The Nick DiPaolo Show - Islamophobia is a Myth | Nick Di Paolo Show #642

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

Dems create bill to "attack Islamophobia". OJ a free man. Chicago judge lets murderer go. A FL woman poisons partner. A bank robber deposits booty. A Sicilian gets busted.

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You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash thenickdapaloshow. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm Janice Jones, Infinite, tonight. In the N-Word segment today, self-appointed king shapeshifter and hypocrite Gavin Newsom

is waving indoor mask mandates for San Francisco gyms, where he meets fellas and businesses. And I say, who gives a shit what this power-hungry latest asshole tells you guys to do? Are you San Franciscans still listening to a guy who got caught dining out without a mask after he ordered you to do the exact

opposite? What's that? I can hardly hear you above the... Why are you listening to this guy? Do you people still believe this isn't a globalist plot to make the masses comply to a new world order? How do you not see that by now? Are you wearing your unnecessary mask over your eyes?

What the fuck? Wake up. Do you not watch sports on TV? Live events attended by anywhere from 15,000 to 115,000. Maskless people every weekend. And not a reported death from any of it. Yeah, Nick, but those things are outside. No, UFC has 25,000 and they're inside. So quit listening to Anthony Fauci.

Fuck him. He's got more blood on his hands than a farmer who just slaughtered a pig. And quit being grateful to Mein Führer Newsom for letting you breathe oxygen while you're at work or the gym, something he clearly did not get enough of at birth. And that is the N-word. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Ah, and a make me a sandwich segment tonight. Omar the Jew hater. The House approved a bill late Tuesday that seeks to combat worldwide Islamophobia in response to Republican Rep. Lauren Boebert's anti-Muslim remarks last month. Again, it was a fucking joke. This is what fundamentalism breeds,

This is what fundamentalism breeds, lack of irony. Why is, not her, I mean, why is Omar even in our country? Anti-Muslim remarks, she said last month against Democrat Ilhan Omar. The final vote was 219 to 212 along party lines, meaning no Republicans voted for it, I believe. It's just fucking mind-boggling. We talked about it last week. Bo Bair and another woman were waiting to meet her as she was approaching. She made a joke. Oh, good. She doesn't have her book back. Something like that. Again, a joke. I guess for where she grew up, where did we get her? Somalia? I guess you could cut your tongue out if you said something like whatever.

But she's over here for one reason, to fuck with the Jews. Pelosi knows it. They recruited her like a first round fucking center out of Nebraska. Scurvy pig face. Let's listen to this black broad, hopefully going through chemo.

Ayanna Pressley from massachusetts is about accountability this is about protecting the integrity of the house of representatives and about living up to the very values that we espouse and claim to represent many of us here today witnessed firsthand the consequences of the previous president's rhetoric? Pause. Pause. Oh, she's still on Trump. This stupid, values, this is the broad who lowered the shoplifting limit on anything under 900 bucks and you can fly with it in Boston too. Your values, you're the reason, I can't even say it, why you dress like my chauffeur. Just a hateful racist bitch. When you guys look at these people, don't think of them as your representatives. I'm dead serious.

On the Democrat side, just think of them as fucking Marxists. That's what they are. They're not American senators and congresswomen. They are Marxists here to flip this country on its ass. She is, ugh, there's a tie for most hateful. A lot of black broads in power in such a sexist, racist nation, huh?

Ugh! Does she have anything else to say, this fucking cue ball? When he incited a mob of violent insurrectionists to attack our seat of government, we have heard the hate and credible threats that have been directed at Rep. Omar and her staff. Words. Pause. What she's doing is linking any Trump supporters to that. That's what that is. Islamophobia is only coming from Trump supporters. You are as transparent as your fucking scalp. Good one, Nick. Like, dress like a penguin. Oh, she makes me all, go ahead, let the

slob talk. Have consequences. We must acknowledge that and respond with action. What are you going to do? We've introduced this resolution today to do just that and to send a powerful message to every Muslim and every marginalized person who has ever questioned their place in this country or in the halls of power. We see you. You belong. You are powerful. And you deserve a life free from fear and filled with dignity. Pause. Get her the fuck off my show now. She just implied, you, I'm lost for fucking words. Show me somebody on the right that's as outright racist as her. You belong. Yeah, because nobody's come here from other countries and made it big. Or we didn't welcome them with open arms in the 40s and whatever the fuck.

