The Nick DiPaolo Show - Gatorade Drank The Kool-Aid | Nick Di Paolo Show #1331

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

Fit or Fat? Hannity Vs. Boebert Blood Ties.

🎵 Good morning, my neighbors! Hi. Hey, fuck you! What up? What it is, and what it was it was and what it never be. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Hey, take it easy, Dad. How are you, kids?

Welcome to the stupid show on a fucking Thursday. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. That's right. Go home and listen to people. No, today there was nobody banging or scraping today. Explains why I woke up at noon. You're saving it for Saturday. You're probably right.

Probably right. Now, there's some fucking real thing there. They sent us some panels that were warped and they didn't want to put them on, whatever the fuck. Anyway, who cares? But wait till you see the house when it's done. Oh, my God.

It looks like a big fag. What? What the fuck does that even mean? Nothing. What did I want to talk about today? Nothing. No. Oh, boy. Again, not to beat a dead horse. Yellowstone, get it? By the way, fucking horses really are beautiful. I'm just learning to have sex with them. As Dave Attell, I know you're not familiar with all of Attell's shit, but he said, if I could pick any animal in the world to have sex with, I think it would be a horse,

because that way after I have a ride home. Funny little jukebox. Nick, why did he get to say that? Oh, God, I just fucking love him, anyways, yeah, again, Yellowstone, two things, please watch it, guys, if you're fans of mine, maybe you've already watched it, I'm finally caught up to the actual season everybody's watching, you gotta, again, a great show for 99% of it until this broad comes on, and she's a knockout, for 99% of it until this broad comes on.

And she's a knockout. She's a great actress, but I'm just saying, three-minute monologues that came out of the angriest feminist mouth. A guy, she's at a bar last night. Guy comes in. She's sitting there by herself. And he fucking, you know, kind of hits on her a little bit. And she's like, you got one chance

not to bother me right now and leave here with your self-esteem intact. And then he's like, go ahead, try me. So she stares at him and just keeps looking at him up and down. You're a professor at a wealthy college. But it goes on for, I'm not exaggerating, two and a half minutes without him saying a word. You got divorced. your wife took off, so fast she left skid marks on the driveway,

but you're happy about that because now you can fuck the little co-worker. It goes on without taking a breath. Nobody talks about that in real life. I'm educating the people on what good writing is. Meanwhile, the rest of it's great. But Taylor Sheridan, who's, gotta be a genius, he's got shit out all over the place.

I'm guessing he knows that and has to, like you said, he has to sign something with a feminist organization because you can't tell me Costner or him can look at that and go, yeah, that's how real people talk. No, the writer's room has the ghost writer feminists. They go in and actually punch it up and force it in. Well, his name's on the end of it. So, yeah, no, I think there's a board like you say i think it's

it's fucking it but guys i know you've been listening to me say this for my career my whole career over 25 years i've been complaining about how men are being portrayed and how women are superheroes and and and i was telling Dale as I was on stage, this is going on 10, 12 years ago. And I said, name me a woman in a TV show. So 12 years ago was 2010, right? 11, whatever. And I said, name me a woman character in a show that's portrayed as a real idiot. And somebody yells out, Suzanne Somers on Three's Company. And I went, thanks for proving my point. You had to go back to 1975.

Fucking four decades ago. Thank you. I'm not being a woman hater and all that shit. I'm too old for that. I hated them when I was young. They would give me all kinds of diseases. And I would give them diseases right back. I spread that shit like a wildfire. Anyways, my wife is like, oh my God, she gets more upset than

I do. So yeah, she stares at this guy and just sums him up. And he just stands there and here's the worst part. Instead of him trying to push back a little, he goes, fuck you, and leaves. Which means, that's just another way of saying she got it all right. They have superpowers. And it sticks out, like I said yesterday, kazoo from the Flintstones. And then there's one other thing last night. They have introduced a new character. I don't know if she's a regular or not. It's not relevant.

She comes out. She's a real estate, whatever the fuck. She walks out of the point. And you can't see. They show her from the back. And she looks like a hot broad. She's in a dress. She goes down the stairs, a couple stairs,

to walk into the front yard from behind again. I notice the calves. And I'm waiting. I'm just, you know. And then they show her from the side. She looks like a kind of good-looking brunette. But you can't see all of her face. Then she says something to Kevin Costner in a fucking

voice deeper than Barry White. We finally get a look at her three-quarter profiles. She's got a fucking jawline that makes Jay Leno look like Mitch McConnell. That is going right there.

