The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jen Psaki Acting Whacky | Nick Di Paolo Show #695

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Psaki bawls her eyes out. Psaki unapologetic. Biden ignoring ruling. Desantis rips Philly mayor. MLB money grab. Black bullies force white teacher out.

🎵 Sanka. Remember that? Remember Sanka? If you're in your late 70s. Dallas, do you remember Sanka? Nope. You do? Nope.

Oh, I thought it was a yope. Can you imagine Dallas is too young. Hey, have you been on camera yet? I think on my birthday. Come over here. Come on. Does he look like he's too young to know what Sanka is? Come on. Does he look like he's too young to know what Sanka is? Look at him all tanned up and shit. There he is, Quint. Can you picture him in Afghanistan?

I can. He used to... I don't know what that means. Low ready. What? Oh, you got the, yeah, low ready. My wife does that when she hops on a sack. Where is that? Your cock always in that position.

Yeah, that's right. No, Christ, no. What, are you kidding me? I fucking mainline Viagra. Every time a wife blows me, she sounds like a mobster about to be assassinated. Just not in the face. Then there was the other time I was having sex with a black girl and I said, who's your daddy? She said, I have no idea. Next thing she knows

is she pulls out a 23andMe as I'm fucking her. Sure enough, George Washington, not the president. A wide receiver for the Texans. All right, let's get to the... Oh, one more other thing. I forgot to tell you when I came back from Dallas, Fort Worth, the second night in Fort Worth, there was a guy up front not last staring at me.

He had dark glasses on, you know, inside. So I started going, what the fuck, dude? What are you, cool within the room? Blah, blah, blah. And I zinged him about four times. I go back to fucking do my, and he's still sitting there with his arms folded. I go, you're inside.

Take off the fucking glasses. His wife goes, he's blind. This is after me ripping him for like 10 minutes. I go, you fucking tell me now? But do you think I could be mature about it? So I go up to him. I pretend I'm humping his face. He's like, and I'm going like this.

I'm going like. How fucking immature. Can you read sign language? No, you can't do that either. She let me fucking. And it reminded me of my second year in comedy. I was at Stitch's Comedy Club on a Saturday night, brand new to the business.

Started to make a little bit of a name in Boston. I'm doing my... In the middle of my act, and the guy goes, eight, and I just ignore it. I wasn't sure I heard him yell out eight. And then I go back, I do another couple minutes, I hear him go, 12. And I go, did you just yell out 12?

I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm counting the times you say fuck. I go, well, here comes 13. Go fuck yourself. That's when I knew I had it. George McDonald was like, ah, you got him. Counting the times I say fuck. You imagine. Get the fuck out of the car. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, instead of throwing a bunch

of straws on the ground, he can watch me do an hour. It would be harder for Rayman to count cards. I mean, it would be easier for him to count cards and count my fucks. I do it way too much. I don't rely on it. I just say it. I always try to explain this. DePaul's kind of dirty. No, I'm not. I have a dirty mouth. I don't do blowjob, pussy-eating jokes. I mean, everybody has a little chunk here and there. If you're lucky, you know what I'm saying? Anyhow, I don't know why that came to me. I was lying in bed last night.

I forgot. I didn't tell anybody when I came up in Fort Worth. That's how jaded I am. Shit that goes on. All right. What else? I made... You guys know what Beef Wellington is? I made salmon Wellington

last night. Yes. My wife had bought a couple pieces of salmon. I still had some puff pastry left over. Listen how gay this show is turning into. Next up, egg salad recipe is from Dallas. So I Google puff pastry salmon

recipe. Sure enough, I don't know if you know of Beef Wellington. It's just a beautiful piece of meat with puff pastry around. So this was the same thing with fucking salmon. I scored it crisscross. You know what I mean? Put it in the oven so it looked like it had diamonds. I am a half a fag.

I can cook. My wife went nuts. You painted one side of the salmon with melted butter, lemon zest, and Dijon mustard. And you put it face down. And on the other side, you saute spinach and garlic and olive oil and put that on. And then roll the... I mean, I like salmon. It's a little rich for me but it's really good for you even though it goes through me I can't handle that I don't know why I can't handle that oil it was fucking delicious I'll never make

salmon any other way I'm telling you folks if this comedy thing doesn't work out which I'm pretty sure it's not I'll be working at Arby's as the sous chef. Let's get right to it. Wacky Sacky balls her eyes out. Is that how I, that's how you spell balls, right? Didn't I put, not that I'm mad, I'm just saying. What? No, I just pictured her with fucking balls in her eyes.

