The Nick DiPaolo Show - Iran's Ridiculous Insurance Demand | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1914

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Iran's Insurance, Big Balls, Geno Smith's Problems and "Obsession" Pushes Feminist Ideals!! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Hey, hey. Welcome to the live lineup where it's free shows all day. And if you want to watch ad free shows, what do you do? You join Rumble Premium. Don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble Appetini. Today we'll be talking about cocaine, kids, sex, rock and roll. How about the guy who fucking took a header on purpose, Madison Square Garden from 150 feet at a goose concert? Of course I had to make the joke

Well it's a goose concert He went down What? You heard me motherfucker As Bill Hicks used to say Don't get on your fucking I hate puns high horse 150

But here's the thing We always talk about bad reporting and shit Headline Guy jumps it says In the headline jumps from 150 First paragraph Suicide So he didn't jump

I mean one of them said he fell Excuse me One of them said he fell and then the first graph, the first thing says he jumped. Does anybody, is there any quality check going on? Andy just came in the room

and showed me like four things where she was getting ripped, trying to, everybody's on the take. Everybody, everybody, whether it's Home Depot, where you buy your fucking flowers, the power company

here in Savannah, she just showed me things where she fucking agreed to a certain price and they keep charging her. And she calls, back and they're like, it'll go to the new price once your new bill comes out. Well, I've been hearing that for two months now.

Un-fucking, and that's, that is not, folks, that's not an accident. Everybody has decided, fuck you. So anytime you get a chance to fuck you them back, I, you know, I started to feel guilty about yelling at that old lady on the phone. Why didn't know, I don't know if she's old or not? She's a lady. And I woke up today and I'm like, fuck her. Because it was so deceptive.

You know? I've never made that fucking mistake. You know why? Because I've never seen by units. First of all, who calls steak units? You know, who does that McDonald's CEO? Remember he tried the big burger? And he called it a product.

Hey, our new Mick product. It's just everybody. Every motherfucker fucking body. You know, I, you know, I, Dallas, what I do with my phone? Anyways, I was just about to say, should I include a chapter in my new book about aging? And, you know, people's first instincts.

Everybody's talking about getting all. Yeah, but it's the funniest fucking shit. The funniest shit, not the funniest. Like just now, I went to touch my phone to start the clock so I can see where we are in the show. the phone's not there. I'm like Dallas, where's my phone? I'm sitting on it.

Okay? That was mistake number two since I got here. Mistake number one, this is the one, I joke about a lot of the shit, but this is the one, one's like this kind of. Again, my dad had it, and I'm convinced I'm going to, I have to get my brother to agree

to put me to sleep, though. He has to. And I'm dead serious. Unless you're wise enough to know, I don't know you want to go, but I don't think you are. I think you're bliss. Anyways, so I come in as I do every morning. First thing I do I'm going to get there.

I fucking go to the coffee machine, put my mug under it, take a thing, you know, the K cup and put it in the fucker. So I do that today. I come in. I put the thing in the fucking bing bing. I come in here and do whatever I'm doing. Then I can hear splashing going on. I go out to check on my. coffee, I thought maybe it was overflowing. No, it wasn't overflow. You know what? It couldn't

overflow. There was no cup there. That's coffee. And by the way, that's the beginning of the mess. I lifted that up. There was another two feet. And shit on the floor. I was going to take pictures of all three. I didn't want to board you. There was no cup under the coffee. I'm that close to having somebody wipe my ass for me. Dallas is like, your nose as far as I'm going to go. The Sopranos. Fucking best line ever. Look at that. No cup.

And I went out, got in my car, remembered no choppers. Again, and I'll repeat this, nobody seems to be hearing me. They don't want to believe it's true like my wife or my family. I had four concussions that I know of. And I know I had some that were not. Because back in the day, when I was in high school, you got your bell wrong, you're back in the game. in the game. So, and I remember

come out of the game and having people I got my bell rung at least four times. So who the fuck knows? I might pull a, you know what? What was his name, the linebacker? Sayo, put a gun right to his own chest. Who else just killed himself recently? Hockey player?

Yeah. And they said it was, they think it was. I don't believe that one. But I'm just saying, folks, goodness gracious. The fucking wife, I pray, I die before her. If she gets real sick, like she's in hospice, I'll kill myself before she goes. It's going to be like a race. I'm going to go, now she has to take care of the paper.

She can't. She's shitting herself. She's blind. I'll leave a note. Hey, I won. Red Sox up two to nothing against the worst team in baseball last night. The Colorado Rockies are about 18 games under 500. Two to nothing.

Going in, they give up, two to nothing in the eighth. They give up eight or nine hits in a row. I think it was eight, four, and then three and then five. Eight hits in a row from the eighth to the ninth inning. And their bullpen's usually the only good part of the team this year. So they would do, you know, eight, but who's ever heard of eight hits in a row? And the last guy hits one down in the corner. Duran, nice knowing you, buddy.

