The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jim Florentine | Nick Di Paolo Show #1440

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews comedian Jim Florentine! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 welcome to the show on a filthy monday ladies and gentlemen uh i hate mondays but this is a good monday my guest today an old friend of mine a very funny comic you know him I think he invented Crank Yankers That Metal Show on VH1 and lately a lot of appearances on Greg Gutfeld's show it's the very funny Jimmy Florentine

Jimmy how you doing? I'm doing good Nick it's good to see you man same here I can't see you right now hold on a second I'm doing good, Nick. It's good to see you, man. Same here. I can't see you right now. Hold on a second. You can? There we go. Should we do that again? We're going to do it one more time.

All right. My guest today, an old friend of mine, a very funny comedian. You know him from Crank Yankers, that metal show on VH1 for many years. And I see him a lot on Greg Gutfeld's show. So please welcome my old buddy, Jimmy Florentine. It's good to see you, Nick. Jimmy, look at the, let's, first of all, let's get to the beard.

I never seen, I never saw you with facial hair, Perry. I never saw you with a goatee. You're always clean shaven. And let me tell you, you look like you were born with that fucking thing. Yeah, I don't know. I just stopped shaving one day. I used to always have sideburns, but I had a bad mustache when I was like 18, so I looked older so I'd get liquor, you know,

because I figured they looked older when I was 21. But I never had facial hair, and I just started growing it. I'm like, all right, I'm going to continue it. It looks like you've had it your whole life. Now, the broads, I just read a survey. I'm not kidding. They like guys more with facial hair, which surprised me. Yeah, I think

there's a little more traction now with the facial hair. It's a bad time to have a girlfriend for me. I grew a beard. It's like now I might shave it off just to keep them, you know, just so I'm not tempted. No, you got,

you got to leave it. You look like you're on the cover of fucking just for men. Yeah, no, I was surprised when I started gut feeling. I'm like, holy, first of all,

not that it's turned into a gay show, but you look way, you look way younger with the, with the beard. I don't know how that works. Yeah, that's what I heard. That's what people are saying. It's like, all right, I'll go with that.

That's fine. Absolutely. Pick up a seventh grader. Everybody else is doing it. Who the fuck? That's too old. So let's get right to, first of all, last night, I know you went to see your old buddy and one of my favorites.

I had him on the show once, but one of my rock girl heroes, you went to see Ted Nugent at the Starland Ballroom where I've done comedy. I think you've done comedy there too, right? Yeah.

We've done stand up there, right? It was, yeah, right in my backyard. It was phenomenal. He played an hour and a half. He opened with the Star Spangled Banner

on his guitar. He was shitting on Biden the whole backyard. It was phenomenal. He played an hour and a half. He opened with the Star Spangled Banner on his guitar. He was shitting on Biden the whole night. It was great. It's like going to see a right-wing comic who can play the shit out of a guitar, right? It was fun. They had a screen on the stage before the band came on just advertising upcoming shows. Yeah. And at one point, like every 11th picture that came on was an advertiser for Bud Light.

And the whole crowd just booed every time. It was hilarious. Oh, man. Yeah, only in Jersey they'd still be selling that shit. Now, you know Ted pretty good, you said. Yeah, yeah, because, you know, I've been a fan for a while. I do a show on Ozzy's Bone. You're on a SiriusXM hard rock show.

So I play a lot of his stuff stuff and I've had him on my show a bunch of times. Great dude. 75 years old up there. Sounding amazing with all the energy in the world. Crazy. He was born with that energy. He talks about it. You can tell. And you watch these...

I go back on YouTube and I go, Charlie Daniels... Remember Charlie Daniels would do that thing every year? I forget what the hell it was called, somewhere in Memphis, but he'd fly Ted in and Ted would steal the fucking show. I saw him when I was 15, I think, 1977, around at the Cape Cod Coliseum. And I'm not shitting you, Jimmy. I told him when I had him on the show, he damaged my left ear permanently. And I said, I wear it like a badge of honor.

