The Nick DiPaolo Show - Joe Biden will NOT be the Nominee | Nick DiPaolo Show #387

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

More Biden bumbling. Trump numbers up in swing states. Minneapolis under fire. Thank you Martin K. from Kansas City for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! Link to knockout video mentioned in show: https://twitter.com/AndrewNeill91/status/1289582695597539329?s=20 FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, Nick DiPaolo here. As you know, my show exists because of viewer support. We need your support. And Patreon is a great way to support this show. If you become a Patreon member, you're a monthly subscriber, you will get an encore presentation story that nobody else gets. You will get to ask me a question during the show. You will have access to all the previous shows. a question during the show, you will have access to all the previous shows. You also could get a Nick DiPaolo mug or a signed CD, depending on what level you sign up at. Your support is really necessary. So subscribe today so you can hear your name mentioned on the show tomorrow when I read out people who have made donations.

It's more important now than ever. And I thank you for your time. And we'll see you down the road. guitar solo Oh, yeah. It's that time again, folks. The Nick DiPaolo Podcast is on Monday, August 3rd, Georgia. One o'clock here right now in the afternoon, 111 degrees No, it's not bad because we have a hurricane coming or some shit

I'm watching the TV and they're telling people get to higher ground, don't drive through puddles, Jesus fucking what are we, three? Mind your fucking business We don't have to worry. I live on the river down here in Savannah.

The river is 40 feet below, like, fucking ground level. It could rise 40 feet and there'd be no flooding. Cut to me floating in a lawn chair up Washington Avenue. Famous last words. Nothing's got a tree branch. Hey, on tomorrow's show, I'll be airing the interview I did with Steve Schirrippa. You know him

from Blue Bloods and mostly The Sopranos. Bobby Buculari. We couldn't air it the day I did it because there was so much crazy news going on. So we're going to do that tomorrow. Thanks to those of you who chat live during the premiere at 5 o'clock. As you know,

YouTube is fucking with me. So we really appreciate those. All income is appreciated. And we appreciate the super chats. This one's from TheRealBambunga. Isn't that Obama's stepbrother? From TheRealBambunga, Biden can't do a live debate. He's been dead for over 30 years.

You are correct, sir. I'm glad you mentioned that. We'll be opening with that. We always open when Biden makes news. Here's some tour dates if you haven't heard in three fucking seconds. Barring, you know, famine, locusts, fucking world's coming to an end. I don't give a rat's ass. September 17th through 19th, the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Vegas.

October 2nd, Jonathan's at Gunkwit, Maine. October 10th, Stand Up Live, Huntsville, Alabama. October 11th, the next night, Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville. And then November 19th, the Imp improv, Raleigh, North Carolina. Haven't been to Huntsville, and I haven't done Raleigh, I don't think, in forever, if I ever did it. So come on out. See me live. Excuse me.

Made fish pie last night. Very English. Sounds gross, but it was fucking delicious. And then at 12.30 last night, I'm making a, I'm putting a cake in the oven. A pear cake. Fucking, I'm gay as they come. Had a slice this morning.

Weighed 11 pounds. Fuck. Let's get right to it, everybody. That was a good super chat. I've been saying, Biden, you're parroting what I've been saying. Who's been saying Biden's not going to be the nominee for the last how many months? Who? Me, that's who. Who the fuck set this whole thing up? Me, that's who. I've been telling you that and I still believe it. Why do I still believe it? Well, he tried to speak

about three, four days ago. Once again, had no idea where he was, tried to cover it up saying it was a joke. I couldn't even get mad at him. I actually felt bad for him because maybe because I'm familiar with what my dad just went through for the last seven years. And it's almost sad that they're pushing him out there. It's almost like he's acting. But he's not. He's really losing it. Here he is, I don't know, three, four days ago, trying to make a little mini speech.

Go ahead, Russ. Welcome to Kingswood Community Center. Actually, that's the one down I used to work. It was a joke. You didn't know where we were anyway. It's great to be here. And back in a place where, you know... What are we doing?

What's going on right now? Joe, where are you? He tries to cover it up. That was a joke. I think I shit my pants. That wasn't a joke. Anybody? Wow.

Folks, this is the nominee for the Democratic Party. I've been saying it won't be, and I'm still saying it. Whoever he chooses on that ticket, you know how important that is? Because they're going to be the president if the Dems win. De facto, by de facto. Whoever that is. Can you imagine Susan Rice or Kamala Harris or fucking Duckworth, some real America haters? They're going to be running the goddamn show. This guy, he can't hide it, man. What was that, 10 seconds and he fucked up.

It's fucking, they're wheeling him out there. Really? Mitt Romney must be home just breaking mirrors and windows and shit going how the fuck am I not president and to confirm that what I've been saying for the last 10 months Dan

Bongino he's a Fox News contributor former cop and he was an intelligence officer he tweeted not a joke and not hyperbole. I'm hearing from people close to the situation that Biden's cognitive decline is rapidly worsening

and is becoming increasingly difficult to mask. No pun intended. The Democrats are going to have to make a decision soon. I've been saying it forever. I wish more people, I should get more credit. I'm right on the big shit. Remember, I was doing Glenn Beck and I still love Glenn Beck. I wasn't probably right for his crowd.