The world is not perfect, stupid. Keep playing on the past. You had to bring up Trump on January 6th to make your point. What does that say? Something that happened almost a year ago. Calm down, Nick. I can't. Fucking had enough of this show. By Thursday, it's more than a fuck enough.

All right, get her off my screen before I shit blood into a coffee cup. All right, get her off my screen before I shit blood into a coffee cup. Flood debate of the bill was ground to a halt earlier Tuesday after GOP Rep. Scott Perry of Pennsylvania referred to Omar as an anti-Semitic and implied that she has ties to terrorist organizations, which she does. You know what CARE, C-A-R-E, CARE, you know, I forget what it stands for, Cunts United and the Republic of whatever. But she does. That's been proven over and over again. A comment which led to audible gasp

from some Democratic members. Of course. You can't handle the truth. Democratic members in the chamber, audible gasp. Let's face it, he said, Perry, aside from the attempts to placate an anti-Semitic member of the chamber. I love this guy. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Not him, her. That's really happening here is that House Democrats are deflecting from the real issue confronting the House of Reps, and that is that the maker of this bill has no business sitting on House committees, has no business in this chamber.

Who is this guy and how do we get him on the ticket? Perry said of the little terrorist bitch, ungrateful, who is a, he's a lead author of the bill. I mean, Omar is. Good for you. Good for you, Mr. Perry. Don't take that shit off nobody. American taxpayers should be forced to pay

terrorist organizations that the maker of this bill is affiliated with, like one that's an unindicted co-conspirator in the largest terror financed case in the United States of American history. What's he referring to, Dallas?

Any idea? No idea, but I'm going to dig into that. Maybe September 11th. Remember she said somebody did something on September 11th? Hello, Esmeralda! Hello, Esmeralda! He did not provide any context or evidence of his claims during his remarks. You see how they throw that

in? So right away, you know, oh, whoever wrote this is full of shit. They can't help themselves. They can't get through a paragraph. Perry also cited a lack of definition for the word Islamophobia. Well, you know why? Because it's a made-up word, okay. Just like actually misogynist. You made that up when the women's movement came along. What else do we got? Homophobia. They make up, you know, and then lefties who write history

put it right in the urban dictionary, and then it's Islamophobia in the bill, which he argued would be made up based on individuals' political proclivities. They've been doing it forever. And by the intentional... Try telling that to somebody who votes Democrat. Just try telling them. They can't, they're so dumb, they can't even wrap their heads around. And by intentionally leaving the definition blank in this bill, the gentle lady, he says, and my friends on the other side of the aisle

are creating an office in our State Department that will likely spew anti-Semitic hatred and attack Western ideas throughout the world under the farce of protecting Islam. Right on the money, my friend. Democrats, furious at his remarks, furious, you can't handle the furious, immediately lodged a formal objection and asked Perry's comments to be stricken from the record. Ooh, they're playing hardball. God help me. God help the Republic of China. Democrat Rep. Debbie Dingell, no she's not an SNL character, of Michigan could be heard on the floor moaning. Apparently somebody heard on the floor saying to her colleagues, he called her a terrorist, we can't let this go.

Okay, Meredith Bernie Baxter, Bernie, Meredith, Meredith, Meredith Bernie Baxter. Bernie Meredith Meredith Bernie Baxter. The House parliamentarian later found that Perry made inappropriate remarks that were not in order with House rules.

