The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hamas Hostage Deal Possible | Nick Di Paolo Show #1485

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Tlaib's cancelation, a hostage hold off, possum pooping and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Ah, the homosexuals. Hey, welcome to the show on a Monday. How are you, folks? Hey, welcome to the show on a Monday. How are you, folks? I'm your humble, handsome host and, you know, all sugar and lights, as they say. Something like that. You heard that. I was a fat girl in the back from Norcross. I'm starting to grab names from Georgia. How was your weekend? I, you know, typical me.

NFL picks, I can't even. My mom is smoking me. Not literally. This is in Tennessee. Listen. She's like eighth or ninth place out of 120-some people. I'm 91st. I can't pick my ass.

She doesn't even get the spread. She just picks the. Okay, so what does that tell you? Anyways, and I know you've heard me talk about this ad infinitum, but NFL versus college, just Missouri, Florida, and Washington, Oregon State, two of the best college games I've seen in a long time. Vicious hitting, unbelievable catches, unbelievable play. And then I put on the NFL the next day, and I'm watching Flag after.

They're ruining their own product. Ah, you heard it all. Anyways, what else? Rosalind Carter died, which you're like, who gives a fuck? Well, I met Jimmy, And he's very nice. Very nice. And I didn't meet her. She don't like Italians.

No. Well, anyways, me and my wife predict that Jimmy's going to go in a few days. That's the type of couple. You know what I mean? She was 96, and my wife had a good., my wife goes, you know, Jimmy's laying there after she died. I won. Funny bitch.

And real, I'm not touching on this today, maybe tomorrow. I don't know what we are. Do we have an interview tomorrow? We're airing? Yeah, Ben Stein. First half. First half of Ben Stein tomorrow.

And maybe tonight, I don't know, folks. I might be on Jesse Watershow. So I don't know. They called and it's still, you know. Anyways, I guess that's about George Floyd. Somebody made a documentary. The police commissioner of Minneapolis, the union, the head of the union of the cops in Minneapolis, him and his wife, you know, they got death threats,

all kinds of shit, graffiti on their house and stuff. She got let go because her husband was a cop. She got let go, that's right. She made a documentary, apparently, and sheds a whole new light on how evil the media is. And once again, how Chauvin, you could say he got railroaded almost. Apparently the footage that we never saw,

he's kneeling on his shoulder, not even his neck. And it's in the manual. They wouldn't let, the judge wouldn't let that in, that piece of information. I mean, it's fucking frightening. Because they were afraid if it went against the narrative that was already decided, the place would burn. Well, it burned anyways.

So whatever. Maybe we'll get at that. It was so long. It's one of the articles I can't, you know, everything. It would have been way too fucking long for this show. You know, we have to move on. I'm retarded, my folks. Let's get right to the first story of today.

Terrorist whore canceled. That was the headlines. Arizona State University canceled an event with rep Rashida Tlaib, a controversial douche, I mean, house squad member who has publicly defended calls for genocide against Jewish people. I mean, look at her. At least her looks make up for her shitty attitude. Hates Jews.

Hates Jews. Tlaib was censored by her colleagues. That's like a tit twister. In the U.S. House of Representatives earlier this month for defending Hamas and calling for the destruction of the Jewish state. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. The talk had been organized by the Arizona Palestine Network, great network. I watch a lot of football on there. They have IEDs all over the field. It's very differently, which is not an on-campus organization. Tlaib had been scheduled to speak Friday at the

group's Palestine is an American issue event, which was canceled because the group did not follow proper procedures, according to an ASU spokesman. The event featuring Congresswoman Tlaib was planned and produced by groups not affiliated with ASU and was organized outside of ASU policies and procedures. You should have known something was up. They had a float of Hamas in the parade, and there was no parade. Accordingly, that event will not take place today in the ASU Tempe campus, the spokesman told Fox News.

University decision was completely unacceptable, the Arizona-Palestine Network said. Who watches that? In their own statement on their Facebook page. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Rashida Tlaib must be heard on campus as the only Palestinian member of Congress who plans to speak on an American issue at this event. ASU cannot claim to hold free speech as a principal while denying Palestinians their voice on campus. Why not? Why not? All other colleges deny conservative voices. Ask Ann Coulter about it, or even my boy Crowder. Ask them about trying to make speeches. So fuck up. How's it feel? Want to play this game? Finally, the right's grown some balls.

