The Nick DiPaolo Show - ICU for PM in UK | Nick Di Paolo Show #329

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

New White House Press Secretary. Finally some good news for NYC. Gov. Ralph pictured in black face mask. Thank you Drew W. from Temple, TX for your "Ask Nick!" question and for being a valued Patreon ...supporter. FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, Nick DiPaoli here. I just wanted to drop your note. Thanking you so much for supporting the show in these tough times. I know, you know, everybody's feeling this coronavirus effect, but you guys have come through with flying colors supporting the show,
Starting point is 00:00:15 whether it's a one-time contribution at nickdip.com, whether it's signing up for patreon.com, becoming a monthly subscriber, or sponsoring the show if you have a business which isn't shuttered right now. We can't tell you how much it means to us. You know, and one thing that stays steady even through a pandemic is the politics. The media has just revved it up even more against Trump saying he's not handling this right blah blah blah blaming him for everything which is all a crock of shit right you got to be tired of uh
Starting point is 00:00:52 of left-leaning news it's all that's on tv really other than Fox News so if you need a break from that want to have a few laughs and you believe in free speech like i do uh tune in to the nick depaulo podcast go to nickdip.com you can watch it on youtube and when you do watch it on youtube click that button below and become a subscriber that makes my numbers goes up it makes sponsors want to advertise on the show and we can continue this you guys have been tremendous through this. I can't thank you enough. All right. That's all I wanted to say. So now I'd like you to enjoy the show. So enjoy. guitar solo Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. How are you, folks? Welcome. Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show.
Starting point is 00:02:16 It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. And how about that was, I think, the president of Uganda. It's somebody in the higher up. I don't know if it's the president of Uganda it's somebody in the higher up I don't know if it's the president but it's good to see as his emotions in check and he's thinking logical actually I agree with everything he said he could have been talking to Detroit or Atlanta or Baltimore your kids grab the nuts twist their nuts rip off the dick I don't understand dick. I don't understand. It's a pandemic.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I told you. I told you. No fucking kiss. No, but you wouldn't listen. Why, look at you now. Stupid fuck. Your kiss. Oh, those fucking, I don't know, those guys creep me out. My favorite was the guy that used to drink his own piss
Starting point is 00:03:03 in the morning, Idi Amin. That's what he's known for, having a nice glass of his own piss and then slaughtering his people. But we did business with him. What are you going to do? It's a dirty world out there. Please watch Narcos, please. I finished the Colombian one, and I'm watching the Mexican one now. You brown people have real tempers, I'll tell you. Talk about white people. Come on now. So fucking good. It is so good. Watch it. That and the fucking Tiger King. We'll talk about that in a few seconds. Breaking news, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you're corona free, by the way. Thank you for tuning in again. My God, we need this. I will be a distraction for an hour. And, you know, I mean mean your kids must be
Starting point is 00:03:45 climbing up your fucking back you want to bitch slap them but somebody will call the cops you know uh anyways the the the breaking story uh it's not it's corona free this story actually kaylee mcinerney will replace stephanie grisham as a White House press secretary. That's her right there, huh? That's her right there, of course. Delicious. Thank you. Yes, she is. I am here.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I have things to say. Hey, everybody. We're all going to get laid. Yay. Anyways, Trump likes him. Hot. Does he not? I mean, he's just asking for trouble
Starting point is 00:04:28 She could be a Well, I've seen her on Fox a million times Anyway, she's going to replace Stephanie Grisham The only press secretary in history Who never did a press conference I think she was a placeholder She replaced Sleepy Eye What's her name? Huckabee Sanders
Starting point is 00:04:44 Who was great, by the way at her job uh Grisham who replaced Huckabee Sanders last June will return to the east wing as first lady Melania Trump's chief of staff you need a chief of staff when you're a fucking first lady without having ever held a press conference McEnany a spokesman for the Trump campaign, is going to take her place. There she is in all her slender. I mean, in all her whatever. I guess it's been in rumors, long-time rumors, speculation that Grisham was on her
Starting point is 00:05:18 way out of the press secretary role. Add to the speculation that First Lady reportedly kept speaking to her on a nearly daily basis. So she was sort of a placeholder. Grisham and Trump previously worked together when she served as the first lady's communication director before becoming press secretary.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Then Mark Meadows answers the picture. Newly installed white house chief of staff. And he didn't really care for Grisham. He wanted to revamp the white house press office he wants it to play a much bigger role and i agree get him some positive ink he says it's a 40 person team the press office that's a lot of people let's get him some good stories uh meadows clashed with grisham since coming into his new role and target her as someone he wanted to replace. Anyways, also joining the press staff is Alyssa Farrah. I didn't pull up a pic of her because I don't have any handy wipes in the house.
