The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hillary Harangues Clarence Thomas | Nick Di Paolo Show #1232

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

Hillary racist. Joy Behar retarded. Brandom Tatum the man. Maxwell to the big house. Muppett indoctrination. TikTok trans sends pics to wrong email....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, this show is where free speech lives, as you know. No one gets to tell me what I can and can't say, either here or at home. That's the wife. And I'm not beholden to sponsors or bosses. I just come out here and call them the way I see them each day, and I speak the truth for me and for a lot of you guys. I'm only able to do this because of your contributions. So please take a moment now and go to nickdip.com. Click on the banner on top to contribute. How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show on a Wednesday. Don't forget, tomorrow, before I forget, Joe List on the show, a guy that I'm very proud of. I picked him out of the talent pile in Boston years ago,
Starting point is 00:01:22 and him and Louis C.K. wrote a movie that I'm in. He chose the lead. I can't believe how far this guy has come. He was a drunken, basically a drunken open act when I met him. And he got his shit together and I'm so proud of this guy. And so he will be on the show tomorrow and I will be off
Starting point is 00:01:40 tomorrow to after the show to you know where. It's the thing. Whatever. The premiere in New York City at the Beacon Theater. That's going to be a blast. Haven't seen all these guys since we shot the movie. All right. So I forgot to give you, Dallas, a lot of footage I have, but me and Andy, well, I wouldn't give it all of you, but we went to the Savannah Bananas last week, and I got to tell you, that guy is a marketing genius. First of all, it was a good baseball game. I still can't figure out the Savannah Bananas.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I don't get it. Folks, I'll show you. Next week I'll bring in the stuff. But the team during the game, like, they scored a run, the Savannah Bananas. Like, 10 of the players come up in the stands, run by us, and high-five us. This is a legitimate baseball team playing some quality college kids that might go to the pros, whatever, the East Coast League, whatever it is, the Coast League.
Starting point is 00:02:38 And the guy that owns the team is running around in a banana yellow tuxedo with a top hat, getting the crowd to go playing all these games, music, you know, like the first couple notes of an ACDC song, all these great songs, Springs, whatever, the whole game. The place is sick. It's fucking crazy. These kids, they have the banana nannies. These women come out in their 70s and start dancing. The first base coach is this kid Tyrone. I don't think he's on the team but he's out there like the first base all of a sudden between innings he starts break dancing doing back flips even the other team gets involved a little bit but it's a legitimate ball i don't know how they pull it off 18 ticket the food and stuff is free once you get in.
Starting point is 00:03:27 The guy is, I wanted to stop him. He kept running by and said, dude, you are unbelievable. Anyways. That dude's level of energy is insane. Yeah, yeah. We were at the game. He came and found us out since we were dressed up. But he's all over the place.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Yeah, he's definitely, I'd check his blood. Pee after the show, after the game. Anyways, let's get to it. Our top story today. Ding-a-ding, ding-a-ding, ding-a-ding, the news. Ding-a-ding, ding-a-ding, it's news music. Hillary the racist. Oh, my God, the creature that won't die. I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Well, the devil never dies either, right? You could drive a steak through her throat. By steak, I mean a prime rib. That's what she likes. That piggy. Anyways, she surfaced, and she's yapping about Clarence Thomas, who, by the way, grew up not far from here in poverty, and now he's a Supreme Court
Starting point is 00:04:25 justice. You'd think a liberal from Chicago who loves black, pretends to love black, would be so proud of this guy. He is the American dream, smarter than she'll ever be. She's out there bad-mouthing him after the rulings. Just soulless, soulless. But you keep pretending. Remember, she goes to the black church.
Starting point is 00:04:44 She puts on the southern accent. She's trying to do Psalms from the Bible that she, you know, uses as a doorstop. And she's taking a dump in a motel. Whatever. Anyways, listen to her and how she talks about. And, of course, she's on a network. They feed her softballs. Listen how she talks about Clarence Thomas.
