The Nick DiPaolo Show - Iran Cries Uncle…Maybe? | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1753

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about Prison Pete, ICE Doubling Down, Gay/Black Jesus, Iran Crying Uncle, The College World Series and “Foodie” Calls! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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with iGaming Ontario. There we go. Just trying to get the teleprompter going and now it won't stop. Hi folks. Yeah, exactly. Fuck it, we'll do it live. Well, we do it live. That used to be a joke, now it's true. How are you kids?

What it was and what it is and what it never be up in this big headline here. I don't know what's going on. Trump had to run home from Canada. He was at the G7 summit last night and he goes, now I got to get out of bigger things. It was almost like a quote. And then I look at the headline this morning. I mean he told people last night to get the hell out of Tehran. I don't know what American would be over there or who, why you're there unless you're not.

If you don't have a gray beard down to your nuts and love Mohammed, you have no business being over there. Sheepish crow. Watch your language, Nick. The headline here in the post this morning, a few minutes ago, Brised for impact, Israeli ambassador warns of surprises up our sleeves in fight against Iran in line with Trump's ominous warning. Expect a surprise later this week, told merit TV on Monday. Oh, my God. What does that mean folks? I mean Trump was on a plane last night, I

didn't get the clips of this because it was like one in the morning, I couldn't sleep and I you know. But he's on the plane doorway talking to reporters like he always does. And they're like well what do you want to see? You want to see a ceasefire? He goes no I don't want a ceasefire. I want this to end. We want an ending to this, something like that, he said. Not a cease fire. And so I don't know. And like I said, he had to bolt the G summit. And he told people to get out of Tehran.

I'm guessing, like, you know, Bibi said, look, it's on, man. We're turning this place into a part. They whacked another guy last night, a high up military guy. I don't know how many they have over there. But apparently, the Mossad have all their addresses and their phone numbers where their kids go to school. Trump spars with Kaitlin Collins, lashes out at CNN fake news over Israel-Iran conflict. Trump demands complete give up.

He means surrender by Iran. He looked tired. For the first time in my life, I noticed he was tired. He's in the doorway and he looked tired and kind of cranky and he was good. He still kept his, you know, demands complete give up of Iran as Israel takes out Tehran's most senior military commander. Trump denies McCr- whatever. Anyways, so put on your helmets.

I don't know what's coming. You don't know what's coming. Tell you one thing, Trump's usually a man of his word. But like I said, it's the Israelis probably saying, look, we're doing this. How do you want to play this? big fight going on right now amongst the right and Republicans and whatever the fuck

Before I get to that Don't forget to tune in I rolled the thing past the whatever We've got a brand new lineup here rumble from 9 a.m To 6 p.m Live line it starts with you can see louder with Crowder Tim Poole Vince in the crucible with Andrew Wilson who sends his guy leads into our show thank you I have to say that every day for the next 10 years enough Andy heads up I'll be in the studio So live with crowded tomorrow and Thursday. So we streamed yesterday and we're streaming today and then you'll catch me on his show

Wednesday and Thursday. You can't, I mean come on. I can't be in two places. Today I'm going to be talking about all kinds of caca and pooh-pooh, some pee-pee, Tim with the weather. More violence from the left in Manhattan at a courthouse. Even for New York was kind of shocking. Trump is going after illegals.

He said, I'm coming to the sanctuary cities. Enough of this. We're going to New York, Chicago, LA. We get Colbert showing what a bitch he is. It's not even related to all the current stuff, but it just struck me as so him interviewing some gay black woman who's playing John Wayne. I don't know what she's playing. Oh, she's playing Jesus. Wow. How did I forget that? That's how little it meant to me. But Kobe is whacking, you know, whacking. Oh my God.

White crowd stands up and applauds. nobody knows who the fuck she is. You guys are stuck in a time warp, you have your own little thing, you look so silly, Colbert, Kimmel, you look silly. It's obviously, you've been hired by the government, you're a mouthpiece for the Democrat Party and whatever ails this country, and you're doing it under the guise of being entertainers it's really embarrassing it's it we can see right through it that

she'll come out later when you're done red sox went up to Seattle last night who's very good this year Seattle and the Sox won their sixth in a row this is after dumping Devers I talked about that yesterday I'm all fucked up man I'm still in shock but they went up there without Devers on the plane and shot out a very good team and Lu G Alito a pitcher who he had two years ago but he's been hurt hurt he's finally healthy man he looked tremendous the pitching is to the last two weeks has been they could win there last night they're actually in a playoff spot. They went from being ten and a half down a week and a half ago to the Yankees. Now they're five, five behind, five and a half behind. Whacked

that many off the thing and good things are going and then they dump our greatest hitter, so still we'll see how that didn't affect them last night. you people give a shit but I'm just saying and of course my boy Roman Anthony hits his first ding-donger and there's gonna be a lot more to come every time he hits the ball if it's a foul ball or you can it's like Barry but it sounds different and he's not a big steroid my is a tall 21 year old Italian kid. And very exciting. I know you people are just eating it up. And what the fuck?

