The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hello My Haitian Friends | Nick Di Paolo Show #1622

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Kamala's border, Haitian Hell and much more! Support the show and use promo code NICKDIP on MyBookie to claim a bonus to double your money on your 1st deposit. Get started at https://mybookie.website/NICKDIP Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 9/27/24 - Wise Guys - Jordan Landing, UT 9/28/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 9/29/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour    For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

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Merchants Bank is a proud member FDIC. It's freedom baby, yeah! Hey folks, how you is? Nothing's working my chest. Excuse me? Yeah, life they say is short. Right now I feel it's very long. Fucking exhausted with it all, I'll be fucking honest with you. We came in here today ready to go and of course fucking Google's updating some horse shit. So we're doing it the old-fashioned way.

I'm using the fucking thing that we threw out to get better shit. But as technology, it's about as reliable as, well, a pimp. What am I saying? They're very reliable. They're very reliable. Yes, they show up. They show up every afternoon at 3 o'clock on time. We're rich.

We're my money bitch. Anyways, real quick, since last night, what, anything? Jets, I feel bad for Aaron Rodgers. I don't know if he realized what he signed up for now honestly I think they'll get better they get a decent decent defense and shit but the 49ers let me just say this I'm putting them in the Super Bowl again not just based on last night I just see they look like a well oiled machine already how about, it can't be it'll be the Lions and the in 49 is in the NFC championship game to play whoever maybe Casey I don't know

Who gives a fuck right Nick? I agree. But listen, you could be living in Springfield, Ohio Where they dropped 20,000 Haitians on you and yes a couple of them have grabbed ducks I guess in the public park I'm not making this shit up and cooked them and the lady was eating it of course all the people look some of that's true but but you go on today you know you're seeing footage it looks like it's from 1968 so you know there's plenty of shit but my point is in the like, that's a bunch of shit, typical, but, but, but, but, but it's like, no, even if one case is true, which it is, because the cops reported, even

if it's one case, isn't that sort of a, a foreshadowing of what's to come? You can't drop somebody of a whole completely 20,000 of a different culture in the middle. Do you understand, folks? It's bigger than Trump versus Kamala? Do you understand? It's 10 people running the planet. They decided they wanted this place to join the rest of the shitholes and that's what's going down in front of your eyes and I don't think Trump's gonna be able to stop it or anybody else. Only us have to get off our couch and start fucking you know doing the work and luckily I'm on the cover of AARP this week so fucking I got nothing

to do but I'm serious it's bigger than us it's whoever the fucking none of it's the Bill Gates is the word whoever Soros and company it's them that we have to eliminate what well and I have a fatwa on my head now can Jews put those out all right thought it had something else I got a rush through this fucking show cuz I'm jumping on a plane so you guys can watch me tonight those of you who subscribe to mug club as me and Crotter will be doing live commentary during the debate I'm gonna be honest I'd rather sit there quietly and watch it myself because I think it's gonna be a train wreck for Kamala

regardless of what the press is telling you I this the whole thing is a farce the numbers ooh she's up by one in North Carolina no she isn't no she fucking isn't it's a landslide this is all a game the media is involved every news outlet right left involved it's all a game for us folks that's where I'm at starting to sound like fucking Alex Jones the fuck half of a cigarette he says to any look he's a right he's right on a lot of shit. There's a story out right now he's saying that Kamala Harris is gonna be on Ecstasy not Ecstasy Molly might be the same thing I don't know I'm old but tonight that's the

word she's gonna be on Molly. I thought it was like a girlfriend of hers I was hoping. Anyhow, any-hee. Alright, let's fucking get to it again. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich! That's fine. And now shut up and make me a sandwich segment. And bear with me when I use the teleprompter, because I have to click twice now that my

finger clicks four times and Anyways vice president Kamala Harris vows on her long-awaited new campaign website to establish it in earned Pathway to citizenship for migrants who cross the border illegally that would make them illegal aliens not migrants Okay, let's start there, but you know she's proud of that She really is a fucking bad. She knows that our immigration system is broken and needs comprehensive reform that includes strong border security and an earned pathway to citizenship is what she says.

You need to shut the fuck up. It says it on her website, which is online. It went online Sunday, a month and a half into her campaign, and has already been criticized as too vague. Former President Trump, who Harris is going up against for the White House, has claimed he will enact a large deportation initiative to expel illegal immigrants from the United States. Just in my personal opinion, that's the only chance we have.

It's the only chance we have. Oh boy, it's going to get exciting. Harris website policies on the border which voters rank as high priority issue don't add anything beyond harking back to a related bipartisan Senate bill if you guys remember that and and if she's more than that she's just a yeast infection on wheels as president she will bring back the bipartisan border security bill and sign it into law. Her website states without offering any other proposals on the crisis. So she's just going back on something that she didn't even think up and that if you guys remember that it

guarantees like at least 5,000 illegals pouring into the country every day. That's the best part of the bill and they would go how come Republicans don't want to sign it? So she wants to go back to that, because she has no fucking new ideas. And who do you think the people in Springfield, Ohio are going to vote for? As they look out the window and they see Fluffy being beheaded by a guy in a grass skirt

and a bone through his nose. All right, maybe I'm exaggerating. Look, Haitians, here's the thing about Haitian. I know the ones that came to Miami. I mean, most, again, you can't generalize about everybody, but those Haitians fucking work like free jobs and be good people. But like Trump said, they're not really sending the best and the brightest. Oh, Nick, that's racist. Suck my white European ass.