I saw him on a Friday night, and I'm not shitting you. Over 10 or 12 days later, my ear was still fucking ringing. It never came back. No, I knew. I've been to so many of his shows. I just started wearing earplugs after all these years. I'm no i'm going bareback i don't you know it's like wearing a condom i'm like no but as i get older i go i want to have some hearing so but my brother and my brother-in-law didn't have men like oh my i can't even hear that was so loud again i had the

earplugs in so so he played for about uh 90 minutes and he was dropping some op eds in their political stuff. And did he bring up Trump's indictments or probably just talked in general about how much he hates Biden? Yeah, no, he said he said I play the Star Spangled Banner. I play for Trump's one of Trump's rallies. I do it at Trump's round the place, whatnot. And then he just he has a song called Come and Get It. It goes, come and get it. So instead he has the crowd saying, fuck Joe Biden.

And the whole place is doing it. It's hilarious. Which is so funny because, I mean, I, as a kid, knew nothing about him, you know, and long haired hippie shit. He sang Great White Buffalo and he shits on like the white, you know and uh long-haired hippie shit he's saying great white buff great white buffalo and he shits on like the white uh you know what she had a right to they killed all the buffalo so i didn't know like where he stood on his politics obviously i was young and i didn't really give a fuck but then i then i saw him on letterman years ago talking about the second amendment

and some fucking lady piped up in the audience and And he goes, yeah, boo all you want. It's the truth. He fucking went off on her. And he was just, yeah, when I had him on the show, I was actually nervous to talk to him because I fucking, it's so funny too, Jimmy. You don't see his name in many guitar, as great, you know, the greatest guitarists of all time because of his fucking politics.

I sort of know a little about that. I was never on the fucking, as big a star as Ted, you know, the greatest guitarist of all time because of his fucking politics. I sort of know a little about that. I was never on the fucking, as big a star as Ted Nugent, but I know what it feels like to always being on the outside, looking in when it comes to industry horse shit like that. Well, case in point, he's not on the rock and roll hall of fame because of his politics.

He should 100% be in no question about it. Can you fucking imagine? He's never even been nominated. He's never even been in the nomination because of his politics. It's all Rolling Stone, Jan Wenner, all those douchebags.

Yeah. You know, so they've always held grudges. Meanwhile, you know, I like Rage Against the Machine and Tom Morello, but they were in the first, like the second year they were eligible.

Rage Against the Machine, they put three albums out because Tom's politics are left. Right. Which is fine. But anyone from the right, but they were in the second year they were eligible. Ray Jets, Sheen, they put three albums out. Because Tom's politics are left, which is fine, but anyone from the right, you're not in. Even Bon Jovi knew, like, alright, I gotta go far left. I wanna get in the Rock World Hall of Fame, like Bruce Springsteen and shit like that. So he's like, okay, I'll stump for

John Kerry or whoever he stumped for. He knew. And that's how he got in. Yeah, sell your fucking heart out, John, you bitch. Yeah, it's just aggravating. Boy, it's one thing about the lefties. They're fucking, you can't step out of line. You got to fucking goose step with them, even when it comes to shit like that. And Stevie Van Zandt sounds so stupid when he talks politics.

Springsteen, and I love these guys. I mean, I love the E Street Band. Springsteen sounds like a fucking moron when he talks politics. Springsteen, and I love these guys. I mean, I love the E Street Band. Springsteen sounds like a fucking moron when he talks politics. He's not a big cop fan. He showed us True Colors fucking when the Amadou Diallo thing came out and he's shitting on New York cops. And then Van Zandt fucking, you know, saying,

yeah, Springsteen had that Broadway show and he wanted to play to people, just people who were vaccinated. And I go, that's all you need to fucking know, man. It's that Jersey, New York, that strain of liberalism fucking digs deep in the tri-state area. Connecticut, too. I know. I'm lucky that the town I live in in Jersey, all people from Brooklyn and Staten Island moved here.

