The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kamala Cackles at the Crisis | Nick Di Paolo Show #511

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

Kamala laughs when asked if she'll visit the border. Authorities identify Boulder shooter. Pelosi tries really, really hard to defend Biden.

Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching the show and I want to encourage you to keep contributing to keep this show and free speech free for everyone, whether they want to hear it or not. Click on this video or the link on the screen to make a contribution of any amount. I'll read your name on the show, but more importantly, you'll truly be supporting a great cause without Big Brother taking their cut or limiting the message. Thank you guys so much. Oh yeah. Hello, folks. Welcome to the big show on Tuesday.

How you doing? Depressing, isn't it, the news? Really, I mean, it's bad enough we have a phony administration that stole the election. Then you pile on mass shootings. I mean, we just had one in Atlanta. And, you know, now yesterday, Boulder, Colorado, horrible situation. Miami under attack by black spring breakers.

What do you mean, Nick? There's some white, yeah, yeah, okay. Show me the clips of where the violence is going on. We'll have a fucking, another discussion that we shouldn't be having anymore. But, you know, that's just how it goes. For the love of God,

help us. Help us. You know you want crazy motherfucking WAP, man. No, I don't say that at all. Oh, boy, is this great? Anyways, let's get to the sad shit out of Boulder.

And right before I came on, I read, oh, and they just shot, they were trying to ban assault rifles a couple days ago, and they voted it down, you know. So, again, my radar goes up, my paranoia. I'm almost too cynical to do this show anymore, you know. So again, my radar goes up, my paranoia. I'm almost too cynical to do this show anymore, you know. Oh, really? And then this happens. But, you know, you'd be a conspiracy theorist and a nut to think this might have been a

false flag situation. But I'm just throwing that out there. You guys can chew on it. The suspect in the Boulder King Supers shooting has been charged with 10 counts of first-degree murder, according to the police. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? Boulder Police Chief Maris Harrell identified the alleged gunman in Monday's massacre as Ahmad Al-Awi Alissa. They say he's 21. In what, cocaine years?

That guy's fucking 51 if he's a day old. Nice name, though, huh? I don't want to get racist there. About 20 miles south of Boulder, Colorado. Him and his friends do this. 20 miles south of Boulder, Colorado. Him and his friends do this. Allah is more! Allah is more! Allah is more!

Nick, there's no evidence that he's a Muslim. Okay, well, talk to me in a week and a half. Even then, with the media the way it is, you probably won't get the full story. And again, Fort Hood was a domestic, it was a, was it uh at work workplace shooting so um she also identified 10 slain victims who range in ages from 20 to 65 saying the last body was removed from the scene at 1 30 this morning uh she says i want to say to the community this is the police chief i am so sorry this incident happened uh with tears in her eyes And we are going to do everything in our power to make sure this suspect has a thorough trial. So do you think anybody gives a fuck if he has a thorough trial? Is that the time to bring it up?

I know you have to say that. We don't give a shit. 10 out of 10 Americans, if you polled him right now, would say, take him outside and put one on the back of his head. But you know what? I don't believe in that either, because then he would be released of his misery. And I want him to be in a cell with a bunch of white supremacists that supposedly exist.

According to Lockup, they focus on the three white guys in a prison. But anyway, it's going to be a thorough trial, and we do a thorough investigation. The hero cop killed was one of 10 people gunned down by a mass shooter yesterday at the supermarket. He's identified by law enforcement officials as veteran officer Eric Talley.

Talley, who had served in the Boulder Police Department since 2010, was one of the first offices to respond to the shooting at King's Superstore in the city. Harrell said Monday night in the press briefing, this guy's, you know, first guy shows up and you guys, you know, bad mouth cops, you know, but if you're in the supermarket, let's say you're a BLM person, would you be glad to see him? Fucking jerk off? Or you'd be applauding his death?

I don't even have that rhetorical question. The slain officer served in numerous roles after he joined the department, Harrell said. After his death was announced, a police procession was held in honor of Talley with throngs of officers lining the street in salute. Alyssa opened fire at Boulder, Colorado supermarket, according to the reports. Just a...

Danger, Will Robinson, danger. Law enforcement sources told ABC affiliate Denver 7 that 10 people killed in the shooting. Gunmen opened fire on officers when they arrived. Boulder police would not say exactly how many people died during a press conference, but we now know that it's 10. And what a shame.

What a goddamn shame for everybody except for the jerk officer. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. He's a hero. Alyssa, who was wounded, was taken into custody and was being treated for his injuries. Yamaguchi said she's a police.

