The Nick DiPaolo Show - Fauci Under Hot Watter | Nick Di Paolo Show #645

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Fauci calls for Watter's firing. Mayor Lightfoot asks feds for law enforcement help. Miami airport brawl. Midler offends all of WV. Spike Lee gets keys to NYC. Escalator goes wrong way.

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You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash thenickdapaloshow. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Oh yeah! Folks, how are ya? Happy holidays to ya. Welcome to the show. Little bit of audio problem today.

Coming in on one channel, not the other. Everything's fine when we go home. And then the ghost of fucking Christmas past comes in and pisses on the board. I don't know what it is, but whatever. I mean, if we can get through Omicron, we can get through this, am I right? I can't believe what I'm watching. I can't believe what I'm watching on TV. It is, so many people are falling in line with this shit.

I don't even know what to say. The lady in South Africa who found it is like, what's people panicking about? I don't fucking get it. It's obviously this agenda they're following, the global, whoever. My close buddy, Colin Quinn, is like, nah, he doesn't really believe in, I'm not saying it's a conspiracy,

but I'm saying it's somebody's agenda, you know, and he thinks it's more important things to fight, which, I don't know, it's kind of your civil rights and people, you know, carrying around papers in the United States, kind of a big thing, no? I don't know. I don't know. But all I know is Bill Gates and his boys. I don't know. He was such a fucking slimy little prick. His old man, too. Do some research on these people. And never trust people who think there are too many people on the planet, I mean, that have the smarts and the power to do something about it. They are fanatical, you know. Sometimes I just want to go to Bill Gates' house

and dump some McDonald's trash on his lawn and go, fuck you. That'll help things, Nick. Do that. Anyways, it's Santa Claus time. Got some audio from AOC celebrating the holidays. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year? What?

A big fat cock. Oh. In my ass. Yes, you do. Put it in her mouth. Shut her up. Who's with me? Anyhow, let's roll on, shall we?

So we can get to the Christmas and holidays. In the N-word segment today, congrats to my old hometown of Boston for finally accomplishing the impossible. They turned the cradle of liberty into the cradle of communism. They are now officially San Francisco East. What with their newly elected Asian female mayor? By the way, she's considered the first woman of color mayor in the history of

Beantown. So I guess it's all right to call Asian people yellow because that's the color she is. That's fucking crazy. It only makes sense though. She's a protege of Liz Warren, who was a woman of color red with that 1-8 Cherokee. And yesterday, she implemented her first tyrannical edict. Starting January 15th, you'll need proof of vaccination to enter bars, restaurants, nightclubs, indoor sporting events, etc. You people from Boston, you must be proud. That's right. In order to attend a Bees game, a Celts game, or just enjoy a cold Sam Adams at a bar, you'll need walking papers, as the Nazis used to call them.

Sometimes you want to go where every database knows your name. And everybody acts the same. You want to go with a filthy pig. Anyway, enough of that. Anyways, congratulations of that. Anyways, congratulations, Boston. I know you've been shooting to be, again, San Francisco East for the last 20 years. Cheers. In the news

tonight. God, am I sick of talking about Fauci and Amicrom and fucking, uh, maybe I'll change the theme of the show. We'll start covering, I don't know, we'll just march homeless people in here and beat them up on camera. You know, just the white ones. I know the rest of the world has had it so much tougher than us. Anyways, Fauci, that little Hitler disgrace of an Italian, a disgracia, Dr. Anthony Fauci, on Tuesday said that Fox News host Jesse Waters, one of the few guys who seems to get it to me,

should be fired for using violent language, here we go again, at a conservative conference to encourage attendees to conduct an ambush interview with him in the hopes of creating a viral moment. I mean, that's crazy, Fauci added. The guy should be fired on the spot. Why so serious? Yeah, Fox News defended Waters. A spokesman said in a statement, based on watching the full clip and reading the entire transcript, it's more than clear that Jesse Waters was using a metaphor for asking hard-hitting questions to Dr. Fauci about gain-of-function research, and his words have been twisted completely out of context. What has made his remarks Monday at the right-wing turning point, see how they throw right-wing in there? They never throw left-wing. Tell me, bring me an article where it says left-wing. Right-wing turning point USA conference, where he gave students a playbook on how to record a viral moment