Anyway, she cried like a bitch. White House press secretary, and again I've said this to you people a million times, one of the, one of the, the Democrats' favorite move is to attach kids to every issue. Pelosi does it more than anybody in history. I'd like to do a compilation tape. It will be like, it will be like cum shots. What about the kids? The kids? What about the kids? The kids. What about the kids? That's, I don't care what they're talking about, building a bridge, you know, killing people in Ukraine.

What about the kids? They'll bring anything. They'll always attach it to the children. Anyways, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki broke down during a podcast interview. Why don't we get her on here so I can tell her what a fucking Bowser. Look at her, the little fucking Mama Luke. The little Mama Luke. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny, I've got your number. I something about... Anyways, she cried during the podcast interview while condemning a series of... Here we go. Anti-LGBTQ bill.

Do you really think in this day and age anybody, Republican, fucking right-wing Klansman, would try to pass something that actually everybody would say is anti-LGBTQ. Do you see what I'm saying? And there's half this country. You fucks who vote Democrat, fall for it. Anti-LGBTQ bills moving through the statehouse as harsh and cruel.

Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. In an interview on the News Not Noise podcast, it's funny because she cried, which is annoying, released Tuesday, host Jessica Yellen, crying and yelling, yelling and crying, asked Psaki about the legislation across the country. How do you make sense of what's happening, Yellen asked. Is this sort of a predictable backlash to change? This is the

one they always, you guys on the right just aren't ready for change. We're ready for good change. You know what I'm saying? No. Are we ready for a woman to go, hey, I don't have a dick, but I want to be a guy today? No, nobody's ready for that, you fuck. Do you understand me yelling? I'm yelling at you. Is this sort of a predictable backlash to change as she served up a fastball down the middle for Saki? Could that be any softer a question? How about opening with this? Did you always have the dirty freckles on your ass?

Or is it this organized political attempt to create a wedge issue? Look, she's answering the question before she even, I guarantee Saki handed her this, excuse me, to create a wedge issue ahead of the midterms in the 2024 campaign. Sort of like the way gay marriage was weaponized in 2004. Oh, was it? Excuse me. You mean the same way gay marriage in California? I think it was Prop 180 or something. Do you remember? The people voted against gay marriage as being legalized.

Remember that? And they just ignored the people. Why do you bring that up before I stick my gay cock in your gay ass? What kind of talk is that, Nick? What are you, a child? Yes. Yes. So it makes this show at least a little interesting.

Hey, where's Rachel Maddow, by the way? Haven't seen that fucking clam lapper. What is she doing? Took a sabbatical. Sabbatical. She's in Taiwan molesting a 12-year-old boy. I mean girl. Did I say boy?

Anyway, she got all upset. Let's listen. This is a political wedge issue and an attempt to win a culture war and they're doing that in a way that is harsh and cruel uh to a community of kids especially i'm i'm like gonna get i'm gonna get emotional about this issue because i just it's horrible but uh but you know it's it's like kids who are bullied. And it's like all these leaders are taking steps to hurt them and hurt their lives and hurt their families. And you look at some of these laws.

This is mental illness you're listening to. This is mental illness. She's getting right to the core of what Democrats have been winning on for the last 30 years. People who are bullied are running the world now. They can't let it go. It was always in Hollywood. Even when I was 20 years old, I'd always go, why is the fucking kid in the letter jacket always the asshole? There's no nerdy ass.

I mean, it goes back to they can't let go. They're traumatized by their past. Now they're trying to let her go ahead. These states and is going after parents who are in loving relationships, who have kids. It's completely outrageous. Sorry, I am. This is an issue that makes me completely crazy. But it is an issue that is a political wedge issue.

It is not a reflection of where the country is. I cry like a bitch. What did you say, Tony? is a political budget is not a reflection of where the country is what did you say to me look at the little carrot all upset uh... yeah yeah i don't know i get kinda turned on with our crime cuz i always see her as a cold she's a cold fish i I mean dead inside. So kind

of turnery, I'll say. I'm sorry I'm watching too much of Evil Lives Here. Goddamn is that a good show. Guess what? I've watched five in a row now they didn't mention white Christians. There's actually two black shows in there. But I skip over those. I'm tired of black violence. That's nothing evil. That's normal. Nick, don't even. I was kidding. Tremendous. Even better at serial killing than us. According to a Washington Post count, nearly 200 bills aiming to eliminate, protect you. Folks, I'm reading you an article, must have been from a left-wing source,

aiming to eliminate protections for transgender engaged. No, it's not. No, it's not. We're trying to protect kids from your fucking crazy ideology. Gay children have been filed across, protected gay children have been filed across, protected gay children have been filed across the country this year by Republican lawmakers.