Starting point is 00:05:06 I went to law school with him. I went to law school with him. He's been a person of grievance for as long as I've known him. Pause, pause, pause. A person of grievance. Hmm. How many excuses did she bang out after she lost to Trump? It was racism.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It was white backlash. It was sexism. Of course it was sexism because Trump's a guy. You know, you name it. She had the Russians through the election in his favor. The list goes on and on. She never stopped with her excuses. Oh, the messes was bad. The people didn't come out. You know, this country isn't ready for a woman president. Everything you can imagine. And she's calling Clarence Thomas, who's achieved more in, you know, 10 years of his life than she has. What did she do? She hooked up with Bill Clinton at Yale and rode the pony.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Shut it, sugar lips. What? Anyways, let's listen to the monster. I mean, Hillary. Grievance. Anger. I'm hungry. Is that it? Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? She did. But it's funny. So that's her angle on Clarence Thomas. Then you have Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor, female, Hispanic, I guess. And listen to her take. And by the way, she works with Clarence Thomas for the last few years, right, every day. And listen to her. Who would know better, by the way? And this, again, this is a liberal Supreme Court justice talking about Clarence Thomas. Justice Thomas is the one justice in the building that literally knows every employee's name.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Every one of them. And not only does he know their names. He remembers their family's names. He's the first one who will go up to someone when you're walking with him and say, What's in your purse? Is your son okay? How's your daughter doing in college? Sounds like a horrible guy. He's the first one that when my stepfather died, sent me flowers in Florida.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Did they say good riddance? He is a man who cares deeply about the court as an institution, about the people who work there, but about people. Boy, a different take from a woman who works with a guy, who disagrees with him a thousand percent in politics. Do you see the difference? See, she's not hungry for power because she's in the Supreme Court. She's there for life. But Hillary still has that wet dream about being president.
Starting point is 00:08:01 But the good thing about Hillary, she keeps herself in shape by walking the beach every day. Oh, poor Bill. Can you blame this guy? You wouldn't be at the local IHOP trying to finger pop the hostess too. Look at that bag of bologna. My God.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Again, I'm going to give Hillary a little credit. She's a gangster. Maybe not the first female president, but she's the first, you know what, Don, Mafia Don, that I can remember. I don't know. But just bad mouth and Clarence, I just, honestly, God, even if you disagree with everything he says, really? Bad mouth and Clarence, I just, honestly, God, even if you disagree with everything he says, really? Grievances. He was a very angry black man. Can you imagine if Trump said that about Sotomayor? Angry Hispanic woman. They get that Hispanic blood. They get nuts. But nobody bats an eyelash because it's Hillary. I can't wait.
Starting point is 00:09:02 The media has to be taken out in this country. I don't know how. I don't care if it's an A-bomb on CNN and MSNBC at 3 in the morning. Somebody do something. I'm kidding. I don't provoke violence. I don't condone it. Oh, just on the Fourth of July at my family's house playing volleyball. Anyways, yeah, I've had enough of her.
Starting point is 00:09:23 There's so many yappers on the left first of all the left the women don't even like Hillary she's yesterday's news but she's still hanging in there you know why they have no bench she could jump in I would love I kind of hope she does and loses again oh my god the feminists would all hang themselves
Starting point is 00:09:40 by their big giant cocks anyways let's move on to another beautiful woman from the left. Joy Behar proves she's mentally retarded. The Supreme Court said Monday that a high school football coach who knelt and prayed on the field after games, which was the key, was protected by the Constitution. Who would have guessed? You had to go to the Supreme Court,
Starting point is 00:10:05 you could have come to me, I'd have cut my lawn, I would have told you that. A decision that opponents said would open the door, listen to this, to much more coercive prayer in public schools, that doesn't even stand on its face, that just a horrible, weak argument. It's coercive. What do they got, magic powers?