Stick your rules up your giant box. The vote on Omar's bill comes just a few weeks after video emerged showing Bo Bear calling Omar a member of the Jihad Squad and claimed that a Capitol officer thought she was a suicide bomber in an encounter elevator on Capitol Hill. She's a malignant cunt.

That's all she is. Not Bo Bear. Let's keep that straight. Oh, my God. See how against free speech they are? Unless, again, it's somebody calling you a racist white old guy. You know, all white guys are a danger to the republic and the democracy. They can paint with a broad brush.

Nobody gets upset. An audible gasp was heard in the chambers. Yeah, that was Bernie Sanders. Somebody stepped on his air hose. Get the fuck off my hose, I almost died over there. I don't understand why I'm a Democrat, but she is a Jew hater. I know it. I hate them and I hate billionaires. My Bernie's coming around again. I hope he runs. Headline, murdering maggots set free.

Oh, my goodness. Who could that be referring to? O.J. Simpson is a free man. And when he, he, legally now he's free. And his first words were, hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. The 74-year-old former football, he's never looked better this chooch.

Look at him. He's thin, still has a black don't crack, we know that. They do crack, they won't crack. But does he not look good? He's got no wrinkles on his face the 74 year old former football hero and actor we know who he is acquitted california

murder defendant and convicted las vegas armed robber what a life i'm so boring was granted good behavior credits and discharged from parole effective December 1st. Nevada State Police spokeswoman Kim Yoko Smith said, Mr. Simpson is completely free man now, said Malcolm LaVerge, Simpson's lawyer in Vegas. Simpson declined an immediate interview. LaVerge said the attorney declined to talk about Simpson's future plans, including whether he intends to remain in Nevada. Simpson had told parole officers before his October 1st, 2017 release from prison that he planned to move

to Florida. We don't have enough killers in that state. He instead moved to a gated community in Vegas where he plays golf and bangs white women in their 60s and frequently takes to Twitter to offer opinions on how to slice a woman's throat with a spork. He offers opinions about college and pro sports. And it says, especially football. Who gives a fuck what you think? Nobody goes in for dating tips. He says, life is fine.

He told the Associated Press during a June 2019 interview. I think we have some footage of this mamalook. It'll be no problem, you know, and I think I kept my word. As I said, I've done my time. I just like to get back to my family and friends, and believe it or not, I do have some real friends, but... I say that too sometimes. Do you have any, no guilty complex there? What friend? Don't make me cut your throat.

Yeah, you got friends. You got your son who helped kill the coal. Couple of soulless lawyers, well, they're dead. A couple of soulless lawyers, well, they're dead. Anyways, Simpson's saga makes him, in the words of one Vegas trial lawyer, one of the most famous people on the planet. What planet would that be? Simpson served nine years in a Nevada prison for armed robbery.

This is after the murder. Oh, wait a minute, he did no time for the murder. What am I saying? Nine years after the robbery. His original, he was, by the way, he was stealing his own shit back. That's when you know you had a fucked up life. Louis C.K. had a great bit about that when I lived with him on the Upper West Side of New York. Somebody broke into his car and stole a bunch of shit.

And he saw a guy in our neighborhood wearing his watch. So we went up to the guy, and he goes to the guy, can you tell me what time it is? And the guy looked at the guy, and Louie goes, you've got to press the button. And I'm saying... His original parole discharge date was September 29, 2022. By last summer, that date had been moved up for good behavior to February 9.

The Nevada Board of Parole majority that ultimately granted his early discharge after a November 30th hearing cut his term by about three more months for good behavior. He worked in the kitchen. He shined shoes. He made license plates and jerked off to posters of Raquel Welch.

While on parole in 2019, Simpson sued a Vegas strip resort that banned him two years earlier. He allegedly unnamed employees defamed him. defamed him. Anyways, some employees allegedly defamed him by telling Celebrity News site he had been drunk, disruptive, and a bit unruly. There's something wrong with the black man's mind!