Do you fucking believe any of that? I don't. What did I do? I missed the whole fucking thing. Anyway. roughly 75 of the bills proposed limitations on class discussions or library books including most notably florida's legislation which has been panned by critic really it panned by the critics it's funny because it's polling very well across the country. Even Democrats in

Florida like it. So suck a bag of shit, you lying pupsicle. Don't say gay bill, they call it. Fuck you. I'm gay. I'm really gay. I'm super duper gay. I'm gayer than a glass of AIDS. I'm gayer than I'll say.

I'm gay. I'm gay. than a glass of AIDS. I'm gayer than I'll say. Gayer than I'll say. That's that. Anyways, do you see how they, it's all about language. It's anti-gay, it's attacking children. Parents who are just, they don't get it. They don't get it. They do, but they don't. Again, I'll ask this question. Why is that the hill they die on? Fucking transgender, gay.

Do us another way, man. But that ain't going to work. Because I know you don't believe it, Jim, but only about 8% of the world population is gay. Maybe. That's not counting the ones they throw off the roof in Tehran. That's not nice. You can knock the wind out of them. Let's stay on my favorite redhead, Lucille Ball. Sacky, slanted border agents. As you remember back in, remember last summer, the migrants were coming across the river,

and we had the border agents, and they had rains, and they accused them of, you remember the whole fucking, Peter Doocy, boy, Peter, so funny watching this guy grow up. He's like turning into his old man. Peter Doocy calls out Psaki and her jerk off boss, meaning Biden, on statements, you can tell I wrote this article, statements they made regarding border agents on horseback who were wrongly accused of whipping dirty illegals crossing the border. Let's refresh your memory. Well, here's Doocy taking on Chuckles the Clown. We've been told that the mounted border patrol officers the president accused of whipping migrants have been notified they will not face criminal charges.

So when is the president going to apologize to them? There is a process and an investigation that's gone through the Department of Homeland Security. I don't have any update on that. The president said that they were whipping people, which would be a criminal offense, and they've been told they're not going to be criminally charged. And there was an investigation into that, and I'll let the Department of Homeland Security announce any conclusion of that investigation. You accuse these officers of brutal and inappropriate measures now that they've been told they will not be criminally charged. Will you apologize? And Peter, there was an investigation into their behavior. So that investigation is

playing out. Whenever it's going to be announced, the Department of Homeland Security will announce that. I'm sure we'll have a comment on it after that. Now to somebody that can throw me a softball question. Oh, my God. That was the equivalent of I can't comment. This investigation is still going on. It's got nothing to do with it. They've already been cleared of those charges.

So you were wrong and your dumb cocksucker boss and everybody that watches CNN and you have the bully pulpit. Apologize on behalf of your boss and you. You don't need an investigation. What slimy, filthy, I'm trying to like you, Jen. Everybody thinks you're ghoulish looking. I don't know. Half a bottle of wild turkey, I might fucking bite your neck.

Right in half and kick your head into a dumpster. I learned that on the evil lips here. I hate to pick on my girlfriend. You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. How is this show not the most popular thing

on the internet? You can't handle the truth. Exactly right. They don't admit it. They won't admit it. Joe Biden's the same way they don't admit admit when they're fucking wrong ever who's that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong chief mayor ladies and gentlemen. Too many captains on this island. Anyhow, let's move on from enough of the Jenny, I've got your number.

The masked moron. Let's move on to her boss. Somebody named Jennifer Jacobs, I don't know if she's a reporter or whatever, at Jennifer J. Jacobs tweeted, White House has asked travelers on Biden's trip to New Hampshire today, we leave shortly, to wear masks in the motorcade vehicles and on Air Force One. Now, if I was a reporter, I'd say, excuse me, Mr. President. Fuck your mother! Fuck your mother!

So finally, you admit you haven't been following the science. Oh, there's an uptick somewhere. A couple of people got it. And what you guys are fucking, it's a political thing. It's just a virtue. It's a sign. I vote Democrat. That's all that is.