Starting point is 00:10:24 Our father, who all of a sudden some young black kids are going, ah. But imagine if they want, if Muslims wanted to pray. Nah, we don't let them in the league. I don't want a quarterback coming up to the line and going, Omaha, Al-Aqba! Omaha! Al-Aqba! Whatever. I'm kidding. I'm sure the Muslims would be great quarterbacks. We know they can scramble. They're good on the monkey bars. I don't know what their 40 time is. I don't know what
Starting point is 00:10:57 their leaping ability is. Anyways, it would be coercive prayer in public school. The court ruled 6-3 for the coach with the conservative justices in the majority and the liberals in dissent. Surprise, surprise. The case was the latest in a line of rulings for religious
Starting point is 00:11:14 plaintiffs. Yeah? Good. I'll say it again. I'll say it. I've said it before. I'm not a religious person. Okay? But I'm all for it. I'm agnostic as far as whether God, you know what I mean? Look at the shirt of it. I'm supposed to believe there's a higher power.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I'm just saying, it's good that people believe in something bigger than themselves, and they might even fear it. That keeps people in line. I watch a lot of the ID network, or Evil Lives Here. Let me tell you something. Those people don't even know God exists, and they act horribly. I think it's a good... The left goes nuts when you say that, you know. Oh, the Christians, that was just a power play to keep people in line. Whatever. Keep them in line. The case forced the justices to wrestle with how to balance the religious and free speech rights of teachers and coaches with the rights of students. This is like a straw man argument, not to feel pressured into participating in religious practices.
Starting point is 00:12:21 It's not even close. There's no fine line there. Praying after the game. You know what's beautiful about it when you see this? There's usually players on the other team kneeling down. You see it in the NFL game, kneeling down next to their opponents. It's an option. Yeah, it's an option. Exactly. How is that coercing? You guys are just weak with your devil arguments. The liberal justices in the minority said there was evidence that Bremerton, that's the Washington High coach, Washington High School
Starting point is 00:12:53 coach, Joseph Kennedy, Bremerton is the school, prayers at the 50-yard line had a coercive effect, there's the word again, on students and allowed him to incorporate his personal religious beliefs into a school event. What? Uh-oh, retard alert. What are you talking about? Retard alert. The game is over, by the way.
Starting point is 00:13:13 This is what they said. The game is over, so he can do whatever he wants at that point. Even that, shouldn't even have to say that. I don't see any coercion anywhere. Mama mia. Shouldn't even have to say that. I don't see any coercion anywhere. Dissenting Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote that the decision, oh now I have to hate her again, sets us further down a, see this is all, this is all hyperbole, folks. Sets us further down a perilous path enforcing states to entangle themselves with religion because it's a school whatever right meanwhile you walk into it you walk into a courthouse in this country what do you
Starting point is 00:13:54 see there's pictures of religious pictures right Bibles when you swore in when you become president you put your hand on a Bible. We even let people put their hands on a Koran. That's coercive, in my opinion. Anyways, isn't it, Ms. Mayor? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Exactly. But the justices and the majority emphasized that the coach's prayers came after the games were over and at a time when he wasn't responsible for students and was free to do other things.
Starting point is 00:14:30 He could have done anything. He could have, yeah, broke out a George Foreman grill, passed a joint around. Justice Neil Gorsuch, writing for the majority, oh, not a white paternal, in the ruling declared, the Constitution and the best of our traditions, counsel, mutual respect, and tolerance. That's what the left sings about, but they don't practice it. Not censorship and suppression, that's what they practice, for religious and non-religious views alike. Stop with that common sense.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Gorsuch noted that the coach prayed during a period when school employees were free to speak with a friend, call for a reservation at a restaurant, check an email, attend to other personal matters, make a TikTok video, do cartwheels with no panties, and while the students were otherwise occupied. You are correct, sir. Again, so common sense. They're so afraid. Look, they want to push religion out of the public square. They've done a good job so far. But sorry, conservative Supreme Court right now. So the topper of this story, the very beautiful, the luscious, the mentally ill co-host
Starting point is 00:15:46 of The View, Joy Behar, who I used to know, by the way. She was always friendly to me and when I first came to New York for a female comic, she's pretty, you know. Now if I see her, I might dry gulch her. Paul Pelosi. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Give her a nice elbow like I'm trying to rebound. Joy Beha showing just how blinded she is by her partisan politics. Listen to her take on this ruling about the coach kneeling on the field, and somehow she works this argument into it. I would like to know if
Starting point is 00:16:19 it would apply to Colin Kaepernick, for example. He takes a knee. I don't know if this is really legal or anything I'm saying, but it seems to me like the guy takes a knee and he gets thrown off the team. But he could be praying, too. Praying. Pause. He could be praying that white people die
Starting point is 00:16:35 and cops die. You're right, Joey. You might have a point there. Also, he wasn't to kick off the team. Exactly. She doesn't. Go ahead. People would leave him alone. I don't know why he's praying. But he could be praying.
