The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kamala An International Joke | Nick Di Paolo Show #1282

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Coast Guard hero to still get kicked out. Dem-wits on the march. Chinese police stations in the US. Antonio Brown crazy. Volleyball team banned from own lockerroom.

Make sure to join me on Patreon to get the exclusive Encore episode. Today I'll be talking about a tender date that went really bad. Kind of a Bonnie and Clyde story with a Mexican slant to it. You'll also get access to all the past shows, including every Encore show. Discounts on merchandise and more. Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo show to sign up today. Okay, thank you. Thank you.

Mr. President. Mr. President. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Get him.

He's going to shit on the rug. Quick. guitar solo And now, here's Nick! Hey, how are you, Ed? Good to see you. What's that, a hickey on your neck? Or did you touch a muffler? I don't know. What?

Great to be with you on a Monday evening, folks. Great show for you tonight. We've got Linda Evans from the Great Show Dynasty. Have you seen the rack on her, Ed? And Robert Goulet, a terrible hack singer with a shitty mustache. Oh my God, he stinks. And also joining us tonight,

97-year-old woman from Tallahassee, Florida, who's been collecting her own kidney stones for over 40 years, and then she lines the bottom of her fish tank with them. Mildred Caffey is with us tonight. Give that bag of shit a round of applause. All right. Great weekend of, oh, I can quit now. We can talk real. So what went on over the weekend? Wait a minute. When we left, we were supposed to get hit with a storm, right? Was that?

We were supposed to, yeah. Yeah. Once again, folks, I was in my underwear in the middle of the street, catching leaves gently floating down. We get lucky. But when I say lucky because it goes right past us, I guess Savannah sits in a little bit, right? Excuse me. And it banged left right after it got past us. It went into South Carolina.

You know? It was like we were hiding behind. It's like when you're speeding and the cop's hiding behind a rock in his car and you blow by. Good analogy, Nick. Ah, go fuck your sister. Anyway. So, yeah. So, luckily, Sarah C. had to say hack thoughts and prayers.

Whatever goes out to those poor people. And Fort Myers is no longer Fort Myers. And I guess it never will be. I hope Snapper's Comedy Club is still there, because that's basically Fort Myers. So yeah, my brother Naples, second year in a row, he dodges a bullet. No flooding. A little bit of damage, I think he said, to his foundation. But it wasn't. And he said a half mile up the street there's some houses that are

just decimated half mile from his kids got a horseshoe up his ass you know I'm saying anyways that's that so yeah we dodged another one Savannah's a magic town yeah cut to my house being burned down when I get back. Because I left a, I don't know, who am I kidding? Anyways, Dallas came over last night. I used the pizza oven. First time in a little while, actually. Because, you know, like I said, there's nothing I like more than pizza.

That includes Snatcharini. And when you're addicted to something, you know, walk by that thing. It's like being a crackhead. There's your dealer sitting in the kitchen going. But yeah, so. Other than that, pretty boring fucking week.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, I have AIDS. But that's no big deal. A couple of Mentos. See those commercials? They cure everything. Some scares in the college football world. We did, real quick.

Me and Dallas are queer for football, college football. But, yeah, Georgia goes to Mizzou. And down late in the game. God bless Mizzou for putting up a nice fight. But like a defending champion, they pull it out at the end. And I can't think of it. I know Auburn gave LSU a scare. And BC beat Louisville.

Anyways, I know you guys hate that shit. How about me? I quit watching the Red Sox at game 158. I've watched them like the last, I don't know, it might be eight left. I finally gave up. Anyhow, let's get on this stupid thing, shall we? Did I mention Trevon Noah? Good shit canned. Not shit canned. I think he left actually. Can I just say, Trevon Noah, yeah, the daily show stunk but but he honestly he's a really nice guy and i was talking to colin quinn today and um trevor is like he's one of these international

comics like russell peters is this an indian guy or whatever he's like the biggest comic in the world you don't even really know who he is but But he plays all over the continent. He's got a huge following. Because, you know, India, kind of a big... And the same with Trevor Noah, he's like kind of an international star. And like I said, he was... I met him at the Comedy Cellar hanging out, decent guy and shit. But you know, that show sucked. And even he knows that...

