The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jim Norton | Nick Di Paolo Show #1462

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews comedian Jim Norton! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Welcome, folks, on a filthy Thursday. State of Georgia, how are you? My guest today, as you know, we get guests now and then on this show. I don't like to get many guests because I don't like to talk to people. That's why this show, this genre is perfect for me. Pretend I'm a star in my bedroom. It's fucking great. Anyways, my guest today, an old friend of mine, just one of the funniest people on or off stage i have ever met and um he's had

quite a career he works like a maniac um he's what we call a gym rat in the business you can find him every night in a club working on stuff and those are the people who succeed um he's a host of jim and sam very successful radio show on Sirius XM. He's got a podcast, UFC Unfiltered, with Matt Serra, and many comedy specials, too many to mention, a couple of books. It's my old pal, Jimmy Norton. Jimmy, how are you?

Hi, buddy. I was just thinking how funny it is that here we are, like from Tough Crowd and all these years we've been working together, and here we are talking on Zoom 25 years later. It's just great. I know. I guess it is.

It is. You brought up Tough Crowd. And I'm going to bring this up right off the bat. I did something when we were rehearsing the first episode of Tough Crowd. And I jumped down your throat with something. I swear to God, to me, it affected our relationship, the trajectory of it for the next few years. Remember that at the end of Tough Crowd?

No. Well, then maybe I blew it up in my own head, but I felt bad. Remember in Tough Crowd, some of the episodes we got to do that thing at the end of the show where you look into the camera and do two minutes? Yes.

And we were rehearsing that the day before the first one we ever did. And I, for some reason, thought I had the authority to tell you, you went long. Do you remember that? No. What I remember from those first eight episodes, we did eight, the first eight episodes,

they were done at the end of 2002. We did like, the first one I think was me, was it me, you, Janine, and T. Sean Shannon. Was it the first one i think was me was it me eugene and um t sean shannon was it the first one that sounds about right yeah and there was one where i you got mad at me and you called me you fat pig or you fat and i but you were right i was and i remember thinking jim you got to lose weight if that's the go-to insult that was very helpful because i realized like i was such a fatty that when someone snapped at me they immediately said you fat and i'm like jim you

got to do something i quit smoking and ballooned up i put on 30 pounds so it helped me oh my god you sure i wasn't saying that to patrice that was you would know you hit me with it you wouldn't have been fat enough to call a fat fuck i get i don't know but dude i i had those pictures i was a blimp in the first uh first season of tough crowd but right after that i remember going what the fuck this guy just dropped about third but no i said we were rehearsing and you did your thing and i had the nerve to go dude don't go long and we got into a little bit and you go you're fucking delusional. I guess we were both right. I shouldn't go along and you're crazy. Yeah, but who was I to say?

Honestly, God, it bugged me. To this day, I was still thinking about it. I don't know why I did that. I think I was jealous of you at that point because O and A, you had just started with them and you know how us comics are like fucking bitches so he's getting all that heat that I don't know what prompted it but I should have

never fucking it's been eating away at me and I'm like you never really never really you never really thought of it honestly if it was there I've forgotten about it many years I can't remember ever even thinking about that at all no and I usually hold a grudge.

Like, I remember everything. So it must not have affected me. Plus, at that time, dude, we were all fucking nervous. We were nervous. I mean, this was a TV thing. Seinfeld was helping to get it done. It was going on the air. People didn't give us shows with the way we talked or with Keith and Geraldo and Bob.

Just what we were doing. We knew this is going to help us just what we were doing we knew like this is gonna help us and we were all a little nervous I think that's that's absolutely true I forgot Jerry was behind you know because of calling Colin's relationship with Jerry and we did the first one a lot of people don't realize on live tv on NBC that's right yes on the SNL stage that was I did two of those three. There was three originals called the Colin Quinn show. And it was called the town square. I think where it was like, we were all sitting on steps and one of the, were you in every one? I was in two of the three. And

I remember the episode I would Rosie O'Donnell had just come out and she was on the panel and Colin wanted to do something. And Rosie's like, I just fucking came out of the closet I can't do that like yeah it was like it was a weird thing he wanted her to do yeah and she was holding up the beginning of the show and I was yes bad mouthing her out loud of course I didn't give a fuck I already thought you I already thought we were like money in the bank oh we're on tv now yeah now. Yeah, we shot, well, I said the pilot, but yes, we went out on a cold winter night. Were you with us in Queens? It was freezing.

