The Nick DiPaolo Show - First Amendment Comes Last at NBC | Nick DiPaolo Show #365

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

Donate blood and platelets: https://www.halfpints.childrenshospital.org/ Twat assaults old lady. Just a couple squats on the beach. Michaelson too white for ABC. Thank you "Gofa Cureself" from Wakefie...ld, NH for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, Nick DiPaolo. I'm sure you're like me. You have to be scared of the censorship that's going on for people who think like we do. And by that I mean who are for the truth and not a politically correct left-wing jerk-off. There's very few places you can go. This is one of them, the Nick DiPaolo Podcast. If you want to do that, go to nickdip.com. You can sign up there. You can go to patreon.com, become a monthly member, and then you get access to over 300 shows I've already done. You get to ask me a question.
Starting point is 00:00:28 All kinds of benefits there. And remember, subscribe on YouTube and make sure you stay subscribed because they're actually unsubscribing people. Anyways, that's proof that you need a show like this. I thank you for your time. So now I want you to enjoy the show so enjoy Oh yeah, welcome to the show, folks, on a Wednesday. Coming to you from Georgia.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Wednesday ready. Holy goddamn shit. You know you want crazy motherfucking walk, man. I have Nick the pig as a friend mr. de palo and no one could be as nasty as as you pretend to be unless they they really wanted to be disliked I want all of you to enjoy your cake, folks. Enjoy it. Yellow cake from North Korea. Yum, yum. Anyways, what is going on? Let's get right to it, shall we?
Starting point is 00:02:15 Oh, no, real quick. My manager, Tommy, has a daughter who has some kind of a chronic problem, blood problem related to her heart, whatever. They have to go into Boston every few months or so. And he's there now, and he wanted to let me know. He's going there to donate blood platelets, which she needs. And they're critically low because of the whole COVID thing. People weren't coming out to donate blood. So they're critically low because of the whole COVID thing. People weren't coming out to donate blood. So they're critically low on that.
Starting point is 00:02:47 So I want to put up a link, just halfpints.childrenshospital.org. If you go there, you can fill out information, and maybe you can help them out because, like I said, the COVID thing really dried up a lot of stuff. And, I mean, during COVID, people weren't getting their chemo treatments and all kinds of stuff. So do a good deed and halfpints.childrenshospital.org. Thank you so much. Let's get right to it, huh?
Starting point is 00:03:19 The media, I mean, we get tired of talking about how fucking biased. They're not even trying to hide it anymore. But it's getting creepy. Now you've got broadcast networks teaming up with Google. In this case, it was NBC. And Google was calling them out on their fucking shenanigans. That's how bad it's getting. But they don't even try to hide it, although NBC did this time.
Starting point is 00:03:41 But you remember when Obama got married. You remember when Obama got married, got married. You remember when Obama got married, right? When he when he got elected, NBC, no network did more to get him elected. NBC carried his water forever and it was sickening. NBC News is facing intense backlash for apparently influencing Google to punish two conservative news sites over what was deemed offensive coverage of the george floyd uh protest can you stay cat you are fake news sir how about the balls on these people they're gonna decide what's offensive what the fuck and this is nbc and it gets worse because they're working with somebody in the UK.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Now being reprimanded by people in other countries on what's right and wrong, what's offensive. In a report published Tuesday afternoon, NBC News claimed Google banned the Federalist and Zero Hedge, two conservative sites, from Google ads for pushing unsubstantiated claims about the Black Lives Matter movement. I don't know who decides that. Google later pushed back, claiming that the Federalist was never demonetized. And adding, we work with them to address issues on their site related to the comment section. Even that sends shivers up my spine we have strict publisher policies that govern the content ads can run on and explicitly prohibit derogatory content that promotes hatred there's that word again hatred anytime you disagree with a lefty it's
Starting point is 00:05:18 hatred i said that on tough crowd almost 20 years ago like what's what's this new, oh, you're a hater, and it turned into hatred. Anytime they disagree with you on the right, it's hatred and intolerance. I don't know how it works, but that shit, you know, it gets traction if they say it enough because they have all the megaphones. Promotes hatred, intolerance, violence, or discrimination based on race from monetizing a google spokesperson initially told nbc news nbc however did not link to the derogatory content
Starting point is 00:05:54 from the federalists or zero uh zero hedge what's that tell you about that fucking lying but it's all lies in addition it, it appeared it was NBC News inquiry into the matter that prompted Google's actions in the first place. Google's ban of the websites comes after the company was notified of research conducted by the Center for Countering Digital Hate. Just the fucking titles send a shiver up your spine. That's a Britishprofit that combats online hate misinformation oh so now the brits are going to decide they found that 10 u.s based websites have published what they say are racist articles about the protests and projected that the websites would make millions of dollars through Google ads, NBC News reported.
Starting point is 00:06:46 NBC News' Adele Momoko Frazier, the London-based journalist behind the report, put her picture up, appeared to celebrate the result of her reporting by thanking the two groups for their hard work and collaboration. reporting by thanking the two groups for their hard work and collaboration. Raz? How to be on top of it, Raz. What are you doing over there? She also used Black Lives Matter hashtag.
Starting point is 00:07:16 You got to. No, I have to get it. You put it up when we ran through the show. From one of the phrases? Yeah. Didn't you? Or is that another story you sure which one's a uk the serial one was from the uk and so is this broad no picture of this bar should be in there you don't want me to tell you every day what pictures to choose, do you? All right. Come on now. Well, anyways, the point of it is this. Well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc? How do you mean that?