He said to Colin Quinn one night, I wish I was a real comedian like you so at least he knows he's a hack but he does do and Colin and me agree he does great dialects because he travels all over the place and anyways why am I talking about him? I don't know

I'm helping him getting crushed I fucking I ran him out of town. He's listing all the people in his monologue. I love Gutfeld's cockiness. If he ever stops doing that, I'll never talk to him again. Let's get on this stupid thing. Hero to zero.

Republicans slam President Joe Biden, we still call him president, for praising a Coast Guard rescue swimmer who's facing discharge from the military because of Biden's own vaccine mandate for the armed forces. Let's kill our own. Let's give a shot to our own military people. Keep us safe. Biden had called aviation survival technician second class. I don't like that title. I don't care what it is. Second class Zach Laish on Friday to thank him and his fellow coasties for saving the lives of Floridians suffering from Hurricane Ian wreckage.

The president boasted about the call afterwards, and the White House put out a press statement on the exchange between the two. However, as reported by Breitbart, Lesch is due to be kicked out of the Coast Guard within 30 to 60 days. Why, folks? To being unvaccinated, given the Biden administration's August 2021 military vaccine mandate. I like the fracture of his fucking... I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in.

Why don't you? I can't. He'll audit me. What a dick. You think when he hung up the phone, he even remembered talking to anybody? What an embarrassment. I'm going to show you a commercial the Republicans made in a few minutes that sums up how, what a fucking, ugh. Can you imagine praising somebody and then, yeah,

I can because a couple months ago he was singing the praises of, put the flag at half-mast of that woman that died, that Congresswoman. And then two minutes later he's going, Jackie, in the house? Fucking retard. It's really sad. And this dumb bitch of a wife sits there watching him being made a fool of. Not to mention putting us in danger. I'm not even covering Putin in all his nuclear talk this week. He made like a commercial showing gas masks and Tony Blinken's on Sunday shows talking about nuclear war. Oh, if they ever use those, we'll crush whatever.

You believe that? All the shit they said that was going to happen when Trump became president. And these fuckers have us on the brink. But you keep voting Democrats, shit faces. Obviously not you people. You're like me. You're brilliant. You're smart.

You're funny. Good looking. Tiny dick. Listen, Zach Laish was deployed by the Coast Guard to rescue stranded Floridians, but is still being kicked out over a vaccine. Biden's mandate must end. Who said that? Republican Mike Waltz, aachen Sie Deutsch. A National Guard Green Beret Colonel. That's kind of a big deal. This isn't even the

guy. That's me on vacation in Sandals, Jamaica. They told me it was hang glided and they dropped me. On Friday he personally pulled out a... Listen to what this guy did. He pulled out a disabled woman and her husband from their back bedroom. In my mind I'm going, better off drowning at that point. What are you going to do? You're 78, you're in a chair,

shitting your bag on your hip. It's no good. It's no good. What's the matter with you? Sorry, Jimmy. I'm sorry. A disabled woman and her husband from their back bedroom that had a doorway jammed with a couch. I'm guessing our kids put it there. Nick, stop. The rescuer kicked through a wall to pull them both out. Jesus Christ, the Kool-Aid guy. And then later went back to retrieve her specialized wheelchair, which had $2,000 rims, strapping it to his body, Jesus Christ, as he was hoisted by a helicopter.

But let's kick him out. He was the best guy around. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Press Secretary Brian Griffin tweeted, the Florida State Guard has no vaccine mandate and is accepting applications. The Biden administration has indicated it does not plan to lift the vaccine mandate. What more do you need to know that this is an international plot

to bring the fucking world to its end, imposed on all members of the military? So far, nearly 8,000, get this, 8,000 service members. These are people willing to fight and die for our country. They've been kicked out of the military due to the mandate in the midst of a recruiting crisis. Just let that sink in. If you don't think this country is under attack in its way of life in every way, you're fucking high.