Colin with just a camera. This was like the first attempt at what he was going to turn into Tough Crowd. We went to a place in Queens. I was living in Astoria. What do you call it? I don't know. Every street has Arabs on it in Queens. But we went into Astoria. What do you call it? I don't know. Every street has Arabs on

it in Queens. But we went into an all Arab cafe. Were you with us on that one? No, I don't think so. And we were shooting in there. And this is soon after 9-11. So we're in there. And it's an Arab guy. He told us to come in. And this Arab guy's playing cards and shit. And we're interviewing. Colin's asking all the right questions. And then Colin sees a door and starts to go. And they go, no, no, no, no. And they wouldn't let us go downstairs. Oh.

To this day, we don't know what the fuck was going on down there. It was probably Mohammed Atta's pilot license. That's what we were thinking. Of course. We're like, oh, my God, do they have an infidel they're torturing down there? And it was about 11 degrees out, and I'm trying to be funny under the subway. You know, the noises. And that turned into, God bless Colin Quinn, because Colin sat there and watched me, Jimmy, Bobby Kelly. Remind me to get to Bobby Kelly.

One sec. Patrice. Patrice. Greg Giraldo. Sure. Sitting at that table, exchanging verbal blows, which was just,

that was more fun than for me than doing actual. I got down there early to sit with Manny and talk politics. And then all your buddies come in who you like. And it was a free for all, of course, naturally. And Colin Quinn sitting back there like he does. He, he, he he he he just he he loves anything race related well you know i said he was a comedian slash sociologist when

you say slash psychologist yeah because he pulls out references black guys love colin because he'll pull out references that like they don't think a white guy should know and colin is i remember he said one thing he said something about yes like the day room at rikers and i think it was patrice that said no white guy knows what the day room at rikers he's always got he's always got the reference and the fun part of that was just everybody kind of beating up on each other and i told keith keith is the only guy whose laugh makes people feel worse like when he laughs when you're walking it's just a toxicity and uh yeah that i think that was just such a great time man and i i never ever found anything that was as fun to do as just hanging at the cellar oh my god that was uh i

did it for too many years actually yeah i remember randy credico who's this comedian you guys don't know a real left winger and uh into politics i mean he would go to el salvador to you know pick it but i remember him saying to me and he was right after about 15 years he saw me on the side where he goes man you guys sit at the table wasting your fucking and i'm like yeah it's the only thing that brings me joy but then i look back I go, he kind of had a point. I feel like we stayed there. But the club's right downstairs. And Jimmy. I'm still there.

I know. I'm still there. And there's the difference between you and I. I'm talking to the great Jimmy Norton, by the way, of the Jim and Sam show and the UFC Unfiltered podcast. Yeah, here's where that was going to be my next question. I was never one of those guys. I don't know if you are or not. I know you've got a great work ethic. But there's some, most of the people I know have to be on stage every night.

And even when I was kind of going good, things are going good for me. Well, I guess it has little to do with me being a fucking idiot after the first season of Tough Crowd and moving 40 miles north to Westchester that didn't help make me want to get on stage every night it's 11 degrees I got to drive fucking uh you know in the snow an hour 15 minutes but Jimmy like I said before Jim Jim rat there same with a tell I'd look at the schedule every night and, and I was just not one of those guys. I didn't need, I was doing enough to get my work done. But said, did you, do you feel you like you need that to,

to be on stage? People admit they do. You and I write differently. You're, you're writing like you, you, you, you, you,

you still have more new shit than most people do. No matter how often you go on. I still, every time I see a clip, there's always something new. There's always a new joke or a bunch of new jokes about the topic of the day. Like, you're more prolific than most guys, and I write on stage, so I'm not good at sitting down and writing.

Colin is really good at that. I don't sit down and write. Oh, you don't? You do it on stage. No, I have to do it on stage. That's what I'm saying. I have no discipline. And to be honest, when we first started and you sat down and put pen to paper, those were some of my best bits. I've got to be honest.