Starting point is 00:06:12 What? I'm sure she's a fucking nine. You can't have a name Alyssa Farrah and be a dog. She was also seen as a possible press secretary. she was also also seen as a possible press secretary uh grisham said in a statement that her successor will be announced in the coming days and that i will stay in the west wing to help smooth the transition mackinani a cable news staple for her impassioned defense of trump could not immediately be that's all it takes to get on trump's team if you're out there as a pundit on all these shows and you're fucking you you know, defending him night and day,
Starting point is 00:06:46 he'll snatch you right up. Hope he watches his show. I'll be filling in soon. I'm the new fucking press secretary. Hey, Acosta, you cocksucker, get out of the room. What are you from? MSNBC? Yeah, go fuck a dog. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Tell Rachel Maddow she's a fucking he-she. That'd be my first day. That'd be like Scaramucci. Remember they canned him? I'd just be calling on Fox News. What are you from, Bloomberg? Get out of here. How'd he do?
Starting point is 00:07:16 Anyways, that's a big whatever. New press secretary, easy on the eyes. What are they going to do? It's a nice and dangerous thing. Hey, we got a little bit of positive news as far as corona goes um the outbreak uh shows signs of leveling off in new york new jersey uh but vigilance is there it's good news uh the governor of new york new jersey louisiana pointed to tentative signs on monday the coronavirus outbreak may be starting to plateau in their states but warned against complacency as the death toll nationwide approached 11,000, 11 large, 11K.
Starting point is 00:07:53 That's a lot of fucking clams. 11,000 people. out the governor cited data suggesting the rates of growth and hospitalizations was slowing possibly signaling a peak was at hand in three u.s epicenters of the pandemic boy did i get out of there in time new york governor andrew cuomo stated statewide deaths from covet 19 uh caused by the virus were up 599 from sunday on par with an increase of 594 during the previous 24 hours and 630 on Friday. The state's overall tally of confirmed cases grew by 7% from the previous day to 130,680. But hospitalizations, admissions to intensive care units, and the number of patients put on ventilator machines to keep them breathing had all declined. Here is Fonzie.
Starting point is 00:08:42 declined. Here is Fonzie. Up once again, number of people lost, number of New Yorkers, 4,758, which is up from 159, but which is effectively flat for two days. That's good news. While none of this is good flattening. I mean, the flattening parts. Possible flattening of the curve is better than the increases that we have seen. There it is.
Starting point is 00:09:16 The Yankees in first place. New Jersey chasing them. The Michigan Wolverines are in third in California. Look at that, though. Look at fucking New York, New Jersey, Michigan, California, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Florida, Pennsylvania, Illinois, make out the Big Ten. It's starting to slow down in Washington.
Starting point is 00:09:36 But that's seeing some light, hopefully. He said, yesterday I worked for 16 hours, and I had, this is, oh, a doctor they were talking to at a New York hospital. No, he's a fire department lieutenant, Anthony Almageta. Yesterday, I worked for 16 hours. I had 13 cardiac arrests. And that's a lot of death, he says. I don't know if any of us will ever be the same after this.
Starting point is 00:09:59 We're going to talk about a story later on how it, now they say it goes after the heart sometimes. a story later on how it now they say it goes after the heart sometimes they they're trying to figure out if that's a byproduct of reacting to the virus or it actually infects the heart and new york city accounts for two-thirds of nearly 4,800 deaths in new york state which in turn represents 45 of the nation's total deaths that's that's pretty creepy man if that's a fact tell me am i lying our efforts to flatten the curve are starting to pay off uh cuomo said no this is phil murphy who hates trump new jersey uh second highest number of cases death phil murphy cited a 12 day-to-day growth rate and confirmed positive cases on monday half the rate for march 30th he says our efforts to flatten the curve is starting to pay off
Starting point is 00:10:50 but warn that uh relaxing social distancing rules would trigger a renewed surge in cases that could yet overwhelm the he's been on many clips online shitting all over trump and the job he's doing because he has to he's at them lou. Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards likewise expressed cautious optimism about efforts to contain transmission of the virus in his state. New hospital admissions are trending downward, he told the news conference, but this will only become a trend if we keep mitigation efforts up. He's right about that. You got to, sir. You got to listen to your... I guess we're having a little rebellion in Idaho, which I love as the middle of the country.
Starting point is 00:11:30 You know, it's all retired cops that live there and shit. You know, old school. Anyways, in a glimmering hope for the country as a whole, the latest research model from the University of Washington, one of several cited by the leading health authorities, from the University of Washington, one of several cited by the leading health authorities, forecasts 8,100, I mean, 81,766 U.S. coronavirus fatalities by August 4th, down by 12,000 from a weekend projection.
Starting point is 00:12:05 So the numbers of U.S. fatalities numbering 10,902 on Monday. We're rapidly closing in on Italy and Spain. The countries with the greatest loss of life to date at more than 16,000 and over 13,000 respectively, according to Reuters. The tally of all known U.S. infections topped 360,000. But it's good. They're seeing less admissions at hospitals in New York and stuff. So there's a little bit. But here's the question.