Anything else? I got a feeling while we're doing this. Anyways, who knows what's going to happen. Hmm. Let's move on to the first story, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy prison, Pete. Well, who's Pete, Nick? Well, he's a former Coast Guard lieutenant. He was recently arrested, for what, Nick? For allegedly making threats to kill President Donald Trump.

Get in line, Trump said. No, he didn't. I said that. Didn't I say that? I did. It's freedom, baby, yeah! Yeah. You're shiny. The suspect Virginia resident I don't want to eat Virginia. They ought to go to door to door and frisk everybody.

Peter Stenson served as an officer on the US Coast Guard from 1988 to 2021. I wonder how you pulled that off Pete like you were pro-American all those years or maybe you flipped later on. He looks like the guy, I'll tell you what he looks like, he looks like the doctor that used to, the psychoanalyst that used to work with Michael Myers in Halloween. I love that actor. He was so good, I mean over the top, but good. I've seen his eyes. You don't know what's behind them. I've worked with him for years. Never have I seen it. Anyways, he was in the Coast Guard pulling people's pricks from 88 to 21. He was a sharp

shooter. Not a guy you want fucking wanting to kill you. Sharpshoot as well as a FEMA instructor during that time. Because a lot of times gunplay breaks out when you're building a shed. In one instance Stinson reportedly wrote that Trump needed to be Luigi'd. With the emphasis on L. On May 9th he said that. He was referencing Luigi Mangione, you know, the trumpet player who that hit. I can't even, it was a theme song. That's Chuck Mangione. Luigi Mangione is the guy who was accused of killing, you know. I like how we still have to say accused and alleged when we have them on on fucking video doing it. That's why this country's alive. That's why you don't believe in the legal system. It's kind of silly

Iran has it right sometimes when it comes to shit like this, you know, I mean, it's gonna be a happy medium I've used it. I had a bit about this. I can't remember it fucking years ago, but it's gonna be a happy medium between you know You got a guy shooting somebody on film Video whatever you want to call it gonna be happy meeting between I't know, a 10-year process to find him guilty or just hanging him five minutes in downtown. There's got to be a little, I lean towards Iran with that. A little severe, yes, but whatever. Got you on video, pal.

And let's say it's a life in prison. Let's say it's a death thing. If you're caught on video, it's a death thing. I don't care what state. I just made that shit up but Biden did anyways yeah that was the guy that killed Brian Thompson last year and the more I deal my insurance company the less sympathy I'm feeling not to be an asshole but they are fucking gangsters to the hill Stinson allegedly made graphic threats

against Trump involving guns poisoning poisoning, even knives. What's he friends with? Wolfgang Puck? How you gonna... On multiple social media platforms. He's saying all kinds of shit about my boy Trump. Shut up! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut up! Shut up! Stinson also allegedly referenced not having the necessary skills, that's in quotes, to successfully complete an assassination. That's what he's kind of chicken.

But then he also eerily suggested that he wasn't being entirely truthful. I don't know how you go from serving your country in the military to this, you know? I'm sure there's a lot of libs going, what do you mean? A king, he thinks he The document also alleges that Stinson made several references to 8647 remember that? Comey walked on the beach with his pig wife. Excuse me, Mrs. Comey. He probably anyways fuck you you married a jerk And he found that shell formation 8647 of course he had to put it online

He found that shell formation 86 47 of course he had to put it online Like he didn't know that was gonna stir up some shit Anyways, which government officials say is likely in reference to the Instagram post Made by former FBI director jerk off call me on February 2nd stinson allegedly Posted on his ex account. How can it be allegedly? It's in writing your mother. Well, somebody else could have hacked it. Alright, maybe. It's on his ex account. Sure this is war. Sides will be drawn.

Antifa always wins in the end. I don't know what movies you've been watching. Every time they wander into a town that has rednecks in it, they fucking get their face kicked in and they run the other way. Wake up, stupid. You inhaled too much fucking salt there. Antifa always wins in the end. Violence is inherently necessary. Well we'll find out. Like you don't think the right feels that way if you push the right to... Well look at Israel. Yeah it's inherently necessary when we have Marxist living

amongst us like you, you bearded fuckface. Excuse my French out there, conservatives, but again, grow up. It's language. It's words. The most recent post referenced in the document was published on Blue Sky. That's the left- you know Twitter remember they used

to control Twitter now they they had to skedaddle because something very ugly and filtered Twitter called the truth and Elon Musk and free speech so they had to run like the bitches they had stuck their own blue sky on June 11th that's what yeah that's what hippies name their daughters this is blue sky a fucking whatever you know Beyonce hey he, uh, Beyonce here's blue Good name stupid. When did it come up with it when she's choking on a pork rib? Okay, when stinson allegedly wrote when he dies the party is going to be huge, you know you g e thought he's been very funny about by dickhead yeah enjoy your fucking time in prison girl leo

former coast guard guy you know the airports on the eighteen minutes wait i'm still fucking gotta pit my stomach guys i don't have it easier than you can have it as far as a commute to the airport and and literally i told you Condé NAS Whatever that magazine is they voted Savannah Airport the best air number one airport in the country last year

and On a day like today. I'll walk in I Keep telling this story but after living in New York City and Living 35 miles north of the city for a few years and having to commute from there to LaGuardia or Kennedy, which it's your worst nightmare. You gotta leave a day early hoping you make your flight. This is last, today, this is how it usually goes on a Tuesday.