Starting point is 00:07:57 She likes a rigged game, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Anyway, she put that up, Miss frazier moco coco fucking she quickly deleted the tweet and reshared it uh but with uh without the activist hashtag nbc news listen to the title of this of this agency nbc news verification unit are you guys getting creeped by the orwellian uh vocabulary nbc news verification unit executive producer i can't even pronounce these fucking name ruar read r-u-a-r-i-d-h arrow appeared similarly to delete a tweet that included hashtag black lives matter later
Starting point is 00:08:40 tuesday afternoon adweek reporter scott nover said that according to a Google spokesman, NBC News got it wrong and that the Federalist could be demonetized but has not. The Google spokesman also suggested to Nover that the site's comment section was in violation of Google's policies but not any of its articles. So here's NBC lying through their fucking teeth and using a British agency to help them out. Google later addressed the controversy and appeared to debunk some of NBC news reporting. This is what they said. The Federalist, these are, the Federalist, it's a very, you know, it's a conservative, it's like a real intellectual magazine, a publication. They don't, you know, the Federalist was never demonetized. Google Communications tweeted, we worked with them to address issues on their site related
Starting point is 00:09:32 to the comment section, which they should leave alone. Our policies do not allow ads to run against dangerous or derogatory content. Why are you sticking your nose in their comments? They can't control what people say with their comments. You i mean they're trying to fucking whitewash it all even when people in the comp you can say anything you want you used to be able to we uh our policies don't allow ads to run against dangerous or derogatory content which includes comments on sites and we offer guidance and best practices to publish us on how to comply. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Thank you. I guess because what? They're a private company. They can do that. This fucking Google and NB, they have to be broken up. Here's Adele, Momoko Frazier. That is not Adele, Momoko Frazier.
Starting point is 00:10:21 That's the one I found. It's not her. That's the girl. Raj, you're having a bad day, dude. That's the girl from a story we're doing later about Siri, isn't it? No. You just pulled her up?
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah. Let me see it again. Really? She's white? Yeah. Coco Frazier? Momoko Frazier. Momoko Frazier. Is that right? Momoko Frazier Momo Co Frazier
Starting point is 00:10:46 Momo Cunt Frazier yes that's how racist I am I assumed it was a black woman and you'll see why now I'm confusing all white people look alike we're gonna put a white picture when we do the
Starting point is 00:11:01 Sari thing they have a new app when you get pulled over the broad looks just like her I I'm confusing white people. I am a goddamn racist to the core. Somebody's going to take that and run with it eventually when the show is big enough. That's right, folks. As Colin Quinn says, you're as gay as a purple dress shirt. No, that was, he actually said on Tough Crowd, he says, Joey, Joey, I forget his last name, he goes, he's as Puerto Rican as a purple dress shirt.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Here it is. I like it. Remember, I got black and blood on me thanks to Raz's people raping my grandmothers on a hill somewhere. Great, great, great, great, great grandmothers. Actually, that was Sicilian, but let's get right to it more bias in the news not that you need to know this news anchor alex michelson of los angeles fox affiliate tweeted monday he had been told by an executive at abc news that he could not become a network correspondent because ABC was not hiring white men for the job. Sounds like a goddamn lawsuit to me.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Counselor. Counselor. He related, by the way, this goes on all the time, folks. You know how many frigging, remember the San Francisco firefighters, the white guys who actually had higher scores on their tests, but they hired the minorities anyway. Remember they were so, this shit goes on every day. White privilege, my cock. It's called black privilege is what it is. He related his story of discrimination in the context of newly emerging allegations about racism at ABC News. Michelson linked to an article by Yashir Ali at the Huffington Post,
Starting point is 00:12:50 which is the most left-wing site you can find, about Barbara Fedida, a powerful ABC News executive, who allegedly has an extensive history of insensitive comments. Fedida is alleged to have made a reference to picking cotton while speaking to Good Morning America co-host Robin Roberts, who is African-American, and she had this to say. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady by the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird.
Starting point is 00:13:21 And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's and eat like a field hand and die. in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkerson and eat like a field hand. Fadida, who has been placed on administrative leave pending an internal investigation, said through her attorney, throughout my career, I have been a champion for increased diversity
Starting point is 00:13:36 in network news. Yes. And what does increased diversity really mean? No white people. That's what diversity means. So she's almost admitting it only not using the right words actually obviously liar liar whore liar whore you know it
Starting point is 00:13:51 splitting that splitting afro hairs with that comment what the fuck is going on in watch goodfellas the other night for the i don't know 456 times about when they're setting the fucking place on fire, the bar, they're burning it. He's in the car, Pesci, trying to get Henry D to go on a double date with him. What the fuck? I do, I fuck, I'm just asking you, Henry. You don't have this fucking jukebox. You might have a whole lot of money, but you're a motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:14:19 By the end of the scene, he's losing his mind. The five towns, are you fucking, you better, no. What, no, Henry, what the fuck, I do favors for you. I'm trying to bang this broad,
Starting point is 00:14:31 what are you doing? She won't go out with Italians, she won't be alone with the Italians. He goes, imagine that, prejudice against Italians, a Jew broad. I love my people.
