The Nick DiPaolo Show - Joe's Kabul Plans Go KA-BOOM! | Nick Di Paolo Show #592

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

The REAL President Speaks. Bin Laden Warned US About Biden. Reverse the Races.

Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war

by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. By making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country Do you that you like to be able to Anyway I'm we're ready to get a lot done guitar solo Oh yeah! Good morning, afternoon, evening, everybody. How are you? It's Monday in the great state of Georgia, the friendliest state in the world.

It's freedom, baby, yeah! How's it going, folks? Boy, boy, boy, boy, have you been watching the stuff over the weekend from Kabul? Oh my God, oh my God. from Kabul. Oh my God. Oh my God. Not only was that a sign of everything deteriorating in Afghanistan and us losing, it was also, I think, for a sign of Biden on his way out the door. And there's no way we can replace him with that dumb whore who makes him look like a genius. Boy, I was reading the comments. Nobody likes Kamala Harris on nobody from any side. Have we ever been in a more perilous situation?

Oh, and then Trump had a rally I'll get to in a few minutes in Alabama. I don't know. It looked like the Beatles in 1968 at Shea Stadium. There must have been 90,000 people. Never seen anything like it. And you want us to believe that he lost the election. How dare you? How dare you, as Greta Thunberg said. How dare you? Because it was going to rain and I'm going to...

Anyways. Hey, everybody, starting tomorrow, I'm going to be out of the studio until the beginning of September, working on something pretty big. It's a great project with some of my funniest friends in the business. I will share a little more details when I come back. You know how that works. You can't spill the beans. While I'm away, we'll be putting out an episode every Monday through Thursday from the past couple of years of the Nick DiPaolo Show. These shows cover some of the biggest stories from 2018 through now, along with some great conversations with people like Alan Dertruitz,

Ted Nugent, Billy Byrd, Donald Trump, Colin Quinn. We thank you all for supporting me and sticking with this show. Rest assured that after this break, I'll be back and I'll keep doing what I do best, calling it like I see it and like you guys like it. Hard with no lube. Good night, everybody. Hey, hey, hey, wah, wah, wah. So what did you think of that cold opening, as we call it in the business, huh? Boy, wasn't that a stark difference between George Patton,

I know he wasn't the president, could have been though, and jerk off, Joe. Those are considered leaders, both. I was looking at twitter a little bit and i'm seeing people on the net freaking out about trump having his rally he said that what an asshole but but oh my god i dean abadaya who's a comedian from new york of middle eastern descent, he's kind of a contributor to CNN. He's fucking losing his mind. They can't believe what they believe. Evidence refutes everything.

Everything that they believe in that you see on TV tells them they're wrong, yet they continue and continue. There's only one truth, okay? There's only one. Don't forget it. They don't believe that, you know. The real president speaks. That's right, the real president speaks this weekend. You know what I'm talking about.

No, not Kamala Harris. Our boy Donald J. Trump Jr. Let's take a look at him in Alabama. And I'm telling you, unbelievable the size of the crowd. Did I send you that pic? I didn't? Are you sure? I think so.

I sent it separately. We'll look for it. I think I sent it separately, though. Oh, my God. Well, here he is in Alabama, you know, just making some good points and honest points about the mess that we're in. Roll the tape. It did not have to happen that way.

This is not a withdrawal. This was a total surrender. The surrender for no reason. It was a surrender? They weren't asking. We had them. I dealt with Abdul. Abdul.

He was the leader. Pause. I said, Abdul. I dealt with Abdul. I know there's a lot of them. It with Abdul. He was the leader. I said, Abdul. I dealt with Abdul. I know there's a lot of them. It was Abdul. It was Abdul.

It wasn't Muhammad. It wasn't Ahmed. There's only three names over there. I was speaking with one of the Abduls. And we had a good relationship. I drank Christian baby blood with him. And, you know, we killed a few Jews. Go ahead, Donald.

Abdul, if anything happens, we are going to rain terror upon you. It will be a terrible thing. Don't touch our American citizens. Don't ever come to our country. Don't ever come to our country. And you're going to continue fighting your civil war. I can't do that. They've been fighting it for hundreds of years. That's what they do is they fight and they're good fighters. But I had a good relationship other than that one statement. I said, after I said that, I said, now let's get down to business. And we had a conditions-based agreement.

