The Nick DiPaolo Show - Feckless FEMA Gets Exposed | Nick Di Paolo Show #1634

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Redneck Air Force, Milton the Monster and much more! Use promo code NICKDIP to double your money on your 1st MyBookie deposit. Head to https://www.mybookie.website/NICKDIP Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I can write it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks! Well hello, I had my thing in the wrong hole. How many times have you heard that, fellas? That's right.

Headphones, you know, there's two choices. I picked the wrong one. It's like me picking football. Last night the, you know, the Saints looked like they were half a ball team for, you know, and then they just...even with everybody...well, anyways, who cares? I'm betting flag football. Anyways, what did I want to say? Good to be with you on a Tuesday, I guess. Tuesday. On the show today, David Letterman's dentist I'm gonna try Clorox on the lower choppers making me fucking nuts but you know copy I don't

know what to say folks I'm just my macro thoughts, just the way they're pushing the race is so close, just makes me feel like there's something up. It can't be. It can't be. Do you understand that? It can't be. The fact that she's in there almost illegally, by the way, they just put her in there when they saw Biden was shit in the bed.

That's not the way fucking just put her in there when they saw Biden was shit in the bed that's that not the way fucking elections work in this country nobody's really screaming about that just like they didn't scream well president trump getting shot in the face that went away and i she's a fucking moron she was on 60 minutes made an asshole of herself by anybody's standards even the guys at 60 minutes and you're gonna tell me it's close it's creeping me out part of me feels like that means it's in the bag for her it doesn't fucking matter and again it's how much power those ten guys who run the world have and I think they got a lot so much so I think they're

manipulating the weather for these fucking storm Nick what are you a tin foil hat shut up they did it in. They've done it in other places our government. You know that? It's called seeding. Not seeding like at a wedding. Well that can cause a shit storm too. Seeding. Anyways, they're neck and neck. She's ahead in a couple. Fuck you. There's no way our no way this country is that shallow. Even if it's even if. Anyways, it's creeping me out.

It's I don't like that. They said it's that close and people are buying it. But then again, I'm going to play an interview later on. Tucker deal with Elon Musk. Tucker said not in this interview, but a few days ago that internal polling has trumped up in both sides. And he mentioned internal polling has no incentive to lie

because the public doesn't see it. So depending on, it doesn't matter though, if they, she's so nonchalant about how stupid she is, it's almost like I can sense that she knows it's in the friggin bag. Please tell me I'm wrong. How do you do that? 176 Nick. We used to have a Colin thing when I first started but too many stalkers, all these young broads knocking on my door. I couldn't take it. Anyhow, any he, I guess we'll get along with it. Excuse me. Let's start off, and this is a beautiful story because it just, it just, just portrays how feckless our government is in government agencies and bureaucracies.

The headline is Redneck Air Force to the rescue. Hundreds of special operations personnel in North Carolina, look at them, you can tell they're already more busy than a, you can tell they don't work for the government, I have formed their own homegrown rescue and supply operation in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene after they grew tired of waiting for the federal government Excuse me to get its act together. Well, we've been waiting for that since 1870 The post found an all-volunteer I repeat all-volunteer operation being run out of a Harley Davidson dealership. Can you get any more American? Okay, not out of a Kawasaki dealership. How did I remember Kawasaki?

Did they even make those little rice burners? Harley-Davidson dealership with ruthless efficiency and military precision. Excuse me while I swallow some cancer. I smoked a cigarette in the car on the way here you think that's a mistake anyways isn't that the isn't that the ball so ex-military guys and and like Dallas pointed out the real government should be worried when people like this can get their shit together that quick and be that effective.

And by the way, those guys, I'd say one out of a thousand might be a Democrat. The rest are on our side. Okay? So, that must make the government a little nervous when they can see how efficient actual civilians form a military, and there's tons of them. I'm just saying, Antifa, you don't scare us. Anyway, who's femur? Ex-Green Beret Adam Smith derisively responded when asked about the agency's presence on

the ground. The deadly storm ravaged the rural western part of the state. Let's check it out. That's all that was happening. Ex-soldier. I diverted down here to run air operations for what Savage Freedoms is doing. western part of the state. Let's check it out. That's all that was happening. I diverted down here to run air operations for what Savage Freedoms is doing. We're staging out of a business that just got massacred, but they're giving us the property to work an emergency operations center out of here. This mission out here is

slowly turning into the recovery aspect of it. So today alone we've had numerous supply runs with of it so today alone we've had numerous supply runs with requests from medical supplies to O2 to personnel rescue to recon in the areas we haven't been yet resupplies are going into the regions that cannot be accessible by ground and some of that is even by horseback or UTVs the bridges are blown so our recon teams are telling us where we can and cannot send vehicles and we're dropping birds right on top of them with resupply as we helicopter further we are communicating via Starlink let's be very clear this region of the world is talking because of Starlink and SpaceX so that's what's happening here outside

of Asheville North Carolina did you hear that folks that's ex-military and they're communicating through Starlink, which is Elon's invention in SpaceX, right? Okay, did you hear that? Last time I checked Elon was just a civilian. Do you see why the government should be shitting their pants? It really means we don't need them. I used to say, what, we need the military and shit? Something tells me we could get that done. Elon invents rockets like they're new flavors of ice cream.