Starting point is 00:14:45 And again, I'm more Irish than English. That surprised me. If 23 and me knows anything. They take a swab from your cheek, you know, when they do that. What they should do is go through my stool. And they'll find fucking zucchini, pizza crust. I'll be 400% Italian when they get down with it. We got pappardelle in here, Boar's Head.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Hey, I like this. Yesterday we covered a few black people who get it. You know? And now they have to speak up because it's white liberals, folks. They're the ones, those little white punks in the country of CHOP. It's not Chaz anymore. It's chop. But they infiltrated Black Lives Matter, although Black Lives Matter was fucking, again, responsible for nine cops' deaths.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Remember about four years back before the little whiteys got involved with them. But here's a young black girl straightening out. I'm guessing the woman's kind of a lib because she's got like a fucking safari hat on, which means she's not interested in dick at all. But watch this young black girl who knows her history of the Democrat Party. I bet you she saw Dinesh D'Souza's Death of a Nation. Mr. Raz watched it last night, said it was tremendous. He gave it three drumsticks up.
Starting point is 00:16:14 All right, watch this black girl school this white liberal brad batch. I would be in the same position you're in, so I'm not even mad at you, baby. I don't want to see any news because it's cold. Oh, fake news. This is the thing. I know people don't, baby. I don't want to see any news because it's all fake news. This is the thing. I know people don't like Trump. I understand that. But let me tell you something.
Starting point is 00:16:33 If I had to pick between him and Joe Biden, I'm not voting for Joe Biden. You want to see a bunch of black people go to jail by the next four years? Put Joe Biden in jail. Watch what happens. You want to see black men get killed substantially? She's saying that because he worked on the reform at prison reform act by and remember, but go ahead. You've never seen before. Put your body in and watch what happens.
Starting point is 00:16:51 These Democrats, and I'm sorry to say this, I'm not trying to be racist, but they hate black people. These are the same people who fought to keep slavery in. These are the same people who built the KKK. These are the same people who hated us from the beginning. The Republican party is the party of the blacks. Black freedom of the Republican Party is the only party that the black people actually assisted
Starting point is 00:17:09 in finding. There's more, right? No, I didn't! You serious? Alright. How about a hand for that girl? Really? Because she made a couple other salient points, but I loved it.
Starting point is 00:17:34 She's she wasn't getting excited. She's like, I don't and I don't want to sound right. But it's true. The Democrats don't give a fuck about you black people. You know that Jesus Christ. You've been voting. They've been taking you for granted for about 60 years now. Responsible for Jim Crow, the fucking Klan. And then she explained the whole thing
Starting point is 00:17:54 about the, you know what, the fucking Civil War and how people once in the Union, you had these people down here and once the Unionists won, they didn't need, you know, they came to the South and the people down South and once the unionists won, they didn't need, you know, they came to the south and the people down south, the real racists, went to the north because they needed the industry.
Starting point is 00:18:12 And it was an excellent lesson. Anyways, and there was no bottles thrown, no punches. White chick with a safari hat just going that girl was fucking great which reminds me of Archie bunker given his theory on blacks and oh shit did I pick the wrong clip no this is Archie on gay people I guess I don't know what the fuck it is yeah Rosie grid does needlepoint Would you call him a fruitcake? There's no such thing as a colored fag. No such thing as a colored fag.
Starting point is 00:18:53 You don't believe me? Walk up to any colored guy and ask him, are you a fag? I thought that was him on A Black President. I can play more if you want. You can play what? More of the clip. Which clip?
Starting point is 00:19:07 The black. The girl? Yeah, you want the rest of it? Why? You got to, eh? You cut it short. No, I was right. Huh?
Starting point is 00:19:14 No, all right. No, that's enough. Okay. They got the, but she was great explaining how the, you know, she knows her shit. And I'm sure, you know know that'll get deleted somewhere um this made me so angry i i if i was related to this old lady i would wait for this kid i don't know where they brought him to jail i would fucking wait and wait and i'd do what that guy did remember there's a famous clip out there from the 70s where a guy's kid got molested by some guy and they were transferring the guy to prison you guys have seen this it's on the internet and the father of the kid who was
Starting point is 00:19:52 molested was at the airport pretending he was talking on a pay phone and as the cops are escorting the guy through he fucking hangs up the phone walks over bang nick that's vigilante justice. Yeah, well, the fucking cops aren't going to help anymore and whatever. But I'm just saying, if I was this related to this old lady, I would wait for this fucking kid forever. And you would too, people, if you loved your loved ones.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Well, I don't believe, I do believe in an eye for eye. It's the only part of the Bible that's right. I hope. The hell shit, I'm a little nervous. I spank it a lot. Apparently that's like murdering somebody. Say hello to the new Hitler. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:39 New York City police say they have arrested the dirty little motherless fuck, a suspect seen on video shoving a 92. Let me let me do it. Let me report it the way it should be. New York City police say they have arrested a black suspect seen on video shoving a white 92 year old woman in what appears to be a random attack. Check out this. Why did they pixelating her? Huh?
Starting point is 00:21:27 What does she have, a Van Halen t-shirt on they can't show? What the fuck? Look at that. You fucking. Look, he looks back. Oh, God. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. 31-year-old Rashid Brimage.
Starting point is 00:21:44 And white people are racist. That's what we keep. It's white people. We're the racists. Look at the right side of his face. Looks different than the left. It almost looks like two people. But, you know, here's more of an example of how biased the legal system is against people of color.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Police called the goon who knocked the woman to the ground in a random attack. He was a convicted sex offender with more than 100 prior arrests, according to the police. Police sources said cops recognized the attacker who has dozens of run-ins with law enforcement, including 101 arrests. But it's so racist, the legal system, against black and brown people. You can report these fucking stories. It's not an isolated incident. We're never going to get context to racial
Starting point is 00:22:36 and racism in this country until we can call black people racist, which they fucking are, and white people. Everybody's a little racist, okay? As far, and white people, everybody's a little racist, okay? But we're not going to, as far as the black-white thing, that's what the powers above turning into us against each other, until you start reporting every time a white person is a victim of a black crime, and put that on the fucking news. But you know what they say? It happens so much, it's not even news. But if you show a few of these things, like, just give it a little balance, you know?