Canceling this event put the university in direct contradiction with its charter. As the university measured, not by whom it excludes, but by whom it includes, and how they succeed, they said. Boy, they're just... Boy, you make me sick. I fucking... You make me sick.

Hates Jews? Hates Jews? Who? Me? No. I'm in show business. Nick, that's an ugly stereotype. Oh, for Christ's sake, it's a joke. You see how they are, though? Huh? Taste of your own medicine.

They just can't handle the truth. I don't see how this, like I said, balkanization of the countries, like you said, let's split it up. It is beyond repair. Unless, again, Trump gets in there and does what he said he's going to do. He's going to deport every friggin' set up camps. Good for him. Let's move on. Hostage holdoff. Oh, kind of related. Negotiations on an Israeli hostage deal are very close to the finish line. This was from

yesterday, so I don't know, maybe today it could be breaking news. Deputy U.S. National Security Advisor John Feiner, to be in her vagina in the morning, suggested Sunday. He said that yesterday on Face the Nation, he said this with the lying whore Margaret Brennan. Many areas of difference that previously existed have been narrowed, that we believe we are closer than we have been to reaching a final agreement. But that on an issue as sensitive as this and as challenging as this, the mantra that nothing is agreed until everything is agreed really does apply. And we do not yet have an agreement in place. And so until that is the case, you know, we're not going to lay out all the details in public. Tell you what, then, why don't you wait to go on the show when you have it laid out?

What are you, cock-teasing us with your stupid stories? Yeah, can you imagine trying to negotiate with Hamas? Oh, I bet you they're flexible, huh? We don't even know if these, we don't know how many, they probably, they could have had 400 hostages, killed 200, and this is what's left. You don't know. It's just, so if it does happen, there's going to be a little pause in the action, but I'm telling you, we all know Netanyahu is not playing. Soon as that deal is done, he's stepping back on the gas, I would hope,

on, he's stepping back on the gas, I would hope, and finishing the job, I would hope, anyways, that's what Faina had to, is there more, no, you know, every minute, every hour, every day that these people spend in this situation is too long, so it's not acceptable that they have been held as long as they have. This is really an unconscionable act by Hamas. And so that is why it is our priority, not just to get them out at some point, but to get them out absolutely as soon as possible. Thank you, Captain Redundant.

The fuck did I even mean? I don't goddamn know. But I mean, some of them are in poor health. They said they were going to release mostly women and children. I don't hear any feminists screaming at that. Hey, we're equal. What about the men? Huh, you notice?

The Titanic's going down. Nobody was yelling, hey, fucking men first. What? Get it? Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I'll be talking about, I'll tell you why Joe Namath might be the next Jerry Sandusky. No, actually Paterno. Think about it.

You put it together. I don't, eh, I'll give you my take on it. Also, a very famous porn star who was charged with multiple felonies. They're letting him out of jail because he's, oh, he doesn't feel good. He's very sick. I met the guy in person, had him on my radio show before we knew he was crazy. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts,

hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to NickDip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. What you doing? No, no, no, no!

Dallas has to get out of here. He's got a 1014 at the... Dallas says he's sticking with the dance lessons. What I did? did No I was fighting With computer software The entire fucking weekend What kind of computer software

Adobe What for personal stuff You mean Yeah Other stuff And editing And all sorts of garbage Really

Sounds like a good weekend The whole weekend Was Monday for me Electronically So glad I know So little about The whole weekend was Monday for me electronically So glad I know so little about it It can't happen to me It's really beautiful Honey, I'm like Christopher Moltisanti

He was trying to write a movie on his computer I swear to God It made my hair stand up It was me This fucking thing ain't my script, Adriana. Fucking thing. We did actually have, we made some, the Pollo Pepian that we learned in Guatemala.

We made that yesterday, so it was pretty good. It was a good movie, too. Pollo Pepian and... Indie classic. Yeah. Do you remember Papillon, the movie? Oh, dude. You call yourself a director?