So they don't take any of that shit. It's the great, I have the greatest neighbors. They're animals. The women just fight at the schools. They're trying to pass this thing in Jersey. Like if your kid wants to transition at school, they're going to protect them. Like if he wants to be, if my son Luke wants to be called Louise, they could call him Louise at school and they're not going to let me know, the parents know.

Or if he wants to start transitioning or taking Louise at school and they're not going to let me know. The parents know. If he wants to start transitioning or taking meetings or counseling, they're not going to tell the parents. And Governor Murphy is suing our town like two other towns because we're the three towns fighting it because it's a law in New Jersey. They'll call

home when my kid misses his homework, but my kid wants to be called fucking Louise and we're not going to tell you or he comes home with his dick and a gauze yeah but the nurse cut it off i feel like a woman they're not going to tell me the hell out of here i don't know the louise florentine get a nice kind of rolls off the i could imagine jimmy's is as alpha male as you're going to get and i can't imagine this is, and I regret not having, I mean,

every day I think about it, but I also, when I see the shit that like you guys go through with your kids today, I go, I'm glad. Cause I would have fucking, I would have been in jail. I would have choked a principal to death.

I saw my father fucking, you know, almost choke a teacher. This is back in the seventies for Christ's sake. I'm treating my sister Gina like shit. This fourth grade teacher hated my sister Gina. She used to come home crying. My old man almost fucking choked her.

I can't imagine seeing you at a, you know, because comics, this is what we do. We say what everybody else is thinking in the room. Hey guys and gals, in the second half of the show, I will continue my interview with Jimmy Florentine, and it only gets funnier. We start to dig into some real dirt that happened to us.

It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdip.com. Hey boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much.

See you soon. By the way, let me reset this like a pro broadcast i'm talking to the great jimmy florentine uh yeah so how do you handle that jimmy does he have how old is your son first of all he's 12 he's going into seven oh he's already fucking 12 he went to ted well he's gonna be 13 in a couple weeks he went to ted nuja with me last night he loved it i thought he was like six and i'm like jesus he's bringing him the nugent to fucking blow those little ears out he's been like yeah he's been like 20 shows already he bought a ted nugent shirt it's an american flag and it says this is my pride flag with ted nugent on the top yeah he worked he worked a rec camp

today oh you'll be getting wearing it you'll be getting a call i I can't wait. Please, dude, you'll be getting a call for some fucking whiny fucking Karen. No, I told them. I said, just say, hey, my whole family's in the military. I support their flag. So what's the problem? And then I go, if they keep giving you a hard time, go, look, my dad's gay. So it's nothing against gay people. They'll just say I'm gay.

Throw me under their bus. I don't care. My dad invented a show called Crank Yankers. Does that get any gayer? For Christ's sake. Oh, that's hilarious. I would pay to be a fly on the wall when somebody called you and said, yeah, your son, he can't wear that shirt.

And if your son said, hey, my family's in the military, they'll kick him right out of the goddamn camp. Yeah. His friend two days ago wore a shirt that said, there's only two genders. They made him take it off. They made his mom bring another shirt. So I said, go for it. I'll bring a shirt if I have to, but fight for it.

Tell him what's the problem. Tell him your dad's gay. What was funny about it is when they made him take the shirt off, he had two nice tits that just spilled out. Can you imagine imagine who the fuck do these people think they are, Jimmy? It's insane. I don't know how anybody, again, I never let politics get in the way of friendships, but it's more than politics now. It's about, hey, if you vote that way and you're voting for these policy, that's again.

And I'm saying this with a caveat that elections are legitimate. I'm really questioning that now, too. But if they are, I don't want to hang out with somebody who's all right with what they're doing to President Trump right now. I don't want I it's bigger than politics to me. That's like you're all right. You hate this country that much that you're all right especially in our business you don't mind people getting arrested for what they're thinking now it's crazy man you know like usually as a comic it used to be the conservatives or the uptight ones so i was like i was more liberal because i was a comic i wanted to say what the hell i wanted right Right. And the Democrats were on your side. Right.

