The Nick DiPaolo Show - Harvard Replaces Bigoted Gay | Nick Di Paolo Show #1503

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about CNN's propaganda, Bannon's Nikki thoughts and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Kiss my ass That was unnecessary. Hi folks, how are you? Welcome to the show on a Wednesday. That's right. Short week, huh? Yeah? It is, right? I don't know.

I think we're going to be shooting a Bitchin' Kitchen episode Friday. Yeah? We don't own that old air, but I'll be making, well. Have you had the skin of a small Arab child? Yes. That was Dallas saying yes because he's visited the region and has all the recipes written down, along with a few ears kept in a cigar box under his bed.

What else? Aaron Rodgers, just going back and forth with Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel just, I don't know where he's coming from. They got to him. I've met him. I've been on his show. I liked him. I just don't understand. I guess I do. But the fact that he got caught wearing blackface in a sketch and he still has the balls to point people out for being racist and it's a little bit of a turnoff. And, you know, Aaron Rodgers, this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing's coming out, and Aaron's, they've been going back and forth.

Jimmy Kimmel called him an asshole because he, you know, remember, he said he was vaccinated, but he, you know, he did some holistic shit or whatever. And Kimmel kept calling him, you know, went after him like five times in his monologue. And Rodgers struck back, and ba-ba-ba, and now the Epstein thing's coming out. And Rod just, you know, said something about Kimmel's name being on it. And Kimmel threatens a lawsuit.

Yet Kimmel talks shit about Aaron all the time, and not once did Aaron threaten a lawsuit. No, I know. And shit that could be, you know, yeah. So, um, I just fucking, you know, I'm on Aaron's side on that one. I mean, uh, but I hate that. It's so that fucking, huh? And trust me, I believe Kimmel when he says he's not, I do, I could be wrong, but I believe he's not on the list, whatever the

fuck, but to go after Aaron Rodgers. And by the way, what Kimmel was saying about Aaron Rodgers, and he was joking about how Aaron Rodgers gets his medical advice from Joe Rogan and blah, blah, blah. And Joe Rogan was right, by the way. So, you know, Kimmel was wrong about all that vaccine shit. And, you know what I mean? So come out and, you know, but they don't have to.

They don't have to come out and apologize or admit they're wrong. You know what I mean? So come out and, you know, but they don't have to. They don't have to come out and apologize or admit they're wrong. You know what I mean? It's like arguing with children. And I do that a lot in the back of a van down by the river. Anyways, all right. What else since last night? I don't know. Anything?

The Bruins won four in a row. That's all I got to tell you. After they had won four in a row. That's all I'm going to tell you. After they had lost four in a row before the Christmas break. So they're human, but still have the best winning percentage in the league. Let's get on with it. You people, I can feel your anger coming through the TV screen going, well, you get to the CNN propaganda at its best is what I'd label this. A man was arrested early Tuesday, that was yesterday, after he broke into the Colorado Supreme Court overnight and opened fire inside the building, state police said in a release.

I don't know, was that illegal to do shit like that? Sound like a hairdresser. Sound like a, I mean a hairdryer. A hairdresser, yeah. The preliminary investigation — this is why I'm doing this story. It's not about what he did. It's about how it's reported. Again, you know what? We've got to make a thing called Nick Teaches You the News, or How to Read the News, because

always look for the subtext. If you know the politics of the people that are bringing it to you, it jumps out at you. The preliminary investigation confirmed the high probability that the, again, when's the last time you heard that when an incident like this confirmed a high probability that the incident is not connected to the recent threats against the Colorado Supreme Court justices, but you brought it up anyways. This is how they do it, folks, just to make that little connection. In other words, it's probably a Trump—excuse me.