Fuck me, sorry. Anyways, they have to be shaking their heads. This is just beautiful. It's poetry. This disaster has definitely proven without a shadow of a doubt FEMA's incompetence and incapability, he said, noting that the agency didn't even show up until Thursday, almost a week after the storm that has killed at least 232, nearly half of them in the mountainous west of the Tar Heel State, unwillingly to stand idly by after feeling his community was languishing

with inadequate support from the government, Smith enlisted the help of a few good men and women and probably some in between to take matters into their own hands. It's what the ingenuity of Americans, it's the beauty of this country. This Harley Davidson dealership has become a forward operating base complete with a fleet and by the way you know the Harley Davidson I was gonna say the Hells Angels started with a bunch of ex-military guys. Not that Harley Davidson but they like their harley davidson's hellzines i'm just making a connection oh fuck off complete with a fleet of 35 helicopters that have flown hundreds of rescue reconnaissance and resupply sorties i say this calls for action and now the dealership teams with uh uh current and former soldiers decked out in camo pants and army boots with handguns strapped to their chest and hips.

The way they'll be doing it if the shit goes down after the election. Crop duster pilots, helicopter tour guides, and special operations pilots, most of them off duty or retired military, God bless them, have answered the call from Smith and others and North Carolina's extensive military community. That's the other thing. North Carolina's huge with ex-military. They're using their own aircraft to fly doctors, so this isn't just for show. They're not bringing in bags, you know, bottles of water. I mean they're doing that too, but they're flying in doctors, medicine, generators, fuel, and food to isolated residents cut off from the world by the unprecedented floods to washed out mountain roads and wiped entire towns off the map something

the fucking FEMA couldn't do supplies and fuel for an operation of this magnitude doesn't come cheap but the group has relied entirely get this on donations including around a hundred ninety thousand dollars raised through a magnitude doesn't come cheap, but the group has relied entirely get this on donations, including around $190,000 raised through a GoFundMe page. Once again, American civilians reaching into their own pockets because they know it won't be fucking wasted like your tax dollars. This actually goes. This is making Kamala look so stupid right now or Biden, whoever's running the

fucking country, just the left in general is making you look like this is not Kamala looks so stupid right now or Biden whoever's running the fucking country just the left in general is making you look like this is not helping you at all not that you you know weren't sucking on your own hard enough red not redneck if out of Harley Davidson dealership my god it doesn't get any more American that they have to be seriously. They have to be going what the fuck Yeah, they got there almost a week later And I did that side story yesterday, right? The lady called him stranded in a house and the FEMA people so we can't go around the road closed sign

Think about that you think a military guy who has seen action or not seen action do you think that's a big deal to him he's been shot at in a helicopter and whatnot you silly bastards of course not anyhow calm down Nick okay time to make a little money hey don't let football season pass you by without placing a bet or two with my bookie it's the best to get in on the action this year and every year with promos like weekly risk-free boosts my bookie will even refund your wager if you're wrong so it's a total win-win situation it's a great time of year because you know my

Bruins are coming up I will throw a few bucks on a Bruins here and there and also College football when the playoffs come along. I don't have to wait that long, but it makes it easy That's why I love it You can even bet on horse racing or play games like rags to witches and Buffalo cash pool When you're ready to get started just click the link in the show notes sign up and you're ready to bet Use promo code Nick dip to claim a bonus that doubles your money on your very first deposit you heard that right? Double your money with code Nick dip before you even place a bet My bookie plus is the lock of the century bet on anything anywhere anytime and make your season a

Winning season we thank my bookie for sponsoring the show today. Headline, Milton the Monster. I had to touch on this. I usually don't do weather. Since I was fired under the Weather Channel, I used to play the saxophone under the local H. I used to say that on stage it would murder. Right? You ever notice that you get porn music with your weather? It'll be like Buffalo, low in the 40s. I'm leaving the house with an umbrella and a hard-on. That's how Kenny G really made his money. Who? Kenny G? Kenny G spent a hundred grand on Julliard. Now his music is being played over fucking satellite shots of Milton. God bless that curly haired freak. Notice I cleaned that one up. I'm trying to keep it 20. Have I gone all, I haven't said anything bad, have I?

Dallas has to fucking watch me and monitor me at the same. Milton the Monster sounds like something out of Sesame Street. From Noah Bergen, Orlando meteorologist, that's Noah Bergen. This is nothing short of astronomical he says this is a guy who you know lives for whether I am at a loss for words to meteorologically well I said that good describe you you the storms small I and intensity 897 megabytes I'm guessing that's wrong I'm guessing that's wrong. What is it, meteorological balls?