Now it's the complete opposite as a comic. Like, how could you stand for that? You're okay with that? Yeah. They've taken away words when they're going to decide when you could say a word and when you can't. Like, okay, I can't say to Cleveland Indians anymore. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean Indians. But a year ago I could.

So now all of a sudden you're going to put that in my head that I made a mistake? Fuck you. It really is insane. And that's a great example. I thought the Indian fans handled that shitty. They should have just acted like it never happened. Show up every night at the ballpark with your Indian gear, refer to them as the Indians. What are they going to rest? 60,000, 30,000. Okay. 10,000. They suck this year. Um, but, But you know what I mean? I thought they should have just kept going along like it never happened. Well, Cleveland, you know, Cleveland, that city's completely changed. It used to be blue-collar like Pittsburgh, like Buffalo.

It's not anymore. It's really left, that city. Yeah, they go to brunch on Sunday. Guys walk around going, oh, it's Sunday Funday. Who does that? Sunday Funday. Who does that? What man goes, oh, it's Sunday fun day. Who does that? Sunday fun day. Who does that? What man goes, oh, it's Sunday fun day. Let's go get brunch.

Jim David. Jim David. Jim David was a very gay comic friend of ours who got in my face because I was making fun of AIDS. I have a lot of friends. I said about Jim David, he was one of these close talkers. And I still like Jimmy.

I hope he sees it. But he's one of these guys that talks this far from your face. And I said to the guys at the table at the cellar one night, I go, Jim David's the only one when he's talking. You hope that's garlic on his breath. Nick, I miss watching you in New York City do a set. And it was like watching a meltdown. Oh, yeah. It was my favorite thing ever because the first joke wouldn't hit.

And you just call them the C words, Hillary, Oprah people, screaming at the crowd. And the next three jokes worked. And the next one dies. And you scream at them again. That's my legacy. That's all people. I loved it. You did.

Nobody enjoyed it more than Jimmy because, Christ, even years later, I'd go into the stand-up New York on a Tuesday night with about 40 people in there

and, you know, I'd be going and I'd look over and Jimmy's in the fucking doorway crying. I'm just cackling in the back. Yeah.

I like some of that and I regret some of it. swear to god i don't make an excuse jimmy i used to sit at the goddamn table and have too many drinks before i went on and then fuck i swear i i would just i was never i'd never softly spoken on stage but that didn't help i you know you go down there every night for 20 years it feels like you go to a factory job so i was never in the best of mood and i'm one those guys, if you're in a bad mood and you put alcohol on top of it, it just magnifies. So I remember tables of freshman girls from NYU leaving crying. And Noam had, I told you, Noam sat me down a few years ago.

He goes, look, my father and I love the way you stick your finger in the eye of political correctness. He goes, but you're making it harder on us now. Because they were getting so much hate mail. And I didn't even argue with them. I said, no. I go, I'm not even going to push back one ounce. Because I go, there's times that I've left here knowing that I'm making it hard on you guys. And I didn't feel good about it on the way home. But don't get me wrong, folks.

Fucking, I don't have to worry about any of that now. I still go nuts. But Jimmy. I'll tell you, nuts. I'll tell you, Nick. I work at the stand all the time now. They opened a new club. They got an upstairs-downstairs. It's in Union Square now. Yeah.

Have I been to that? I went to one. Did they have one in between when they had the original stand and the one you're going to now? Was there one just for a bit in Midtown somewhere? Or is that the one I'm thinking? No, they would,

they would move it around. They would do like these pop-up shows, but this place, I'm telling you, there's 22 year old girls and guys like 22 year olds coming into this club that live in the city. And they're not, they're not offended.