What are you, nuts? What is Pollo Papillon again? Strain baby? Yeah. Chicken with the papillon is... What's the papillon exactly? It's a mix of tomato, tomatillo. It's got pumpkin seeds, sesame,

a whole bunch of shit roasted and blended and then it becomes this wonderful sauce that goes on the chicken mixed with pumpkin, carrot and potato. Jesus H. It doesn't know what it is. It sounds so good. Can I ask a question? I don't mean to get too gross, folks.

Last week, I had a number two. I hadn't gone in two days, and it was wider than my forearm. And it, did I mention this? It ripped my asshole. I was doing, I'm not kidding. I was going, ow, ow, ow, because I was dehydrated, I guess.

I should have taken Lamaze classes. I was like, honestly, it must be like a prison rape. And I looked down in the water. It's all blood, light blood, pinkish. And when I wiped, I'm sorry to gross you out, all blood. Yes, it ripped my asshole. So never again will I ask my wife to do anal.

I'm kidding. I don't ask. I just go right in there. That's a true story. How does that not get infected? Jesus Christ. And a couple times, but then I went a couple times and I didn't see blood. And then I went and I came back a little. I don't know. But I'm like

Vince Lombardi who died of prostate cancer because he refused to have a prostate exam. of prostate cancer because he refused to have a prostate exam. He refused to do that his whole life. Because he didn't want a guy's finger up his ass. I'm the same way. That thing, you'll see me in a month, I'm down 80 pounds. They said my tank got infected. Dallas, help me. I'm not going to have somebody sew up my ass. Call in Lou Du Dallas, help me.

I'm not going to have somebody sew up my ass. Call in Lou Duva, fight man. Oh, God, that's gross. Okay, in our FLA segment tonight, and don't edit all that out. You know not, right? In our FLA segment tonight, you guys are new to the show. That means fucking lunatic asylum.

A Florida man was arrested after allegedly, oh my God, I guess, I didn't mean to foreshadow. I really didn't. I didn't know this was coming. Well, this leads right into it, my poops. A Florida man was arrested after allegedly defecating on a dead possum.

Now look, I've wiped my ass with a dead possum because it was so sore. Softer than toilet paper. I used to say that in my act. My ass is so sore, I'd rather wipe my ass with a live rabbit. Dead possum in the middle of rush hour traffic. I'll repeat that. A guy was seen by not only the public, but a cop taking a dump on a dead possum on the side of the road. Come on, I love my country. Rudy Wilcox. He doesn't look like the type that would do that. Oh my god, look at him. Nose has been busted a few times. Tell me he didn't. If this ain't, if they don't put this picture on the bottle of meth rudy wilcox was picked up by

clearwater police on wednesday around 5 30 p.m after he was seen dropping trial in the middle of the belcher road and willow tree trail intersection then laying who wrote this then laying a log on the doubly unfortunate possum in full view of the motoring but the poor possum first of all he gets hit by a truck, you know? This guy comes over. Hey! Get off me! The defendant was observed. This is the cops talk,

and I love how they have to stay professional. The defendant was observed defecating on a deceased possum with his pants lowered and his anal region exposed. Region. Yeah, exactly. What are we doing, a weather report?

Hi, in the 60s, this low will be moving up into the northeast region, dropping a deuce on a dead kitten, a Pinellas County affidavit obtained by the smoking gun red. They get all the good stories. When questioned, Wilcox said, it's not what it looked like. When questioned, Wilcox denied the accusation. How do you deny?

They asked him, did you take a dump on a fucking dead animal? That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer. Oh, you are though. Anyways,

he said when I asked him, he said the office who witnessed him doesn't see straight. But police weren't having it because they're very good at their job. Physical evidence was viewed at the scene, which corroborates the allegations alleged.

The affidavit noted. Wilcox, who's a homeless man, here he is in an earlier shot when he was channeling Ziggy Stardust, or is it Iggy? I can't remember. David Bowie character in the 70s, who is homeless. He's got a nice head of hair there. He looks like Lucille ball in high school is a home he uh he wasn't under the influence that's my favorite part of any intoxicants at

the time of the alleged incident that's what makes it doubly delicious usually it's you know florida meth and he was charged with exposure of sexual organs of the nether regions and booked at the Pinellas County. Pinellas County has a, right? Are they always in the mix? God damn. Anyhow, I forgot a bunch of sound drops. All righty then, let's move on in the show. Say it ain't so, Joe.