that Fox News would air and that other right-wing outlets would amplify. Here's Jesse explaining it, and you'll see the context of what it was actually like when he said it. Now you're going for the kill shot. The kill shot with an ambush, deadly, because he doesn't see it coming. That was Fox News host Jesse Waters Monday night at a Turning Point USA conference. Waters encouraged the right-wing crowd to have viral moments

and rhetorically ambushed Dr. Anthony Fauci. Pause. You just said it, bitch. Rhetorically. Rhetorically ambush. If you have a problem with this and you know it's rhetorical, then you're not for free speech. Rhetoric, speech, word, rhetorically ambush. If you have him a problem with this and you know it's rhetorical, then you're not for free speech, rhetoric, speech, word.

It all goes together. He did it rhetorically because on the right, we're adults about the language. See, you keep up this mentality, the left, that because he said that, somebody's going to get ambushed. Or if I make a gay joke or say fags, somebody's going to get beat up today. The fucking myth you guys have kept alive for a thousand fucking years. And that's why you guys,

basically you're ready to go off the air. You're in the shitter. Nobody listens to you. Yet they continue. How much more proof do you need that they're a propaganda arm for the fucking Democrats? She even says it rhetorically.

So why are you reporting on it? Go ahead. Kill shot by asking aggressive questions about research at the Wuhan lab. This is when you say, take that in a while, Dr. Fauci. Don't call him doctor. You funded risky research

at a sloppy Chinese lab. Restaurant. The same lab that sprung this pandemic on the world. You know why people don't trust you, don't you? Boom, he is dead. Oh, don't say that, Jesse. He's done. Fauci, who is President Biden's chief medical advisor, had this to say in response. That's horrible. I mean, that just is such a reflection of the craziness that goes on in society. Pause. That's horrible. They've used the term on CNN before. Matter of fact, you're calling everybody you call Trump a Nazi, which is just like giving people permission.

What's worse than a Nazi? Who's going to get mad if you kill a Nazi or silence him or punch him in the face? And you're on that network that's done that forever saying, this is horrible, unconscionable, fucking mental midget. He reacted with shock to the awful comments on Tuesday. CNN, I hope you burn to the ground with everybody in it. I hope fucking Wolf Blitz is lighting farts in his office and the drapes catch on fire after his Venus schnitzel. Anyways, that's awful. But also acknowledge that it's very likely Waters would go unaccountable at Fox News, as opposed to CNN, who cheered on the riots. Remember the guy on the street, this fucking, literally, gas station burning? Mostly peaceful. You fucking people have to be

kidding. Jim Acosta, that little faggot, was holding a sign a couple days ago of the Fox Christmas tree with pictures of Fox personalities. How else other than him mocking somebody lighting that tree on fire? Fuck off. Let's go. Drop the gloves. Somebody in Atlanta, you're right near CNN.

Blow it the fuck up. The only thing that I have ever done, he says, throughout these two years is to encourage people to practice good public health practices, to get vaccinated, to be careful in public

because public settings, because, you know, I have a, I have a patent on all this shit and making trillions. Fauci said on New Day, what a scumbucket. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. And for that, Fauci continued, you have some guy out there saying that people should be giving me a kill shot. That's not what he was saying.

To ambush me. I mean, what kind of craziness is there in this society these days? Oh, my God. Who gives a fuck what you think? Waters' comments come just weeks after Lara Logan, another Fox News personality who hosts a show on the channel's streaming network, compared Fauci to a Nazi doctor infamous for experimenting on prisoners at the Auschwitz death camp. At the time, Fauci called out Fox News for staying silent and not commenting on Logan's comments. What I find striking, Chris, is how she gets no discipline whatsoever from the Fox network.