Anyways, the break-in comes two weeks after the court ruled 4-3 to remove former President Donald Trump from the state's 2024 ballot, finding he was ineligible to hold office under the 14th Amendment's insurrection ban. So there's reference number two to it, even though there's hardly any chance of, um, and the Colorado Supreme Court, you know, everybody's laughing at that decision. It's supposed to come down soon. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. Don't you care, Arthur? The FBI previously said it was working with Colorado law enforcement to investigate reports of violent threats against the Colorado Supreme Court justices following their ruling to remove Trump from the presidential ballot. Again, reference them. Huh? That's all. Reference number

three. They had to clarify in the first paragraph, it's probably unlikely it's related, yet they're still touching on it. This is how they do it, folks. And dummies who vote Democrat fucking fall for it. One half of the country, not even, the libs, which isn't as many as you think,

and the dem... Yeah, the dems are all libs, so fuck off. They're retarded. They fall for this shit. They're useful idiots, and the Dems, yeah, the Dems are all libs, so fuck off. They're retarded. They fall for this shit. They're useful idiots, and the media plays them like a violent. Tuesday's incident began unfolding around 1.15 a.m. and ended nearly two hours later when the intruder surrendered to police. The break-in was preceded by a two-vehicle crash at 13th Avenue and Lincoln Street in Denver near the Ralph L. Carr Colorado Judicial Center,

which houses the state Supreme Court. A person involved in that crash reportedly pointed a handgun at the other driver. That's in quotes. That individual then shot out a window on the east side of the judicial center and entered the building. The individual encountered an unarmed security guard, held the guard at gunpoint, that's a no-no, and took the guard's keys before going to other parts of the building, including the seventh floor, where he fired more shots. The suspect called 911 at 3 a.m. and surrendered to police, the release said.

The release did not specify the nature of the charges on which the suspect is being held. While authorities don't believe the incident was related to previous threats, we're gonna bring it up again and make it and see if we can make a connection. The names of the four state justices who ruled to disqualify Trump from the 2024 ballot have appeared incendiary posts.

I mean, yeah, on extremist online forums. But we don't want to hint to anything. You need to shut the fuck up. You see how they do it, folks? For legal reasons, they, yeah. Also, it's weird. The whole thing doesn't add up even in and of itself. You just go into a building, start shooting a gun,

and you just surrender to the police. I mean, it. That's right. They'll find out. It's probably the equivalent of hanging a fake noose on a door. It'll probably be a hoax. You know what I mean? And you'll get ready for a lot of this shit, folks, up until November.

Get ready to hear all kinds of news about how well the economy is doing and shit like that. They'll lie to your face because, again, you retards who vote Democrat, fucking moron cocksuckers, will fall for it. Or even go along with it, knowing it's false. Either way, you're an evil fuck and you're ruining my country. Get out. I'd make a great vice president, wouldn't I? I don't want to be in the spotlight.

That's how they should talk. I think Dick Cheney did behind closed doors. I'll kill the cocksuckers. That was my line, by the way, about Dick Cheney. Now everybody's saying, sort of doing it about Biden. I said Cheney was the only vice president you could assassinate with an air horn because of his bad dick. Anyways, I'm clever. That was the point of that. Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I'll be taking my shirt off.

Good night, everybody. Good luck and go fuck yourself. Good night, everybody. Good luck and go fuck yourself. In the second half of the show, I'll be talking about Al Qaeda threatening the United States with a nice slick— again, they're so good with PR. I told Dallas I want them to represent me, make a sizzle reel that I can send to Hollywood, maybe get on one of those funny sitcoms.

You know, Who Banged Your Mother? Or fucking Nerds Suck Dick. All those shows I like so much. But it's really good. They fucking — they use the Hollywood formula for making a trailer. I mean, and the quality — and it's creepy. It's creepy. I'll be talking about that. Also, another very famous black millionaire athlete whining about racism, and he's as ignorant as the day is long, like most of them are. Nick, you can't, yeah, most of them are, about 95%. That's the number. I did my own study. Anyways, that's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now. You can do that at nickdip.com.