Very conservative. They don't like the word cunt. I don't trust anybody that like the word cunt. I'm guessing that's what it was. But I told, remember, I was on, doing an interview with him when he brought up the COVID thing. And I said, I don't know if Trump's going to get blamed. He goes, what are you, nuts?

Him and his side, of course he's going to get blamed. What country do you live in? That's what he said. And I said, well, I think the American people can see through it. And again, I still might be wrong, but there's some signs that I might be right. God, I hope I am. wrong, but there's some signs that I might be right. God, I hope I am. Supporters, the Democratic strategists and supporters of VP Joe Biden urging him not to debate President Trump in the lead up But listen to their reason for it. Citing Trump's publicity stunts and disregard for the rules in 2016.

What was that, winning as a novice? As a guy who has never been a politician and beaten all you career politicians like a rented mule? Was that the fucking novel thing you're talking about? Meanwhile, Biden's backers, including some conservatives, applauded the University of Notre Dame and the University of Michigan for canceling their scheduled debates over COVID-19 concerns. That's faggot stuff. It is.

You want a court by its name, that's strictly for fags. That's exactly, who's it for? Do you understand they have to keep this COVID thing alive, folks? Somebody wrote a great article. I'll get to it. I should be right after this one, but I didn't. But like 10 points of why this COVID thing's benefiting them. You all know it anyways, but they have to keep it alive.

Anyways, this is Joe Lockhart. He used to work for the Clintons, saying why that Biden shouldn't debate Trump. Joe Lockhart. Joe, if the president is watching this right now, I could see him rubbing his hands together and saying, oh my God, that would be perfect. Because then I, of course, get to say,

he's afraid to get on the stage with me. It has to do with his cognitive abilities. I suck cock and I love it. Yeah, well, I mean, we'll show that. And I think, as I wrote in the article, it's worth the risk. You know, he's this is a president who, as I said in the article, is incapable of telling the truth. He spills these conspiracy theories out there. Conspiracy theories, yeah.

Up till now, most of those theories are broadcast by Fox News. Pause! Pause. As opposed to what? Excuse me. Big fucking seven pound lung oyster. You know, Fox News, the highest rated news fucking thing because it's the most it's the most trusted. I hate you, CNN.

You fucking you jerk off with a lighthouse behind you. Notice the light is off in the lighthouse. Fucking go ahead. Let this jerk his twitter feed and you know most americans don't see that the debates are very different this is the one thing you know now that we're not really going to have conventions where the public will tune in you know uh you know 50 60 million people and they will they will see all of this nonsense from him. He will take the truth and destroy it. And Biden will be in the position of correcting him over and over. He'll be in the position of facing the wrong way with his back to the audience as urine drips down his fucking leg from his bag.

You fucking idiot. Oh, yeah. Fox News, as opposed to the network you're on right now that nobody argues. There's even very liberal people in Hollywood that say it's a propaganda thing for the... How fucking dare you? That's why he shouldn't debate Trump, because Trump's gonna

lie. It's not because he's wearing an adult diaper, Joe? Go ahead. Over again. Ah, fucking enough of you, you chicken shit. Ah, just yanked the muscle. Old. The Trump campaign

has pushed the other way. It urges a nonpartisan commission on presidential debates, which officially oversees events to hold even more debates. This is what I'm saying about COVID. They're using it as an excuse not to do debates. They don't want Trump doing those giant rallies. This is all good for them. The liberal cities, right?

They're not going to let people go back to work, keep the economy in the dumper. They need the COVID thing. And there's about eight other reasons I'll tell you about that I read that are great points. We saw in the debates in 2016, Hillary Clinton showed a mastery of the issues. She did? I saw Trump stalking her during the debates. He was behind her, scaring the shit out of her.

Big, thick-ankled, dog-faced whore. Clinton showed a mastery of the issues. Every point she made was more honest and bested by Trump, Lockhart, Tulsi. You're out there pushing that Hillary Clinton is an honest person. You fucking... Oh, my God. Does the Mueller report ring a bell? Her server?

Any of that shit? No, Joe. Trump came out of debates doing better, I think, because he just kept repeating the same old lies. What a big chicken shit this guy is. giving him that national forum to continue to spout, get him to 21 or 22,000 lies, I think just isn't worth it for the Democrats or for Biden. That's the only reason Trump won, because he was lying. This is coming from somebody who worked for Clinton. I did not eat that fat broad's pussy. Several opinion columns published in recent months have called

for an outright cancellation of the debates describing alongside the party conventions as outdated political rituals designed purely for TV ratings they said. Oh so I get it. You have a candidate. Your nominee is literally senile. Everybody agrees, not fit to run a lemonade stand. So this year you're against the debates. They're just for ratings and shit. Did you say that when Hillary was running? No, you didn't. Suck a bag of cheese, you fuckstain. fuck stain long-time democratic strategist and former hillary clinton senior advisor zach pen kander pet connect zach pet kennis agreed with calls for biden to back out of any and all debates with trump in the coming as it stands currently there are three presidential debates and one vice president debate scheduled between sept 20 september 29th and October 22nd. He says Biden shouldn't feel obligated to throw Trump a lifeline by granting him any debates at all.