Fauci said at the time to MSNBC reporter, in fact, Chris Hayes. How can they let her say that with no comment and no disciplinary action? I'm astounded by that. Who gives a fuck what you think? You're astounded by it you're on a network that called trump a nazi every day every minute of the fucking year for four years and it's bothering you now you fucking people are gone man this is what's scary you have one side i think my opinion that's in touch with reality and then you have the democrat seriously that's that touch with reality. And then you have the Democrat... Seriously.

That's when bad things happen. When you're living on two different planes and you can't agree on anything. I think we're this close. Just hold off. I want to get my gifts. Return some chewing tobacco I bought my wife. I don't think she's going to like it.

Anyways, the hypocrisy. Yeah, so stop with the fucking faux outrage. Could you please, doctor? And if you really, that's what scares me. If he really believes what he's saying there,

you know he's not because he's not a dumb guy. Just an evil guy. Speaking of evil, Beetlejuice, and again, I'm going to say this again for the fifth time on the show I don't believe anybody elected this broad she's a black lesbian that's all it took the people who run the elections

at any level in this country go you know it's time old whitey guy got to get the fuck out of the way let them vote we'll drop her in have you ever met a more dour woman with a dour personality? Liberals are like that anyways. They wake up, oh, God, AIDS, the environment.

No, seriously, they've never had a good day in their lives because it makes them feel good. They care, you know. This brought us the most miserable person, and can you blame her? She's fucked up, confused sexually, looks like Beetlejuice. Two strikes and you're out. Lori Lightweight, I call her. Watch that become viral now. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot, I like the name of her, who last year proposed cutting $80 million from her city's police budget.

Guess what she's doing? Publicly pleaded with the feds on Monday to bolster the ranks of her city's cops amid a surge in shootings and homicides. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Just think about it. Let that sink in for a second. She cut the budget for the police in the most violent city you could argue in the country. Kids, 50 shootings a weekend, 10, 12, every weekend, Friday, I don't know. She wanted to defund the police in the middle of that, and now shit's all hell's breaking

loose. She has the gall to come knocking. Of course, you know, there'll be more than, if Trump was in office, he'd go, sorry, out of cash. Had nothing. Sorry, Lori. You picked it. Enjoy. You made your bed, now land it. Lightfoot called on Attorney General Merrick Garland, another jerk-off, to send agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms to the Windy City for a six-month crackdown on illegal guns. Alcohol, tobacco, fire. What the? And wear a tie like a man would wear a tie. None of this goddamn limo driver look.

I don't mean to be stereotypical here, but you wonder why stereotypes exist about certain races. Do I see two hands on a basketball behind her? I can't make that up. Let's take a look at the video of her being the dope that she is, I guess. People for whom violence is a daily concern are particularly stressed that's black people and that more recently violence is creeping into other neighborhoods that have not historically meaning white people she can't even say it as a mayor of the city you're not a man I want to assure you that from day one in my time as mayor public safety has been is and will continue to be my highest priority.

How's that been working out for you? That's your highest priority? Is that more of a priority than not talking to white reporters? Remember that? You said that, Laurie. Nobody believes anything you say. Okay, just grow a dick and get it over with. Then she said this.

What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady by the way that she eats in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hog. We cannot continue to endure the level of violence that we are now experiencing because of my shitty leadership, I added. Lightfoot said during a 40-minute speech written by Pelosi's nephew, Teddy, I feel the urgency every day, she says. The desperation move made Lightfoot, who said she opposes the defund the police movement, the second big city Democratic mayor in days to announce dramatic steps to restore law and order after they fucked it up as crime spirals out of control.

I'm drooling. I like this story so much. On December 14th, progressive San Francisco mayor, 14th progressive San Francisco mayor, London breed is falling down, falling down, who last year pledged to shift $120 million from the city's law enforcement budget to social spending. You see how they are? Right after the George Floyd thing, they come out and make these promises, because it's all emotion. They don't think it through. It's all about emotion, especially with chicks. What, Nick? How can you? That's right. I said it. And now we've watched her city deteriorate every night on the nightly news. Smash and grab, CBS is moving, everything. Oh, that's right. Maybe it's because... Ugh. Anyways, city law

enforcement budget to social spending. She moved the money to social spending. Reverse course during a speech in which she vowed to end the reign of criminals who are destroying our city. You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. Exactly.