Starting point is 00:12:27 At what point do you go, okay, we can go back to work and go to life as usual? You know what I mean? What's that number? We can't wait, obviously, until there's none left, right? How's that going to work? At what point do they go, okay, back to, you know what I mean? I don't know thank God I'm a comedian who tells dick jokes at 3 in the morning I can't handle this
Starting point is 00:12:48 shit it's ridiculous but there's some interesting shit came out about it and then about the coronavirus fears coronavirus can hide in cells and reactivate later after 51 recovered patients tested positive again but it's not as bad as you think okay the patients from the city of daegu south korea where i have a beautiful two-bedroom had all spent time in quarantine while recovering from the virus but were diagnosed again within days of being released. South Korea has been among the most successful countries globally in controlling the outbreak, using strict quarantining and widespread testing to slow its spread of the virus. The number of new cases being diagnosed each day in the country
Starting point is 00:13:40 is now at levels seen as a pandemic was getting underway in February. The 51 cases were identified as part of a study conducted in daegu the epicenter of the outbreak by a team of epidemiologists from the centers of disease control the center said it did not believe the patients had been reinfected but that the virus had remained at undetectable levels in their cells and later reactivated oh yeah that's fucking that's great news it's like hair gel you know your hair gel you have to reactivate it later in the day same thing how's that for an allergy give that to anthony fauci tell him i tell him tell him he's welcome that's really putting moose in your hand it fucking dries i ain't gonna wait up the claim runs contrary to the bulk of current evidence about how the virus works speaking to mail online paul hunter an infectious disease
Starting point is 00:14:29 professor at the university of east anglia said i agree that these will not be reinfections but i do not think these will be reactivations he says personally and here's the key i think most the most likely explanation is that the Clarence samples were false negatives. One in five COVID tests give you a false reading. Coronavirus patients are typically required to test negative twice before being allowed to leave quarantine. before being allowed to leave quarantine. Where this happens and they are later found to be infected, it is thought to be much more likely that the negative tests gave the wrong result.
Starting point is 00:15:13 So I'm hoping that's what that is. The tests currently available produce an incorrect results roughly one in five times. It is currently thought that the coronavirus patients will remain immune from the disease in at least the medium term once they have recovered i'm hoping that i'm telling you i know i had it when i get back to chicago i know here's my question that means i have antibodies in me that they could use so where do i give my blood somebody call it nick dip ducker tell me where to go i'm not using it at least my pecker's not why you get the fuck out of here where do i i could have the antibody somebody could use this you know i mean but i don't see them really making uh stressing uh where to go or what to do they're so busy testing and
Starting point is 00:16:02 everything but um now here's the story again on the periphery of the coronavirus but the political correctness that's one thing that never dies you know michigan state university which i've done no less than 15 stories about michigan state university and the political correct horseshit they have teams of kids that are supposed to walk around on campus and listen for racists and hatred and snitch on each other. It's the fucking creepiest. I love their football team. I love the Spartans.
Starting point is 00:16:36 I don't even want to pull for them anymore. The shit that goes on on this campus is just, ugh. And here's their latest. And this campus is just, ugh. And here's their latest. Michigan State University lists, in quotes, acceptable names for Chinese virus. I kill you. I kill you right now.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Talk to me in the face. Talk to you in the face? Not unless you have a mask on. here talk to me in the face talk to you in the face not unless you have a mask on michigan state university is advising its students use only acceptable listen to this fucking shit terminology when speaking out about the chinese virus insisting that the wuhan coronavirus which cnn used which nbc used which msnbc used which every fucking liberal outlet used when it first came out. They called it the Chinese virus. We went over this. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:31 insisting that the Wuhan coronavirus must be referred to as the novel coronavirus or COVID-19. It must be or what? Or what? If I'm a fucking, wake up Michigan State students, fucking say or what? What are you going to wake up Michigan State students fucking say or what?
Starting point is 00:17:47 What are you going to do? Kick me out of school? The fuck are you doing? It's right out of the communist playbook. Oh, it fucking infuriates me. You listening? Yeah. Your mother sucks
Starting point is 00:18:00 fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? That goes to the guy who came up with this. The school is also encouraging all students, listen to this, Raz, to sign a pledge entitled, Hate has no home here. The key word is hate. Because in their minds, if you disagree with anything with them politically, it's considered hate.
Starting point is 00:18:22 So eventually you'll have three words you can say on campus. Hate has no home. Hate has a fucking home here. I'll build you a fucking extra wing on my house. I'm inviting all the hate to my house. We'll have dinner and drinks and laugh about it. Fucking Michigan State. You need to shut the fuck up. Hate has no home here. In a campus-wide email sent to staff, faculty, and students, MSU is recommending that people refer to the Wuhan coronavirus as SARS, either coronavirus, SARS, COVID--2 or COVID-19. Who the fuck are you? Fuck you! Fuck you!