And I just didn't have the discipline. But I do work in the moment. That's where some of the shit comes to me that, you know, you'll be on stage and it's like God showed the bolt of lightning. You're like, where did I come up? And it's way funnier than anything I could think of if I sat and deliberately try to fill in a punch, I guess. At least that's how I rationalize my laziness. Yeah, me too. I'm like, no, Jim, you like to create on stage.

I'm like, no, fat tits, you just don't like to write stuff down. But I look at Colin. He's always got papers with him. Like, it's still to this day. I saw him last night. It's still paper. I'm like, if he's writing it down and doing a new hour every year on something socially uh relevant yeah i mean there's obviously it works um you know i wish i had that discipline too yeah but i looked at the

papers that we carried around for a few years and it's all doodling and shit there's no jokes nothing drawing oh it's just meandering old man nonsense picture of a fucking nursing home with a tree behind it um yeah no he colin's in a whole different that mind never stops mine is mine let me tell you something jimmy you say i still have a new shit if there was no instagram and no social media and i didn't know other kind believe me i'd still be doing the same fucking hour i had hey boys and girls head over to nicktip.com to get exclusive hats t-shirts hoodies and more which yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time

you can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the nicker shirts just go to nickdip.com and click on store again that's nickdip.com click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Did you find this true, Jimmy? I don't know how your memory is, but you and I put out albums and specials and shit. And years ago, I could go back to the album before, as I was working on the next hour.

You can't come out and do a new hour right after you put an old hour to bed. You still got to go back, dip into your old shit. you can't come out and do a new hour right after you put an old hour to bed you still got to go back dip into your old shit i can't even do that anymore because i can't remember what was on the last album the one before can you do you it forces you to write it's sort of a uh good thing and a bad thing whenever i shoot something i'll typically shoot it but now it's different because i haven't shot anything and put it out online where it's just it's up immediately usually you'd shoot something and you'd have like a three months four months before it came out so I'd go into the cellars and start working and I would try to have

like 25 new minutes before I went out on the road you mix that with some crowd work and 15 old minutes and there you go you can you can build that's right um but now it's different because you you shoot something you put it up and it's just there so I don't know how I'm going to do it this time but uh yeah I know I can't remember anything dude i don't remember any of my old stuff i fucking do it i listen to it when i'm editing and then i'm finished with it forever yeah i i steven crowder can recite like all my friggin out first of all like i said he's got that mind um and he he was bringing up jokes that i'm going oh my god i was pretty funny back then i gotta get yeah i gotta get back i don't know you know whatever um he was doing stand-up at one point

crowd i don't know if he still does it but i used to see him at the comedy cellar he would come down and hang out so like he's kind of had his his energy has been into comedy for many many years like he loves it and i think he has done stand-up oh he has yeah and he does he did he did a new hour not recent uh not too long ago wasn't really like put it out there in a spell he just show he's one of those guys can you know uh show up and four or five thousand people are going to come out i i would i mean i would be a gym rat if i had that kind of following i would yeah i would be going yeah you know road work sucks but i'll bite the bullet for that kind of dough. And I'm hoping to, you know, siphon a little off Stephen, actually. But, yeah, he, and like I said, as far as impressions and shit,

he'll slip into Trump or anybody. People that people don't usually know. A Dane Cook. And he's even funnier when he's doing a character. I didn't know he did that. Oh, my God, dude. I go, what the fuck? Because I had known him for years.

And I go, why are you hiding this shit? Don't worry about what other people think. Look at Danny. I go, look at Danny Gantz. And he goes, well, he's dead. I go, I know. Look at him. Bad example.

But still, when he was alive people hate him he made a lot of money yeah but that that is something that by the way that shows you that he has like a comedian's mind because that's how comics think we worry like ah the other guys are gonna go but the reality is fuck the other guys i'm not paying your bills you you know he's bigger than most comics he's got more followings than most whatever makes you funny just do it and enjoy it yeah um yeah it was a blessing for me for him he uh you know i knew he was a fan and i had done it not to make this about me but i had done a show years ago his old version of his podcast i call in i the first time he had me on he loves

to bring this up because it makes me look like a pussy i i check i see an ad online for me being on his show and it's a picture of me and they're having the guy on who drew muhammad that got in trouble remember they were trying to kill the they got a fatwa out on the sky yes i go what are you doing he's got my face next to this guy he goes oh what are you what are you a pussy i go hey i go hey stupid you're sitting behind a desk in a studio. I'm out on the road. I'll be in Dearborn, Michigan next month. Yeah. I'm a little fucking nervous. Jesus Christ.

