The Nick DiPaolo Show - It’s Official: Portland a S-hole | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1801

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about Katie Porter Pissed, A “Head” Case in NY, Trump’s Successful Border, Problems in Portland, Newsom Loses School District, Jerry Jones’ Extended Finger and a Div II Dogpile! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

POMAYORILEEN SULLIVANILEEN SULLILE. I have Nick the pig as a friend. Fuck you call him pig. Oh, who'd you call it? Banana Bo. What'd you think you're talking to you, white piece of bread? I didn't know you were so censored about your social status. Hey, why'd you're cock them crazy?

you get a look on your eyes like you ain't been fucked any year it's a type of shit I sat on the dance floor resulted in zero pussy how are you folks that was some scarphrase if you don't know that you shouldn't be watching the show anyways uh I have a button here that controls yet hadn't even turned it on yet um anyways welcome to the live lineup

you uh excuse me that's new ports Welcome to live lineup where you get my show, all the other great shows that are scrolling by for free. And now you can get Glenn Greenwald, one of the best journalists, live right here at 7 p.m., right after my show. If you want to watch it all ad-free, sign up for Rumble Premium.

And don't forget to download the Rumble app. I heard apps are good. Today I'll be talking about a woman who says she's a woman. She's running for governor in California, and she looks like Art Garfunkel in a dress. And we got what we call a headcase in New York. Some kid did something very bad to his mother's boyfriend. It almost turned my stomach.

But I got a little chub, too. You can put that. You can count this. Anyways, also, you know, Trump's border is as tight as a nun on Easter, as they say. And write that one into. Uh, problems in Portland and Newsom said something. Well, didn't say something, but a big high school district, let's say, abandoned him in California. And I think it shows his true colors.

Anyways, how you doing, kids? Anybody catch Yankees last night? Of course, I put on Mariners, Detroit. It was like an hour, two-hour rain delay. That fucks up by recording. Go to the Yankees. And, of course, you know, halfway through that game, they give me what the sports. scores of the other game and ruin everything.

Then I said, why am I trying to... I said, I can't fight the system. Just watch one game. And then my wife gave me pills and I fell asleep. And then I... Yeah. I took one Advil PM last night and I think it did the trick. I don't know what's going on in my body. It's like I'm fucking possessed. And I pick up the goddamn phone, which is the biggest mistake you can make in bed. Because they've done studies, that light affects your brain even when you shut the phone off.

I do all the wrong things you know have a pot of coffee some coke I don't know why I can't sleep I remember Norm MacDonald came to New York I might have told this already he was standing at some hotel

and he texted me hey I'm at the four seasons blah blah blah blah I go up there folks I had done like four sets it's like 1.30 in the morning in New York City I go up to his room he opens the door he's got a fucking

mug of coffee in his hands and I go, you're drinking he invites me, not only does it have a mug he's got a pot of coffee. It's like fresh from room service. It's 1.30 at the morning. He's fucking drinking what are you doing? And I could hear his stomach

making these weird sounds and I think about it now how, you know, the cancer and all that shit still made me laugh. God, we just sit there and bullshit for hours. He's drinking coffee like it's known in a diner. Mmm. Why did I bring that up?

Huh? Coffee. Are you sleeping? God. Anyways, Yankees were getting the shit kicked out of him last night, which I was enjoying. It's almost as fun as watching the Red Sox win when you are Red Sox fan, watching the Yankees get slapped around.

And it was 6 to nothing at one point, or 6 to 1? Like, right up until like, what, the 6th inning or so? Past the midway point and it looked like they were going to get, you know, flushed out of the playoffs. three straight and all of a sudden something clicked and there was a call by the ump that was what was oh yeah there was a um catcher interference the guy's bat hit the catcher's glove and then they show it in super slow course they have to send it to the guys in new york with a thousand screens again analyzing it like it's a Kennedy assassination and it was clear that the catchers glove

was hit by the bat but um he wasn't intending to swing. So, you know, this is where you learn. I guess that's what the imp said. He wasn't, and it didn't look like he was in. He kind of checked his swing. So I guess that's what. So when they came back, they said, no,

and I was like Boone at first before somebody started. What the, boom goes, what the fuck are you doing? You can read his lips. And right after that, the next pitch, somebody got a double or something. It's sort of sometimes shit like that old, right? It just sparks you enough. You see, you manage, you're getting pissed or whatever. Anyways, Aaron Judge, who was not known for his playoff magnificence, as great as he is,

he's having a good playoff this year. He's got like 12 hits and, you know, games against the socks and these three here. And he homered, he had a couple hits, and then Homer hit the foul pole and left field, free-run Homer. And then that little jazz chisham, I call him a jazz. I call him... No, his real... Yeah, that's right.

I call him Chaz Jism. It's not clever. I should sell that to Joe Buck, whoever's doing the fucking games. But that little black dude who... He just... He reminds me a guy named Mickey Rivers, if you guys in my age, in the 70s.

Yankees had a guy named Mickey Rivers, little skinny black dude looked like he weighed 180 pounds, so he went. He walked dinktoed. You'd think he was crippled the way he walked, but he ran about a 4-2-40. And we used to hate him as a red, Because of Brawl broke out,

the Thurman Monson Brawl would call him Fis, one of the best ever. And he was running around rabbit punching people as black fellas will do in the back of the fucking and again,

I don't know what this is about me. It made me hate him for that night, but then I became a fan. Shh, don't tell anybody. But this guy, yeah, jazz. They named his kid jazz.

