The Nick DiPaolo Show - Free Speech Down the (You)Tube | Nick Di Paolo Show #603

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

YouTube banning anti-vaccine activists. Sexual Assault suit against CNN's Don Lemon. ABC edits out Obama's criticism of "open borders". 77 year old gets "restless anal syndrome". A Florida man and an alligator.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House, now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning, honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going.ค่ะ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, boy! What's up, kids?

Final day of the week, a Thursday. Maybe not for you, but for me, a Thursday. That's right, I'll head right from here to the world of beer. Sample, I'd say about 45, 50 countries. Then get behind the wheel like a good American and plow into a lady with a stroller. Or a cocaine. Anyways, talking to my boy Dallas here. By the way way two tours in

the civil war no two in Afghanistan then he went back working for a contractor so guy ain't playing and he loves college football because I'm guessing you're from the south that's right which is the best

there's nothing better okay and I love the NFL but there's nothing I, okay? And I love the NFL, but there's nothing. I get bored on Sundays after watching fucking, you know, Auburn, Alabama or whatever. Anyways, you've heard it all, folks. But I figure there's a few dykes out there that might be new to the show. It's getting so far left out there that they're joining the fight. Isn't it time for an uprising?

Come on. Use your guns. You got them. Anyways, I think I've said enough. isn't it time for an uprising? Come on. Use your guns. You got them. Anyways, I think I've said enough. Let's roll. Oh, in the N-word segment today, the CDC, they're still around,

is telling pregnant women to get the vaccine. They're telling them to get it before or during pregnancy because 22 pregnant women died of COVID in August. Okay, now tell us how many pregnant women didn't die of COVID in August. What's that? That's not important? I'm sorry? I didn't hear you.

Come again in my mouth? What did you say? That's right, ladies. Put something into your bodies that we have no idea what it could do to you in the long run. Never mind your babies. Come on, ladies. Don't be chicken shit. Give it a shot.

What's the worst that could happen? It could kill your baby. So if that happens thousands of times a day at Planned Parenthoods across the country, no biggie. Oh, big deal. So your baby's born with three arms and a half a face. He'll be the most popular kid in his class. Why does anybody, including pregnant women, listen to anything these morons at the CDC

have to say about COVID? They've got more shit wrong about COVID than fuckface Fauci. That's what we call him, F to the third power. Remember the six foot rule? Did that rule smell like ass to you? Because it should have. That's where the CDC pulled it out of their ass. It has no basis in science, yet people still using it. Remember they told us to stay indoors. It was safer there. Turns out the call from the COVID killer was coming from inside your house.

That's a great phrase. I know some people don't kill for that shit. Then they told us to wear masks outside, which was a suggestion that couldn't have been more wrong if the research was done at the Kim Kardashian Institute with their dumb ass sisters. Or how about when they told us it lived on surfaces? I'm guessing that was a rumor started by the CEO of Purell's parent company. I mean, maids ever go to a hotel? Maids are scrubbing vigorously, wiping down hotel room furniture like they just shot a snuff film in room 306 at the Hyatt.

Bottom line, pregnant ladies, don't get your info from the CDC. Do, did I say info? That's the black information. Do your own research and ask your own doctor. Hell, ask your Uber Eats driver. You'll get better advice about COVID. And he smells like French fries.

Give him a quick tug. All right, that's the N word. It's my favorite part of the show. Let's call it a day, shall we? All right. I don't know. I got to stop with the coffee. I think I'm bleeding internally. Stomach is making these fucking, it sounds like the soundtrack from Star Wars and I'm laying in bed. And every time I eat, whether it's a cracker or a full meal, I have to run right to the bathroom. I think it's called dumping syndrome. But all I know is I'm down about six pounds, so I don't give a shit if it's cancer. I'm looking good.

And that's what's important when you're 74. I look like a Hispanic lawn green. The people in your late 90s might get that reference. The rest of you are going, Google that, Billy. Hispanic lawn green. The people in your late 90s might get that reference. The rest of you is going, Google that, Billy. Fucking lawn green. You know, he was a dog food guy and he was on Ponderosa and whatnot. Little fucking house. Let's get right to the bias.

