The Nick DiPaolo Show - I "Hart" Comedy | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1901

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about New Verve Drug, Death by Frog, Pissing Woman Returns, RFK The Wrangler, A Joke's a Joke and Violent Youth Baseball! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day and every, every day. If you want to watch ad free, join a thing called Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app. Today I'm going to be talking about, I'm going to try to talk with this thing on my mouth. It's fucking redden. I know how you girls feel. Saying no. That was one of my bits, by the way.

Remember this about 10 years ago and all that hashtag me too shit? There was the actual rule, even before that, on college campus as they passed, that a guy has to have verbal consent from the woman to move to the next step from kissing to whatever, you had to have verbal consent. And I said, that's just stupid. You can't understand a girl when she's got a dick in her mouth. It's a type of shit that made me famous. Anyways. So, yeah. New verve drug. That has to do with people with high cholesterol. Supposedly, people are born with the fucking anyways. There's a new drug that apparently, there'll be no more excuses for selling those pills now.

It wax it out in one shot. Death by frog, I don't even remember what that means. I give these to Dallas and then, you know, he does what he does to him, which is good. Pissing women retarded. That one I remember. We got a story about a woman, about a woman, you know, renting Airbnbs and then just peeing all over the plane. Why I can't meet when I was

single, I couldn't meet girls like that? Why? Because I wasn't hanging out in Germany. What? RFK the Wrangler. Have you seen the clip of RFK? You know, he has this reputation of you know, he's totally like curious about

animals in nature. You've read shit. Well, he had a couple of snakes. we get footage of him playing with snakes. Try to bite him and he didn't even blink. I love the Kennedys. They all have wet brain. What else?

Netflix now does those roasts that Comedy Central used to do and they get huge names and shit. And Kevin Hart was roasted last week, I think, and Tony Hinchcliffe, who's got a huge podcast, who I met. He goes, you're the reason I do the type of material. I do. And I'm too lazy to pick up the phone and do his podcast with zillions of people who watch. But I thought I might be stepping on Crowder's toes. But then I was made aware in my contract.

I can do whatever show I want, I guess. So whatever. I just, you know what? I'm just enjoying my life at this point, folks. Even though my teeth are falling out and shit in blood. It's a lot of fun. Because I'm doing it in Savannah. Anyways, and also we got a violent youth baseball game that a pitcher did something that's going to make you laugh your ass off or go, what is going on in the world. Very interesting. So, yeah, that's what's on the menu today. Dallas's Braves snuck past my Red Sox last night, who I tune in, like I said yesterday for the wrong reasons because that's now, that's like four losses in a row, maybe five, I don't know. It is just, I feel bad because, and I'll say it again, I don't know, I don't know how the rest of

season's going to go, but I'll guarantee you at some point with this roster, when everybody's healthy and shit, and that's not making an excuse because even when they're healthy, they weren't getting it done. They have so much goddamn talent, but they're all really young. I'm making excuses now, but I'm just saying, I have not given up on this team yet. And we've seen, they have the worst record in baseball, which is fucking hilarious. The Yankees must be laughing their balls off. Anyways, what else? Oh, you know, I'm trying to write this book.

this girl Lou Lou, who when I do Soul Joles in Pottstown, PA, I met her there originally. And she wrote a book that I read about comedians and death that was very good. She interviewed a bunch of comics, how they feel about death and stuff. And I had mentioned to her that I wanted to write a book. And she sort of, with a lot of other people, said, you've got to do it. You can't, you know. So I guess she follows this show because she knows about all the teeth problems I'm having. So she goes, hey, I sent you something.

It was sitting in my PO box for a couple days. So my wife went, what's that? Dentures. Well, they could lead to dentures. My wife went to the post office yesterday and got it. And I opened it. It's a jar of fucking caramel candies. Which I, by the way, which I love.

I'm not a huge candy guy, but caramel. And this is salty caramel, it says. You know what I'm talking about, Delft? and it was a place called Tara's. That was where she bought it or whatever. But I laughed my balls off because, so I immediately pulled out my teeth and started eating on the good side. Ironically, it's the left side.

And my God, I go, oh, these are good. I had like three. Then I went back to whatever I was doing. And then, anyways, 10. 10 even. At about 43 calories, I looked at the back. And, you know, I haven't been doing a junk every week, and I can tell my appetite is getting back to fucking fearsome. Yeah, got on the scale like a bit, stay.

What's up? A few pounds more than I want to be. So what's that matter, though? Like I said, I'll be dead soon. I'll be very skinny. My head will be filled with maggots. That'll be my body weight. But thank you, Lulu, for that.

It was very mean. And also, trying to get the chapter right on my. first girlfriend in high school and the dates and shit. I can't tell you what I did yesterday, but so I called the guy a friend of my who actually is the one who kind of introduced me to her. Actually, he came to my show in Salt Lake City a few months ago, six months ago, whatever it was.