Since when does the nominee decide? Is that how it works? Isn't it the president? The current administration? I could be wrong about that. This is not a normal presidential about that this is not a normal presidential election and trump is not a legitimate candidate what the boy do you guys sound desperate not a legitimate candidate check out how he's doing in the swing states

i got it from a source that and i'm notitting you, I made a friend over the weekend through a friend who worked on Trump's transition team. He's a very powerful lawyer. And he's thinking about doing a podcast with me for one day a week. And he told my accountant, their best buddies, that Trump's doing way better than people realize. I could be wrong. Imagine throwing throwing Trump a lifeline. How the fuck is that?

Speculation over the cancellation of Biden versus Trump 2020 presidential debates increased last week after the University of Notre Dame withdrew its campus as a host for the September 29th event over coronavirus concerns. Like you can't do debates in an empty hall with just the two guys on stage? There's no corona fucking. At this point, if Joe got corona, it would be doing him a favor. Fucking kill the poor prick. Put him out of his misery. University of Michigan withdrew from hosting a presidential debate on its campus in June.

Again, it's which has since been rescheduled at the Adrian Arsh Center in Miami. Yeah. Got rescheduled. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.

I promise you. Not this time. First, real quick before I end this. First presidential debate is now set to take place at Case Western Reserve University. You know, they beat Miami in 1988, the Orange Bowl. And the Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland on September 29th. The second presidential debate scheduled for the Arsht Center on October 15th.

And the third and final debate is set to take place on October 22nd on the campus of Belmont University in Nashville. So I guess we know three that are going to happen. And they're saying that Joe shouldn't do anymore or whatever. He won't be there. Will you listen to me? He won't be there.

He's actually, you gotta, I'm telling you, he's going to be given a speech for the next few weeks and pee. You're going to see urine like a wet spot as he's talking, getting bigger and bigger. And they're going to go get them off. And a big,

and a black guy's going to come out with a broom. Like Evening at the Apollo, or whatever the fuck it was called. Like the guy that chased me off when I did it. Rez, did I tell you I did that? What was it called? Evening at the Apollo? Something at the Apollo.

Whatever. I did it when Sinbad was hosting. Picture me going in front of an all-black audience. Somewhere that footage exists. I'm hoping they hide it like the Kennedys, hasn't they? I got 30 seconds into it. I came out and I went like this. I went, Jesus Christ, I feel whiter than Debbie Boone. Dead silence. There's about 600 black people looking at me. Anyways, then I did a ZZ Top joke. I'm sure they're big on ZZ.

And then I see this black woman, older. I go, oh no, she stands up. I can still see her giant arms. She starts doing this. And then all the other people's, and all of a sudden, the siren goes off and a guy comes out. I should have grabbed the broom and fucking beat him.

The Sandman chased me off. I exit left, Sinbad's there like in a parakeet yellow suit. So I'm walking towards him. I get right up and he goes, I don't know what happened, man. That's all he said to me. I went out down the stairs. Honestly, God, I waved a cab. I was in a cab not two minutes

after they booed me off this day. Black people all hating and shit. That's pretty cool, though. So you rubbed like the tree, the stone on the way in and everything? Fuck not. I wasn't going to touch that thing all them black germs on it.

That stump? I don't think I did, Raz. I can't remember. Couldn't rub it today with all that COVID. The guy said, wouldn't you rub the stone? I go, I'm not going to get sick

or self or fucking. These are jokes, folks. Anyways. Oh, guess who come out of the woodwork? Still angry. Still hasn't taken a dump since 1968. Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders.

I don't remember. Healthcare. Healthcare. And billionaires are sick and tired. The people are sick and tired. I live in Vermont. I like lesbians, Subarus, covered bridges. Everybody should get a covered bridge.

Donald Trump is racist. He's sexist. He's homophobic. And somebody put a bullet in his eye. I didn't say who. Here's Bernie Sanders giving his opinion of Donald Trump. Donald Trump wants to postpone the election. Sorry, Mr. President, it ain't gonna happen. I know you're not familiar with the Constitution.

But the Constitution is pretty clear on these matters. There will be an election on November 3rd, 2020. And guess what? You're gonna lose. And you're gonna lose because the American people are sick and tired of your authoritarianism, your belief that you are above the law, they're sick and tired of your lying, your racism,

your sexism, and a whole lot of other things. So Mr. President, the election will take place. It will take place. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I won't be there to see it. I'll be playing bingo with Joe Biden at the Maple Street Nursing Home in Pennsylvania.

Right now, I'm out in the woods making this video because I can't find my way back. Love this guy. Angry still. I don't believe you did not pick me. You got Biden. He's in an adult diaper. People are sick and tired of him shitting his pants. That man's name was Mo Green. I'm a Jew living on a pension in Vermont. Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of the Nick DiPaolo podcast,

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I'm making pizza for myself. And anyways, that's immunologic dot com. We thank them for sponsoring the show today. Let's stay on Donald Trump. CNN, CNN, no friend to Trump, as you know, CNN piece on what critical swing voters are thinking now. And it's dynamite. This must be from Breitbart or something. Who'd say it's dynamite right in the fucking. It's this is a positive story.