I'll park my car like in the farthest garage away because Savannah's growing and the indoor garage is a full now. So I park in this lot, it's called the spillover, and I'll walk all the way from there into the airport up the escalator and to friggin' you know what, security. Nobody last time on a Tuesday. All the way from my car to security there was nobody in front of me I get there and I'm I go what?

even a guy in the booth was like laughing I go I know this place all the way it's a quarter mile walk maybe nobody in front of me and the other thing I always fly out of the same gate here, American to Dallas, it's right across, the bar is right in front of gate 8. This town, it's like a shamrock up my ass. I say that and you'll see me tomorrow amongst charred remains. You'll find me a seat. I'm gonna try to get a lemonade. I'll be sitting on a lady's lap. I don't give a shit. You'll find me like, you'll find a charred body with me on my iPad looking at porn. Oh, God help us. Let's move on to some, uh, some, uh, what I call a courthouse craziness. And again, like I said,

even for New York in today's world, this sort of stuck out as the violence was a bit shocking, but it is a sanctuary city by the way, which Trump came out yesterday and said, we're going to those places and we're going out and people are upset about it. We are doomed as a species if everybody can't agree I really feel that way even if Trump gets the job done You fucking people on the left have swallowed a hook line and sink of the last 50 years all this shit Shocking footage captures the I digress shocking footage captures the moment a knife-wielding maniac

lunged at officers inside a Manhattan courthouse Monday, slashing two in the neck and face. That's right, the neck and the face. Cray's suspect identified as Jonathan Wall, W-O-H-L. He's got that I hate white people haircut and his beads from a tribe back in the Bungalongo days. 37 of queens is seen calmly approaching the metal detectors in Manhattan Criminal Court around 9.30 a.m. but then suddenly pounces on a court officer. The first part of the video, there's graphics over it of course, but he's got a knife and you can see him clearly stabbing the shit out of this guy. Check this out. There he is, pretending. He didn't even have an appointment there. And I guess he habitually

harasses these guys, even when he's not even scheduled for a court hearing there he is on a there he goes now why they blah blah blah anyways look it there you go they clear it up for the stabbing oh they didn't they they pixelated the stabbing. Why could I see it last? What the fuck? Anyways, he grabs a guy, you can see him. With a knife, got him, I don't know how many times. Luckily he survived, because all these guys jumped in, right? There's something wrong with the black man's mind.

There's something wrong with his mind. Oh, don't say stuff like that. Everybody does it. Law enforcement sources said the accused assailant there's some wrong with it now don't say stuff like that everybody does it law enforcement sources said the accused assailant did not have a scheduled hearing at the one hundred center street courthouse and a model for the assault is not known or let me fill that part in for you get dump box they're wearing cop uniforms

he's an eighteen-time convicted scumbag who hates anybody with a bad. I had a gun or security How about that and he's been in this building probably a hundred times? wall has 18 prior arrests I'll repeat that 18 prior arrests and he's still yeah walking around. I don't know California believe it or not had at one point. I'm sure it's gone now, but they had something called three strikes and you're out. That means you had two, I think it was felonies, I'm not even sure, might not have been felonies, but if the third

one was you stealing a piece of bubble gum, you go into prison the rest of your life. But God forbid we had something like that in all states. How many, you know, I mean, that's how I know the legal system's just made for lawyers to make money and shit. Wall has 18 prior arrests with three open criminal cases and has been a nuisance at the courthouse, in quotes, always harassing the court officers. You're crazy! I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck. officers. The engine officers were hospitalized and are in stable condition. So that's why you got to give your hats off to cops and first responders and even guys that work in the courthouse security. You don't know. You're around filthy, dangerous people, especially

if you live in shitholes like l a chicago in new york which aren't shitholes when a republicans running on by the way i friggin loved new york when i was there but i get out of time course i was there for the beginning juliani not the whole time but yeah i got there actually it was uh... dav Dinkins, the black dude before Giuliani, and the place was a shit hole, I've told this story before. I went out to LA for a year, came back to New York,

I didn't recognize, Giuliani had won. I was out there for a year or two, I can't remember. I come back and there's no more squeegee man. You couldn't go a block without like three squeegees. If you were in a car, they'd throw dirty water on your windshield and fuck it, they didn't want money. And it was garbage, it was stacked everywhere. I go to LA for a little while, come back,