Check that off, please. Yeah, and she turns her head, and she's like the Marlboro Man. It was like Fred Gwynn in a dress. Again, I mean, dark eyes, beautiful hair, nice skin, but clearly a transgender. And I don't know what I'm trying to say here, other than why does it, why, and I mean,

you can't tell me there wasn't a beautiful actress. Yeah, there's none of those that you could cast, right? They're not at the auditions. So it is. Just keep, remember, when you're watching entertainment, it's good, it's none of those that you could cast, right? They're not at the auditions. So it is. Just keep, remember, when you're watching entertainment, it's good. It's good stuff. It's entertainment.

But don't forget the underlying, and I don't give a shit if it's this or a commercial about Scope or fucking Sarah Lee. I don't give a fuck. All this shit is propaganda in the end. That's all I want to say about it until I see the next. Broad's like this. Beautiful land you got here. Fucking readjust her cock as she gets on the horse.

Oh, my God. And my wife is losing her shit. She was out of the room when the broad gave the big speech. I said, come here. I go, you think it's been bad up there? Listen to this one. And again, the woman's a great actress.

She delivers it. But she does it breathy, too. She does this. Don't ever bother me. That type of shit. Like Biden, when he's giving a fucking speech. The economy's getting better. Just fucking...

I'm sorry. I can't enjoy TV anymore. I wish I never read Judge Bork's book, Slouching Towards Gamora. That tipped me off that I can't enjoy TV anymore. I wish I never read Judge Bork's book, Slouching Towards Gamar. That tipped me off that I wasn't a sexist or a racist, that I was right. Anyways, let's get to it. Speaking of sexist and racist, hey, good segue into my first fit or fat is the headline. As you know, I'm on Twitter. If you guys want to know how it works,

everything has to go through my managers because I would have a tendency to go nuts on Twitter and do shit that would bury my career, even though I think it's a lot less now. You can get away with more, whatever. Anyway, that's how it works for me. Anyways, I see a commercial. Oop. Anybody hear that whistle? Did you fucking hear that?

Yeah. It was in my ear. It's like I was waving down a cab. Right. I'll just go like this, Dallas, because I know you don't want me to say it all the time, but I'll just, I don't know. I'm going to give you a signal. No, I can't. Now I let the go like this Dallas because I know you don't want me to say it all the time but I'll just I don't know I gotta give you a signal. No I can't now I let the audience know this

We need all we can though because we finally get a guy putting the shit out there so Better to send him more than less by the way. So anyways That was unbelievable that whistle. What the fuck was I even talking about, do you remember? Oh, fuck, what were you talking about? Oh, yeah, Twitter. Twitter. You're not allowed to tweet. Thank you, yes.

So I've been shadow banned. It's got to be going on eight years, whenever they first started doing it. I've told you guys. I'm at 103. I was at 102 when they fucking, you know. Or I was at 101, whatever, when they... Whatever.

It's up to 103, so maybe I'm not sure. Anyways, I tweeted. I took a picture. I'm watching football. The Gatorade commercial. Put up the... I sent you... And bam!

There she is. Downward-facing elephant is what she's doing there. Let me just say this, first of all to this lady here. Lady, it's not about you. And that is unbelievably athletic. Not fit. Learn the difference, you fucking maggots. That is not Not fit. Learn the difference, you fucking maggots. That is not fit. That is a position I want her in if I have her at my house.

And I got to listen. So that's unbelievable. That's hard to do. I'm not saying any of that. I'm saying that's not the definition of fit, you dumb fucks. I could put my dad in that when he was in the hospital at 80. Maybe a little help. So I tweeted, I think you got it, right? I tweeted Gatorade commercial refers to her as fit. Now what you didn't see is I put another line below the picture. This is how little I know about social media. The punchline,

because you know I'd fucking like to be like anybody else on Twitter, a real asshole, comes naturally. So under the picture I put Gatorade commercial, right, refers to her as fit, I put blow me, that is all, and I sent it to Tommy, I said post this. He didn't, it cut off the line below the picture? I don't know. I mean I forwarded post this. He didn't, it cut off the line below the picture. I don't know. I mean, I forwarded to him in an email what I wanted tweeted. And I believe him because I think he sent it back.