And he brings that up every time we're together. And anyways, enough of his success. Enough of his success. Are you at the Fat Black Pussy? Somebody said to me, this guy I know who loves comedy, I think he put it in an email to me. I met him at Caroline's years ago, and he said, Jimmy has a residency at the Fat Black Pussy.

Do you do something once a week there? Every Wednesday. Tomorrow, actually, next week I'll be doing it again. I did it last week. Every Wednesday I do it. I could have just said yes. I don't know why I'm going through Wednesdays. Yes, I do it every Wednesday, but Keith does Mondays or Tuesdays.

Colin does Mondays. Different nights they give out the hour if you want to do it. Yeah, I did. The fat black is the one with the little balcony up on the. Yes, but remember it used to all be like casual tables and chairs. I heard they changed. It's not like that anymore? No,

it's like a comedy club seating. Like they used to be like casual couches and all this shit to stretch out. And now it's just like the cellar, like little tables and chairs. They pack them in there. It's a hundred, 120 people. It's great, man.

It's a great place to work out. I did it. He, uh, Noam gave me like every Wednesday for about, uh, about six months. And I think I came in and said,

I don't want to do this anymore. Um, fucking lazy. Uh, it, Wednesday for about six months. I think I came in and said, I don't want to do this anymore. Fucking lazy. Do you like it better now? I like the casual bohemian with the lamps, but some people got too comfortable, right? In the audience? Yeah. I find the shows

are better now because they're more in a comedy club vibe. They don't feel like they're in a lounge. They feel like they're in a comedy club. And then right next door, you have the bar, which has been, which does comedy now. The cellar's their fourth room.

Obviously, you have the VU downstairs around the corner at McDougal. They just bought that fucking McDonald's on fourth and sixth. It's crazy. The worst McDonald's in the country,

and they're going to make it a comedy club. It was already funny enough the way it was. What kind of, he bought the McDonald's. Yeah, and he's calling it, it's going to be after Manny. It's the Menachem Dwarman Theater. Hopefully another year, year and a half it'll open.

I have not seen how they're doing it there, but George is designing it, and they're trying to get the ceilings the right height, because they like nice low ceilings in the cellar. What a tribute to your dad to fucking buy a theater. They used to have fucking shamrock shakes being made. low ceilings in the cellar. What a tribute to your dad to fucking buy a theater that, you know, used to have fucking shamrock shakes being made.

What a tribute to a comedy hero. Hey, Dad, you know that salad bar you had your eye on at Arby's? I bought a plaque and put your name on it. Filet-O- Frish Fridays, 50%. Oh my God, that's hilarious.

Manny Dwarman, it was the guy that we talk about on the show all the time, that he's the founder of the comedy cellar. And when he passed away, I always have to tell this because I got a good zinger in. I don't think anybody laughed at the time. You were at his funeral like everybody else, right? No,

me and Colin were in Iraq. Because Jews do very quick turnaround. We were in Iraq when he died, and we found out, and I think we might have been in Kuwait going into Iraq, but we missed it because we were overseas. By the way, they weren't over there doing comedy. They were in a foxhole. Yeah, we were entertaining the Republican guard.

My producer's laughing because he did a couplehole. Yeah, we were. Yeah, we were entertaining the Republican guard. My producer's laughing because he did a couple tours of Afghanistan, Iraq, and he appreciates that fucking... Oh, yeah.

We were there in 2000. That was... Manny died in... It was between Christmas and New Year, I believe, of 03. Yes. And I have two

quick stories about, you know, how close I was to him and felt comfortable to say this. The first, when they found out he had a brain tumor, we found out he was going to die soon. And he's in the hospital. It's like the first week he's in a hospital. And I call SD Answers and I go, is he awake? And he goes, yeah, sure. SD gives him the phone and I go, who are you going to give the Lexus to?