Starting point is 00:19:09 Fuck you! Use the correct term for the virus, insists the university in its email. No other names are acceptable. And again, I say, who the fuck are you? Who are, the First Amendment doesn't even exist on this campus and pretty much any college campus. Hate doesn't exist.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Fucking what you're doing is hateful, in my opinion. All right. How about the Zip Ahead yellow fever virus? How's that sit with you? The slanty eyed fucking yellow fever poison. The fucking Wuhan fucking virus virus the egg roll epidemic the potsticker pandemic the school is also encouraging its campus community to sign msu's pledge entitled hate has no home here here's Here's the pledge, Raz,
Starting point is 00:20:06 and my people at home who I love. I will work to make sure, and then in capital letters, hate has no home here at MSU. I pledge to do my part in creating and sustaining a welcoming and inclusive environment at MSU,
Starting point is 00:20:20 as long as it doesn't include white people. I pledge to not commit acts of hate. I pledge to be an active bystander and to prevent and address incidents of hate and bias. Oh my God. In Michigan State's email, the Michigan State University's email, the university also recommends students stand up
Starting point is 00:20:42 to racist and dog whistle speech that they hear others engaging on campus, as well as stand up to racist and dog whistle speech that they hear others engaging on campus, as well as stand up against the denigration of anyone in our Asian Pacific Island Desamerican community, as the school insists that it is seeing a rise in anti-APIDA
Starting point is 00:20:58 racism. Fucking lies, lies, lies. This is communist. This is right out of the communist playbook, you know. Take a pledge. Next year, they'll make you sign it. They're telling you to rat out each other. If you hear somebody saying something that's hateful,
Starting point is 00:21:16 are you fucking dog styling me? Wake up, kids at MSU. Honestly. We have to fucking, we have to douche all academia of everybody who's teaching right now, the professors, the deans. They have to be douched. Somebody said this in an article, and I agree a thousand percent. That's a, that's actually a threat to our security, homeland security, the fucking college campuses. Because they've been spewing this shit for years.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Right. And you look at the kids now, the dummies who don't know anything about American history. All they have drilled into their head for the last 30 years, how evil this fucking country is. They know nothing about history. They don't they don't know how to do math, science. They barely get into college. That's all they are, is propaganda factories. Included in the email is a link in which students can report instances of hate that they hear on campus to school administrators. I would love to fucking just call that lying and go, yeah, I'm a white student. I'm a sophomore. I saw two black people saying the word cracker, so I want to report that think they'd do anything about it well they laugh in my face they go no this is a hate line and you're a white male you're the oppressor you this is to rat on you michigan
Starting point is 00:22:38 state university is not the only school attempting to conflate acknowledging where the chinese by the way it came from china uh where the chinese virus came from with hate and racism last week university of texas at austin the dean argued that the term chinese virus is inspiring hateful acts against asian american students uh on campus i don't fucking believe it for a second. Show me. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore. You know it. Don't just say it. Show me some acts. There's cameras everywhere. Show me the Asian people.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Just like after 9-11, remember? We kept getting warned that there's going to be a wave of violence against Muslims in this country. And I think one Sikh got shot. Also, the University of California recently told students that it's inappropriate for them to use the term Chinese virus. The school also released a set of guidelines which argue that the term projects hatred towards Asian
Starting point is 00:23:34 communities. How about that? April? Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Oh, yeah, that ship in New York, you know, that ship that's supposed to be for patients. Yeah. The thousand beds are filled with Asian kids who get beat up all over New York.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Ain't that right? Give that to fucking Anderson Cooper or Cooper Anderson or Kevin Bologna. What's his fucking name? Squash Swallow. He'd read it on air tonight. Hey, guys, the Nick DiPaolo Show has partnered up with theDonaldstuff.com. They have a bunch of shirts, mugs, hats, posters, both of exclusive Nick DiPaolo show gear and also some hilarious Trump-friendly stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:32 We got the towel. Oh, there's this shirt that I like, actually. It looks like I just got out of shock treatment. Wash your filthy asses, America towel. That's a beach towel. Bring that to the university michigan state university they'll have no problem with it because it implies americans have filthy asses they'll fucking love it uh that's pretty good looking towel wish i had one for my house i've been wiping my ass with coffee filters lately
Starting point is 00:25:02 goddamn toilet paper is like fucking cocaine you can't get it I've been wiping my ass with coffee filters lately. Goddamn toilet paper is like fucking cocaine. You can't get it. You can find all this stuff. They make some great stuff. TheDonaldStuff.com. And this is important. Please make sure to use the promo code Nick at the checkout to get 10% off your order. That applies to everything on the website.
Starting point is 00:25:25 All the mugs, and it says shits. I think they mean shirts. I haven't started selling my own shit yet. I'm not that famous. And hats. There's the aprons. I want to put that on with nothing on. I'm just going to be naked, put that on,
Starting point is 00:25:40 and stand on my porch in Savannah. Just fucking wave to people. The Lion King's already ordered 10 of these. And again, check out thedonaldstuff.com. The donaldstuff.com. Use the promo code Nick at the checkout. They keep adding new stuff every day, and we will keep sharing it with you guys. And we'll also put a link up on my website.