So now you want the government? You want the feds to jump in? You're entitled to shit. I'm telling you. What's that, Tony? What is your? You're entitled to shit. Lori Lightfoot wants them too. You're entitled to shit.

You heard him. You heard the man, okay? Hey, folks, listen up, please. Very important. I've added three new tour dates so all of you people in Arizona and Texas and North Carolina can come out and see some real comedy. Finally. You know what I'm saying? Stuff that you guys have been saying at your house for years that I was saying on TV and somehow got around it because nobody even knows I'm alive.

Here goes. You can get all these tickets, by the way, to these shows at nickdip.com, just on sale today. January 14th and 15th, I'll be at the CB Live in Phoenix, Arizona. Then check this out. We will be doing this show, the podcast, in front of a live audience for the first time on January Thursday, January 27th in Rale a live audience for the first time on January, Thursday, January 27th in Raleigh, North Carolina at Good Nights. Did they get rid of the Charlie?

The next two nights, January 28th and 29th, I'll be at Good Nights in Raleigh performing stand-up. So you might as well plan to come and spend the whole weekend with me, especially if you got bigger. February 3rd, it's a joke, everybody. I'm happily married. come and spend the whole weekend with me, especially if you've got bigger bugger quads. February 3rd, it's a joke, everybody. I'm happily married. February 3rd, Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center in Chester, New York. I always like to go upstate New York in February. It's a good booking by the fucking... February 4th, Algonquin Arts Theater in Manasquan, New Jersey. This is barring Omicron taking the world down. February 5th, my old hot governor's comedy club in Levittown, New York. And then in March, Jesus, Tommy, really?

Can't we just sell Coke? I'm 59. I should be doing less, not more. And then in March, I'll be in Texas, March 25th, at Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas. Then the next night at Hyena's Comedy Club in Fort Worth, Texas. And lastly, I'll be back in the Northeast in April, April 7th through 9th, Comics Mohegan Sun in Unkersville, Connecticut. Again, you can get all the tickets to these shows at nickdip.com. Hope to see you out there. Again, don't wear a mask unless you want to be picked on unmercifully. I hear fucking Tom Papa, who I like.

He's a good guy. He's just, I think he's Hollywood seeped into his brain out there, but I hear his radio spot. I'll be touring the country and we're going to do it the right way. Oh, oh, Tom, don't make me paddle your ass. And bring your mask, he says. What the fuck? Even though Nick DiPaolo audiences haven't worn a mask

since this shit broke two years ago, and nobody has died. And that I know of. Speaking of touring and flying, airport anarchy. Once again, I'll give you ten guesses to which airport. Fucking Miami.

My buddy used to, that was his, my cop buddy used to work this Miami airport every day. A wild brawl broke out at Miami International Airport where an officer pulled out his gun in front of screaming passengers. Look how they worded it. So if you just read that, you're like, oh, another crazy cop.

Pulled out his gun in front of screaming passengers in a packed terminal. So he's the nut. I'm teaching you guys how to read the slanted news. Let me rewrite it for you. Some fucking crazy Dominican or black fuck who has no conflict resolution skills because he probably grew up in a one-family household went nuts because his flights kept getting canceled.

That's how you should open it. That's how you write the article. So he pulled his gun out in a packed terminal That's how you should open it. That's how you write the article. So he pulled his gun out, you know, in a packed terminal in front of a bunch of people and all hell broke loose. A 40-second clip posted to Twitter shows the melee unfolding at gate H8. Ha ha! H8!

H8! Hate! Anybody pick up on that? Everybody will now. Hate! It's H-8! Hate! This is creepy. We're an airport worker reported a disturbance due to a delayed charter flight, Miami-Dade

Police told NBC. How many fucking clips have we showed? Maybe you weren't here, but I know one. Miami Airport. What are you? This doesn't even involve Spirit Airlines. Let's take a look at the action. Clashing with police Monday night.