I can't keep, again, I can't keep track of dates. He was a friend of mine in high school and he's seen Bruce Springsteen, I don't know, 180 times. Literally. Literally, he's gone back to the hotel with him and shit. And here's why I like him because he goes, because me and him were kind of different. I liked them. He always thought I didn't like them and I thought he didn't like me in high school.

But I would go to his parties. His parents would have a party for us. He had those parents that like the, you know, back in the 80s, they didn't mind. They would buy three cakes for as long as you didn't drive home. You stayed at our house. And they fought with the best parties of it. But anyways, I called him because he had something to do with me, meeting this girl. And I was hoping he had a different version than I did.

I was hoping he's going to go, no, everybody else is right. That must have been 78. He goes, no, you were a sophomore because I went to Spain. She was in my Spanish class. And I go, what the fuck? Then I'm like, maybe I didn't take, maybe I didn't take her out for a first date for, you know what I mean? And it seems that might be right because I remember fucking drooling over it. It felt like forever.

So I don't know. All as I know is I took her to Paradise Allie and I got an accident and a fist fight. I'm not making up within a 10 minute on a... That was a first... I call my mother. My mother goes, do you remember? And I go, she goes, do you remember when dad and me took you and lend it to the Hilltop Steakhouse? I said, what?

I went on a fucking date with you guys? The fuck out of. What are you hitting the bottle again? Apparently, I don't know. I got to verify that. That was the number one money-making restaurant in the nation. every year it was in the paper it was on Route 1 in Boston

has a big cactus out front like a huge lit up cactus with like porcelain cows on the front and about 10 years ago they find the restaurants been gone forever they took the fucking the cactus down you hear me say caxas down

it's just a taxis down you can suck and cuckusuck and everybody complained that lived near there and they had to put it back up because it's such a landmark. Anyways, my mother's telling me that I went there with my girlfriend and my father and mother. I must say, first of all, I wouldn't have done that unless I was seeing this girl for a while. You know what I mean? That's not something you do two dates in. What am I, Amish? This fucking thing. Oh my God. Folks, I'm going to do the show Toothless. Get ready. My wife will leave me. She's more

worried about it than I am. I go to, I don't think I married a meth head. Yeah, so Pott said, no, it was sophomore year. And I go, yeah, that's what I got. But according to the fucking dates of those movies, anyhow, enough for that, I think that's all I got as far as my boring life from here. Got to go to dinner tonight with a couple that, this woman was on like a soap opera, very attractive lady named Bobby and her husband, David. He was in the movies.

He knew Tarantino. He's been in a few movies. I think we played a clip of one of this weird on this show here. We only went out like maybe three times, four times, and the, since we moved here. But they're moving now. They're moving somewhere else or whatever. So we're having dinner with them tonight at a restaurant.

And you know me, God forbid I have to, God forbid somebody confirms something ahead of time. And I'm scheduled to do something. It makes me, but I actually like these people. So that's all I got, folks. That's what you do when you're old. You go, oh, I can. can't eat this steak. Can you cut it up for me?

Shit like that. All right. Anyways, let's get right to it. Oh, my God. Headline, is Verve 102 right for you? Ask your doctor. Some comedian goes, the doctor's supposed to fucking ask me. What's wrong with me? Farm of giant Eli Lilly, you ever see the tits on her?

Mink, yeah. I don't think they're real. They were made in the lab. Announced Monday that it's gene editing therapy can reduce LDL. As you know, that's the bad cholesterol. By up to 62, 62, the T's are tough. I'm going to get bullied. With a single infusion. Did you hear that?

A single dose of Verve 102 switches off a gene known as PC SK9 that plays a role in the amount of LDL cholesterol, the liver can detect and remove from the bloodstream. That's what your liver does. Less PC SK-9 means less bad cholesterol. Isn't it amazing that they can break it down to what? I mean, you can't even see this shit and they know what its function is?

I don't understand. That's why I think they're all bullshit in us. It almost sounds like it. You're like, okay. Like Nate Bergotsie. He's like the most popular comedian on the, planet right now. A very good guy, funny guy.

He has a bit about when the friggin scientists go, yeah, we found the new star 60 trillion light years away. Okay, who's going to check your work? Okay, we'll have to take your word for it. An early stage trial published this week in the New

England Journal of Medicine tracked 35 patients with heart disease or genetically high levels of LDL cholesterol, which is me. My dad had it. I think my brother has it. The problem is they give you statins,

and people have whole different opinions on statins, how they can be bad or good for you. In the UK, they're outlawed, which makes me think, I got off them four or five, six years ago, but I told my doctor, this was a couple of years ago, he asked if I was still smoking,

because he goes, well, then you might want to get back on it, you know, which made sense. to me. So right now, whatever. But I don't smoke anymore. But I'm still going to stay on it. I just like taking pills. I feel like a musician. You know, in the 60s. The highest dose of the medication, 1 milligram

per kilogram of body mass, cuts the PCSK9 protein in the blood by up to 88%. No serious adverse effects were reported. That's what they're saying, but, you know. Boy, is this great? This drug turns off a tiny fraction.