Starting point is 00:26:04 And we thank you guys and we'll also put a link up on my website and we uh thank you guys for supporting the show as i mentioned uh before as about this uh corona corona it's only attacking uh asian people now no uh it you know it goes after the lungs it's a respiratory thing right but you know what now they fucking realize again might be going after the heart you believe that shit that looks like a roast i made that looks like a boston butt pork shoulder all right enough of that oh that's me stop it while the focus of the covet 19 pandemic has been respiratory problems and securing enough ventilators. Doctors on the front lines are grappling with a new medical mystery. In addition to lung damage, COVID-19 patients are also developing heart problems.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Fucking heart problems. I love Corona. I heart Corona. And dying of cardiac arrest. As more data comes in from China and italy as well as a washington state and new york more cardiac experts are coming to believe the covet 19 virus can affect the heart muscle uh and an initial study found cardiac damage in as many as one in five patients that's kind of creepy leading to heart failure and death even among those who show no signs of a respiratory distress.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Bye bye. God damn. The question of whether the emerging heart problems are caused by the virus itself or a byproduct of the body's reaction to it has become one of the critical unknowns facing doctors as they raise to understand the novel. Can we quit calling it novel illness? For the love of fuck. Determining how the virus affects the heart is difficult in part
Starting point is 00:28:07 because most people don't have them. Oh, that was silly. Because severe illness alone can influence heart health. Someone who's dying from a bad pneumonia will ultimately die because the heart stopped. Well, you can say that about anything.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Gun shot to the fucking forehead will stop your heart. A nice set of tits on the beach will stop your heart. Who's with me? That's a good point. Ultimately because the heart stops. A professor of cardiology said at Northwestern, blah, blah, blah. And you can't get enough oxygen into your system and things go haywire. But Dr. Banal and many other cardiac specialists believe a COVID-19 infection
Starting point is 00:28:53 could lead to damage to the heart in four or five ways. Some patients, they say, might be affected more than one of those pathways. Doctors have long known that any serious medical event, I didn't know this, even something as straightforward as hip surgery can create enough stress to damage the heart.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Oh, I'm going to put that operation off. Fucking limping around after I do P90X like a 90-year-old woman. Moreover, a condition like pneumonia can cause widespread inflammation in the body.
Starting point is 00:29:24 That in turn can lead to plaque in arteries becoming unstable, causing heart attacks. Inflammation can also cause a condition known as myocarditis, which can lead to the weakening of the heart muscle and ultimately heart failure. But Banau said the damage observed, listen to this, in COVID-19 patients could be from the virus directly infecting the heart muscle. to this in COVID-19 patients could be from the virus directly infecting the heart muscle. Initial research suggests the coronavirus attaches to certain receptors in the lungs, and those same receptors are found in heart muscles as well. That's kind of fucking weird, isn't it? Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. Oh, shut up and listen. In March, doctors from China published two studies that gave the first glimpse at how prevalent cardiac problems were among patients with COVID-19. The larger of the two studies looked at 416 hospitalized patients.
Starting point is 00:30:11 The researchers found 19% showed signs of heart damage. And those who did were significantly more likely to die. 51% of those with heart damage died versus 4.5 percent who did not have it. But here's the creepy part. Patients who had heart disease before the coronavirus infections were much more likely to show heart damage afterward. But some patients with no previous heart disease also showed signs of cardiac damage. In fact, patients with no pre-existing heart conditions who incurred heart damage during their infection were more likely to die than patients with previous heart disease, but no COVID-19-induced cardiac damage. One thing I got is a strong ticker.
Starting point is 00:30:59 I did, you know, Sean T? You know, Sean T? Exercise, gay, blacker. You got to stay focused. You got to stay focused. You got to stay within yourself. Fucking guy cracked me up. I was doing his fucking, I was, you know, his online things for years.
Starting point is 00:31:16 And then I'm watching TV one night and all of a sudden a commercial comes on and he's got a fucking video out. It's him dancing with broads. Fucking purple dress shirt unbuttoned down in here. I went, okay, it seals that deal guess what i did the thing i'm in my house dancing i had to look out make sure my neighbors weren't in the fucking but uh great workouts man t beachbody.com i'm gonna give them a plug they're not a sponsor but i actually tony horton i had on my radio show, I interviewed him.
Starting point is 00:31:46 You guys, you know, if you're my age, I used to laugh at people who jumped around in their house. I go, fucking faggots, go to a gym. And then, you know, but it's killer. Fucking, I have a room
Starting point is 00:32:02 in my house, it's about 88 degrees because the sun hits it all day. I go in there just tying my sneakers to get ready. I'm fucking stripping in my eyes. Then I jumped around for 55 minutes yesterday. I'm so dehydrated I'm not going to poop until November. Fucking drank 10 Gatorades. I had a beer.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Haven't pissed yet. But I am shredded. You should see the fucking back muscles. I don't feel like doing this today. Anyways. So that's more fucking sobering news. What did we cover today? So some people think it might come back.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Doctors are saying, no, you probably get a false test. But they don't know that yet. So it could reactivate, right? And it doesn't screw up your lungs now. This is a nasty disease. And you motherfuckers that fried the first bat over in Wuhan in your fucking wet stores, your wet markets, that just sounds great.