Starting point is 00:23:08 And then the Al Sharptons of the world, the Jesse Jacks, they'd have to go home, fold up shop. But again, because the mainstream media has been cherry-picking stories that only portray blacks and brown people as victims, this is what it's brought. A woman 92 years old was taken to a local hospital in stable condition. She reportedly hit her head on a nearby fire hydrant when she fell.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Raz, that's your grandmother? You don't wait for that kid. I'd go visit him in prison every day. I'd go find where his family lives. What a fucking... that's not isolated. Fucking in Brooklyn, what, not even a year ago, 89-year-old woman raped by a black dude just out of jail.
Starting point is 00:23:58 We'll report it all. Hmm. It's going to get his ass torn up sex offender that's the first thing they should announce when they put them in general population sex offender anyways a very anti-cop uh environment right now in the country thanks to cocksuckers like de blasio and other mayors and and black lives matter and and and fucking lebron james and everybody who's lying about how racist this country is nypd said it found no criminality by shake shack you know the restaurant uh by shake shack workers in connection with a hospitalization of three offices who drank milkshakes they believe may have been spiked with bleach.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Hey, hey. After a thorough investigation by the NYPD Manhattan South investigators, it has been determined that there was no criminality by Shake Shack's employees. Of course, you think even if they did find evidence in this environment with George Floyd and all the other shit, these Atlanta stuff that they would even dare admit it. Chief of Detectives Rodney Harrison. I again, I'm assuming black guy was one of the best patriots ever. Now he's a police chief. This guy was a fucking headhunter. Loved him. But they did an investigation
Starting point is 00:25:28 and it's kind of odd how only the three cops got sick. Police sources said the case has been deemed unintentional after it appeared that whatever cleaning solution was used on the shake machine wasn't rinsed off enough.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Hmm. The cops immediately noticed a funny taste when they sipped the drinks from the chain's location on Broadway near Fulton Street shortly after 9 p.m. They were taken to Bellevue Hospital and have since been released. We've done many stories. We've done many stories here, right?
Starting point is 00:26:00 Starbucks, remember? Fucking ref... Spitting in coffee with coffee. you know, people spitting in and writing fucking anti-cop messages, refusing to be served in like fucking certain restaurants. That's that's the time we're living in. Meanwhile, the country's on fire and they're the only thing that stands between us and the goons. But the morons at these restaurants, you know, they hate the cops. We know who they are. All three are assigned to the 42nd Precinct in the Bronx, but were on detail in Manhattan at the time.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Investigators recovered two of the cups that the officers threw out after trying to drink the shakes. The Police Benevolent Association said in a warning letter to police officers earlier that the incident was yet another safety issue. PBA President Pat Lynch wrote that several officers who had been assigned to a protest detail stopped at the Shake Shack. He said at some point during their mail period, the officers discovered that a toxic substance believed to be bleach had been placed in their beverages. Son of a whore! been placed in their beverages and uh he added when new york city police officers cannot even take a meal without coming under attack it is clear that environment in which we work has deteriorated to a critical level we cannot afford to let our guard down for even uh one moment he's exactly right about that. You are correct, sir.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Can you fucking imagine? So he doesn't buy the investigation. Anybody else get sick? Why don't we get video of everybody that had a shake that day? I'm sure there's a video in the restaurant. Anybody else taste bleach? Could have been cum. A lot of broads say it tastes like bleach.
Starting point is 00:27:50 I don't know. When girls say that, I go, so you know what bleach tastes like, you psycho? I'm letting you blow me and you're drinking bleach shooters? When I was single, I had a girl lick my behind, and the next day she wouldn't use my toothbrush because of germs. The fuck's going on? It's a true story. I told Norm Macdonald that. He almost fell off my couch fucking laughing.
Starting point is 00:28:20 What the fuck? What do you think's in my mouth? One of the very few times that ever happened, I'll be honest with you. Even I was a little nervous. It's amazing because I was dysentery. I just got back from Africa and no, come on. Now quit being gross.
Starting point is 00:28:40 This is the reason you can't cut the fucking lineup at Fox Nation. Ladies and gentlemen, time for a commercial to make some money. Hey, guys, here's a brand new shirt that our friends at thedonaldstuff.com just put out today. Check this out. Defend the police. Very nice. That should be a bestseller, okay?
Starting point is 00:29:01 Especially after the stories I'm telling you. They have them them black and white so they're not racist do we have any yellow ones and red ones anyways uh yeah now now now's a great time because the police reputation is just being tarnished and smeared by liberal fucks. Liberalism has to be eradicated. It really is a mental illness. And will somebody please destroy the studios? You know.
Starting point is 00:29:36 It's a commercial. What am I doing? Anyways, lots of great stuff. These are brand new. And, you know, you can support the cops. TheDonaldStuff.com. TheDonaldStuff.com. TheDonaldStuff.com. Go there and check out all their gear. When you use the promo code Nick, you get 10% off everything on the website.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Go to TheDonaldStuff.com. Pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat and support these guys. We thank them very much for being behind this show. much for being behind this show. So I just told you a story about the cops that thought there might have been bleach in their milkshakes in New York. Then we cut to this, just proving it's not isolated. This is a female police officer. She breaks down on camera after working like an 18-hour day. Down here, it's right in Richmond Hill, right, Raz? Which is not far from this studio, by the way. But just again, keep in mind,
Starting point is 00:30:30 these are the people that you call when somebody breaks into your house or whatever the fuck, and they're being tarnished. They go into other people's neighborhoods. You know, my buddy's staying with me. He was a cop for 30-something years in Miami. It'd be two in the morning, and he's in ghettos trying to protect people.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Yet the left has got half the country thinking they're racist because six out of fucking 10 million cops are fucking a little nuts. But check out, I felt bad for them. She'd just get done. I don't work in 12 hours, whatever. Comes out with my coffee and just the coffee and she hands it to me and I have my window down and that's all she hands me is a coffee. Pause.
