He had ha ha ha ha like 10 fucking because I said I wanted to dig up Steve Jobs and fuck me some in the ass in front of his kids or some. And hey, shout out to my boy and your boy Crowder by the way. Crowder had some serious chest thing a few years ago. Like he was born in something.

His chest was literally caving in. So they had to put in literally like pipes to build out his chest. And now he's having him like removed. He's going to be in the hospital for like a week. So I send a text. I go, good luck with him taking that scaffolding out of you. So shout out to my boy. Hang in there, guy.

He's so funny. Because every time when I go there, I told he's like a hypochondriac. My neck. I got this thing on my neck. I'm old. I can prove my shit's broken. I get scars and he's 37. He looks fucking great.

Ah, I got this headache right here and the, and he knows what kind of lobe is there and shit. It's creepy. Speaking of creepy, this is the darkest story of the day. I almost didn't want to do it because I'm going into a long weekend. But I just, you have to point out the evil in the world. Like I can't tell my,

I can't read these stories to my wife because she gets visibly upset. You know, unless we're not. fight that I'll fucking read it Altor. Hold it down and reach it. Late, late, late term abortion, I call this. Listen to this. This is fucking,

I don't even, I can't even comprehend. A new mom and dad have been arrested for allegedly killing their one day old baby boy while they were still in the hospital's maternity ward. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled

was convincing the world he didn't exist. Kevin you could say Canaan or Canaan 28 if it's Canaan you're right Dallas about the with the terracized and and Yennifer let me give you let me let me give you my theory on Yenifer's name Yennafer Tavares Sepeda you know when Hispanics J and Y are different in English and Spanish right like a J will be at H or whatever Jose Jimenez but it's a J. whatever. Janifer, like instead of saying Job, they'll say Yob.

There was a picture for the Red Sox, Louis Tiant in the 70s. He was Dominican, I think. God, Dominican and Puerto Rican. It doesn't matter. But he had a heavy, or maybe Cuban. I want to go Cuban now. Let me just name every greasy Spanish Cuban. I think he was Cuban.

Anyways, he would do local paint commercials in Boston on TV. I use California paint. It does the Yob, everything. It does the job every time. My father would shit his pants laughing. Imagine? So that's supposed to be Jennifer. But somebody was pronouncing it, Yenifer, at the hospital,

and the white nurse put down Yenifer. Just like Anthony Hardaway. I know you think these are crazy ideas, but they're right on the money. You'll find out after him did. Anyways, these two scumbags, he's 28, he's 25, accused of abusing their newborn son in a private room at the time.

Power Health Redding Hospital in Pennsylvania on May 2nd shortly after his birth. You know, people joke you should have to have the IQ test or whatever, which sounds fucking fine to me. The Tart who medical staff says was born seemingly healthy was unexpectedly discovered to be in medical distress in a patient recovery room sometime later. Well, where's the fucking nurses and doctors, number one? Anyways, this is probably going to change protocol in fucking maternity. Or it'll be a black female judge from Yale who say,

let them go. They didn't do anything. She's not an abortion. The baby was pronounced dead after being rushed to Penn State Hershey Medical Center for Advanced Neonatal Care. Authority started probing after medical staff reported that the baby's injuries were not inflicted during the birth. An autopsy later revealed the baby had suffered a slew of traumatic internal

injuries. The DA's office said, I want to come up with a new segment. I couldn't find, I wanted to call it hang them or fry them. And I was trying to find footage of somebody being hanged in public, which I can always find. For some reason, I couldn't find him. You know, that'll be our new segment, hang them or fry them, whatever. I was trying to look for that clip of I actually went, people getting electrocuted in fucking AI, a good, and I was looking for that clip there's a famous clip of an Indian kid on a cable train and whatever

the fuck you know the cable cars that have the electricity running through it's over in India of course you know the wires are hanging down he's on the top of a train and he grabs the fucking fucking pitch black like a pitch black like you burnt an English muffin and smoke

coming off him and then he just fucking falls in pieces off it's good stuff folks it's the internet what are you going to do? Anyways, we're going to come up. You come up with a fucking thing. Call it fry.