Starting point is 00:33:00 I don't want, does that sound gross? I don't want to buy anything in a wet market. It's fucking gross. No, it's not gross. Try to cook a Spaniel. It's very good. I'll tell you who's got it bad. Our boy Boris Johnson. You know who he is, right? The Donald look-alike from england look at the mop on him what did he just pull up on a scooter that's actually the best picture i've ever seen him that's his healthy he's got those dead eyes over white serial killer fucking love this guy though he's sort of like uh he's uh england's trump anyways you guys know he's in intensive care he was rushed a monday evening right and uh it's getting pretty bad he asked the foreign secretary to stand in for him
Starting point is 00:33:52 that's uh kind of creepy you know he's probably not the healthiest guy anyways over the course of this afternoon this and this was yesterday, the condition of the prime minister has worsened. And on the advice of his medical team, he's been moved to intensive care unit at the hospital. Johnson was said to be conscious, but was moved to the ICU in case he needed to be placed on a ventilator. That is not good, my friends. that is not good, my friends. Johnson asked Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab to stand in for him while he remains in the ICU. President Trump wished Johnson well
Starting point is 00:34:33 and said the U.S. would help the U.K. as needed. I'll send you a hair comb and some gel and mink. He's been a staunch ally for Trump since Trump took over. This was a precautionary step. The prime minister continues to have persistent symptoms. He had a comfortable night in the hospital and is in good spirits. He continues to lead the government, Rob told reporters from 10 Downing Street in London.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Johnson's 55 years old. Jesus Christ, is anybody older than me? Fuck. Fuck, Raz. Guy's the fucking prime minister of England. He's younger than I am. What the fuck? It goes by so quickly, kids.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Oh, my God. Johnson, 55 years old, tested positive for COVID-19. He was admitted to the hospital on Sunday. He has been isolating after being diagnosed with the coronavirus 10 days ago. He's got a pregnant fiance, too. So he felt fine a couple days ago. I'm in good spirits. And then fucking right after that.
Starting point is 00:35:42 They're not getting too specific. But there was some headlines in the English papers saying he's fighting for his life and ICU is critical so I don't know what you know if he was a healthy guy or not I'm sure not eating bangers and mash I've ever food in England Reg you ever been England oh you have yes for the most part i'm sure there's some nice pubs you could have some lamb brains that are delicious i did have haggis and whiskey when i was there and scott haggis is what again what's haggis it's uh like intestines sheep yeah sheep
Starting point is 00:36:18 stomachs yeah haggis i'm gonna do i like to be a cop on TV My new show, Haggis Haggis and Bentley Haggis and Bentley What the fuck is my problem Yeah, I went over there I did the Manchester Comedy Festival years ago Right after 9-11, I got on a fucking plane Because I'll go anywhere to do comedy And Manchester Comedy Festival
Starting point is 00:36:42 And I remember ordering food You know At a place delivered to me. I think I ordered like chicken parm. The name of the place was like ISIS's hideout. You know, like, oh, my God. I don't, I'll eat anything, guys. I'll eat SpaghettiOs out of a can. I'm not a fussy eater.
Starting point is 00:37:02 I fucking, I, it's the first time i didn't finish something i took three by go fuck i mean i'll eat a dead cat if there's no maggots on it but this some pakistani trying to make chicken palm chasing a raccoon behind a dumpster with a shotgun you brought that up nice i do then i ate it i'm like oh god here's a guy i like i like when black dads lay it down the ones not not the ones the ones that are around and fucking love their kids what kind of statement was that? Now the kind you can make on this fucking show. Raz is like, what the fuck? I'm the best dad there is.
Starting point is 00:37:50 This guy, me and Raz had a good laugh at this fucker. Here's a guy that was tired. He's quarantined with his fucking kids. He was sick of yelling at them. Apparently the guy's better with technology than I am. Watch this. He set up a little soundboard to fucking tell his kids to. better with technology than I am. Watch this.
Starting point is 00:38:03 He set up a little soundboard to fucking tell his kids to... Look at his face. Hey! Hey! What's he saying? What's going saying? Rye, you speak black. What's going on there? What's going on there?
Starting point is 00:38:31 It's got an accent. You just had chips. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Did you wash your hands? It's not normal. It's like the Uganda president. I'll twist your balls off. I'll twist your balls off. Looks like he's got COVID. He can't fucking get up to yell at his fucking kid what was the one i couldn't understand in there i think it was a name probably daughter name i'm as mad as hell and i'm not gonna take this anymore here's another one he can add to it. You ain't getting shit for Christmas.
Starting point is 00:39:29 I did it too quick, but here's a Patreon question. All right. Drew. Drew. Sorry. Go ahead. Speaking of black dads. Drew W. Temple, Texas.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Hey, Nick, what is your favorite Rick Ross song? That's so fucking easy. Black and White. I'd like to sing it for you, but I can't because it has the N word in it. Every other word. And it's so far. It's such a good song. Snoop's my favorite.
Starting point is 00:40:00 I'm not a big hip hop guy. I love fucking Snoop because he actually has like This smooth voice And he's kind of funny and shit He hates white He doesn't make no doubt about it But Rick Ross If I could be any gangster rapper Rick Ross About fucking 400 pounds
Starting point is 00:40:13 No shirt on Tattooed saggy tits Fucking rings Giant cigar Black beard Pirate Did you make that question up Or did somebody ask that?
Starting point is 00:40:25 Oh, really? Yeah. Black, but he's selling wine. 20 grand a night if you can get it right. Sitting in a Benz in a white on white. Ready to go. Off the porch Catch me in the kitchen kilo
Starting point is 00:40:47 Hey bring the fork Trying to run it out These niggas living so high Running out of niggas And turning knockin' you down Bang Your window shattered Like it never matter
Starting point is 00:41:04 You're moving away Your pockets getting fatter It's politics I'm just reciting a great poet, Richard Ross. I call him Dick Ross. Can I sing that? Am I going to get in trouble? I don't know. On TV, I'm not talking about the N-word. It's the fucking, it's the lyrics. I'm just saying, is that copyright?