There was nothing underneath on the tweet. He didn't edit me. He can't think I'm that stupid. He says, I didn't fucking edit you. I didn't see it. It doesn't matter if you didn't see it. It would still be on there. But I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying.

doesn't matter if you didn't see it, it would still be on there. But I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying. Anyways, even without the mean line, this gets over 2,000 likes, which is a good sign maybe I am done being shadowed. I don't know. But the point being is I didn't even, I'm just stating what the commercial stated. So Perez Hilton, I guess, picks up on it. What did I send you? Did I send you Perez's website? You know, Perez Hilton, big girl, offended by anything. And this is what it says on Perez Hilton. I'm kind of proud to be on it, I guess.

I mean, he is kind of a big deal, isn't he? People have been melting down online all week because Gatorade debuted a new commercial that shows, gasp, a plus-size woman a new commercial that shows, gasp, a plus-size woman working out. And again, right there, nobody has a problem with a plus-size woman working out. You see how their mentality, because they've been picked on their whole life. Yeah, seriously, get ready for a really stupid controversy here, which you made a controversy,

by the way. But the way a lot of kind, considerate social media users have clapped back against these icky trolls is actually really inspiring. Do you hear how ignorant this fucking guy is, or whoever works for him? We're trolls by stating something.

If you took a poll of the fucking six billion people on the planet, 90% of them would be agreeing with me and you. But we're the dumb ones. They live in a world that's just... Anyways, last week, the sports drink company debuted a new Gatorade fit commercial tying into the new year and resolutions and all that.

The brand showed three people exercising and using Gatorade to rehydrate. One of those three is a plus-size yoga practitioner and teacher named Jessamyn Stanley. And that ain't her. There she is. Over at Twitter, again, this is on PerezHill, over on Twitter,

a bunch of haters picked up on Jessamyn Stanley's appearance in the ad and moved to criticize it. Comedian Nick DiPaolo slammed Jessamyn's inclusion. So great. Brace for it. Here comes the big slam. Yeah.

And here's the big slam. Gatorade commercial refers to her as fit. I was furious at Tommy because I thought he edited me when I put blow me. Blow me. Whatever the fuck. Oh, blow me. That is all. Which is kind of funny and cute and right to the point right but do you see the the immaturity uh as far as their mentality a bunch of haters you see what i'm saying if they if they disagree with how you think you're a hater and

that's what's ruined this country and i guess they they did. No, Gary, this is not healthy. Steven Crowder went on the same, did the same thing. I guess he does what I do. Then it says, ugh, like, why go after someone, ugh. Like, why go after, yeah, like. He is like a 12-year-old girl. Why go after someone who is very obviously working hard to improve themselves? Again, do you see how they're trolling

me? And one who by the way is already a renowned yoga adherent and clearly strong as fuck. I don't like the language. It's offensive, you fucking goo-gobbling faggot. Would like to see DiPaolo or cry to... Oh, Jesus. I didn't like the language. It's offensive, you fucking goo-gobbling faggot.

Would like to see DiPaolo or cry to... Oh, Jesus. I didn't read that. Game on. Game on, bitches. I cannot wait to get my wife's tiniest thong. You're taking the picture, Del. This is going to be fucking...

And it might take 20 minutes to get me in that position. I'm an old man. Yeah, we'll make it happen. And it's going immediately on Twitter. Oh, I don't want to be fucking... And it might take 20 minutes to get me in that position. I'm an old man. Yeah, we'll make it happen, and it's going to immediately tagging us. Oh, my tooth's coming out. I can't... Thankfully, as the latter's tweet blew up over the last few days, other people

haven't been afraid to take him to task. Who are they talking about? Crowder? Crowder. Yeah. All right. They didn't bother me. So I just wanted to, and of course my fans had all these comments that they listed. That were just classic, you know. Fit or fat.

Oh, you used the wrong vowel. All kinds of funny shit. And again, Mr. Perez Hilton, you stupid fag. Like there's any other kind, honestly. Well, that's not true either. God bless her. That's athletic. And you know what?