Starting point is 00:31:17 She was waiting in the parking lot for, I don't know how long she went in and order the food and, uh, no, she ordered at the drive-thru whatever and she she's waiting forever then a girl comes out and says what did you order goes back in comes back out with just the coffee but that was an accident you know but anyways go ahead so i told her i said don't bother with the food because right now i'm too nervous to take it it doesn't matter how she's too nervous because she doesn't know what's in it. That's where we are. That's what she meant by that.
Starting point is 00:31:50 They're obviously fucking with her. It was like, what was it? A fucking hash brown and a fucking English muffin. Something like that. Something that can be done in 10 seconds. Go ahead. How many hours I've been up it doesn't matter what i've done for anyone right now i'm too nervous to take a meal from mcdonald's
Starting point is 00:32:16 because i can't see it being made think about that i don't know what's going on with people nowadays I don't know what's going on with people nowadays, but please just give us a break. Please just give us a break. Can I be happier? Yeah. Yeah. Who couldn't? I've been in this for 15 years, and I've never, ever had such anxiety about waiting for McDonald's drive-thru food. So just have a heart, and if you see an officer, just tell them thank you.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Because I don't hear thank you enough anymore Well you can't You're a blonde-haired blue-eyed devil According to the people that serve you a fast food restaurant What the hell's going on out here? Guarantee that I'm fucking hating it Ha ha ha Ha ha ha I'm fucking hating it uh inshallah
Starting point is 00:33:13 oh I can't take it no more Raz what we got a question up in this motherfucker? Yes, sir. Yeah. Go get it. Go for, go for cure yourself. What they're trying to say is go fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:33:34 That's not even Wakefield, New Hampshire. You really fucked that one up, pal. Death notwithstanding, meaning dead or alive, any error. If you were to have a Nick DiPaolo roast by other comedians, who would you pick? Thought I'd ask something not having to do with COVID or riots or coup attempts.
Starting point is 00:33:55 What other comedians would be on the dais? Oh, Christ. Phyllis Diller. Elaine Boosler, Carol Burnett, all the hard hitters. No, of course, they would be my buddies, most of them, because they know my flaws. And that's the idea. Patrice, obviously.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Jimmy Norton. He's a fucking hitter. Dead or alive, though. Richard Pryor. Fucking Pryor. He'd close it, obviously. You white motherfucker. Fucking racist cuckoo.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Jay Leno. I'm going to say it again, folks. You only know him from The Tonight Show, most of the young fans. Google Jay Leno on The David Letterman Show appearances in the 80s. And you watch, he was the fucking monster. He was on like three times a month and would just steal the show. And so Jay would be there. Sam Kinison. Bill Hicks, who probably wouldn't come.
Starting point is 00:35:10 He's just too cool. But Kinison, he cuts deep. Eliza Schlesinger, because she's a piece of ass. Bonnie McFarlane, who's a very funny woman. Brett Butler, believe it or not, one of the best
Starting point is 00:35:28 comedians ever. Soupy Sales and Rip Taylor with his salsa bottle. That's it. Robert Klein, too. Maybe my favorite. Robert Klein. I keep forgetting about my favorite because uh Norm Macdonald sorry how big's the roast how long is it I just named 52 people staying on the cops
Starting point is 00:35:53 uh stories um we got a new invention out there tell Siri you're getting pulled over and this iPhone shortcut
Starting point is 00:35:59 will record your interaction uh with the police I don't know nothing about that yeah well you know what I don't have to do that you know why because I behave when the cops. I don't know nothing about that. Yeah, well, you know what? I don't have to do that. You know why? Because I behave
Starting point is 00:36:07 when the cops pull over. Don't give an app that records the fire. By the way, the police are recording it anyways between a body cam and the car, the dash cam they have.
Starting point is 00:36:16 But I don't need that. Here's what you do. Black, white, Chinese, Japanese, fucking Afghani. When you get pulled over by the cops, you know what you do? You put your hands on the fucking, then again, I don't have 10 warrants out for my arrest, but unless you're afraid to go back to prison, you put your hands on the fucking wheel,
Starting point is 00:36:36 you shut the car off. If it's nighttime, you put your dome light on and you stay like that so they can see your hands and they walk up to you and you know what they appreciate that a thousand percent and i've been pulled over i had my license take away in high school twice drove like a fucking asshole i know that surprises you people i was always in a hurry just trying to get to a lot of pussy i was never going to get. Just behave. How about that? Be polite to the fucking cop. Once again, this comes out because the cops, you can't trust them when you're getting it. Fucking Siri. And by the way, if you have Siri in your house and shit, I hope you like being snooped on. Fucking Pelosi's listening to you and your girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Fuck. By saying, hey, Siri, I'm getting pulled over. You know what that's going to turn into? Every black person. Hey, Siri, I'm getting beat up. Hey, I'm getting pulled over the shortcut, which a user must first and saw themselves. Well, count me out. That's a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:37:46 We'll pause any music that you're playing, you know, like hip hop, like fuck the police. You like turn that down, turn down the brightness of your phone, turn on the do not disturb mode to block any incoming calls. Open your front facing camera and start video recording. Fuck I could use that at home. Hey, Siri, I'm getting a handjob. Pop.