Nickdip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to Nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to Nickdip.com and click on Store. Again, that's Nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's move on, shall we? Yeah, let's do that. You know, one of my favorite people is Steve Bannon, who I'd like to meet. I think he's one of the smartest, and he's a real patriot, you know? I think he was in the Navy, intelligence and all that shit. And he wrote

scripts, and he tried to get shit published in Hollywood. I mean, he's a fucking real smart guy. And I think he was a huge force behind Trump getting elected and all that other good stuff. Plus, he has a podcast that goes through the goddamn roof. Maybe I'll get on it. And he goes, Steve, want to play chess? I don't know how to play chess. Anyways, Bannon, goddammit, I hope I have cancer — says no to Nikki.

Not a stripper either from Detroit. There he is. Wow, he trimmed his hair and shit. That's actually tame for him. Former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon claimed on Monday — shouldn't the president be the chief strategist? When you think about who, when you look at his title and shit, he claimed on Monday that a big fight that's in quotes would

take place in the spring to determine whether Nikki Haley becomes former president Donald Trump's 2024 running mate. And I think we can come to that conclusion. We see how she keeps coming up in poll and they lie about her. Yeah, so here's Steve Bannon talking about this underlying push to make Nikki Haley, and again we all know she's a globalist. We said that during the debates. All her, go ahead, Steve, you can tell us better. Listen, Nikki Haley's biggest donors right now are some of the most radical anti-Trump Democrats. What did you think?

Reid Hoffman. What did you think when Jamie Dimon came out at the New York Times Summit? She'd be a great president. And said she'd be a great president. And we've all got a backer. One of the fights we're going to have, a big fight, will take place in the spring. They're going to try to force Nikki on the ticket. They'll say Trump needs a woman.

Nikki on the ticket. She balances things. And she can bring together that 15% of never Trumpers in the Republican Party. We're going to have to have that fight. If Nikki Haley is in this administration in any capacity, it will fail. You are correct, sir fail he absolutely is I like that that sums it up because anyways banning went on to say she's a viper I thought that was a compliment shit people call me that all the time. She's a viper, he said.

Not you, you fat whore. Have you seen Steve, Rosie O'Donnell lately? Sort of looks like Steve Bannon. Put on those granny glasses. He went on to say, yeah, she's a viper. She's a viper, and once she gets in there, she'll try to run it as a prime minister. She'll try to be Dick Cheney. Her to Trump will be just like Dick Cheney was to Bush.

That's what she'll try to do. CBS News reported last month that Trump had been asking his advisors for their thoughts about Nikki Haley as a potential vice presidential candidate. Four out of five of them said she's got no tits and a flat ass. So Mr. Trump said, not interested. Flat. I heard she's flat. Flat as a board. Anyways, anyway, yeah, so he was sniffing around.

Anyways, Trump allies expressed heavy opposition to the idea. Donald Jr. said he's not going to let it happen. I think he said that on the X on Twitter. Anyways, I hope not. I know it's not going to happen. I saw a clip, I should have pulled it over the weekend before we came back on Tuesday of — and we put this guy on before. We've showed clips of him. He's a black deputy — is he a mayor, a deputy mayor? His last

name's Robinson. Staunch right-winger, big Trump fan. Gave the speech — I've got to fucking find it. I watched it a couple times. It was that inspiring. And honest to God, a lot of people in the comments said Trump should put this guy. I would. I swear to God he'd throw this guy on the ticket. He's ten times the speaker Obama was. Comes right from the heart. You know, grew up poor.

Fucking loves this country more than you and I combined. It would be tremendous. Put a nice fat black guy on it. I mean a black guy who loves the country. I mean a Chinese kid. A retarded Puerto Rican with one leg. An Indian. Anyways, diversity. It's our strength. Suck my left nut. Cocaina. So yes, John Alda, you know, she's not getting anywhere near there. And those numbers in the polls,

they lie to you folks. They fucking lie. New Hampshire maybe likes her, you know? Fucking New England. I have to go up there and straighten them out. Between the Red Sox

coming in last all the time. Fucking dog shit left-wing party. You don't think they're related? Get that fucking Chinese mayor out of there, too.