I go what the fuck? This first time I realized politicians can make a difference. Yeah, Giuliani did that. So it is possible, New York. But you keep voting for people like Bragg, and I'll say it again, I don't think you vote for them, I think those people are placed there under the guise of an election. You know, Nick, how do you know that? Well, they stole a federal presidential election, that's how I fucking know, and if you argue that point too, you can go suck a bag of cheese I cleaned it up for the people that like you know anyways let's move on to Trump going after illegals in sanctuary city of course this sends the left in a tizzy what you know it's like

getting mad because the bank robber goes with the money is remember that guy why do you rob bank well who was it he was a famous guy not Dillinger was it why do you rob banks because that's what a it? He was a famous guy. Not Dillinger, was it? Why do you rob banks? Because that's what a money is. Boy, do I love logic like that. Hit a lefty with that, and they shit their pants. Why are you going to sanctuary cities? Because that's where illegals are.

Yeah, but they're not illegal. Well, I mean, they came in. The country illegally, but that, but what? But what? Words either mean something of a don't but face tried doing that in mexico you go to mexico and sneak in or russia anywhere else see what happens jesus christ your parents must have sucked you lefties

you've really they they fucking sold you a a a bush alicia in a fantasy world there's no reason. And the whole, anybody who votes Democrat, they believe that shit. We should have open board, everybody, because their big wet dream is that utopian society where we all hold hands and shit.

Have you not studied human nature and the human species and how flawed and retarded it is? That's why it doesn't work. Get out of your wet dream, you fuckheads. Hello, I'm Sean Hannity. I support this message without the cursing. Our nation's ICE officers have shown incredible strength, determination, and courage as they facilitate. This is Trump's thing on truth social. As they facilitate a very important mission, the largest mass deportation operation of illegal aliens in history. Every day the brave men and women of ICE are subjected to violence, harassment, even threats

from radical Democrat politicians, but nothing will stop us from executing our mission and fulfilling our mandate. I'm surprised that word's still allowed. I know. Shouldn't it be a person date? How about a date with a trans? Trans date. To the American people.

ICE offices are here with, ordered by notice of this truth, capital letters, to do all in their power to achieve the very important goal of delivering the single largest mass deportation program in history. Yes, sir. In order to achieve this, we must expand efforts to detain, I wish I could do Trump, it would be much more exciting,

and deport illegal aliens in America's largest cities such as Los Angeles Chicago New York where millions upon millions of illegal aliens reside yeah but they're just here to pick our peaches and our straw there's no strawberries and peaches in New York fuck you talking about yeah but they're just here to pick our peaches and our straw. There's no strawberries and peaches in New York Fuck you talking about yeah, but they wash this we have machines that do that now. Yeah, but they what? You said they didn't do Americans people's jobs. So why are you saying that they wash the dishes picking fruit? Oh I see they are

hmm Oh, I see. They are. Hmm. These and other such cities are the core of the Democrat power center where they use illegal aliens to expand their voter base. Biden never won an election. I'll say it again. I know I'm preaching to the choir here. He never won. He never won. He got his ass handed to him big time, bigly. And don't forget it. And that was their whole big wet plan too, to get enough illegals. He let 21 million in, and they all reside in cities

like this, so they would fucking, right? When these giant, you know, New York, California with 98 seats, electoral seats or whatever. That was their wet dream, but then Trump showed up. Thank Christ, and I do thank Christ. Christ, thanks. You're welcome. To expand their voter base, cheat in elections

and grow the welfare state. How can you argue with any of that? We're not arguing, that's good stuff. Robbing good people pay robbing good paying jobs and benefits from hard work and American citizens and again you've been told that's bullshit bullshit bullshit again till Trump showed up and proved them wrong you really think you can have zillions of people come in and and kids pour into schools that don't know English and shit and it's not gonna

cost us much it takes it but for every dollar that they put into it illegals and their families and shit they take four out I've read that from both left and right publications you can't hide math I tried to in college I had all the answers right here God damn teach teacher, they don't take their eyes off me. Let's see if you've been known to cheat. Mr. DePaulo, what do you got there? Looking at the AFC East, standing. These radical left Democrats, this is Trump talking by the way, this is all his statement on true social, they're sick of mind, which is better than top of mind. Boy we miss her. I wonder how that book selling that she wrote in crayon with a

scratch and sniff fucking Raggedy Andy doll. Blackity Ann. These radical left Democrats are sick of mind, hate our country and actually want to destroy our inner cities. That's been true for about 60 years and they're doing a good job of it he said there's something wrong with him that is why they believe in open borders this is Trump still time must have been doing a little bit he says he doesn't might have hit the and I mean open borders transgender transgender for everybody and men playing in women's sports they believe in all that and that is why I want ICE, Border Patrol and our great and patriotic law enforcement officers to focus, that's in capital letters, on our crime-ridden and deadly inner cities and those

places where sanctuary cities play such a big role. You don't hear about sanctuary cities in our heartland, do you, he says? You are correct, correct sir I want our brave ICE officers to know that real Americans are cheering you on every day the American people want our city schools and communities to be safe and free from illegal alien crime conflict and chaos can't you just hear the left reading that what does that mean illegal alien crime don't you know that the citizens create more crime than the illegals? Well, yeah, there's zillions more Americans. There's something called percentages. Ever tried percentages? I know they're a little tough for you retards.