It's all political. There's nothing out there that can hurt you do you see people and they bring up people what are you talking about a million people die from covid yes and 90 of them were 80 or over you fucking phonies with several comorbidities already in place boy comorbidities that was my uh nickname in high school i Everybody I touched. Can you imagine after all this, they announce, and now they're shitting on that judge because it was a Trump appointee.

You people on the left are the dumbest motherfuckers. Let me tell you something, and I'll say it again. Maybe back in the 40s and 50s, the far right, religious right, were kind of dumb about social issues and shit, right? But you motherfuckers, you're them today. You look so out of touch and so stupid. And here's my other brilliant point that nobody's made off the subject about immigration, illegal immigration.

I think I might have said it yesterday on the show. But they're all pouring over, right? South America, Central America, they're pouring in here. Joe's opening the gates. They're coming after the American dream. But they're going to look around in 10 years and realize it's a brown nightmare like they just came from. With rapes and stabbings and MS-13. Do you understand?

And again, I'll say it. I've never been happy to be 60. But do you get what I'm saying? We've been saying this since, I don't know, my early 20s. They're not going to be happy until they turn this country into thoroughbred shit. Everybody's been saying that on the right,

and it's happening right before your eyes, with help of the right, by the way. Nobody's standing up trying to stop it, except for DeSantis. And again, I'm so cynical. I believe it's a play, and he's playing his role. I don't know who to believe. The public transportation mask order

is no longer in effect after court ruling yesterday, but CDC, again, who was elected by nobody, still recommending masks. Of course they are. We have to keep this fucking lie alive until the midterms. Do you get it? So that... I don't fucking...

That's all I had to say. I got tongue-tied there. And there's stupid. Look at, he's getting in with the luggage. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Yo, get out of there. It's the galley. He made it up those three stairs. How about a hand? What a mama Luke. Can you imagine? We should be jumping for joy.

Somebody made a good point yesterday. I don't know if it's on the internet or TV, saying that we're missing, might have been Dana Perino, how we should be celebrating. I mean, we shouldn't be celebrating them giving rights back that should have been never taken away in the first place. And we're all going, woo-hoo-hoo.

That mask is all about them telling you to obey. That's all it is. They're getting you ready. I feel bad for you young people because you're going to see it escorted in, I think, if nobody does anything about it, which apparently, I don't know. Hey, guys, I'm back on the road again like Willie Nelson two weeks from now. Jesus, am I? I absolutely hate the travel part of this job, as you know, but I love being in front of you guys and gals and everything in between, performing stand-up and magic and unicycle tricks.

For those of you in the Northeast, my old stomping grounds where you're being porked up the ass with property taxes and violence, I'll be at one of my favorite haunts. This is no bullshit. Governor's Comedy Club on Long Island. It's in Levittown on May 6th, Friday. One show. And I haven't been there forever. And Long Island is so goddamn

good to me. Hey, I wonder if we can get that. No, he's out in L.A., that Chris Cuadino, my singer friend. Anyways, it's one of my favorite gigs. A guy named James runs it. You should, you know, he looks like he's right out of a 50s. He's the only guy that'd stand in front of a comedy club with like a $3,000 suit on and diamond ring.

I always come up, I go, oh, Don Cheech. I kiss him on both. And then him and his wife order Chinese food. It's a fucking, and the Long Island people, there's a right pocket, a real right wing is there, and anyways. And then the next night at the

Paramount in Peekskill, New York on May 7th, which is a Saturday night. And then, oh good, is that it? I'm not renting a fucking car, Tommy. You better come get me. Then I'm back down here in the South two weeks later. Jesus Christ, I am.

At the Comedy Cabana in Myrtle Beach, which I had a ball at. And it's right on Myrtle Beach. May 20th and 21st. The club was awesome last time. And I'm really looking forward to that one. There was some everybody had a Harley Davidson fucking vest on or missing a tooth and tattoos, and those were just the chicks. Good night, everybody.