And it all apparently started when a charter flight. The cops on the left in the brown shirt. An unruly passenger grabbed. And there's a black kid throwing haymakers or Dominican, whatever. Boy, he looks scared of the police, don't he? Good, he's got his gun out. Use it!

Boy, they look scared of cops, those black kids. Or Dominicans. Pause. That's an NBC report. They look scared of cops, those black kids. Or Dominicans. They are investigating why the officer drew his weapon. Pause. That's an NBC report. As you see him pulling his gun out, that's the only points they made on NBC today.

And they're investigating this cop like he's in the wrong. Fucking NBC, you're the evilest motherfuckers, I swear. Because you have the most, you know, you get numbers because you're a real network. And they always hire a black guy who, as Biden would say, you know, he's nice, clean, dresses nice. But he's got that little bit of rasp. I can hear that. I can see that white hate, hate whitey gene about an inch under his face plate. about an inch under his face plate.

Anyhow, responding officers found an unruly passenger who had taken the keys of an airport transport car. I did that once. I was doing donuts in the snow. And refused to let a worker leave the area, police told the station. The footage shows one officer with his arm around a man's neck.

That's what they choose to write in the article. His arms around a man's neck. That's what they choose to write in the article. His arms around a man's neck as several people scuffle in dozens of passages that look on some with their phones out because we've turned into a, just a fucking country of absolute morons to record the unfolding skirmish. He did the right thing, in my opinion. Don't you move, you motherfucker! I'll blow your brains out! The man, being subdued by the officer, breaks free and goes around the right side of the line,

down the sideline, 41 yards, untouched, and continues to attack the cop, who proceeds to back up and brandish his weapon as shocked travelers watch the escalating disturbance. Why are you shocked you're at Miami airport? It's like going to Starbucks. I mean, shocked they have coffee. Oh, shit. Now, let me be the racist here because I didn't even listen to the fucking whoever's filming it. But they said, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Let me guess.

Minority? One man says, well, that's not true because white kids talk like that. They have no identity. One man says on the footage, which ends as travelers surround the cop as he tries to restore order, two people were in custody following the brawl. Miami-Dade police told the lying NBC affiliate. It's unclear what charges they face. How about charging their face with a fucking claw hammer, WSVN reported. What's that, Savannah? The circumstances leading up to the officer

pulling out his weapon are also under investigation because it's not too clear from the video he was in the right you know but they have to say that now this country is so full of shit and so buried in layers and layers and again they're making it all fucking you know gram grammar now and fucking they hide it in the language and uh the president of the south florida police benevolent association meanwhile said the officer responded properly. He breaks off and it's getting out of hand, so he draws his weapon, union boss Stedman Stahl. Is that Oprah's husband? Stedman Stahl, told the Miami Herald. He stops the crowd and he reholsters.

He did nothing wrong, exactly what he was trained to do. Exactly right. But you know, there's lawyers in the world that'll jump in and the guy should get a promotion. He was the best guy around. Get him out of the Miami airport. Make him guard, there's a lot of fucking,

you know, titty bars down there. Give the guy some work he needs. This guy looks like, I don't know, a healthy Chris Farley. I don't like him a healthy Chris Farley. I don't like it. You don't like it?

Yeah. The upset passengers have been stranded for hours while waiting for an air sentry flight. Really? Air sentry? They let you down? They weren't right on schedule? Pedro? You dumb fuck.

What did you pay, $11? To the Dominican Republic to depart. The flight has been rescheduled for Friday, the Herald reported. Once again, we have a whole nation of people who have no conflict resolution skills whatsoever, including myself. I have the mentality of an 11-year-old when I get angry. But I don't, you know.