Fucking slimy, two-faced, unconstitutional Silicon Valley faggots who dear partition information to keep us dumb and at each other's throats. Fucking YouTube, I don't know where you're, well, I do know where your headquarters is. It's in Silicon Valley somewhere. That's a long trip to burn a house down. You're asking for it. YouTube is banning prominent anti-vaccine activists and blocking all anti-vaccine content. That's pretty American, huh? You know, that's what the chinks and the Russians do to their people. I mean, the Chinese. I didn't mean to offend those slippery little fucking liars. Do you understand that? Do you understand we're already practicing communism or whatever you want to call it?

Do you understand that? You people who vote left, Democrat, whatever you want to call it, how does it feel to know you've been wrong your whole life about politics? Not one fucking word of it has been right from you jerk-offs. And it's playing out right in front of us.

Joe Biden might go down as the greatest president ever. Why? Because he's going to hand the election in 2024 to us if the country's still around. I'm hoping we're in the middle of a fucking political and social upheaval. I got my mother a musket for her birthday. She already had one. She's 211. YouTube is taking down several video channels associated with high-profile, high-profile anti-vaccine activists,

including Joseph Mercola and Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who experts say are partially... Who are the experts, by the way? Who are the experts? The people that work at YouTube? 14-year-old Asian kids? Who are the fucking experts?

They know more than the doctors that are saying the opposite of this? Fuck you and your arrogant, God damn it, burn down the Ivy League starting today. Ready? Go. Anyway, experts say partially responsible, the people who are, they label them

anti-vaccine, a partially responsible Kennedy and Mercado, whatever his name, for helping seed the skepticism that's contributed to slowing vaccination. No, it's not. That's not what it is. People are doing their research and listening to actual virologists and doctors who are world-renowned who say you're full of shit. That's where they're learning it and saying, I'm not putting that shit in my bullet. You don't have to be a constitutional scholar to know that the survival rate of this so-called disease pandemic is 99.96 if you're under 900 pounds and 70 years old, why would you take a drug that you don't know the long-term effect of if you have almost 100%? Just ask yourself that and the argument ends, okay?

But no, they're blocking that information for people who are saying, you're not going to do that to me. You know. Who said that? Who the fuck said that? YouTube. Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?

I think his name is Mr. Picard. Some Indian fuck's name. Anyways, very smart fellow. I don't want to put down YouTube completely because I see some... I was watching... What did I watch? I watch real high-level intelligent shit at like 2 in the morning. Like last night, I was watching, what did I watch? I watch real high-level intelligent shit at like 2 in the morning. Like last night, I was watching clips of guys who put fake dicks in their pants

and go on the subway and watch girls' reactions to a giant cock. It's terrific. That's what I was watching for about a half hour. I was going to try it later today down by the riverside here in Savannah. I was watching that, and again, people getting hit by buses in China. Talk about going down a rabbit hole. Anyways, as a part of a new set of policies

aimed at cutting down on anti-vaccine content on the Google-owned site, YouTube will ban any videos that claim that commonly used vaccines approved by health authorities are ineffective or dangerous. When they say commonly used, now they're talking about like smallpox and measles and all that shit, which we know that the vaccines work, but that's not the point. which we know that the vaccines were, but that's not the point. If you want to bad mouth it and say it doesn't,

you have every right to. At least you used to. Don't you guys see? I know you do because you're my fans. You're not dopes. I don't know who I'm talking to here, but don't you see COVID is being used as a pretext for everything from stealing the election

to dividing us into a million pieces to this, to blocking information. Don't you see? I love how they use the term misinformation like they own it. The company previously blocked videos that made those claims about coronavirus vaccines, but not ones for other vaccines like the measles or chickenpox, but I guess they're doing that now. chickenpox, but I guess they're doing that now. Misinformation, listen to this, misinformation researchers. That's right out of 1984. Misinformation researchers. So once again, they think they have a monopoly on what's true and what's not. It's fucking creepy. Misinformation researchers have for years said the popularity of anti-vaccine content on YouTube

was contributing to growing skepticism. Oh, you mean the free flow of information? Of life-saving vaccines in the United States and around the world. Is that what the experts are saying? Vaccination rates have slowed, and about 56% of the U.S. population has had two shots, compared with 71% in Canada, that's who we aspire to be, which is communist, and 67% in the United Kingdom. So what's your point?