You're the first one out of here. And it breaks my heart to say that he plays hard. He means well, but he's a headcase. The ball goes down the line. He plays it wrong. It ricochets out. He goes to pick it up. He drops it.

Meanwhile, they're round of the bases like literally. And they win, three, two. Walk off. The worst team of baseball. There is going to be a fire sale like you read about and fire sale weekly. I'm hoping. It's going to be more exciting than the season. Because all the article.

Again, I know I'm probably boring if you're not socks fans, but I can't help it. You've got to take me, all of me. Every article today, whether it was Yahoo Sports, Sports Illustrate, ESP, every article is about how the Red Sox are going to own. They're going to have the best as far as a fire sale, if they do. They will own free agency, meaning they're going to be able to get anybody they want because of the financial situation and the guys that are shitting the bed still good ball players that other teams need coming down the stretch.

They're talking about getting rid of Contreras. He's the only guy that's done anything. He's been great defensively. He's got 16 homers, 40-something RBI's done everything. He's been talking about him. Haraldus Chapman right now is still the best closer in all of baseball. He's going to be on the mark. I mean, I'm like, don't you keep a couple of gems?

Don't you keep a couple of the good ones? You know, I mean? but the rest of them, oh, and they're all, like I said, decent ball players. It's been a disaster. No Travis Story, no Roman Anthony. It really has. You can't blame it all on the, but what a fire seal. I'm more excited about that.

I'm as excited about that as I was this upcoming season that went into the trash three weeks in. And one other quick story, I should have done it on the show, but we don't do much business. It's very dry, and you know, I'm not dry. You come to see me live. going to be talking about the fucking bill that was shot down by the farmers union and not yet um although i was tempted to have my brother on just to show you the fucking whiz this guy is he talked money like trump it's fucking un now i know oh that's why you've been retired semi-retired for almost 20 years and for fun he does shit like he's the leader of the h-o-a at the

condo uh but but he's not an asshole about it you know you know how the most of them are fucking ass. Oh, you know, they write you up for littering and shit. My brother ain't like that. I think that's where he took the job. Fuck a smart motherfucker. Oh, yeah, I was talking about RFK Jr. gave a press conference about fraud this morning. My hair was standing up, and that's saying a lot with all the shit that's going on in the world and what we talk about here every day. He was talking about how deep the fraud runs. Listen to that. I'll just give you one story, short story.

One of the, I think it was a hospice owner out in L.A. Remember how they had like 15, hospices that were totally bogus. One of them, listen to this. He kept billing the government, you know, taking their money. Finally, the government's like, well, nobody's dying and you own a hospice. So you know what he does? He makes friends with the local fucking guy at the morgue, the city morgue guy, and gets names of dead people who are, you know, legally paperwork, they're dead,

and uses them to prove people are dying. You and I pay for that, by the way. When they see hundreds of billions, again, I want to remind you, that doesn't come out of a government piggy bank. That's our money that's in that government piggy bank. You understand? Bleeding us dry. Do you understand what a superpower we could have been the last? And I want to believe, you're going to tell me Reagan was too dumb to see this shit.

And don't tell me it wasn't happening then, not at this rate. But all the presidents, Clinton, you know, of course Obama, he was chairing it on. I'm just saying I couldn't believe what he and he had more stories that that fucking insane it is shocking you know how rich a country would be

if you got rid of all that on top of now we're the top energy country and the planet you know how filthy rich and how dominant we could be but no there's an anti-American force

in this country that has been smoldering for the last 70 years that won't go away I'm ready to go total. Like I said, benign dictator. Hey, no more fucking Democratic Socialist Party. How about that? Let's start there.

What do you mean? You can't do. Yeah, we can. Why? Who are you? I'm the fucking new dictator in time. Another judge ruled against Trump, some fucking ruling that hurts us. Some broad.

I couldn't, the particulars I forget, there's so many. But another broad. Since when did judges more powerful than the president of the United States? Is that how it works? I don't even know. I guess it does. That's how they found this, set it up? I don't know.

That's all I got, folks, at the top of the show. You ever watch those music reactions? I'm sure you do on YouTube. It's fucking great. Watching young black kids who love hip-hop, reacting to fucking whatever, Bob Seeger. It's fucking great. It gives you hope.

I don't know why I watch them all the time. But there's one girl on the Stacey RPG. That's all I'm going to say. Brunette. Anyway, let's move on. That's all I want to say. She had hair in her head. And a smile that would fucking take your breath away.

Today I'll be talking about all kinds of shit. Look at it. I'm going to smash this. This is where I'm at lately. Me and Andy did not get along last night. But it's medication. I don't know what the fuck it is. Medication.