I admit that would be hard for me to do, but trust me. I'm fit for a 61-year-old. Don't make me come over there and jerk you off to prove it I'll snap that prick right off you we'll play pin the prick on the fag there she is and by the way the lady drinking the Gatorade

that's no that's Zarex they love that shit y'all fat fuck look at you you fat nasty black bitch shit. Jasmine or jismin or whatever your name is honest to god honey but you're not fit okay that's all and Perez and all you jerk-off haters you can't twist reality you can't take objective reality which is reality's objective inherently and and put your own spin on it oh i i wanted to be a pro quarterback but you know what if i put this virtual reality thing it's the same thing you can't do that and you know who does that kids who were picked on and shit for whatever fucking reason i I'm glad I used to pick on you anyways. But, you know, if I was in the gym and walked by her and I'd go,

what the fuck? I'd go, Jasmine. Scented. But no, I, I, I, again, I'll say it again, she's not fit. And we'll be reading about her in a few years when she's tired of standing on her head and she's got type 11 diabetes

and I can't wait to see her do that pose when both her feet are cut off see now that's it now that's being hit that's being it's actually being funny okay that's not hateful i gave her her due she's flexible and athletic i'll give you all that there isn't a fat i guarantee there isn't a white woman that size that could do that I'll give you all that. There isn't a fat, I guarantee there isn't a white woman that size that can do that. And I'll say this,

and it's a generalization. They're very athletic, black people, Samoans. I saw a Samoan football player walking down the beach, played for university, whatever the fuck,

300 something pounds, not a defensive back who's 200 or whatever, a 330 pound lineman do a, and land on his feet. That I almost, it's still the best thing I've seen ever on a fuck. So I'm just saying, but you can't, I'll argue until you're blue in the face

that that's fitness, because it's not. Nobody will tell you that, except for you people who like Perez Hilton, who lives in a different world. That's all I got to say about it. And thank you, DePaulo fans. What do you think? Let me ask you, Dal. If the funny line was in there, the mean line, would I have gotten more?

I know I would have got more people upset. I think you would have gotten more, because a lot more people would have commented, laughed. But then, yeah, the people that were upset, which is a part of the engagement, would have responded. That's right, brother. I got to talk to Tommy. I got to get a clear view.

I want a ruling on this. All right. All righty then. Let's move on to more people arguing about nothing. That's all we do in America. We fucking sit and fight with each other. And as you know, the whole, you've got the whole, I didn't even check this morning, McCarthy,

Kevin McCarthy trying to become the House Speaker, and there's about 20 real conservatives in the Republican caucus that are holding out. And I'm on their side, of course. I said to Gutfeld, I texted Gutfeld, I said, I'm on the side of the 20 rebels. Go ahead. As of nine minutes ago, McCarthy fails on seventh Speaker of the House ballot. That's all right. I think the government out of commission is doing all this.

And I say that wholeheartedly and sincerely. But I said I tweeted to Gutfeld. I'm on the rebels, the 20 holding out. And he writes back, of course you are. Which kind of pissed me off to be kind of presumptuous I said no Greg you're right you know I said it and and all the revolutions past that we've learned from people humans are you real big on nuance in between two positions right they really they're about the gray area I said the path has been chosen by the Democrats I want somebody I said, the path has been chosen by the Democrats. I want somebody, I said, put Nick Fuentes in there as House Speaker.

Remember that? But we can do, see, me and Greg can have our differences. You know, but I didn't like that. Of course you are. I think they call that presumption. Even though he's right on the fucker. I'm just saying. I like, so Bo,

anyways, Bo Bear is on the cutie. She's a little bit of cutie, but turn me off totally with this. She was on Hannity and they get in a shout match. And if you listen to Hannity for the years or whatever, which I used to, I just, I don't listen to anybody anymore. He doesn't usually raise his voice or whatever the fuck. They get into a shouting match. And Bo Bear, I got to tell you, I'm on your side as far as the big argument. But the way you handle yourself in the show by trying to filibuster her, which is what Democrats do. They talk over you and they know they're getting beat. And she's got that, you know, shrill woman's voice.

