The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hamas Leader Meets Virgins | Nick Di Paolo Show #1476

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Hamas losing it's leader and more! Support our sponsor, Displate! Head to https://displate.com/nickdipaolo?art=6526d4071e9f8 and use code NICKDIP to get Displates up to 30% off. Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Welcome to the show, everybody. That's right. I know it looks like AOC headquarters, a couple of communists, but respect the flag. Yeah, sail the old Navy. A couple of fags went down here. Got some nice jackets. Do you believe this shit? We didn't call each other. We didn't even have phones. We don't have landlines. Well, we do have landlines. What am I saying? This guy over here, the guy that jumped out of planes and was in Afghanistan for a couple of tours and whatnot, went back to have some more fun. He's turning 27 today.

Look at that. That's in Coke years. Doesn't he look fucking 43 years old? It's true. I said to him, I'll make you feel better. I was 43 in 2005. I was freezing my ass off in Alaska. What were you doing in Alaska? I was at a station there, a paratrooper. Jesus Christ. They ever send you anywhere like, I don't know.

The tropics? No. They never send you to like, you know what, Sandals Resort in Aruba? It's either deserts or shitty fucking places. Ah, God bless you. Seriously. And we'll get to our military today and our fucking commander-in-chief, who apparently is against the Second Amendment. They made that clear today. God, one thing about this, and you're a war man, you understand, we're exposing the scum

for what it is on the left with this whole Middle East disturbance. They are showing their true colors, and they are making fun of the Republicans for being divided on shit. You can't pick a house leader, blah, blah. Meanwhile, these fuckers behind closed doors are going, really, you're defending Hamas? Really, you're taking the side of the Israel?

You're supposed to be anti-war? Yeah. Their fucking logic makes zero sense. What do we got here? Let's get the import shit. Never mind war, peace, logic makes zero sense. What do we got here? Yeah, let's get the import shit. Never mind war, peace, and love and kids. Well, I'm going to make a tiki old-fashioned. A tiki?

See, this guy. Everybody else would make it old-fashioned. This guy spent years in Germany perfecting this. Actually, flow up. No, a tiki. Wait a minute. This is an island drink? It is an island drink. It is an island drink.

It is an alternative. It only requires three ingredients. Three ingredients. Okay. It's going to be rum, some type of liqueur, and a lot of love from me, his life partner.

It's true. It's very true. So we got a Smith & Cross pot still rum, which is my go-to rum. Now, where were you introduced to that? Don't tell me in pot still. Pot stamify, no. Tony go-to rum. Now, where were you introduced to that? Don't tell me in Pott's still. Pott's damn if I know.

Tony Soprano. Actually, online, it's a show we watch. Guy was talking about it. I'm like, I got to try that. And we tried it at Bamboo Room here in Savannah. Ended up naked like an hour and a half later in a fist fight with a nun. You're not wrong. The else he likes is...

Falernum. What is that? That's a liqueur, but what kind? What's it taste like? later in a fist fight with a nun. You're not wrong. The other one likes his... Falernum. What is that? That's a liqueur, but what kind? What's it taste like? An 18-year-old ass? I hope so. It's just sweet as an 18-year-old ass.

Yeah, this replaces the... In old-fashioned, you put demerara sugar in it, but this replaces the sugar, so it gives... Simple sugar, normally? Yeah, normally, but this actually cuts into the sharpness of the pot still run, but also it's more liquor, so it's more booze. Said that like Dean Martin. Welcome to our show, Fag's Drink.

In a three dashes of Angostura bitters. Bitters. The bitter component. They always say, do you have some of that when you get an upset stomach? That's what my grandma did I'm getting a little blood flow As we speak My wife would go crazy right now

She hates that noise Makes her mental Meanwhile she can type away With her fucking fingernails On that computer Sounds like she's Yeah exactly Oh it makes me fucking mental.

Big black woman with the like five inch... That's what I'm talking about. But they can still type? Yeah, I know. Really? That's why my wife's in a woman's shelter

right now with a black eye. What? Cut. Who said shut it? Oh, that's a tiki glass. Yes, it is. I know that. And then...

It's right by a Jamaican. Going to top it off with a couple of ice. Oh, good. I was I was hoping to be more rice I didn't want to be a puss there you go sir oh baby look at that try this at home and the kids the kids would love this shit Right before they go to bed You watch You won't hear a peep The fuck is bitters anyway

I'll tell you what it is It's a wife after 40 years Good night everybody Your ex-wife I'll tell you what it is. It's a wife after 40 years. Good night, everybody. You're not wrong. I'm my ex-wife. Your ex-wife. That's right. I keep forgetting it.

Who has no soul. Went up to bat. Well, none of them do. Yeah, you're right. All right. So hopefully everyone else took stock, paused, got ingredients, made their own. Doing cheers with us. Hope they didn't change the channel to fucking

funny dog tricks on YouTube. And that's that. Let's throw over you. Let's throw over you. Yeah. Mmm. Jesus. That puts me on a beach in Newark that really is islandy yeah but

not too sweet which is why that's right you can't do the two sweet drinks right now I feel like this is Jamaican firing to my wife's purse when we're in the water. Oh, dude. Cheers. Nice going. Good call. That's a nice one. Yeah, it's fucking good. Happy birthday, Dallas. Woo!