Starting point is 00:41:34 And they're going to go, hey, I don't think so. Because nobody can understand me. I sounded like Jimmy Durante while I was singing that. Back to Corona Corona. Oh, I also like, you know what? Yeah. You know, Rich is Gangster. Rich is Gangster. That's the other song I like by Rick Ross. Raz, who's your favorite rapper? I mean, you are an African-American fellow and.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I had to come back to it. I got like a top three. Top three? Well, it's not a career decision. Just pick one. Fuck. All right. Who's your top three? I can't think of a right.
Starting point is 00:42:17 You got me on the spot. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. It's Teva Radio. Guys, you know what it is? Raz don't even like rap. That's what it is. Kanye. Kanye even like rap. That's what it is. Kanye.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Kanye is my top. Kanye. You like Kanye? I do. I do, too. Terrific young Negro singer. Black people hate him because he liked Trump. Speaking of guys who hate Trump, Scott stringer new york official a top new york city
Starting point is 00:42:50 official scott stringer who recently lost his mother from complications after being infected with the coronavirus on monday slammed president trump's handling of the pandemic. Here he is. Be some virus. And it is still hard to get around that. But look, in New York City, this is playing out in so many families. And I got to tell you, you know, Donald Trump has blood on his hands and he has my mom's blood on his hands. And he sent us a hospital that's that's right here in the Manhattan Harbor. And no one can get on that hospital. This is something that is just outrageous. And so it's very tough to mourn under these circumstances.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Oh, for you. You can act like a man. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? It's Trump's fault that his mother's dead you fucking people in new york politically you're just fucking insane why do you blame your fucking governor cuomo why are you blaming trump cuomo yesterday actually acknowledged that trump was getting the job done when it came to new york he actually said it on the air. Okay?
Starting point is 00:44:08 They're just political power grabbing to the end. He's politicizing his mother's death. She died because Trump didn't act quick enough. What a fucking jerk off. That city needs a nice right wing Republican fucking governor, mayor. Just try it. As Trump said when he was running, what do you got to lose, New York?
Starting point is 00:44:32 Are you happy? Because I fucking, you know, I lived there and I loved it. It really is the fucking greatest city in the world. But, I mean, Jesus Christ. he says uh and of course you see uh anderson cooper is that his name i always want to call him cooper anderson uh he just sits there he doesn't push back well you really you should say do you really think that's fair you know he sent that boat with a thousand beds on it. And that was supposed to be for non-COVID patients because the hospitals, right, needed the beds for the COVID.
Starting point is 00:45:11 But you know what happened? Because there was nobody on the streets. Crime went down. People staying in the house. Everything went down. So nobody was getting shot, getting sick or whatever. And so the beds, they only had like 12 people on the big ship with no non-covid so they open it up to covid patients like i said even cuomo acknowledged they're doing the right thing at the federal level excuse me jesus christ uh yeah stringer told cnn trump failed to take action quickly and early and said the president wasted precious time with denials and lies about the crisis while more cases spread and more Americans got. He's so full of fucking shit. A week after he heard about it, he stopped all flights from China.
Starting point is 00:45:56 By the way, your mom was 86. Not saying, you know, I'm just saying. Not saying, you know, I'm just saying. Stringer announced last Friday his mother, Arlene Stringer Cuevas, died the morning at age 86 due to complications from the virus. She believed in government. That was her first mistake. Okay. And she raised us to believe in government. And there you go.
Starting point is 00:46:23 And there you have a quintessential New York politician. Government's there to save everybody government government government like reagan said government's not the solution it's the problem well well achoo achoo yeah she taught them to believe in government see that's your problem mr stringer for this strategy to happen is just so overwhelming sad for my family but it's a story and it's and i know it's playing out across the country stringer criticized how the hospital the comfort u.s
Starting point is 00:47:02 comfort has been used whatever but he sent us the hospital right here manhattan no one can get on that hospital not true actually in this article they actually defend trump a little bit for christ's sake all the stuff he's done in addition to dispatching the ship last week trump approved cuomo's request to turn the javits center into corona's Virus Treatment Center. Early in March, a president outlined a federal government's plan to fund a U.S. National Guard unit in the state to help with its response to the pandemic. Like I said, even yesterday, Cuomo acknowledged Trump's been pretty good. So, Mr. Stringer, just a little advice. Don't rely on government like you have been your whole life.
Starting point is 00:47:45 You are part of the government. But why are you blaming Trump? Call your governor. Oh, that's right. He's a liberal Democrat just like you. And you guys, lockstep. You can't break party. Fucking tiring.
Starting point is 00:48:01 I want to thank people who are contributing to this show. As you know, we are now recently gone free, Monday through Thursday, which means we rely on contributions from you, which you can make at nickdip.com. We really appreciate it. You guys have been great since all this started. I
Starting point is 00:48:18 understand. I don't know what your work situation is, too. People are out of work. A lot of people, but do what you can. We're here to entertain you. You need a place to cut loose or watch somebody cut loose. That's what we do here. Go to nickdip.com.