I'm okay. You're in the military. Come up with the second thing. Bayonet him. I don't know. Internal injuries. The parents are accused of abusing his son in the short time frame. They were left alone in the recovery room.

Well, you know what? The hospital, and it's not, I understand, because the hospital, you're not going to expect that. All right? You can't follow him around and go, you can't have any privacy. But now they're going to, if they look like these two, Canaan and Tavares Sepater were hit with a spate of charge.

Not a spate. Including criminal homicide, aggravated assault, and endangering the welfare of a child. So may you fucking die a miserable. But that's the problem. I read stories like this. And you're really not kidding when you go, eh, they'll probably do 10 years if they're lucky.

You know I mean? there were two more stories yesterday. Yesterday I told you about all the youths meeting up and used to be called Wilding. You know, three, 400 black kids get on social media. We're going to overrun the speech. So that's been going on like crazy. Now, this morning, another one that I didn't get to yesterday.

And, you know, it's youth. And here's what they do. Again, watching TV with Nick. they show it from a distance they interview the cops up close but the footage of them actually going hog wild running over cars jumping on hoods of cars they show that in a distance

the only two youths they interview were white kids who were watching it see that way it balances out and it looks like we're not picking on black people we'll interview two white people and idiots at home will be watching and subconsciously go,

oh, it's both black and white kids doing them. That's the level they work at, and they've always worked at. They're slimy fucks. And it's never going to get, I said it yesterday, it's never going to get solved. Never,

until somebody starts making these people accountable, including the fucking parents. But that would be, they've drilled that into our head about racism, so fucking hard. It's in our DNA now. Somehow that would be racist.

To stop a specific group, and it is a specific group, causing violence and shit. But you can't do it. It'll look racist. You'll be deemed racist. You'll lose your job. Gonna break that cycle, or it's going to go on forever. Anyways, I'm doing my part.

Let's move on to Karma, Kama Cullen. Vanderbilt pitcher, Connor Fennell. Conifennel. I played with the, you know, Teddy Basil. I thought that was a skinny girl thrown. Look at that fucking whip for an arm. Vanderbilt pitcher Connor Fennell got the biggest dose of karma, or as we say in Massachusetts,

karma in the history of sports during Tuesday's opener against Kentucky. I realize the guy who wrote this said, that may sound hyperbolic, but yeah, I'm not exactly. So we're going to show you this kid all hyped up on the mound thinking he's a badass. And it comes back to bite him right in the clitoris. Out over the play with some movement and he wants them to put it in play because most of them are weak outs. And here's Carson Hanson. You fucking mind, let's go.

And you win. And listen to the play-by-play guy. How bad he is with this call. And a pop-up. A pop-up. A ball carrying deep. left field. Holcomb all the way at the wall. It's gone. Opposite field

home run, Carson Hanson. Yeah, you're fucking mine. If I could I grab this microphone, I beat your brains out with it because that's what she deserves. That's what you deserve. A pop-up. A pop-up that lands 410 feet in the bullpen. How about that, though? Pitch is all fucking yapping away. My God, amazing. This kind of fennel is cooked. People were right in online.

He may never recover from that. It's one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen on a pitching mound. And I once played for the worst Division III college baseball team in the country. Oh, that dirty cog sucker. Yelling your fucking mind, let's go after throwing an 89 mile an hour fastball is truly barbaric behavior. Barbaric? God does not use adjectives.

Do you need to know how slow. 89 is in 2026. It was slow when I'd last played a decade ago. Maybe it wasn't a fucking fastball stupid. You know I mean? Maybe that was his change. What was he throwing the rest of the game? This guys today, literally, their change,

their change up is 96. These guys that throw 101 and 102, they take four or five miles off. And the other thing, Dallas, I don't know if you notice this, they keep saying sinker. People are throwing sinkers today. They're not sinking.

They're fastballs. They don't drop. A sink is supposed to do this. That's what it used to do. Sink. Watch what they call on Sinkers now. It's a fastball. I don't see any movement on it.