Where's my rim shot? Then in September, I'm back in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, picking up trash along the highway for something I did in high school. Other dates will be announced next week, too, so keep checking back. All tickets to my shows are available by going to nickdip.com, clicking on the tour button. That's nickdip.com. Click on that tour button, yo. Let's go on to a guy who's trying to make a difference, but like I

said, I'm so cynical, I don't know who to believe anymore Ron DeSantis what did he do he took a big dump on the Philly mayor yesterday a well-deserved one excuse me that slipped out that was that uh Salmon Wellington nickname for a snap listen Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is running a oh my god I got a cocaine problem a little drip Ron DeSantis is running a new online ad attacking Philly Mayor Jim Kenney for reinstating the city's indoor mask mandate after he was pictured maskless in Florida. You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. Look at that stupid face. Who does he look like?

God damn it. He looks like some actor that's kind of famous. The lockdown. The lockdown libs. This is DeSantis talking. Are back on the road for another nationwide tour. DeSantis campaign tweeted. Mr.

Kenny, a Democrat, traveled to Florida in May 2021 and was photographed at an outdoor restaurant table maskless. The city's mask mandate for indoor public places, including schools and daycares, went back into effect on Monday. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. on Monday. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. That is just a power-hungry jerk-off. Kids can't get it.

Unfucking real. You could have a 90-year-old obese Chinese guy spitting a kid's mouth. I want him to... And I'll pay a quarter to see that in a booth. Mr. DeSantis, a Republican who was running for a second term

and may be eyeing the 2024 presidential run, has repeatedly bashed Democrat lawmakers for imposing or supporting mask mandates and then traveling to Florida, his state, and shedding their masks, like their skin, because they're filthy snakes. No Floridian will be restricted, mandated, or locked down in any possible way, Mr. DeSantis tells a cheering crowd in the ad. Mr. DeSantis leads by double digits the two Democrats vying for their party's nomination. Rep Charlie Crist, he used to be a Republican, by the way. And Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Freed.

Well, yeah, you got the fucking chops to be anything. Agriculture. Go back and pick an artichoke. The list of DeSantis labeled lockdown politicians who have appeared in Florida includes you guys remember these? They all got busted. Democrats,

AOC Cortez of New York. You fucking whore. Exactly. Yeah, AOC Cortez of New York. You fucking whore. Exactly. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.

And, of course, a buddy who farted on the air. Remember on MSNBC Live? Fucking shithead Swalwell. There he is. Look at him. Lady just. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man.

They are such... Do you guys get it, though? Do you understand? They're the ruling class. They're the elites telling you, the masses, the unwashed, filthy people. They have a disdain for you. They have more respect for the fucking garbage. Not all garbage, by the way. Some people come pouring over the border that want the right thing.

But little do they realize in 10 years, they're going to head back to their place. Your politicians pretending to represent you despise you. Donald Trump's the only one. And even if he's faking it, he does a great job. Which he doesn't. I think he, I don't know. I'm going to run next week, so I'm putting my name on the ballot with a red Sharpie. I told you somebody voted for me in Minneapolis like 10 years ago.

They took a picture of it while they were in the booth. Guess what? I came in second. It's a capitalist country, folks. Just enjoy it, will you? I'll tell you who's really going to enjoy it. Huh? MLB. For you gay people, that's Major League Baseball.

Nick, what does that mean? Are you saying gay people? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Sandy Koufax is the only gay guy that ever played. Maybe DiMaggio. People, there's a theory about DiMaggio. You know how gay guys always love Marilyn Monroe shit and they dress impeccably?

That was DiMaggio. There's a rumor out there, but no fag's gonna hit fucking 354 or whatever. Unless he's using his cock as a bat and aiming at his... Anyways, Nick, get on with it. Stop with your horse shit. Okay.

Headline, MLB money-grubbing whores. The San Diego Padres. Oh, they caved in first, huh? San Diego. Who would have guessed? The fucking guy that made a million dollars. Don't they have a chicken? San Diego chicken? That was their mascot.

San Diego Padres are pitching Motorola. Motorola. Motorola's still around. My Uncle Al, my father's brother, he's been dead for probably 10 years, that was his nickname, Mote. And we never understood why,

me and my brothers and sisters growing up, until some guy explained it to me. He used to sell Motorola TVs out of the back of his car. They called him Big Mote. Anyways, I got stories about him throwing bricks at people's heads. The San Diego Padres are pitching Motorola phones to their fans, becoming the first MLB team to strike a deal to feature ads on its uniforms. Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. That's how I feel.