Starting point is 00:48:35 I want to thank these contributors from yesterday. Ricky Melton, Ohio. Robert Curley, New York. Michael Nall, Florida. Zach Vandervoort, Pennsylvania. Chris Brown, Canada, Eugene Montessi, Connecticut, Liam Toole, New York, Herman Wood, California, Mark Pinter, Minnesota, Robert McDonald, Canada, Jeff Carter, Ohio. You can also be a monthly supporter by signing up at Patreon dot com. And if you do that, you get an extra story every day. You get to ask me a question and you get access to our archives.
Starting point is 00:49:14 The new monthly supporters. I want to thank Joe Wooden, Daniel Mishral, Mike Fornitore or fornitor and uh mclard shoe 510 mick mclard huge what does that mean but thank you guys for again and if you have a person if you have a business um that hasn't been shuttered yet and you want to be a sponsor on the show, go to Nick DiPaolo, nickdip.com, and we can talk about that too.
Starting point is 00:49:53 That would be great. You guys are keeping us on the air. This one cracked me the fuck up. Oh, is it hot in here? This cracked me up. NBC, they're my favorite nbc's washington affiliate uh removed a tweet on monday that described virginia governor ralph northam remember him known for a couple things one of them was having blackface on in his college yearbook remember
Starting point is 00:50:21 michael jackson dance contest and they didn't know if it was him with blackface or him in the clan outfit but you remember right anyways washington affiliate removed the twitter money that described governor northam putting on his own blackface mask in a striking moment governor ral Ralph Northam put on his own, it says backface, blackface mask. He urged every Virginian to do the same, wrote NBC Washington on its official Twitter account. It's not even, first of all, it's green, okay? So somebody, maybe I should give NBCc credit somebody doesn't like this guy he got a pass for wearing blackface because he's a fucking democrat he also kills nine
Starting point is 00:51:11 month old babies okay that's why they let him stay they thought he was a racist and they said well he kills nine month old oh well fuck it he didn't say that we'll leave him in office but obviously even he would know not to put on a black oh yeah yeah the tweet came under some ridicule online with many saying it recalled northam's 2019 blackface controversy which led to calls uh for his resignation hey where are the white women at upon closer examination the governor's face mask appears to be dark green yeah no shit reactions to the since deleted tweets from nbc washington quickly came pouring in on social media the station apologized on twitter calling the tweet a misjudgment yeah right uh correction we made a misjudgment in a tweet about governor northam's face mask we sincerely apologize for the error it reads I think that's a slander against green people
Starting point is 00:52:08 Ah, fuck it How long we at, Rich? Rage Raz I just called you Rage Ah, let's do one more uh let's do one more man shot five people for talking too loud during a coronavirus lockdown investigators say a man has been arrested in russia on suspicion of shooting and killing five people after asking
Starting point is 00:52:38 him not to be so loud during the country's coronavirus lockdown oh my god the man was arrested over the weekend after having an argument with neighbors while standing on the balcony of his apartment uh the alleged incident took place in the village of yeah yelatma in the ryazan region of western russia police officers arrived at the scene promptly a president a resident of that building, born in 1988, another guy younger than me, was detained by police. Excuse me. Police officers near the building where five bodies were found. According to preliminary data, those were four men and one woman standing on the balcony of his apartment. The man allegedly asked a group of four young men and a girl flocking into the house not to be that loud. After a verbal exchange, the man is alleged to have taken his license gun and shot at them.
Starting point is 00:53:34 All five died instantly. What the fuck? Watch out because I'm... A spokesman for Kasmanov District told the man confessed to the incident during his interrogation, saying he acted in self-defense. Yeah, I was in self-defense. You're on a balcony with a rifle. They're unarmed, but it was self-defense. Their words were hurting me. But it was self-defense. Their words were hurting me. Anyways, Russia has recorded 6,300 coronavirus cases and 47 deaths. You can triple each one of those numbers if you want.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I think you'd be safe, too. So it's driving people nuts, though. You know, fucking domestic violence is up. At least that's what they're telling you. Child abuse is up. what does that tell you we gotta get out of the house you gotta get out huh you know what i'm saying come on you get on the dating app order some whores i bet you they're still nothing can talk nothing can take hookers off the street that is it folks it's 112 degrees in here i don't know fucking i'm gonna have to get the room to 64
Starting point is 00:54:46 before we do this show or i have corona it's reactivated uh that is it ladies and gentlemen uh again if you want to uh contribute to the show financially go to nickdip.com or sign up at patreon.com become a monthly a monthly subscriber, if you have a business and you'd like to sponsor this show, we really could use it. We appreciate your support. Cameo.com, if you want me to roast one of your friends, you go to Cameo.com. Tell me what his name is, a little bit about him or her. I will make a personal video and drop it on my phone to them and torture them. We'll make them laugh.
Starting point is 00:55:24 You guys think it it i will say it you're very welcome see you back here tomorrow stay safe everybody guitar solo guitar solo

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.