You could get away. Really? I think this new generation is going to be different. I really very interesting the only stuff you got the race stuff they still won't go for to get a little queasy from coming from a white guy but other than that they're pretty much all in they're not groaners they're not walking out or anything all right let me i i i have faith in these new kids coming up okay now when you say that because race to me is a litmus test. When they start laughing at that shit. But now, if they're laughing at midget jokes and shit, that's not what you're talking about, right?

Because that's not. You could do tranny jokes. Oh, all right. All right. And stuff like that. And really, like, you know, misogynist jokes they're okay with and stuff, which is beautiful. And it's not even misogynist jokes they're okay with and stuff, which is beautiful. And it's not even misogynist. It's not.

Jimmy has the same, sort of the same flavor as me when you're just defending, and I was saying this years ago, probably why my career never went anywhere, I would defend white, straight fucking males. And people would look at me like I'm not saying it. And I didn't realize that, it. And I didn't realize that I didn't realize that fucking Joseph

Stalin's family was running show business. you know, you know, and Tough Crowd, like I said, that for me, Tough Crowd was a good and bad thing for me. It was good that people loved that I was speaking the way I was.

But, you know, it also, the industry is so left. I don't think it did me any favors after that, but it's the only way, it's the only way I know how to do it. And you too. I've never seen you.

No, I'm never going to compromise. I'm going to do what I think is funny. I've never changed my act at all. I've been on a, I shouldn't say this anymore. If I feel like saying it, I say it. One, I always like saying it, I say it.

I always said about you, I go, look, you still had an amazing career. But I always said, Nick, I know what's holding you back. Like all the executives at Comedy Central and all these other places, you remind them of the guy that had sex with him in high school and then never called him back.

Of course I like you. And you remind them of that want to and you you remind him of that guy i thought you're talking about the guys that run the industry no no the girls so i'm just saying fuck i only fuck two guys in high school or you remind him of the guy you got the girl and then the nerdy guy that was fixing a computer and setting up a cable you came in again i'm gonna i'm gonna take it we're going out for drinks and left him there fix setting everything up and you banged her that night people so you reminded her that guy and that's why they never gave you should have been at a whole other level it's funny you said that because Lenny Clark uh I'm an open miker I'm not even a probably about a year and a half in maybe

two years in was just starting to do sets at Stitches in Boston. Lenny Clark had a show there. And I met Lenny one night and he said to me, kid, he goes, the girls are going to love you. The boyfriend's going to fucking hate you. Right before I went on stage.

And I was like, people right now looking and going, what are they talking about? I looked a little better than this, folks. But there's some truth to that, but then I would go out and Mike Clark and Lenny's brother still talks about me. He was on Rogue a few years ago talking about me. He goes, DePaulo would get all the girls and fucking treat them like shit. I didn't always treat them

like shit. I was treating them the way you guys treat them. I'm not proud when I look back now, being a little mature. I'm 61. I'm almost dead. What am I going to apologize? But Mike Clark would laugh, go, I would see him with fucking he'd bring a different one to a club every night and fucking tell it, like, give me a drink. Those are Boston women. That's how they wanted to be treated. I know. They were tougher than guys, some of them.

They were. Yeah, like, okay, yeah. They would call you a pussy. I could never out-drink them. That's why I never got laid in Boston. Because they'll drink with you until like 6. I can't hang until 6 in the morning and do it 17 shots. They can pound. That is no bullshit, man. They could, again, a lot of Irish.

They can fucking pound in Boston. The girls would. Yeah, so Mike Clark still says that. I don't know why he was so mad at women. You know, people always say to him, what are you so pissed about? You're a good looking guy. And I go, I don't know. I'm from a line of assholes. My father was

angry. My grandfather, my grandfather would kick the, this is true Jimmy, you'll love this. Every time he'd let the dog out at night, he'd kick the dog in the ass on the way out the door. Yeah. And my father goes, Pa, why do you have to do that? He looks at my father and goes, show him who's the boss.

Makes sense. So I do it to my wife now. No, makes sense. For those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of my interview with the great Jimmy Florentine. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's full show

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