Padres players will wear Motorola logo patches. Oh my God. It's not enough. They're on the fences and shit. And now you can do the, you know, on TV they do the virtual, which is kind of cool. I'm watching a hockey game. The Bruins are like in St. Louis and it says TD Bank. And I'm like, that's, oh yeah. I don't like it on the uniforms. There's always been ads. People get mad like there's ads on the hockey. If you watch all baseball clips, like Brooklyn Dodger, there's signs, there's shit

all over the wall. But this, can you just, can you already, it's going to look like a NASCAR, these guys. Number 43, you know, tampon. Padres players wear Motorola logo patches on their sleeves and a dill pickle jar over their head instead of a batting helmet. And we'll be the first team to reach such a deal after the league announced it would allow teams to sell patch ads on uniforms and sticker ads on helmets.

I despise it with every fiber of my being. Oh, God. It's bad enough. If you listen to baseball now, even in hockey, the Bruins, when they have the Ford 150 Final Five, last five minutes of the game. It's sponsored by Ford 150 or whatever. And the Yankees, when I lived in New York and you watch the Yankees,

every guy that came to play, it's like, who was the Japanese guy that played right field? Hideki Matsui? Matsui, right? Literally, he'd come to the plate. This brought to you by, you know, chopsticks and fucking dog feet. Yeah. Somebody steals a bass, brought to you by, I'm not kidding you. They'd steal a bass and they'd do a ad for, you know, protecting your information online and shit. Phil Mushnick wrote a whole article about it. It's fucking insane.

It started with relief pitches back in the 70s. You know who jumped on it? You remember Rolaids you take for, still around, for antacid? And their thing was for fast relief? They jumped on it. They had the Rolaids pitcher of the year, relief pitcher of the year. I think Goose Gossage won it.

So that sort of triggered it. Maybe before that, I don't know. The Padres will have the ads placed on the right sleeves of left-handed hitters. Let me demonstrate that for you. Well, I'm a backwards hit. Well, forget it. It's complicated when you're doing it this way.

But, you know, if this is your lead arm, here you go. The patch will be right here. Right under the, you know, somebody who died. Right? On the right slate and for left-handers and pitchers, vice versa, for right-handed players. Allow them for more prominent display on TV. Oh, my God.

Why don't you just have a tattoo, you know, Toyota? We are thrilled to partner with a quintessential and listen to the bullshit line they use because they know we're all seeing right through this for the money grab that it is. Listen to how they partner with a quintessential and innovative brand like Motorola to bring cutting-edge technology design and performance to Petco Park, said Padre's CEO Eric Grubner in a statement. Motorola's iconic logo on our jersey is a perfect alignment with our Padre's brand. How do you figure?

And we look forward to teaming up to provide a great experience for our fans. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? No. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Plenty of wasps involved. Matter of fact, the commission's Italian.

Don't start with that shit. The deal was made possible by the MLB amending a section of its rules that prohibited uniforms from including designs related to commercial ads. An amendment. Why do you say they ripped it out for the money? An amendment announced in March 10th memo. A club may license, this is how it reads, to a third-party commercial sponsor's right to place their name, logos, and or marks on the uniform provided that the patch or designs is approved in advance.

Why would they turn it down? By the office of the commissioner after consultation with the Players Association. The proposal reads, oh, for God's sake. That's what it's going to look like. Looks like a NASCAR. Why would they turn it down? What are they going to go, no, that one's too crude, a tampon ad. Then they'll go, yeah, but they want to give us $7 million.

Okay, get it on the helmet, put it on his cleats. Unbelievable. Again, it's what's bad and what's great about our country that's all i can say uh uniform ad deals are set to begin in 2023 i'm crazy boy you see how that goes right through they've been working on a pitch clock for about 10 years right but you see when it comes to putting money in their pocket, uniform ad deals set to begin 2023, with the MLB still considering whether to begin sticker helmet ads during the

2022 post. Oh, my God. We're not even going to have to wait until next year. This is priceless, is it not? It's going to be interesting. A guy gets beamed in the head right off, look at right off to the, right off the spam ad.

I don't know, folks. I don't know what I'm saying. Hey, thanks to all of you monthly subscribers who answered the call yesterday. We message you, we message you all and ask you to leave the show a voicemail and tell us who specifically you're going to vote for this fall. Oh, that's why. In your local race and why we should know about them. Brilliant question. Like we're not going to fucking know the answer to that, Tommy. I'm not Shepard Smith up here this guy clearly missed that part

so the one calling he didn't even talk about what we wanted him to do we abandoned this whole thing this guy clearly missed the part but that's okay we're gonna play his message anyway because he's a listener from Alaska by the way and I'm never gonna talk there Jamie Lissow was a very funny comedian. I think I'm saying his name right. He's on Gutfeld all the time. He's the only comic I think that lives. He lives in Alaska.