Good night, everybody. Enjoy the show biz. Trump's GOP VP pick, Senator JD Vance of Ohio blasted Harris on our amnesty proposal, arguing more migrants will be incentivized to come to the US. How can you argue against that? I'd like to grab a little fucking college puke by his throat because I just saw a bunch of them being interviewed going, Kam all the way and they're infected. We've lost a couple generations. How can you argue with that? If you're living in a shithole like Haiti and didn't, weren't the Clintons supposed to clean up Haiti? Remember how they said everything was going smoothly? What happened

there? How can you argue with that? If you're living in a dump like that or any other dump and you see, ooh, United States is handing out fucking free dental care health care school college and shitting on their own people you're not gonna come the most destructive part of the Kamala Harris border plan is where she says that she wants to give her eight point five plus million illegal aliens and earn pathway to citizenship I like the fact that the word earned is in there how ironic what the how do you fucking when you give somebody something did they really earn it like when you were blowing Willie Brown did he earn it yeah he did looking at that fucking

scratching neck. Which means rewarding illegal aliens with amnesty and the right to vote in our next elections. Vance wrote on X. And that's no hyperbole, folks. You people on the left want to go, oh, they're exaggerative about, you're fucking full of shit. Read your history. I can't wait for the debate tonight I'm gonna have to wear two pair

of pants because you're gonna see me had when Trump fucking beat the piss out of her like an NFL running back and his girlfriend on a Saturday night promising amnesty and citizenship will create a gigantic magnet for illegal immigration that will entice people around the world to race across our borders. How do you, you can't really argue with that. You're going to be hearing that in libraries? No, they don't go, what am I saying? They don't read books.

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You heard that right. Doubles your money with code NickD dip before you even place a bet. Don't ever miss out on the action bet anything anywhere anytime only with my bookie and what a time of the year it is to use that product. Let me tell you let me take a sip of this coffee and I don't know what's going on at night. Somebody's got to, I must have sleep apnea. I wake up and I'm not shitting more exhausted than when I go to bed. And when I do sleep, I have to piss at five.

That goes with the territory. I'll be 111 on Thursday. I understand that. But I wake up more exhausted. I have to be choking. And I remember I used that app. I was recording myself. All I heard was a couple of farts. I listened back to it. It sounded like Louis Armstrong doing a solo. I got a jazz musician, remember? Let's move on to Haitian hell in Ohio. This is the story right now. The government's delivery of roughly 20,000 migrants to Springfield, Ohio, which was a ton of about 60,000, I think, is what I read. You think that would have an effect? How is this? I don't know.

It has been a boom for real estate, local employees, and auto salesmen. I don't even believe that line in the story. Merchants and the migrants, but also an unwanted shock to locals as they try to manage their own community. Manage your own community? How about go about their day-to-day lives. Stop with the PC bullshit language. This is not fair to the Haitians. It's not fair to

the people of Springfield, Ohio. And like I said, you're reading stories. We showed you. Did we show the clip of the lady eating a cat in the driveway? it's an actual clip and the cops like what are you doing there it was supposedly the neighbor's cat hey I don't know if that's real or not I gotta believe you could check that one either way even if that didn't happen but it supposedly they're grabbing ducks out of public parks and just bringing them home and eating them believe whatever you want to fucking believe it doesn't matter this fucking wrong. This is so unfair to the citizens of that time, of this country. Period. Let's take a culture stuck in 1856 and drop it into a high tech

country. You filthy fucks. The damage was displayed at the August 27th City Commission meeting where voters presented their concerns about the migrants and a guy stood up and said I really challenge you guys to get out here and do something Anthony Harris uh who described themselves at himself as a local youtube influencer told the council these are Haitians are running into trash cans is this that what he's gonna say in the speak no they run into trash cans with their cars they're running into buildings they're flipping cars in the middle of the streets okay you're not making the shit

up mr. officials I hate the traffic concerns that you all see. Mayor Rob Rue. Rue. You Rue the day you voted this guy. Look at this spineless white fucking horn rim glasses, ball-less sack of shit. That's why this country looks like the third world shithole. Fucking people like that.

Look at this douchebag. Just don't even need to know him his glass rims tell me what a nitwit he is imagine him trying to defend his wife from a couple Haitians with machetes standing there with a spatula with chocolate on it. Mayor Rob Rue. And not the good kind of Rue you put in a fucking gumbo. Anyways, that's what Mayor Rob Rue said. I understand the concerns, blah, blah, blah. Across the community, the aisle, all levels of politics, all races, we are concerned about the traffic.