Again, I'll repeat on CNN. It's not likely to find anything on cnn that's favorable or even even handed when it comes to uh donald trump ain't that the truth this is cnn the most trusted name in news uh that's one reason when it happens it's noteworthy uh so listen to what rich thou i'll read it there was no clip a focus group moderator the moderation of the swing voter project has to say he says he's hearing strong support for trump from critical swing voters that could turn the election and this is again from cnn and each month for the past 17 months he says i've had a unique window into the americans largely responsible for giving the president

his slim electoral college victory, so-called Obama-Trump swing voters across the upper Midwest. Our swing voter project has uncovered that many of these people who live in places such as Canton, Ohio, Davenport, Iowa, Erie, Pennsylvania, Macomb County, Michigan, prefer Trump over biden in fact 22 of 33 respondents in these four most recent locations feel this way so that's good oh look at that fucking hairdo. Will you please? Jesus Christ. What's he do?

Put like Bibles on his head to practice his balance like a supermodel? Not only are they overwhelming with Trump at this point, upon reflection, these voters who voted for Obama and Trump would now vote for Trump over Obama in a hypothetical matchup, according to Thao. While he notes it's possible they still change as we move ahead, he explains why most are still supporting Trump. And they're good reasons. They think a businessman is best suited to turn the country around economically, of course, because we're in the biggest hole ever.

Who's going to do it, Biden? Or anybody on the left who would rather have socialism? They feel COVID-19 was not Trump's fault. What did I say to Glenn Beck? These are swing voters. They don't feel it's his fault. Of course it's not his fault whether it was a democrat in the white house or republican when this shit hit it's unprecedented

they feel covet 19 wasn't trump's fault and he's doing the best he can do to contain it they conflate the black lives matter protesters with the rioters attacking the federal buildings and retail shops they don't want historic monuments torn down and they dismiss defunding the police as ridiculous i gotta believe not just the midwest a lot of people feel that way don't you in other words as the guy says i previously wrote americans are seeing the violence and putting the blame squarely on the left. That's not helpful to Biden. And these voters are feeling it, too. These voters tell me they want America finally to be put first.

They oppose immigration and trade policies and stuff like that. You know, they're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. He's talking about the Democrats. And they want a non-politician who relentlessly fights back after witnessing too many office holders

fold in the face of special interest. These voters may sound like typical Fox News watchers, but significantly, the overwhelming majority are not. Many are instead people who get their news disproportionately from local television, regional websites, and Facebook. Compared to the kinds of people who seek out our news from national cable channels, many swing voters reside in a national politics desert.

According to Thao, most of them can't name anything that Biden has achieved in his 50 years of politics. Ain't that the truth? Worse, the former vice president several times. Worse, the fucking these articles are fucking horribly written worse for the former vice president several told me biden would be a puppet of others if he were elected that's because many are convinced he has dementia and they mocked him after seeing videos of his misstatements online how can you argue with that? You fucking idiot. Anyways.

They say they don't like Trump's tweeting, but they can tolerate it. You know. As opposed to the alternative. That's from CNN, folks. That's the big story there. That came from CNN. They couldn't even hide it. You know. Trump's's gonna get back out there

pack them in nobody gives a fuck put on a mask even though it's all bullshit it really is it's all horseshit I got a doctor from Florida who told me I was on the phone with my buddy Louis CK for an hour and a half talking about it

we have nice civil discussions then I go your mother's red tits on the phone with my buddy Louis CK for an hour and a half talking about it. We have nice civil discussions. Then I go, your mother's red tits. And he laughs and he goes, fuck you, you greasy whore. Patreon question. Michael K., Kansas City. Nick, in one of your stand-up acts, you said one of the porn titles in a city hotel you stayed in was

Searching for Bobby's fissure. That's the best one ever. One of my favorites is Dick Tracy. Do you have some others you like? Thank you for the laughs, buddy. Can we stick to something relevant? Actually, Mike, I don't know if I can remember anymore, but, you know, Romancing the Bone. That was a fucking movie back in the 80s.

And I don't know. There's some great ones. But nothing is going to top Searching for Bobby's Fissure. That is the most fucking brilliant thing I've ever heard. Rambone. A bunch of shitty ones. I don't watch porn, you know, in hotels, on TVs, that's kind of ancient.

I watch it on my Apple Watch. I'm yanking it right at Starbucks. Do you have the time, sir? I have to squeeze you the cum off my hand. Yeah, time for me to get a towel. Let's take a, this is what we, as Monty Python would say, and now for something completely different. Dunkin' Donuts, you faggot fucking cheap scumbag fucking company.

Go back to the Styrofoam cups, you fucking faggots. Look at this shit. The lid is on securely. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to drink this anymore! Every time I get a coffee, and I want to go off on whoever gave me the coffee, but the lid is on. Look, the lid's on squarely, right? Look. Look, look, look. What the fuck is this?

It's all over me! Look! Look! It's all over! The lid is on. He's a Canadian, I think. Go back to the styrofoam, you fucking scumbag. Fucking faggots.

I burned myself. I burned my fucking heart. I got to go to the hospital. Look at this. Look, look, look. Your cups are straight trash. Your lids, your cups. Fuck you.

You suck! Every fucking time I get a coffee, this fucking happens. All righty then. Yeah, that's what you need, a cup of coffee, fella. More caffeine. Oh. I was thinking that was a... That's every guy I grew up with in Massachusetts.