I'm taking the thyroid shit. supposed to pick up your thigh. The smallest dose you can take. And I think it's working because my hair started to thin out. And I'm taking three dumps a day as opposed to three a week. Too much information? I'm just saying. It's all part of fun.

It's all part of the fucking... And I'm healthy. The best thing was that heart doctor going, you don't have to be here. Imagine? Fucking honest. Jew! It's a joke.

Come on. He was. But I liked him. He had no socks on. I remember. I'm talking about Iran's big insurance scam with the straight of Hormuz. They want to pull some scammerini.

We'll be talking about men's testicle shrink, and naturally only in 2026, would that be a popular headline? Gino Smith, you know, the quarterback that's been around forever and who the Jets ruined his career and who I'd like, by the way. He's in some domestic dispute with his wife on camera. Wow, that's like saying son's coming out.

we'll show you a trailer of an independent movie maker. I think we mentioned it yesterday. And it's, it looks interesting in the big stories. It only costs them this much money and it's killing around the planet. So he's set for life. Come on, Dallas.

Come up with something. Me and you. We'll have what's your wife and kid in it, do whatever you want, help in the background. But you and I have to stop murdering. Fucking young girls. No, there's plenty of that going on.

And one more story. They keep picking on my fucking girl, Caitlin Clark. I almost said Caitlin Collins. Who the fuck's that? Is that anybody? I made a funny observation. You know, RFK Jr.'s voice?

It sounds like he's doing an imitation of Susan Collins, the old lady senator from Maine. And she talks like this, too. It's identical. Anyways, let's get the fuck on with it. Iran's not so progressive insurance. Get it? I'm sure you know.

As high-stakes negotiations to end the Iran war continue in Switzerland, the maritime industry's message to the White House is clear. The maritime industry, they say it like we all know what better. Don't allow Iran to formalize its tolling racket over the strait of Hormuz. You think you get out to tell Trump that twice? He can't wait to them. Iran wants all commercial shipping vessels. I don't know how they're back in charge.

I don't understand this. Iran wants all commercial shipping vessels to register with a newly formed Iranian agency. Okay. In order to pass through the narrow entry to the oil rich Persian Gulf. But Western insurance underwriters are refusing to comply, slamming the mandate as a sanctions trap. Senior so why would you, this is such, I'll say it again, And I'm going to say it to you're sick of it.

I feel bad. Trump can't be. This is why I believe, even Trump, there's four guys run in the world. And you know, and Rubio, and you know, please tell me, please tell me, guys, you're smarter than thinking Iran's going to follow through with any deal longer than a half hour. Senior sources say, unless U.S. negotiators force Iran to completely dismantle its unilateral insurance mandates and fully clear international waters of underwater mines. Trade in the region will never truly recover.

Yes, sir. Under the guise of a 60-day truce, under the guys, exactly. Tehran's newly formed Persian Gulf Strait Authority, we call that the PGSA. Pro-Golping Sandinistas associate. Declared that all traditional shipping channels through the international waters of the strait are prohibited. to force compliance.

Iran wants all commercial vessels to register with the PGSA. That's an Iranian thing. And carry Iranian-approved insurance. What? I didn't even know they knew the concept. Insurance. That's the Jew racket. That's not nice to say.

Oh, please, I defend them all the time, and I'm starting to question my fucking values. But Insiders told the Post that insurance firms are a few to comply with a system, they say, is completely unworkable for the private sector. Of course, you think they're going to design something that's going to benefit anybody? Global firms warn that signing on the dotted line would violate stringent U.S. Office of Foreign Asset Control sanctions once premiums are paid. It also would force companies to rely on an Iranian legal system.

So if you're late with your premiums, they're going to stone you to death. If you're gay and you fuck them over you don't even get a grace period they put you right in the elevator 34th floor says right in the elevator fag killing

FK on the button I've been in there to rely on Iranian legal system in which the West has absolute zero confidence why they seem like such nice people hey folks if you haven't heard by now

November 5th they'll be at the punchline at Atlanta Georgia and I'm a little excited about that one because I like the guys who run it. Ron Donjo's like a New York Italian, been down there forever. And he ran the old place, the punchline in Atlanta,

which was a great club. You can find footage of Jay Leno driving as a bike around the country doing clubs. And they got him at the punchline in Atlanta. Being interviewed like the mens room. And he rode his, he was like fucking Fonzie.

Very funny. November 6, River Casino, that's the next night in Philly. Then the next night, November 7, Sol Joles, Pott's Town, go to Nick. dip.com to get your tickets before they sell out. While you're there, go to the merchandise page and you can get all kinds of stuff that you see right there. Everything but that piece of ass up in

the right hand corner. He's being saved for a nice guy in Denver. Also, Nick Dip, we get hats and hoodies. That supports this show. So pitch in and help a young giddy. I don't know who that be. Also, you want to send a personalized video to somebody. I'll say what you think. thinking so you don't have to, book it at shoutout.us. Go to my profile and we can do a little, you know, a minute roast on somebody or just be mean. Didn't have pretty funny. Let's move on to the next headline. Grow a pair. If you've noticed your balls have gotten smaller, they love stories like this, folks. Who's they? The fucking, you know, anti-mail press. I have a whole bit on one of my albums about when every commercial was for Viagra.