We're more well-informed, and it's hurting your feelings. You guys can't handle the truth that people are doing their own research. We know how many people died in Europe, how many teenagers in Israel have heart problems. In July, President Biden said social media companies were partially responsible for spreading misinformation about the vaccine. And we know he's an expert. Guy can't even find his underwear in one. And need to do more to address the issue. That's what President Biden, the guy who stole the election, said.

You need to shut the fuck up. The change marks a shift for the social media giant, which streams more than one billion hours worth of content every day. About three hours of it actually worth watching. Like its peers, Facebook and Twitter, the company has long resisted policing content too heavily. Says who? Arguing maintaining an open platform is critical to free speech

until it gets to shit that we disagree with. But as the companies increasingly come under fire from regulators, lawmakers, and regular users. Really, regular users are complaining for contributing to social ills, including vaccine skepticism. That's a social ill, to be skeptical about a fucking drug that nobody knows the long-term effects of, that your government wants to force on you. You're contributing to social ills. that your government wants to force on you.

You're contributing to social ills. YouTube is again changing policies that it has held onto for months. That's your world. I just live in it. I used to live in it. Now I'm here at the comics gym. Who wants to spot me? I'm doing a set... Doing a set of jokes. Don't drop it.

Mama, mama, mama. Let's move on to some lighter stories. Sexual assault suit against CNN, Don Googobler Lemon. It's headed to court. Look at that batch. He looks like, he reminds me, have you ever seen the Tin Man

on The Wizard of Oz without the makeup? Do you know what I'm talking about? I forget the guy's name. We should all know it, but this is where Matt Googles it and tells me. No, he doesn't. Oh, your assistant does Delta. Okay, that's true. Matt's

working the board. He's got shit to do. Don Lemon, there he is. This guy needs his stomach pumped. His stomach is like a DNN database for jizzy bopop, jizz-em-bop. CNN's Don Lemon faces credible sexual assault allegations that will soon land in court, reports Fox News. And when asked about it, Don Lemon didn't really argue.

He said this. I suck cock, and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Pretty sure he's guilty. This... I don't know. I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Pretty sure he's guilty. I don't know. I'm kidding. The suit stems from a credible allegation made by Dustin Heiss. Now look at Dustin Heiss. He is delicious. That is a manhunk.

If that guy's not gay, I am. Tell me he doesn't look like, we were discussing this before the show, and of course I come up with the ultimate reference. He doesn't look like we were discussing this before the show and of course i come up with the ultimate reference he doesn't look like one of those puppets from team america wasn't there a blonde good-looking puppet too not the guy with the dark hair yeah oh and if you haven't seen that movie i don't want to talk to you that literally should have won an Oscar. I'm not shitting you. Jack Haley is the Tin Man. Credible allegation made by Dustin Heist.

That's Dustin there. You know he. I don't know. I was going to shit all over Dom Lemon, but look, Dustin Heist looks like he'd like Dom Lemon, I'm saying. He should marry him. He'd be Lemon Heist. What? You don't like Lemon Heist? Makes no sense. I did it anyways. Dustin Heiss, who says that in July of 2018 at Murph's Backstreet Tavern.

Ooh, that sounds gay. I prefer the toolbox in Long Island. Or the... Anything to the black hole. Murph's Backstreet Tavern in Sag Harbor. Beautiful Long Island. But Lemon put his hand down the front of his own shorts and vigorously rubbed his genitalia, which in this case would be pussy,

removed his hand and shoved his index and middle fingers in the plaintiff's mustache. Don't make me like Don Lemon. And under the plaintiff's nose. What a pervert. Fucking quiz!

And then all hell broke loose. That's something you want a beautiful girl to do to you, not Don Lemon. Am I right? Anybody? Everybody. that's something you want a beautiful girl to do to you, not Don Lemon. Am I right? Anybody? Everybody. While doing this, Lemon allegedly kept asking the plaintiff, this is why I believe it's true, do you like pussy or dick? Lemon denies any wrongdoing. Then he burped.