There's something wrong with his mind! Yeah, but did he cut any strippers' heads off? Isn't that the bottom line? The cosmopolitan of Las Vegas argues Simpson couldn't be defamed because his reputation was already tarnished by, you know, killing a wife and a waiter and doing armed robbery, shit like that. It'll be like saying you hurt Hitler's feelings. We are already tarnished by his criminal and civil trials

and by his conviction and imprisonment in Nevada. The two sides reached a March 31st out-of-court settlement for terms that were not disclosed. Laverne just said in June that Simpson also would continue to fight court orders that he owes at least $60 million in judgment stemming from the 1994 killing. Has he paid any of that from the civil suit? Mr. Goldman, why don't you have him take it out? Did you not love your son? I'm just saying.

I know you're Jewish, I'm Italian, but that's how it has to be handled. Because it wasn't handled properly. Even hire somebody. There's a guy named Tommy Nick who goes to Vegas every... He knows right where OJ's golf course. Hey, folks, if you haven't already, make sure to get circumcised.

I mean, to sign up at the Comics Gym or on Patreon to become a monthly supporter. You'll get access to the exclusive Encore story. Today, I'm talking about the wrinkled pig Pelosi and her brazen hypocrisy. And you'll also get access to the Nick DiPaolo Show phone number so you can leave a message for me like this one. G'day, Nick. It's Lee Priest from down under.

I have a question for you. Love it. Can you get me out of this fucking prison down here? I would come over there the illegal way, but it's too fucking far to swim from Australia. So if you put in a good word, tell them I'll be a training coach. I'll come over there and train you. But for seriousness, it's fucking hell down here.

And also, I've got to make you an honorary Australian. Your use of the word cunt is fantastic. We use it a lot down here. I know. Even though my mother says, Lee, the cunt's a beautiful thing and is useful. And I guess those women we call cunts aren't useful. But anyway, I'm living in hell down here, but still a great place

anyway, but love the show, keep up the great work, and hope to catch up and see you when I'm over there next year. Take care. The great Lee Priestley. This guy's a world-renowned bodybuilder, folks, and I'm an honorary Australian, and they need it right now. What happened to Australia?

I did not know they had that germ of Marxism or totalitarianism that just flourished out of nowhere. And as you guys know, Australia is a penal colony that England used to send their best and brightest over there. So sort of like Miami after the boat lift with the Scarface. But yeah, Lee Priest, he's been a great fan and do me a favor, Dallas, after this show, drop a picture, a bodybuilding picture of him in so people can see him. He's been a great, you've been a great

fan, Lee, and we would love to see you come over, have you on the show. My biceps are up to, I don't know, I'd say seven, eight inches. I've been doing the thing called, I don't know if you've tried this, Pilates. Oh, I could crack an egg with my asshole, sure. Thank you, Lee, so much, man. And yes, get the hell out of there if it gets too bad.

I can't believe what happened to Australia. But that's what I like about Australia. The guys are still, you know, when you read stories, we got to get that sound clip of the guy in the traffic rage accident. I bet you Lee played it on his show or on radio a thousand times. Anyways, thanks, Lee. Again, become a monthly supporter at thecomicsjam.com or on Patreon to get access to the phone line and the Daily Encore Show. Thank you guys so much for all the support. It is appreciated.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen, we just talked about a murderer who's out for free. OJ, so guess what? Murder legal in Chicago, too, kinda. What, Nick? What are you saying? Excuse me. A Chicago teenager who pleaded guilty to murdering a 15-year-old. The murder is 17.

A 15-year-old boy in a bad drug deal was given a wrist slap. He wasn't even given that. Sentenced to, get this, folks. This is his punishment. Three years probation, and he has to attend all the Jaguars games. What's left on his schedule. A wrist slap. He was given three years probation for murdering a 15-year-old kid.