No other survivors sustained serious injuries, he added. This is so goddamn. Now, there was a kid live streaming this, all right? And what is weird, you're going to see him. Imagine coming upon this scene. It really would have been horrible. But what kills me in this video, he goes to the front of the soup bar and there's a couple old guys just standing there one old guy is on his phone and this kid goes where's the shooter

and the old guy go all right i don't know connie he's over by produce do you get that jaded in life when you're that old you're like fuck it you know this would be a good time to go i'm tired of margaret um but what what what just this is disturbing i mean this body's laying like a goddamn war zone go ahead hey guys i don't know what's going on i'm at king supers in south boulder i heard gunshots they were very close um someone's down right here Something just happened here guys Someone's down I'm sure 911 Did we see which way the shooter went? No

Look there's people lying in the fucking street guys Unbelievable We need 911 here now We're at King Soopers in South Boulder Table Mesa We've got injured parties on the ground. 911 now,

people. We don't know if there's a shooter, active shooter somewhere. Look at this guy. Could be in the store. He's playing solitaire. He went in there. He went in the store. Oh my God.

Guys, we got people down inside Keek supers horrible look there's holy shit somebody's probably dying right there god damn it I'm fucking getting away guys away guys what's the world coming to there's a shooter active shooter get away get back can you fucking imagine he's different than me if i saw people getting out of a car heading towards the super and they had had a Biden sticker on their bumper, I'd be going, there's a sale on tomatoes,

if a fucking 50% off. No, I wouldn't do that. But can you goddamn believe that? You go to a super, that's what's creepy. It's an everyday thing. You go to the supermarket, your wife goes,

your husband, your father, your brother, your cousin, and they don't come home. Here's footage of the guy, I guess. Is this the suspect? Look, that's blood. I thought he had like a sock on.

That's blood. Not enough as far as i'm concerned you're a loser you'll always be a loser piece of shit can't wait to find out his background i looked up his name of course that's like goes back to some you know it traces back traces back to Muhammad and whatever the fuck. Not that that makes any difference, I know, but I just can't wait to hear what he has to say. Local police said on Twitter they were responding to a report of an active shooter at 2.30 p.m. local time.

And he didn't say shit when eyewitness told the Denver Post about the gun. He just came in and started uh shooting like the fucking idiot that he is ah the live stream also showed several people lying motionless on the ground outside this so just one inside its door did you hear those gunshots though when he was there that that was probably two more people sarah moonshadow told denver seven she was standing at the checkout lane when she heard gunshots and told her 21-year-old son to start running. I said, just run. Don't look. Just run,

Moonshadow recalled, adding that the gunman was definitely coming in our direction. The mom and son made it out safely before encountering a man laying out on the street and the mother. I started running towards him to try to help him, Moonshadow said, and my son grabbed me by my coat and said, no, we can't help him. We got to go. And thank God he did that. Another man told CBS News that his son-in-law and granddaughters were in the store when the shots broke out and that they hid inside a closet. They walked into the pharmacy for him to get a COVID-19 shot and the shooter came in, shot the woman in front of them. So they're never going to be right again mentally.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Harris. They hid and ran upstairs. They were hiding in a coat closet for the last time. Can you imagine the terror? Those are the people I think about too. I mean, when you get shot, you're gone. But the people, can you imagine being in that closet and listening to those guys

and not know if he's coming your way? You know what that means? Carry a gun everywhere. But no, the Dems are already spinning it. The leather nipple moron, Nancy Pelosi, is already spinning this. We have to take action. That's all I could read of the article, her saying that, and I couldn't read anymore. She could have been talking about

her lawn and weeds. I don't know. I just, she so disturbs me. He said police later came in through the roof and got them out safely. In the live stream, a SWAT team was also seen suiting up outside the store as officers stood behind police vehicles for cover. Cops were then seen

approaching the store with shields. Want to be a cop? Huh? Who are you going to call? Let's defund the police. Just one of those things. Wrong place, wrong time. But I guarantee you, I shouldn't say I guarantee you, you'll hear it come out. There's going to be some, they're going to dig into his social media. I guarantee, religious fanatic, I almost guarantee. And you know I'm right about 99% of the time. Or 55, either way, it's a podcast. I don't fucking hang your head on me. Anyways, let's blame Biden for that. Because if trump was in office he'd blame him so

you know what hey biden that's two shootings two mass killings under your watch you stupid fuck wake up i'm blaming him i'm treating him as bad as we treated trump they treated trump where were you dink taking a nap. I'm tired. Speaking of jerk-off Joe, who is not anybody's president, you can pretend on the left that he is the legitimate president, but you can kiss my grits. Sorry for the strong language. Progress defined by the Biden administration, these are my words, is Latinos staying in hotels, illegal ones, for free,

instead of having them clean the rooms, which... Jen Psaki squirms over question about illegal immigrants being put up in hotels after National Guard slept in parking garages. And, boy, she... All right, let's show this to you. The reporter's going to ask her about this. I'll do the voice in her head when she hears the question so you are opening up new facilities one of the options that's being reported over the weekend is spending 86 million dollars on hotel rooms for some migrants

and feeding them um how do you square that with the national guard troops who were sleeping in parking garages and, you know. In her head right now, she's going, fucking Biden. Could he make this job any more difficult? Is that what is that what actually is happening? I can't. Oh, I got to get back to lying. I got to come up with some bullshit fucking answer. I can't believe this cocksucker puts me in these positions every day.