How the fuck do they do this? Of DNA and your LDL cholesterol is lower by 50% for the rest of your life. Who said that? Well, my primary care physician, Riaz Patel, an academic cardiologist at the University College London, told the science focus last year before the study was peer-reviewed. This guy just looks smart. He looks, but he looked like he'd be a, you know, a high-tech Steve Jobs type guy. That's it, Patel said, one and done.

This is going to be revolutionary, he said. While the initial results are preliminary, a phase two clinical study of Verve 102. I love the verb, the band, by the way. They had one hip, but I fucking love it. Is expected to begin by the end of the year. Well, okay, you're already celebrating a little early. How many trials, you know, we got to do? I need it now.

Existing medications that work the same way by inhibiting P-C-SK-9 production have only reduced cholesterol between 50 and 60%. Another benefit of the medication, LDL doesn't creep back up the way it can with similar treatments. Interesting. Right up my alley. But here's my problem. Well, it's Eli Lilly, so that takes care of that.

They're like, you know what? But let's make money honestly this way. Instead of lying about cholesterol, because that's what they did for years. If you guys remember the standard for having high cholesterol, they keep lowering it. It used to be 750. Then it was 450. I'm exaggerating a little bit. Then 300.

Then 260. 255. They keep lowering it. And then your doctor has to prescribe it. And everybody makes money. Okay. So, but this will make a ton of money, too, I'm guessing. I don't know business.

That's why I'm doing this. Plus, verb one or two doesn't need to be taken every day, like traditional cholesterol-controlling statins, which I just mentioned. Your LDLC is starting to revert back to normal before you get another hit on statins. Miles meant a health care analyst with William Blair told Fierce Biotech. The innovative treatment could be particularly useful for younger patients who are predisposed to bad cholesterol, which would include me and a lot of my family. But my uncle Al's the only one who had a heart attack, and that's because he smoked three packs a day

and drank beer like there was no tomorrow, and was always overweight. He was the guy that used to go to football practice with booze on his breath in high school. He was one of them. He was a fireman and a bricklayer. And I already told you guys, I work with him for some of my dad,

and I look him back on it. my dad did it to punish me because it was fucking scary. This guy was every time I'd mention to somebody like my dad's age, I go, yeah, that's my uncle L.

And the guy would go, El DePaul Mote. His nickname was Mote because he sold Motorola's out of the back of his car. And they go, your uncle's Mote? Oh, he's a crazy son of him. But he was a genius when it came to laying stone and brick. He was like that old school, you know,

fucking Italians building churches in Italy. He would look at the same brick or stone for 10 minutes before he'd lay it, you know, and did tremendous work. And I liked them. He's a fucking, he's great. He comes down to my father's tomato garden and raid the tomato garden. Take all the ripe ones and just leave. And if my father said anything, it'd smack them. Hey, folks, you want to hear more stupid stories like that? November 5th, the punchline, Atlanta, Georgia.

I can't even talk. This thing was fine the first day. I got to have it tightened already? Anybody noticing out there? November 5th, punchline, Atlanta, Georgia, this is Georgia, or Jordan. Atlanta, Georgia. November 6th, the Rivers Casino in Philly. November 7th, Sol Jolz, Potsdam, PA.

Go to Nick Dip.com to get tickets. they're sold out while you're there go to the merchandise page all kinds of shit we got there made in China so I can sell it cheap little kids committing suicide after making 12 bedpans we've got hats hoodies t-shirts IUDs fake tits pasties polls also you want to send a personalized video to someone I'll say what you're thinking so you don't have to book it at shoutout.us I can give people advice I can you know we can roast your friends or somebody you don't like

that likes me, whatever, for a small fee and your first two kids. Any more commercials? I don't have any drink with me. Trying to lay off on that, too. I've been good. I've been drinking a lot of fluids, and you really do poop better when you're hydrated. Boy, the show's getting gross. It's like Dr. Oz meets fucking I would stir.

Let's move on. The feel good guy don't feel so good no more. What? A cleansing ceremony, I try to get sad for shit like this, but I can't. A cleansing ceremony involving the poisonous skin of an Amazonian frog is believed to be the cause of death for a wellness coach, mayor months after he beat cancer. I don't know what you did. You're a damn terrible. All right.

Just get to hell out here. I read that and I go, I got to read this because it made me laugh. Again, for the family, whatever, I feel bad for you, but I'm just saying. It's like when I see people, I know I've mentioned all the shit before, but certain things come to my mind when certain things happen. When I see people get, 10 people get killed in an avalanche skiing on a mountain that they were dropped off by helicopter. Nobody had skied on that for a reason. And I want to feel sad. Part of me does, but the rest of me is laying on the couch, eating triscuits and rubbing my balls and going, I'm not fucking doing that shit.