Some of you guys should have helped the cop out and fucking, you know. But you don't want to get sued either. I understand. Anyways, next story is about one of my favorite entertainers. I have all her records. about one of my favorite entertainers. I have all her records. This is why,

this is why, and I'm not saying this because I lived in New York and I, you know me, I'm always backing Jewish people, but this is why New York Jews get a bad rep because of Bette Midler and people like her,

who just, Barbara Streisand, who just think they shit ice cream. Bette Midler, me and my wife used Streisand, who just think they shit ice cream. Bette Midler. Me and my wife used to see her when we went to St. Bart's on the beach. I actually threw up in my fucking snorkel thing. I almost backed up. Ugh, we saw her at the beach. She kicked sand in my face because she's a bully.

Mental midget Midler. Singer Bette Midler, still alive. You know she was Johnny Carson's last guest? Excuse me, I believe. She just, again, there's this arrogance that even when I moved from Boston, which is, you know, a little stuffy, to New York, there's this arrogance about New York. They really don't think, I'm talking about ones that grew up there, they really don't think anything else exists outside the fucking. Singer Bette Miller apologized to people of West Virginia after firing off a frustrated tweet aimed at Democrat Senator Joe Manchin, who continues to block President Biden's infrastructure plan in Congress. So she got all upset about that.

What Joe Manchin, who represents a population smaller than Brooklyn, see that's where she grew up, has done to the rest of America, who wants to move forward, not backward, like his state, she said that about West Virginia, is horrible.

The From a Distance singer tweeted Monday. What the fuck does that mean? I wish she was from on another planet. That'd be distant enough. He sold us out. He wants, see how she looks at it like a political, he wants us all to be just like his state in West Virginia,

poor, illiterate, and strung out. You just described all of the fucking inner city minorities. Oh my God, I hate this broad. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt. A little Christmas music for you folks. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Dallas is dancing his ass off. Dallas is dancing his ass off. Manchin caught many progressives off guard over the weekend when he announced he would not support the Build Back Better.

The dumbest name of anything I've ever heard. Build Back Better. How's that working out? Are you doing better than Trump? Anyways, he didn't back the Build Back Better plan in the Senate. Weeks after it had been passed in the House of Representatives, controlled by the fucking idiot left-wing Warren cocksuckers who have no idea what they're doing. Joe Manchin. Let's go, Joe. Let's go Joe!

I didn't mean to... I apologize to the good people of West Virginia for my last outburst. You see, I'm an arrogant Jew from New York who's made millions and think I shit, um, Rocky Road. I'm just seeing red. Joe Manchin and his whole family are a criminal enterprise because they don't agree with me. A rich woman from New York. That makes Joe Manchin a criminal. Is he really the best West Virginia has to offer its own citizens? Yes, he's being bipartisan. He's keeping the country from collapsing under the weight of that stupid bill. Surely, she says, there's someone there who has the state's interest at heart, not his own. Oh, my God, Bette, if I see you on the beach, I'm telling you, I'm going to kick sand in your face. Yuck. New York is New York, New York is... New York, New York.

Let's stay in the city of New York. You know, it's funny, I'm still reading articles with de Blasio. It's still the mayor. What the fuck? Eric Adams is already... I guess that's how it works. You don't take over until January, almost like the presidency. He's doing so much damage on the way out.

What a scumbuck. What's his future, by the way? Selling pencils at the fucking entrance to the Holland Tunnel, breathing in all that carbon monoxide that hopefully kills you and your wife and your ugly fucking family, Bill. Were you here, Dallas, when we had the clip of the, I think maybe Matt was, when de Blasio was walking down a sidewalk in New York and he goes to this New Yorker, hey, how you doing?

And the kid went off on him for like five minutes. How am I doing, you fucking asshole? And he starts following him. Fucking jerk off. And one of the guys protected de Blasio goes, okay, that's enough now. He's like, and fuck you too. It was such a New York moment. Anyways, here's another New Yorker.