43 big ones. Where were you born, Dallas? Abilene, Texas. Holy shit, Abilene. You know what they say about Abilene? It's in Texas. That's about all. It's funny, though.

Abilene. Everybody knows it. All right. What are we doing? First story? Let's get right into it. Say hello to the virgins, you scumbags. That's the headline.

Well, that was kind of harsh. Ah, you sister's box. An Israeli airstrike on Hamas targets Tuesday, who had taken over civilian buildings in the northern Gaza Strip, appears to have killed several terrorists. Ooh, they used the word terrorist. Must be a good magazine. And caused underground tunnels to collapse. I would think that would be easy to do. Apparently expanding the initial damage caused by the strike explosion. Oh, here it comes. How'd that feel?

Again, I keep thinking of the gopher at the end of... I'm all right. News reports Tuesday claim citing... Oh, this is citing Hamas's notorious health ministry, so as you believe these numbers, about as much as the World Health Organization, that 400 people have been killed and wounded in an airstrike on the, again, my eyes are bad, but Jabalia neighborhood in Gaza, known officially as a refugee camp. Yeah, it was known that right after the strike,

they changed it to a refugee camp. Suck a bag of shit, you fucking sand chimps. Thought it consists of multi-story buildings. Yeah, that's where they fucking, that's where they set up shop. Hamas later downgraded the estimate number of casualties to 200, down to 50. Am I reading that right? 50 dead.

Yeah, 50 dead and 150 wounded. A short while ago, IDF fighter jets acting on ISA, Israeli security agency, by the way, Shin Bet Intelligence, killed Ibrahim Biyari. This guy was a strong safety drafted in the second round by the Denver Broncos. No, the commander of Hamas Central Jabalia Battalion. Biyari was one of the leaders responsible for sending Nukma terrorist operatives to Israel to carry out the murderous terror attack on October 7th. Oh, it's a shame you're gone, you fucking scumbag. Anyways, numerous Hamas terrorists were hit in the strike, they say, so good. What?

Kill again! Kill again, little buddy! Biyari oversaw all military operations in the northern Gaza Strip since the IDF entered. Looks like, so they're going to replace him with Josh McDaniel, who just got fired by the Raiders today. He was also responsible for sending the terrorists who carried out the 2004 terrorist attack in the Ajdod port in which 13 Israelis were murdered and was responsible for directing rocket fire at Israel and advancing numerous attacks against the IDF over the last 20 years. He looks like he's 20. They started him young over there. His elimination was carried out as a part of a wide-scale strike on terrorists and terror infrastructure

belonging to the Central Jabalia Battalion, which had taken control over civilian buildings in Gaza City. The strike damaged Hamas command and control in the area, as well as the ability to direct military activity against IDF soldiers operating throughout the Gaza Strip. As a result of the strike, a large number of terrorists who were with Biyari were killed. Underground terror infrastructure embedded beneath the buildings used by the terrorists also collapsed like a 12-year-old girl on the witness stand.

Sounds like a win to me. After a strike. Yeah, sounds like a fastball right down the middle. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa. All on Dallas' birthday. What do you think of that? Hey, in the second half of the show, guys,

I'll be talking about a couple things. A very disturbing incident that happened in a hockey game over in the UK. Didn't even realize they played hockey in the UK. Like, they don't have enough problem with their teeth. And also, I'll be talking about a setback for trans women in the field of sports, which is good news for biological women. You see how that, huh, do you? I sure you do. Hey, we got another new sponsor, which means people are watching. Art doesn't have to be stressful. If you're looking to level up your home quickly, easily, and without breaking the bank, you need to check out Display. Display creates awesome metal posters that take just 20 seconds to install and won't damage your walls.

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to your cart, which is what I like because I can't do math. There you go. And we thank them for sponsoring the show, Displate. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials

and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Headline, terror threat, sky high in the United States. Really, man? The terror threat against the United States reached a whole other level. After Hamas, you know, their sneak attack on Israel, FBI Director Christopher Wray told Congress on Tuesday, saying the big players in terrorism have all renewed calls to attack

America and its interests. Really? Well, whose fault is that? That'll take a nice edit. He said Al-Qaeda, and again, this is not, he's not even talking about, he's not even mentioning the borders being wide open. This is just, you know, since the attacks a couple weeks ago. He said Al-Qaeda has issued its most specific calls for attacks on the U.S. in years. Yeah, they're probably issuing them from a phone down the street. Islamic State leaders ordered followers to attack Jewish communities in Hezbollah as eyeing U.S. targets in the Middle East. communities, and Hezbollah is eyeing U.S. targets in the Middle East. Iran, meanwhile, has pushed proxy attacks on U.S. military bases. It's up to like 40-something, 47 attacks, and we're sitting there with our thumb up our ass like we're a fourth-rate power because we have a douchebag

Democrats in charge. Get out of the way. It's literally an act of war. It's an act of war, and we're sitting there diddling. The reality is that the terrorism threat has been elevated throughout 2003. Tree? All of a sudden, I'm an Italian guy. All of a sudden, 2003. I put two dimes on fucking Hamas. They got blown out of the water.