And they didn't meet the first two conditions. Which was showering and bathing. And then they met him. And then they had a couple of other conditions that they were ready to meet. And then we had a rigged election and we had a new president. And the new president came into office and he dropped to his knees and he said, Come on in and take everything that we have. This is a disgraceful thing the most embarrassing thing that we've ever seen in this country

a little dose of the truth from the man the man hey he dealt with Abdul. I said, Abdul. I was talking to a guy named John in New York. Or Steve. I don't know. But it's true. He had a plan to evacuate.

And you know, when he says to the Taliban or anybody else, if you must one hair on an American's head, we will rain a shit storm on you the like you have never seen, you fucking woman-beaten goat fucking jerk-offs. I added that for emphasis. But you know, you know, he's exactly correct. He had a plan and Biden his cronies are like like everything else Trump touched we got to get rid of it we're not he's not taking credit for anything I don't give a fuck how many people die over there that's basically that's what we learned over the weekend that he had the intel was telling Biden that this was happening for a year that it

was crumbling fast and then he goes out this weekend and throws his military leaders under the bus, which they deserve to be. I call him General Milli Vanilli because he's a big phony. White rage. You'll see some white rage, the midterms, you big douchebags. But everything he's been told for the last, I don't know how many months, he's out there saying, no, that's not the case. We didn't know it was going to end like this. When his intelligence was telling him just the opposite. I want to thank you 12 people who voted for this jerk off.

You have blood on your hands too, okay? Don Lemon, cocksucker. Wolf Blitzer, shithead. Brian Williams, lying pig. Stephen Colbert, homosexual. We have the proof. Him dancing with Chuck Schumer. Why don't you just go tongue each other's asses, you ignorant liberal fucks? You have been wrong about everything from fucking Russiagate to taxes to fucking impeachments just little things you know everything mass not to wear a mask everything you have been wrong about every giant story and intentionally we know that it's how you keep us in our place may all your children get eye and ass cancer. Good night.

How many jokes have ended with your babies getting eye and ass cancer at a rim shot? Come on, folks. So Trump continued in front of this huge crowd. Maybe the greatest quote ever. This should go down on his tombstone. It's letting the people know how he feels about the woke. I'll give you a hint. It's sort of how most of us feel about the woke. Here's what he had to say. Boy, I love this. Go ahead. Everything woke turns to shit, okay? It's true. It's true. Look at what's happening.

It's true. It's true. No, I wanted to keep going. I guess I cut it. He turns his back and he faces the audience like a wrestler who just knocked somebody out. Oh, I fucking love it. How can you not love this guy? He was the best guy around. Goddamn right. People said, are you running in 2020? I'm staying right here. It turns to shit. That made me laugh so hard because five years ago, I was reading an article online. It was after some racial incident that was in the papers.

I can't remember which one, white cop, black victim, whatever. And you know how it gets really vitriolic, the comments after something like that. That's my favorite part of the internet, reading those, because white people can speak their honest minds because it's anonymous. But some guy goes, I'm a retired NYPD sergeant. This is his quote. And everything black people touch turns to shit. It was from a cop.

Now you people are going, well, that proves he's racist. No, no, no, no, no. He's down on the streets for 30 years. And that's not totally true. Like I said, I live in this town that's 60% black. And you guys know, you go out and live real life. We don't fucking hate each other. I see people going to lunch here every day, black and white, jogging past my house together. It's the fucking evil motherfuckers, the woke of the white liberals. When you black people have been saying white

people are blue-eyed devils, you don't realize it, but you have it half right. You're talking about progressives who pretend to represent you, who have kept you on the plantation for the last fucking couple hundred years. So you're right. You can't tell me Chuck Schumer

or fucking, I don't know, Whitmer, they aren't devils. Does Jewish consider, is that considered white? I always, always confuse me. Some people say yes and no. Well, I don't know. Nick, don't do that. You'll get in trouble on the internet. What? What are you talking about? So there's the real president speaking his mind. It's what we call a leader. And there's no way he's not going to run again, right? But can you imagine, what are they going to do? I always like to think ahead. What if he runs in 2024? I think he's more effective not being the president. But what if he runs in 2024? What can they do to him that they haven't already done, the Democrats?

They've tried to impeach him twice, making up all kinds of shit. They said, you know, him and a couple Russian whores are pissing on each other. He was watching Yankee. What else can they do to him? They're like dice clay. His act was so shocking,

he couldn't top it year after year. What are they going to do to him? You know who I'd like, who would be a good president? Well, besides Giuliani, what's his name? Colonel West. What's his freaking black guy?