Lemon denies any wrongdoing. And then he burped. Heiss also has a man who claims to have witnessed the alleged assault, George Ganelis, who at the time was Heiss' supervisor at a nearby restaurant. Ganelis described it this way. We had just gotten off work, so that's why we ended up there, because we work in the restaurant business. So by the time everything is done, we can only hit a late night spot. I didn't even, I didn't even consider that where this alleged assault happened was a gay spot until I read

that guy's statement. He's so defensive. We're only there because it was latent. that guy's statement. He's so defensive. We're only there because it was Layton. All the places with pussy was closed. Fucking Arby's, Burger King. So we went over here to the toolbox. While he can't remember what was said exactly, Ganelis said Lemon was pretty drunk and responded with something along the lines of, do you like me? Is that why you're bothering me? Because you want to fuck me? Please give me. Oh, done, done, done. You're gone, gone, gone.

You really think, I'll tell you right now, even if it went to court, whatever, the judge is going to graduate from fucking Harvard and, you know, are we really going to fucking put a fucking famous black gay guy in jail? Please. Please, Mike. And that's when Lemon allegedly put his alleged hands down his alleged pants.

Jesus, they trying to cover their ass on this one? And allegedly rubbed his alleged genitals. I'm not making this up. This is what it says. Before allegedly running his dirty fingers all over the plaintiff's face. He's a fake. We did this story when it broke. So I guess it's finally buoyed into the wheels of jism. I mean, justice turns slowly. My goodness. It's just getting to. I mean, justice turns slowly. My goodness, it's just getting to...

I wonder who's going to cover that now. Can he cover his own story? No. They'll have to have Cuomo come in, who wasn't supposed to be covering his brother, but he was. What a shit show over there. By the way, Gutfeld is crushing in the ratings. I should have been nicer. I could have been him. You know, you drop a few fucking F-bombs,

a few J-bombs, a few C-bombs over the career, and it really can, it can really sting in the long run, I found out. Especially when you're calling a woman from NBC a cunt. That doesn't sit well with anybody at the network or your management, turns out. Oh, I don't know, kids.

It's a complicated one. But I believe, let me just weigh in on Don Lemon. Guilty! Hang him from the fucking highest tree in the land. I shouldn't say that because he's a colored fellow. Don't hang him, but spank him. Don't put him in jail because that's where he wants to go. spank him. Don't put him in jail because that's where he wants to go.

As Charlie Manson famously said, when Vincent Bogosi said to him, aren't you going to miss the sex, Charlie? There's plenty of sex in jail. I almost did it. I almost did it, didn't I? No, you weren't even close, Charlie. You just took some, you just played games with some human flotsam. You're not even important anymore.

Please watch that movie. Hey, guys, this is exciting. It really is. Tom Brady returns to New England for the biggest game of the year, and the stakes have never been higher at my bookie. Whether you're backing the buccaneers or the pats this sunday the game is always more exciting when i've got money on it at my bookie uh get in on the action and take this game to a whole new level at my bookie both teams are sporting top defenses and nobody knows each other better than br and Belichick. Slow and steady will win this race.

Smart money bets the under because of the defenses. Don't wait around. Join my bookie now and bet on the biggest game of the season up to now. Use my promo code NickDip and double your first deposit. Again, that's promo code NickDip to get double your first deposit with MyBookie and start your winning season today. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. It's that easy. It's a great, great service, and we thank them for sponsoring the show. Speaking of terrorists, what?

Speaking of gay blackfellas, Obama's back in the news. ABC excludes more cheating between Silicon Valley and the fucking networks. Don't forget this, folks. It's not what they put in. It's what they omit from their stories that sometimes is way more dangerous. ABC excludes Obama's criticism of open borders from televised portion of interview. That's right. ABC News. How many times have we busted all these networks by now? Left out a remark from former President Barack Obama. Oh, there she is, Robin Roberts.