That's why I have directed my entire administration to put every resource possible behind this effort and reverse the tide of mass destruction migration that's turned once idyllic towns into scenes of third world dystopia. All right, I love Trump to death, but he didn't write that. He doesn't use words like that. He reads them beautifully. Guy's a master on the teleprompter. He reads them beautifully guys a master on the teleprompter But man those sound like I always my mind always and I'm not taking anything away from Trump Somebody probably transcribed it from whatever in a stenographer

But I gotta believe Steve Bannon was a stenographer. I Don't know a federal government well what they're saying, that's what he's saying. Our federal government will continue to be focused on the remigration, it is a word, we have a, the remigration of aliens to the places where they came from. You know, we've been yelling that for years on the right, go back to where you came from, right? Course it would be, you know, racists yelling that shit at black. Now black people are yelling at it fucking Mexicans and Colombians. Yo man, get back to your crib, enter.

Of airlines to places from where they came from and preventing the admission of anyone who undermines the domestic tranquility of the United States. Then he said, finally, I hope, I'm losing my voice. Excuse me. To ICE, FBI, DEA, ATF, the Patriots at the Pentagon, and the State Department, you have my unwavering support.

Now go get the job done. DJAT, he says. Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go let's go! Why is everything so quiet? These are off the low today. What did I do now? What'd I do?

Fuck it. I'm sitting in 1C too. Got nothing to beef about. First on the plane, first on the plane, first on the island. You know what it is? And I've told you, it's the netwits when you show up to the airport. You get that wave of, oh, this is why I hate it. Screaming babies, people talking too loud on phones, people farting while you're waiting to take off. Those are first world problems. Ah, shut up.

Our father who far. Let's move on to the king of virtue. Oh, yeah. Good time to do this. Tour dates, ladies and gentlemen. You don't know me as a comedian, you should. It's what I do best. July 12th, hyenas in Dallas, Texas.

The next night on the 13th, the secret group in Houston, Texas. And then in August, the eighth or the ninth at my old stomping ground, side splitters in Tampa, Florida. And then September 19th and 20th, wise guys, Salt Lake City, Utah. I love that, it's a pretty city, man.

October 3rd, Arlington Dlington draft house Arlington, Virginia October 16th Zanies Nashville, Tennessee That's enough okay, if you want to support the show go to nickdip.com go to the merchandise page and Buy hats and hoodies and all kinds of crack pipes and meth stuff things and ashtrays Ashtrays any bad idea Okay for the kids Discover the magic of Bad MGM Casino where the excitement is always on deck! Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer! From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you're actually at the casino

The excitement doesn't stop there with over 3,000 games to choose from including fan favorites like cash eruption UFC gold blitz and more make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win Download the bet MGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out Visit bet MGM com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for your charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Let's move on. This is a little out of what we've been talking about, but not because this guy, Colbert, you know, when I was on Tough Crowd, he was on the Daily Show. The show was kind of rivals a little bit. We actually had Colbert on Tough Crowd, I think. I didn't know he was such an evil fuck. Kind of hit it back then. Not saying he's

not a smart guy or whatever, untalented and shit, but what he chose to use it for is just really disgusting. You watch his show, I forgot to tell you, like last week I'm flipping through late night and I stopped on Seth Meyers and he's doing a list of like Talking points about Trump that was supposed to be funny still doing it. How fucking you shameless The guy has made an asshole out of you from day one since he came down the escalator by the way, which was ten years ago yesterday Ten years ago on the money And by the way, he came down he didn't fall down the escalator check

already a better president. But the king of virtue signaling is at it again, is what I headline this. CBS's Stephen Colbert praised actress, I can't even say it, Cynthia Erivo. There she is, E.T. in a tux. Why are your legs so shiny? Jesus Christ.

For playing the lead role of who? Did she play Harriet Tubman? No, did she play, I don't know, Diane Carroll? No, did she play Diana Ross? No, she played Jesus, of course. That's right, lesbian, she played Jesus, of course. That's right. Lesbian black woman played Jesus in the upcoming Hollywood Bowl production of Jesus Christ Superstar, which was a great play in the seventies. We had the album. It was a huge selling album, great music on it and stuff.

But now, you know, we have to blacken everything everything and I think they call it appropriation if we did it the other way around but again there's Kobe staring at the ETS eyes they called and they call the casting of her being of a black gay woman finally playing Jesus Kobe I said it was long overdue of course you know oh it's so cogsucker oh it's so phony are people still watching this are you still watching this are there people still watching jimmy camel i see the live

audience and i didn't well i'm gonna play the clip in a second when she came out she got an ovation i mean standing ovation like she did something courageous like she saved the baby in a fire You know, I mean she shot a terrorist breaking into sevea I mean they went nuts the kind of applause that used to be saved for you know, Neil Armstrong in a ticker-tape parade buzz Aldrin

Thomas Edison they have parades in 1100 But but they went nuts and it's so, all I see is this, look at us, we like a gay black. That's what I see. Nobody gives a fuck, nobody knows her. You would have thought she was Jesus. No pun intended. But here's some of the interview and if you got a puke bucket get it out now. And I'm so excited that in August you're going to be playing Jesus. That's right.