God help us. But here's the call we got. Hey, Nicky. It's Joe Wooden, a monthly subscriber from Anchorage, Alaska. It's Joe Wooden, a monthly subscriber from Anchorage, Alaska. And I'm voting from the local to the presidential races for all of the conservative Republicans because the conservatives are the party of common sense. And the libs, the fucking quits! Keep being funny, brother.

I love you. Keep up the good fight. Talk to you later. Could you tell he had a cold? It's Alaska. It kicked up into the teens, I think, in June. I was stationed for my first three years in the Army. Oh, my God.

God bless you, Dallas. My sister and her husband lived in Fairbanks, I think. Fairbanks is even worse. I think it was Fairbanks, I think. Fairbanks is even worse. I think it was Fairbanks. He worked for Exxon or some shit. I don't know. He sounded like he had a fucking call. What did I want to say to him about, oh, he's voting up and down the line, which is cute.

He's still voting after that last federal presidential election? Good for you, buddy. Somebody has to do it. I can't promise I'm going to because I don't believe any of this shit. The more I watch the news, I don't believe any of these district attorney. I don't believe these mayors. The Klan predicted all this stuff, by the way. My late great buddy, I told you, Greg,

the cop went undercover, and he had to go undercover to a white supremacist, and they predicted all this shit. You know, the Klansmen were very, they're going to have all their, they blamed a certain ethnicity, but they're going to have black police commissioners, black judges, blah, blah, blah.

My buddy said he was laughing his balls off because at that point, they didn't think that would ever happen. And here we are. All right, so vote, please do. I'd be afraid to live in a state where you go down for coffee in the morning and you have these two moose in line in front of you.

Right? That's not far from the truth. I know. My sister used to send pictures. She's out shopping in downtown, and there's a moose coming down the sidewalk.

How can you shoot a moose? I saw a moose actually waiting at a crosswalk for the actual go sign to turn green, and I'm not even bullshitting. I believe you. There's a little moose thing

on the... How can you shoot a moose? Me and Ted, of course, Ted Nugent feels otherwise. How the fuck? They're dangerous though, man. Well, yeah, you're dangerous if you go up and tickle their nuts. So am I.

You're a guy who couldn't hit a moose. I could hit one with a softball from 300 yards. Anyways, thanks Joe for the voicemail. For the rest of you monthly subscribers, I could hit one with a softball from 300 yards. Anyways, anyways, thanks. Thank Joe for the voicemail. For the rest of you monthly subscribers on Patreon and the Comics Gym,

leave me a message tonight, and we'll play one on tomorrow's show. To subscribe, go to thecomicsgym.com or patreon.com. What else would you like me to do to entice you to sign up monthly? I've been working on my ass. There are white niggers. I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Watch your mouth there, Mr. Moran. What a bird.

What's the headline? Black bully. This is in our RTR segment, reverse the racist segment tonight. A former assistant principal is suing a Virginia school board claiming that she was forced out of her job for a slip of the tongue during a mandatory, mandatory anti-racism training based on critical race theory. Let me translate that for you. To be shamed and humiliated because you're a white person working at that school on the staff. Emily Mace, who was the assistant principal at Agnor Hurt Elementary School, accused the school district in a lawsuit filed Thursday of pushing her out in the fall 2021 after she mistakenly used the word colored people as she railed against the training session.

Okay? You've heard my take on this. People of color refer to themselves as people of color. So why would colored people be wrong? Because it was used back in the day? This is more what I call linguistic bullying. From the left. Fuck you.

We have a picture of the school board. There you go. I despise it with every fiber of my being. No, you don't. This is the school board at this school. Nice rack on the one, two in from the left. All right. Look at, she's smiling.

Look at them nipples. Though Mays apologized for the slip of the tongue, that's not enough. Though Mays apologized for the slip of the tongue, that's not enough. Teacher's aide, who is black, verbally attacked her in front of all training attendees. The lawsuit filed in Albemarle County claims. So, you know, just obviously they hate white people at that school, the staff. Kill the white people! That was a song at the prom they play imagine again let's reverse it let's for fucking reverse it school boards all white persons black is there

any condition where they would ask a black whatever she is to leave the school because of a slip of the tongue. No. A black, what is she, a teacher? I don't even fucking know. A black teacher could say, I didn't mean to say motherfucking cracker. And there'd be nothing.