What makes me laugh about that clip is he's screaming about something so, you know, innocuous as that. And the world, the country's burning down around us. The world is this close to World War III. But I think that's a Canadian because if we kept playing the clip, he mentions Tim Horton's coffee like eight times. But I love shit like that. You know how people listen to white noise to fall asleep? That's what I listen to. I listen to Bobby Knight speeches

when he's swearing at the fucking team at halftime and choking his players. That's what makes me relaxed. You fucking faggot! What do gay people got to do with a lid on a cup? Here's another guy that's pissed off,

but he had good reason to be. Another black fella who gets it, I think. A black motorist is going viral after flipping out as Black Lives Matter protesters, mostly white, who blocked a Texas highway, getting them to let him through after screaming i gotta go to work i mean just having a black guy yell i gotta go to work that's an i mean that's a piece of again that's the old joke it's they i see they work harder than i do in savannah i'm just saying i had to throw that in there just to piss off any packets who don't like it. Raz is here before I am. He's got two kids, three kids, a couple of kids. I don't know.

Show the clip, Razzy. It's Raz! It's Raz! I got kids. Get the fuck out my way. I'm gonna air this bitch out. Watch they part the ways for him. They let him go. Look at all the white kids. Watch they part the ways for him. They let him go. Look at all the white kids. He said, I'm about to air this bitch out. I'm about to air this bitch out.

Meaning he was going to step on the gas, right? Clean them up. Should have just done that, my brother. He goes, I'm down for the car. I got to get to work. I got bills and kids. Good for him. But what's sad is all those fucking pussies get out of the way.

You know, because it's a black thing. They still think it's about race. It's about overthrowing the government. Hmm. Hmm. it's about overthrowing the government. Anyways, those protests that you saw moments early have been chanting, whose streets? Our streets. Until a black guy comes along in a big SUV.

Other cars were still blocked. You know, the ones with white people in them. As lines of protests were seen reforming and stretching across the highway that's against the law by the way the confrontation came amid rising tensions in austin you can't find the more liberal city a week after the shooting death of armed protester garrett foster after he allegedly confronted a driver while holding an AK-47. We reported on that, remember? Bye-bye, dickhead.

Remember? White kid bragging about his AK, and then a guy came up in a car, and he fucking shot at it four times, they said. And this guy, he's gone. And nothing we can do about it. He's gone. He's gone. Nothing we can do about it. He's gone. He's gone.

Bye-bye. So, so what happened here? Heavily armed members of the right-wing militia groups, where you been, fellas? Including the three percenters and the boogaloo boys.

The boogaloo boys. Are those black right-wingers? That's kind of a racist term. I don't like it. It's offending me, Patreon. And the Boogaloo Boys appeared near Foster's Memorial. They put up a little memorial. You know how I have a whole bit about those memorials on the side of the road, you know?

You always see makeshift memorials. Something about it. Is that the best way my friends can pay tribute to me? Spray paint two old hockey sticks and put a pink balloon on it? It's much funnier than that. I can't remember it. Anyways, Austin Department of Public Safety, that's the DPS, had earlier said it was bringing in extra law enforcement support amid reports of plans to disrupt the Black Lives Matter protest.

Oh, is that right? But they can block the highway, which is illegal. It's against the fucking law. But you're going to bring in extra in case the 3 percenters showed up? DPS supports the right of individuals to lawfully protest. And public safety is our top priority. Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! Shut up! Lawfully protest. Blocking highways is not lawful. It's illegal. Even I know that.

We can't show you this next clip because the guy's naked. So I'm just going to tell you to look it up. It was on Twitter at a, the letter a text T E X Texan, a N five, seven, five, whatever.

You might've seen it. I'll put a link in the description. Yeah. Put a link in the description. Yeah, put a link in the description. It's very funny. There's a fucking white dude, naked as a cum, like walking down a major thoroughfare, fucking up traffic, stands in front of one guy's car,

and this guy gets out. You could tell right away. Go T. Looks like he's about 6'2", 230. He ain't having none of it. Walks up to the guy. They're this close to each other. They exchange words for about, I'd say, 10 seconds. And this

guy throws a right hand that drops this guy like a used condom. He went down like a Kennedy in the kitchen of a California hotel. My brother got knocked out. His ball bag is in the highway. He dropped this fucking guy with the most beautiful right hand you'll ever see.

Picked on the wrong car. Oh, my God. Guy went just like a, just like UFC. Fucking tremendous. Keep your dick in your pants, Kevin. Our sponsor, thedonaldstuff.com, has hilarious T-shirts, hats, mugs, et cetera. Most of them surrounding our commander-in-Chief Donald J. Trump. Well, guess what?

They also have a Nick DiPaolo collection and just added new items and ladies cut versions of everything. Well, let's see what we got here. All right. Hold on now. Look at the neck on this thing. Why has he got my shirt on? Good man. I can't believe you got a black guy to model my shit.

Anyway, lots of great stuff at thedonaldstuff.com. Go there and check out all the gear. When you use the promo code Nick, you get 10% off, not just the Nick DiPaolo show items, but everything on the website. Go to thedonaldstuff.com. Pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat and support these guys. We thank them for sponsoring the show.

We thanked them very much. A man stands in front of my car, nude. I knock him senseless. His cock flies through the air. Lands on the hood of a rap song. Yeah, yeah. Hilton and Chief.