And I'm too old. You didn't think like that when you're young. I understand. I climb, was it Mount Tardin in Maine with my friends? And when we started the climb, by the way, it was closed. It said, it was October. Signed, it said, don't proceed. We went over it.

I'm dressed like I was going to a nightclub. I get like a jacket on from Chess King. You guys remember that store? And, you know, I'm wearing like frigging, fucking wearing like casual shoes. You know, good stuff that go. And it's like 70 degrees when we left. We got up halfway up.

It was down into the 40s. And then it got even, it was hilarious. We could have fucking. Anyways, I'm just saying that's as dangerous as I got. that in water skiing and having sexual girls that you know had diseases, but you didn't care. After a coming from Birkett lymphoma, oh my God, the guy beats cancer to be killed by a fucking frog. Not a Frenchman, an actual frog. An aggressive type of blood cancer, Christian trend, became immersed in holistic wellness.

But her participation, I'm going to say, going by the picture, those are not the shoulders of a grown man. Those aren't even the shoulders of a girl figure skater. I'm sorry for you, lady, but his petition, I can't even talk. And a dangerous detox ritual involving the use of a towed vaccine had a fatal ending. He looks confused. Throw your son looks like a fag to me. All right, don't pile on. The 40-year-old wellness coach, an owner of a plant-based energy drink company,

regularly shared help tips on a social media account, Christian, even the spelling, right? Dallas is kind of ambiguous. The feel-good guy. It should be guy in quotes. You're going to tell me that that's a, you're going to tell me that's not a trans guy? In other words, a biological woman pretending to be a guy. Look at the face.

That's a girl's face. Those are girls' shoulders. Those are girl friggin' arms. I hope. Dude, what happened? See, and I attribute that. If you're confused about that, you're confused about a lot of shit like Toads can heal you.

Although a bunch of idiots, you know, he's an influencer, or whatever. He became extremely interested in alternative medicine after traveling through Asia and took part in a cambo cleansing ceremony last month in the UK. The traditional Amazonian ritual is practiced by indigenous tribes and uses Cambo, which is a waxy substance secreted by a species of giant leaf frog, also called the giant monkey frog. Huh?

First of all, who's the first guy to try this? It's got to be the first guy that tried sour cream and said, yeah, this is good. Am I right, Dallas? I mean, I like sour cream, only because I know what it is, and I know it can't kill me. But if you're the first person to try that, you're going to go,

this is fucking bad cheese. Aren't you? There's a few of those food. Oysters. Yeah, let me lick that out of the ocean. I've got to write a whole chapter on that. Snatch. Oh, Nick, come on.

In South America. The substance is toxic and used by these frogs to, oh my God, I can't wait to end the show. This thing's never going back in. Welcome to Toothless Thursday. I'll be tomorrow. Is toxic and used by these frogs to deter predators? Oh my God. Ceremony participants drink the D's at tough. A leader, listen to this. This is what they do. They drink a liter of water, then create small burns on the their skin with a burning stick. You mean a match?

And apply the poisonous substance to the open wounds. For men, these wounds are typically on the arms or chest, while for women, it's where it always is between their legs. What? You can't? I did. Does that

look safe to you, anybody? On the legs. They do it for girls on the leg. The resulting vomiting, it says? intended to act as a detox. Practitioners say the cleanse enhances physical endurance, sharpens mental clarity, and boosts overall health. But they mentioned, didn't mention one thing.

It can kill you. You know what I'm saying? However, there's no evidence to support claims that Cambo has any health benefits. So there's no evidence, but they're doing it anyways. What a bunch of bored transvestites. And it's been linked to serious health issues, including C. seizures, liver failure, heart attacks, and even death. So let me get this straight.

No benefits that we know of, but we do know it can fuck up your liver, heart, and cause death. What's wrong with, do you really feel bad for him? A people at his funeral or her funeral going, at least she died doing what she loved, eating out frogs. The frog toxin acts as a strong psychedelic, similar to Anheuser-Busch and, no, I-Haweska, and can result in harmful effects like confusion. memory loss, lethargy, and psychosis. So can dating.

I mean, listen, folks, the physical effects can also include seizures. Again, liver failures, heart attacks, sometimes resulting in sudden cardiac death. Again, I'm not seeing the upside. In 2019, an Australian woman named Natasha Lechner died after using Cambo. In 2021, another Australian named Gerard Antonovich took Cambo on a sick. day retreat also died. Do these people not read the news or the paper or whatever fuck? Um, there's another guy who tried it, but he survived. We have footage of him, right? Here you go. It's like my first mushroom trip. Wasn't even a bad as that. It's just a

classic park machine. That's true. It's the only thing that freaked me out a little bit. But I can't, as Louis C.K. said to me, because I told he took acid like a hundred times. And I saw, I go, Louis, I can't even handle a joint. It fucking freaks me out. He goes, I know.