It's one of my best bits. And they have one of the NFL players. I don't know. They're telling me I can't get it up. I said, I'm getting mixed signals from the NFL. Every commercial. I'm getting mixed signals. They're fucking, you know, they're telling you to use Viagra.

And then they have like Ray Lewis pop up. Don't beat your bitches. PSA announcement. If you've noticed your balls have gotten smaller, it could be a sign you're a fucking faggot. No. that's not nice cocksucker

how about a gobbler of goo could be a sign of underlying health condition who said that Dr. Alexander Pastuzak I don't know if I'd want to be known as a whirl-in-out-ball doctor a urologist and the CEO of paterna biosciences

says there are about six issues that could be shrinking your nuts number one it's like the top ten list meds that slow tea production, as in testosterone. As many as 11 million men are on testosterone placement therapy, yours personally, also included, I turned on a bunch of guys to it, my age.

I saw the picture with the cook eye. You look like a fucking tranny. Tits are touching your shoes. Take a pill. TRT is a common solution. And I told you when I was on Rogan show years ago. I go, I'm thinking about doing that. Why wouldn't you?

No, I was just talking about steroids. I kiddingly go, I'm going to start juicing. I thought he'd laugh because I was in my 50s. He goes, why? He goes, I don't see wine. What the fucking serious? I go, I don't know. I heard it's bad for your liver.

I know kids I played football with in college who have blown out that one of them's dead. Of course, he had a drinking problem too. A couple of them destroyed their kiddies. They used to shoot up in the shower. The lineman would stick a needle in another lineman's ass. For the University of Maine, I said, you're not in Oklahoma. You're not going anywhere. But a couple of them did, you know, so maybe I'm wrong.

TRT is a common solution to this issue. But it presents another one. Because the meds add enough testosterone and the body stops making it. Your body's like, oh, you got enough. I'm not going to do anything. Then all the tubes that are no longer being used as often to release the hormones, they shut down and shrink up. But the doctor says this is expected.

So when you do TRT, like my balls shrunk immediately, and it pissed me off because I had nice balls, I was told. Before I get married, I always get compliments on my balls. And then I'd go to the girl, but what about my dick? They go, eh, fuck, get out of here. Pick up the 20 bucks and get out of here. Put that in there. I want that.

I want that one. I'll laugh myself. I know it wasn't the greatest. And serious, Dallas, don't feel, when I say shit like, do not feel pressure. because you've been a great barometer. Seriously. So, yeah, when you do TRT, it's expected. And we all knew that,

right, bodybuilders. They always said that when I was a kid. When we were kids, it shrinks your dick. No, it shrinks your nuts. And it makes your dick look bigger. That's why I had a positive. I said the bag is half full. Anyways, number two for shrinking your nuts. Twisted testicles.

That's only if you have an angry wife. Or a fucking girlfriend. At the base of the balls, there's a cord of vessels, nerves. It looks like the back of an entertainment center, I guess. And tubes that whole, the testes inside the skin and muscle of the scrotum. If that chord gets injured, well, how, what are you doing that you're going to injure that cord? What do you play guitar and you're looking for the right jack? If that chord gets injured through, it says through injury or heavy exercise,

Without a clear reason at all. Excuse me. If I haven't injured that thing by now, let me tell you, the dick is the most durable product God ever put out. I have beaten on that fucking thing. Left hooks, right fucking crosses, uppercuts, there's scars on it like a fucking...

You know, it looks like a whale. Let me see when you see a whale and it's got all marks in its back from propellers from boats. I've said this before. My dick has more scars in it than Bobby Orr's left knee. That's about the 25-minute mark, right? Dick scars.

I like that one. Maybe I'll open with that five years from now when I do my... Anyways, it says it all can cause serious... Every day, there's a fucking fear story. Every friggin' day. Call testicular torsion, as in contortion. This condition is defined by blood supply, cut off, to the testicles, which can cause permanent damage.

I should have showed the clip of Tony Supron. God damn it. Tony Soprano is on his boat with a Russian chick. And there's a Russian guy, the boat next to him, tied up at the dock. And he looks over and he sees Tony fighting with his Russian girlfriend. And then the Russian guy, he's got like a Hawaiian shirt on real asshole. He says something in Russian to Tony's girlfriend. And they put subtitles.

it says if you don't like Americans or assholes got date rush them out or something like that and then she yells something back and Tony goes, you got a fucking problem other than those pants?