You fellas. Headline, crime skyrocks in Minneapolis as police publish letter offering advice on how to avoid getting robbed and carjacked. Jesus Christ. What the hell's going on out here? Oh, my fucking word. And Raz has relatives in Minneapolis. I can see one of them right there in front of the burning store. It's Raz's stepfather. I don't know.

The letter provides robbery prevention tips residents should heed in light of rising violence. How about you residents going, I'm not paying any taxes to this fucking city. That's what taxes are for. You understand that? To pay for your protection. It's all the government does at any level. That's what they're supposed to do first. The letter addressed the third precinct residents notes that robberies and carjackers have increased in our precinct

and says that personal items of value, such as cell phones, handbags, have been targets of muggers. Muggers have used mace and threats of gun violence to obtain their objective. Some people have allegedly been dragged and assaulted. Okay. Who would have guessed, huh? What do we got here, Raz? Do not walk alone. Be hyper aware of your surroundings at all times.

I'm always hyper aware of my surroundings to a point, like I told you, I'll be at a food court and I can feel somebody talking about my sneakers behind me. My wife calls it paranoia. I call it being a good cop. Carry only items you need and carry less cash. Why does anybody carry cash anymore? I haven't had cash in my wallet in forever. Be prepared to give up your cell phone. Look, the cops are telling you, be prepared to give up your shit. It's over, folks.

It is fucking over. Turn out the lights. The party's over. They say that all good things must end. Have keys already in your hands as you approach your car. They say that all good things must end. Keep voting Democrat. That's a left-wing talking point. Your safety is most important. Yeah, that's why you're sending me a letter saying you're not going to help me. Be a good witness.

When you call 911, be prepared to answer many questions. How many suspects? Age, height, complexion. Oh, okay. Oh, a five foot one Asian woman. I call her, I can't tell because she's Asian. Scars or tattoos.

She's got a chicken and broccoli 3A tattooed on her. Weapon, what did it look like? I don't know. A knife. It felt like a knife. What direction did they leave? Well, she was Asian and she went in circles. Lock your doors while driving.

Don't stop for strangers. Park in well-lit areas. You should be doing this anyways. Always be hyper-aware of your surroundings. Using a tracking device. Never leave anything of value in your car. Never leave your car running unattended. Memorize your license plate.

It helps towards a faster recovery. They're telling you. Raz, you got to get your family out of there. Raz's wife is from up there. Tell her to put her keys in her hands when she's walking so they know she has a car. They'll follow her. Brilliant tip.

In June, the Minneapolis City Council approved a plan to defund the police. Despite this, Minneapolis City Council members have run up a tab of over $63,000 for their own private security. Typical libs. Do as I say, not as I fucking do. $63,000 they ran up, protecting themselves. Buy a gun, looking for a scope for my AK. I feel very stupid. I call a store and they're like, what kind do you want? I go, I don't fucking know.

Who am I, Lee Harvey? I want the one Lee Harvey Oswald used. That seemed to fucking work beautifully. City council allegedly intends to replace police with a community-led model no they're ignorant that's ignorant a community-led model they're now the 19th safest or they used to be or they used to be. Just a month after the Floyd killing,

Minneapolis police received 1,600 reports of gunfire. Minneapolis in 2017 was ranked the 19th safest city in the U.S. Imagine that, defunding the police. Just let that sink in for a second, folks. This is a country of law and order. It's why people come over here and want to live here. Speaking of police, how they get no respect. I don't want to tell you. They don't respect at all.

My wife can't cook. I'll tell you. We pray after we eat. Last summer, the flies pitched in to fix a hole in the screen door. I got a very ugly daughter. She married a very ugly guy. In fact, today they got two ugly kids. In fact, they're all so ugly in the family album, they only keep the negatives.

Greatest jokes of all time. I got mugged in Central Park. I could tell it wasn't a professional job. The knife had butter on it. This morning I get up, I did push-ups in the nude. I didn't see the mousetrap. My doctor told me today, my shrink told me I was crazy. I said, I want a second opinion. He said, okay, you're ugly too. Ew.

A Dunkin' Donuts employee put his picture up. This might as well be antifa here you go a dunkin donuts employee has been arrested after a police officer found a large thick piece of mucus which was later confirmed to be saliva in his coffee the incident occurred at approximately 10 20 p.m on july 30th when an illinois state police district chicago trooper bought a large black coffee from duncan donuts establishment located on archer avenue stay away from that one due to the coffee being extremely hot the trooper took the lid off to let the coffee cool down it was then he noticed the mucus and saliva floating inside the coffee cup the isp immediately began an investigation into the incident which culminated just a couple hours later with the arrest of 25 year old we just saw him dunkin donuts employee vincent sessler

vincent sessler everybody you're a real crum. Sessler was taken into custody without incident, charged with disorderly conduct, battery to a police officer, peace officer, excuse me. ISP officers and employees will now be prohibited from patronizing that Dunkin' Donuts location for their own safety. Sessler currently remains in custody at the Chicago Police Department's 8th District

while the investigation continues. You're a crumb creep. Piece of shit. Hey, folks, I want to thank you guys for contributing to the show at NickDip.com and for the people who sign up to be monthly members at Patreon.com. You're what keeps us going. You know that. dot com. You're what keeps us going. You know that. I know YouTube's

fucking with me right now because we're at 148,000 like on Thursday or Friday. YouTube subscribe. And we've been picking up 1,000 every two days or so. It's still at 148. They're fucking with me. Oh, you're

just paranoid, Nick. Well, these are the people that contributed since last Thursday. Sylvia Ngo. Ngo. No. How do you say NGO? Pennsylvania. William Jones, Wisconsin.