They named the kid jazz. Oh, I hit the button. Stay! Anyways, he gets up. I think it's tied. And he blasts one. He's a lefty. Hit 31 home is this year or something?

A little second basement. Perfect for Yankee Stadium. And anyways, my memory's so bad, I don't even remember watching the end, but it ended, right? Who caught the flock? I didn't even remember the last out. Anyways, just the moral of the story

is they all came through. Even friggin, who I think is one of the most overrated players of all time, Jean-Carlo Stanton, who swings like if If you were teaching your sister to play baseball or your brother, who is seven, your feet aren't supposed to move when you swing. And he's just a huge, he's just got wide shoulder.

You can see his arms and naturally, and he puts no hip into it, no legs, it's all arm. And yet, he hits the ball harder than anybody in baseball. They do that velocity off the bat. He's always, like, in the top three, leads. You can tell when he hits a. single to left field. It almost knocks the fucking left field. They're overfielding. It's like Herman Munster.

Why did I bring him up? He did something. I think he had a couple big... So the big guys came through for the Yankees. That's about all I got, I guess. Oh, my... I got to go to dinner tomorrow. You know me. I'm a fucking couch potato.

My wife's kind of colleges, who's... He would get along great he's he's a he's a conservative guy he doesn't listen to my pod he loves my you but he doesn't like he goes I can't too much cursing I go what the fuck what do you 195 priest and you know and then he'll say something like what's a difference between me and a what are the people that look up your family genes what do you call those yeah genealola I guess what's it between I mean a genealogist looks up your family tree.

I look up to family bush. He told me that the first time I met him. And then I go to him, you know, you've seen my wife's privates. I said, she just told me you see her tits too. You're checking for lumps? I go, this is the biggest scam ever. He's fucking laughing. Meanwhile, I'm on my stomach.

He's putting capsules in my ass. And I'm saying this shit. And all of a sudden, I'm like, hey. Anyways, he, I like him a lot. And anyways, he texts me. Hey, you want to go to dinner? He has an Italian friend out of here. He goes, this guy reminds me of you so much.

He's been asking me forever. And so we're going to dinner. He goes, you want to go? He goes, you pick the restaurant. And I go, well, seeing what you do for living, let me guess. Fish. Joe Stonecrab. All the pussy jokes you can handle.

I'll ask you, Dallas, as you're pretty good at knowing the restaurants. Have you ever heard of Flora and Fauna? Yeah. Have you? We haven't been there. Is it downtown? Yeah. Flora and fauna.

Doesn't exactly scream good food. Screams vegetarian. Yeah. Flower. Isn't flora flour? Fauna? I fauna all over her. She got a nice dits.

Oh, delicious. You and you're delicious. We're going to get Dallas some help. It's fucking delicious things burn into its mind. Anyhow, yeah, that's about it. Oh, one other thing, Jeopardy. I've already already complained about this. Somebody has to investigate that show about the gay agenda.

And if you notice, gay people always portrayed as very smart and stuff in sitcoms. And, you know, they always make the straight guy the dope and whatnot. And I don't know if they have a fucking complex about being done. But Jeopardy, you can't go. more than one, two episodes without having at least two gay, and a tranny. Trannies, they drop a tranny in once every 10 episodes. And I'm trying to say to my wife, first of all, she can't pick up on the trend.

I go, that is a fucking, that was a woman who, you know, and they can fool you, but, you know, I have Gaydar, I have Tranar and HDD, all that shit. luxury cable package you know a guy last night he's got but he's got a woman's voice and just his facial feature

I go how many are they gonna well what's it matter Nick it matters a lot because you don't you can't again gay people are about 8% of the total popular if that and trannies are about 0.01% but they're on every episode of Jeopardy come on

you're not fool of me And I picked up on the shit in high school. People call me crazy. Well, they're not in that shooting incident at the gym. But listen, Gapagabagoole. All right, let's get on with it. Katie Porter pissed. California gubernatorial hopeful.

Katie Porter snapped and tried to storm out of an interview after being asked a simple question about President Trump with a Democrat raging. I don't want this all on camera. she is trying to look like a woman. And there she is painted by Picasso. It doesn't look like the coloring of a Picasso pan? And you're not going to

tell me, can't you see? This is almost what I was talking about. She didn't have a tranny, but it wouldn't be too many steps to a guy. Look at her. She looked like my Uncle Al when he was in college. Let me help you out, Democrats. One of the big problems is, and you know why

young men abandon you, Lesbians, I'm going to say this a million times. It's a DiPaulo theory. And again, not all of them. The pretty ones, hey. But the ones that go into politics, do you understand they're angry at the world? They don't see through the lens

that most of us see the world through. And you can say that of trannies or a black person doesn't see the way white person does. But especially lesbian women. And you guys cannot fucking laugh. me or whatever the fuck. Again, when I'm dead and gone, you go, hey, he had that right, too. They are pissed at the fucking world. Look at her. She never had a chance. Art Garfunkel. Yeah, so she loses her shit. The irritated ex-California rep, who once allegedly dumped

steaming mashed potatoes, I remember hearing about this, on her then hubby's head, was recorded trying to pull the plug on the sit down with the CBS reporter last month. month. So again, she's living a lie. Why you say that? Well, she's got a husband. She likes fucking women more than I do. You can see it in her cheekbones and her giant forehead. And her husband's living a lie thinking banging that. You're gay fella. Nick, you're really taking some, yeah, whatever. But the anger, Democrat Party, they're not helping you. Do you understand? And every time we see a female judge or a CEO, they're always, not always, but it seems like 90% gay women. They always have the Newt Gingrich haircut and the hornroom glasses.

Footage of the bizarre encounter, which aired Monday and quickly started going viral. Excuse me. Captured Porter flipping out when the reporter pointed out that her balls were hanging out of her skirt. asked how she planned to win Republican votes as she tries to replace Governor Gavin Newsom. I'd say she's more masculine than Newsom. But that's all the question was.

How are you going to win the Republican vote? You're in California. And watch how angry. And you don't have to be a gay woman to be, you have to be a Democrat right now. And they lash out. The minute you ask them something tough or doesn't fit their fucking narrative,

you can see, It's so funny, they think they're tolerant. The minute you corner them on anything, the anger comes to the surface. Here you go, watch a little of this. You don't have an experience. You just said you don't need those Trump. Pause.

Got the body of Art Donovan. He used to play for the cults. It used to be on a letterman all the time. All right, good. You asked me if I needed them to win. So you don't think you need to. I feel like this is unnecessarily argumentative. What is your question?

Pause. She's a reporter. She's doing a follow-up. That's unnecessarily argumentative in her eyes. Hey, I'm doing the interview. I would love to see this broad go, you know what? He's she? Get back to the gym and do your fucking deadlifts.

Yeah, pig. Go ahead. The question is, the same thing I asked everybody. That this is being called. She didn't back down. Sorry, go ahead. Called the empowering voters to stop Trump's power grab. Every other candidate has answered this question.

This is not. And I said, I support it. So, and the question is, what do you say to the 40s? of voters who voted for Trump. Oh, I'm happy to say that. It's the do you need them to win part that I don't understand. I'm happy to answer the question as you haven't written and I'll answer it. And we've also asked the other candidates, do you think you need any of those 40% of California voters to win? And you're saying, no, you don't. No, I'm saying, I'm going to try to win every vote I can. And what I'm saying to you is that. Well, to those voters. Okay. So you don't know what you're saying.

I'm going to call it. Thank you. Pause. But now, she's going to call the interview. because this woman's doing her job. Because they don't hear follow-ups. They're in their little, ensconced in their little lip bubble. They don't talk to anybody who thinks differently than them.

And when they sit down like that, you've seen this on Meet the Press, face the nation, Hillary, two minutes in, she gets all flustered and angry. And I'm as mercurial as they get, okay? Amma's not as quick to anger than these brides. They hate God because he was napping. he built them.

He was like Artie Bucco and the Sopranos when Tony got fucking food poisoning from his clams at the restaurant. He goes, Tom and I was cleaning the clams by stuff. We are cleaning them or dazing off and looking at something. Go ahead. This ain't over yet. You're not going to do the interview with us.

Nope, not like this. I'm not. Not with seven follow-ups to every single question you ask. Every other candidate has answered our followers. I don't care. I don't care. I want to have a pleasant. positive conversation, which you ask me about every issue on this list. See you next Tuesday. And if every question, you're going to make up a follow-up question, then we're never going to get there.

Pause. Oh, okay. So I'm supposed to do it the way you want. Do you see? She doesn't have the temperament. It's why I didn't take up golf. Go ahead. And we're just going to circle around.

I have never had to do this before, ever. The reporter said, I don't care. You've never had to. to have a conversation with a reporter. Okay, but every other candidate has done this. What part of, I'm me, I'm running for governor because I'm a leader. So I am going to make. So you're not going to answer questions from reporters?

Okay, why don't we go through? I will continue to ask all of questions because that's my job as a journalist, but I will go through. Because another reason, she's quick to anger. This girl's kind of cute. You know, I mean, she hates her immediately. You've got to read the fucking room, folks. Go ahead.

If you don't want to answer, you don't want to answer. That was the mean girl in high school. So nearly every legislative... I don't want to have an unhappy experience with you. And I don't want this all on camera. I don't want to have an unhappy experience with you either. I would love to continue to ask these questions so that we can show our viewers... When every candidate feels about every one of these issues that they care about.

And redistricting, it's a massive issue. We're going to do an entire story just on the responses to that question. And I've asked everybody the same follow-up questions. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Nobody can hear you. Nobody cares about you.

Nothing will come with this. Nothing will come with this. After the footage started spreading on social media like Chlamydia in the 90s, Porter's campaign said the interview, which was recorded last month, continued for additional 20 minutes. Yeah, she sat on in the reporter's chest.

A Porter who launched her gubernatorial campaign, in March, has previously been hit with claims she bullied staffers. See how they are? Kamala, right? Remember they said she was a fucking tyrant? We know Hillary was a twat. Her ex-husband, Matthew Hoffman, also alleged, this is her ex-husband. I like to see what he's like.

I think he won Miss Universe. Also alleged in their divorce proceedings that she frequently abused him verbally and through toys. I'm guessing sex toys, books and other objects at him during their marriage, even once pouring scalding hot mashed potatoes on his head during a fight. That one I don't believe because she's not going to waste mashed potatoes. Are you with me? Anyhow,

do you see her temperament? Just horrible. You got to give it the no-sum at least. He can fake it. He's a good fucking actor like most politicians. Have we ever seen Trump get mad? In the last 15 years, all's he'll go, all's he'll do. Remember who was questioning? Oh, that friggin, that brought from CNN with a hairy arms. I forget her name.

One minute, she looks cute, and then she looks like a man in the next second. He goes, you're a nasty little person. That's his, that's his, but see, that's what salesmen. Same thing. You can't lose your cool when you're trying to sell, which I never got down. I was a daughter-door-door slay. I'd do my whole pitch for 20 minutes later because I don't want anything. I would slam the box

and shut, slam her door on the way up and then they would call the office. And my boss would go, my boss at a salesman and he would go, at least Apollo's getting complaints. That means he's knocking a million doors. That I'd take him to this out of a look.

You might get a call from a lawyer. I threw a pork chop at this line. Anyways, yeah, good luck with that gubernatorial race, Dick Butkus and a dress. Let's move on to. He lost his head and so did his victim. The disturbed Staten Island. Billantine, accused of killing his mother's boyfriend, allegedly gave a full, gory confession,

including that he planned to liquefy the body in a blender. How big is your blender? Holy Jesus, I have trouble getting three bananas and some ice cubes in there. And what button do you hit, puree? And flush it down the toilet. So, you know, how many times you get to fill that blender for a full guy and the bones? It's a, I tried it. Flesh it down a toilet, starting with the brain.

Law enforcement. This is what he told the cops. Damien. Uh-oh. Bad name. Matter of fact, every time I hear that name, I hear this. I'm just thinking of this now. Sorry, folks.

But if you saw the movie, you'll get a kick out of it. Every time I hear, uh, Nick, don't choke. Anyways. What do you do? Remember the movie? Kid's name was Damien. Damien Herzl, 19 allegedly calmly admitted to cops that the NYPD's 120th precinct that he fatally bludgeoned the 45th.

year old sanitation department worker over the head with a meat tenderizer he was all about food wasn't he did you give him a dry rub for us meat tenderized because he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone we've all had those thoughts in traffic arguing with the wife come on you don't follow through if you're going to you know anyways uh this is him being taken out, right? Out of the apartment. The fucking his sister comes home and finds the guy's chopped up.

The mother's boyfriend's head off and I'm sure she'll be right the rest of a life. Here they are. Tell them, you've got to take a nap, kid. You're cranky. It's called the gurney. Get on it. Watch out because I'm Co-co-pot, co-co-pop!

Cucco-coco-cocop! Coo-upac-cocop! I love that. Oh, God. Even commercials are better back than for cereal. They're friggin hilarious. Can you imagine this fucking... Is anybody...

Mental health is a huge issue. Again, this is where we need Elon Musk. He solves huge problems. But before he does the mental health thing, I want him to, and I'm dead serious about this, put aside your rockets and shit. If you can get a rocket to parallel park like you do,

can you work on the airlines updating that industry? Because we've been doing the same rules, whether it's going through TSA, the seats are the same size, the planes with the luggage. Can we fix that? No industry has been less progressive

than it hasn't changed the speeches of this. Only thing that changes is now people get on and flip-flops in their underwear and a bathrobe smoking a joint. The alleged spare no details confession came after cops, took Herzl, who has a long history of mental illness into custody Monday evening. Hurtzell allegedly told police the brutal slaying unfolded after he argued with his mom during the morning, prompting her boyfriend, who still has not been publicly identified. Let's call him tender, to tell him to take a walk.

The boyfriend said, take a walk to calm down. I'll take a walk and beat you over the head with it. You know, a Chinese walk. Good night, everybody. The agitated Herzl allegedly returned home to find his mother gone, leading to an altercation. So he went for the walk. Something pissed him off.

Oh, that's right. He lives in Staten Island. He remembered where he lived. That ended with him beating the boyfriend to death. with a meat tenderizer, and again, no dry rub. After first attempt to sever the victim's head, he said, with a kitchen knife, it failed, prompting the sick bastard to grab a handsaw from a shed

to finish the grisly job. Now, where is this guy when I wanted to fix my back steps? He was in Staten Island. He goes to the shed and gets a saw like he's making a go-cart for his kids or something. He then allegedly used a hammer in a failed attempt, to remove the boyfriend's brain. Really? Hammond didn't help you get a brain out of a head?

You need ice tongs, you're a fucking moron. But he was interrupted by his sister arriving home from school, leading to the shocking discovery and his eventual arrest. Come back, Diane. It's your... Herzl is from the Bronxel.

No, was expected to be arraigned on murder. in criminal possession of a weapon and imitating Gordon Ramsey. Nothing? Terrell, come on. What, you got no sense of human? That was great. No, I'm talking about the crime. Come on, it's Staten Island, dude. This happens on a Tuesday.

Nobody blinks. I know. Can you imagine coming home like you said? Ufa. Best, the closest I got to that was staying up when my sister Gina in high school lied to my parents about where she was going. And it's midnight. My dad gets a call from the, by the way, my sister's birthday, Gina yesterday, gets a call from the some town in New Hampshire's police. She was at a party with the rest of her friends after high school.

This kid, Duke, St. Pierre, who went on to play for the Packers a little bit, quarterback. handsome. St. Pierre's were all handsome, strong athletes. He's like Mr. Popular. Apparently he was having a party somewhere up in some camp. I come home drunk. It was just like a scene out of the product. I go, I'm staying up to see this. I see my father, and I'm not kidding you, I pull in the driveway. We have a glassed-in room that, you know, you can see into it. Luckily, my sister lives next door. At the time, it was my grandparents. But you can see into it. If you drove by my house, my father's up in his underwear pacing and the fucking And I go, oh, this is going to be great.

Like an hour and a half later. The cop said, yeah, we got your daughter. And, you know, they took the names of everybody there. And so my father stayed up. And I stayed up to watch her. She comes in the house. Nice smack across the face. I was like, I'm not the only one.

Just to, I mean, when he hit me, my ears would ring for a week. And he'd do it, you know. at the dinner table with a backhander. I wouldn't even, I'd say something wise as I'm reaching for the garlic bread. She'll see you got a nice smack in a face. I said, yeah, you fucking, no. It's a scene in Sopranos where

Meadow, same thing. Tony's waiting for her to come home from a date or whatever. And the Anthony stays up. He's like, I want to see this. He's like, get the fuck upstairs. What are you yowing at me for? She did it. All right, folks.

Folks, let's move on to a little politic. Geez, I haven't even mentioned Trump, really. Headline, Trump, Five, Migrants and Nothing. For the fifth consecutive month this year, President Donald Trump's Department of Homeland Security has released zero. Gee, that was real hard to fix, huh? Would it take a Tuesday?

Released zero migrants into the United States interior. September marked the fifth consecutive month with zero releases. by the Border Patrol along the Southwest border, compared to 9,144 releases in September of last year. DHS officials boasted in a new, everything the Biden administration did was illegal. Everything.

They should all be in jail. Anybody who fucking liked them should be in jail, who voted for them. That's right, half the country, which they didn't. You all should be in jail. He was, remember he was flying people in in the middle of the night? invading, helping to invade this fucking country

and bring it down. May he burn in hell. I'm fucking glad his white died. What? Oh, shut up. So I go too far. Anyways, here's a video of somebody boasting about the... Oh. This is what it looked like, right, last year.

And I sure, I couldn't even... That's just one family of Puerto Rican's. I mean, Mexico. Remember this, folks? Remember the caravans with all the... OI. The elimination of the federal government's catch and release policy.

Remember they come over the border, you pretend to catch them and then hand them a paper saying, you've got to show up in court two years from now. Even they try to... I still hear people saying, Obama, he deported moral illegals

and blah, no, no, no, that's not how it worked. They stepped over the fucking... Remember, if they stepped over one foot into the thing, catch them and let them go and count that as a elimination of the federal government's catch and release. What is this, a bass competition?

Catch and release policy is a massive victory for the Trump administration, particularly after former president, he wasn't the president. He didn't win the election. And then when he was the president, he wasn't the president. I was closer to the presidency. after former Joe Biden blew the pipeline wide open with a network.

Look at them. You go fuck yourself, convict. Wow. Under Biden, it is estimated that the millions of migrants were released into the U.S. interior in just four years. Biden's Catch and Release Network,

that was a gay bar catching release in the village. I loved it. You ever see a glory hole, folks? Was aided by several non-governmental organizations. That's an NGO or a, you know what, with a financial stake in getting as many migrants into the U.S. Right there, that's violating the Constitution.

Remember, his number one job was to protect you and I, into the U.S. Interior as possible, as their federal contracts and budgets dependent. Let's remind the people again why they were bringing in 15 to 20 million for the votes. For the fucking votes. And every time somebody brought that up on Fox News or somewhere else, you guys are paranoid fucking nutcase bag. Last year, for instance, I have smegma.

What did I eat this morning? Oh, yeah, the cat. You know, who? What the hell is this? that. Anyways, last year, for instance, Alliance for a Safe Texas, right there I read that, Alliance for a Safe Texas, and I go, well, it's one of those left-wing things pretending to be democracy for America. The Red, White, and Blue Company. Anyways, Alliance for Safe Texas issued the bombshell report that revealed how the Biden administration, oh, maybe this was a good,

not anyways how the Biden administration funneled nearly 800 million to catholic charities oh this was a watchdog group so they were good uh to ca i know catholic charities what are you doing you know what I mean what are you hoping there's a whole bunch of oh I know what you were doing you couldn't wait to see a bunch of young um you know young soldier age males coming over from south and central America am I right father Mulcahy Catholic Charities USA to help facilitate its illegal immigration pipeline. It's the only time you'd never see

lefties protesting in front of a Catholic church. Also under Trump, DHS officials, note, fiscal year 2025, ended with the fewest southern border crossings in 55 years. imagine that with less than 238,000 migrants

crossing in the last 12 months they're bringing drugs they're bringing crime they're rapists and some I assume are good people but they're bringing actually good recipes for avocados 238,000 still quite a bit

but I wonder how much of that was September, October, November, December, before he was inaugurated and able to sign executive order. So I'd be curious to see the January to September numbers. But those are migrants. So it doesn't say illegals. Those are migrants. You know I mean?

They might even be legal. I don't know. It's, I really am. And people, like I said yesterday, getting angry with Pam Bond because he's not. But again, we know how long it takes. And you don't just arrest. people and shit. If you did, they'd all be in jail from Adam Schiff, everybody. They just

fuck this country in the ass for four years. And we see now how much they really hate us. That fat fuck Pritzker, again yesterday, using the word Nazi in posts. And this is after fucking Kirk is killed. Trump almost assassinated twice. And there's a direct link there. You guys know that, right? We have to get rid of the people in this country that are fooled by the left-wing lying, which is anybody who votes Democrat. Get out of my country. You're here to save democracy? No, you're here to fuck it up. You wouldn't know democracy if you'd bitch you in the ass. Problem in Portland, and I'm not talking about Maine. Portland, Maine, how you doing? God, how are you doing? Portland, Oregon. I don't know why anybody would

go there. When I was a kid, Oregon was a nice west coast kind of a hunting ducks. That's why they, right? That's how I remember it. And then all of a sudden as an adult I watched it turn into diarrhea. Portland, Oregon business owners sounded

the alarm over the city's crime crisis Tuesday as President Trump faces legal roadblocks from probably a bunch of appellate judges that look like you know, Steve McQueen, women. Oh, what?

Faces legal roadblocks in keeping federal troops on the ground to help mitigate the problem. We need help here, said Amy Nichols. Didn't you date Amy Nichols in the 40s? Here's Amy Nichols and a small business owner in Portland, and here's what she had to say.

Amy, you have two businesses in Portland, two restaurants. Has crime impacted your businesses? Pause, she goes, she that's why you had me on here what if she said no I'm fucking fine why do you guys even call me I almost did that when they they wanted me to come on I told her to comment on

and I kind of didn't answer the way they wanted to and ooh they weren't happy and I didn't do it intentionally I just thought about the question and I suck on TV go ahead yes absolutely in fact yesterday morning I was broken again for the 10th time pause broken again for the 10th time 10th time a restaurant's been broken into.

We've lost it. We've fucking lost all, anyway. I will say that the police responded very quickly, which was a better ticket times as far as getting them to the site quicker. So that was very helpful. Pause. Stop with a fucking frozen boy, the fried voice.

That's another thing on Jeopardy. Every woman on it does the fried voice. Go ahead. How do you feel about National Golf? in Portland. What do you think about that? What are your thoughts? I think the hunkies. I, we need help here and something needs to be done. So if this is what we need to do to get our leaders paying attention to what's happening in Portland, then I think it's a good thing. They do need help. And again, I go on the internet. Again, it's 2.30 in the morning.

I'm wide awake, doing one-arm pull-ups. And I saw a black dude on the internet. And you see a lot of these. A black dude who lives like in the hood in Chicago screaming at the other people, at the other brothers who are shooting at ISIS and going, you fuck, we want the motherfuckers here, you know, and defending ICE and Trump. Because we always pay lip service to that, but these people are afraid to leave their houses.

You know, we sort of, we pay lip service to it, and you don't think of it. You take for granted how we live. And, you know, only you know Pritzker I don't know why

every year the Dems find the new face that makes me it started with Hillary they make Pelosi and then friggin Adam Schiff

now it's Pritzker if I saw that fat fuck on the sidewalk honest and God I'd say who's gonna meet tenderizing hammer we've been struggling

for a long time since 2020 and it's really difficult to do business in downtown Portland. We need all the help we can get. If this creates a bit of peace in our city and shows that there are really

some issues happening, the lady says then, yeah, we want them here. Loretta Guzman, owner of Bison Caw, have you had Bison Coffee? It's gross. Bison Coffee House. I mean, it's got the word bison in it. That's how I know Oregon was kind of a nice

bucolic community at one time and not the center of Antifa. Bison Coffee House in Portland and has had her own run-ins with crime. She previously told Fox News about her plans to install bulletproof glass after criminals shattered a coffee shop's windows. But crime also invaded her personal life

when she heard gunfire while in bed one night. I was trying to say her prayers. Our father who I didn't have... Why the curtains open? Guzman jumped up and looked around but saw nothing. Moments later, her nephew's girlfriend knocked on her door to tell her he had been shot. When she called 911, she didn't get a response. So I called 911 and got, called it again, got a recording in the middle of a life and death situation.

Folks, this isn't accidental. You understand that? A recording. I tried to go get my car so I could try to save him. And people were standing around when I pulled up next to his car. And nobody would help me lift him. He was like 240 pounds. So he ended up dying with me, with me praying on him.

And that doesn't even really like make the news other than this article. And that's not just in Portland. I'll say it again, Republicans. If you guys aren't in power for the next 40 years because they're not just a little confused the dumps, they're imploding. Everything they stand for and believe in is imploding. And they're going to, and you know they're going to

fucking try to steal the midterms or whatever the fuck. They're already out there saying Trump, Pritzke's out there on the internet, I'm saying Trump's going to use the National Guard on Election Day. And all this horse shit. Again, projection, it's what they do. It's, oh, my God.

Let's move on to my favorite politician slash shape shifter. Newsom loses biggest California high school district on trans athletes issue. He's been wobbling on this issue. Remember a couple months ago he was on a podcast, rethinking it, you know, after it became very unpopular and everybody knows men. All words. Yeah, all words. No action.

Again, after the temperature changes, and, you know, he's like, yeah, maybe, but, but, but, again, like you said, no action. The biggest high school district by enrollment and land area in the state of California voted three to two to adopt a Title IX resolution that would only allow female students and girls sports on money. That was Trump's executive order. The vote comes as the state's educational agencies face a lawsuit from the United States Department of, of justice for alleged Title IX violations by allowing biological males to play in girls' sports. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you.

Now here's two girls who say protect girls from black fellas. There's no some pretending he's Elvis. Current high school district, regularly enrols more than 40,000 students. That state is huge, by the way. Excuse me. And employs more than 1,700 staff per year across its 31 schools.

Now it becomes the 16th school district, individual school or Board of Education in California, to adopt an amendment to comply with Title IX, rejecting the current state policy that protects trans athletes and girls' sports. 16 school district Yeah Sounds like the people want to change They agree with Trump on this one I want to know how that woman

Porter Whatever they have the angry Dyke that we just watched Lose it in interview I wonder how she feel The resolution was authored by Chino Valley Unified School District Board of Education

Chino's with his great prison President Sonia Shaw Shaw's district is one of the 16 in California to also pass a resolution on the issue. There she is standing in the, in a field in Tuscany. I don't know. I authored this resolution, she said, to be the voice of our communities, to stand with

our girls and protect the truth that should have never been silenced, she said. Boys are boys and girls are girls. Hey, cut it out with your wet dreams and your crazy talk. God made them beautiful just the way they are. Well, I guess you haven't seen that broad Kim, who's running for governor of estate. It must have been shit-faced when he threw that together. Current County School District, which is separate from current high school district, of course it is, just to make life more complicated. But shares a county was one of the other districts to propose its own resolution back in August.