He goes over on their boat jumps in their boat and he gets right in his face and grabs him by the nuts and the guy's like that show is just I'm sorry if blood supplies cut off

for an extended time the testicles may need to be surgically removed I don't know that's kind of come of TikTok challenge. How long can nuts go without oxygen? It's an emergency that often requires surgery,

if not treated within six hours. They say, but you can do it yourself in the garage if you have it an exacto kit. Is that something? Used to be. Number three for shrinking your nuts. Enlarged veins. That looks like my dick.

I've got to be honest. Take off about three inches. Let the nuts go down another foot. Do you know my balls? touch the water when I sit down on the turlid? What do you mean, look? It feels great. It's like a fresh breeze off the ocean. No. Veracoli. Have you had the varicoli? Veracassali. I don't know how to pronounce it. It's always

Latin when you're dealing on dicks. Are in large veins inside the skin that holds the testicles. These can develop over months or years. Each testicle has its own artery to transport oxygenated blood in and its own main veins. to transport depleted blood out. Wow. All that in your bag?

I did not realize. I thought there were a couple nuts in there. Smaller veins connect to the main one to transport depleted blood, which can back up and swell becoming a... I see V-A-R-I, so it's almost like varicose. You know, that's what they're talking about. So I hope you guys are getting something out of this. Number four, infection and swelling.

A bacterial or viral infection. can cause swelling and inflammation in one or both testicles, sometimes causing a complication with a testicle shrink. Well, don't fuck anybody in the ears. I mean, male-wise. Girls keep you clean. Imagine being a homo, banging your boyfriend. Guys don't fucking...

As the comedian said, I pulled my dick out. It looked like a payday bar. It's the funniest line ever heard. Roger Rittenhouse is a comedian, and he had a hook for a hand. That's all I'm going to say. Jokes like that are the reason I get into comedy. I talked about that joke for a year straight, just the visual, because I paint pictures. That's gross.

You know, almost gross me up. Mumps are the most common cause of viral orchitis. Sounds like a pasta. Or testicle swelling. Nearly a third of men who get mumps after puberty get orchitis or not. Around four to seven days after the mumps start. You still get mumps. Then get out of my country.

Orchitis can also be caused by a bacterial infection, often of the urethra or the bladder that spreads to the epideminemitis, located at the back of the testicle behind the row of seats up in the low section. Less often, an STI can lead to orchitis. Finally, number five, I've heard of this one, hypogonadism. Wasn't that Black Sabbath second album? Apparently this affects your big toe. Is that supposed to be nuts? low testic

hold on don't even pause it because you're going to watch me smash this thing what now why would it do that this is what I'm talking about with this shit like I'm on the way here and I say play Bob Seeger you know

and my stereo plays it in the car I did two songs this morning on the third when I go play you know shine I cannot do that while you're driving so what I did I moved over to the passage And I crashed into a tree and it came on. It kept saying, can't do it while you draw.

And then, then it played it. Finally, she agreed with me. Is that somebody fucking with me? Well, because you're using a woman's voice. That might be it. Low testicular function, despite getting the right signals from the brain, is called primary hypogonadism. Kleinfelter syndrome.

Some German guy. Colonel Kleinfelter, you are an idiot. Klink, I don't know. Watch that. You younger people, you want to see a hilarious. We used to make shows about concentration camp. Well, it wasn't, it was a fucking military camp in Germany during World War II. But still, you think they'd ever do that today?

And it was hilarious. Start a guy named Bob Crane. you know how he died and I'm not making this up Dallas, do you know how he died? The guy that's a Star Hogan heroes. Beat to death with a tripod, a cameraman beat him to death with a tripod. He was a sexual

devian, I guess, and he would have people over and film shit and stuff. He was ahead of his time, I guess. And he'd get beat to death with a truck. They're not as light then as they are now. That's true. That's a good point. It would take you two days to kill somebody with today's tripod.

Back then they were made of oak. and they had fucking steel strapping and iron ore. No, that's actually a good point. Only he would know that. Kleinfelter syndrome is most common genetic cause of this. This affects around 1 in 600 men. Well, I'm not going to sweat it. And it's treatable with TRT.

That's the shit I'm doing. The testicular tissue itself fails, so testes are firm and small. What's the matter with that? They fit right in the girl's nose. Cancer treatments can also cause primary hypogonadism. And the final one, six, is aging. Mine shrank with TRT, and I was glad, like I said. I guess it runs in the family.

I guess it, what? Why, you? Get upstairs. That's true. That's when they were shrinking. That was after, this is when I decided to get on TRT. I saw that in the mirror one morning shave, and I go, what the fuck? But I think, yeah, my balls are on the big side.

like I told you. And I think it runs in the family. I get some home footage of my dad and my uncles at a cookout outside or wherever they were doing work. But here it is. You gotta be fucking kidding. You gotta be fucking kidding. Richard Pryor.