Mark Evanson, Minnesota. Royce Faulkner, Mississippi. Paul Dalton, New York. Gregory Pierce, Arizona. David Joseph, Michigan. John Murphy, New York. Paul Sagone Arizona, David Joseph, Michigan, John Murphy, New York, Paul Sagonella, who's always in there, Connecticut, Joe Fitzpatrick, the United Kingdom, Phil Oliver Holes, Maryland, Joe Bono, Pennsylvania, Michael Carpenter, New York. Robert Curley, New York. Robert Goldberg, Illinois.

Why did you do that, Karen? Florida. Robert Leahy, Texas. Thomas Sandoe, Nevada. Brian Mess, Illinois. Ed Midgley, Rhode Island. Mark Sanders, Florida. Tracy Royer, Pennsylvania. Florida, Tracy Royer, Pennsylvania, Stephen Venditti, California, Mike Bursling, Canada, Tim Stone, Massachusetts. And we had somebody sign up over the weekend at Patreon, a monthly subscriber, Gabe Adhouse. Thank you guys so much for keeping the show alive. And we need it. Excuse me. I'm still shocked that CNN had to report something positive about Trump. I wonder why they did it.

Here's what put a big smile on my face. Hey, white people, are you having fun being bullied on TV and saying you gotta make change? You gotta quit being racist and shit? So fucking hilarious, huh?

It was some NHL player, young kid. I think he was black. First NHL player to take a knee. He wasn't even in uniform. It was like the opening ceremonies. Took a knee. Isn't it enough that the NHL games, they play rap music when there's 18,000 white people in the stadium.

Anyways, a lot of people are getting sick of this shit already. How do I know that headline ratings crash for NBA MLB after protest Phil debuts. I love it. NBA, MLB, after protest-filled debuts. I love it. It appears TV viewers are not interested in what the increasingly woke leagues have to offer. Go back to sleep. You know who's woke?

Guys like me. I've been woke forever, realizing what a con job this race issue is in this country, and it's never going to go away. With both baseball and basketball draped in all sorts of Black Lives Matter and social justice symbolism for their opening games, a substantially small number of fans turned into the rest of the week's games. I fucking love it. fans turned into the rest of the week's games. I fucking love it. Hey, where are the white women at? According to Outkick.com, neither league did well. As for the opening games,

Outkick reported that the return of the NBA on TNT saw the following numbers. Lakers' first clip is 3.4 mil. Then the second game, Pelicans' jazz jazz 2.1 mil espn's major league baseball return numbers were also underwhelming yankees nats 4 million dodges giants 2.8 million outkicks ryan glass beagle added more ratings numbers on twitter he said to be fair since i compared mlb versus versus NBA return night one, here is night two, he wrote. MLB last Friday. Oh, and ESPN. Mets Braves, 922,000. Not even a mil.

Brewers Cubs, 1 million. Angels A's, 797,000. These are CNN numbers. NBA last night, July 31st. Celtics, Bucs, 1.3 million. Mavs, Rockets, 1.7 million. People are tired of it. Goodell, are you still going to stick to your game plan?

I cannot wait to see if the NFL even plays. By the way, the baseball league is going to go away. A couple Cardinals have COVID now. A couple teams haven't played in a week because of COVID. I hope it goes away because the Red Sox got swept by the filthy Yankees last night. Aaron Judge homing it in a six-string game.

Fucking. I hope it's canceled. For good measure, Strauss also pointed out that baseball can't blame the coronavirus. The virus didn't stop people from watching Tom Brady golf with Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson back in May. You know what that got? 6.3 mil.

How's that, NBA? How's that working out? Let's tune into a game that reminds us of how racist we are. What did I want to do next? I got this guy, Jonathan Isaac, explaining, he's a black player, why he stood during the national anthem, like he's obligated to explain his behavior. But here it is.

So you didn't kneel during the anthem but you also didn't wear a black lives matter shirt uh do you believe that black lives matter pause what an insulting question by a little white twat do you believe that black lives no i don't i'm black but i don't think they matter worth the shit i I find them shiftless, lazy, and violent. You fucking idiot. It's like a racist question. Do you think black lives... Listen to the tone. Why are these new journalists,

whether it's the press conference at the White House, why is it like a 24-year-old girl with their gotcha questions? Does black lives matter? How do you... Go ahead. Absolutely.

I believe that Black Lives Matter. A lot went into my decision. And part of it is, first off, it is my thought that, you know, kneeling or wearing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt don't go hand in hand with supporting Black Lives. And so I felt like, just me personally, what eu acredito e que estou em uma posição que eu acredito que as vidas negras importam, mas eu senti que foi a decisão que eu tive de fazer e eu não senti que colocando a camisa e olhando, e indo mão em mão, com a apoio das vidas negras, ou que isso me fez ap Lives or not. I believe that for myself, my life has been supported through the gospel. Oh, not the gospel.