In Jesus Christ. Pause. Are you really excited? See, when you heard that, did you whack off in the front yard? What did you do? Did you jump up and down like the bitch that you are?

Seriously, are you excited? These words just spill out. You think everybody that led him in a Leno or and these guys are Johnny Carr for years, you think they were really excited about every guess what they were up to what they were doing? Although this guy's so left-wing and so retarded probably he thinks this is somehow...to me it's...when I see shit like this now it's so passe.

It's like we've moved on from this shit You know should be paying it playing Jesus a Jewish guy Gary Goldman One of my favorite comics of all time from my area long-haired Gary Goldman Jewish Handsome guy he'd make a great Jesus. He could be up on the cross doing five minutes and kill it The other guys on a cross just bail it belly. Make them forget all about those spikes in their feet. Anyways, here's the interview that made me crap blood. At the Hollywood Bowl, right? My shoulder pads, who are you fuckin' Shidors Sanders?

First one to play Jesus in a major production, long overdue. Oh yuck, everybody's been clamoring for that. And what does that mean to you? It just means a lot to me. Oh, it means a lot to her. What the hell is that? Her head looks like a skull you'd find

if you're digging in Egypt. She's wearing Captain Crunch suit. I don't know what the, ay, ay, ay. Earlier this month, Areva mocked critics who accused her on the musical of blasphemy over a female being cast as Jesus in Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's upcoming rock opera. Hopefully they will come and realize she said, oh, it's a music, I don't mind this statement. She goes, oh, she's, she's, this statement comes, she's criticizing the people criticizing the play. She goes, oh, they, hopefully they'll realize, oh, it's a musical, the gayest place on earth. You can't argue with that unless you're in Liberace shoe closet. The Harriet Act resquipped to billboard dismissing the mockery of Jesus Christ in Christianity.

A move, and this is a good point by the writer, a move the entertainment industry knows better than to make when it comes to other religions such as Islam. Right? when it comes to other religions such as Islam. Right? Yeah, do Muhammad. Do a musical called Muhammad. If you guys are so, so, you know, you're artists, it's about the real world interpreting. Oh, but you go nowhere near that. You know why? Because a musical is the gayest place that doesn't fly in the theaters downtown Tehran Yeah, you're cowards it's all you are and and Colbert sitting there pretend He's again he might be excited either way if he's faking it he's asshole or feed if he's sincerely excited. He's an asshole We've got past that crap. I'd love to see you play with a, again, a white, again, Jewish Jesus with abs. Like, he always, he's always ripped. Apparently hit a

ab roller in the cave in three days. Anyway, let's get back to World War III right around the corner. You know, it's funny if it does break up, go they'll blame it on Trump all this shit happened because since since Obama and Biden Kept throwing money at these assholes Every soldier has been killed American soldiers the last 20 something 30 years Democrat money our money being thrown at it by Democrat regimes our money being thrown at it by Democrat regimes. And Bush, by the way, George W. Bush, because Iraq turned out to be a real fucking mess. And I still say it's because they threaten to whack us down.

That's the only way I gave him a break. Iran has been urgently signaling that it seeks an end. Oh, I bet you do now. Now that there's two buildings left, there's like a men's, I think a men's public restroom is standing in a, what do you call it? Habibs are us. Habib?

Did I just make that up? Oh, hajibs. Hajabs? I had fucking silly hats. Iran has been urgently signaling that it seeks an end to hostilities now that everything's been knocked over and everybody's had fucking that. This guy's only 31 years old. Look what it's done to him.

Look what the Jews have done to this guy. Turned him into my accountant. It seeks an end to hostilities and resumption of talks over its nuclear program, sending messages to Israel and the US via Arab intermediaries, Middle East and European officials said. In the midst of a ferocious Israeli air campaign, Tehran has told Arab officials it will be open to return to the negotiating table,

but they can't find one. They're all burnt to a crisp and laying in ashes. As long as the US doesn't join the attack the official said Wait a minute you're already accusing the Americans of being involved By the way, we had a bunch of boats going over there yesterday or last night. Oh No, they showed a I guess it wasn't an American. We would have read about it today There was some ships on fire last night in the whatever straight Grab a name. Ahemalekh straight. Join the attack. They don't want the Americans to join

it. You already said we're involved. Iran also passed messages to Israel saying it's in the interest of both sides to keep the violence contained. Isn't that hilarious? It's like the bully finally getting his face kicked in going you know what you guys are bullying us Keep the violence contained now that they are getting that's how you know they're a deep shit You got to hand it to them. They won't come out and go all right. I don't know what I don't know how to say uncle in Farsi You're a little off that was aunt You're a little off. That was aunt. Hates Jews.