And, you know, this guy, it doesn't matter if you remove him tomorrow. It doesn't matter. Because it's either, like I said, the World Economic Forum, Soros, whoever runs the goddamn planet. It has nothing to do with dinkweed here. Part of me believes Obama's behind it. He just had to turn a capitalist country. He grew up with Marxists. Oh, sure, blame him, Nick. I'm telling you. AOC, all of them. But they're not even bright enough, maybe. I don't know what to say. But Joe,

I wrote a song for you. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I get that stinking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. It's a beautiful song. I like the bass. I like their old stuff. Anyhow, yeah, that's it. Kick the hero out. How is that still?

Isn't that proof you guys don't want to weaken the military and... and nine other reasons, but... During a crisis. Who would want them? We're on the precipice of fucking nuclear. Yeah, let me sign up. I would, but I got a soft shoulder, the doctor told me. And flat feet.

You know, they used to turn people down with flat feet. Did Dallas, were they still doing that when you were in there? When I was in, yeah. They were still doing it? You had to get medical waivers, and they would measure the feet, and yeah, they were still doing it. I don't understand that one for the life of me. I wouldn't, they would have turned me, I have

the flattest feet, I have no arch. You know when you have a wet foot, and you step on cement, and you see the, I got nothing. It's all right in my pants. What? You just, oh, stop it. It's Monday. Get off my back. Get off my back.

Fucking bathroom's still not done. If I have to take a dump into a Maxwell house, can't one more time. Anyways, let's move on. Demwits on parade. On Wednesday, President Biden asked a crowd whether a dead lawmaker, remember? We showed that last week.

Indiana Republican Jackie Walorski was in the audience. Jackie, you up in the house, motherfucker? Where's Jackie? I didn't think she wasn't going to be here. That's poor Jackie. And look at stupid. I think I see her. Guy's having a seance. Then he goes, Elvis! Walorski and two aides died in an August car crash at the time.

The White House issued a condolence statement in the president's name. The next day it was Vice President Kamala Harris's turn to play the village idiot make that the global village idiot i mean you couldn't make these mistakes if we were making a movie to shit on this administration people are going you're going over the top this broad is the i apologize to any female politicians that i call stupid prior to this. She must have blown her way to the top. She is a nitwit. How was she the... Only in California could she be like the head lawyer in California.

Only in the state of California could she become the attorney general. Ay-yi-yi. Look at her there. She looks like fucking... I don't know. Pick some Spanish guy with long hair. Danny Trejo. Yeah. Who?

Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo? Who's that? Who's that? Mejete. Oh, yeah. I'll show you a picture. Yeah, that cleared it up.

He's ugly as fuck. You said it like the guy's a household name, is he? Probably is. Anyhow. Anyways, that's her. Isn't she pretty, huh? Oh, you see. After touring the demilitarized zone that separates North and South Korea,

they told her it was Texas. And the vice president forgot whose side we're on. Listen, now I'll remind you people, because I know you're busy, you got kids, you might not realize, but North Korea has been the enemy forever. You understand? South Korea is our friend, Seoul and all. Okay. Now this is your vice president, by the way. You people who voted, I really, I could strangle you. Listen to this. Again, this is what happens when you give somebody a job because of skin color and gender. Let's take a listen to Nitwit. So the United States shares a very important relationship, which is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea. And it is an alliance that is

strong and enduring and today there were several demonstrations of just that point what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. God help us. What a nitwit. This is your vice president. As much as I wasn't a Pence fan, I'm sure he passed eighth grade history. She's got the glasses on because she just smoked some fucking crack in the... Anyways, meanwhile, North Korea, you know how they marked their visit?

With a spree of weapons testing, firing ballistic missiles four times in a week. Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind. You're breaking my bars here, huh? You're breaking my bars. I know you're going to love that, Della. I know you're going to love that. That's what they did. I'm guessing they're doing this with a little irony. As far as Vladimir Putin goes, he got the world's attention by declaring that Russia annexed four Ukrainian regions and would use nuclear weapons to defend them.