You know, let's say I don't want to fuck you, but I just grab your tits. Oh, Nicky Diggie. Let's, so they start arguing. Hannity's like, hey, and I disagree with Hannity's point about McCarthy because I laid it out for you guys yesterday who he thinks should be chairman of these committees and they're slimy, two-faced,

and I don't trust him either. I'm on her side, but you can't come on like this. And Sean uses, of course, logic and reasoning like a man does when he's fighting. And here it is. Town Hall quoted you today saying the president, you said complimentary things about President Trump, needs to tell Kevin McCarthy that, sir, you do not have the votes. It's time to withdraw. Let me turn the tables, Congresswoman. Kevin McCarthy has 202, three votes.

Your side has 20. So if I'm going to use your words and your methodology and your math, is it a time for you to pack it in and your side to pack it in, considering he has over 200 and you have 20? Sean, I understand the frustration, I promise you. I'm not frustrated. He does not have the vote. And we are hearing, we are hearing from many people who are still voting with Kevin McCarthy.

See, see her raise her voice. And I hate what she just did. She didn't answer the question, which is a, that's how you, even her, she's supposed to be a right-wing radical. I don't like her methodology of talking over people because she's already caught. In my eyes, I've watched a million of these. They raise their voices, keep talking over you when they know you're cornered. She didn't, he got her on the first question. And again, I'm on her side as far as the answer goes. But go ahead. Listen to that voice. Answer my question of what we're doing and they're cheering us on. So there are more

for us than are against us. And they are waiting for Kevin to cave. You know, the American people are certainly frustrated by it. I'm frustrated by you not answering a direct question. You said to President Trump, you said earlier today that President Trump needs to tell Kevin McCarthy, you don't have the votes. We need to come up with a consensus candidate to elect a Speaker of the House. You don't have the votes and it's time to withdraw. He has 203. Your side has 20.

Why is it time for him to withdraw and not you when he has so many more votes? Well, Sean, he needs 218 and he does not have 218. We've been trying to work this out in private, as you said. Hannity should have said he's a lot closer to 218 than you are. And again, I'm on her side. Oh, my God. Is this what we got for brains over here she should do it not halt the top go ahead for months but kevin mccarthy didn't even want to listen to us until his disappointing midterms we all want a unified party but this isn't chaos it's a functioning constitutional republic when everything is said and done. And she's right there. I don't, you know what I mean?

You don't want to do it like the Democrats, where they all go lock step, even if some of them don't agree. Well, I guess you do if you want to win. I mean, you know what I mean? They always have a unified front. That's because it's a religion to them. They really put this first in their lives. You know,

people on the right, conservatives, they actually have family, kids, and they raise them. You know what this first in their lives. You know, people on the right, conservatives, they actually have family, kids, and they raise them. You know what I mean? Who's more likely at 7 a.m. to be laying on their bed tweeting or trolling political-making statements on social media? A mom who votes Democrat or, you know what I mean? Anyways, go ahead, cutie pie. Okay, I like the cliche. House Republicans will be stronger and better prepared to lead than we ever have before. I believe that this is what our founding fathers intended and this is showing that our

votes are working. Shut up! Congresswoman, I'd ask you not to filibuster. Yesterday you voted and Jim Jordan was your choice. Today it was Byron Donaldson was your choice. Tomorrow, I don't know who you're going to vote for.

But the bottom line is you still only have 20 votes. Let me ask you this. Kevin McCarthy... I think we're proving that we're open to a menu of options. All right, I can't. That's enough.

That's enough. You got your nose bloody, sugar. Sorry. And Hannity's a pit bull. I mean, he's done this for fucking 40 years. Everybody, the people on the left hate him more than anybody. Oh, he's a sellout.

And I, whatever. Anyways, my point being, I'll say it again and again, I'm in agreement with her. I don't care if it takes a year. Really? Ooh. It's not considered a government shutdown, but you can't do anything until he's in, the speaker is in place. Shit can't go forward.

You know, like going after, hey, did anybody see, I don't have to watch Gutfeller, he's Tom Mishu, Tom Mishu. Tom Shalhoub doing Adam Schiff. Oh my God, check it out if you have time. Oh my, he's got a new character. Shalhoub's gonna be famous from this show.

Anyways, yeah, learn to come on. Put on a bathing suit when you go on Hannity. What's the matter with you? What the fuck's the matter with you? All right, let's move on. I'm tired.