I don't get it. Anyways, oh, you think you're going to sneak one by just because you're playing an SEC tournament opening game against Kentucky in the middle of a workday? Think again, pal. That's true. The baseball guards were locked in on this one, and they made sure Connor Fennell

was probably dealt with. That's true. He's thinking it's a Tuesday. Nobody's watching. Fucking internet's always watching. I think it's God. Good Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. You fucking mine. Only thing that would have been better

if he'd line one back right off his forehead. That happens a lot. Not a lot, but enough to make you think. Let's move on to FCC. Says, that's a federal communique. I said, Can I get a NCC communications thing? Company says parents concerned about tranny TV.

I couldn't think of anything. It stands for Federal Communications Commission. Chairman Brendan Carr told Breitbart News at a press conference on Wednesday that parents are increasingly concerned about transgender content in children's television as the agency considers updating television ratings. Before you get to the children's, programming. I'm concerned about it at an adult level watching Jeopardy week after week, night after night, month after month. And every third or fourth episode is a transitioning person.

And I'll say it again, I've said on the show before, they make up about point fucking 0,000 of the fucking universe. Yet there's one on Jeopardy every month. And you want me to believe out of the zillions of straight people who audition. And there's gay guys and gay women. Start there. Fuck the kids. I want you to start at the top and work backwards.

Speaking of Tranny, I went to the fucking publics yesterday. And I'm looking for a lane that's open, so I pick one. There's only one guy in front of me. And I see the girl, you know, typing in the shit or hairs hanging down. Looks up, it's a guy with lipstick.

Jessica, forearms bigger than my. And it was creepy because he kept giving me like he recognized my show or my act. He didn't like something. Or he wanted to fuck me.

I don't know. I let him fuck me anyways. That's a story. He took 10 cents off the rhubarb. Jessica. Not judging anybody, folks. I'm just saying they're out there.

I understand. that, but he had a scary, he gave me, I didn't like, he looked confused. Breitbart & News reported about how the FCC Media Bureau is seeking comment on if the agency should update television ratings to warn parents about children's programs that discuss gender identity and other controversial topic. Well, but see, they do it very subtly, like I just pointed out to you. They'll always have a defense like, you know, what do you mean? We're not going either way with that.

Yeah, but there's a guy with the, dress on in the background, you know, and then they'll have some excuse for it. Do you know it's written in? It was written in. I don't know if it still is. You know, auditions in Hollywood had to have so many gay people, so many black people, so many.

And it didn't matter what the fucking role was. You know? If the role was for Gandhi, they had to audition, you know, an Irish guy. No, sorry, that would include white people. They had to audition, you know. Like the NFL's coaching certain. rule. Yeah, which is an insult really actually to black people. What Dallas is talking about

is the Rooney rule. When you're looking for head coach, NFL team, you have to interview at least four black coaches or whatever, something like that, which is an insult to black people, number one. But even a, I remember the Miami Dolbin to the black coach. He didn't see it that way. He didn't think that was enough. I can't remember what his argument was, but anyways he added so one of the ideas that's been raised is should the TV ratings board start to include labels that identify that type of programming and children's programming it's all you understand it's worked into all of it whether it's the storyline the biggest storyline I've said this over and over again is women's empowerment that's the one that we can't get away

from. It's been going on since the fucking 80s. A lot of female anger in those commercials. Fucking always hitting a heavy bag. Cut to a commercial for the CSI. A female cop is beating the shit out of some thug. It's just embarrassing. The feminist movement is fucking embarrassing.

They have penis envy like you've never. It's in everything. Every fucking commercial, the guy's mopping. Well, the wife comes in, you know, from work. wearing a tie and a fucking, it's so obvious once you know to look for. And you have to know the politics of the people who produce this shit. And then it jumps out at you, and it'll ruin TV for it, like I ruined it for my wife. We can't even watch Jeopardy.

I'm starting to point. I go, look at the fucking contestant on the left. Get shoulders like fucking Kevin McHale. Are you sure? What? Am I sure? Jesus. Anyways.