There'd be nothing. She'd get promoted. So just for, it's a double standard. I'm sick of pointing out, but I do anyway. The aide accused her, the black aide accused her of speaking like old racists. What did I tell you? This is what we are rotting the fabric.

It's all every turn. Yesterday I did stories about, right? Remember that in Arizona, those two people, that was their job to look for racial animus. It's making it worse. You're exacerbating the situation. The aide accused her of speaking like old racists who told people of college to go to the back of the bus. The complaint says, oh my God. I saw it.

Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. Following that training, Mace said that multiple colleagues told her that the teacher's aide and her friends were openly calling her vulgar names at work, including that white racist bitch and that two-faced racist bitch. Mace complained to the principal that the harassment was causing her substantial emotional distress, preventing her from focusing on her job and making it impossible for her to effectively manage the employees involved in the harassment. But the principal, I'm guessing the principal's black.

I don't think the principal refused to take any action to address her concerns. Doesn't necessarily have to be black. Now I think about could be a white progressive. The complaint says anyways, it's just I can't. You fat, nasty, black bitch. May submitted her resignation on, here's a woman trying to do good, help kids and fuck you. You know what? Taxi. On August 29th, she left her job, no, she left the job on September 10th after being forced to apologize. See, it's not enough just to canter. Forced to apologize.

forced to apologize. See, it's not enough just to canter. Forced to apologize. You got to do the perp walk. I almost wish I was working in education or had a 9 to 5 job. I would have fucking lost my sh— I would be homeless by now. Forced to apologize to her colleagues and what her lawyers described as ritual shaming. This is where we are, folks. Let me remind people, black people out there, not all of you, obviously, I live in Savannah, I love it, 60%. You people, black people and white people that back shit like this up, what you're doing is ruining white people's lives who had nothing to do with what you keep pointing to in the past, slavery and how it set you back, blah, blah, blah. Okay? She had nothing to do with it. I had nothing to do, the people you're taking it out on. And I'm talking to white people in power,

Democrats mostly. I mean, if you're a black person, you'd probably go for the ride. What the fuck? But just remember that. I don't know who I'm talking to. They're all my fans. Could you pass that to your friends? Your black friends, every one of you? All three of them? On information and belief from beginning to end,

the apology meeting was, this is a lawyer talk, was carefully orchestrated by district officials, oh, blah, to humiliate, shame, and traumatize Ms. Mays for an accidental slip of the tongue in order to make an example of her and to communicate to other district employees the type of punishment that would occur if anyone did question the new reigning anti-racist orthodoxy. And then he got a little crazy. I don't know what you're smiling at, Waterman.

Now she has to go, which is racist at its core, the filing says. Instead of training faculty members to embrace students of all races, Albemarle County school officials are using a curriculum that promotes racial discrimination. Kate Anderson, director of the ADF Center for Parental Rights, said that in a prepared statement. She said, the training sets up a classic catch-22. It encourages all staff members to speak their truth, but when a white person like Emily raises concerns about the divisive content, she is deemed a racist in need of further anti-racism instruction. I knew right away she was on the right side because she's pretty.

Honest to God, if you put that up earlier, you know, it was a lefty, horns, mustache. And she's exactly right. And you know what's encouraging? That now it's being pointed out. She said if she was, you know, if you're white, blah, blah, blah. They don't even say that.

Even on Fox News, they can't say, they don't go black. They can't talk, say black people. You know what I mean? Until we get to that point, I cringe. I cringe when they do race stories, whether it's, you know, on CNN or Fox, because you're not coming anywhere near the truth. or false, because you're not coming anywhere near the truth. There is no issue where the gap is bigger as far as what's said in public as opposed to what's said in private.

There's no other than right. It's fucking ridiculous. That's enough for today, folks. My nipples are stinging. It's Wednesday already. Holy moly. It's creepy, isn't it, Dallas? Is that fucking creepy? Tomorrow's Thursday?

God, I love it. Anyhow, don't forget to sign up. Please, talk some of your friends into it. Thecomicsgym.com, patreon.com, nickdip.com. You can buy merchandise there. Click the store button.

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We will see you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. Have a good day. guitar solo Outro Music