What's the big? Here's my uncle Bob. All right. I think we got it. What's the big deal? It's a built-on beanbag chair. Okay. Of course South Park had to touch on.

You know, when we were kids, you ever hear guys get elephant titus in the balls? And we're like, get out of here. This is before they had. Tremendous footage. This is pawn to me. The voiceover's perfect. It's like a hoppity hop. Come on folks. We should submit the show to somebody. Maybe we can. How about that Jimmy Camel Cock Sucker? And I hate to say that because I've met him a few times. And honestly, very nice guy, but I don't know what happened to him. But he's talking about, you know, he's going to take like the summer off, like three months or whatever. I think that's probably the end.

and he's going to have a bunch of people guest hosts, but he wants Rosie O'Donnell in there. Go ahead. Go ahead. Do that. I don't know. I don't know, because they don't have any ratings anyways. And, you know, the ones that watch them love Kimmel's stupid shit. So she's just a cunt, hope she dies. Let's move on. No, no, no! In our FLA segment tonight, police were called to Gino Smith.

If you guys don't know who he was, who he is. He was a quarterback when he came out of calls. with the New York Jets. And he ended up being like a backup with the Jets. Then he'd start once in a while. Then he'd be a backup to many other guys that failed in front of him. And he sat on the bench a lot. And when he went to Seattle after almost his career as old,

and Pete, he might have went somewhere before Seattle, too. But Pete, what's his name? Come on, Delsher football football. Pete. Seattle's coach. Oh, Carol? Yes, thank you. He's fucking torture me.

Pete Carroll, yes. He went up there and I think he got a comeback player of the air. I'm talking like he's 40. And I was happy for him, you know? Because when he was in there, even with the jets, I would see these, a little bit of, you could see the potential that was wasted.

So, anyways, police were called to his house in Florida on Sunday after an alleged battery, which I don't believe, black guy in the NFL, battery charge, come on. I think it's in their contracts. They have to commit battery during the off-scene and stay in shape. They say if you beat your wife, like, right, it'll keep this. Cops showed up to the Jets quarterback's Davy residents.

I know where that is because I used to play a club called Uncle Funnies in Davy, Florida, where I got in trouble once the first time I played it in a waitress. This is literally what she said to me. It had my friend crying. You'll never set foot on an Uncle Funny stage again. That made me and Zuck laugh for the next 10 years. Oh, what a punishment. No Uncle Funnies.

Is that not the funniest thing ever uttered on a comedy? Cops showed up with the Jets, quarterbacks, Davie residents around 4.40 p.m., according to a spokesman for the Davy Police Department. Further information regarding the incident was not made immediate. available, though the rep did say no one was taken into custody. Of course not on scene. And an investigation into the matter

was closed. Really? The presence of law enforcement came right around the time a woman named Kristen alleged in a video on her at everything Chris X. Oh, wow, that's some club of shit. Instagram page

that Smith had put this, that he had put his hands on her. Here's the fucking footage that we enjoy. This is the best scrambling. Gina just beat my ass. That's why. I came in there. I put seven down in my left.

You ran outside and attacked me, bitch. You came outside and attacked me. Fuck you. I don't give a fuck about you. Bitch. Pause. I don't think he's married, right? Have we ruled that out?

I don't know. But I'd love that. I said to Dallas, he's 40. He's got to be 40 at a minimum. To the point where a few years ago, you know, when you see these young guys getting in a fight, they fucking throw the woman across to Rome and chase him and shit. I think he does chase her at the end here.

But he's actually, that's, I'm giving him like an A plus for black impulse control. Go ahead. Nope, I was wrong. Leave my neighborhood. Leave my neighborhood. You broke my fucking computer. Oh my God, they sent fighter pilots in.

F-16. Fuck you. Move. Oh, shit, I didn't see this. Look at you. Get out of my car. Get out of my car. Oh, he's in the car.

Stop! I didn't see that. Anyways, that's that. Nobody got arrested. Anyways, it happens. When it happens a lot of times, you're a black athlete, and it's going to get out there. Today is the day, Kristen wrote in a caption on the video, Gino Smith beat my ass because he hates taking care of his special needs kid.

First of all, I got to be honest, it sounds like a horrible thing to take care of special needs kid. I wouldn't want to do it either. I'm guessing a kid probably was not special needs when he was. was born. Then he caught a fucking errant ashtray in the forehead during a fight, and now he's specialty. Yeah, the last thing you want is a black husband to take care of special needs kid. And again, that doesn't go for all black husbands. It's just 98% of them. Let's move on. And Campy left alone with him because he'd rather watch sex online and play Call of Duty. That sounds more like an NFL player. So he's not 40. He's 11 mentally.