And this is why I loved him. I had no qualms. Anybody else, I don't think I would have said that. He fucking belly laughed. And then SD said he was giving the finger to me. I couldn't see it. No, he fucking belly laughed. And the other one was when we went to his funeral,

the casket's there in the hole. And when you're Jewish, when somebody dies Jewish, you shovel dirt onto the casket. But you have to have the shovel upside down. So it was my turn. As I'm doing it, I go, I thought he was Jewish, not Polish. I think two people snicked it. I thought it was gonna kill even that's fine that's solemn I remember I saw him I remember I went to the hospital and saw him and do you remember you remember hood who would do stand-up he was he was uh um I'm not sure where he was from he was

Middle Eastern Iranian he would go on staring and he looked Iranian so he would talk on stage and he would like open his shirt and he had a fake a bunch of like dynamites strapped to his chest it was he was doing a right after 9-11 it was fucking hilarious yeah really great balls and him and Manny would always debate Middle Eastern politics they would always debate Israel and Palestine and all this stuff and hood was very liberal and Manny was very conservative but they had a friendship I mean they would debates were very fierce and they would get very and i remember hood uh we you know man he had brain cancer and when hood walked into the hospital say hello man

he said i always wish this would have happened to you that's how goddamn funny he was at 72 and by the way he had a brain tumor when he said that that's how quick yeah he was at 72. And by the way, he had a brain tumor when he said that. That's how quick he was. He was giving me a ride home, and I've told this story on the show many times. He was giving me a ride home to Queens. That's how much we enjoyed each other's company. And so we're in the Lexus. It's like fucking 1130 midnight going up 6th Avenue, whatever the fuck.

And every time he would, I'm on the passenger side, and every time he would talk to me, he'd go like this. He would turn the wheel, and we would drift into another lane. And he did it. Sure enough, this cab driver leans on the fucking horn. Manny doesn't even know. He's like snickering. We pull up to a red light.

The cab driver pulls up on Manny's side, puts his window down, and he looks like the poster boy for terrorism. You couldn't yeah those black bible eyes and he's fucking cursing manny out and marnie man he puts his window down and goes fuck you you jew the guy the guy went shit the guy went nuts he went fucking nuts it was the fun and he and he looks at me man he puts his window up with a big, that shit-eating grin. I go, you are a bit of a genius.

He was a funny fucking person, man. I was so sad. I, my dad, I always say this, this doesn't bode well

from what it says about, my dad died a couple years ago. I knew, because he had Alzheimer's for years. So I didn't really shed a tear because I knew it was coming. But with because he had Alzheimer's for years. So I didn't really shed a tear

because I knew it was coming. Sure. But with Manny, it was so sudden. Remember they had that ceremony, unless you were in Iraq fighting, I can't remember. They had a ceremony at the cellar with all the comedians

and they were showing Manny on the screen. He was a musician. He was famous in the 60s. And I started, I was drunk and I started bawling my eyes off. Pete, Pete, what's his name from Long Island?

Sebastian Menescalco's friend, Pete. Oh, Pete, oh my. Look at you and I. If you didn't say his name, I'm picturing his face, I'm picturing,

we're getting really all haughty, Sebastian. It's not Pete Davidson, obviously it's not Pete Pappalaro, he's my agent. Oh my. very Italian name I know Pete Correale

and he fucking looked at me like I was crazy because I was like bawling my fucking eyes out just for a minute but it all fucking hit me that I was never going to see this guy again oh yeah right it was terrible I was very sad he was the one guy who could shut

a table full of comedians up and it wasn't because he was the club owner but he was like really genuinely funny and interesting to listen to and when he would just lean over he would always lean over like this and he would always hold his glasses and they would always be fucking filthy and i'm like you ever wash your glasses you had Vaseline fingerprints on his glasses. And he was just so, he would always have that loose-fitting sports coat on. And he just had that thing where he was that interesting and bright. And, you know,

because comedians don't react to other club owners the same way. But people just genuinely loved listening to this guy. He, well, he was so full of wisdom and he taught over in Israel and he was self-deprecating. And I said to him again, it would always go to the Israeli Jew thing. I go, Manny, why do so many people, and I wasn't being sarcastic.

It was a sincere question. Why do so many people around the world hate Jews so much? He leans into me and goes, I don't know, but six billion people can't be wrong. What the fuck? guitar solo Bye.