No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Good old Chicago, huh? Do you guys, I know I'm preaching to the choir. Hopefully we'll get out to some people who don't know me. Can you see what's going on here? How we're upending society as we know it? Not us, the global elitists,

the power-hungry twats who want to run the world. Do you not see it? If I was a Marxist or Russian and I wanted to destroy America, I would be doing exactly what the Dems are doing, and Biden and the rest of them. 17-year-old defendant who hasn't been publicly named, I'll call him Willie, was sentenced on Monday in the fatal stabbing of Elias Valdez in the suburb of Glenview in August of 2020. He was given probation, 100 hours of community service.

Wow, what an outrage. In order to undergo counseling in exchange for pleading guilty to second-degree murder. You didn't give him any cookies and shit? Glass of milk? This poor kid's gone? Police said the stabbing unfolded after Valdez, who was a member of his high school wrestling team, tried to buy marijuana from the defendant, right?

from the defendant, right? Valdez was stabbed repeatedly in the chest with a utility tool after he tried to take the drugs without paying and got into a fight with the defendant. He was pronounced dead in the hospital later that day. And handing down his sentence, Cook County Judge Stephen Bernstein told the defendant, I see a child like you who has two parents concerned with his welfare, a bright kid with a bright future.

Really? That's what you got out of it? I see a violent sociopath. And I wonder what you're doing in my courtroom. Are you really? Are you wondering, Mr. Bernstein, you silly bastard? Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Hey, I don't think you're a murderer, but you killed this child, and you have to live with that for the rest of your life. I love when people say that. You think somebody, to kill somebody, you don't have a conscience. I don't care if you're 15 or 55.

You don't have a conscience. And believe me, it's the last thing they'll be thinking about. You'll forget about it a year from now. Thanks to Bernstein. Remember? And Scarface Thanks to Bernstein. Remember? And Scarface was a Bernstein. Well, there's an answer to that too, Tony. Defense attorney David Kirstein denied that his client had received special treatment.

Why don't you spit out the chestnuts that you're saving for the winter? There is no privilege here, he said. Oh, God. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. It takes two to make a drug deal. Mr. Valdez was a buyer, said the guy who apparently majored in math at Stupid University. So Valdez was

the buyer and he tried to steal it. Right? So that, according to this guy, it's justified. Isn't it kind of the logic right there or is it me? Maybe I'm missing something. Anyhow, what else we got, killer? No, no, no, no! Oh my goodness, sounds like my wife on her honeymoon. A sinister Florida woman admitted, boy, this one made me laugh, FLA, our FLA segments never disappoint, a

sinister Florida woman admitted to poisoning her longtime boyfriend by spiking his lemonade with antipsychotic medication because he wouldn't stop taking, I'm sorry, he wouldn't stop talking. I blew the best part of the story. She poisoned her husband because he wouldn't shut up. Ladies, you know how we feel. Thank you. Now have another cup of lemonade. Elvis Lorraine Parrish. Do all murderers have three names or do they just do that?

54. Here she is. That's Nick Nolte. Wrong picture. Holy shit. Look at this. She looks like a retired strong safety from the University of Arizona. She's got Bell's palsy.

She does. That left side of her face is drooping. I wonder what the guy was yapping about. It's so funny because, I mean, if you read this and they didn't mention the genders, you would have 99% would assume the guy killed the wife and I'd shut up. But you're going to call her a woman? Come on. Got to cock like a telephone pole.

Got to cock like a telephone pole. Anyways, Ms. Parrish, 54, yelled to deputies last week from the front porch of her triple-wide Jacksonville home, flatly confessing to lacing her partner's drink with Seroquel. Seroquel sounds like

something you take like NyQuil. Doesn't it? Apparently it's a little stronger. According to an arrest report obtained by she was putting Seroquel in the lemonade. She says, yeah, I did it because you wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Must have been that time. No, she doesn't have a vagina. Adding that she called authorities after giving the man just enough of the drug to quiet him down, but less than a lethal amount. Could somebody get me that amount? Dallas, look that up. Paris then vowed to kill the man as she was taken into custody, according to her. Boy, she's having a heavy day.