He goes, there's nothing scarier than being terrified of your own mind. Holy shit does he have a way with words. You ain't fucking kidding, dude. these guys that do drop acid without even thinking and I get it. I mean, if you can handle it, I can see, you know, Colin Quinn told me a story.

He took acid and he was talking to these guys in a dorm room and he did the acid and then he went on some trip somewhere. Right? Went on some trip somewhere for the next fucking it lasted like almost 11, 12 hours.

And then he comes back and the guys are gone and he's still trying to talk to him after going on some faraway trip for Twelva. What the fuck? Yeah, that sounds like fun. Anyways. No, no, no!

Oh, in our FLA segment tonight, ladies and gentlemen. The same woman is busted again in Pensacola, Florida for the same crime, peeing on Airbnb furniture. Her name is Nicolette Keio. Yeah, but what's her phone number is what I say?

She, uh, oh, we have a local nose touched upon it. Here we go. A Pensacola woman accused of urinating on Airbnb property is back in jail tonight. As more rental property owners are coming forward saying they are victims. Nicolette Keo is accused of taking videos of herself, urinating on furniture, appliances, and bedding, and posting it to adult content websites. besides to make money.

To make money. You think any guy would make money? Look, I'm pissing on my wife's bed. No, but guys will watch anything. I said to Dell, she's kind of cute. I'll call her up and say, hey, pretend I'm a fucking Ottoman. Pretend I'm a beanbag chick. Hey, take a dump on me.

Look at that crazy bitch. You see? First of all, she knits her own bikinis. How's that going to last in the water? Fucking yarn. Can't you just tell she's crazy as a shit house? And again, when you're single, you don't know when you first start dating, you're a guy, and then you go through a couple of these, and you go, oh, then you can spot it a mile away.

You'll be at a bar and you notice the girl is like, she's breaking her glass and eating the glass. You're like, you used to want to get her number. Now you're like, no, I've got to get out of here. She's got nice hair. Arrest report said Keough urinated on furniture and two downtown. Pensacola Air, maybe she was molested at Ethan Allen. That's a furniture store, folks. Maybe she was molested as a kid, and she's taking it out on furniture.

In two downtown Pensacola Airbnb homes, according to the station. She reportedly caused thousands of dollars in property debt. What kind of piss you got there? Where, W-E-A-R said, adding that she, is that a station where? W-E-A-R. What a dumb name. Adding that she allegedly uploaded videos of the incident to an adult website, Keio was just released from the Escambian County Jail on $5,250 bond, the station said.

But now Keo is behind bars, again following a similar accusation. Now, if I'm her, I'd just say, I got a weak bladder. And I pee when I get excited. When I rent a nice place, I get excited. And that's the noise I may. She was hit last week with a felony charge of property damage worth over $1,000. That's in the latest story. Can you imagine?

I wonder if she really, if she really wanted to, you know, I don't know why she's doing, oh, she's making money. But if you wanted to really ruin the furniture, you know what you do? You live on asparagus before you start pissing. What is that about? Somebody tell me, and I love asparagus, but Jesus, H. In reference to the new charge, the owner of another Pensacola Airbnb on April 24th, told police videos show Keo,

who stated his residence last year from August 31st to September 11th, urinating on furniture inside the home. It's kind of turning me on. Videos given to Pensacola police reportedly confirm the allegations. you done there lady nope she just spotted a queen size bet

a poster bet the total estimated property damage comes out to $17,395 the station said adding that the breakdown is blue coral chair they break it down for you they got a receipt she pissed on a

blue coral chair 500 bucks king sized mattress four grand what's a you're a king in it? Four grand? I'll sleep on his fucking sidewalk. Twin mattresses, 2,900.

Leather sofa, $5,195. Sleeper sofa, $4,800. Sounds like the price is right. Keough appeared in court Thursday, and a judge set her bond at $10,000 until she pissed in the seat in court,

and he raised it. $25,000. But Keough will remain in Ascambia County Jail where she'll piss on her own bunk bed. No, we're reported. Since her bond was revoked for violating bail conditions over a

battery arrest in mid-March, this broad is bat-shit-crazy and a whole lot of fun. Look at her. Nuts, the smile. Kio is due next in court. I can't say D's. June 9th for a bond

revocation hearing, adding that she'll then appear on June 12th for the property damage charge. And then, in July 8th, he's going to appear at Sunny's Titty Bar in Pensacola, where she'll pee on all kinds of shirts and pants if you bring them up. It's a true story, everybody. Take it easy. Make it easy. Anyways, what is that about? She's making money.