Starting point is 00:38:14 It also sends a message, uh, predesignated contact, letting them know that you're being pulled over. That's great. So, black guy gets pulled over and 81 of his friends show up. Or Puerto Rican, or white. Sorry, I don pulled over and 81 of his friends show up. Or Puerto Rican or white. Sorry, I don't want to be racist on the show. Once you stop the recording, it sends a copy of the video to bloopers and practical jokes.
Starting point is 00:38:37 The dick. No. To a pre-designated contact. Gives you the option to send it to your iCloud or Dropbox. That's too much. Just the facts, man. The police shortcut was first created back in 2018 by Redditor Robert Peterson. But it has been recently updated to fix any bugs.
Starting point is 00:38:56 It is now called the I'm being pulled over and cops are killers. Watch it. The shortcut received attention when it launched two years ago but it's been getting more traction on social media due to the overwhelming call for police reform anyways we have the girl right this is the white girl i confused the other one and do you know pause she looks like cara another karen and why is that not racist calling white broads karen okay taniqua look at these two am i right res look at they could be sisters go ahead let her tell you how to do it shortcut link you're gonna want to know you're gonna want
Starting point is 00:39:42 to buckle in okay so all you have to do is say hey siri i'm being pulled over and it's going to want to know. You're going to want to know. Buckling. Buckling. Okay, so all you have to do is say, hey Siri, I'm being pulled over. And it's going to initiate 18 different actions at one time. It's going to first send your location, the pinpointed location to the contact of your choice. Just the facts, ma'am. It is going to immediately start recording with your front facing camera while also dimming your phone down to zero.
Starting point is 00:40:04 It is going to pause any music you have playing. It's going to send that video recording to the same person that you had it tell you were being pulled over. And at the same time, it's also going to immediately upload all of those videos and photos to your iCloud Drive or your Dropbox. All of this happens simultaneously, like I said, by saying, hey Siri, I'm being pulled over. I will leave a link in my bio and free fill to DM. Why don't you leave a link in my mouth?
Starting point is 00:40:36 What kind of talk is that for a grown man? It's funny talk. Fuck off. That was gross. Delicious. Thank you. Thank you. Those two white broads look alike, Raz. Unbelievable. I once said to my wife, I said, something about when women are naked from the waist down, you all look alike.
Starting point is 00:41:06 And she goes, yeah, too bad all you guys don't. I didn't say a word for like two years. What the fuck kind of talk is that? Don't like my very average dick? How dare you? Speaking of average dicks, how about this woman? This babe by mouth water like a goddamn St. Bernard with his head out the window of a Jeep on the highway. A social media influencer has sparked outrage for her choice of venue to film a workout in Bali,
Starting point is 00:41:37 reportedly with intentions of uploading it to social media. And I don't know what people are up in arms about. You know, I dislike this girl. I like what she was doing. Who's complaining? Bunch of figs. Check this rod out. Let's take another look at that.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Aye, aye, aye. I want to be that dog. Go back again. Give me ten more. All right. That's good. Places the lotion in the basket. Please.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Please. I want to go basket. Please. Please. I want to go home. Please. He places the lotion in the basket. You see that girl's ass? What are you kidding me? Crack eggs on it? Delicious. Thank you. She was doing it near
Starting point is 00:42:43 a religious ceremony that was going on like i said dorazzo you shit me if gandhi was there and somebody tried to stop ragamdi gandhi would have stepped in no no no you leave her be you let her do two three more push you'll give me i like that she's doing yoga very nice that's a accent. I used to be able to do an Indian. I'm out of practice. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. The blonde woman was filmed wearing what appears to be a pink tank top and skimpy underwear. Is there any other kind? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Or swimsuit bottom while performing squats as someone walks around recording her uh the woman was conducting her fitness routine on a beach in cango village mere feet away from a group reportedly conducting a religious ceremony the balinese locals were preparing an elaborate hindu offering yeah so is she leave be. The unnamed woman was, you know, beautiful woman, but you got to admit, you really are in love with yourselves. You really, you know, I mean, just look at all the selfies, the zillions they have to put up when they're in the fucking show. I'm not complaining, but I'm saying, don't talk about men's egos. You broad spend more time looking into that camera, the younger ones.
Starting point is 00:44:04 You know, the ones that are off limits you know the ones that raz enjoys thoroughly the unnamed woman was out of her behavior in a cangu poll instagram account which labeled her ignorances in the wild a play on the incredibly popular influences in the wild instagram account that post videos shaming wannabe social media look at this stump do you have a picture that no i probably not they have a picture of her stomach those on the instagram account were outraged by the course they were here comes social media here come the pilgrims with their pitchforks they slam the woman the amount of disrespect part of one person's comment right is that hard to respect the culture that open to everyone? Seriously, is it that hard?