I never liked her, even before I knew she had cancer. She's the face of political correctness. A gay black woman, that's why she was handed a career. Yeah, but she's, nah, I don't want to hear it. She makes me sad. She's always got a painful look on her face and plays, I'm a victim. I just can't. I'm sure you're a nice lady, but fuck off. Get away from me. President Barack Obama describing open borders as unsustainable from the televised portion of his interview so they took that part out when he said open borders are unsustainable they good good morning america took what do you

call a good lying america you filthy fucking i don't it are you interested in the real story yeah uh let's show let's let's show what obama had to say and blah blah blah after the biden administration cleared 15 000 haitians from the del rio migrant camp former president obama defended his vp's handling of the border crisis passing blame to the gop pause you hear what they said how they worded that i'll break it down for you after the biden administration cleared 15,000 Haitians. Cleared. Not let through, which they did, about 13,000 of the 15. They made it sound like he cleared. You people work on a level.

You think you're being clever and shit? We can see right through you. Go ahead. Friends of immigration reform has consistently gotten stuck, partly because we can't get enough Republicans to support it. By the way, immigration reform, that's just lingo for letting all these people become citizenship. That's all that means. Comprehensive.

In other words, everything. Make them citizens right away, but no tests, we'll give them free sneakers. You're not kidding anybody. I can't tell who the man is in that picture. Go ahead. From that interview and published only in the online article was President Obama saying, quote, At the same time, we're a nation state. We have borders. The idea that we can just have open borders is something that, as a practical matter, is unsustainable. Who gives a fuck what you think? Is there more? That's it.

All right. Good for you. Obama then added this. Durka, durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka, sherpa, sherpa, abakala. Ah, ba-ba-ba, families that are desperately trying to get here. A baccalaureate. Ba, ba, ba, families that are desperately trying to get here. Americans want to help them, you know, keep their kids safe, and in some cases fleeing violence or catastrophe or not.

Obama told co-hosts, I put the you or not in there, Obama told co-hosts, he said sometimes, see how they are? They're lawyers. They're all lawyers. They parse their words very carefully. In the excluded portion, he said, what are you, shit me? This will never work. I told you Biden would fuck this thing. If you're going to be a Marxist, you've got to do it an inch at a time, is what he said. But this is where he said, you know, at the same time we're a nation state, and I did the best I could to destroy that nation in my eight years, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job now in my third term fooling all the white people. They did hear the portion where he blamed the Republicans of course yeah I'll never never uh

you know comprehensive what exactly does that mean you know I don't even know what it means when it comes to my car insurance. A lot of Haitians came over because of a devastating earthquake in 2010. They haven't cleaned that up. So remember, all cultures are equal. Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking doctor. I'm King Jamrag. I'm King Spunkbubble. I'm telling you

H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. And then Obama said this. Durka durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa, a bacala. That'll get me every time. Let's do some light news, shall we?

A baby died when it was hit by a cement truck yesterday in Brooklyn. And then two homeless guys took a dump on it. And then a pigeon. Now here's Tim with sports. Listen to this. This is a real story. We needed something at the end of the week to lighten it up.

COVID-infected man, 77 years old, develops, get this, folks, restless. It says anal syndrome. I would say anus. Wouldn't you? Well, who wrote this? A gay guy? Restless anus syndrome. Not anal.

This is what they diagnosed, which left him unable to sit still. Hmm. An elderly Japanese man developed restless anus syndrome after catching COVID. Oh, my God. Are we going to blame everything on COVID now? Now, this guy was at the bar the night Don Lemon stuck his hand on his back. He ended up going home with Lemon that night.