Something about blah, blah. Congress passed. The agency has said that it has significant concerns with how the rating systems operates with a lot of content that is meant for adults now being rated as appropriate for children. Yes, yes, it's going on and what they watch. And you know what's great about it? Every time little kids start to act up in public, what do the parents do? Here's your iPad. They can soak more of that shit in. And by the fifth grade, Billy's wearing a skirt, which isn't a bad thing if he's get nice legs, but if he's a fat dumpy kid, nobody wants to see that. When asked about the feedback, the agency has received a card described that the rating

system was first created at a time when there was a lot of violent programming. He told Breitbart News, if you go back, Congress passed a law because they wanted parents to be informed about the types of TV programming that their children were getting. But that's before this country was taken over by activist Twentz and left-wing fuckstains. and the shit's been going on for 60 years, so generation after generation has been soaking in and in, now the lie has become the truth. On tough crowd, you can look it up,

we were talking about it, I don't know, some campaign or whatever, a black guy. I remember Santa Keith Robinson, who's a black friend of mine was on the panel, very funny, dude. And I go, I am so sick, and I use the word,

I used the term cultural Marxism, because I was reading a lot of fucking political shit at the time. I go, I'm so sick of the commercial with a white guy's dressed like a shithead. His black boss is looking at him and his Asian, you know, anytime of white, it's not a commercial until a white guy does a stupid dance or fucks up some way. And that's not even complete. It has to have the black and an Asian woman and some other females in the office laughing at him.

That's been going on forever. And when you ask the left why they do that, oh, we're just making up for all the times they weren't included, black people. Yeah, okay, even if that is your excuse, you met that quota. You even to score by 1977, I'd say. Now you're just fucking, the hatred for men runs so deep. It's insane to me. I should have done a one-minute show on that. Pulled clips and you can get permission, whatever.

Anyways, and at the time, a lot of focus was on violent programming, which we love, by the way. We're Americans. But the rating system was designed to cover a lot of different issues that parents care about. And increasingly, they had been concerned raised about some of the transgender content that has been put in children's television programming. Thus, school shooters. I think even people that are on different sides, they said, of issues as a general matter.

This is a naive thought on this guy's part. I think they all agree fundamentally that parents should be informed and parents should make the decisions, not the government for them. Really? Have you watched a fucking city council meeting or the Democrats in D.C. talk about this shit? They're trying to get, they're trying to get your kids.

They're trying to give the teachers the right to raise your kids without you knowing. What are you talking about? Yes, sir. That's right. Call me, sir. Anyways, uh, uh, oh, we got a vaudeville segment tonight.

And now, for Nick's video of the day. One of my favorite dances. Hit it, Teddy. Here's the sad part. That kid is happier than I'll ever be. Now here's the other sad part. You look at that.

You go, is that AI and shit? But no, there's some real, you don't know, though. But I, we, I'm going with you on this. because, but you're never going to know. You can watch the news tonight and not know, I mean, that's which ruins everything. It puts doubt, it makes you a cynic. But this guy, do it again.

I like to watch him. Ladies, what if you're at a club? And he came up for you had a club and he came up and asked you to Dan. What would you do? Jump on his back? Fucking ride him. Oh my God. Good for you, kid. Don't take no shit off, nobody. Why would you put a guy's...

And that was Nick's video of the day. Come on, God. Why would you put a guy's legs on backwards and give him animal hind legs? You're real. You're going to be a prick sometimes. He's like, come on, we've got to have a laugh. You're killing babies down there. We've got to laugh about shit.

You know what's good that they're having a lot of time string beans when you do them right. In garlic and olive oil, you know, like guineas do. I ate about a pound of them. What's that? And just crispy. That's called al dente, yes. I don't care about those. But yes, you want a little bite to them, but I'm telling you, I like them either way.

Same with my pasta. I'm not that fussy about my pasta either. I agree that, yeah, a little bite to it. That means al dente means it. To the tooth in Italian. They always come up with these stupid things. Yes. But fucking garlic, olive oil, mink you.

Actually had salmon, which is terrific. Let's move on to speaking of food. Mouthwatering fries. A former manager of a McDonald's restaurant allegedly posted a video of herself contaminating French fries on a social media on social media and now faces prison time. Get out of here, prison.

First of all, she's a female and she's Santos. What's that? Hispanic. He can fucking do anything prison time. And she's gay by the article. Kelly Santos, 22 of Southbridge, Massachusetts. Oh, Kelly, what are you doing? She put this up herself.