How did Sarah Sanders do it with a crazy eye? I can't believe this cocksuck puts me in these positions every day. How did Sarah Sanders do it with that crazy eye? I can't. Look at her face. And I guarantee they don't show who's asking that. I guarantee it's either One America News or Newsmax or Fox. Somebody that still is a little bit insane in the media. Sane, I said. I didn't say.

But anyway, let's listen to the garbage answer she gives. Got sick from having contaminated food. National Guard was treated one way and then illegal immigrants are going to be put in hotel rooms. Well, first, let me say that at the time when we became aware of the conditions, National Guard troops were in in parking garages, as you noted. The president called the head of the National Guard that day and offered his assistance, offered to play any role that he could play, boosting morale, asking for more aid.

Yeah, but they were still in a garage is the point, you fucknut. Oh, we'll help them out, you know. What do you want us to do? We'll tell the cars not to park on top of them. They were still in a garage and you're putting illegals at the four seasons where they should be cleaning the rooms, not sleeping in them. Cause that's how my grandmother and every other immigrant that came here started. I don't want to hear your fucking sob stories.

Do you hear that? Ah, but he made the call that day when he found out. Boy, he was upset. Then he went back to doing some doodling. Go ahead. Making sure they had the right, were treated in the way that they deserved for the incredible role they've played. The administration has awarded $86 million contract to a Texas nonprofit organization to house over a thousand migrants in hotel rooms. What? You heard me. You heard me. 86 mil. The nonprofit organization Endeavors confirmed to the Washington Examiner that the Department of Homeland Security has contracted with Endeavors to provide critical services to migrant families. You guys remember this during this whole show. There's one theme. You are the last priority when it comes to the Dems, Libs. They can't stand us.

Seriously, they put illegals ahead of you. Remember that. I mean, they came out and said it when Joe was campaigning. They'll make better Americans than half the people living, remember? So just keep that in mind. The contract will reportedly last for six months, and funds will be

used to house 1,200 migrant families. Ugh. I don't like Jen Psaki. You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know? Oh, Jen Psaki.

Sake-hake. Ha-ha. Make me a a sandwich make me a fucking sandwich in our make me a sandwich segment tonight house speaker she's been there since 1811 this Hillary apologies you are actually a human being compared to this fucking mentally ill witch. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is making excuses for the Biden administration's failure to contain the ongoing humanitarian crisis on the United States southern border with claims that the situation, get this, in fucking quotes, in quotes, is under control. in quotes, in quotes, is under control. In her weekly Friday news conference at the Capitol, Pelosi expressed confidence in the Biden administration's handling of the uncontrolled surge of migrants, which puts the United States on the track to reach the highest ever recorded number of illegal immigration in 20 years, according to Department of Homeland Security. Pelosi praised Biden for approaching the migrants

in a humane way in comparison to former President Donald Trump and stressed that the transition is an ongoing. Listen to the garbage spilling out of her mouth. I really do. When she talks, I picture, this is what I picture. I used to have a septic tank at my house in West, and they would come up and they would put that tube in and suck it out. You could watch the shit just pouring out into the truck.

That's what I picture when she opens her dirty cake hole. Go ahead, you witch. Talk. I think that the administration is pulling this thing under control, and I think it's important to know that. The difference between the attitude toward the people and the children is so different. What happened in the past four years that Biden administration has this under control. It will take some time, but it is values-based,

humanitarian in its aspects, pragmatic in how to, with a plan to get things done. That's enough. Shut it off. Fucking die. Literally what she's saying, I know all politicians,

both sides are full of shit, but what she's saying, I know all politicians, both sides are full of shit, but what she is saying is so untrue. Like that commercial for that. There's a service out there when you go online to apply for a job and they find shit in your social media path and they can redo your image and help you. The guy goes, that is so false. Worst acting ever. What she says, do you understand, contradicts what's going on the very minute she's saying it

or the clips that they showed two seconds before that. Does anybody, how is she still in fucking power? I remember me and Dennis Miller 10 years ago going, she's batshit crazy. And we were 10 years late saying that. Under control? How fucking dare you? There's clips on the news last night on every station. Kids wrapped in tinfoil.