Still, this is what they said would happen, remember? And you know what's funny? Why aren't you guys all over Trump and blaming him? I'm sure he had something to do with this, right? He's best friends with Putin. Oh, that's not true anymore. In a speech that twisted history to make Russia a victim, the Tsar wannabe called America the enemy, claimed it was possessed by Satanism. This is shithead talking. It's not completely wrong. No, actually a good point.

And in the most ominous passage warned the United States is the only country in the world that has used nuclear weapons twice, destroying the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Japan, and they created the precedent. Yeah, if I was Biden or whoever, I'd go, yeah, take note of that, stupid. It's not just a fun fact. It also means we'll do it to you.

If we have to. Okay, I have an eyelash or something. Keep it running. Don't fucking... I have an eye... You guys can't see it. It's like a two-by-four hanging down. Oh, my God. Get out of there.

That's great. Now I get two of them. Fucking... Where was I get two of them. Fucking. Where was I? Oh, yeah, he says, and we created the nuclear precedent. Yes, sir. Glad you understand that there, Vlad.

China, which is propping up Putin with coal and oil purchases. Here we are trying to do the Green New Deal and all that shit. These guys making deals, coal, oil, anything. And believe me, they don't worry about the ozone. Here is Jinping drinking a glass of his own piss. That's how crazy he is. Coal and oil purchase as part of a troubling new alliance is poking Japan and menacing Taiwan in what looks like rehearsal for an invasion.

I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass.

Two chopsticks. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Talk to me in the face. Biden's reaction has been strange in that he vows America would put boots on the ground to help defend the island. In fact, he's promised the United States combat role four times, and four times aides have walked back those comments saying the policy remains only that we would sell Taiwan military equipment to defend itself. Have you ever seen a more... This is a little important. You're sending a message out to your adversaries,

and you're not on the same page. Why do you think Putin's sitting there with his fucking balls on the button, going, these nitwits have no idea what they're doing? My biggest fear is Putin's got, like, brain cancer, and they're not telling us. You know what I mean? And he's going to fight. He he doesn't give a shit he knows he's got about two years yeah Senate Republicans put out this ad I won't play all of it but I might because I'm lazy

putting putting out the regime's mistakes since they came into office. And again, I could have done better. It's not mean enough for me. It's not, you know, I mean, it reeks of McCarthy, the fucking minority House Speaker, who I don't trust him either. You know, I need a Marguerite. I need a male version of, what's her name? Taylor Greene. Yeah, Marguerite Taylor Greene. Well, Nick, why do you need a male version? Fucking chauvinist. Let's listen to this commercial that the Republicans put out this weekend. We're two years into the Biden presidency. America is on the wrong track. So how did we get here? On day one, Joe Biden moved to kill domestic energy production.

See, they fucked up right there. How did we get here? First, he stole the election. That's where I'd start. And I'd go, prove me wrong. And then I'd play the rest of it. Go ahead. Then, with the help of Democrats in Congress, he set out on a massive spending spree, ignoring warning signs about inflation.

This is going to potentially overheat the economy. If you overheat the economy longer and longer, you get more and more inflation. Inflation skyrocketed, reaching the highest rate in 40 years. Oh, no! The Biden administration also weakened enforcement at the border and stopped building the wall. This led to a record number of migrants crossing into the country, bringing deadly drugs into communities all across America. A growing fentanyl crisis is wreaking havoc across the nation

from an increase in drug smuggling at the southern border. The Biden administration let 2 million people illegally into the country. Human traffickers and drug cartels are telling people you can get in. We cannot sustain this. Overseas, the Biden administration failed America with a disastrous and deadly withdrawal from Afghanistan. Thirteen brave Americans killed at the Kabul airport. This is our leader's fault.