Hey, what is that? Was arrested for the video that went viral on Facebook that showed two workers participating in the alleged contamination. The video apparently, why do you have to have two workers? Did they swap it like common of porno? The video apparently showed Santos shoving the fries into her mouth before placing them in the fries carton. Let's take a look.

A video gone viral. This McDonald's employee appearing to put fries in their mouth and right into a box that served to customers in Southbridge, with co-workers laughing on. You're on Friday, right? Oh, that's all over Facebook. That's disgusting. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. And it's not sanitary. Oh, thank you, doctor. Unacceptable. Police said they received numerous calls, tips, and inquiries regarding the alleged food contamination. With the Board of Health, they're now working to determine whether the food was ultimate.

I didn't give you all that. Did I? Huh? I think you fucking screened my. thing. The time codes are different. Delicious. Either way. Santos was apparently targeting

his ex-girlfriend. I mean, her ex-girlfriend. See, I'm still stuck in Transville. Santos was apparently targeting her ex-girlfriend who went through drive-th of the restaurant on April 8th, according to investigators. So they, you know, nice high school age, lesbians gone. and the girlfriend returned the fries and they smelled like salmon.

No. Bole-O'A-Puccine. The video apparently shows Santos shoving the fries into her mouth before placing them in the fries cart. That's funny because I pulled up to one of these things when I was in college, I pulled up to McDonald's, and the girl in the drive-to was so hot I asked her to put the fries in her mouth and spit them in my mouth, like a baby bird. She wants French fries today, right? Santos is heard saying she knows it's her ex-com.

girlfriend who's in a new relationship. Investigators also were able to obtain surveillance video from the store showing that she spit into the carton of fries, not just chew them, and she gave it one of those. That's not going to bother a lesbian. When they interviewed the alleged victim, she said that she had ordered two sodas, but the Santos gave her a bag of fries too. She didn't think anything of it and ate the fries. first of all, why are you pulling up?

If that's an ex-girlfriend, you know she works the drive-thew. Okay, you still want a piece of her, obviously. Should have got the filial fish. She also claimed that the Santos had been harassing her and the customer's new partner. She's broad's crazy. Santos faced one count of giving a person food containing a foreign... It's nothing foreign.

Foreign substance. That's what they call it in baseball, so I guess if you put it on a fry. containing a foreign substance which was intended or might reasonably be expected to cause injury. I like how they use the word injury too. Like, what are you going to spray an ankle because somebody's spitting your fries?

Shut the fuck up. Investigators said they tracked down the victim by searching the license plate on the video from the drive-through. And when I see stuff like that, and there's been stories like this, other people, Uber drivers, spitting in the food and shit,

it should remind you of a scene in casino automatically. I'll refresh your memory. memory right here. I'm going to credit for me. Yeah. Thanks a lot. Have a good time.

Choke. Still has to insult. What, I couldn't have played that part in my sleeve. I love that he didn't spit. He coughed one up.

You hear him? That's why he got the part in the audition. I had a real cold, he said. Isn't that delicious? I got a clam on my pursuit.

Let's move on to some showbiz topic. No, to mine and he was. You know, because we were at the comedy cellar every night with everybody else. The great Ray Romano, who you know what? People say good things

happen to good people. This is one of those cases. This guy is as nice a guy as you ever one. Nicest guy I ever met as far as being comics. And anyways, everybody loves residuals. There's the story. Ray Romano

Hey, come out. Makes 18. million dollars a year in residuals from his beloved show Everybody Loves Raymond according to Vanity Fair in Forbes. Do you understand he

could sit on the couch and watch TV until he dies and he gets 18 million a year? Excuse me and that doesn't count. Commercial probably he does and on top of that movies. This is from his syndicated TV show. I'll repeat that. 18 million

a year. Let's do some math. When you make $1,000 a million year, it's $20,000 a week. $20,000 times 18. That's $360,000 a week. Times four weeks is $1,44,000. Yeah. Times 52, $74 million.

I don't know. That makes sense because 18 times. Yeah, whatever. Holy fucking moly. Hey! What is that like? He went on Letterman, as I did. He went on Letterman, does a set after the show.

