The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hunter Between Rock & Hard Place | Nick Di Paolo Show #1584

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about a Brain freeze, Hunter's texts, Musk bites Apple, Gross behavior and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Watch your fat fucking mouth What'd I do? What'd I do, Daddy? How are you, folks? It's Tuesday. Don't forget, tomorrow we've got a very popular guest. You guys loved her, Esty Pelti, on the show. I'll be heading to Texas right after this show. Catch me on Crowder tomorrow morning.

It'll be 10 Eastern, 9 whatever Dallas is, on Wednesday and Thursday morning. I'll be on there live. So, yeah, catch that. And tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'll be plugging it later in the show. We don't have the link yet, but they go on sale tomorrow for obviously Jacksonville and Duluth, Georgia. So that's the beginning of August. So that's good news.

Beginning of August. I know. Well, the next time I mention that, there'll be an NFL preseason game, going to Hall of Fame game. I remember going, oh, the of Fame game. I remember going, ah, the pool is over. I didn't win again this year. I'm going to wait all the way.

Fucking. That's what happens when you're a sports fan, though, if you jump right to the next sport. There's those few days when there's nothing but like gymnastics and golf and you're fine.

Anyhow, speaking of sports, Florida Panthers last night took it to Edmonton again. And this time, Florida outshot them. It's a fucking weird series. But, yeah, 4-1, I think it was. So they're up two games to nothing. I thought Florida had already won a cup.

Apparently, this would be their first cup in history, in their 30-year history or whatever. They've been in the finals twice. I just love the way they play. They're just fucking chippy, relentless. They play with an anger and they look like they want it more than everybody. And Edmonton has all the skill in the world.

That Connor McDavid, who's the best hockey player in the world, he skates around everybody like an adult playing with little kids. It's fucking insane. But nobody ever finishes. He makes a great pass and they can't finish. So whatever. That's your hockey news. And I'll stay away from baseball. What? Anyways, that's about it, I guess. I ain't got nothing else.

Let's get right to it. Brain freeze. And by the way, that's being complimentary, putting the word brain in there. President Biden appeared to freeze during a Juneteenth celebration. Oh, somebody must have told him to freeze. It's Juneteenth. No, just kidding, folks. At the White House yesterday, that's George Floyd's brother, I believe, standing next to him, who seems like a decent man. I get a lot better than his brother, no offense. Biden 81 was filmed standing still.

That's putting it. That's an understatement. Is that a black lady? My eyes are so bad. Or a guy. No, that's a guy. He's got a beard. Oh, those are dreads. I thought that was a veil and a dress. And they're all laughing at him. Look at George Floyd's brother looking at the president. Everybody's going, is he all right? Except for Carmela. She's like, it's my turn. Anyways, yeah, he's standing still as a stone while those around him, including Vice President Harris, clapped. Well, she has black in her. To a concert featuring gospel singer Kirk Franklin. This is friggin' creepy. Take a look at this.

Hello? Hello? Hello? White rhythm. Anybody there? Oh my god. Look at him, where am I? He has no idea! Alright, I can't take anymore. Look at the black guy. He's all right. Right now, Secret Service is in Joe's ear going, he's fine. All right.

All right. All right. Why isn't Biden moving? The Republican National Committee's rapid response account questioned on air. I don't know, Captain Rhetorical. Lights are on, but no one's home, former President Trump's campaign posted. Another original saying.

Who said Biden's got no rhythm? Who said Biden's got no rhythm? Who said Biden's got no rhythm? Ask Senator Mike Lee. Oh, yeah, I'm sure you can get down. Fucking white conservative from Utah. Fucking. He's got a hell of a two-step. Yeah, can't touch it.

Critics say Biden is declining in his old age. Is he? Just critics are saying that? People who fucking love him are saying it and can't handle the responsibility of the presidency. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it.

They're acting like they're just saying it now. And again, folks, we can roll it back. And I'm gonna. I'll have Dallas fish through. I don't know. I'd say about six months into his term, maybe less, I was saying he's not going to make it. I'd say about six months into his term, maybe less. I was saying he's not going to make it.

I still say he ain't going to be the nominee, and he's not going to debate. But the White House and cabinet members have vigorously pushed back against these claims and defended the president's mental acuity and ability to perform on the job, which is called gaslighting. At 81, Biden is the oldest man of service president in United States history. If he is reelected in November, he will be 86. First of all, you're not going to know when his second term ends. The presumptive Republican presidential nominee, right there, that fact alone should rule him out. Former President Trump is just four years younger.

They keep bringing that up. Four years younger or 100 years younger as far as mentality, emotional ability and acuity and everything else. So please shut it. They keep doing that. He's old too. Does he look it? I can't even keep up with him. Wouldn't it be funny if we find out that Hunter's been selling coke to Trump? Fucking, what a story. Speaking of that, text trouble for Hunter. First son Hunter Biden tried to meet up with a since-convicted drug dealer the day before he lied about his crack cocaine use in order to buy a.38 caliber revolver, according to text messages highlighted by federal prosecutors Monday. Those are text messages on the laptop from hell, by the way. Excuse me. On the evening of October 11th, 2018, Hunter, now 54, told a contact to meet me at 7-11 at three. I'm guessing three in the morning. Doesn't really matter. President Biden's son

had spent part of the previous two days trying to arrange a rendezvous with the person who was saved in his contacts as Q. Even now, I watch the ID Network and they're doing these great gangster specials on these drug dealers from the Bronx. It's always Q and E and what you do you know him as? F? G? He says, can you meet me at 7-Eleven now? The younger Biden asked on the afternoon of the 10th. Only to be told that Q, who also called himself Junior, to throw people off the track, I guess, couldn't make it right away.

He had an IBM interview. It's unclear if the two ever met up before Hunter stopped in at Starquest Shooters and Survival Supply in Wilmington on October 12th of 2018. Dailymail.com identified Hunter's contact as Hilado Otero Jr., who pleaded guilty in June 2023 to one count of using a communication device to facilitate a drug conspiracy as part of a deal with Delaware federal prosecutors. Otero was sentenced to 15 months in prison and a year of supervised release. I just got to believe that that was you or me. It would be a hell of a lot more than that. I don't know. I just got to believe if that was you or me, it would be a hell of a lot more than that.

I don't know. Prosecutor Derek Hines noted that Hunter Biden referenced the convenience store in question both before and after the gun purchase, suggesting that it was his regular spot to purchase the addictive street drug, obviously. Yes, sir. But defense attorney Abby Lowell, great lawyer, by the way, noted that the messages from before the gun purchase had no location data confirming the first son's whereabouts. See how the law is.

You can start splitting micropubes. Was he going to meet Q or getting a cup of coffee? Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm guessing a real strong cup of Colombian roast. At 7-Eleven. Yeah. At 7-Eleven. Yeah, at 7-Eleven. He asked Jensen at one point. That's a sick question.

You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. A lawyer for the government. Authorities were able to recover location data from a text Hunter sent to his sister-in-law turned lover, Holly Biden, at around 4 a.m. on October 16th, which placed him at the 7-Eleven about an hour later. So there's the timeline that you can't get out of. And they don't have to prove that he was high when he lied on the form, just that he was using drugs in that general time. Okay. I hope, I hope they say he's innocent, just to highlight the double standard. And again, I predicted they'll slap him on the wrist and go, look, see, it's not.

They're going to have to. It's all fixed. I can't take it. Second half of the show, folks, I'll be talking about the FDA disapproved a very popular chocolate bar that people seem to love. I'll tell you why. I wouldn't try it. Well, maybe I would. I'm getting bored. And also an angry ex-boyfriend we have on video lights himself on fire. It is the funniest shit you'll ever see. You heard me. Get full episodes of the Nick DiPaolo Show louder with a crowd of four days a week, Brian Callen, Mr. Guns and Gear weekly,

and exclusive live streams with Alex Jones for $9 monthly or $89 annually. You get all that. That's exclusively on Mug Club, so sign up now. And for you listeners out there, we are now updating the complete audio version of the show in addition to video. Watchers can still access the video version as normal. Okay, we take care of you. We look out for you. Hey boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to nickdip.com

and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. I don't feel like going to the airport. Even this one that I love very much. Let's move on.

I hope we have a flight attendant that's under 72 years old and not a black gay guy. Or trans. Or trans. I like the trans. I passed the time trying to figure out what he is. Let's move on. Billionaire Elon Musk said Monday he would ban Apple devices at his companies if the iPhone maker integrates open AI at the operating system level. What? No soup for you. Yeah, and I guess that means, when you say operating system, that means so us people can play with it.

It's the last thing you want, isn't it? I think it's too late. I think Tommy's playing with his shit already. That is, this is a quote from Elon. What does he know? He's a real dummy. This guy is amazing, isn't he? That is an unacceptable security violation.

Musk, who is the CEO of electric vehicle maker, thank you, Tesla, and rocket maker, SpaceX. Jesus. And owner of, he treats these like they're fucking, you know, like bodegas and shit. Or Burger King franchises.

And owner of social media company X. And visitors, he says, will have to check their Apple devices at the door where they will be stored in a Faraday cage. I was going to Google that. What's that, Dallas? Faraday is a secure environment that no signals can get in or out.

Ah, is that the name of the company or the cage? It's the name of the cage. It's a company that makes these types of technology. Oh, are they big enough for wives to fit in? I'm sure we can make that happen. Of course. Elon will pull it. Earlier in the day, Apple announced a slew, when you say slew, folks, of AI features across

its apps. This is Apple now. In operating platforms and a partnership with OpenAI to bring the chat GPT technology to its devices. Please, I don't want to have to learn anything else. Okay, I'll just lie on my own or whatever the fuck. Apple said it had built AI with privacy, in quotes, at the core. Right away when you hear privacy and safety. And it would use a combination of on-device processing

and cloud computing to power those features. And here is the response from Elon, and I quote, it's patently absurd that Apple isn't smart enough to make their own AI, yet is somehow capable of ensuring that open AI will protect your security and privacy, Musk said on X. It's just so ridiculous. What's his day like?

I don't understand. He started all these tests so that he could fall, but all of a sudden, he's into rockets now. It's a fucking hobby. It's just fucking... At the beginning of March, Musk had sued OpenAI. Every time I see that, I want to say OpenL, which he co-founded in 2015.

He actually co-founded the goddamn company. Of course he did. And its CEO, Sam Altman, saying the... They abandoned the startup's original mission to develop AI for the benefit of humanity and not for profit. And this guy's probably saying, well, motherfucker, I don't have a $60 trillion. But he probably has got enough, I'm sure, this guy. Musk has also found that his own startup, XAI, he loves X.

startup XAI. He loves X. XAI in a bid to challenge OpenAI and build an alternative to the viral chatbot chat GPT. This is what he does because he's an entrepreneur and he believes in the free market and he's super brilliant. I'll make something better. That's what it's about, man. And by that, that's how this country got great, by the way. People competing. And that's how quality went up. And now we're doing everything to fucking destroy that. XAI was valued at $24 billion. That's with a B. In its last funding round, where it raised $6 billion.

You must have been disappointed. In Series B funding. Imagine being his financial guy. Holy shit. I'm guessing he doesn't have... I do my own books. I wrote some software that, yeah, we know. He probably invented something that keeps him awake all the time

so he never has to sleep. Yes. I think that grows naturally, though. Cocoa leaves. Manny, who owned the Comedy Cellar, who was one smart Jew in his day, Manny wrote the whole program to fucking run that business. I mean, you know, he goes, ah, it's fun. I like shit like that.

I go, so do I, motherfucker. He did that in his well-running, you know, nine comedy clubs. That's it. I can't wait to get off the planet. Embarrassing. I don't mean that, God. Do you hear me? Let's move on to gross behavior.