This is a horrible wound to our reputation. This emboldened our enemies. Our adversaries are going to be testing the United States of America after this debacle. Russia in the Baltics, China in Taiwan. Russia and the Baltics, China and Taiwan. This year, with the economy now in recession, Democrats passed even more reckless spending, and inflation got worse. I can sum it up in one sound.

Joe, how's things going as far as the economy? How's things going as far as crime? How's things going as far as you taking a nice smooth ball movement? That thing's funnier the more you play it. Right now somebody's listening going, motherfucker, move on. Anyways, again, not mean enough. You know, I would. I'd start with a questionable election.

Don't even say it was stolen, but whatever. And then when they bring up the wall, he stopped building the wall. Again, quit talking about a wall. In the end, I would have went, fuck the wall. We're going to put the military there. See, that's how you know it's a con, folks.

Why would you build a wall when you have flamethrowers, like I said? Seriously, technology that can melt people on the spot. No, just ask yourself that. You really, we know what this is about. Both sides want cheap labor, blah, blah, blah. But that used to be a good argument. But now it's not because we're so high tech. You can't get a fucking people coming home from Ecuador

with an eighth-grade education. What, are they going to write code? You know what I mean? It makes no sense. Anyways, it's a good time to do a commercial because I'm upset. Hey, guys, I was watching football this weekend and not blowing, guys, and it looks cold up north.

For those of you who haven't smartened up and moved down south yet, take a minute, don't take that personally, sister, and get yourself a Nick DiPaolo show hoodie. They are actually 10% off until midnight tonight. Seriously, this is the best thing we sell.

We can't keep them on the shelves, so we put them in the refrigerator. But you know, kids, that's a good-looking piece of equipment. I'll tell you how popular it is. I saw these black kids loot in a store in Philly. Two of them had these on, and they don't even like me. We have a few of these left in medium, large, and

extra large. And when they're gone, they're gone. You know what I'm saying? Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com and click on store. Thank you guys very, very much. Comedy, very good to me. What we got here?

Chinese Paris station in the United States. Chinese Paris station in the United States. Chinese, listen to this. And somebody explain how this happens. I'll be very happy to cry. China has opened dozens of overseas police service stations, whatever that is, around the globe to monitor its citizens

living abroad. And if you believe that, you can tickle my tape with a feather, including one location in New York City and three in Toronto. Okay? We said on the 91st, who has it? All right.

Make sure it comes out with dumplings. What are you fucking doing, old Joe? Hey, like this shouldn't be, this is, the bad news is coming so fast. Nobody will even give this. Why are they having police service stations in our country? Can anybody just maybe look into that?

Sounds kind of important. You know what I'm saying? They do it under the guise of monitoring there. These operations eschew official bilateral police and judicial cooperation and violate the international rule of law. It may violate the territorial integrity in third countries involved in setting up a parallel policing mechanism using illegal methods, reads a report by Safeguard Defenders, a human rights watchdog released earlier this month. Well, what are you, are you

going to research it further? Are you just going to tell us this is going on? The report titled 110 Overseas Chinese Transnational Policing Gone Wild. Gone wild. We are a country of jerk offs. We're talking about an international incident and we have to tag it with a show that was popular, with a tape that fucking guys ordered. Have you got to do fucking Chinese bitches going wild? Details China's extensive efforts to combat fraud, in quotes, by its citizens living overseas, in part by opening several police stations on five continents that have assisted Chinese authorities in carrying out policing operations on foreign soil. See, it's stuff like this, folks. You know what I mean?

This should be a big deal. Meanwhile, how much of the farmland have they bought in this country, too? Do you guys, anybody? Anybody here seen the long distance and commotion? I got one already. But guess who? Europe is home to most of the police stations with fucking Europe. They are.

Europe gave up, folks, 30 years ago. I'll say it again. Bill Hicks, who's a lefty, was over in London becoming kind of famous over there. It's got to be 30 years ago now. He came back on its... And he's a lib. I mean, he used to be. He's dead now.