He gets a call from Letterman's company. Tell me he didn't have a fucking heart on. Yeah, we want to do a project with Ray. I got a call right after my set. They go, it was okay, but we don't want him back. No, they used me twice. And they asked me a third time. I told you this in the dressing room.

I was there to see Joe List to his first set and the girl that booked the show starts going, we want you on again but no homeless stuff, no, but I go, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Because I, my TV, I'm like the fucking, I don't know, I'm like a band that's better live.

You know, that shit doesn't, TV doesn't do me justice. I don't do bad. I did great in my first Letterman's spot, but it doesn't do you justice. As you get older, you like, it's not the most important thing in the world. You know I mean? You'd rather, whatever, and here I am, and there he is. I'm a pauper. on this fucking guy.

And my wife hates it because every time we go on vacation and I'll see a mansion in Florida, go, Ray could buy that tonight. She's like, enough of that shit already. Don't get mad at me because you didn't marry him. Both outlets reported the staggering amount in 2012,

seven years after the sitcom ended. My God. Vanity Fair noted that Romano's earnings were coming from syndication deals. No shit. Romano currently is worth 200 mil. It seems like it would be more than that. Well, currently, he's still

got all the... It goes on. Jerry Seinfeld is still getting residuals. By the way, he had the biggest deal. The 68-year-old's actor played sports writer Ray Barone, and it is a very well-written show. And it was on the same time his best friend, Kevin, you know,

Kevin James, both from Long Island. Well, no, right from, right from, yeah, Ray from Long Island, or Brooklyn? I think long. Anyways, they were good friends before they both hit it huge. So now they'd do each other shows. Anyways, he was a sports writer.

Nine seasons on the sitcom on CBS. Starring a great cast. Patricia Heaton was great. Brad Garrett, who's fucking funny as hell. Doris Roberts, who's dead. Peter Boyle, who's dead. Young Frankenstein. For the final season of the TV show,

Romano set a Guinness World record as the highest paid TV actor per episode, pulling in nearly 2 million episode. I didn't, what? Give me the money. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me?

I got to come here, bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Romano's salary, see those two little kids? They grew up on the show to, like one of them committed suicide a few years ago. Romano salary sparked behind the scenes drama as Garrett, that's Brad Garrett, led the rest of the cast to negotiate raises once they learned Romano was making so much more money than him. I wonder if he went to Ray and said, do you mind if I,

I wouldn't, you know, you're going to piss off the guy. Like Gandalfini was making a lot of money, way more than the rest of the cast. So he gave them all, I can't remember an extra, I don't know, extra $100,000 a year or $200,000. I want to get right out of his pocket, by the way. He was very generous. It was, Ray said it was inevitable.

when my salary came out in the papers, I knew stuff would happen. The Emmy winner admitted he would have done the same thing as his co-stars who got their pay raise for the final season. They got their pay raise. I don't see Ray being one of those guys that would... He's just a, you know, I don't hold anything against anyone, not the cast or CBS. I'm loyal to both of them.

I wanted to get it resolved, but I knew it had to play course. The Everybody Loves Raymond cast included, I already said this, Romano, Garrett, Heaton. They reunited in November for the show's 30th anniversary special, which honored Doris Roberts and Peter Boy, who were great. I was more of a King of Queens fan. They're both equally, not ones, but I just like King and Queens is more jockey, insulting. The wife had a cutting edge to her and shit. No, no, no. kids involved. But both really good. And that guy,

I'm telling you, if you met him, you'd fucking love him. A few months earlier, Romano exclusively told the Post at another 30th anniversary event that there would be no reboot. Here's a quick clip of Patricia Heaton, who was Glite as the wife.

Oh, great. I said Glead. If my parents lit an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve, they wouldn't be as bad as your parents. Huh? Yeah. drop the turkey that's like Lucy I always wondered where the flavor came from

delivered perfectly understated a quick story about that show when he first got the deal in the first season this guy Tom's last name his name is Tom Italian last name he knew me I knew him a little bit

he was one of the producers on the show I can't remember his exact but he calls me I didn't call him and said something about writers they're looking for writers I said so should I come down

and he goes yeah on Monday come down so I drive to the lot my name's at the thing I come in nobody knows I'm coming other than Tom Raz's like hey what are you doing here I'm like I thought I was going to get a writing and John and then

Lou Schneider who was a stand-up comic who I knew he was one of the writers He said he got really nervous. He's like, Nick, what are you doing? Why are you here? I go, Tom said there might be an opening for the writing. No, no, no, no, no. Boy, did I feel like a schmuck?