Don't say Adam. Whatever. He's a conservative and a real military guy. And he's to the right of frickin' Mark LeBitt. I was going to really upset you and say Cornell. Say it in the mic, will you? You're part of the show, fella. I was going to really upset you there and say Cornell West. Dr. Cornell West.

Come on, brother. Dr. Cornell, I like him because he always throws brother in at the end. The white blue eyed cracker has kept us down for a thousand years. You know that, my brother. The white blue eyed cracker has kept us down for a thousand years You know that my brother He's kind of hip He's not as bad as a fucking You know a Sharpton or a Farrakhan lover

Cory Booker Shithead Maxine Waters All the real whitey haters Anyways I digress Let's move forward with the show Oh goodness Somebody had a good weekend Anyways, I digress. Let's move forward with the show. Oh, goodness. Somebody had a good weekend.

In our Are You Dog Styling Me segment today, America's ruling class may not be all as concerned about us as they let on. On Saturday, Senate Majority Leader Chuck, I can't turn away from a camera, Schumer, joined, it says comedian. We're calling Colbert a comedian still, joined left-wing operative, late-night TV show host Stephen Colbert backstage at a fucking Springsteen, could you get any more liberal? We should have bombed it. We should have blew it up. I love Springsteen's music. Hate his fucking politics. Maybe they're one and the same.

Anyways, a Springsteen concert in Central Park. So Colbert and Schumer were dancing together as Afghanistan burns and people die. This is so perfect. It really depicts what the elite jerk-offs are about.

As press secretary for failed socialist New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio caught the footage and posted, put it on Twitter with the phrase backstage antics. I want you to take a look at two of these whitest people. Chuck Schumer, this is twice in a week that this jerk-off has had the balls to go on stage and try to dance in public. It is fucking, embarrassing doesn't cover it.

And watch how gay Stephen Colbert's dance moves are. It's, can you imagine the shit that's going on in Kabul? And Colbert lectures us every night in his fucking monologues that it's Republicans or right-wingers and ba-ba-ba. And he's literally dancing. As little girls are being trampled to death this weekend at Kabul Airport like it was fucking a sale at Sparrow Airlines. Take a look at these two life partners dancing together. I saw a dick fall out of his ass. Yeah, don't dance with a hot blonde chick right there.

High five that old fucking scumbag. Oh my God. Disgusting. Fucking quiz! That's right, Chucky. Dancing as Americans are in danger. You said it all. You smug cocksucker.

Fuck you. Oh, that's not necessary. He doesn't suck cock anymore. Twitter commenters ridiculed Schumer for his tone-deaf display at the concert. Tone-deaf. Hello? Let's put it lightly hello hello life is good for our blue

elite while thousands of americans are stranded behind enemy lines one user remark headliner acts like bruce springsteen and paul simon was sent uh to it says to the appear. Who writes this shit? To appear at the vaccinated, here's this, vaccinated entry-only concert outdoors. Hey, Bruce, that's called discrimination. Same with you, Paul Simon. Anything worse than a liberal from New York and New Jersey? I swear to God, they are the worst. Do you have your varking papers? As Springsteen sings about the working man.

You fucking phony. You need your papers to get in. Do you hear that? You need your papers to get to a restaurant bar concert. But Donald Trump was the dictator and Nazi. Suck my ass tonight. New York City socialist mayor earlier issued a decree that vaccine passports would be needed to unlock any public venues. Who said that? De Blasio. Who else? Who the fuck said that? That asshole De Blasio. Who's the slimy little communist shit

twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Yeah, so you need a vaccine for outdoor concerts, despite the scientific evidence that it's virtually impossible to transmit COVID while you're outdoors. But he knows better than a doctor or, you know, epidemiologist, virologist. He knows. Look at him. Look at him. He's got corned beef there. I guarantee after that picture, he threw that out going, I'm not going to eat that. It stays in your asshole. Where's my sprout bread, you big girl? Drunk on power. Can I ask you a question?

How long has he been the mayor of New York? It feels like 1978 he started. I thought he's set to go. When does that happen? November? It is, right? Please tell me it is. I think he's set to go. When does that happen? November? It is, right? Please tell me it is. It looks like that Eric Adams, that black police chief, is going to be...