Well, not originally. He moved, he grew up in New York, but he's not. Filmmaker Spike Lee, one of the laziest directors in the history of all of directing. Yes, he's made a couple good ones. Do the right thing. And here's why I don't like him. And I never did because he hates Whitey too. I'll never forget this. I'm in New York about six months, maybe not even a year. I'm in the

village. It's about 110 out. I'm walking on the sidewalk. I see a Escalade pull up. Spike Lee's on the passenger side on my side, right? They're at a red light, so I walk and look at him. He looks at me. He hates Italians. I've just watched any of his movies. Looks at me, and then they get a green light. I keep walking. He drives by me.

He literally does this to stare at me. Sticks his head out and fucking just gives me the stink eye. Nobody else around me. Almost makes me like him. But just, I want you to, Son of Sam, remember that movie he did? Again, it could have been so good, but because it might inquire him doing some research. But watch how he portrays Italians in that. And do the right thing. Not bad. He had Danny Aiello, you know, typical, got the wife beater on, slapping his kids, yelling, which a lot of that's true, but I'm just saying.

Anyways, they gave him the keys to the city. Why? He's going to break in anyways. Not him, you know, his friends. Nick, is that a racist joke? You're goddamn right. Put it in your fucking pipe and smoke it, his friends. Nick, is that a racist joke? You're goddamn right. Put it in your fucking pipe and smoke in New York. I liked, what's the one he has?

Has the word clock in it. Don't say clockwork, Arne. Not that. Clockers. I think it's clockers. He makes it, look, he makes it here and there, but again, overrated. Filmmaker Spike Lee is the latest New Yorker to receive the key to the city. Is this the way, you know, maybe he won't break windows and steal shit?

The city, Bill de Blasio gave it to him. Bill, this is what we think of that. That's your wife. She's in the ladies' room at TJ Maxx. You guys just came from Taco Bell for breakfast. For the second day in a row, the mayor presented the honor during his coronavirus briefing. Why would you do that? It's like this.

Got a crisis on her hand. Oh, before I leave, before I'm not mayor, look, I still like black people. I leave before I'm not mayor? Look, I still like black people. First lady and Charlene McCray, that's his wife, introduced the 64-year-old Lee and declared today is a good day, despite the surge in COVID. Today's a good day. Despite people getting, you know, the seriousness of the situation was not lost on Spike, who quickly, like a liberal, shifted to discussing the pandemic while accepting the honor.

Hate and love. You don't say which one you like. You know what I mean? What is that fucking? That tells me nothing. But again, I'm glad you dress like you you're gonna drive me home, fucking dope, we should have him on, he fucking hates Italian, driving here, I heard, I'm not even all Italian, I sure act like it, driving here, I heard about all these Broadway shows closing, oh no, we really can no. We really can't get back to our true king of the fag world

until we rid, no, king of culture, until we rid of this virus. Because if artists can't perform in front of New Yorkers or people who come from out of town, culture is our DNA. Culture is our DNA. Makes zero sense. Maybe that's what's causing the pandemic.

It's those DNAs. That's why you got to get a culture for them. What are you saying, you dink? You dress like a grape? The filmmaker has produced more than 35 films over the years, getting a total of one and a half stars, if you add them all up. Although not a native New Yorker, Lee grew up and spent much of his adult life

in the city. I've had enough. All right, get up. Yeah! Spike said, I love New York City. I'm a product of New York City, public education.

And look, I think that says enough, he says, that he started crying. I live and die in New York City. We get it, Spikeoo do the right thing was great i like to combine it with astronauts and call it do the right stuff i brought up boston in my N-word tonight, right? My ex-hometown.

Well, this has happened this past September. How I missed this is beyond me. But to me, it sums up where Boston is headed. And again, I was going to say, you guys are rolling the city with your horseshit. Video of an escalator malfunction that injured dozens in Boston in late September was released on Monday. I guess they sat on that one for a while, huh? Let's do it right before people go off for Christmas. It's a clip of people showing the chaos that erupted in the Massachusetts Bay. That's the MBTA authorities' Back Bay Station as people scrambled for safety.