Oh, my God. I go, okay, I'm out of here, I guess. Ray was nice. Good to see you, blah, blah. No, I don't, you know, maybe he goes, Ray said, maybe we are, I don't know. Talk to whoever. Next thing I know, I'm back in a golf cart

that drive me back to my car on the lawn. Another successful showbiz story. anyways so that was that finally tonight delivering well ended on a high note as we go into the weekend delivering and saving a 72 year old Chicago county man is facing attempted murder charges after authorities say he attempted to kill his wife with a hammer before being interrupted by an Amazon delivery right what an idiot you never use a hammer on your wife it's got to have something with points on it Dallas disagrees because I did a Good job with a hammer a couple of years ago. James Allen Johnson of Wyoming, Minnesota was, I don't like cities like that.

I don't like a fucking city named after a state in another state. Cut the shit. Was taken into custody on May 11th following the harrowing incident, which police say was fueled by looming financial ruin. Police officers responded to the couple's home on May 11th. That's just a little while ago. Following a 911 call, reporting an assault with a weapon in progress.

According to Chicago County, is there any reason they'd spell Chicago with an essence? in this article. Chicago. That's the name of the county. It is? Tashago. Okay, I hate that even more.

I was talking about, I wasn't even making fun of that word. Shasago, I'm sorry, fucking Indians. Probably where we get Chicago from. I'm guessing. Anyhow, Shasago. Oh, please. Yeah, I live in Lomden. Chisago County Court Dogman.

The caller was at Amazon Delivery Driver. who was dropping a package off at the couple's home and he reported hearing frantic screaming. He looked inside the home and saw a woman covered in blood and a man holding a hammer. Instead of leaving the driver, entered the home

and told the suspect to drop the hammer before calling 911. When officers arrived, they found the victim bleeding heavily from her head, arms, and hands. Do we have a picture of the guy that saved? What? He wasn't mentioned by name?

Oh. According to police reports, the women had two large bloody indentations on the woman's head, consisting of marrying a Mexican. No, with multiple hammer strikes. That would hurt. The victim told police that she was only able to get him off her by kicking him in the pussy. Johnson later told detectives that his business was facing financial collapse. He claimed that the impending financial crisis would leave his wife forced to live off of significantly reduced Social Security.

So he was killing her, in other words, for a good reason, for her sake. So she wouldn't be living on bologna and dog food after he was gone. How stupid you. To spare her from the financial hardship, Johnson admitted that he had been planning to kill his wife for several days. I was doing it for her. I don't want her to suffer. Hey, I just don't want to end up like Gene Hackman and his wife. And by the way, do you know what they died from?

Now that we know this virus, Hantra, that fucking Hantra thing that's out there now, which comes from rat droppings and rat urine. The people on the ship, it's last week, two weeks ago, remember? 13 people got sick, three of them died or whatever the fuck. It's the thing that they have in the wings when Trump starts to win the midterms. they'll break this out probably in a few months just like they did COVID I think this is their plan

I keep seeing little stories about it not every and all of a man not in the USA yet don't hold you know so keep an eye on that that's it that was a very informative very entertaining show if I do say so myself don't forget

cameo dot com if you want me to roast a friend of yours or wish somebody a happy funeral camio.com. All right, kids. It's a long weekend, so I hope you have a blast at your cookouts. Remember, drink and drive it is not that fucking dangerous.

I'm so sick of hearing that. What's dangerous is the cops, who I love, by the way. But on the Memorial Day weekend, they're everywhere. You've got to be smart about it. Wear a helmet and show the pads. That's it. You guys, thank it. I'll say very welcome.

Have a great weekend again. I'll see you back here on Tuesday. Take care, everybody. Good night, everybody.