And again, as far as law and order goes, I like this guy. He said, they asked him, are you going to have your own security? You know, he says, no, I carry a gun everywhere, which I love, but that's all he's going to be right about the rest of it he's you know I think he's as lib as most New Yorkers why can't Curtis Sliwa New York are you ever going to fucking learn Curtis Sliwa is running for mayor it's a guy that

grew up in New York City he's kept it safe with the Guardian Angels. He puts his money where his mouth is. The guy, Gordy tried to whack him in the back of a cab. Could you get any more New York or any more ballsy than Curtis Sliwa? Please vote for him. Listen to me talking like elections really count. I'm still that naive. Oh, it upsets me so much. It really does. So anyways, you have to show your papers to get in, which is perfect for Springsteen. You guys are into fascism and totalitarianism. Admit it.

Just say it. Anyways, President Biden did so much damage to himself. And again, I have president in air quotes. This weekend, he was in Camp David and, you know, they said, hey, motherfucker, his people are going to get back here. You can't be in your underwear laying around. You know, there's people dying in Kabul. And so he gets on a plane, comes back from Cantab, gives a speech, and then gets back on the plane last week and then decided to come back again. So anyways, finally, President Biden answers press questions on Afghanistan on ABC News. And again, once again, he has the list in front of him. Oh, yeah. Bill from NPR,

Mary from PBS, Ivan from Russian State TV, all the fucking, you know, no Fox News. It was Doocy on this one. Probably not allowed in there. But this is him and this, he made, there was even people the next day, get this, CNN

and all these so-called friendly, they were like, what the fuck is he doing? Do you know how far off the reservation you have to be to have your best friends in the media that supported you, that made you president by hiding the Hunter Biden story, etc.? And they're even going, what are you fucking doing? We'll never see the White House again. Listen to some of the dogshit lies. And it's like four clips here.

The first one, he's talking about what our allies are saying about us. Go ahead. And then number two, what is your message to America's partners around the world who have criticized not the withdrawal, but the conduct of that withdrawal

and made them question America's credibility on the world stage? I have seen no question of our credibility from our allies around the world. Fucking liar. Liar. Tony Blair, who's not in office, I realize, but there's a bunch of evidence of people saying

that the United States is disgracing itself. He comes right out and fucks... He doesn't know what he's saying. He doesn't know if it's true or not. They push him out on a dolly. Remember like Silence of the Lambs when Hannibal Lecter out on a dolly. Remember like Silence of the Lambs when Hannibal Lecter was on a dolly all taped down to it?

That's what they did. They roll him out and he just says what's on the teleprompter. And the people that handle him are going, we're not going to take the flack. He's going to say it. It's a straight out fucking lie. Okay, let the brainless tit wonder continue.

What interest do we have in Afghanistan at this point with Al Qaeda gone? We went to Afghanistan for the express purpose. By the way, Al Qaeda is not gone. They're working with the Taliban. That's been proven by our intelligence agencies. He is so full of cock-a-doodle-doo. He's lying. Oh, here's the other.

Go ahead. Of getting rid of al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, as well as getting Osama bin Laden. Which you were against, I believe, weren't you? I mean, you were there, thank God. But al-Qaeda's still there. Clip number three, he's lying about consensus, saying that nobody saw the collapse of this coming

despite all the, if you guys read your newspapers and shit, there's been people on Fox News, not just Fox News, on other news networks saying, diplomats saying, we were warning the administration about this for, you know, even Trump's administration for a year, how things could go haywire, go sideways in a second. And this is what Dum Dum had to say about that. The Afghan forces we trained up would stay and fight.

In their own civil war they had going on. No one, I shouldn't say no one, the consensus was that it was highly unlikely that in 11 days they'd collapse and fall and the leader of Afghanistan would free the country. Liar! That was exactly the consensus. Unless the, you know,

the Pentagon's lying, which, you know, who knows? How can you be there for 20 years and not see it coming? For the love of my sister's ass, somebody answer that question. And then this one, he botches. How he has the balls to come out and say this well we're watching tv this weekend and watching i don't care if it was cnn cbs nbc uh reports of americans

trying to get to the airport with american passports being beaten by the taliban then jerk off joe here who he's spanking it in camp david They roll him back to D.C. and he has the nerve. They push him out there to say this about that. Are you saying unequivocally that any American who wants to get to the airport is getting there and getting past the security barrier and to the planes where they want to go? I thought the question was, how can they get through to the airport outside the airport? Pause. How can they get through the airport outside the airport anybody translator thank god kamala and blinken have those masks on they would be belly laughing in his face or shit in their pants going holy we're associated with this guy i thought the court he sounds like

spicoli for christ's sake and what was the fucking movie i can never remember the name of it. Fast Times. Fast Times, exactly. Oh, my. I thought you were saying it. No. Outside the airport, man. It's what he said. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Go ahead.