Starting point is 00:16:49 How do they know what you're doing when you take a knee? Doesn't that look like prayer? How do you know what the coach is doing when he's taking a knee? Are you that stupid? You don't know what he was doing? He was protesting America. How black people are... He was treated by cops and all this other horseshit that's been disproven.
Starting point is 00:17:09 How black men are hunted down by white cops. All baloney. That's what he was doing, Joy. Anything else she has to say? Suddenly it's illegal for him, but it's okay for this. He's a stupid. He's a stupid. It's a stupid, it's a stupid, stupid. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.
Starting point is 00:17:37 What's new, Joe? May God have mercy on your soul. Yeah, God have mercy. The one that the coach is praying to. Have mercy on you. How do you compare a guy protesting? A 12-year-old girl could have told you why. You just, well, just look at the Afro and the Muslim beard.
Starting point is 00:17:55 He wasn't praying. He was praying that the white establishment would die in a giant fire. That's what he was praying. Joy, what happened, man? What happened? You're very stupid now. Goodness gracious, Heloise. Hey, guys, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:13 my original channel on YouTube has clearly been limited. So I've created a new one just for clips of this show so we can use their platform against them to help spread the word. We're going to spread it like monkeypox and grow the show.
Starting point is 00:18:30 The channel is Nick DiPaolo Clips Channel. Who came up with that? Stunning. No, that's good. I don't know. D-I. I see a space between the I and the P, which is how you're supposed to spell. I don't know if that affects when you go on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Try it both ways, with the space, without the space. And I'd like you to find it. Click subscribe and share it. I'll be posting one clip a day on there, sometimes of the show, sometimes of my stand-up. So please do that. It's very important. Already, can I be honest with you,
Starting point is 00:19:01 we got Tommy focused again. He took off the chef's hat and cleaned the shake machine, and we got him focused, and the brilliance of my wife who finds new things every day to share this. Please do that, all right? I beg of you, I'll take an E. Anyways, here's why I feel good about where we're headed. I think the Biden administration was, well, Trump was a blessing in disguise that came along and exposed these people.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Now Biden is just a cherry on the cake or on the ice cream. Where do you put a cherry? That's right. Anyhow, these are signs like this get me excited. We talked about this guy before, Brandon Tatum. He's a cop. I think originally, I want to say Oakland, whatever. I think, am I making this up? He's related to Jack Tatum, or am I just thinking that?
Starting point is 00:19:54 Because he was an all-American high school football player out of Fort Worth, Texas, I think. Somewhere in Texas. And got drafted by Arizona Cardinals. So he's a tough guy. I guarantee it can't be. It's got to be a relation. Anyways, he, on draft night, he didn't get picked, and he was very angry about that.
Starting point is 00:20:16 He didn't get picked. So he became a Tucson cop, and it changed his life. So he sent this email that a lot of us got. It said, this makes me serious. This gives me hope. We've showed this guy before. I am a black man. This is Brandon Tatum talking.
Starting point is 00:20:32 And you're going to mess with him? And I'm telling you, you know how good you have to be to be an All-American running back in high school out of the whole country? I am a black man, and I'm telling you exactly which organization is the most hateful, divisive group in the United States of America. He says Black Lives Matter. I disagree. I say it's the House of Representatives. No, no, he's right. Black Lives Matter coming from not exactly as sweet. Now, I know what you're thinking. What about the KKK? This is such a great point. know what you're thinking. What about the KKK? This is such a great point. Or what about the neo-Nazis? I ask, what about them is influential? Which we've been saying forever. I said, yeah, there's 11 KKK members left. They're running a Sunoco station somewhere in my home state,
Starting point is 00:21:17 whatever. This is 2022. Does the KKK have institutional power like BLM does? Is the KKK receiving millions of dollars from corporations like Nike, et cetera, MLB, and Hollywood celebrities? The answer to all that, right? No. BLM is. That's right. That's a great way to put it. Yes, sir. BLM claims to speak, this is him continuing, for black communities, but all I ever hear from BLM is how much they hate America. They only focus on victimhood to divide us as the greatest nation on earth. Okay? Again, this isn't Donny Osmond. He's a very strong black fellow.
Starting point is 00:22:03 BLM cries out for action, but the only action they do is burn down black neighborhoods and cozy up to corporations. Amen. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. Except for his. There's something wrong with his mind. I saw the hypocrisy long ago, he said. You fucking hypocrite. That's why I started the Blexit, I love the name, foundation with Candace Owens.
Starting point is 00:22:23 You all know Candace. She's a force to be reckoned with. I'd throw her on the ticket this year. Went to Dartmouth, smart as a... Blexit is a nonprofit bringing traditional American principles and a message of empowerment, not a fake one, to urban minority communities. Our message to America's black and minority communities
Starting point is 00:22:43 is that you are not, I repeat, not a victim. We promote economic independence. Don't wait for the government to send you a check. And individual freedom, strengthening the nuclear family and fostering a deeper appreciation for patriotism and black American culture. He was the best guy around. This guy, do you hear this, folks? This isn't coming from a white politician. Okay, this is sincerity, and he's putting his money, he's walking the walk, we should say. This led me to join the Tucson police force. This is after he didn't get drafted. He was telling his life story, and it changed my life forever. I learned what it meant to put my life on the line to save others. I woke up every morning
Starting point is 00:23:25 to thank Jesus that I got to live another day to serve. This experience taught me a lot, but it was foundational to learning about the lies of BLM. And again, I'm watching the Red Sox, BLM. Right in Fenway Park, there's still a banner up. It's on whatever. Go on popular companies' websites. They are a Marxist organization. It's right in their mission statement. I've said this a hundred times. You know, upend America as it is. Get rid of the government.
Starting point is 00:23:58 No exaggeration. I wish liberals watched. Learning that BLM is lying to black communities and teaching them to hate the police forever changed my opinion on the Black Lives Matter organization but more importantly I learned not to be a you got to be smart to think like this because he's got the whole world black people pressuring uh Pelosi lying to him all the Democrats you got to have an open mind and then look around and go hey the broad that started BLM is living in a mansion right now.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Not getting drafted into the NFL taught me life lessons. I learned nothing. I ended up podcasting. I wouldn't have learned otherwise. I learned to serve others. Now I'm giving back to the black community to make sure they don't become bought into this toxic victimhood mentality that BLM pushes. I just hope it's not too late. into this toxic victimhood mentality that BLM pushes. I just hope it's not too late.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I put a link up there. Did I go buy it? There's a link in the, that you can donate to. All right. Let's move on to somebody just the opposite of Mr. Tatum. Maxwell. To the big house. Get it? Maxwell house. People over in the late 90s. Ghislaine Maxwell, you know, Jeffrey Epstein's helper. She's going to prison for 20 years. Ghislaine Maxwell's victims said the convicted sex trafficker, she just got sentenced,
Starting point is 00:25:33 that her apology doesn't cut it as her attorney pledged to appeal her 20-year sentence handed down on Tuesday. Maxwell, 60, had been bashed her, had bashed her former partner in crime Jeffrey Epstein as manipulative. Here we go, the blame game. Ahead of her sentencing in Manhattan federal court, adding she hoped her harsh incarceration, harsh? What are you, dog styling me? Would bring the victim's closure. Who gives a fuck what you think? Exactly, you witch. I wish she was sorry when she was busy forcing me into a room to be raped.
Starting point is 00:26:12 She should have been sorry then, accuser Sarah Ransom later told reporters outside of the courthouse. You're raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. As a matter of fact, there shouldn't even be aning me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. As a matter of fact, there shouldn't even be an apology.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Rape is rape. Ransom 37 had given a tearful victim's impact statement saying she endured years of mental anguish and twice tried to kill herself after the months of abuse. Harsh sentence. Probably be out with good behavior intent, whatever. Elizabeth Stein, another accuser who stood alongside Ransom,
Starting point is 00:26:49 admitted she had been unnerved when she heard Maxwell's voice in the courthouse. And also, she said this. You would see this day? I didn't. When this happened to me, I thought that it was just happening to me. I had no idea. No idea. By the time that Epstein was arrested in 2019, it had been 27 years almost for me. So this is a nice, a nice piece of vindication and validation for what I've gone through for so many years to finally have it validated and out there in the public. That's right. Just the facts, man. That's what they are.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Maxwell, who was also ordered to pay $750,000 fine, which he probably keeps in an ashtray if she was hanging out with Epstein, had been convicted on charges for helping pedophile financier Epstein to recruit and groom girls to sexually abuse between 94 and 2004. That was Mac. Ten years of being a... She's a little whore.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Oh, she is. And a little piece of trash. Imagine that. Harsh. I wonder what... If she has to do the... If it's a minimum... I doubt it.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Can I tell you something else, though? Let me tell you something else. I don't know where she's going to, whatever. You better watch your ass. Because she knows a lot, and there's a lot of people. You might find another, oh, she hung herself. Wink, wink. They're going to find her out in the yard, the bench press with 400 pounds on her throat.
Starting point is 00:28:25 They were saying, boy, she was maxing out today. She slipped. She is in. She's got to be nervous. She's got to be as nervous as a porcupine in a balloon factory. Boy. You know where I get that? Man, don't forget now.
Starting point is 00:28:44 What was the cartoon with the rooster? big rooster well i when i say boy what what's oh god now i'm forgetting huh oh god foghorn leghorn yes all that thinking for this i say i say i say a son there you go tell Tell me Dallas ain't from the sun. Yeah, he sounded like a white red fox. Red fox and saving his son. I'm sorry, son. Anyhow, hey, I want to introduce you all to Shout Out. See, I believe it's a collaboration with, you know who,
Starting point is 00:29:22 Steven Crowder and his old man. Shout Out is a lot like Cameo, but it's filled with liberty-loving American talents. You can go there to get a personalized message from people like Crowder or Dennis Prager, who I used to listen to religiously
Starting point is 00:29:34 when I lived in Los Angeles, or the very beautiful, the very smart, Lara Logan, who is too edgy for Fox News, apparently, or me. That's right.
Starting point is 00:29:42 I'll be right there. Right now, they only have me listed under comedian, but they should move. I. I'll be right there. Right now, they only have me listed under comedian, but they should move. I think I'll be under podcaster and show host. That's right. I'm available on ShoutOut now to record a personalized video for you or your friends or family. The platform is owned and supported by people like us, and it's super easy to use. Just go to the app store on your phone and search for the Shout Out app. You'll see this logo that you see right there. Then just look for Nick DiPaolo
Starting point is 00:30:11 and let me know who you'd like me to, you know, roast or say happy birthday to, whatever you want. For more info, you can also go to shoutout.fans and see what it's all about. Order one today and thank you guys in advance. Getting the word out. It's not just a, that's the thing. This stuff's important because people are trying to take your speech away for the last 25 years on the left. So you've got to do something about it. All kinds of propaganda floating around out there. They hate people like me.
Starting point is 00:30:45 These algorithms. That's a guinea in a flannel shirt. Somehow it finds me. Here's some propaganda for you. Boy, Jim Henson. I don't know. He's been gone a long time. By the way, I'll tell you what killed him later.
Starting point is 00:31:03 No, he didn't get anything from Miss Piggy. That's the rumor. Muppet. Swine flu. Muppet. No, I was thinking more type of BD. Muppet indoctrination. What better way to indoctrinate and propagandize at the same time than by having Elmo and his jerk-off dad, Louie, lie to your kids, right?
Starting point is 00:31:28 You talk about indoctrination. Obviously, this isn't for adults. This is getting creepy, man. Creepier by the hour. The CDC has their claws into the Muppets now, I guess. Listen to this. Now Daddy has super-duper bandages, just like Elmo. You were super duper today, getting your COVID vaccine, Elmo.
Starting point is 00:31:53 It was a little pinch, but it was okay. Elmo was really glad to have Daddy and Baby David there with him. Baby David, where are you? I had a lot of questions about Elmomo get and baby david is that what he said letting you know that the kids because they already have the ship of kids already this is getting creepier by the moment you're i remember you what you know if they want to be useful have like oscar the grouch wanting kids about chlamydia uncle nick the big bird saying no more anal sex i was knocked out of the nest when i was six desperate nerdy
Starting point is 00:32:32 yeah oh that's right my mistake i forgot they had a gay couple um anyways go ahead and the covid vaccine was it? Was it the right decision? I talked to our pediatrician so I could make the right. Pause. Think about this. This has been until the kids, little kids watch Sesame Street. It was a tough decision. I talked to my pediatrician in first grade. No, it's a pediatrician.
Starting point is 00:32:57 What the fuck's he talking about? Today is the letter P for propaganda. Okay, Peter? You puss. Go ahead. Choice. I learned that Elmo getting vaccinated is the best way to keep himself, our friends, neighbors, and everyone else healthy and enjoying the things they love. Oh, Daddy.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Elmo and baby David have a question. Can we have a hug? Oh, come here, son. Oh, Elmo loves you, Daddy. I love you, too. It's okay to have questions about COVID vaccines for your kids. Get the latest facts by speaking to your pediatrician or health care provider. Really?
Starting point is 00:33:43 I want to hear Kermit the Frog come on. Well, that's not true. My uncle died. He got boosted and he dropped dead bowling. It was almost an impression. Think of Kermit with throat polyps. The 53-year-old Hanson was at the pinnacle of his career when he died on May 16, 1990. Get this. Of a severe strep infection that destroyed his lungs within days.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Hey, what does that sound like? Doesn't that sound a lot like his lungs were destroyed quick? It sounds a lot like what? COVID, doesn't it? Kind of? A precursor? It's kind of ironic, you know what I mean? Must have been a bitch.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Imagine he's in the hospital. He's got two puppets on both hands. That's all you hear coming out of Kermit. Everybody's laughing, thinking he's putting on a show. At the time, PBS award-winning Sesame Street, which featured such enduring Henson creations as Big Bird and Ernie, was seen in 80 countries. So that means 80 countries now are probably subject to this propaganda.
Starting point is 00:34:57 And I wouldn't let my kids watch any of this crap, especially in Disney either. Okay? Okay. Homeschool them. Make your own snuff films. Just don't let them watch TV. I don't care. What? I don't know what I'm saying. I've lost my mind. Anyhow, speaking of girlies, headline. How does my new vagina look? Headline. How does my new vagina look? God, if I had a nickel every time I said that to someone, what?
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, go ahead. A woman on TikTok has revealed that she accidentally sent several photos of her vagina meant for her doctor to an unknown email and a viral video. That's right. Guess who it came to? I get scars on my penis right now. I look like Joe Namath's knee. You think people are into sex, and especially guys online, with over 15 million views. Now, my wife's gynecologist told me they all look alike.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Well, people are still pretty excited, apparently. 15 million views. Chezza blonde, otherwise known as Rice or Reese, R-H-Y-S. Ah, transgender, not even a real puss. Put together like Lincoln Logs. It's an artificial pussy. It's an artificial pussy with no sweeteners, no real sugar. A meat substitute, if you will.
Starting point is 00:36:38 A transgender woman recounted the funny story to her followers and viewers saying she's not really sure what to do about... Yeah, you are. You... First of all, it looks like Amber Heard after she shaved in the dark. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Yeah, it's also famous. Her pussy's been on... Pussy's got more exposure than the fucking my pillow guy having just undergone gender reassignment surgery the tiktoker was asked by her doctor to continuously send updates of her vagina I'd like to see what he's like Dr. Jim Norton was to ensure the healing process was going well
Starting point is 00:37:24 how can you tell when a vagina's healing it doesn't was to ensure the healing process was going well. How can you tell when a vagina's healing? It doesn't. It's a permanent cut. That goes in the show, okay? I'm telling you right now, that goes in the show. Now if that's her on the right, I gotta be honest with you,
Starting point is 00:37:42 even if she still has a dick, I'm taking her to dinner. I might even blow her if she buys me the lobster. That was a guy? Is that what I'm being told? I'm sorry. I'm attracted to that on the right. I like those side titties.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Reese said she sent her doctor two or three photos once a day. I think the doctor's a, it's Dr. Phil. Oh, look at this. You're not doing it right. What I'm telling you, two or three photos once a day. It's the doctor who's the creep. It's not going to change in minutes. Or every other day, as the doctor requested.