It's like, okay, there's other. Other ways, I mean, seriously, she's like cute enough to go on, have a, what's it called, only fans? Do you see what some of these, I just read some girl, she was a secretary or a dental hygienist? I don't know. She quits her fucking job, right? Quits her fucking job, starts an only fans page, and made close to a million dollars the first month, it said. What does that tell you about men? Fucking insane.

Yeah. Women. Oh, we have it so tough. We're second-class citizens in this patriarchy. Are you fucking dog-styling me? Bartenders do it. You ever see a bartender big tits? What are they wearing?

That's their money makers. And I don't hold it against them. I hold it behind them. I hold it behind them. But you know what I mean? It's just because of guys and fucking such and they know.

Oh, it's fucking hilarious. I won't tip a bartender who has an A or speakup. I'm getting nothing out of me. I'm kidding, folks. Let's move on to one of my favorite stories today. I'm starting to like this RFK Jr. guy, the more and more

we hear about him, read about them, see them. I love the fact that he told his family he go fuck themselves and went with Trump right there this guy walks to it and he always has

sort of walked to his own beast um health and human services secretary I forget that he's actually a you know a fucking

white house guy health and human services secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. posted a wild video Tuesday of himself wrangling two black racer snakes while his wife actress Sherry Cheryl Heinz

begged him to be careful. Could he be happier? Could he be happier? Both snakes which are not poisonous. Did he know that? It wouldn't have mattered. Repeatedly lurched at Kennedy in an attempt to bite while a grinning cabinet member, meaning him, proudly showed them off to centers for Medicare and Medicaid services. That's Administrative Dr. Mahat Oz and his wife. Here's some footage of this crazy bastard. Hey, honey. Listen to his wife. Why? Why?

So what are they? Well, they're having sex, so what were they? Pause. What did Dr. Oz say? They were having sex, buddy. Oh, that's what he was. Yeah, good. I wouldn't

They're not They're not pockets They're not Oh I wouldn't do that Okay Okay I'm fighting

Oh my god Jesus The mouse are huge Mommy Mommy please I love this I want to meet this dude He's a crazy fuck

And his wife, Cheryl Hynde, you can't blame her. She's like, honey, honey, you're a Kennedy. For Christ's sake, we lost one of your brothers in a pillow fight a couple of years ago. You can't be playing with snakes. Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking patio. Everybody's strapped in. I, Bobby, Bobby, please.

Kennedy did not appear to heed the distress pleadings of his wife, continuing to toy with the snakes while grinning from ear to ear. The only shocker thing was he didn't have jeans on. He's always been working out in his jeans. During his 2024 campaign, Kennedy posted videos of himself wrangling snakes out of friends' homes and releasing them

into his own backyard or the nearby Santa Monica wilderness. God, is he fucking nuts? Listen to this. During his 2024 campaign, Kennedy posted videos of himself wrangling snakes out of Friends Home. Did I just read that? It's there again. The presidential campaign also re-aired a clip from 1974 documentary.

The last frontier of a 20-year-old RFK Jr. catching a puff adder in Kenya. Future President, RFK Jr., catching a puff adder. The video was titled, that's him, by the way. Look how skinny. You can tell it when you see his face that it's him. but look how skinny and he always,

apparently he's always fascinated with this shit, which is, check this out when he was a young guy. You see something? We got a little viper in the end. Oh, it's a little viper. You know, it makes these animals so dangerous to puff hatters

is because they're fairly torpid. They'll stay in the pack or somebody steps home. I'm not going to say, I'll give you a hand on that. Well, you got to have respect the snakes. Yeah, I can tell you respect them. You're choking him.

Look at that. Now he's going to play with him. Is it random coming out of them? I've had some experience at handling snakes back home. Looks like a Led Zeppelin. The pump fatter is quite similar to the American timber rattle. It's not at all silent. No, comfortable to touch, you might say.

Well, I wouldn't like them in bed with them. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people? interrogating, like me. I love this fucking guy. Just last month, listen to this, it emerged that RFK Jr. once

pulled his family's car to the side of the highway to chop the penis off of a road-killed raccoon for future studies. At least it wasn't for a snack on the ride. It's not entirely clear what about the

trash pandas genitalia he wanted to study. That's what they call raccoon and trash pants. I'm that cute. Get the fuck out of my. How about RFK Jr. being a man and torturing his wife with real snakes? And again, like I said, Kennedy, you know, they die

skiing, they die in fucking planes, shot in the head, in a kitchen. Tremendous family. And what else did he do? Remember, he told the story when he was, first became one of Trump's guys.