Starting point is 00:44:46 Ignorance and bad manners. This is inappropriate. Shut the fuck up. Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. You keep lying. Me love you. Me love you a long time, Joe.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Me so horny. Girl's ass is like a goddamn nectarine let her do her squats I don't give a shit if it's in the middle of fucking midnight mass on Christmas that's a gift to all of us the baby Jesus would have got a fucking heart on it am I right? one time contributions
Starting point is 00:45:24 thank you and again folks you know this show is kept alive by you my fans are sending daily donations at nickdip.com or you can sign up at patreon.com become a monthly member where you'll get an extra story you'll get a goddamn archives why can't i remember these three i have this brain cramp and you can ask me a question and i can send you a tape of me doing squats in the yard in my fucking lulu lemons one time contributors since yesterday david dryden south carolina i recognize a lot of these names aaron collins california steve watson arizona jose mendoza definitely recognize that uh california char. Canada. Dip Aloe Akbar. Texas.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Stephen Klaski in Idaho, who sent a huge donation. Phil McCracken. Australia. Wade Gabin. Saudi Arabia. Dwayne Coon. Texas. Clifton Goss.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Virginia. Willie B. Hartigan. Michigan. Moe Larry and Chip Harris, Tennessee. Here's one for you. Wilma Fingerdew. Wilma Fingerdew. Get it?
Starting point is 00:46:34 Florida. Terry Remsick, Armed Forces in Europe. Got people over there in the military. God bless you, Terry. Agata Wyzorek, she's the one who sent the biggest contribution in the history of the show last week. She's at it again. Thank you so much, Agata. Tim Hershey, there's another name we recognize, Ohio. Michael Apik, LaTorre, Florida. Richard Curtis, Colorado. Luke Barazon
Starting point is 00:47:05 Kelly. Why do these sound familiar? I'm not reading the ones from yesterday, am I? Adam Bonus, Michigan. Sal Lamy, Ohio. Rich Arigie, New Jersey. John Tobias, Florida. Richard Cold, Kentucky. Jason Matthews, New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Matt Polskill, Colorado. Todd Thomas, Texas. Kevin Schroeder, Arizona, Justin Henninger, Pennsylvania. And as far as new monthly supporters, Gleeblands11, Michael Knoll, Derek McBroom, Michael Curran, Brendan Bollinger, Kent Glowinski. All monthly supporters. Thank you guys so much. I can't tell you what it means to us. Well, well, well. Here's the one that Raz was, I was yelling at Raz because he didn't have a picture of
Starting point is 00:47:56 the black broad and it was a white broad. But this is the story. In the ever-expanding cultural revolution spurred on by Black Lives Matter moment, Kellogg's cereal boxes have now been added to the list of supposedly racist symbols by a disgraced leftist former politician in the UK. This is why I confused her, Raz, because she has a fuck. Fiona Onasanya, a former Labour Party MP who became the only, only the second person in history to be kicked out of parliament by their own voters using a recall petition.
Starting point is 00:48:30 There she is. She doesn't look crazy. That's the good thing. Has called on Kellogg's to justify why Rice Krispies is represented with three white boys. And whenever they use white boys, they hate white people. White boys, and whenever they use white boys, they hate white people. While the Coco Pops mascot is a monkey, is what she's asking. And I don't know what the fuck she's... She's a little whore and a little piece of trash.
Starting point is 00:48:55 As you are yet to reply to my email, Coco Pops and Rice Krispies have the same composition, except for the facts Coco P pops are brown and chocolate flavored. So I was wondering why Rice Krispies have three white boys representing the brand and Cocoa Pops have a monkey. The disgraced former MP wrote on social media while failing to tag the correct account. Such a dumb fuck for the cereal maker in the UK and Ireland arm. The three white boys on a sign you referred to in her tweet are the iconic snap crackle pop do you believe we're even having this conversation you crazy fucking bitch who votes for these does anybody vet the do you guys just pull the lever
Starting point is 00:49:35 oh well i don't know how it works over there but how the fuck does she get into parliament snap crackle pop a group of elves the known for their fucking anti-black bias invented in the 1930s and named as an onomatopoeic representation uh of the sound rice krispies makes when combined with milk she's fucking nuts you're fucking crazy coco the monkey has been an on again off again again mask off for Coco Pops. Coco Crispy, Snap, Crackle and Pop replaced him in the United States in 2001. In December 2018, Miss Onasanya was expelled from the Labor Party after being convicted of perverting the course of justice. The solicitor was found to have lied about a speeding offense. She's just a dirty white hating.
Starting point is 00:50:26 A spokesman for the cereal maker, Chris Charles, said that Breitbart News, because they reported it, and they used to be a sponsor of Breitbart, but they're Kellogg's, but they're not anymore. He said it's Breitbart News and its millions of readers aren't aligned with Kellogg's values as a company. Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. They're not aligned?
Starting point is 00:50:51 So your values are that you don't want the truth and you can't handle the truth. That's what your values are at fucking Kellogg's. Stick your Rice Krispies up your ass. Snap, crackle, shit. Unbelievable. You see what is going on, folks? We're living in alternative universes.
Starting point is 00:51:15 The left thinks we're delusional. We think, but only one's right. And you know who it is. If you don't believe me, watch coverage of Seattle. Chop, that new country in Seattle. Yeah, did you see? I think one of the, I think it was, might've been Tucker, they went there with a camera
Starting point is 00:51:34 and there's this fucking guy standing around like this, literally fucking all drugged out. Like one guy was like drooling. People dressed up, two guys were dressed up two guys are dressed up in like bunny outfits with fucking tails hanging off just white kids on acid dancing and shit alright final story
Starting point is 00:51:58 I just can't believe what this what's gone on in the last couple weeks and how Black Lives Matter, in my opinion, terrorist group, how their message is getting traction. And it couldn't unless they had a million white cowards in government, in the media.