I personally am concerned about the traffic. I have almost been hit myself. I have kids that are learning how to drive well and it's a concern. I have the same fairs that you do as grandpas and aunts and uncles have. I say this with passion. You couldn't, you milky white toast. City officials are working with the state traffic officials. Listen to this, the mayor said. We're asking for a program that will focus on reckless operators speeding, red light violations, dangerous drive, a program? Doesn't that already exist?

Hasn't, are you just- Yeah, those are called American laws. You need a pogrom. Oh, that was funny. Not a program, a pogrom oh that was funny not a program a pogrom you get it if you people don't know what that is Google it's not good a program that's your solution yours your your citizens of your town are going there's 20,000 people that fucking don't speak, they don't look like us, they're running over, and your idea, instead of saying,

I'm gonna go to the federal government, we're gonna either get these people on buses out of here, no, we're gonna set up a program. That's all you need to know. He's as fucking milk toasting as weak as he looks. And we're gonna initiate a a 30-day blitz. That ought to do it. And this will be highly publicized.

Boys, he don't miss it. To bring attention to the enforcement of our driving laws on our roads. Yeah, because that's the big problem. Not somebody sitting down with a Siamese cat and going, should I filet this? Boil it? Broil it you

fucking people here is the dumbest woman in the United States you'll see her tonight telling you what she has done this is a clip of douchebag I mean Kamala from a couple years ago bragging what she's done for Haitians and again she's got a bigger neck than I do I don't understand this thing let's take a listen to a retard I can't wait for tonight when let me make a prediction about tonight she's gonna you're gonna keep hearing this you're a felon but he's a thing but he's a felon but he's sexual sexually assaulted woman you're gonna hear that shit because she doesn't have the grasp of anything you know any nuanced positions she's gonna keep throwing out what an asshole Trump is that's all you're gonna hear that shit because she does not the grasp of anything you know any nuance positions she's gonna keep throwing out what an asshole trumpets that's all you're gonna hear

a big part of it i should say uh... but here she is a couple years ago defending her asian policy that is why also starting with our administration we gave tps temporary protected status to haitian migrants, 55,000. And then more recently we extended temporary protected status to over 100,000 Haitian migrants for that very reason, that they need support, they need protection.

No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. And you people are, really? And you people who are going to vote for her her you can watch those clips of those poor people in Springfield Ohio and go Well, they're racist if they don't it just like anything else if it came to your town You just like the people of Martha's Vineyard on Nantucket, which have a fucking eye where you guys are so sanctuary Lovers until they come to your backyard

You're all hypocrites the vast majority of Springfield's 20,000 migrants, illegal aliens, illegal aliens from Haiti. Maybe there's a few legal ones. Look at the kids though. That's what I'm saying. Is it fear to them? Most of the migrants, illegal aliens, cross the U.S. border illegally, illegal aliens, often by pushing through the Panama jungle and now have been given temporary legal status by Biden's pro-illegal alien deputies. The new population has upended the city. You think? In August 2023, a local child was killed when a Haitian driver without a license hit a school bus, forced it off the road. That's just one of a million examples.

And again, I say, you can put all that shit aside about eating cats and ducks and whether what you're seeing is real. Some of it has definitely real, but I know there's a bunch of shit out there. But you know what? The left has been doing that forever. I just read some jerk off with a bunch of followers on twitter. Uh Uh, he he tweet he's tweeting to elon musk on oh, uh x has turned into a right wing bucking, um

Whatever lunacy bin with no but but but I I didn't you weren't speaking up on was a left wing one Where were you then because I went over all your tweets, you dickhead. They're like, people are like children. Ugh, they don't like it when the right tries those tactics. God forbid that the right pushes back. Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club right now, stick around for the rest of my terrific show. The rest of you go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club where you'll get my full show,

Steven Crowder's full show, which I'll be on tonight streaming the debate live with him doing shots every time Kamala says something stupid. So I probably won't make it home. I'm guessing I'll be in detox for the next four days. She's such a dumb twat. Walkok, wok, wok. Also, click on the tour button on my website at nickdip.com. As you see, and it's fast approaching, September's just ripping by Dallas. We'll be there soon. September 27th, wise guys, Jordan landing Utah. Come out if you like the truth. If you don't, stay the fuck home.

Put on your purple underwear. September 28th and 29th, the two nights after that. Skankfest, Las Vegas, I heard that's a lot of fun. And can't wait to do it. Also later on the show I'll be telling about another fascist law being passed in California. It involves memes and just by far the dumbest state in state in the Union by far and did you see I'll just throw this in Trump's doing a I think it's tonight he's doing a fundraiser in California and you know who's helping sponsor it who's gonna be there some of Newsom's relatives you can look that one up, not making it up. What's that tell you? What's it tell you?

What's it tell you that Tim Walz's family fucking hates him, his brother? That guy's creepy. That guy has a collection of baby shoes with blood on them in his attic. He is a big girl, number one. No heterosexual guy waves like this. Jumps up and down. Big girl. Big girl. And as we know, big girls hate America because for some reason they think the cards stacked against them and that reason is the media tells you that every day. Along with other protected groups. Black people people retards cripples anybody but a white heterosexual male we're all guilty hi good night everybody Let's go! Wow! Thanks for watching!