I got a two-team tease. I get Hezbollah. Throughout 2023, but the ongoing war in the Middle East has raised the threat of attacks on Americans to a whole new level, Mr. Wray said, because he's busy looking for white supremacy. The eight guys that work in a Sunoco in South Carolina jerk off. He said the greatest threat to the United States

still comes from, oh, it's no longer us. It's no longer white terrorists, white old men. It comes from lone actors or small cells of radicalized people using weapons to attack soft targets like my belly. Yeah. Radicalized people. That's right.

That's right. That's right. Brought to you by Facebook and all the other jerk-offs. I wonder if, what's his name, threw some money in. But Hamas, October 7 terrorist raid on Israel, has made the possibility of a foreign-based attack more likely. To have this many foreign terrorism organizations this explicitly calling for attacks significantly takes the threat level

to the threat environment, the risk to a whole other level. Yeah, thank you for pointing that out four times. What are you doing about it, dinkweed? Huh? What are you doing? Arresting Republicans on college campuses for speaking out?

Fucking embarrassment. Hey, Joe. What are you doing, arresting Republicans on college campuses for speaking out? Fucking embarrassment. Hey, Joe, you could say we're in World War III, if not a minute away. And again, thank you guys who supposedly voted for him, which you didn't, but it's still the 12 of you that did. Nice going. Fuck you MSNBC, NBC, CBS, and ABC2, for making a lot of people dumb in this country. But it's good.

It shows what your true colors are. That's one thing that's exposed this. Next story, Biden hates the Second Amendment. Sort of related to what we're talking about. Tell me you don't need proof of this. The federal constitution is a limited powers document. You know what that means? It was designed to restrain.

But the thing is, those shackles are for the federal government, not us, the American people. So it's no wonder why the federal politicians hate it so much, the Second Amendment. The little people are citizens and not subjects. These citizens have the right to peacefully assemble and petition the government for a redress or grievance there to own firearms to defend themselves if all else fails. The horror, huh? On Saturday, Israeli outlet Heretz reported that National Security Minister Itmar Ben-Gur had been pictured handing out rifles to the nation's citizens. You know, like a Second Amendment, ours, and community security squads located throughout the kibbutzim.

The episode created a diplomatic incident. And guess who had a problem with it, which manifested a threat from Joe Biden. You guys need any more proof that the fucking Democrats wiped their ass with the Constitution? Joe Biden and his abettors to end arms shipments. They threatened Israel and said we're going to end arms shipments

if you keep handing out guns to civilians. What more do you need to know about these scumbags? Can you fucking imagine that? So all's we have to say to that. Oh, goodness. Strong language. Trigger warning.

It might give you a hard-on. The U.S. administration told Israel that it would not supply the country with arms if they are used to arm civilians. You're saying this after a slaughter of innocent people. How? In other words, Israel believes in our Constitution more than these jerk-offs do. What more do you need to?

It's out there, folks. There's no more hiding it. But you keep voting Democrat. Used to arm civilians. And if they are to be distributed at political events. The administration also threatened to halt an order of some 20,000 rifles purchased by the National Security Ministry from American suppliers. I can't even believe what I'm fucking reading here. Israel must be going, are you shitting me?

Where's Trump when you need him? Holy moly. What we've got here is failure to communicate. Give him the guns. Let him slaughter. Terrible. Had a drink of me. The U.S. announcement shocked Israeli defense establishment

in light of a considerable rifle shortage, resolving the crisis involved both political and judicial officials. Now the rifles pictured were not American guns, but when Biden and company found out that any American arms sent could be used for this purpose, naturally, they threw a fucking hissy fit. Can you frigging imagine these jackoffs? What Israel was doing was de facto implementing the Second Amendment and arming the citizens, also known as the militia. And as we know, the Biden regime, with a shadowy Obama somewhere in the mix, that should be brought up more, despises the Second Amendment above all else.

And remember, all the other amendments don't mean shit if you don't have a gun to protect them. A seriously armed population is proving to be a rather formidable Cold War defense against the all-out communism that Obama and Biden and the jerk-offs the squad desire. The text from the Second Amendment is short and sweet. A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. Did you hear that, dinkweeds? Pretty fucking clear.

Yeah. Oh, boy. I can't believe that. They're going, whoa, what are you doing? You're arming the civilians can you friggin imagine we came up with it and we're fucking appalled by it what more do you need to know hey for you those you guys on mug club right now stick around the second half of my show uh everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show. Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more.

He's got a lineup that, you know, it's becoming a force out there. You see the numbers he's doing. So please do that. Will you? We have to win this. And guess what?

We're doing our part with a, with a Tiki. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.