Anyways, he caught COVID. Now his asshole can't rest. And what doctors claim is a world's first. And that's what they're calling it. Restless anal syndrome. I'm not, I am, Hillary, I'm not shitting you, you fat whore. The unidentified 77-year-old was admitted to Tokyo Medical University Hospital after testing positive for COVID. Despite his age, he did not require any oxygen during his stay and managed to start breathing normally again 21 days after being admitted. So you 15-year-old kids and you NBA players, watch out for that COVID because it'll knock the shit out of you. Here's a 77-year-old nip

who survived it. I mean, Japanese guy. Don't talk like that. What's the matter with you, Nick? What kind of retro-racist horseshit is that? It's very funny. I keep on doing it. He started breathing normally 21 days after being admitted. However, a problem of another kind emerged several weeks after he was discharged, no pun intended. The man began to suffer deep

anal discomfort. Hey, who hasn't? You know what I mean? You get drunk at the Knights of Columbus, you don't see the Adam's apple. Anyways, deep anal discomfort about 10 centimeters above his perineum. And we know what that is, right? That's your taint, folks. Taint asshole, taint balls. Perineum. The Latin word for it.

The region, I like how they describe it. The region, like it's where Gabby got lost. Like it's where Gabby got lost. The region between the Grand Tetons and your asshole. My buddy's going to love these rim shots. Nothing makes him laugh harder. It's the region between your genitals and your anus. This gave him an essential urge to move.

Boy, I wish that happened to me when I was on a dance floor of the hot chick. This is according to medics who treated him. Defecation, they said, did nothing to relieve the man's discomfort. That's when you know you're in trouble. I mean, I feel better. I might have it. I told you guys I've had gas for five days. My asshole is exhausted. The men's discomfort wrote Dr. Erituo Nakamura. He's terrific. He did my molars. Who detailed the case in BMC infectious diseases. the old man, such as walking, running, or playing motion-based video games, alleviated his symptoms, while taking a rest and staying still made them worse. Now, that's the last thing you want when you're 77, is your asshole telling you, get up and go. I don't mean your wife, your asshole. He also noticed the symptoms got worse towards the evening when he

watched CNN primetime. No. Dr. Nakamura said a colonoscopy, where a thin, flexible camera is inserted into the anus just for fun, revealed the man had internal hemorrhoids, but no other rectal damage. And they were in that camera for like two and a half hours looking around. They were looking for shit on the Titanic down there. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Echo!

Testing the man's nervous system also revealed no abnormalities. Dr. Nakamura, who was a relief pitcher for the Texas Rangers two years ago, said the symptoms of suffering in the anal region,

the urge to move, the worsening with rest, improvement with exercise, but worsening at evening, led medics to diagnose him with restless anal syndrome. Restless anal syndrome. When the guy told his wife that, his wife said,

And I'll tell you another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. I love this show. Can you imagine that? My wife had restless leg syndrome. That's actually a real, she used to kick the shit out of me at night while I was sleeping. I woke up, she's standing over me like De Niro in Goodfellow. I said, you don't have rest.

She goes, it's a serious condition. I said, if you're a centipede... They classified this as a variant of the relatively common condition, restless leg syndrome and directly attributed as being caused by his COVID infection. How do we know that? Do we know that? So there's another reason you pregnant ladies shouldn't, you know, don't get the fucking,

but again, this was, he actually got COVID, but I'm just saying, you could get a loose asshole. You don't want that when you're carrying a kid. because you already pee yourself when you're pregnant, right? Dr. Nakamura said how COVID impacted patients' nervous system was not fully understood. He said, ah, fuck it, let's throw a dot on the board like everybody else. A number of neurological conditions had been reported following infection. These include dating Don Lemon, been reported following infection. These include dating Don Lemon, delirium, confusion, psych. These are actually things after you have COVID. And I had it. My wife would say I'm psychotic. These include delirium, confusion, psychosis, brain swelling, disruption to the brain's blood supply, and a condition characterized by weakness

and numbness in parts of the body. That is a nasty disease. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay?