That everyone is made in the image of God and that we all for sure have God's glory. Alright, good. Guy that has his own thoughts who's religious. But you hear the gut beat, Tom? Can you imagine asking a white, black professional, you think Black lives matter?

That is like fucking... He should have just went, do you think fake tits matter? You fucking pig face. God. Just the facts, man. Good for you, Jonathan Isaac. And a few other plays, by the way. Speaking of the NBA, real quick, this made me giggle.

Have you seen Larry Bird lately? Not the most handsome guy, even when he was young. But some guy found a tomato that looks just like... Come on. That made me fucking laugh. Come on. That's fucking Larry. Where am I, Rez?

I didn't get to this one last week. Maybe this is why, you know, white people. What are you doing, black people? And I'm talking to all black people, obviously. The ones that are out there and have, you know, burning down wendy's and shit along with their white comrades but you know you get a little fucking physical every time you get mad what do i mean by that well it's an old white lady last week uh probably 70 she just had a major surgery transplant a liver transplant she's at a staples in new jersey and she asked some guy to put on his mask he didn't have a problem then he she asked a young black girl

gee i wonder how that's gonna go take a look at the video shows the irate suspect charged the immune compromised mother and picked up her cane before forcefully throwing her to the floor even the plastic partition meant to protect customers fell down compromised mother and picked up her cane before forcefully throwing her to the floor. Even the plastic partition meant to protect customers fell down. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Oh, it's Target. Behave.

Ain't going to take orders from a white person. behave ain't gonna take orders from a white person she's got an immune deficiency problem because she had a liver trend so she's really in danger i'm surprised she's even out and that's the response what a fucking vicious society according to kegan the old lady she asked another person put his mask on before the incident. And there were no problems at all. He was wearing it below the nose. And I asked him to put it up. If that was me, I would have said to her, shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up. I get mad at a girl where I get my hair cut at what's it called?

Alta. It's like a fucking it's where they sell hair product. It's like getting a haircut. They do weird shit down here in this hell. Get my hair cut in a fucking department store. I've never seen anything like it. I walk in and there's a girl right there. She goes, do you mind putting hand sanitizer on, please? And I wasn't in the mood.

And I said, oh, for fuck's sake. You know, I thought she'd giggle. She just fucking stared at me like. And then I squirted some all over my peepee right in front of her. Give it a good tug. No, but I was furious. I go, for fuck's sake. And then on the way out, I go, sorry for snapping at you, but stupid. How'd you like if you walked into my house and I said, do you mind douching? Wouldn't that bother you? Sure it would.

Do you want the truth on COVID? No, wait a minute. I want to show some more black girls losing their shit. I want to believe, well, let's check out this black girl got in a fight and tried to burn her boyfriend's car and uh it went pretty well so Razz said, Razz said, that looks like me trying to light a grill. By the way, you know, angry scorned women, that transcends all races. But, you know, but come on. These broads get pissed, but this one's my favorite.

You don't fucking piss off a black girl. I guess that's a girl. Looks like Warren Sapp in high school. Who the fuck is banging this beast? Jesus H. But watch her. Apparently she's mad at her boyfriend, too. Jesus H, but watch her. Apparently she's mad at her boyfriend too.

She's gonna fucking ruin his vehicle. I'm gonna kill you, you lying cocksucker! You fat nasty black bitch! Bitch! She's done it before! She must work at a butchery. Oh! A hoe got me fucked up earlier this morning. When I tell y'all, I don't play. Oh When I tell you I don't play I don't give a fuck whole baby mama you that you owe baby daddy This is supposed to be I don't play with niggas bitch

Tell that bitch go get her car fixed Yeah Early morning. Early morning. Early morning. Step back if you're going to like that. Early motherfucking morning. Angry.

Beach. What is that, Sprite? Mountain Dew? All right. She just did $40,000 worth of damage with a knife to the seats. Then she pours Mountain Dew like that's going to fuck shit up. You fat, nasty, black bitch. You're a real crumbum.

Oh, God. That made me laugh. Damn it. No, no, no, no! That was good. Real quickly, this is some great footage. Dramatic video posted to social media shows a man desperately clinging to the hood of a moving semi-tractor trailer on a Florida highway. Well, where the fuck else?

Check this out, folks. Florida be like, what the? Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. Holy shit. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

You see the windshield's all broke in the truck. He punched it. Look at this. This guy's trying to shake him off. It's like a Tom Cruise movie. And the thing's, I'm smart. I'm like everybody says. Like. It'll think I'm smart. Not like everybody says. Like, don't, I'm smart and I want the stage.

What are you doing? You're so stupid, so stupid, so stupid. Ah, this country's falling apart. Why is he dressed like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader? What the fuck? Should I tell the police? Tell the police. Amy Frank. All right, that's enough.

Oh, that is it, folks. God damn it. a lot to cover huh stay tuned keep watching TV and watch how racist you are white people reminded by everybody Raz did I leave anything out cameo.com I got two waiting for me

folks if you want me to send a little video that I make on my phone you tell me a little bit little video that I make on my phone, you tell me a little bit about the person, I'll roast them, say all kinds of things about his sister or his mom or her father, her brother, whatever. I'll ruin a guy at work that you don't like, or I'll say happy birthday to Auntie Linda. That is it. You guys think, and I will say, you're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow tomorrow have a good rest of the day guitar solo We'll see you next time.