And the answer is, to the best of our knowledge, the Taliban checkpoints, they are letting through people showing american passports yeah after they chip their teeth and blacken their eyes no they're not here's the big question we got to ask ourselves is this going to be a fucking hostage this could be a huge you guys are probably too young well some of these are too young, to remember the Iranian hostage situation. What do they have, about 10? 10 of our guys over there, and women, back in the 70s.

There's only about, I don't know, there's thousands of Americans over there. This could get fucking ugly. Ugly. I can't imagine the fright. I told you what happened to when I I told this story already but when I went over there with the USO and we were there for like a week and a half and we had this uh older black gentleman who was like he was like a sergeant in Vietnam he was babysitting us you know and it's the day we're leaving and we had to go go out of the Kyrgyzstan airport and

shit and everybody's showing their paperwork and everybody's already through. Artie Lang, all the other guys. So I'm like last. I put my shit down. The guy looks at it. Now he's looking at it too long. It was like that scene in Midnight Express when the guy, American, gets busted with hash and turkey. Midnight Express when the guy, American, gets busted with hash and turkey. And you can hear his heart pounding. I'm going, huh? The guy asked me if I had went anywhere else. And I go, yeah, we went to whatever.

I guess I wasn't supposed to say that. Nobody told me that. So he calls another guy. A guy comes out with, like, medals. I'm like, nah. And meanwhile, all my buddies have their back to me. They're through. And luckily, the guy buddies have their back to me. They're through. And luckily, the guy, the Sarge, he goes through last.

He stepped up. Then he starts getting in a loud argument with the guy. I thought I was going to be left in Kandahar. Anyways. And I told you how that ended, right? They made us ante up 30 bucks each. It was like eight or 10 of us. Can you imagine?

That's all that was about. And then they let me through. But that's nothing compared to these people. They're fucking lives. Can you imagine having helped the United States in this conflict? And now, I read last in the paper yesterday, they kidnapped like 20 kids, and they're telling the parents, if you don't show up, we're going to kill your kids. How's that for a conundrum?

I know if I'm the dad, I go, oh, it's nice knowing you, Junior. I love your Danielle, but daddy got to go. No, I wouldn't. I'd take it. Sure, I would. Please. Anyways, he be a liar. You know what's funny about this whole mess?

It's pretty ironic. You know who warned us that Joe Biden couldn't handle this job? Do you know who said it first? Was it Brett Baier? Was it Sean Hannity? Was it Laura Ingraham? No. It was fucking Bin Laden himself. That's a good picture of him. That's a headshot he used when he played Kabooms in Tehran. good picture of him. That's a headshot he used when he played Kabooms in Tehran. Does that guy look the part or is it me? Naughty man. Bin Laden warned us in, listen to this, in a 2010, that's 11 years ago, a 2010 letter that Biden would lead the United States into crisis. He saw it coming 10 years ago.

Yet you people here in America who watch the news still voted for him, you eat people. Osama bin Laden. Osama bin Laden. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar That was from Bin Laden's second album, The Best of Female Circumcisions. That was from Bin Laden's second album, The Best of Female Circumcisions. Anyways, Bin Laden warned Al Qaeda. Listen to this. This is hilarious.

Imagine what this does to Biden's self-esteem when he hears this. Bin Laden warned Al Qaeda at the time not to target Joe Biden because he believed that is him inheriting the presidency if something were to happen to Barack Obama would lead the United States into a crisis. A resurfaced letter shows. Who's that black woman that does Miss Pat? The fucking psychic or some shit? I don't know. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. Can you imagine what that does to his... Terrorists said, don't hurt him.

He's valuable to us because if he gets in, he's going to fuck it all up. Miss Cleo. Miss Cleo. Exactly. Miss Cleo. That's Mr. Cleo right there. He said that 10 years ago. And yet you guys still wanted him to be the nominee. In the letter dated May 2010, the Al-Qaeda 9-11 mastermind wrote he had no assassination plots against Biden because he

deemed him totally unprepared to lead the United States. Bin Laden said that. And let's be honest. Do you remember what Obama said right after Joe announced he was running? You don't have to do this, Joe. And then he was quoted in a, I think it was supposed to be off the record. He said, Obama said of Biden, don't underestimate the ability for Joe to fuck things up. Seems like everybody knew he was a schmuck until you idiots watching CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, reading the LA Times.