Hates Jews. Israeli Prime Minister Benny Netanyahu, I know him as Bibi, has said the attacks will continue. I'm sorry, but I want this guy at the helm. The Jewish Trump. And people hate, people will hate me. I'm getting shit from fans. Some of them a couple. I always check they have seven me. I'm getting shit from fans my face some of them a couple I always check they have seven followers. I go

But somebody said some guy last night said it's funny how the Palos this in-your-face anti woke But until it comes to Israel So I'm supposed to side with Side with yeah the idiots in this country and side with Hamas and the people that blow up babies, women and children. I don't, well the Jews are doing that too. Yeah, after they get fucked, after somebody raped and murdered, they didn't start it. Don't start a fight you can't end Because a lot of people and I get this to a lot of people saying let Israel fight their own battles and shit. I

Don't know how far how much you want to argue with but a constitution is Judeo-Christian There is a length there as far as values and shit and whatever. Look, folks, you could be right. People, again, using anti-Semitic people, they control everything. They control us. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Whatever the fuck. I'm still going to side with them before I

side with people who believe in stoning women to death because they showed their ankles or seen on the street with a male. Understand or throw gay people up the tops of buildings. I don't mind that if there's a pool below. I've done that. Yes. Please put that in.

That was my best one. Do you see what I'm saying? If you've got a pick, what do they say? The lesser of two evils. Netanyahu has said the attacks will continue until Iran's nuclear program and ballistic missiles are destroyed. And he has shown no indication he's ready to stop. I love it.

Because when you say never again or whatever their thing is, this is what he means. And when October 7th, I don't care if it was a couple years ago, everybody else has memories, quick memories. These people, the Germans tried to take them out completely. So you think they might be a little jumpy when somebody's been stating for the last 60 years they wanna take them out? I don't have a problem with it, sorry.

They need our help. We'll, whatever. He has also, but we better get shit back from Israel. I don't know what that would be Dreadles and he has also said regime change isn't a goal but could be a result given the Iranian leadership's weakness You mean you've whacked every one of it Trump confirmed that he had received Iran's message about wanting to end the war Then Trump said this they'd like to talk but they should have done that before he said this when he was in the plane doorway talking about

uh... trump said responding to questions from reporters i had sixty days and they had sixty days and on the sixty first day i said we don't have a deal we've got here is failure to communicate uh... they have to make a deal and it's painful for both parties But i'd say again, this is trump talking iran is not winning this war and they should talk

And they should talk immediately before it's too late. Well from reading the headlines in the papers today. It sounds like it's too late Trump what trump put out a thing last night saying get out of dodge And he like I said he took off from the G7 summit so I don't know what Bibi said to him we don't know and then you get Israel today say yeah we got a trick up our sleeve that's coming later this week what the hell's left gonna be funny for baby comes on he just pulls out roses up yeah and all the palestins. Oh, that was a good one. Let's lighten up a little sports nose. Is this the final story? No? Oh my, two more? I don't think so. I got a flight to

catch. Razorback, Razor Sharp. This is the College World Series is going on right now. How long's that last? Seems like it's been going on a while. I went to University of Maine. They were in it like two years in a row when I was up there. They were friggin' good. And they practiced inside until like April, May. And then Miami would come up and they would sweep my, I mean great teams. I saw a few guys that went to the majors and pitch up. The college world series hadn't seen a no-hitter in 65 years. Gage Wood. Too close to Gay Wood. You know, he could torture. Gage Wood just changed that. Apparently this kid is throwing darts. Son of a whore! Wood, the electric Arkansas right-hander who's ranked MLB pipelines number 50 overall draft prospect. That's out

of hundreds and hundreds of people, for 2025 pitched just the third no hitter in college world series history in a three nothing win over Murray State on Monday. They say Murray is despondent about it. He won't come out of his room. And here is I guess this is the final out of the no-hitter and I love I just um I just I get nostalgic I get depressed just to be this young and strong and cocky and but here's the final strike of the no-hitter Greatness from Gage! A no-hitter! Black people hugging and a white guy threw a no-hitter. I mean this is tremendous. See him? Looks like a bulldog. The 21-year-old Wood took a perfect game into the

eighth inning and struck out 19 batters. This is only in a World Series playoff game. A men's college World Series record. Is this the eighth inning and struck out nineteen batters this is only in a world series playoff game a men's college world series record is this the finals I didn't read the fucking in a nine inning game over a hundred nineteen pitches allowing just listen to this just a he hit a guy with a pitch a second hit by pitch was overruled in the ninth inning so So it would have been a perfect game if you take away that hit by pitch. The last no hitter in the College World Series was thrown by, of course, we all know this guy,

Oklahoma State's Jim Wixson. All the way back in 1960. Here he is staring at a cheerleader. The only other one was thrown by Texas, Jim Erler, 1950. You know, Jimmy, don't you? Fuck are you? Looks like Bob Greasy. I love the old baseball pictures.