Fucking whitey hater. Make me a fucking German shepherd and broccoli. What? I don't know anymore. I can't take it. What did I watch last night? Anything? Yes, my career going

the dumper. Anyways, let's watch on Larry Curb, Your Enthusiasm, again. God damn, is that fucking guy funny. Just a curmudgeon. Me and him are soulmates. I don't know, fucking, I had a chance, this was after like season eight, one of the last seasons, I was living in Westchester, 30 miles north of the city, and they wanted me to go into the city at like be there at 8 a.m. for a fucking audition. You know, and that's those auditions. You just kind of wing it, which is my specialty. I couldn't do it. So I'm not getting up fucking 30 years into this. Fuck that. Where were they 10 years ago?

That's why I'm here talking to you folks. And why audition? Just ask me to come on and I'll come on. You know, it's funny. You sound like, you sound sort of like, I know people say that like, and I go, guys, I'm really, they go, why isn't Bill Maher had you on? You know? And I'm like, well, that one's obvious. First of all, but I would say I'm a little humble. I go, I'm not that big a name. He has Ben Affleck.

He has huge people on. But, you know, I was a well-known comic. Still am, believe it or not. Getting no credit for this fucking right-wing push that everybody's jumping on. You're welcome, Joe Rogan. Whoever the fuck else huh bill maher exactly but i always never held that i i go i just don't think i'm a big enough now whatever the fuck but people said you're crazy um well how did we get into this discussion maybe that's why i'm not on

there i have no fucking memory. Who are we talking about? We were talking about the audition in... Larry David, yeah. But my point is, you know, if you're... No, you make the... You're right. You've been in the thing long enough. There's no need to audition you.

Just bring you on, let you do your thing. You would have made a good fucking manager. And the last time I drove into the city from Westchester, it was to do a podcast on barstool sports, and it was pouring out, and I'm circling. Folks, again, I live 35, 40 minutes north, sitting in that traffic to get into the city, looking for a parking space for a half hour.

Parked in a garage. They don't even tell you. I just run upstairs to do the podcast. It's fucking pouring. I wouldn't admit that I was lucky being born white, so they shut me down. I could tell the whole mood changed. This is supposedly Barstool Sports, politically incorrect, you know, jocks and shit. These two young guys, 20 years younger than me, didn't like that. You know what I mean? No. Then I made a crack about hitting my Mexican wife, which is — I think that might have did it. I'm not kidding. And that didn't even air. They didn't even put it on. I go to the parking garage, $60 for an hour, some shit like that. Anyways, before I move on, let me tell

you folks that for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com. Join to get my full show because you have no idea what happens when we go away. All kinds of... We had a fucking gang rape in here. Involved a cat and a couple

kids we don't know. Everyone else go to Nick dip calm join to get my full show crowd is full show which is extraordinarily good and of course a whole lot more on the mug Club Network and while you're there Nick dip calm I have one day you see right up here on the screen my manager doesn't answer my email so I asked him I found a theater that apparently he couldn't find himself I can say this shit cuz he doesn't watch the fucking show. Hey Tommy answer my fucking emails Tom are you listening? I sent you a couple. I know it was over Christmas break and shit Let me ask you a question Tom when you see my email come up do you fucking, what's your process? Do you delete it or just scroll over it? What the fuck are you doing

that you're so busy? I know it involves a fry later and making fucking vodka tonics. You're wearing a chef's hat. What are you doing that's so busy that you can't answer a yes-no question? This is why I get upset, because I bring shit up, and it dies on the vine. You know, yeah, I haven't heard from the, I'll get back to you, buh-buh. And then I forget it, because he forgets mine. But no more of that. It's my resolution, Tom. What the fuck was that? Yeah, but who, was that a sound effect with your mouth?

Didn't sound it sounded like I did it like that's what I heard. Oh my god. So please Tom show me some fucking respect. Okay what's gonna happen he's gonna call me right and say And say, hey, Jesse Waters wants you. I'm not answering the call. Because I'm that mental. I'll turn down a TV. I will. I'll turn down a TV spot in a second that could help me, just to prove a point. And again, maybe my downfall, maybe not. Answer the goddamn emails. guitar solo Outro Music