Mb, pressure with 180 mile per hour winds max sustained with winds and gusts up to 200 plus miles an hour. I don't know, like, is that the small of the eye, the strong of the storm maybe? I don't know it like is that the smaller the eye the stronger the storm maybe I don't know doesn't matter the government created I'll call the White House This is now the fourth strongest hurricane ever recorded by pressure on this side of the world The eye is tiny at nearly three point eight miles. That is tiny consider. This thing is 3.8 miles wide the eye is It's tidy. Consider this thing is 3.8 miles wide, the eye is.

This hurricane is nearing the mathematical limit of what Earth's atmosphere over this ocean water can produce. That's why I want, it can't be the government, because that would be too efficient. And it can't be. This has to be a natural disaster. They couldn't be this has to be a natural disaster they couldn't do this although and I'm not kidding you they have in certain parts when we got shit going on I I'm not making it up folks okay that's fucking huge

my brother and sister have places down in the Naples area. This thing is headed like right to the Tampa St. Pete, about 160 miles north of I think Naples, but look at the size of it. So everybody, every county, they like, boot it, especially if you live in St. Pete. And I love how the guys down there like, get out now, because if we lose anybody coming to look for you idiots, which they always do, there's always an asshole like me going, I'm staying. I worked on my lawn all summer. I'm not going to.

Highways out of Florida are backed up for miles as panicked residents attempt to flee the state before Hurricane Milton's landfall later this week. Hurricane Milton stands at a category five right now. It went from two to five in like, in 24 hours. The highest rating on the Sapphire Simpson, ooh, Sapphire Simpson, they're good. Hurricane wind scale.

It's expected to have wind stronger than 157 miles per hour. In Hillsborough County, home to nearly one and a half million people in the Tampa Bay area, residents are scrambling as local leadership orders the evacuation of Zones A and B. Essentially, anyone living immediately on the coast or just outside after the destruction, I didn't miss the video yet did I After the destruction caused by Hurricane Helene many are heading these heating these warnings and leaving as soon as they can on I 75 and I 275 northbound leading out of Tampa area they have both faced nearly standstill Traffic all day if you don't believe me take a look at this footage. Oh God all day if you don't believe me take a look at this footage oh god

you know that's a new yorker move down there alright we get it look at that oh god and I said to Dallas I go I wonder if you know when people are in the people who have had enough New York taxes and all that shit and they pack up and go we're out of here I don't think they fucking think about that part because they write most of them go I'm getting it well it's a very skinny state anyways the dicks hanging out and you get Sarasota and ain't I mean so it doesn't matter you're too close to a shore almost you can move a little inland but um goodness gracious I text back with my brother

and shit and uh he's cool as a cucumber I'd be like bucket let the house go. I'm going to Oregon. No, I can't. That's communist. I don't know where I'd go. But uh, yeah, heed the warning folks. Not that I'm Joe cautious. I do like to, I gotta be honest, I have a little admiration of people go, fuck you, I'm staying. And then you see them on the news blow by in a lawn chair at a hundred miles an hour yeah as they go by I'm staying I'm staying god damn it how did I miss that one Dallas I'm staying right here anyways that's creepy we're making light of a but seriously but I don't give a fuck doesn't affect me all right no I do we actually caught the

ass end of the last one Helene and it knocked power out for a couple days of my house So no sex for the wife Plug it. Oh, wait a minute. Those are batteries They're like lying to me what she was lying to me I'm like you got to plug it in people at home ago. What are fucking what is she masturbating with a butter-churner the house is shaking his head going just pull the teeth all right oh by the way for those you guys right now on mug club stick around for the second half of my show the rest is you're gonna miss the second half it only gets funnier and I

get fucking wacky because I'm drinking stick around for a, the rest of you is you're going to miss the second half. It only gets funnier and I get fucking wackier because I'm drinking. Stick around for a second. The rest of yous go to nickdip.com. That's my website. Click on the whatever. Sign up for Mug Club. And if you do, you're going to get the rest of this show, my entire show, Steven Crowder's entire show, which is worth the subscription itself. And I'm not shitting you. The quality is in the work they do not to mention Alex Jones pops in and out all the time with Stephen very funny Brian Callan a whole lot more the undercover team who breaks national stories you know they're going to cover with cameras and shit so sign up for Mug Club and when

you're at NickDip.com click on the tour button. I got a day coming up about a month from now November 9th Bridgeview Center Theatre in Ottumwa, Iowa. I looked up a word Ottumwa that's Indian for hilarious guinea Ottumwa, Iowa Bridgeview Center Theatre November 9th See you there also This is what you're gonna be missing if you don't watch the second half of the show. Tucker Carlson, who's touring the country and interviewing you know types of huge players, Elon Musk type people in front of a live audience, he

goes out and speaks off his head, Tucker is just brilliant, I always said that. And when he sits down, Elon Musk, I don't know, Elon seemed high. He was giggling at everything. So was Tucker, actually. But two brainiacs with a really interesting, I took a few clips from that. Also, long COVID, new study on what that does to you permanently. And this hits home with me because my wife is, since's had it she's never been right that's why I gotta get a new one I what and action what did I say no it does it does damage very interesting study so stick around for that if you don't goo gobble try to clean that up. Hi, good night everybody. I'm dead Thanks for watching!