I remember getting off there drunk on St. Patrick's Day. I couldn't find my way back to my apartment. I was so fucked up. I ended up near Northeastern or I don't know. WFXTV obtained a copy of the video, which shows the escalator reversing direction on September 26th and speeding up at accelerating rates from the transit authority. Somebody had to be punking somebody this

here we go let's take a look at the bostonians see your screen you can actually see people oh jesus joe biden was asked about he says i've been there and two injured families are now suing the transit agency as well as the company that maintains those escalators. Joe Biden was asked about it. He says, I've been there. Guarantee it was some fat chick in a pair of pumps who tripped and triggered the domino effect. So the up thing started in reverse,

turning it into like, you know, when you're at the gym, you get on the step machine. Look at that. Just a metaphor where my old hometown is headed. According to the transit authority, the escalator involved in the Back Bay Station incident remained closed. Oh, no, as of Monday. How are they going to? Oh, for you. How are they going to?

And the thing, I want to thank you guys. How are they going to... Oh, poor you. How are they going to... I want to thank you guys. As you know, guys, today's our last show before Christmas. I want to take a second and wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. A happy Ramadinga-dinga-dong-ding-dang-dang. And Kwanzaarini. I also want to thank those of you. Oh, don't forget, what's the Jewish one called?

Hanukkah. Hanukkah. I also want to thank those of you who have contributed and allowed me to do this show all year long. And it really is. I hate to sound like PBS. I've said it before, and it's true. This show does not happen without your support and the support of these people who recently contributed to the show

like they always do. Merry Christmas, Nick from Alaska. I hope it's Sarah Palin. Sean Powell, our buddy, who's got about a week left on his liver, I'd say. Florida. Jacobus. Olivier. Did I say that right? Louisiana. Thanks, Nick. Somebody named their kid Thanks, Nick. Arizona. Byron J. Hill, Washington. Kit Fortney. Sounds like a

defensive back for Michigan. Jason Oberg of New York. Kelly Hubbard. She's always there now, Michigan. Brian Breslin, Ohio. Austin Pardee, Nevada. Paul Sagmela, Connecticut. Look at that monkey go. Anthony Iaccello, New York. And Robert Eumanns of Georgia. And the new monthly supporters, which we love Lisa dis beg GD early

It's a tough one This biscotti and GD. I've had that it's delicious. A lot of garlic and lemon Carl Lowry of North Carolina Andre Lamothe whoa Canada Neil caps Andre Lamothe. Oh, Canada. Neil Capps. Illinois. Aloha Snack Bar.

Like, ala... Ala Snack... What am I trying to say? Ala Snack Bar! Ala Snack Bar! Minnesota. Tyler Moore of Ohio. Tyrone O'Reilly. That's not a made-up name, I am. Tanner Graves,

which sounds like a quarterback. William Kralowitz and Kevin Holm. Thank all of you guys so much for signing up, again, at nickdip.com or patreon or thecomicsgym, I should say,.com and being monthly subscribers.

We need as many of you guys as we can. Well, that's it for the week, folks. Listen, I really thank you guys. Oh. Yes. That's Dallas's breakfast. Got to love this guy. He brought in some Paul Masson brandy.

I put it in my coffee. I've had four coffees. So here's to you guys. Enjoy the snow. We won't. I think it's going to be 70 acres. I'll be in my bikini. If my wife got it for me. I got her a slingshot

and some fake teeth. You know, you know. So have a great Christmas Eve, a great Christmas Day, Flag Day, Arbor Day. We'll see you January 39th. No, we'll be back on January 3rd. I'm guessing that's a Monday, right? That makes me kind of happy, I guess.

But I just blew almost $70 on my wife at Christmas. Anyways, so you guys have a great, happy, Merry Christmas and great New Year's. I don't understand New Year's. Anyways, I won't go into that bit. But comicgym.com, nickdip.comcom You can get some Christmas stuff, stocking stuffers. And Cameo.com Hey, that would be a good Christmas gift. You want me to roast one of your friends or relatives,

go to Cameo.com and click on my face and it tells you how to do it. That's it. You guys think it? I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on January 3rd. Take care, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.