And no, I'm not talking about the president of the United States. I'm talking about a hero of mine and a lot of people my age. Well, Jets legend Joe Namath. Now, the guy comes right out who writes this. I don't know if it's a guy. It could be a woman. The New York Post has the worst. It's getting worse. So I don't know if this person disliked it. But the opening section, Jets legend Joe Namath is akin to disgraced Penn State football coach Joe Paterno covering up sexual abuse at his facility, according to court papers filed by a man who says he was assaulted there 51 years ago. Joe, if this goes to court, don't wear that coat.

Fucking Zsa Zsa Gabor. It was like Michael Jackson when he showed up and gets out of the thing with a pink umbrella. Oh, that's going to help you. Remember? Fucking Mary Poppins on the stand. I didn't touch nobody. You gotta, you gotta. I remember going, he's got a roller coaster in his yard. Guilty. Philippe, that's Philip with one L. I gave it a French spin.

Philip Lyle Smith, 64 years old. Definitely raped as a kid. Look at his fashion sense now. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I mean, what I'm saying, he's dressed nicely, not like a guy. You know what I mean? He's clean.

He's like Obama when he's running. Takes a shower. Anyways, Philip Smith recently told the Post about his horrific ordeal at a Joe Namath instructional football camp. Smith said his alleged sexual predator was a well-known Brooklyn Poly Prep country club football coach, Philip Fogietta. Later, Fogietta was revealed to be a serial pedophile who abused scores of students in the Tony school. You ever seen a grown man naked? Fulgietta, who died in 1998 on top of two Cub Scouts, no, was allegedly allowed to repeatedly sexually attack Smith at the camp starting when the boy was just 12.

Well, that's when they're delicious. Cut. What? Claiming to the Post that Namath and other lawsuit defendants were enablers and pedophile protectors. The case is equally about the many adults, I think this is Smith talking, in positions of power at the camp,

including Joe Namath, an ex-Jets defensive back and camp partner, John Ducary, ex-Jets defensive back and camp partner, John Ducary, who, a white defensive back, that's how you know it's a long time ago, who are aware of tolerated and covered up known sexual abuse at the camp, abuse that had a lasting effect on, he went as John Doe, obviously, and the kid. But I'm saying, how do you know that, you know what I mean? kid. But I'm saying, how do you know that, you know what I mean?

I just find it hard to believe that Joe would, if he knew, he wouldn't. Well, there's a different situation. Smith's lawsuit claims that while Fulgetti groomed and abused him, he received special perks at the camp, including involving the Jets Hall of Famer,

you know, Joe Namath. He got access to him and, hey, little boy, you want some candy? Every night, this is the victim talking. Every night, I'm sorry, this is the victimizer, the abuser. This is what he'd say to the kid. He'd say, see what I did? You have pictures with so-and-so. Joe talked to you today. How can you do that without me? He asked the kid. That was part of his grooming to abuse me, Smith said.

According to the lawsuit, Pauly Prep later discovered and admitted that Fulgietta had preyed on male students for years and ended up settling a massive suit and sending a letter of apology to alumni, including Smith. A little late, ain't it? Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you. Oh, goodness. A Brooklyn Supreme Court denied a defense motion to dismiss the case, and at least several of the defendants have appealed that decision as the case continues. So they won't let it get dismissed, which they shouldn't. But I just have a problem with him going, Joe, no, definitely. He was literally like the most popular guy on the planet at that point. Kind of busy. Oh, come on, Nick. The guy was a poly prep guy,

whatever the freak. I mean, in a different time. Now you're like, oh, that makes sense. Like I said, if I had kids, I wouldn't let them do anything with a male coach or a male fucking masseuse or a male dancer. I mean, figure skater. Anyhow, so I don't know that you can pin it on Joe saying, yeah, he knew, although we'll find out if they dig deeper, I guess. Isn't there a statute of limitations? There's got to be a statute of limitations. Limitations. Statute of situation.

Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of my show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show, Stephen Crowder's full show. I think I'm going there next week. And a whole lot more, including Alex Jones every Friday. So do that now, would you? It's great entertainment. And Crowder's show is really deep into facts and figures.

I tell the truth, too, but I don't have 111 guys like NASA to back it all up. guitar solo Outro Music