But I'm all for the rebel forces because, you know, can't you look at him and tell he's a mainstream? What more do you need to know? And I read all the things from Dan Horowitz's article from The Blaze yesterday, that who he supports, and it sounds like a Democrat almost. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I'll be back on the road a week from tomorrow, which sends a shiver up my 61-year-old dried-up ass. Here's where you can see me. A colored kid's house on Wednesday.

January 13th and 14th, comedy off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. Just the word Broadway and Kentucky don't go together. Right? Instead of the Helen Hayes Theater, they have the fucking Buck Henry. February 3rd and 4th, the Grove Comedy Club, Lowell, Arkansas.

March 11th, and I could be, look, I showed up at Huntsville. I'd never be in there, not knowing to expect. I got a stand ovation when they brought me on. So I don't know what's waiting for me. I doubt that. March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City. That's in Kansas City, Mizzou.

April 21 and 22, the Funny Bone in St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri. May 12th, Hilton Daytona Beach, Oceanfront Resort, Daytona Beach, Florida. I hope I don't back into a cop car. You can get tickets at all these shows

at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button, motherfuckers. Blood Ties is the next story. Could life be imitating art? at all these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button, motherfuckers. Blood Ties is the next story. Could life be imitating art? The sister of accused Idaho college killer Brian Koberger starred in a gory, low-budget slasher movie where characters are brutally stabbed, slashed, and hacked to death with knives and hatchets, creepy, creepy.

Hum-a-na-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum. hacked to death with knives and hatchets creepy creepy. Amanda Kohlberger appeared as a don't they have an Amanda Kohlberger at Arby's with Wagyu beef? Oh that's the other thing. Arby's doesn't even have real beef. I don't think. I don't doesn't even have real beef. I don't think. I don't even think they have real ground beef. They're trying to tell us they're using Wagyu beef, which is Japanese beef. I had a Wagyu steak, it was $150. Best thing I have had in a restaurant, period.

These motherfuckers want me to believe I can get a Wagyu beef. Back to the... Amanda Kohlberger appeared as Lori in the 2011 flick two days back about a group of young students hiking in the remote woods and meet their grisly end at the hands of a maniacal killer who has won their trust. Let's take a look at the trailer. You got to admit, it's kind of creepy. Go ahead. Oh, pause. Wait a minute. Oh, she's a little girl there. I didn't know.

That's how sick I am. I didn't even look at her face. I thought that was a teenager. Okay. Like I said, she's ugly. Go ahead. When I was a little girl, I got lost in the woods. I'm sorry. It took them two days to find me. Pause. And then a washed up Italian comedian found me. Kept me in his garage.

Write that down. Go ahead. Since then, I've avoided the woods. Until now. We've learned that a group of forestry students are planning to go up the mountain and cut trees. Okay, Herbie from Rudolph. So you mean to tell me that some companies want to pass $1,000 over fall break? That's the deal.

Leave Friday, two days to get there, two days work, and two days back. You think those guys over there are really plotting the end of the world? I'll bet whatever they are talking about is not good for the planet. We need to follow them up there and document what they're doing.

Hey, how come only a half a dozen trees are marked? I don't know, black guy. No skid trails, no landing? That doesn't make any sense. Shut up, white guy. Where's Chase? Is that her? This is Emma, Steve, and Ben.

Their friend got hurt. Is she the same bro we just saw? Yeah. Okay, she had a ponytail one second. Who's doing continuity? And here you got a a young fucking Mel Gibson. Go ahead.

I think it would be safer if we were to stay here with people who know what they're doing. What is it? Cabin down there? Maybe they have a phone. Who has a phone out here? Jackass. I love these slasher movies. Kenny Rogers used to do a bit about,

Hey, I think I hear something in the basement. Let's go down and check it out. Go ahead. It's just a hunter's cabin. The season hasn't even started yet. There won't be anybody there. Oh, yeah, the woman. I'm not leaving him.

I don't even know which one she is. Oh, that's her. Pause. Wakes up and sees a University of Maine football poster. All right, I think we get the idea. I'd see it. Fuck it. That's kind of creepy, though.

Ain't it? It's a weird coincidence. They don't tell you that the brother directed it. Look at me laughing with my hillbilly tooth. This might be the funniest show I've ever done. I'm extra fat today. I don't know why. It bears eerie similarities to the knife attack. Well, thanks for connecting the dots for us.