In additional caption, she added that Smith was throwing my purse. purse is out and stealing my money out of my car with his high deranged. A ass? Why would they censor that? The woman's video also included a shot of Smith appearing to talk with three cops outside of his home. She captioned that clip with the words, charges pressed. That's not what it said at the end, man.

Sound like everybody went home. She's calling a fucking... Did we establish if it was... a wife, a girlfriend, did it say? I love how the woman's calling the guy a bitch. Let's move on to Nice Guys Should Finish Last, says Obsession. This is the aforementioned movie

we talked about the beginning. On May 15th, Gen Z director. By the way, Gen Z, people are from 18 to 34 right now. I had to look that up. Back from the half of the show again? Gen Z director Curry Barker. That's his name, Gen Z. See this kid, he ain't going to have to work again.

Obsession is the name of the movie. It hit theaters on May 15th. Why am I just hearing about it now? The psychological horror film follows a young man whose wish for his longtime crush to love him comes true in far more intense and unsettling ways than he had hoped.

The film was an instant box office phenomenon grossing over, listen to this, grossing over 285 mil. 250 is a quarter billion, if my math is right. Right? 285 million worldwide. And this is what it costs to make. This is what the budget was, 750,000, not even a mill. Its popularity is driven largely by Gen Z viewers.

Audience data shows roughly 75% of ticket buyers are ages 18 to 34. dubbed a Gen Z Fatal Attraction or Fatal. I use the French. Femfetal. Gen Z fatal attraction. It's never going to touch fatal attraction. Just because your generation ain't as half as nuts when it comes to that sex shit.

Some of you is a fucking celibate, please. Dubbed a Gen Z fatal attraction. The mainstream take is that the movie resonates because it warns against toxic nice guy dynamics. And I've heard about this phenomenon. In Zoomer, internet culture, we might have talked about it on this show, but I know Gutfeld did a monologue on it.

Nice guys, in quotes, are men who believe they deserve romantic interests simply because they're polite and friendly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll say again, feminist whores. Yeah.

So if you're not polite and friendly, you're a douchebag and a dick. If you are, you're really not a nice guy. You're just faking it. Once again, leaving no options. Just like when black people go and you go, I get black friends. It's the first thing of races would say.

Okay, I don't got any black friends. I don't like them. Where do you want me to go? Fuck you. Why am I getting excited? I don't know why I'm getting excited. I'm 64. This has nothing to do with me.

Because they're polite and friendly. When rejected, These guys that pretend they are They grow resentful and angry Convince they're entitled to a woman's effect That's all in your head. Part of me wants to go, hey, this is one of my quotes That again, not the most popular sentiment

But quit treating your pussy like it's gold. It's not spreading around For guys who don't have a million dollars Or fucking good looking or whatever. How's that? Put that in your feminist Yes, there are guys out there who fake it Those are called, you know what those are called?

Those are called lefty feminist guys Of that age, too. They pretend they're feminists and they go to the marches Just a good person. But that's not who they're talking about. These are talking about regular guys. Their niceness is viewed as a manipulative tactic Rather than an offer of genuine friendship.

Okay, so guys, start when a girl's being polite, which they think that. Say the same thing. thing. You're really a whore. You're after my fucking my wallet or whatever I can give you. You've got to fight back.

That's why I was involuntarily celibate for 12 years with that type of line. But we'll show you the trailer to the movie and I got to be honest. I can't go to these things and you know me. What did I just watch recently? I almost started crying because it was so oh,

Droughter, Darren Crowder and Stephen Crowder. told me to watch Cape Fear. It's a series. And yes, it's, you know, because it's Cape Fair, it's interesting. But the messages from the liberals who make it are coming out your left and right. And I guess they don't let it bother them because I'm pretty sure they're aware of it too. But I, it, I stop focusing on that. I can't. And then I ruin it for my wife. That's the fun part. Here's the trailer to obsession. Have you ever actually like flirted with Nikki?

Yes. I'm gonna get some shots. I'll come with you. If she means this much to you. And I know she does. Say, Nikki, I think we should grab a drink sometime. Pause. How about not using that fried voice, you fuck?

You take an advice from a guy with a fried voice? You fat fuck, look at you. Go ahead. Nikki, wait. I was gonna ask you, um... What? Could I taste you? I lost my train of thought.

Of course you did. I... Good night. What else? Why? Because you're a fag. One wish we'll all. You only get one wish.

I wish Nikki Freeman love me more than anyone in the entire world. Pause. Here's the difference being Gen Z in my generation. He goes, I wish Nikki Bibba would love me. My generation, I wish you would suck my dick for the next three days. Action. I'm not saying I'm right there. I'm just saying.

I love you so, so, so, so much. Only the branch of a willow tree could conjure. Pause, right there, get out of town, fella. What the fuck is that, psycho? Only the branch of a pine tree could stick up your eyes. Good. It's weird how you two are dating all of a sudden. Like super dating.