Somebody told a story about him in Central Park. Oh, he went deer hunting or something and had the deer on the roof of the fucking whatever. But they weren't going to let him through. So he stashed the dead deer in Central Park or some shit. Ay, aye, aye, aye, aye. This thing is already. headline a joke's a joke remember that folks that's my I want that on my headstone no actually I want the other one you know what the fuck was that all about that might be a good name for the book too

comedian Kevin Hart defended fellow funny man Tony Hinchcliffe's comedy routine from his roast on Tuesday's episode of the breakfast club saying it might have been the best of the whole night let me tell about Kevin Hart by the way and I and maybe I've already said this on the show. He showed up at the comedy cell at table years ago, in from Philly and sat down at the table. And you would have thought we'd known him his whole life and just started busting balls with the rest of us. And some of us know, oh, this kid's got charisma and he's a funny fuck.

And sure enough. And I was looking at annual salaries, not net worth. Listen to me. Annual. yearly. He made 80 million last year. What a racist country, huh? It's amazing how racist it is.

Tiger Woods, Bill Cosby, not to mention every fucking pro athlete. What a racist country. The recent roast of Hart made waves for its no-holds-barred jokes that outrage people across the political spectrum, including jokes about the deaths of Charlie Currick and George Floyd. Netflix's recent roast specials have been infamous for jokes about panelists, divorces, dead relatives, and numerous other taboo topics. See, Netflix is like,

and Comedy Central is smart too, they're like, here's the great thing about roast. Because it's a roast, they're going to go over the line with shit, if there is a line. And it's going to cause a whole lot of publicity. And people are going to go, well, I'm watching the next roast. He's got, well, without the channel getting in trouble.

It self-markets itself. Those are the funnest things, Comedy Central. Every time I get invited to one, I fucking, oh my God, took me five minutes. Fucking being on a plane. I remember me and Geraldo on a plane going out to do, I think it was the Pam Anderson one,

and just fucking, and again, if you like that type of shit, if you think he cut deep, Tony Hinchcliff with his job, Google, Howard Stern's roast of Artie Lang. I wrote the meanest, fucking most racist shit that made that look silly,

in my opinion, yet hilarious. Check it out. And Hinchclips are funny fuck. And he does sound like he's a gay guy, but he's not. It's just, he's got that, sort of that Jack Benny type of, he's funny. I think he's, you know, like Jeff Ross,

or a roast mask. This fucking guy is how to cut deep with his fucking jokes. During the night, Hingecliff made head, I can't wait for the show to end. I'm gonna fucking stamp on these. During the night, Hingecliff made headlines by appearing to employ Floyd was watching, George Floyd was watching the show from hell saying,

the black community is so proud of you right now, George Floyd is looking up at us all, laughing so hard he can't breathe. See, that's a sign of a, that's a sign of a, You got him with the first line, right? And then you kick him when he's... That's how you write a roast show. A Hart spoke candidly about the controversial and widely popular roast to Charlemagne

and the other host of the Breakfast Club saying, yeah, the George Floyd joke, it wasn't a tasteful joke to our culture, Kevin Hart said, to our audience. This is why Kevin's smart. But our audience that's watching the roast, if you're watching the roast, you get get why they're doing it. He's saying, if black people are watching this, they get it. You know what I mean? They're watching the roast.

They know what goes on at roast. You get why the racial humor is on the table. I did it. I think was Jeff Foxworthy? No, oh, is it? No, it was Larry the Cable got roast. Warren Sapp was on the dais. And I said, I heard Warren in the green room

before the show talking to his manager about his contract for this show. And he said, no, they said it's 12 acres and 45 mules. I look over him like, is he fucking laughing? That guy could get to me in three seconds. If you remember, he's a Hall of Fame rusher. And Dennis Rodman on the Pam Anderson Road. I said, Dennis is the only guy to prove you can be illiterate and cool at the same time.

Anyhow, here is Kevin Hart on with Charlemagne the guy. on the breakfast club talking about the roast and what Tony Hinchcliff said. Happens every year when you do a roast. It's not new. This isn't a new, it's not a new agenda. It's not a new approach to comedy. Do you feel like Tony Hinchcliff went too far

when he made that joke about George Henscliff? It's Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah. Like, I don't, like, I don't expect less. I don't expect more. I feel like you're saying going too far is the point. I don't know for words. Yes, I mean, that's a good point, though.

That's why you're there. And I hate to say this, but I'm going to because we're being honest. People are talking about that joke. Talk about his set. Tony Hinchcliff arguably had the best set or one of the best sets. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

And I don't watch them because I know I could step right in there and do better than half of the people. But, you know, but he's right. Kevin looked at it, you know what I mean? And Charlemagne made a good point going, so that's the point sort of. And it's like, yeah. First of all, anybody that asks, you think he went over the line,

and obviously you've heard me, my philosophy, there is no fucking line. And the reason being, your line could be a foot away. Mine's a mile away for what offends you. So that's silly. And you can joke at anything. Pete Davidson's dad

died in one of the towers on 9-11. He had a joke about it on a roast. that's that's that's that's that's comedian DNA is what that is there is no fucking um know what I'm saying what was my most brutal one that everybody said could have been I don't even fucking remember it's just on the tip of my tongue um anyways I was laughing out loud at Tony until that joke Charlemagne said oh boy you he said he said I don't like when people joke about violent, tragic death, Charlemagne added, noting that he felt similarly about a joke about Charlie Kirk death told by another comedian,