But he said, it's such a socialist shithole over there. That's coming from a guy who's pretty far left with his comedy. They've given up. There's no go zone. We've talked about it. This neighborhood you can't go into. Most of the police stations with locations spread across the continent in places such as London,

Amsterdam, Prague, Budapest, Athens, Paris, Garden City, what? Madrid, and Frankfurt. Oh, God help me. North America is also home to four of the stations with three locations.

Okay. It just said, oh, did it say North America? Is that what I said? Yeah. Not America, right? Three locations in Toronto. I visited one of them. Beautiful place.

I'm telling you. They have a continental them. Beautiful place. I'm telling you. They have a continental breakfast. What? It's a police station. Nick, what do you... And again, make the skin on the duck crispy. Pause for laughter.

Don't edit that. That was beautiful. In all, there are 54 such stations in 30 different countries. But no, China's not a taking over the, they're not trying to take over the globe. That's your imagination. The report details how China has attempted to combat the growing issue of fraud and telecommunication fraud by Chinese nationals. Yeah, that's what it is.

That's what it is. They were in cahoots with Verizon and Lilly from AT&T. Running operations that have resulted in 230,000 Chinese nationals being persuaded to return. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what the persuasion involved. You know, it's some guy knocking on a door with fucking eyes like dime slots. You take kid wife, you come out.

Persuaded to return to China. It says it in quotes voluntarily. Over the last year to face criminal prosecution. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me.

Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. I'll play that till I'm 100. Come over here.. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. I'll play that till I'm 100. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Talk to me in the face. That's what I say to my wife now when we're fighting.

She's yelling at me from upstairs. I go, come talk to me in the face. The Chinese government has claimed that the stations provide vital services to its citizens living abroad, not to mention Zagnut bars and orangeade. What? Again, folks, hold on. I have a kite string hanging. If you could see this from here, you'd die.

I'm waiting to see. I feel like, you know, the guy we just showed, the National Guard, the fucking Coast Guard guy on the rope? He's going to go right by my... Anyway, services to local... Though the report notes that many of the services are those that would be traditionally carried out by an overseas embassy.

So why isn't that the case now? Instead, the report argues that these stations have been used to enhance China's overseas law enforcement capabilities. Impossible violation of Internet. No, not impossible violation. It's a violation of international law. I looked it up.

I went to school for that at DeVry. The report, a double major, AC and Duck work in international history. The report also outlines the potential human rights abuses associated with the stations including tit twisters I can't even think of anything including harassment and intimidation methods such as threatening the family members of the overseas citizens. That's what they do. They go you come with us. We know your parents lived in Zhangqiu, Flire, and we're going to go over there and beat your kids senseless. And who said you could have a daughter anyway? Those Chinese, they play for keeps.

But they don't have the balls to come talk to me in the face. Anybody here seen the man out here? What do we got here? Right here in our state. Marco Antonio. Marco. Antonio. Marco.

Antonio. Antonio Brown, who's mentally ill, a gifted athlete who's just a hardened criminal, who I predict a year or two from now, if he doesn't get help, it's going to take somebody's life when he's on the street or whatever. Antonio Brown was caught on video, May 14th, shoving his bare ass, his black

ass, into the face of a stunt. First of all, she didn't look that stunned to me. But what are you going to do, right? This is where we're at. If she looked angry, she'd be labeled whatever but but she looked like she's having a good time a stunned woman in an outdoor swimming pool at Armani Hotel in Dubai now as I understand it in Dubai you can't even walk around a hotel without a shirt on I want to again I want to follow and see if anything happens to him.

And then lifting his penis out of the water, which, just that sentence alone I'm envious, lifted his penis out of the water. Like it was, like... Lifting. Yeah. Exactly, like it was a five-year-old child. And whipping it

in her direction as wide-eyed vacationations watched in shock, video footage obtained by the Post shows Brown, 34, way too close to comfort to the woman, who initially laughed off, she's probably just trying to be polite, the attention, but quickly swam away to escape the controversial gridiron grate. Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. All right right she was racist and she had a horrible boy but but check out this video and it's just go ahead I couldn't believe what I was seeing He's waterboarding her. He's giving her the longboard.

Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, God. All right. Hey, where are the white women at? They're in the low end. How about the doofus? The first couple of voices I heard, I think, were Antonio's buddy. I heard black voice.

But then I hear white guys laughing. And, you know, and again, I'm praying that's not somebody's girlfriend there and their boyfriend sitting around laughing about it. Please tell me that wasn't a situation. And I know what you're thinking. Well, what would you do? I'd fucking, if it's my wife or girlfriend, I don't care if he fucking kills me, which he probably would.

I'd fucking tell him to get out of the pool, something. At least don't drown me. You can beat me to death on the cement. But you're going to sit there like a fucking bitch notorious NFL star Antonio Brown went on a Twitter tirade Saturday in response to an exclusive post report about him exposing himself to guests at a swanky Dubai hotel he says listen to this nitwit this guy is just shithouse crazy it's crazy to me that even after I retire, there is disinformation. He's using the word disinformation like he's Pelosi. Coming out about me, the embattled pro receiver said.

Ironically, during a time when the NFL is getting heat for allowing players to play when they're clearly concussed. Yeah, that's relevant to this situation. They've been using black men as guinea pigs. Is that right? First of all, you dumb fucking animal. Were you forced to play pro football? Second of all, where else would you have the money? If you were born in

another country, you'd be dead by now or in prison, and that country would be better off. Every chance they get to sway the heat off themselves, this is him talking again, they use me. In the video, you can clearly see she runs off with my swim trunks, he tweeted. Okay. If roles were reversed, the headlines would read, A, B, having a wild night with nude female. Yet when it's me, it automatically becomes a hate crime. What?

Fucking guy's insane. Two eyewitnesses told the Post that Brown continued to flaunt his private parts several times after the recording ended, rudely asking the woman, you want it? It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Again, this is Dubai, folks. If you're seen making out with your girlfriend, you're going to get in trouble at the hotel. When asked if he condoned stripping in the pool and exposing himself, Brown texted a reporter Saturday,

Do what you got to do, pussy, you white boy's dead already. You are correct, sir. That's actually the only true thing he said. What he's saying is do what you gotta do. I challenge you. I'm sticking my black ass in your girlfriend's face. That's what that means. Fuck, unbelievable.

And again, so internationally they can get away with anything? Can he shoplift over there too? And this is why they had separate pools back in the 50s. It's a joke, folks. I've swam in a lot of black people, trust me. I was a lifeguard back in the, and the black kid used to make the hair on my legs stand up.

One time I was leaving, I fought a guy named Popcorn. I mean Corn Pop. Popcorn. Hey guys, make plans to come and see me on the road. Don't worry, I'm not going to stick my ass

in your girlfriend's phrase in the front row. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates as opposed to the ones where I do comedy laying on my back. Friday, November 11th at Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. The next night, Saturday, November 12th, Snappers. Again, we have to check on that one. Tommy, make a call.

That's Snappers Comedy Club in Fort Myers, which was devastated worse than anybody, I think, in any area. Sunday, November 13th, Sidesplitters Comedy Club, Tampa, which is, did you guys see the footage from Tampa? Second year in a row, the storm is doing this, and for some reason, it's like right on the outer, it sucks the water out of Tampa. The rest of the bays are being inundated with 18-foot surges. They, the water gets sucked out.

Bobby Jewell, my buddy who lived there, sent me a picture. You can see mud like it's low tide. Do you fucking believe that? And they were pretty much spared two years in a row. And at the Tampa show, you can ask me about that. No, I'll be doing a live Q&A

after the show in Tampa with the VIP ticket holders, so grab them before they're gone. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickadip.com. Anyways, let's move on, shall we? Fuck this transition. Oh, boy.

Most members of a high school volleyball team in Vermont have been barred. By the way, these are female. I don't know why they didn't say that. Have been barred from their own locker room after a dust-up with a transgender athlete, according to reports. Jesus. My vagina's angry. I don't blame you, sugar. It is.