I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Like a smoothie. What a show, huh, folks? What a show.

what a show huh folks what a show right here from the beijing region great friend of mine dr nuka makamori sheath underwear it might be my favorite product you guys know that we have brought you today by sheath underwear you've heard me talk about this product they sent me a ton of stuff i'm not kidding you i was always a tidy whitey whitey guy. You know, I'm just old school. You know what I mean? Hey, if it's good enough for Michael Jordan, it's good enough for my giant fr- Anyways, they sent me a bunch of this stuff. I still wear it. The t-shirts, the underwear, it's owned by a veteran. The underwear has in the front a two-pouch compartment, which lifts and separates your

junk. Supportive, soft material, nice looking. You could go to the drugstore wearing these at night. Nobody's going to say anything. The idea for sheath came from U.S. Army soldier Robert Patton. He came up with the idea during his second tour in Iraq. Guys, if this worked for Robert and his son blasted deserts of Iraq, you know it'll work wherever you live, especially

right here in Georgia or Florida. Support this awesome veteran-owned company. Go to sheath underwear.com and use promo code Nick dip to get 20% off your first order. Every order comes with sheath underwears, 100% money back guarantee. That's sheathunderwear.com promo code NickDip. Get sheath underwear and let them support your balls. And steady your girlfriend's chin. Nick, Nick, Nick. It really is good shit. Yeah, I was kind of a Hanes guy.

I tried boxers. Those are stupid. It feels like I'm wearing a bathing suit under my... You know what I mean? I don't want to feel it. And you don't feel these at all. These are almost skimpy. I almost look like Max Cady in Cape Fear.

Remember when they put him in the lineup and he had the... I actually, no, fucking great. Anyways, let's get to the end of the week here. Museum, here's a great story. I love this guy. Museum pays artist $84,000. He delivers two blank canvases titled, Take the Money and Run.

This might be my favorite criminal ever. He's just sticking up the establishment's wazoo. A Danish museum gave an artist 84 grand to use in a commissioned piece, only to have him pocket the cash and turn in two blank canvases entitled, Take the Money and Run. God bless this guy. There's his work there. Look at the lady studying it. My, what is this? I don't know if it's a blank canvas. It could be the Osmonds doing coke in the North Pole. Could be Edgar Winter eating a marshmallow sandwich in Alaska.

The bank robbery, get this, occurred after the Kunsten Museum of Modern Art, or Kunsten, asked Danish artist Jens Hanning to recreate two of his prior works. Those politically charged pieces used actual banknotes to showcase the average incomes of citizens of Denmark and Austria, respectively. The reboots that he was supposed to do were slated to appear in a current exhibition on the role of artists in the labor market. Wait till you see what he does here. Along with an undisclosed compensation for the project,

the institution lent Honing another $84,000. The curators first suspected something was amiss upon receiving an email from Honing that said he had changed the artwork's name to take the money and run. Yeah, boy, you guys must have been detectives that put that together. Indeed, when museum staffers opened up the box containing Honing's contributions, they discovered two blank canvases while the cash had disappeared entirely. Bye-bye. Sounds like my old manager, Barry Katz. Barry, I'm kidding. You know I love

you, you filthy. The money had not been put into the work, museum director Lars Anderson told CBN. There's Lars there in his cum-covered blue velvet jacket. Oh my God.

Are there this many gay people in the East, like in China and shit? Oh, that's right, they kill them. I'm not happy about that either. That's Director Lars Anderson, who told CBS between cum burps that he was very upset. Harding said he had a good reason

for literally drawing a blank. This guy should be doing stand-up. The work, he says, this is him, the artist, saying, the work is that I have taken their money. It's not theft. It's a breach of contract. What he's doing is doing what lawyers do.

Lawyers and politicians, they parse their language. Right? So this is brilliant. It's not theft. It's a breach of contract Lawyers and politicians, they parse their language, right? So this is brilliant. It's not theft. It's a breach of contract. And breach of contract is part of this work. Oh, boy, is this great. creation as a protest against the pittance he received for inclusion in the show, which

reportedly required him to pay nearly $4,000 to reimagine the two works. He had to pay $4,000 to get into the thing. It's like a bringer show for comedians, I guess, which wasn't around. If that was around, that bringer shit, when I was an open mic guy, I wouldn't have done comedy. I was an open mic, I wouldn't have done comedy. Anyways, the insolent gag might sound like the art world equivalent of a high school slacker fudging an exam, but the artist claimed that the piece provides relevant political commentary on the status of artists in society. He says, I quote, take the money and run questions artists' rights and their working conditions

in order to establish more equitable norms within the art industry, per a press release from Honing. Everyone would like to have more money in our society. Work industries are valued differently, added the painter Kampilferer in the statement. The artwork is essentially about the working conditions of artists. It is a statement saying that we also have the responsibility of questioning the structures that we are part of. This guy is the best bullshitter ever.