Do whatever you want, Paris said. If you don't take me, I will kill him. Seroquel, I think somebody else should be taken there. Must have been her supply. Seroquel is used to treat schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and being a progressive liberal, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Deputies found the man extremely lethargic inside the residence, where he said he didn't understand why he was so tired. Jesus Christ, you could have blamed it on COVID. I'm not sure why she would give me that, Parrish, partner of nine years, told deputies. I don't take Seroquel. And then he kept yapping in the coffin.

Shut up. The man initially refused to go to a hospital, but then had trouble filling out a report for alleged domestic battery due to his lethargic. You know how heavy those pens can get. Excuse me. He then realized his lemonade tasted weird. You know how heavy those pens can get. Excuse me. He then realized his lemonade tasted weird. Fill-in urine joke. And investigators found a powdery substance at the bottom of the drink.

I'll give you a hint. It wasn't Kool-Aid. Parrish, meanwhile, admitted to spiking the man's lemonade. and also, she called it an Arnold Palmer drink. The man, and also detailed her actions in a notebook, according to the arrest report. She also had this quote in high school. Sister's box. It's just dope. It's box. That's all right. It's not working.

Just forget that. Parrish remained jailed on 50 large. That's Italian for $50,000. $50,000 bond Wednesday. Wow. When it comes to white people, they actually kick it up a notch, don't they? She was charged with poisoning food or water

with intent to kill or injure a person. Now, if I'm the guy's lawyer, I go right there. It wasn't water. It was lemonade. Technically, I want a mistrial. Boy, scary people. Was that FLA? Yep.

This story sounds like it's fresh out of FLA, too. If you guys saw this in a movie, this scene, you'd be like, this is a funny movie. Must be the same people who did Vacation or whatever. But this, honest to God, this actually happened. Moments after robbing a Wells Fargo branch in Delaware, I already feel bad for the guys in Delaware. A man deposited some of the stolen loot in an ATM outside the bank's front door. Let me repeat that. He robbed the bank, went outside,

and went to the ATM and deposited. Fill-in Polish joke. Don Gavin, a great comedian, had a bit about robbing a bank from the drive-thru. You know that thing that comes down and you put a note in there, I have a gun, sends it back, Guy sends it back. I have a gun in here too.

He's like, I didn't expect gunplay. He goes back and forth for five minutes. Genius. Anyways, this jerk really did that. He stole the money and deposited it. What did he, guilty conscience? deposit? What did he, guilty conscience? Anyways, according to police who arrested the suspect on a felony charge, what, he's making a deposit? Jesus, he didn't burn down 12 city blocks in

Minneapolis, you people. Investigators say that Mick Roberts Williams, he looks like Stephen Wright from the eyebrows up, 44, approached a teller Saturday morning at a crowded Wells Fargo in Wilmington, handing her a note

reading, this is a robbery, I need $150, and where's the nearest ATM? After the 25-year-old bank employee provided Williams with the cash cash he fled the bank but apparently not in good shape he said i better drop the loot here but instead of racing from the crime scene like your average bank robber williams exited the wells fargo and made a deposit in the

atm on the exterior of the building the delaware state report says. They still haven't caught him. I mean, come on. Following the ill-advised pit stop, this might be my favorite crime of the century, Williams fled on foot to a nearby shopping center where he was taken into custody by state troopers. He had two lava lamps in his hands from sharper image and when they caught him he was putting them back on the shelf. As alleged in a probable cause affidavit Williams told police that the money had been deposited and was no longer on his person. Now he's representing himself. A detective reported that while no money was recovered from Williams, he was in possession of a Wells Fargo bank card. That's not enough. That's circumstantial. I guess you could connect the dots with the receipt. During a post-arrest interview, Williams reportedly confessed to the

bank robbery and said that the stolen cash was immediately deposited back into the Wells Fargo ATM. He claimed to have traveled to Delaware. This is where you learn a little more about the person. By riding on the exterior of a cargo train in that his mind is currently being controlled by a third party via implant located somewhere in his body. Watch out because I'm...