It's pissed off. Why's that? Blake Allen, who plays for the Randolph Union high school girls volleyball team. She's a poor man's Jennifer Anderson. She looks like that. Anyways, she was talking at WCAX how uncomfortable it makes her feel. It's just a penis. Can you fucking, again, they're attacking everything in our society that makes us

civil and it's it's all intentional it's it's just a way they're doing it but i mean she's a freshman girl at portland here she is she's talking to local news anyways it's a huge thing everyone's asking like so why you allowed in the locker room? High school student Blake Ellen and her teammates are currently barred from using the locker room after some of the girls on the team objected to allowing a transgender player in the girls' locker room. My mom wants me to do this interview to try to make a change. Ellen says the dispute started when the trans student made an inappropriate comment while

members of the volleyball team were getting changed. She says her issue is not with having the trans student on the team or at school, but specifically in the locker room. Biological boys that go in the girls' bathroom, but never a locker room situation. She says that fellow team members and parents have also raised similar concerns and have approached the school with them. They were told that under state law, the transgender student could use whatever locker room they identified. Okay. Okay. Once again, did we even cover, we did, right? We cover the story up in Canada, the shop teacher with the fake tits. Yeah. That's still going on. And, and the administration's trying to defend him or it.

You're the weirdo for having a problem with it. Can you imagine how easy that would be to solve? She's even being nice. The kids are nice. We don't mind that he's on the team or whatever. They're even nice about it. That should even bother them. They've grown up in a PC

brainwashed world. They're not being bigoted. They're being nice about it. The school's going, no, fuck you. He gets to do what he wants, or they get to do whatever it is. Honest to God, man.

Imagine being like that girl's father. I'd be fucking irate. And the transgender kid makes a crack in appropriate fucking cocky. I don't even know what to call it. Hey, girls, look at this. I'm going to use this to serve. I'd just look at the kid and say,

throwing your son looks like a fag to me. Then they'd throw me out of the PTA meeting. They want all the girls who feel uncomfortable, so pretty much 10 girls, to get changed in a single stall bathroom. Can you imagine what should take over 30 minutes, she says, where if one person got changed separately, it would take a minute, like no extra time, Allen said. Goddamn right. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.

In the email to parents, school officials say they are conducting an investigation. Oh yeah, I'm sure you got Sherlock Holmes and fucking, an investigation into allegations the girls harassed the transgenders. See, that's all you have to do. If you're transgender, you go, they were being anti-trans. Or if you're a black person and you start some shit, ah, they called me the N-word. That's why I put an X in there. That's what you do. Because the victim in this country gets more attention and more rights.

Randolph called principal Lisa Floyd said in an email that student safety was the district's top. Oh, here it is again. What did I say they always do? What's the excuse? Under the guise of safety and security. The TSA is there for your safety and your security. That's how it starts. And then they chip away at your civil rights under the guise of what's good for you. We're doing it for you.

Top priority. So the students priority top priority is safety for this and that when policies are violated disciplinary action consistent with the law will be taken what well that's a nice broad non-answer go home and hang yourself with that scarf once again another broad who couldn't get laid in a fucking Turkish prison. Vermont, why do we always go with a Turkish prison? I don't know. Vermont Agency of Education officials were not available for comment. Are they ever?

That's what we got. That's enough for today. I don't want to have a heart attack and a stroke on the same day. Don't forget to go to Cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative. I did a few over the weekend. Guy's birthday. He turned 40-something. That's all he wanted.

How cool is that? Hope the wife did something else. Anyhow, Cameo.com. Anything else? That's it. Yeah, check out my dates, too. November's going to be fun, though.

And somebody give me an update. Somebody will probably when they watch the show tonight. Give me an update on snappers. I might have to take a canoe to the stage. But I hope every... Seriously, I hope things work out down there. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome.

We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good rest of the day. guitar solo Outro Music