I think the gay is going through or something. Like what? Is she okay? No. Sheesh, brocona's supposed you put on her. I can see Gianna doing that in that role. Oh, she's having a period. It felt like three dates like that when I was single. I was calling to see if there's a way I can cancel wish.

I'm sorry we don't really do that. So she's just stuck like this forever? As long as I live. It's a werewolf situation. I gotta tell you, again, um, Yeah, if I can get past the feminist fucking emasculation and, you know, but you, Gen Z is. I can see why that would. A trailer is very important, would you say?

Dallas knows. He makes snuff films. And the film, the protagonist, Bear, is hopefully in love with Nikki. Mainstream critics see him as the classic nice guy. And again, that's what it's about. The theme is because he's a nice guy, the women are. he's faking it because he you know he somehow that makes him entitled boy we are rotting to the core uh you know who turns manipulation snapping a one wish will or what is that is that something

i should know is that like is that what they call thysman's leg to force her affection and making the story catnip for a generation that love to call out such behavior yeah you guys act like they're right about it uh gen z is mostly female have this theory that uh what's they like to do call nice guys feel entitled to have a girlfriend or be popular with girls just because they're nice or polite. They say that's just manipulation and they're not really nice.

They're faking to get laid. Pills and a drink's much easier. Pick your choice, ladies. Okay? Because you're really fucking shitting on guys now who behave. My thoughts, I should be the spokesman for these Gen Ziers and shit. I've been through the

wars. Another generation, You ever have a woman throw a fucking, well, you're not, you're too young to know what a BCR is. I was going to say, ever have a woman throw a BCR? Which was an expensive thing? Huh? And heavy. A what?

And heavy. And heavy, yes. Exactly. Very heavy. Out a window, a second story window while you're on the fucking, on her sidewalk. She's yelling at you. And then all my clothes. And then I didn't talk to her.

from a month and then her friend Peggy goes now she's calmed down she wants to talk to you anyway so I go over there I ring the doorbell she opens the door I'm wearing a Celtics 1981 Champions T-shirt she fucking tears it off me I just had the ring around my neck I can tell you ten of those stories alcohol and fannual hall

bad combination and my roommate was like this good looking bartender it was like a fucking pussy train pulling up every Another generation A young woman fucked up by feminine Oh, this is me This is me off betting at the end

Another young generation fucked up by So if, all right, I already made this point So if you're a nice guy My advice to you young guys I said be a dick Every generation of women I don't care what generation likes those guys

Because they're Because they're You know, the women Think they can change you And they do usually They call the cops And you're like, I'm not doing that again be a dick

not if you're fucking fat and ugly but be a dick those are the guys who always you know because they think they can change you okay let's move on and now

for Nick's video of the day in our vaudeville segment tonight we have a video we have a video Roll video. Show some respect you people. You're talking to the best governor in history.

Fourth biggest economy in the world. Oh my goodness. We thought he was out injured. The crowd is losing their minds and look at the governor's face. No way. Pause. You know why this is great? They didn't give him that fucking bodybuilder.

They gave him what Trump would look like with a shirt off. And t-sitting around the pool. The only problem with this one, they couldn't find the guy to do his voice. Every other fucking guy but me can do Trump. But anyways, it's still the visual that, by the way, a few people who don't know what's going on, that's Gavin Newsom. Quit, you're crying. I'm just like you. 160 SATs score.

That's what I got. Frankly, I think we are nothing alike. I don't need illegals to vote by mail to win an election. Give me $100 billion more. from my California high-speed train and I'll leave you alone. Okay, I'll think about it if you do one thing. You can tell it, what's it done? Cardage.

I'm the boss. Now Harris comes into the ring to confront the commander and chief. She takes a super kick to the face and she's out. Akeem Jeff. This is Jim Crow. Press it. I usually don't put those in the show. Is that a meme Dallas official?

What is it? Not a meme. But I usually don't... That was too well done, not to fucking put in. And that was Nick's video of the day. We're at about 55, right? 56. All right, that's it for today.

I'll save these two for tomorrow. You'll like them a lot, so come back. I thought that was a good show. I thought it was a great show, actually. But who am I? Fucking Siskel and Ebert. They're both dead. Do you ever see fucking poor Roger Ebert?

He had like jaw cancer? Never see him at the end? They took his jaw out? Holy shit, like a pelican. Anyways, I gave him two thumbs up for being a fat fuck. All right. Don't forget cameo.com. If you'd like me to send a personalized video,

you know, roasting a friend of yours, go to cameo.com. Click on my profile. It will tell you what to do for a small fee. We'll have some fun with that. That's it. You guys think it. I'll say it.

You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow, which is, you know, Wednesday, right? All right. We'll see you then. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody.