The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jack Smith’s Turn In The Barrel | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1772

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about Jerk-off Jack Smith Under Investigation, Mainstream Media Calling Kash a Liar Regarding Burn Bags, Trump Hat Gets Fan Kicked Out of Soccer Game, A Distressed Whale, A Black Bigamist and Britain's Bonnie Blues! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out! 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BedMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I'm gonna be a good boy It's freedom baby, yeah! Hello folks, welcome on a Monday. Great state of Georgia.

Yeah. Averaged about to, I don't know, 102 for a couple weeks. 99% humidity. But it is Georgia, deep south, and it is, you know, summertime. How you been? Great? Good. I don't give a shit. I don't care anymore. I'm tired of this business. I told Dallas if I knew how to weld, he'd never see me again. As a matter of fact, I called DeVry this morning. I always use DeVry. Anyways, what's going on? Haven't seen you in a while, I guess.

Right? I was in Dallas and again, not in him, the city. We broke it off a long time ago. Yeah, I had a good time out there with Crowder and whatnot. And got a call right before I went on. Not a call, I got a text from Tommy going, they want you to tone it down. On Thursday morning, yeah, I got a,

first time I talked to my manager, by the way, in about a month. It's just a text. No, I get it. First time I talked to my manager, by the way, in about a month. It's just a text. No, I actually called him. And yeah, they said you came in a little hot yesterday, which I did. See, I bring my mood into the studio. And again, but Crowder has a different.

When they say conservative, his people are conservative, I guess. But for somebody to be offended by cursinging I still say grow the fuck up you know look around the world we live in and you know grow up okay I know but I've been cursing since fifth fourth grade fourth miss Swinney Arsky was my teacher called my parents said you kids got a dirty mouth. Fourth grade. And I did.

I hung out with Peter Burke and Mark Stoll, two kids that lived down the street that were my sister's age, four years old, and I hung out with them because I could run like the wind. And they always called me to play football in the neighborhood. And they would say, fuck, and I'd say, fuck. And I enjoyed it. Took it right to school with me. And then there was other kids.

My buddy Jeff Rice, who came from a tough household. He was cursed and he was like, we get along swimmingly. And I still remember my brother, I'm in the kitchen having lunch. The windows are open on a hot day. My mother's in the kitchen. My brother's outside. He goes, Nick, look out the window.

I'm going to see how long I can skid. He was on his bike, so he comes pedaling down the driveway, you know, he hits the brakes. And I go to sit back down and he goes, oh, that one fucking sucked. My mother's standing next to me and, Jimmy, did you teach him that? You know, that type of fucking, probably. Probably. Want to hit me for that too? Go ahead, get out one of your wooden spoons that don't work anymore. Used to block those like fucking green hornet.

Pick one of your faggy, Marvel fucking. Boy, there's still point in the, this, they just put another one out, whatever the fabulous fourth homos and Yeah, it went in the tank Finally, what do we I'll ask again? What are we fucking seventh grade boys? I Mean I hated that shit when I was a kid Did you see the green hornet? No, I didn't I was watching a brawl with the Canadians in the Bruins you fucking faggot Anyways, mmm

Delicious Red Sox. I know you guys don't want to hear this but holy moly ripped off five in a row The mighty Dodgers came to town. We took two or three from them and then the Houston Astros who are in first place Dodgers came to town, we took two or three from them, and then the Houston Astros who were in first place came to town and we swept those motherfuckers. And it's really fun, I'll tell ya, they're 11 or 12 games over 500, which is the high mark this year.

And they jumped over the, piggy banked over the Yankees, so now they're like three or four games behind Toronto's in first place. Anytime we hop over the Yankees that's all we care about. But you know how that goes. But the Sox, man, dude the pitching has been crazy. I don't think they can keep it up. Best bullpen ERA in the American League. Best record us in the Milwaukee Brewers since June 1st or something like that. So again these are all young kids,

except for Bregman, who is Bregman's becoming one of my favorite plays of all time. I was always envious of him when he was in the Astros. He made some plays in the field this weekend that, I mean, behind third base, and I mean with like one foot in shallow left field in the foul line and throwing in one motion as his body's going that way, right on the money,

couple of them. And then another stop, like a goalie, you couldn't believe he made. And anyways, I'm excited about, that's the most interesting team that Boston has seen for a while. Because they have sucked, they've been mediocre, they've been good, they go back to mediocre, they've sucked, they get good again. And now now when there's two months of Solid baseball you're good and these kids are young man Roman Anthony it's on base percentage 42% It's 420 Insane he either walks or gets a fucking hit. It's insane. Anyways enough. Let's talk about teams you like the Denver Obelix of the WNBA. Denver Oblets.

It's a great name. It's a great name. How about when they run the WNBA scores and breaking news across the bottom of the screen? I fucking laugh. ESPN. Oh, look it. Three black women and a Chinese lady.

She's a nurse, she has a white lab coat on, but they're talking about the fucking Denver Broncos defense. Turn that up. Hold on. I'm back. Anyways, that's it. Real quick, pizza recipe change. Well, I told you guys about the New York, I used the bread flour, blah, blah, blah, and it came with the, I used double zero flour, which is what the pros use,

apparently in Italy, and it's more fine, it makes great pizza, and I used it once, wasn't that fucking impressed. So yesterday I go, I'm gonna make pizza. Usually when you make a pizza, the best way is to let it proof in the fridge for like three or four days, then the dough doesn't snap back,

it's very easy to work with. So I said, fuck it, I'll use a Mario Batali fucking recipe, whatever, that I've been using for a while and I wasn't expecting anything but I used a double zero fly so let me give it one more chance. Made the best pizza I've ever made my life. I let it proof for an hour just a fucking hour and I'm thinking well it's gonna snap back. It was user-friendly as they say in the tech world. Like a fat girl's tits they just spread out. It was the best friggin' pizza I ever made. Put the pizza oven, I put the ceiling at 1,100 degrees

and the floor at 650. Eight to ten minutes. I made one, I tried, they say you can do it in two and a half minutes, you put the ceiling at 1300 degrees, and it was pretty good. Last week, that was more of a, anyways, what do you want to talk about, politics and shit? I'm tired of it all. Fuck the Democrats. They're not an American party anymore. They're communist, outright communist, social, whatever you want to call them, Marxists, they're absolute garbage. I don't know how you ban a political party but that should be Trump's next thing to destroy it. I remember Rush Limbaugh in 1986 saying you don't have to beat them, you have to dismantle them. And that was in the 80s and now they're 50 times more

radical. Let's get to it. Well, there is a updated headline here. We got illegal migrant who broke free with help of anti-ice activists caught while wearing $1,700 Louis Vuitton t-shirt. $1,700 t-shirt? The fucking Shroud of Torrents not even worth it I seventeen-dollar t-shirt oh my god what did uh...

Megan Fox wipe her ass with it put it on eBay again I go to Megan Fox they hardly knows what she looks like I just know everything she's hot. That's insane. So he was an illegal and somebody helped him. Oh, good. That's somebody who helped him, arrest him. Anyways, today I'll be talking about jerk off Jack Smith. It's time for his time in the barrel as they say. Cash Fatella, boy, found a what they call a burn bag with a bunch of documents. Apparently they didn't burn yet. And you know the media's calling him out saying he's full of shit so he's slapping them back. A guy in a Trump hat at a soccer game, so the guy might be gay, but I'm still going

to defend him. If you go to a soccer game, I honestly think you like the taste of Jizabapa. But anyways, the point was he was a good American Trump voter. They asked him to take the hat off or he had to go. This is in America? This is in America? Stick your soccer up your ass and all the other European shit. Anyways, and Bonnie Blue, a well-known porn star in

the UK and a very beautiful woman, but she sleeps with literally thousands of people within hours and apparently people have a problem with that. I don't see it. If that was my daughter, I'd be very proud. I go, she's a bit of a pig, but look at, she's getting all A's. Yeah, but she blows her teacher. That doesn't matter. They're all A's. Anyways, Jackoff Smith investigation. The US Office of Special Counsel has opened an investigation into former special counsel

Jackoff Smith, who may have unlawfully targeted President Trump. What do you mean may? What the fuck's that may shit? I'm gonna find out what the hell happened here. Um, let's go to the videotape. It's this letter saying, quote, I write requesting the Office of Special Counsel to investigate whether Jack Smith,

special counsel for Attorney General Merrick Garland, unlawfully took political actions to influence the 2024 election to harm then candidate President Donald Trump. So while the specific scope of this investigation is not clear, it is expected the probe will look into whether Smith violated the Hatch Act during his criminal investigation into President Trump's

handling of classified documents and alleged efforts to subvert the 2020 election. I got in trouble in college. A girl said I violated the Hatch Act. She said I opened her hats without her permission. I say bullshit. Anyways, the OSC, I mentioned what that was earlier, I can't remember, Office of Special Counsel, is a government watchdog that operates independently as a federal investigative and prosecutorial office. President Trump, of course, vanquished Joe Biden, Jack Smith, every Democrat who weaponized the law against him. But President Trump's

astounding victory doesn't excuse Smith just because he won the election. That doesn't mean all the shit Smith tried doesn't get called upon. Doesn't excuse him of responsibility for his unlawful election interference. I therefore ask the Office of Special Counsel to investigate whether Jack Smith or any members of his team unlawfully acted for political purpose. This is from Tom Cotton, by the way he wrote this like he wrote that in his request so Jack Smith enjoy your time and you know let me tell you something Trump you know he lets some of this shit slide but not guys like this this motherfucker he

hated I'm hoping Smith resigned from the US Department of Justice after he failed To bring the cases against Donald Trump to trial remember that and then he resigned from the so he's got to be sweating bullets a little bit or is he just Like all of us going nothing will happen They put it on the news. So the Trumpers in the right wingers are go good They're doing something about it, but people are getting fed up He you go online even young people are like alright somebody's you're gonna arrest somebody Fuck your investigations. We want to see firing squads and shit. I

Want to see I want to see this is what I want to see, you know, we should all over ISIS But they have some good ideas I This is what I want to see. You know, we shit all over ISIS, but they have some good ideas sometimes. I want to see them get like Jack Smith, Letitia James, Alvin Bragg, Pelosi, Adam Schiff, all the Obama, Chuck Schumer, put them in a cage. You put them in a cage, there's two ways to go with this. You put them in a cage and you bring it out to the ocean and sink it. That's, to me, fucking horrible.

They do this. The cage was underwater, like 20 feet, and then you pull it up like five minutes later and they're all dead. I want to try that with rats, but I don't have a deep enough pool at my house. I want to do it in the tub though, I've been all bitchy. You can't bring rats in the house. They're already here.

Or you put them in the house they're already here or you put them in the cage all those people I said and you cover them in gasoline and you leave a nice trail you know so you don't get burned and about 50 yards away and then you throw a little match and you watch it go they do this by the way I'm not making this shit up when I think ISIS and I'll sit there but I would enjoy that I would whack off to it like it was porn watching Pelosi's fake tits melting Chuck Schumer with a raw burger trying to trying to trying to get it over the flame oh my god Nick that's horrible or I just spit all over the place. I'm actually salivating at the thought of that.

I like the fact that Pam Anderson is with Liam Neeson now. I don't know, but I'm starting to see a pattern heard. Richie Zamora had a cock the size of my forearm and Liam Neeson's hung like a Grecian bull. I'm seeing a pattern. But I love Pam. She looks good as an older woman. She's Canadian. And people are so mean online. Hey, you better put on a condom with that fucking hepatitis, rather. People are brutal.

Anyways, liar, liar, liar, burns. Burn bags not on fire. I wrote that? Oh my god. Liar, liar, burn bags not on fire. FBI that oh my god liar liar burn bags not on fire FBI director this is a good story Cash Patel who he had on the show before he was a big shot he was still pretty high up but he did because he had a book out or whatever and we loved him just a regular guy just a regular guy with an IQ about

290 loves hockey still plays in a league and this is a Queens guy I fucking love them I love them after we interviewed him Patel challenged news media to own who is really lying in quotes about his discovery of a stash of classified documents connected to the Trump Russia collusion narrative weaponized against Trump in his first term so they're calling him a liar because he said he found a burn bag and the media said he's full of shit so he's calling them on it. The directors comments came in the wake of recent reports that burn bags filled with thousands of documents dating back to the Trump Russia probe were discovered in a room in the FBI headquarters. I understand leaving a bag of coke in the West Wing, but Jesus, are you that sloppy?

I mean, you're pulling off scandals that are as felonious as they get. Because I think they thought they were untouchable. Absolutely. Their fucking arrogance drives all this shit. They didn't know that the greatest president of history the country was taken over he's got a hair across his ass that will happen i mean think about the shit that put a group fits we don't bring up the shot in the face

since he came down escalator they have literally try to ruin him kill him ruin his family and he succeeded to me it's the greatest story ever told yeah but what about Jesus that doesn't exist listen I'm kidding folks right now someone right now exactly that's why you relax right now crowd is fanzoned on crowd of fans are going, this guy. In 2017 slash 18, and this is Cash Patel talking, I proved the Steele dossier was fictitious intelligence weaponized by corrupt FBI officials to deceive a federal judge and unlawfully spy on the presidential

candidate Trump's campaign, all paid for by thick-ankled dog face Hillary pig face Clinton and the media he says the media called me a liar he's lying that's MSNBC now he says I'm the FBI director and I got a hair across my ass like you read about in Hair Across Your Ass Weekly. We just uncovered burn bag slash room. I have a burn bag. Before you know, before Pwn was on computers.

They're all National Geographics. There's always a black woman, nice tits but carrying a thing of wood on her head to some village. I always focused on the wood. I was into wood work. We just uncovered Birnberg's room filled with hidden Russia gate files, including the Durham annex and declassified. Remember the special counsel Durham did a whole thing on it? I don't even remember the fucking results.

Once again, I released the prior FBI's own documents and exposed the truth. And he says, again this is Patel talking, the same media is calling me a liar. He says again. He's lying. Maybe this FBI will release more docs directly from FBI headquarters so we can see who is lying wouldn't want to deprive the fake news of more bogus Pulitzers that's why I like cash that's almost like a comedian line they did get Pulitzer but you guys realize that the New York Times get Pulitzer Prize for covering a fucking hoax that they helped perpetuate. But you guys still vote Democrat,

they go fuck your sister. Anyways, gotta love Patel. So a lot of people are watching, Dallas mentioned Miranda Devine from New York Post. She was all over the Hunter laptop thing. She's a great reporter. And Trump likes her and she likes Trump. And she had an op-ed, I didn't read it,

but I saw the headline saying, more is coming out about Russian collusion, Russiagate, and everybody's watching, including Democrats. And apparently Democrats, actual people who vote Democrat are saying they don't prove what the fuck went on. Well, that's big, Ian. It took you to this point. But how are you going to vote next time? That's all. I'm not even covering the big story, but he's talking about the Democrats in Texas because the Republicans are trying to redistrict the state of Texas,

you know how they do that, right? The answer to that by the Democrats in the Senate of the state of Texas was for them, instead of being there for the vote or whatever, they literally took off. They didn't show up to work. So it's just Republicans sitting and they're shitting on them in real time on the, they did. And I'm not even covering that that's mature huh meanwhile that when Trump was in our

very district that's how ignorant they are that they think they can bet yeah they think they fucking gonna badmouth Republicans after you just did that are you that stupid yes you are somebody come up with a name for them please. I wish this was a show I could send you a gift like Oprah or something. Not send you Oprah, I mean a gift like she would. It would be funny if you knocked on the door and Oprah showed up with Gayle King. They're both naked from the fucking waist up. Yeah, but she's lost 100 pounds. I can't get through an article on goddamn internet without Oprah. Or I'm trying to learn guitar on YouTube and fucking Oprah pops up every three seconds. The pink salt diet. She's it do? Turn you gay, you get age and drop 50?

Yeah, I haven't had a cameo in a couple months. I guess it's over for me. Anyways, yeah, I guess it's a good time to do a break. Boys and girls, nickdip.com. You want to see my, oh my god, it's this weekend. And I love you Tampa. Don't take it the wrong way. I just, again, I have a pit in my stomach. I'll do this show Monday through Thursday. And then usually Thursday afternoon's my long weekend start. But no, I got to get on a 930 flight Friday morning. Do you believe there's no direct flight from fucking Savannah to Tampa how is that possible those are two cities that are thriving and within flying perfect flying distance but no I got a connecting right now Lee Lee priest is watching this going, shut up.

Lee Priest flies out of Australia. He literally, his connects to like, he has to fly eight hours to connect and then have a 10-hour layover there and then land in Germany and then bounce up to Canada to get to Philly. I mean, literally. And then he lands at home and he has to drive. He texts me going, shut the fuck up about you.

Lee, thank you. He was in, where was he, the UK? I don't know. He sent more stuff. My wife loves the Titanic. She's obsessed with the Titanic. And he sent more stuff. He already sent stuff a few months ago.

And he sent more stuff from a different place, a packet, with actual letters. And I I got a thank you Lee I didn't see my wife all weekend she was on a couch with a magnifying glass look at a postcard I'm not shitting you it's like fucking nigga what are you doing I said what are you gonna prosecute the captain of the tank she's over there looking at clothes and she... Anyways, Lee's a great guy. So this weekend, Friday and Saturday, one show each night. I think Friday night's at 7 and Saturday's at 8, I believe. Side split is in Tampa, tickets are only a few left.

And then September 18th, Hyena's in Dallas, that's a Thursday night. Then the next night I go to Wise Guys in Salt Lake City, Utah on Friday and Saturday, September 19th and 20th. So that's great. I'll do that right after Crowder. And October 3rd, the Arlington Draft House. I'm always there during college football season. It just seems like that. Excuse me.

That's a fun gig too. And then October 16th, Zanies in Nashville. And then I'm seriously, I'm going to tell you now, because I'm an open book, I might take next year off, stand up wise. I know most of my friends have taken a year off and done something else or whatever the fuck. I think, you know, they either write for another show or it's showbiz. You've got to write that book. Huh?

You know what, Dallas, it's actually pissed that you reminded me I should do that. You're absolutely right. That's absolutely no excuse. Everybody says, Brett Butler, you remember Grace on the Fire told me she said she thought I had a book of me. Let's pull it out. Yeah that's what I said to her. What are you waiting for? I said I thought it was just chafing. Get in there with some ice tongs. You're a dumb giddy. She was something else. Anyways, did I do the whole plug? Oh go to nickdip.com merchandise page. In case you need a nice winter hat or a fucking North Face jacket for July.

Nickdip.com, buy something. That's how you support this show. And my wife's co-caval. If you love chilling mysteries, unsolved cases, and a touch of mom-style humor, Moms and Mysteries is the podcast you've been searching for. Hey guys, I'm Mandi. And I'm Melissa. Join us every Tuesday for Moms and Mysteries is the podcast you've been searching for. Hey guys, I'm Mandi. And I'm Melissa.

Join us every Tuesday for Moms and Mysteries, your gateway to gripping, well-researched true crime stories. Each week, we deep dive into a variety of mind boggling cases as we shed light on everything from heists to whodunnits. We're your go-to podcast for mysteries with a motherly touch. Subscribe now to Moms and Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts. Let's move on. Speaking of hats and merchandise, headline, Trump hat not welcome at gay sporting event.

I write the headlines, by the way, folks, if you're wondering. A man, I'd put that in quotes, attending a recent major league soccer game, I don't know how a grown man who's straight can watch a soccer game, I really don't. I don't understand it. It's a great sport to play, I agree with all that, most sports are, but as far as spectator sport, and I'll say it again, if n h l had any brains they would market their sport to the fucking brit the people in britain would love it it's soccer

only with sticks and blades and vicious hitting and but it's the same thing i've said this a million times on the show you probably sick of it center two wingers two defensemen a goalie it's's the same thing i've said this a main times on the show you probably sick of it center to wingers to defensemen a goalie it's basically the same

uh... anyways soccer game claimed uh... the guy get kicked out uh... claimed his choice of attire mean the hat resulted in him being asked to leave the sporting event according to a video posted on social media the man who identified himself in the video as Michael Weitzel was seen wearing a red make America greater get hat at Energizer Park in st. Louis City's SC's home stadium so we have a clip of them asking him to leave and he was much more calm about it than I would have been

this is unbelievable this is the United States of America and again because it's him to leave and he was much more calm about it than I would have been. This is unbelievable. This is United States of America and again because it's a soccer game it's all communists and jerk-offs in the audience. Yeah that's my take but here's the video. I'm being asked to leave by the police because of Donald Trump. Hey, I'm a Donald Trump fan. You're a Trump fan? I'm a man. Pause, pause.

The security guy just said, I'm a Donald Trump fan. But we have, yeah, that's what Hitler said to his henchmen said. Hey, just orders, man. You fucking asshole. First of all, you're working in a soccer game. Check his pants. He's running Spanish nuts. Go ahead, Michael, finish up.

So I swear- With all these cops, you gotta deal with them, man. They're not political, they don't want any kind of political- So I swear- He's running Spanish nuts. Go ahead Michael finish up. Those are flags of different countries. Versus the Trump hat. Oh those are pre-approved. I love the logic. Oh we let those in because we like them. That's basically what he just said. Go ahead. Over there, those aren't plagiarism. So my question to you guys is, are these rules equally enforced on everybody? Oh, yes. And the only way I can do that is if I enforce it with

you. You're on handcuffs, so I'm being threatened with arrest. What law am I breaking? This is St. Louis? They're asking me to leave. Am I being evicted from the premises? I'm being evicted from the premises. We're going to walk out. I'm being evicted from the premises because of Donald Trump. Because we can't wear Donald Trump hats in public.

Think about that for a second, folks. We're making light of it? Yeah. Just think about that. Fuck second folks. We're making light of it? Just think about that. Fuck you and fuck you! Who's next? Rules that energize a park stated that political banners were not allowed in the stadium. Okay, that's a hat, not a banner. Big fucking difference.

As Weitzel made his way to the concourse area, he claimed, Trump is not welcome in St. Louis SC Club. One of the security staffers, you know what, it almost makes sense because, well, I can't say that either because Trump was at the soccer thing a few weeks ago and had a great time, but you know, you do that for votes. Inside he's probably going, get me out of here. Get me the fuck out of here. This is gayest thing. This is gayer than Chuck Schumer and his wife. Big fag.

You see Chuck's wife? Some people say ugliest woman ever seen. One of the security staff suggested he could return to his seat if he removed his hat. I would have said, why don't you lick my taint until the fourth quarter, you fucknut. If you take the hat off, you can go back in. Why don't you take your fucking condom off? If I take the hat off, I go back in. What do you take your fucking condom off?

If I take the hat off I can go back in, Weitzel replied. He quickly took off his hat. Excuse me. But someone off camera informed him, we are way past that point. Oh are we? Hitler? Weitzel then placed the hat back on his head.

Imagine some guy go, oh we're way past that point. Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Goebbels I think. Who's the slimy little tom in a shit twinkle toe coat? Imagine some guy go, oh, we're way past that point Gurbals I think Mangala they were all at the game So I'll ask the left again, even though you don't watch your show who the fascist who were the fact I don't see anybody wearing Trump hats now and that's not because they don't want to it's because they want to deal with the shit So I would say the left won that one. Anyways, at a soccer game. Think about that. I want you to think about that.

That's as stupid as they don't allow people to vape out in an open air thing. All logic, when you make a rule that one size fits all, all logic goes out of... There's no fucking logic left. I was about the Boston College football game 15 20 years ago at BC and a nice fall Saturday and There's a guy looks like he was in his 70s big burly typical Bostonian had like a flannel shirt on, big, veiny nose, and he's smoking a cigarette, and I hear, I'm behind him, and been like six rows behind me, I hear a lady go, sir, excuse me, sir, and he finally turns around to see who kept saying, she goes, this, you can't smoke in here, and he just looked at her, he goes, ha ha ha ha.

And just finished his cigarette. It was so fucking beautiful. He just laughed. He didn't even, and he wasn't acting. He just thought that was hilarious. Guy probably fought in World War, whatever the fuck. Oh my God, may Karen find the lump in both her armpits. Let's move on to Whale of a Time.

No, it's not about Joy Behar. A woman was knocked from her boat off the Jersey Shore when Snooki ran into her on a fucking jet ski. No, when a distressed whale bashed the vessel, sent. I like how they used distressed. He couldn't decide whether to go to Arby's or McDonald's sending her flying into the frothing waves shocking footage shows can can can you um can you make that big of Dallas so it comes in

closer you know I mean the clip when when she gets knocked off no could you have done it before? I'm asking for future. Oh, yeah. OK. Because that's what I did. I went like this, and you can see her falling into the water. But anyways, so the whale's in distress,

trying to get the shallow waters, apparently, and goes under this boat because the whale's flipping out and knocks the boat. And there's a lady that falls off the the wait a minute my my still reading the incident went down Sunday off of Barnagat Bay in New Jersey when a small motorboat came across a mink that was seen thrashing in shallow waters so here's the video stay here stay here oh my my god they're going over. Watch the back of the boat. Here the lady just fell in.

Oh man overboard. Shut the engine. Shut the motor off. She's in the water next to the fucking boat. And the whale's freaking out. Show the picture. I think you have a picture of her circled. Right there. She goes ass into the water.

That's got to be fucking scary. That's right out of Jaws, man. Not me. I love propellers every time I see that I think of me and my late great friend Greg Zook and whenever we got together and it was known fact with my family his family friends shit would just go wrong every time he would come up with my family to camp up in Maine we've rented a with a camp up there every year with water skiing shit. My father's water skiing I'm driving the boat Zook's working the line in the back. My father wipes out. So I'm bringing the fucking I'm circling

right bring the you guys know bring the fucking rope around and Had trouble getting it to him I forget why another wake't know. But I backed up and cut the rope. My father goes like this. And he goes, you fucking assholes. And you could hear, assholes, assholes, assholes. Fucking me and Sookyl laughing. He goes, jeez. And then there was a snake in the water.

And my father's like, what the fuck? So I had to go get close to him and fucking, but I always think, I know. I told Dallas I'd fucking read a horrible story. A guy with his daughter and family accidentally, she fell out when they pulled the tubes behind the bus, something like that, but she fucking hit the propeller. Anyways, that's the lady falling into the water. behind the bus something like that but she fucking hit the propeller anyways

that's the lady falling into the water so farewell and due to you fair Spanish ladies probably was Spanish and illegal ladies of Spain for heaven jersey city and it's quite shitty. Never shall we meet again. It's Finn and back, not the woman, that would be Rosie O'Donnell, she was there, could be seen lurching out of the water

in evident desperation. When the boat approached, the whale became even more frantic and wound up under the hull, eventually tipping the boat over, thrashing and sending a woman into the water. She was quickly pulled to safety and wasn't injured. The incident was caught on camera by Kim Mancini, a girl that I used to bang in the early thirties, who said the whale seemed to be in trouble before the boaters even arrived. It eventually died in shallow waters.

He's gone and we couldn't do nothing about it. Now, this is even related to the story. This is a condom that washed up on a black beach in Haiti. Oh, come on, Nick. It's a great show, isn't it? A quantum. Oh come on Nick. It's a great show, isn't it? That quantum. Let's move on. No, no, no, no!

In our FLA segment tonight, a Florida man who illegally juggled secret marriages to three unsuspecting women, I'll repeat that, married to three women at once, he should be examined. He met them on dating apps, managed to escape jail time after his deception was unearthed. Not sure why that's a law anyways. I mean, he's being punished already. That's probably why he escaped jail time guy goes you've been through enough Henry Betsy jr. 50 year old black fella. It's got nice eyes

Looks like a young Mike Wilpon from pardon the interruption Sentenced to two years probation on Thursday after he pleaded no contest to felony bigamy in May, ABC Action News reported. He had three wives at one goddamn time. That boy is a P.I.G. pig. Betsy married his first wife, Tanya Betsy, in November of 2020 at the Jacksonville Courthouse. Yeah, those weddings at the Jacksonville Courthouse usually don't last. After meeting her on Tinder, two years later, Betsy married Brandy, whom he met on the dating app Fat White Blondes at Black's Love, otherwise known as flub-a-lub-a-lub, on the dating app Stirr on February 22nd,

that was my favorite, in 2022 in Manatee County. Then months later, if that wasn't enough, a third woman, Michelle Nerens, met Betsy on the dating website match.com. Boy, all blondes. And now, if I was a racist, I'd call her a mud shark. That's what those real racist guys call white women who fuck black guys, I just call them stupid. I, what? And tied the knot at a courthouse in Hernando County

on November 23rd, how many counties in Florida are there? Mother of Jesus. In 2022, after only knowing each other for three weeks. That's just brilliant. That must be some good dick and some good bookie. His ways wouldn't be brought to light until his first wife, Tanya, began to search for her husband's name in county court records and made the shocking discovery that he had marriage licenses with two other women She said I just started county by county putting his name in and that's when I came up with a marriage to Michelle and

The marriage to Brandy Tanya told the news Tanya then found Michelle online as broads will do and Message her with the startling findings Michelle contacted the law enforcement about Betsy's actions. The women believed that Betsy married them for money. Yeah, because you know how much those girls that work at Old Navy make. Brandy shared that on the day they got married.

He told her, this is sort of a red flag, they needed to make your bank account a joint bank account guy guy so you're doing it for the money you want to leach off these broads but three marries you know how much work that is as opposed to getting a regular job you had three full-time jobs as far as i'm concerned michelle and Tonya said they obtained domestic violence orders. Wow, this guy, good to break those black stereotypes, wants to mooch money and he's violent. Orders from judges after Betsy became abusive. Betsy is the guy's last name by the way, it's not a woman. And they were able to escape their marriages. Brandy told the outlet she kicked Henry out of her house after just five days

of marriage. Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a fine girl, what a good hoe you would be. Such a fine girl, the love of my lady is to see. Along with his sentence of two years probation, Judge Charlie Merritt Jr. ordered Betsy to perform a hundred hours of community service and stay away from white Puntang. What? And action, to complete a mental health evaluation. Even the judge is going, what are you, fuck that, not you wanna be married to three broads?

Convert to be a Mormon or whatever, and to stay off social media and dating websites. Oh, come on, leave the guy, leave the guy guy be finally tonight. Let's rip through the last one Brits have the Bonnie blues I don't if you guys are aware of Bonnie blue. She's a British porn. I guess Only fans. She's a huge only fans, you know zillions and a porn star who sleeps with as many men and apparently she's like a busy schedule. Did I mention how many in the article? I think I might have forgot. A major TV network has defended its decision to air a documentary about controversial porn star Bonnie Blue after viewers labeled it literal porn. This is in the UK. It's an attractive lady. I'm sure she has a toll booth at the

opening of her, what is it, Bulver? There you go. Now we can use that one. Channel 4, a British free-to-view TV station, premiered, 1000 Men and Me, the Bonnie Blue story, and the UK on Wednesday evening. I think Richard Simmons had a book by the same title. But the one hour documentary which detailed the troubling tale of the 26-year-old as she has sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours, I guess, has been met with widespread criticism for being jaw-droppingly graphic from viewers. Again, Quint on the boat. Qu she is sucking on a, that's a fudgical, oh, it's her finger with a glove on it.

Now Channel 4, this is like Channel 4 in America having this on apparently, it's, you know, network TV has hit back at critics arguing the pornographic content is compliant with the local broadcasting codes. The explicit content in the documentary is editorially justified and provides essential context. Well, baby, me so horny.

Me so horny. There's your context. Crucially, the content is presented in a non-gratuitous manner and viewers will be alerted of the sexual content in a program warning at the beginning. But it has done little to quell the outrage online. Channel 4 has sunk, somebody said, a new low. Why is there a documentary on Bonnie Blue? Why are they trying to normalize her behavior?

Why not, said a lot of guys in unison. On national television, somebody asked on X. Others, there was a bunch of other negative ones, but then others said the film, others said the film that makers said, and this is in a quote from the people who made it, explores the central question polarizing debate about her is is she a dangerous predator? You can't be a predator to a guy if you're a woman Again there is there you go far left UK

fucking just Out of touch with you. You can't I don't care if you're a sixth grade boy, and you teach this 33 year old hot woman She is not a predator. She's doing you a favor. Guys are wired differently, especially this one. We know her aim. Predator who? Guys are literally lining up like dangerous predator pandering to male. I'd hate to have her jump out of a bush and fuck my brains out. That would be, Oh my God, get the cops here quick. And by quick, I mean 11 days from now. Pandering to male fantasies and perpetuating the patriarchy. That's the big, see how the left, that's, she bet,

first of all, let's do the math. Let's do the math here. I don't even know how that's possible. I already did it and forgot. 1057 divided by 12 equals 88 men an hour right all right divided by another 60 that's a one and a half a minute. It's about right for guys. I don't know about you. That's a good thing about marriage. They always said when you're young, you're a pup, you're not in a second to make it last

long and they told you to think about baseball. But I would always think about the Red Sox and I liked them so much it didn't help. I'd come like that. Or an empowered sex positive businesswoman having the last laugh see that's how this is you see how feminists can just turn it their way so somehow she's having the last laugh not that not the thousand guys that fucked her in 12 hours who just fucked the girl at a level they'll never be able to meet somehow you're pulling a pulling the sheep over the guy's eyes.

You see how twisted that is? There's obviously something very wrong with her, or the way I think, very right. I say she was raised properly. Ladies, don't treat your pussy like it's gold. Treat it like it's styrofoam. Give everybody a piece. Sharing is caring. His Dallas he's got the bumper stick on his Prius. I still hide him. Sex positive having a last laugh. Failed to answer its own probing questions. I don't know. Anyways, I, uh, that's, that's like a minute and a half, literally. I remember her being interviewed, not about this one. She does this a lot though.

Remember, didn't she, we did one where she did, I don't know, 900 or something? And surprisingly she said she disconnected herself like mentally. You're just going through the motions. How's that different than being married? I'm only kidding honey, you're a good bang you always was. Right? Hello honey, are you home? Anyways, Bonnie Blue getting it done. Can you imagine being, and some guy would marry her tomorrow. Just proving that men don't think like I ask when I had girlfriends and I was single. I would ask about stories.

I want to hear the shit. What's the craziest thing you did. Who had the biggest dick. What kind of it's fucking it's what keeps me going going but then they go that means you don't love me what you're talking about man I'm gonna put you in this book I like to hear shit like that and so do guys love to hear stories like that I don't have any myself. You'd think, you know, being on stage and shit, but my, uh, my act isn't really lady friendly. I've had how many girls over the years that, you know, I, when you first came out, I'm like, I'd fuck you. But then

after your act, I was like, this guy's an asshole. It was like me wearing a rubber. Anyways, that's it. That's enough of the show. That's more than I wanted to do. How about that? Boys and girls, that is it for today, which is a Monday. Again, for you people watching in the Florida area and surrounding states, SideSplitters this Friday

and Saturday night, the 8th and and ninth, one show each night. And it's all of the VIPs after the show. I don't know how they're, I'm thinking of the setup there. I think we'll just, they'll tell you guys to stay in the showroom after the show. And you come up on stage, we'll get a picture, a handshake, hand job, nipple twist, eye poke, all that shit.

Get out of here. Get upstairs. Get upstairs. Get upstairs. We're going to get a t-shirt. We've got to print a t-shirt. Shut up. Get upstairs. Yeah, so I hope to see you guys there.

That's it. You guys, thank God. I'll say you're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the exact same time. That will be 6 PM Eastern. All right. Take care. Hi. Good night everybody. Everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away Everybody's happy now, the good things will stay Please let it stay

Hey, hey, I saved the world today And everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away And everybody's happy now, the good'll still stay Please let it Ooh, let it