Cocoa Pop! Cocoa Pop! Cocoa Pop! Cocoa Pop! You know what's funny? These people that are really crazy, they always have this similar story. I'm being controlled by a chip in my neck. You know what I mean? That seems to be a symptom of schizophrenia. You're being controlled by fucking, by who else?

Mainstream media and the New York Times. No chip necessary. It really is getting crazy out there. This guy's almost as dumb. What a disappointment in Sicilians. No offense to Tom, my manager. It really is getting crazy out there. This guy's almost as dumb. What a disappointment in Sicilians. No offense to Tom, my manager. An Italian man.

Now, right there, Tommy, back me up on this. A Sicilian would get mad if you called him Italian and vice versa. Am I right? See this? I could be like a black person and go, didn't lump this all in with Caribbean or Hispanic. I'm Colombian, not Puerto Rican. How dare you people. Don't make me come over there.

Goddamn guineas really making fun. An Italian man, no, a Sicilian man, who received government welfare for years due to blindness, was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of fraud after being seen driving, window shopping, and riding a scooter. Again, this is great news. What kind of Sicilian criminal rides a scooter? Although, you know what? In Italy, I watched that whole series. Thank you, Gamora. Maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen on TV. And the gangsters had Vespers and shit.

The man in Palermo received at least 170,000 euros. received at least 170,000 euros. That's about 191 grand in benefits since 2008 after attesting that he was totally blind as a result of congenital problems, local media reported. Then the cops saw his wife and they said, yes, you are. She had handlebar mustache and calves

like Will McEnany. I don't even know who that is. Italy's financial police alerted after the man renewed his driver's license in 2018, despite his earlier declaration. Oh, my God. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. During stakeouts, authorities witnessed the man driving while dialing on his phone at this.

I can't do that with two good eyes. Tommy cuts and pastes. He makes posters while he's driving. Looking at his phone at the same time as he's driving. Looking at his phone at the same time as he's working. Looking at shop windows while walking through a busy mall and teaching his daughter to ride a bike.

She was hit by a truck. Not my dad! You also hear something ugly as fucking doodly. Not my dad! not my dad. You're not my dad. The 40-year-old Sicilian was also seen riding a scooter. He come to my house and asked me to...

Anyways, riding a scooter without insurance, that's it! Can you imagine? They charge them in Sicily, trying to whack you because you don't have insurance for your scooter? Is that him with a hut brought on the back? No, of course not. It's a stock photo. And anytime you see a picture of Italy, there's always some guy, a fountain guy pissing. It's my favorite line in The Sopranos ever.

Bobby Bacalazzo to Tony. Yeah, I saw him at the, whatever, the home garden sale at the home. I was buying a fountain. Kid pissing. at the Honda. I was buying a phone. Kid pissing. Anyways, he's a real rebel. He has no insurance with his scooter.

Adding that the man was nicknamed Berlusconi after Italy's former prime minister with a history of legal problems. You could have picked anybody, and that's who you picked to name? My God. You're going to tell me he doesn't know that they're like, cops are watching?

He's doing everything people... It's just funny when you get caught doing window shopping and it's like those guys who file for disability you know uh whatever a sanitation guy you know i hurt my back and they catch him playing handball dead lifting 800 pounds in his garage that type of shit i don't do that folks i've been working since I was 33. Just a clean-cut kid. That's it. That's all I got, folks. I don't know what to tell you.

Another great week. I feel way more famous than I did on Monday. Fuck you! Oh. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! That was my manager yelling at me. That is it, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't forget to watch the NFL and the Patriots smoke the Colts. That'll be a good one. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. That is a permanent home of this place. You can sign up monthly there, too. And it's a terrific place. Also, and by the way, thecomicsgym, you don't have to wear a mask there. And then we have nickdip.com.

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