This was a gross story. Very sad, but I had to bring it in because I like when rich people who, you know, I don't have nothing against rich people. I'm an apologetic capitalist, but I just don't like rich people who, you know, I think they sort of looked at, this behavior just to me was,

a rich and powerful Los Angeles socialite, she was a lady, was sentenced to 15 years to life in prison Monday for the death of two boys as they were crossing the street with their mother and younger brother. You're a loser.

You'll always be a loser. Not the mother. The other lady. Rebecca Grossman. That's who I was talking about. You're a loser You'll always be a loser Not the mother The other lady Rebecca Grossman That's who I was talking about You're a loser Was sentenced after being convicted Of second degree murder

This could be me and my brother When we were little And other charges Stemming from the September 29th 2020 crash That killed Jacob Iskender And his, and his brother, 11-year-old Mark, as they were crossing this. Can you friggin' imagine the mother witnesses it?

She's finished. She'll be finished mentally. I don't care. But it gets worse, folks. It's not like she just turned the corner and didn't see him and shit, you know? That's when I read it. I'm like 15 years. But then I was like, oh.

Nancy Iskender, a biotech executive, grabbed her son, Zachary, who was five at the time. She doesn't do that. She loses three of them, I'm guessing. And dove out of the way. But she and her youngest son witnessed the crash, which to me, I can't even. I remember, not to bring us down this much, but when I was in New York City, I remember reading in the Post

about a lady crossing the street with a stroller and a speeding car, hit the fucking stroller, and in the story it said the baby's head rolled, came off, and rolled down the street and Rested at a curb That was the sentence that sent the chill. I Wonder how many people got traumatized that were walking on the sidewalk that day in New York

Here is the the mother right? This is the mother talking about what should happen to the lady driving It should be it should be straightforward, right? A person killed two children. They didn't do anything wrong. She's a murderer. It should be a straightforward process, right? I mean, for the society, it has to be a straightforward process. So I continue to have hope now that we have a conviction. I am hopeful that we will be

able to move forward. We will deal with that conflict of interest one way or another, and we will get the sentencing Mark and Jacob deserve. Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Joseph Brandolino rejected a request from prosecutors that Grossman be sentenced to 34 years to life, saying such a lengthy term is just not warranted here. That's arguable. Fox LA reported that. He said the children's deaths were an unimaginable loss, but he noted Grossman's lack of a criminal record and philanthropic history. The loss of these two innocent lives, the judge said, has devastated their family and our community. Ms. Grossman's blatant disregard for human life, I'm sorry, this is Gascon,

is a stark reminder of the grave consequences of irresponsible behavior behind the wheel. You know who said that? L.A. County District. George Gaston. Okay. Who gives a fuck what you think he's the guy that's so easy on crime and gangbangers that remember we did a story a gangbanger has his name tattooed guys in there for murder and he passed some law the guy might get out literally gang members had his name tattooed on they like him so much but when it comes to a white rich lady, oh, you're going to the, there's no doubt about it. He's got all kinds of morals and ethics. Grossman, 60,

had prescription drugs and alcohol in a system at the time of the 2020 crash. Although she was married to a prominent LA surgeon, Dr. Peter Grossman, she was racing her boyfriend, former LA Dodgers pitcher, Scott Erickson,

home from a restaurant. Each of them were driving Mercedes-Benz SUVs above 70 miles an hour, and she was married having an affair. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. She never expressed remorse, Nancy Iskender previously said. Prosecutors said Grossman never returned to the scene and failed to aid the boys. She goes, I am not a murderer, and I ask you to recognize that true fact, Grossman wrote in a letter to the judge.

Eh, I say it's fucking arguable. Hey, anyways, before I go on, folks, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join Mug Club to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And while you're there,

I think we posted, yes, August 9th, Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts. That sounds fancy for a guy who says fuck a lot. And then August 10th, the next night, Gas South Theater, Duluth, Georgia. That's August 10th. Tomorrow I'll be plugging.

I'll have the links when I'm on Crowder. And so you can actually, that's when the tickets go on sale. So I hope to see you guys there. All right? All right. Hi. Good night, everybody. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown

And I'm not gonna take it all I've done Cause once I get started, I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else No, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else

And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get in trouble like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else