Starting point is 00:52:20 And that's what they are. They're cowards, chicken shit, who acquiesce to their bullshit. Members of the University of Texas football team say they'll refuse. Why don't you say black members? I'm sure, I guess white kids are joining just out of pressure.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Of the University of Texas football team say they'll refuse to participate in donor and recruiting events on behalf of the school until a list of demands is met to address alleged racial injustices at the school. Can you imagine, folks, can you, in 2020, you know college campuses are the most PC places on the planet. And I've said this before, there's no place safer for a black or brown person than a college campus in this country. I mean, they have separate dorms if they want them at some schools, separate graduations, they're pushing for segregation.
Starting point is 00:53:27 And you want me to believe that there's all kinds of racial injustice, especially with scholarship athletes. You want me to believe they're being discriminated? Fucking, I'm not buying any of it. They're just caught up in the moment. The list of demands was posted to Twitter by at least two Texas football players. But according to reports, they were submitted on behalf of the entire squad. Yeah, because if you're a white kid and don't agree with it, you're going to open your mouth, get kicked out of school.
Starting point is 00:53:56 However, as the Blaze noted, thus far, there is no real indication that all team members are in agreement with the demands or if anyone on the team has dissented. Defensive lineman and linebacker Marquez Bimage was one of the players who posted demands online. I think we have the demands, right, Raz? I'm going to put those up now. The renaming of buildings. First demand players are making is that the university officially change the name of some buildings on campus,
Starting point is 00:54:27 including those named after famous earlier professors and administrators who advocated segregation, such as such as Theophilus Painter and Robert Lee Moore. In addition, the student play is a demanding permanent removal of a statue of former Texas Governor James Hogg, which is odd because a history of his political career claims he was a champion of public schools, state universities and teacher education. Also, according to Humanities Texas, Hogg urged the Texas legislator to pass an anti lynching law when it finally did in 1897. So, see, they don't even look into it. They just want to wipe out anything fucking white and just, you're a racist. You players, all you people, you don't like white people. You never did because of shit that happened 300 years ago,
Starting point is 00:55:27 that's a mature way to go through life, by the way. Hating white people who had nothing to do with it. Oh, but they have a fair advantage. You're entitled. Shut the fuck up. You're on scholarship at the University of Texas. And you're probably going to have a great future. According to the document,
Starting point is 00:55:47 students are also demanding more support for racial justice issues on campus, as well as coursework. Listen to this. For incoming freshmen, coursework regarding the alleged history of racism at the institution, and for some proceeds of the athletics department
Starting point is 00:56:02 to be donated to black organizations and the BLM movements. Does this sound familiar to people? This went on in the 60s when the Black Panthers took over fucking Yale and others, UCLA, UCLA, Berkeley. Do you remember that? They took over the school. I can't remember if it was Yale or Berkeley. And the fucking white guys that ran it were cowards back then.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Reagan stepped in out in California and said fuck this he was like Trump um but you know just white spineless people and like I said there's no safer place for a black person or a young a student than a college campus. In addition, they want the university to name some part of the stadium after Julius Whittier, the first black football player at UT. The student athletes also want the university, listen to this, to ditch its fight song, The Eyes of Texas, so as to have a new song written for us to sing. What, something from fucking Tupac? What do you want? Rick Ross, black and white?
Starting point is 00:57:12 The play is that do not require athletes to sing this song. Jesus, just a bunch of whiny motherfuckers. In addition, the student-athletes want, yeah, to get rid of the fight song. Some people have criticized the song because they believe it's racist. It has minstrel history or whatever the fuck. How about go to another school?
Starting point is 00:57:36 How about shut down the football park? We're supposed to believe it's all kind of shit going on? Injustices to black kids on the University of Texas football team? I don't believe any of it. That said, Texas Longhorns wide receiver Brennan
Starting point is 00:57:51 Eagles noted on his Twitter he isn't going to play another snap knowing what's going on in our society due to color and the system being broken. and the system being broken. Quiet, quiet like a bitch.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Do you see what's happened? Generation after generation. And they got brainwashed right on that campus at University of Texas. That's the biggest threat to the future of this country, higher education. That's the biggest threat. It has to be fucking, there has to be some balance there.
Starting point is 00:58:27 I don't know how you get that. I'm a stand-up comedian. You guys figure it out. But you're producing generation after generation of kids who hate this country and their head is filled with left-wing propaganda. It has to be broken up. So, Raz, get the guns.
Starting point is 00:58:45 That is it, folks. Me and my purple shirt have had up. So, Raz, get the guns. That is it, folks. Me and my purple shirt have had enough. Oh, dates. Dates. Let's do the dates.
Starting point is 00:58:53 Eventually, in the fall, I will be back on the road, hopefully, and I hope the goddamn rules, I'm not going to play to, you know, a place that holds 300
Starting point is 00:59:00 and they can only allow 80 in. I'm not going to fucking do that, I don't think. Maybe I'll have to. Who knows? Thursday, September 17th through 19th, the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Saturday, October 10th, Stand Up Live, Huntsville, Alabama. I've never played there, can't wait. Sunday, October 11th, the Zanies in Nashville, Tennessee. Friday, October 23rd, the Mark Chunk Opera House, Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. That's racist. No, it's in Nashville, Tennessee. Friday, October 23rd, the Mark Chunk Opera House, Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania.
Starting point is 00:59:27 That's racist. No, it's in India. That's all right. Thursday, November 19th, The Improv in Raleigh, North Carolina. That's it. And we're going to, I'm going to visit Raz's sister
Starting point is 00:59:36 in North Carolina. Give him a hard time, apparently. Straighten her ass out. That is it, folks. Thank you guys again for contributing to the show and keeping it alive. And we appreciate it. Remember, you guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I don't know.

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