Oh my God. And if these structures, he says, are completely unreasonable, we must break with them, and the provocative piece doesn't just apply to the art world, he said. I encourage other people who have just as miserable a working condition as me to do the same thing. They don't have to overhear the government's already doing it for them. Honing explained if they are sitting on some shit job and not getting money and they're actually being asked to give money

to go to work, then take the box, he says, and run off. How about a hamper this fella? As for the $84,000, Honing hasn't broke any contract yet, Anderson said, since repayment isn't due until a year next year.

However, he specified that if the money is not returned by the artist by then, the museum will take the necessary steps to ensure that the provocateur coughs up the cash. What are you going to do, beat him with a fucking easel, Hans? Throw a spatula at him? How about a hand for that fella, huh? 84K, he goes, thanks. Here's what I'm calling this. Oh, that dirty cocksucker.

Good for him. My, my. Hey, I want to thank you guys before the week's out here. One-time contributors to the show. As you know, you guys keep us alive. That's no bullshit. Dustin Lane of Canada. Ryan Kitchen Funding Foster, Oregon.

Joe Lulich, Australia. Paul Sagnella in Connecticut. Don Corrado, Missouri. Don Corrado. I don't know if that's a real guy or not. Because Colin Quinn told me I should come up with a new character on stage. I told this on my show, so they might be,

or it might be a real guy named Don Corrado, but that's what Colin said. This is years ago. He goes, you should come out one night as Don Corrado, black turtleneck with yellow lightning bolts on. I can't remember the rest. Matthew Tracy of Virginia. Douglas Malosh, Pennsylvania.

Steve O'Reilly of Massachusetts. David Hertz. Lee McCutcheon. Douglas Larson. Jennifer Scully, a very, very nice lady, a friend of my wife's. I believe they grew up together. Jennifer, thank you so much. It was really actually a very, what do you call it, very generous amount.

New monthly supporters. We got Kurt Bowes from O'Connor, Austin Zolo, Heather Barmore. Thank you guys for signing up on a monthly basis. We appreciate that very much. Finally tonight. No, no, no, no! In our FLA segment, Florida man traps alligator in garbage bin, releases it near lake.

Just a normal day in the life of a Florida man. This was great. I saw this on TV. An incredible video that has gone viral shows a man wrangling and trapping an alligator with an empty garbage bin. This guy was just... The man who shot the video was Roy Bonilla, by the way. Let's take a look at this fella. I think he's an ex-military guy, we said, right? He asked him. He's got some big stones check this out Crazy! Crazy, I just don't give a fuck! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, beautiful absolutely beautiful the man who shot the video roy bonilla tells wsh2 it happened on tuesday in orange county and uh i don't know what i'd do man uh alligators can move quite quickly as you know and um if he had real balls he would have went after it with like uh just a dustpan and a broom or maybe a hefty plastic bag. You know, I mean, that takes no balls. What a pussy. Anyways, Eugene Bozzi,

crazy guinea apparently, is seen on video maneuvering the gator into the bin and closed. Did he leave it there for the trash guy? That's what I want to see, that video, when fucking, that's what I want to see, that video, when fucking, when Joe Recycling comes along, and that thing grabs it by its pencil neck, anyways, he put it, he rolled it down, here's why he's a good guy, he rolled the bin down a hill, and set the gator free in a nearby lake, see, I would have put it in somebody's kitchen that wasn't home, I love that story very, very much. That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. You know I love you very much,

and I love you this much, very much. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. Click on the tour button. I got a gig October 28th through the 30th Port Charlotte, Florida.

So come see me at some type of theater down there named after a gin saloon. What else? Cameo.com. Let's pick up the pace. Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. This is how paranoid I am. I think Cameo's

fucking with me because I sent a DM telling them Biden was a cocksucker. I don't know how they vote out there. That probably finished me. I always shoot myself in the foot. That's it. You guys think and I will say you're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great week. Great weekend, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music