This is a girl who just tried my sauce on Sunday. Similarities to the knife attacks in remote Moscow, Idaho, that left four young college friends stabbed to death in their beds. Yeah, we know. Fucking crimes of which Brian now stands. You're fucking kidding me. Her brother is that guy? Goddamn, man.

Holy cow. Said, holy cow. I hope he didn't write the script. Two days back, director Kevin Boone, when reached by the Post, said, Boone, a professor at English and Media Studies at Penn State, Mont Alto, explained he made the film with the students and cast aspiring actress Amanda Kohlberger after an open audition. I remember her well.

Her brother held the knife to my neck and said, give her the part. No. I directed the movie, wrote the movie. I cast her, he said. She's a lovely woman. She's very nice. I thought I was going to get laid.

No. I liked her a lot. I was choking her on the couch like Harvey did. The film follows a group of environmentally conscious students who go into the woods on a six-day mission to catch forestry students suspected of illegal foresting, according to the film's promotional material. Things quickly go wrong as the student goes missing and are found slashed by knives and left to bleed out,

hacked with a hatchet, caught in a bear trap, and at least one character is killed then bound to a goddamn tree i tell you multiple students end up getting murdered by a twisted peer with a previously unknown connection to the woods uh but not amanda's uh laurie as things start to get weird she flees and is seen safely back on campus at the end of the film. Lori turns her back on the other people and takes off. But she's not one of the murdered, said Boone. Meanwhile, Brian faces, and back to real life,

her brother faces very serious charges of murdering the Idaho students, blah, blah, blah, we already know about, as they slept in their fucking beds. There's the scumbag right there. Bye-bye, dickhead. Amanda, who now works as a licensed school counselor in Pennsylvania was in court on Tuesday to support their brother before he was extradited to Idaho she was joined by her sister Melissa and parents Michael and Marianne the

family released a statement Sunday saying they stand by Brian in order to promote his presumption of innocence um and they put it in quotes, that last part. They're being very, you know, they're not being assholes. They're doing it. The alleged killer, I guess when you're a parent, you have to, it's called unconditional love, I guess, but that wouldn't work with my dad. Fuck, if I spilled coffee, he'd say, I don't know the kid. The alleged killer is expected to plead not guilty to the crimes.

His Pennsylvania-based lawyer, Saul Saul, no, Jason Labar, that's French for bar, previously said in a statement that Brian is eager to be exonerated of these charges. I'm eager to see that. One of Amanda Koberk's co-stars, Catherine Howard, told the Post the two were friends when we made the film, but we didn't stay in touch I don't know how much about her family or I don't know much about her family or anything she was a very sweet girl we got along very great she said Boone remembered Amanda Kohlberg as easy to work with and said she did a great job acting I know she had tried to get into movies on low-budget movies. There's a bunch of scummy kind of guys out there.

I'm sure you cast her because of her acting. Get the fuck out of here. But she was smart enough not to go for that stuff and was dumb enough to find my shit. Fascinating. There was nothing weird about her, Boone said. I can't even believe she smelled terrific. Her neck.

No, I cannot believe that's her brother. Amanda's page on IMBD doesn't list any other acting credits. Two days back can be viewed online. You got to feel for the family, man. What do you, you know? But isn't that kind of creepy, dude? It's like, I don't know, it's like if I got, if I got stuck on a desert island. Desert island? Is that even a thing? I meant deserted. Boy, am I fucking retarded. If I got caught on a deserted island for a year, then I'm trying to come up with an analogy.

Then I found out I was related to Bob Denver. Keep going. No, that's it. That's all I got to tell you. Oh, my God, did that suck. Oh, my God. Anyhow, that's it, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. Come see me a week from tomorrow in Kentucky, will you, please?

Especially if you got big, blubby tits. I'm talking about the guys. My wife's great. Dallas is about my wife. You're a piece of ass. And way too smart. I would have never married a known this. I was looking for a retarded aerobics instructor.

Nice body, but, you know, has to put a helmet on when she gets on the bus. I don't know. Okay, that is it, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile. It tells you how to do roast a friend or relative. Go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile.

It tells you how to do it. Anything else? I think that's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend, and we'll see you back here on Monday. Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music