You all fall for it. Quit sucking the media's dick and go by what you experience in real life. You'll be much, much better off. Instead, bin Laden urged his followers to be on the lookout for then-President Obama. He was going to kill a fellow Muslim. Oh, I'm kidding. I know he's a Jewish and Presbyterian. I don't know. He told them there was a high priority to target aircrafts belonging to Obama and then CIA Director David Petraeus. We have audio of him saying that. Translator. Oh, he dead now.

translator, oh, he dead now. Bin Laden said they are not to target visits by U.S. Vice President Biden. Excuse me. He's our MVP on the other team. The groups will remain on the lookout for Obama or betray, as Bin Laden wrote. The letter was uncovered in a treasure trove of documents found in the terrorist Pakistan's hideout after he was killed by U.S. forces in a raid on May 2nd of 2011.

We whacked the motherfucker. What murder! Exactly. And the guy that shot him, Robert O'Neill, he's all over. It's so funny. He's always on my Gutfeld's show. I would have kept it very quiet.

He wrote a book right after admitting it and shit. I think I'd still be in my basement with like camouflage on. But can you imagine that? What was that like, that mission? Do you remember we came in at night and we, they find Bin Laden like fucking watching, I think he was watching Curling on ESPN2 with some fucking shitty cable hookup. Oh, my God. Anyhow, let's lighten it up, shall we? That's a lot of politics up front for you.

But I can't help it. The weekend was just filled. I was fainting. I was watching, again, some of the lying networks, actually. That's how bad. They ran out. They couldn't cover for Biden anymore. They're like, what the fuck? What do you want us to say, Joe? So anyhow, here's a guy who sounds like a kindred spirit, maybe my soulmate. This guy, he was a groom, branded, he's branded a legend for sneakily watching rugby at his wedding. Look, I've been at weddings, not my own.

I mean, this is really a dick move. Even I wouldn't have the balls to do this. His bride wasn't impressed, though. I think we've all been to a wedding, haven't you? You know, as the Patriots are kicking off in a playoff game, AFC, whatever the fuck, whatever the game is, Yankees, Red Sox, and you're at a wedding with some fucking, you know, your wife's cousin's sister's getting, you don't even fucking know the people, but you're dragged there because your wife had lunch with her twice or whatever.

Haven't we all done that? As everybody's dancing, you're in the fucking bar on your 12th, Tito's and Tonic, watching the fucking NHL playoffs. A wedding can be one of the most important days of a person's life, and many people hope it will run smoothly.

Well, it sounds like this one did for this guy. One year ago today, a couple from Australia named Danny and Blake tied the knot and everything was magical until the bride spotted her partner propping his phone up against the wedding cake. Takes a lot of balls, kids. You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck face, dickhead, asshole. That's your opinion. Blake had positioned his phone in a spot opposite the top table. Got a picture of that?

So he could keep up with an NRL game. I don't know what the fuck that is. Rugby. Between the Penrith Panthers and the Cronulla Sharks. Matt, didn't you have like a, you had a grand on the Sharks plus two. Did you not? Look at this. He puts it against the wedding.

What is his in-laws thinking and shit? Oh, this is going to last. The Panthers won, just in case you had money on it. To mark their first wedding anniversary, Danny sheared a clip, the woman, the wife, on their TikTok account. Her reaction to her husband's actions on the big day. This is what she had to say about it.

Here she is. I still can't believe my husband did this at our wedding. Enjoy jerking off in the stall at the Hilton in Hawaii. No shammy shammy for you. I don't think she's that upset. First of all, she's still married to him. Second of all, why don't you go up here and smash the phone? You should have pretended it was a Jewish wedding

and just stomp on the glass. Break it. I have a similar story, but it wasn't intentional. You know, when the groom and the bride, this is my wedding, I'm using this as an astro in my coffee. The bride and the groom are supposed to dance to that special song. I was upstairs taking a dump. Honest to God.

I didn't really know the schedule of how a wedding... My wife planned the... I was so uninvolved with the planning of our wedding, she sent me an invitation. Ah, fuck it. Wonder why my teeth are brown. Drinking coffee with ashes in it. And I have rubbed dog shit on my gums. Anyways, that's the look that the lady gave her.