It's always the blue sky, clouds. Now, when you see a guy picture an MLB like that, there's a missile going by in the background, a guy with a knife. It's a very different world. There have been a few other, excuse me, a few other no-hitters in the NCAA baseball tournament. Kumar Rocker, who doesn't remember him? This guy looks like a warlord from Burkino Faso.

Kumar Rocko, who memorably threw a 19 strikeout no-hitter for Vanderbilt in 2019. Oh, six years ago, Super Regionals. But a no-hitter in Omaha is truly historic territory. There'll be Omaha, Nebraska. Finally tonight... Make me a sandwich! make me a fucking sandwich! and now shut up and make me a sandwich tonight. Countless tiktokers

are proudly documenting their foodie finesse using hinge and bumble like door dash. Those are dating apps if you don't know folks. uh... the kids tell me that open for me the young comics and they pick up girls I haven't delivered like the pizza it's tremendous to score meals on someone else's dime so what you know this is this is about women meeting guys because they don't have any money or whatever the bug apparently meeting

guys on dating I pretend and they're interested so they can get a free meal on a date. I would think it would be all heifers. I would think that would be the name of the dating app, heifers. Just fat girls who can't go more than 24 hours with like 70,000 grams of carbohydrate. This is referred to as a foodie call. As opposed to a booty call. These kids are terrific. They're original. Have you ever seen, let's say the last two generations, have you ever seen a generation more in love with themselves? They spend eight out of, I don't know, 22 out of 24 hours a day looking

at themselves on a phone and taking pictures. Have you ever seen anything like it? Dennis Miller had the greatest quote about that. He goes, never has a generation, never has a generation done so little but has been so documented or something like that. I butchered that but it was funny the way he said it. Come on babe, get it right, babe. This is referred to as a foodie call where someone nabs a free meal. First of all, this has been going on forever. You didn't have to have dating apps. We knew in the 70s and 80s when I was taking girls out. You know what I mean?

I knew damn well. And I lived in New England. A lot of the, they would always pick, they'd pick the lobster. I'm like, you better get under the table when you're finished with that tail. Which is very sexist in my part. But I'm just saying, we've been fucked over for free meals all the time. Where someone nabs a free meal with no plans ever to call, text, or date the poor sap. And you know what? Guys do the same thing. Not for food though, but I'm saying they'll go to meet a girl

and maybe she's got a lazy eye or a limp. they're like fuck you I'm not I don't care if you're nice or not anyways so they do that so the guy will pick up the check you know TikTok's filled with cheeky clips of users bragging about dating for dinner I wouldn't brag about it a budgeting hack oh it's a but in one recent video users and here's me can be seen at a restaurant table in white text over the clips. This user wrote, when you keep going on dates for the free food and drinks. She's bragging she's a, she's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, I did this for two weeks straight once. I was never hungry. But I understand that girl was from Ethiopia. She was here illegally. Went through those breadsticks like they were a bag of Japanese beetles. One other added, girl I feel you.

I wonder what ethnicity she was. You fucking whore. Yeah that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. No. You buy me a dinner before I get your dinner. You fucking whore. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. No, you buy me a dinner before I get your dinner. Some are joking that back-to-back dates are their version of meal prepping.

Aren't you funny bitches? One viewer wrote under the video, the fact that this isn't a joke, someone else replied, it's like a meal vulture because you're putting in the work. You deserve it. You're putting in the work. You deserve it. You're putting in the work? You might have taken a shower and put on a dress or something or jeans. You're putting in the work? You probably just came from work and your ass stinks. What kind of... That's putting in the work? Boy, you girls. An additional supporter chimed in, this is low key genius, as one other noted, love doing

this. Hashtag think smarter, not harder. Oh, that's terrific. Dating with the intention of nabbing a free bite to eat isn't new. A 2019 study published in the Society for Pigs, Society for Personality and Social Psychology Journal dove deep into foodie calls. The study found up to one in three women admitted to going on dates for free grub.

It's the barter system. You get the free grub, but here's the difference. The fucking stupid feminists came in. Girls used to go, yeah, you know what? I had a $50 steak. I'll give him a handjob Didn't you But now the feminists have ruined all that. I don't owe you nothing. Oh, you all have to build it That's called going Dutch slutch Slutch that's German for slut. That's all I got for today folks. Don't forget

Don't forget Tune in tomorrow 9 to 6 You'll see all these tremendous shows that lead into each other I'll also be on crowded tomorrow morning live in his studio and on Thursday morning So we won't be here to make that clear Alright anything else, Dalla? That's it, you guys, thank God I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here, I wanna say on Monday,

am I correct? On Monday, so you guys have a great weekend and we'll see you then, take care. Hi, good night everybody. ["I Save the World Today"] Good night everybody! Everybody's happy now, but good things can't stay Please let it stay Hey, hey, I saved the world today Everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away

And everybody's happy now, the good things still stay Please let it, ooh let it?