Trans athletes have been legally allowed to compete in girls' sports under California state law dating back to 2013. President Donald Trump signed the keeping men out of women's sports and bathrooms. Executive order back in February. But the California Interscholastic Federation, that's the SIF, became one of the first high school sports to sports leagues in the country to announce it wouldn't comply with the orders. You pompous, stock-up, snop-nosed, English, giant, twerps, scumbag, fuck-faced dickhead, asshole. Was that Tom Cruise in a movie? No?

Trump's DOJ announced it would sue the state over the issue back in July, weeks after a trans athlete won two state titles and girls' track and field on the final day. That's, by the way, the trans athlete is in the middle who, again, I try to bang. I mean, if I thought it was a woman, which I, again, that's why I quit drinking and got married. It was getting very complicated out there. That looks like a pretty blonde woman. Imagine? Got a penis? I guess. That's what I don't get. Anyways, here's some video of them, the two girls, biological women, sharing a platform, right, after they won a race? Good.

16-year-old A.B. Hernandez was all smiles, posing with the other winners at California State Track and Field Championship over the weekend. The teen taking silver and long jump and tying for gold in the high jump and triple jump. But in the stand... They show her gold in the trees. I'm here to save my daughters this future. Protesters outraged that A.B., assigned male at birth, was allowed to compete. Don't you, and you want to say to them, really, dude?

What is it in your makeup that you feel good, beaten girls and, well, my daddy touched me with a fucking feather duster. Well, whatever. The Department of Justice is engaged in a similar lawsuit with Maine's educational agencies over the same issue and has given a deadline of October 10th to Minnesota's.

Minnesota to change its policies on the issue. Otherwise, a lawsuit is likely to be launched there too. And Trump will, you know, he'll hold them money or whatever he said he was going to do. Don't you love it? They're just ignoring the president. Again, I don't know what the beginning of a civil war

looks like, but I've heard a million times when law and order starts to go down the toilet, even my late great friend, Greg Zooker, was a cop and a lawyer, said that's when things get scary. And when you call the cops because you hear gunfire and then you get a recording, Press one for stabbing. That's why I watch a lot of sports.

Who showed me the thing yesterday? Another thing, black guy on the internet. Funniest thing up, did you show me it? No, I showed you. That was the whole story that he was painting about this abused kid. Yes. How did it go? Can you explain that?

And we get a laugh. Do you remember what he was saying? Yeah, he was saying this whole thing about this 15-year-old boy. was beaten. Was being beaten by his parents. Parents then moved to his aunt and uncles. They were beating him. And then they asked about, well, we'll put you with your grandparents and he goes,

that's where it started. That's where it started. They were beating me. Painting the picture. And then the judge reached out to some local Dallas communities to find, you know, to find out where to put him. And impressed it in a mood determined that the one organization that couldn't beat him was the Dallas Cowboys.

dudes it is so well done I mean the sign of a great joke is you don't see it coming that fucking have me they did it so that guy's a better accident than Zelle Washington I mean I was getting heartbroken

for this little kid they kept moving around and he's being beaten by every generation in his family and then they turn it into a joke about the Cowboys oh my God speaking of the Cowboys

Jerry Jones he says the Cowboys are number one never asked Jerry Jones to communicate via sign language said some asshole who wrote the article excuse me the Dallas Cowboys owner said it was before I even go on you wonder why I'm up to a morning look on the phone

there's so much funny shit out there on TikTok somebody shows Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair you know those skateboard ramps they show him go down do a flip and land on his head and the, what's funnier than a paralyzed guy getting paralyzed again?

The Dallas Cowboys owner said it was never his intention to issue a middle finger to fans at MetLife Stadium on Sunday and that the unfortunate, that's in quotes, gesture, was supposed to be a celebratory thumbs up. This is the worst lie ever. Jerry, I think maybe he's just trolling. Just ignore it, Jerry.

You confused your fingers, did you? This guy's been a billionaire since he was 21. Do you know he grew up in Arkansas with an outhouse? Can you imagine that? I grew up in Danvis Mass with an outhouse. So who's got to work? Jones went viral on social media for casting a quick one-finger salute from his suite.

That's even funny. A billionaire from his suite in another ballpark, not even his home suite, giving a finger to the back. Seemingly directed at the local crowd following Dak Prescott's fourth-touched. They're an enigma this year, the Cowboys. Their offense is outstanding.

You know, get some defense, but you get rid of Michael Parsons. Following Dak Prescott's fourth touchdown pass, turned the Cowboys' 3722 road victory over the, oh, is the Jets. No wonder why he's given the finger. Nobody respects the Jets fans. Here's why you've got to love the Jets fans, and they've been doing this for 20 years. Watch them on Draft Day on ESPN if you, you know, have no life.

Every time, no matter who the Jets pay, They boo. It's hilarious. Goodell comes out. In the first round, the Jets 14th pick, Jesus Christ. He can't go to his right. I don't know why I even said that. Here's some video of a billionaire after a win.

Probably had a couple in them giving a finger to the Jets fans. Watch this. I thought it was my thumb. Show that again. Can I say that one more time? Zoom in on that? He's going to zoom in on that hand. Watch, what?