Look at him all smug and shit. By the way, kid, as far as rugby goes, it's for guys who aren't tough enough to play football. Yeah, but they don't wear pads. You know why? You can get away without wearing pads. Try that in an NFL game. You'll be communicating

by blinking your eyes i don't see any six foot six uh 280 pound black guys that run a 4 6 40 either playing rugby imagine a running back fucking the nigerian nightmare running through pernith panthers anyways back to this broadness story I don't give a fuck about. She says, I still can't believe my husband did this at our wedding. No nookie nookie for him. I don't like him no more. I despise it with every fiber of my being. The camera pans from Blake's phone screening the game over to Danny in her wedding dress, looking rather unimpressed by the whole situation. Clearly they can both laugh about it now because they're divorced and the kids are gone.

No. Because they can laugh about it now with a large audience sharing in the fun as the hilarious clip has since been viewed more than 3 million times and garnered over 226,000 likes. That's what people love.

A husband being an asshole. That's what all sitcoms are based on. Thousands also took the time to comment on the video with some branding Blake a legend. I'm guessing those were men for managing to watch the game at his wedding. One person said, absolute legend. And then he said this about the bride.

Me fuck you and your bone spurs. Oh God, help us. Another wrote, Good on him. What a legend. Ah, come on. Where was that? Australia? Yep.

You know why? That's still kind of a macho place, Australia. They're a little political. I was going to say a little political. As far as the government goes, it's just the opposite. You talk about right now, what's going on over there? As far as masks government goes it's just the opposite you talk about right now what's going on over there as far as masks and it's frightening it's like canada anyways it's a very white country and they're always drunk let's roll there are white niggers i've seen a lot of white niggers in

my time i like the drums behind that. Anyways, if you guys have been watching the NFL, I actually watched, I recorded two preseason. Even me, a football fanatic, it's hard to watch preseason because the starters play the first 30 seconds and then all the scrubs come in. But anyways, there's already been a couple brawls at football games this year.

I blame it on what this country did, what we're going through. Everybody's on edge, I swear to God. That and the 22 beers I'm sure they had in the parking lot before they went in. But fans in the stands continue to duke it out at NFL preseason games. One week after a bloody brawl among fans at a Rams-Chargers game, oh yeah, we showed that in Los Angeles, video of another fight at the Lions-Steelers game went viral Saturday night.

I put this under the reverse the races category. A woman was shown arguing with a man in front of her at Heinz Field before slapping him in the face to spark a wild... This is two fights I've showed at football games. The last one I showed you, a fat woman threw a cup of beer at a guy, and that started... Remember the big guy just punching everybody that moved? Maybe that was a baseball game. No, it was a football game. Anyway, so this woman... And I love what feminism has done. Women actually believe they can

physically confront the man now. It's fucking priceless. Anyways, a white woman slaps this black guy in the face. A wild fight breaks out in which her and another man were struck. Let's go to the videotape. Uh-oh. Look, he took his glasses off. Watch this guy get knocked out. This poor old guy. Right here.

Out. Out like a light. Oh, my God. Pause. You hear everybody? She slapped him. And I guarantee those are white people. I guarantee. Now, here we go. This is very similar when a white cop does something to a black guy. And the cameras are turned on when?

After the shit already started. We don't know. I don't know. But I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm guessing the white woman didn't provoke the black guy. I'm guessing he was doing something like standing up. I could be wrong. I doubt it. Not too many Karens are going to pick on a guy with dreadlocks, but then she has the nerve to fucking slap him in the face. Let me tell you something. I've never hit a woman in my life, but after I got sucker punched after my show a few years ago,

I'm rethinking that philosophy. Why does she think she can fucking hit this guy in the face? Now, why is this in the reverse the races? Because let's say that black guy's white, and that woman is black and surrounded by a bunch of black people like this woman is white people. Reverse the races. Imagine a black woman slapping the white guy in the face

and then the white guy punching the black woman in the face. You know what would happen? All the other black people surrounding, they would have jumped in and fucking, it would have been on. But what do you see here? White guy in a Jack Lambert shirt. What a disgrace you did to Jack Lambert. One of the toughest white linebackers

in the history of the game. You remember him with the fangs? No. Any white unity there? Anybody jumping in and pounding on the guy? You know why? White people have a lot of shit to lose, like houses and cars. But ladies, will you quit getting in the face of guys in the middle of a fight?