Starting point is 00:38:27 But when the doctor called asking where the photos were, imagine the pit in her stomach. Reese double-checked the email she had sent them to, and guess what? God, it would have been funny if it was, well, is this her talking on TikTok? There you go, genius. So I've done something really stupid.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Okay, fine, let's get straight to it. So obviously I've just had a vagina surgery and my doctor goes, so you're going to have to send us email, like photos of it. And just to make sure that it looks okay. So I'm sending like two or three photos, like, you know, once a day, every other day.
Starting point is 00:39:08 And my doctor calls me and goes, Rhys, we haven't got any pictures. Is everything all right? And I was like, I've been sending loads. She checks her email, nothing. Turns out I've been sending pictures of my fanny to the wrong fucking email address so if anyone's got them i'm really sorry i don't really know what to do shit yeah you seem very upset who are you
Starting point is 00:39:35 shitting this is what the attention you wanted your freaking vagina will be on broadway walking the red carpet by itself yep get out of my room you sick cunt. Can I just say, I think, I gotta be honest, I, that's a pretty face. That guy should have been a girl. Unless he's had all kinds of,
Starting point is 00:39:58 I'm sounding, I'm sounding a lot like my buddy Jimmy Norton, who's the funniest with his shit. Jimmy's a, what we call a daredevil, a sexual kamikaze. He's been around the block. He's tried everything. Fucking love him. Commenters joked with Reese, trying to make light of her mistake. Of course, people have plenty to say. Some guys out there trying to explain the emails to his wife right now. to explain the emails to his wife right now. It's true. Oh my God. Somebody else said, what if you ruined a marriage? And then another person says, for free? Some guy who's knee deep in, you know, paying subscriptions every month. Oh my God. Don't say sorry sorry say you're welcome said bob hopes on funny grandson despite the
Starting point is 00:40:50 funny story reese also uses her account to share her experience as a transgender woman with her so this is sort of it's like when a movie comes out and it's about dinosaurs and all of a sudden somebody saw a dinosaur in in California on the highway. And it becomes a story. It's one of those things. Guys, they're just pushing this transgender. Again, why that's the mountain to die on is beyond me. Anyways, in other videos, the TikToker has described the process of having surgery and what her transition has been like.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And I got to be honest, man, it's a pretty face. I don't get it. Is the penis gone? It's going to be, right? Otherwise, you're wasting. Although, I don't know. Well, that's what the pictures are for. So maybe the penis is sitting in a, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:37 It's in a helmet jar. It's in a pickle jar on the fucking mantle. Her father's furious. Whatever. Anyways. Hey, guys, before we go, right, I'd like to thank you, people who contribute to the show financially. It's how we stay alive.
Starting point is 00:41:57 It's as simple as that. One-time contribution. And I'm seeing new names. It's starting to pick up again. We've made some adjustments. It's already working. Lynn Shaw, Maryland. Dale Rubin, California. Joseph Safar, Georgia. Perthrow Enterprises. Whoa, I got a whole company behind me. Ohio. Tracy Spencer. Chris CB. Mark A. Blessing.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Chris CB, Mark, a blessing. Heather Joyce Fenton. Sounds like an actress from the 80s. Justin Olson, a new subscriber. Ken Mosca, Jackalope Bob, Angelo Ricci. Thank you guys for signing up. Seriously, man, we cannot do it without you, all right? That is it for Wednesday, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget Joe List tomorrow on the show. I'll be seeing him this week, and it's going to be a blast. We're all driving, I think, from New York to Boston
Starting point is 00:43:00 in a giant van. I hope a Walmart truck doesn't hit us like Tracy Morgan. Anyways, don't forget to sign up at patreon.com, thecomicsgym.com. Go to nickdip.com. Click on the tour button or merchandise. Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. And then you got shoutout.fans,
Starting point is 00:43:20 which is a more patriotic version of cameo. So that is it. You guys think and I'll say it? You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo君のことを知っている Outro Music

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