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. The gesture has proved costly with the NFL levying a $250,000, $250,000 fine against the owner that he's going to, folks,

$250,000. He's got that in his pocket when he goes to game. because he likes whores and stuff he's a good guy 250 grand from a billionaire it's literally I love it though

I wonder what they were doing to get that that was unfortunate this is him talking that was kind of an exchange with our fans out in front of us he's saying our fans

I don't know what that meant maybe there were Dallas fans going Jerry Jones said Tuesday before the reveal of the fine during a radio appearance. There was a swarm of cowboy fans out in front, not Jets fans,

cowboy fans. The entire stadium was brimming with enthusiasm of cowboys and certainly late in the game. The gesture was inadvertent on my part. Because that was right after we made our last touch. First of all, you sound like a guy who doesn't even know

football. What are you? What are you been? You gay now? We made a touchdown. well how do you make a touchdown well two cups of sugar some flour the fuck does that even mean we made a touchdown the last time i heard that me and arty had a show it's just fucking sports show direct tv we had a gay producer this is about four days into the production he's giving me an update on some game he goes then the yankees made a home run that's gayer than a guy going to his friend That's a nice top. I was trying to think of the gayest thing.

A guy could say to another guy. We made out a last touch, and we were all excited about it. There wasn't any antagonistic issue or anything like that. I just put up the wrong show on the hand. She's making it worse. He's lying. That was inadvertently done. I'm not kidding.

Oh, Jerry, save face. If you want to call it accidental, you can call it accidental, but it got straightened up, got straightened around pretty quick. I had a chance to look at it. It got straightened up pretty quick, but the intention was thumbs up and basically pointing at our fans because everybody was jumping up and down and excited. He's making it worse. God, you've been in a million lawsuits and he still can't lie.

The NFL is not announced if Jones will be punished. Oh, nobody gives a fuck for the blunder, but he wouldn't be the first owner to receive a hefty fine for what the league deems is unacceptable behavior. In 2024, you might remember, folks. Owner David Tepper was fined 300 grand for hurling a drink towards Jacksonville Jaguar fans while late Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams received a quarter million dollar charge in the 2009 for commemorating a win over the bills with a pair of middle fingers. There's the drink being tossed. That's even funnier. And they wonder why the fans act like animals. These guys are

billionaires in their own is sweet doing it. You don't think a fucking guy who works at a machine shop 80 hours a week goes to a Cleveland game, has like 19 bears. I'm not going to get into it. Mother of my sister's ass. Ah, might as well end it

real quick. Yeah? Here we go. Final story real quick to stay on the sports, stay on football. Division two dogpile. An NCAA division two college football game between Central State University. That sounds like a fictional team

in a movie. Central State. Like a Napoleon Dynamite, Uncle Rico. We could have won state. I can throw a football a quarter of a mile. Between Central State University Marauders and Fort Valley State University Wildcats, descended

into chaos on Saturday after the final whistle had blown. I wonder if there were black kids involved. Central State defeated Fort Valley. Sound like prison games. Fort Valley State, 18 to 14, to spoil the Wildcats' homecoming day, but the action didn't end there. Here's what happened after the game, right? Yeah, go ahead. La la la la la la la la la la.

It actually looks like an inter-squad practice. Like I said, you know, the DeKalraud practice. Any more than three black guys would in 10 feet of each other. Shit's going to break up. Oh, it's going to keep going. Couple brothers are like, fuck this. Can't get a knife through a helmet. Watch, it keeps going when you think it's done.

Oh, that'll do it. Oh, it's done. This is a good one. You know what? It really didn't. That looks like practice. Like if you watch, you know, what's that HBO show they do over you? Training Camp, Hard Knocks. You know, preseason, you watch local news.

They'll show the Patriots today. And there's brawes like that between the Patriots, like each other's players and shit. And it's silly because you're going to break your hand or, you know, you really can't. do that much damage. But can I just say some, when you're a young kid and your adrenaline's up, it's kind of fun. I'm like Cedric the entertainer. I remember he said this right after that brawl. Remember the Detroit

Pistons went up into the stands? He goes, I'm a big fan of that nonsense. And like Dallas said, every once in a while, it's kind of fun. You know what I mean? And again, you get a bunch of brothers. Look, there's a white kid in there. The hell's he doing. Anyways, it's kind of fun.

I never understood that, though. And that's why I'm surprised you don't see more of that shit in football. Because, you know, and again, not to pick on the brothers, but they're a little high temperate. You know, whistle blows in it pushing each. Remember Sanders? Not Chador, the other one. Smack the guy. And Cleveland said, get out of it.

Whoever he was with. Who was it? Do you remember? They were both on the bronze. Chedua's on the bronze. I was Bill. Bill was in Browns. And they were both playing on the bronze?

Both Sanders? Don't come to us for your sports. You're here for the hard news. Anyways, that's it, folks. October 16th, that's a week from tomorrow night. First of all, I'll do Crowder Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. And then, I mean, excuse me, Wednesday and Thursday of next week. And then Thursday night, I had a flight of Zanis.

and I hope to see you guys there. Go to Nick Dip. Go to the merchandise page to buy something to support the show. Cameo.com. Now that I've mentioned it on the show, I've got a bunch of them waiting for me. If you want me to say happy birthday

or roast one of your friends, just a quick, zing, zing, zing. I'm not going to break out the fucking party hats. Go to cameo.com. And, like I said, Gren, Gren. Jesus, Nick, have another cup of God. Gren Gleinvaw, he next.

Glenn Greenwall is up next. I wouldn't move. That guy, I'm a fan of that dudes. He was a big lib who fucking said, these people are nuts. All right? I guess,

I guess that's it. You guys think it. I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Bye-bye. Hi.

Good night, everybody. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I'm going to be. Oh! Yeah. And so, you know, and I'm going to be able to be. We're going to be.