I've shown about 10 of these. But I wish we could do a follow-up up because I want to know what precipitated that fight before the cameras were turned on I don't know maybe she was drunk but why was he facing her and shit oh fuck it but this is

like the what second or third brawl they've already had football's getting crazy. These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. I don't know. Maybe it's these whites. We don't know.

But all I know is this. Turn off the lights. The party's over. They say that all good things must end. Call it a night. How about the poor white guy? I don't know if that's her husband or just a guy trying to defend her. Right after he came to, he looked at her and said this. Why did you do that, Terry?

Why did you do that, Terry? I wouldn't take it like, if our young woman slapped me in the face, no more. No more. Please don't do that. I mean, that white woman just fulfilled that black guy's lifetime fantasy of punching a white woman in the face and a white guy. Those crazy blacks, how about those crazy Italians, Nick? They're pretty fucked up. Oh, you got that right. I got a story to prove that. I got your vax right here. Oh,

I got your vax proof right here. The matrix of black squares on this guy's kid's name, his last name is Colinettis. He's from Italy. On his left arm gives proof of coronavirus status. A 22-year-old student in Italy has become an unexpected internet sensation after tattooing the barcode of his COVID-19 certificate on his arm. Check that out. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Damn guineas really make me laugh. Genius. Andrea Colaretta said he hadn't given much thought in advance before getting his latest tattoo, but decided on the topical and practical choice after talking with tattoo artist Gabriel Pallarone. He's very good.

I had Popeye done on the head of my dick when I was over there in Rome. You know what's funny about this? People say, well, it's very good. I had Popeye done on the head of my dick when I was over there in Rome. You know what's funny about this? People say, well, it's too topical. Yeah, but even, let's say this shit goes away, which I think it's going to. He'll have that as a reminder. When his kids go, Dad, what is that? Well, about 50 years ago, the chinks started a world war by sending germs all over them. It's certainly something original, he said.

I like to be different. Said that from the southern city of Reggio Calabria and told Correia della Calabria newspaper, which I get every morning. Terrific. He's just being different, and he likes to be different and stick out in the crowd. Alrighty then. The underside of Colin at his left arm. Now bears a matrix of black squares. From the QR code of his official Italian green pass.

The pass gives proof. Of coronavirus status. That you are vaccinated. Have recovered from the virus. Or tested negative. In the last 48 hours. Sort of like the numbers on a Jewish guy's arm in the fucking 1942. It's fucking scary, isn't it?

The times are limited. That's your world. I just live in it. An extension of the European Union's digital COVID certificate, it has been required in Italy since August 6th to get into cinemas, museums, indoor sports venues, or to eat indoors at restaurants. That's kind of important in Italy. It's just so ridiculous.

I agree. Colinetta, who said he had received both doses of coronavirus vaccine, said although he has received lots of attention on Instagram and TikTok, His parents were left a bit perplexed. Crazy. Certainly, they encouraged me to be less impulsive and to better reflect on things, he told the paper. But his new barcode works, he said. A video posted on TikTok by Pelleroni

shows a mass colonnade entering McDonald's. What? You're in Italy and you're going into McDonald's? What, for their chicken palm? And lifting his arm to take a photo of his tattoo. A security guard at the entrance is seen scanning Colonnade's photo before the video ends abruptly, leaving it unclear whether Colonnade ultimately got those Italian McNuggets.

See, now that he's posted that all over the Internet, couldn't you just take that image of his barcode and use it to go wherever the fuck you want in Italy? I guess, but here's why maybe not. I tried it with a boarding pass. I took a picture of a boarding pass, and it didn't work. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Tried that in Montreal. I'm always getting in a beef with you. All right, that is enough. That is enough for today, ladies and gentlemen. Again, I want to remind you, I'll be flying out tonight to upstate New York, hopefully. I don't even know what the weather, as of yesterday, I would have never got up there, but hopefully it's better. And I'm going to be gone supposedly two weeks. Could be less.

You know, sometimes these things wrap quicker. I don't know. But we will be airing reruns, episodes, the best of Monday through Thursday because we appreciate the support. There's some good interviews in there. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, nickdip.com. Check me at my tour dates and cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or a relative, go to cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me a little bit about the person,

and I'll roast them. I'll roast them like a pig. That's it. You guys think it? I will say it. You're very welcome. I will see you back here in a couple weeks. So until then, stay safe. Bye-bye. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.