Pete Davidson. Yeah, but see, you didn't get offended, Charlemagne, until somebody made a joke about George Floyd. The rest of it was fine. See, and I know you balanced it off by saying somebody did a Charlie Kirk joke that you threw. it's come on again a joke is a fucking joke long as it's funny you can't just go hey he's up he was a fucking ignorant end or whatever it's not a joke got to be a set up in a punchline it has been some clever fucking turn to it Louis CK has one of the most distasteful favorite jokes of all fucking time about the twin towers

um he said some people judge what kind of person you are by how how long you waited till after the towers went down to jerk off for the first time. And Louis goes, I jerked off in between them going down. Pure genius. A co-host mentioned that she did an interview. Oh my God, she did an interview with George Floyd's brother about the joke. And Hart responded that that sort of into is not the kind of into he would ever watch. And I agree.

His reply had Charlaming doubled over with laughter. The co-host went on to mention the wish from Floyd's brother that Hart would have stepped in to stop that particular joke. George Floyd's brother wished Kevin stepped in. That's because they see life through a racial lens. And I mean, but I also understand this, folks. If you're not a comic, that should bother you or whatever, you know? I really think people get into comedy are the ones that, like,

inherently nothing bothers you as far as a joke goes. do I mean I understand why people who want comics go that's over the line but if you hang around for comics for 10 minutes you'd be like anything else you'd be desensitized you'd be desensitized

you know what gonna name this show fucking dental whatever sounds like I got a cleft lip for fuck sake anyways you're gonna step in and stop that joke it's just for ridiculous it really is sorry Mr Floyd this is he says this is actually a good a good thing to give a rebuttal to see they talked about my they talked about my dead mom and my dead dad heart said like I'm going to appreciate I'm going to appreciate humor I don't get affected by the intent of the humor and that honestly I mean and if you're a comic and you weren't like that when you got into the business you sure and fuck a year into the business you because you get a

That's all that makes comedians laugh is that type of shit. And I know you guys have heard me say this quote. It's one of my favorite, it's not a quote, but it's about comedians. W.C. Fields said, to make a civilian laugh, you dress a guy up like an old lady

and push him down the stairs. To make a comedian laugh, you actually push an old lady down the stairs. Is that not the best way of describing it? It's fucking true. and I love that about us. Finally tonight, just a bit outside, did an Oklahoma 11-U baseball coach

order his pitch to hit, and this is at traveling teams, right? 11-year-old kids. To hit an opponent? I don't know. Did he? That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Was that boy then ordered to throw a fastball at the opposing team's dugout?

Those are the accusations being thrown around by a coach out of Nebraska who says his dugout was targeted at a Kansas City U.S.S.A. tournament on Sunday. Today, all of my boys learned a life lesson. While Easton was up to bat against Oklahoma 11, 11 U.S. coach, excuse me, Michael Riles, excuse me, told their pitcher to throw at Easton's head. after Easton stepped out and told the umpires the coach said never mind throw it at their dugout instead a 70 mile an hour fastball thrown into my dugout hitting one of my players Nebraska coach branded magnie said on his personal Facebook page um here's it's a video of the friggin clip show it again oh my god

You know who she sounded like fucking De Niro in that clip we play? Hey Larry! I'm going to come down here and eat that dog. Whose mother's an animal? You son of a bitch. What the fuck?

There's no debating that a ball was thrown in a dugout. Whether the boy was ordered to do it is still in question. Magny further claims that the pitcher was kicked out of the game, but he was allowed to stay in the dugout and the coach wasn't kicked out of the complex. What is going on?

Do better U.S.S.A. baseball. At the end of the game, we shook their hands, the coach at, and we were the better men slash boys. The boys learned you can't control what others do to you, but you control what your response can be. Somebody teach the black community there. Ours was to use this as a fire and close out the game. They used that as fire, as motivation.

Magnet added. And an interesting twist to this story, Magni also claims that when he pleaded for the Oklahoma team to be issued to forfeit, he was told that his team could forfeit or he could call the police. Oh, my God. What a world of adult children. That was some diverse shit today. That is it, boys and girls.

Don't forget Cameo.com. If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative, go to cameo.com. and click on the profile. It'll tell you how to do it. That's it. You guys thinking, I will say it as I always do and have been for a long time. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here for the final day tomorrow.

I'm going to go to the dentist at 8.15 tomorrow morning. So I'll be in a rare mood at 6 p.m. Eastern. I'll see you then. Hi. Good night, everybody.