It's worse than it ever was under Trump. We have it under control. No, the illegal immigrants have you under Trump. We have it under control. No, the illegal immigrants have you under control. In recent weeks, Democrats have come under fire for their inability to control legal immigration at the border. It's all planned. Why are we so surprised with Republicans blaming them for undoing Trump's policies that successfully kept the encounters. You know what? Just sit back and enjoy because they are so overplaying their hand. And again, I'm going to say this

with the caveat that I always do as far as if we're not using Dominion machines in the midterms, we might have a chance of sweeping everything. This can't stand this radical. And it's not Biden. It's fucking AOC, Bernie,

all those jerk offs. You can tell their fingerprints are all over. On Tuesday, Biden's Homeland Security Secretary, Alejandro Mayorkas, stated that the United States is on track to see more encounters than it has over the last 20 years. You don't say, stupid. He described the surge as difficult. It's difficult.

I tried. I did the best I could. What about me? What am I supposed to do? He's supposed to fucking zine. It's funny. I don't have this on the show today, but Harris Faulkner was interviewing Trump over the phone. And she goes, we have breaking. Hold on, Mr. President. We have breaking news that

Mayorkas just resigned. And Trump goes, well, that's a victory for us. And then she goes, wait a minute. Right after he said that, it's almost like they were waiting for his response. And then she goes, oh, I'm sorry. No, he hasn't resigned. I'm sorry. I apologize. He hasn't resigned. Well, that was fucking weird. In Pelosi's speech, the Democrats dismissed Republicans' concerns and described it trips. When Republicans went to Texas in regular press conferences, they said that was a diversion. They did that as a diversion. Please, somebody fucking break that down for me. I hate this woman.

She's a malignant cunt. Oh, my God. I hope she gets lumps all over everything. Pelosi said that Congress plans to invest in El Salvador, Guatemala, in Honduras with your taxpayer money to improve the lives of migrants who depart their homes. Meanwhile, we have homeless people all over LA, all over the country. And we're worried about people in El Salvador. We'll pay them off and they won't come here. You could send a zillion trillion dollars a day, it's still going to be a shithole. You fucking wrinkle neck pig face. Nick, calm down. So we're going to send money to Honduras and pride the lives of migrants who depart their

shitholes for better lives here in the United States. I got a better idea. And again, you don't want to use lethal force. Fire hoses. You know the ones the Israelis use? They knock people 30 feet in the air. It's a truck. It's not a fire hose.

You know what I'm talking about that goes like this? Why aren't those being used during riots and BLM marches? And oh, the optics are bad. It looked like 955. Exactly my favorite time. Something was itching my ass. Yes, it will take some resources, a small price to pay for people to stay home, Pelosi, that ignorant whore said. Will you shut up?

Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up! Shut up! It's a humane approach. It's a humane approach. Not like the last administration.

If I keep referring to Trump, maybe you'll be, you know, misdirected and not see what a butcher job we're doing. But it's humane approach. We wrap the kids in tinfoil. We wrap them in tin. Have you ever taken leftovers and wrapped them in tinfoil? They are fresh when you take them out.

Not like Trump. He'd leave food on the counter to rot. Maybe I can distract you with my 300-year-old bony fingers. Ugh, please get a lump in your armpit the size of a grapefruit. Good night, everybody. Enjoy the show. Ah, here's my headline. I write little headlines before the actual headline like this says, VP is a real DB. I was proud of that one. Cackling whore, Kamala. Somebody asked her, is this the border one?

They asked our vice president if she was going to go to the border anytime soon. And this is what libs do when they're nervous. They give this nervous. She knows she's in over her head and she's giddy. You know why she's giddy? She knows she's going to be the president. That's why she's always happy and in a good mood and giggling. Even if you said, you know, your daughter died today.

Really? She knows she's going to be the first female president. You can bet my left nut on that, and that one's really the bigger of the two. Good night, everybody. Take a look at her response when her reporter says, are you going to go to the border soon? Do you plan to visit the border?

Not today. But I have before, and i'm sure i will again you're fucking crazy kids are being raped by cartel, kids are being molested and sold into, you know, sex, I'll get there sometime, I gotta help Joe with this thing over here, we gotta lie about this shit first, I'll get to the, you don't fucking laugh, and you get, folks, I love laughter, I mean, I love inappropriate laughter, unless's just come out of her. Are you going to go to the border soon? Because, you know, little kids that die. So do you know five of them like drowned yesterday crossing?

I heard that one. I heard they drowned. Whoa. Look at her. She's holding that like the big black hawk she sucked to get into fucking politics in the first place you don't hear hannity saying that do you anyways why is nobody sending money back to the show everybody kamala harris does not salute the military when she arrives oh this is the next story i'm sorry we have a double dose of the dc uh she does not

salute the military when she arrives or steps off air force two unlike her predecessors have done for the last fucking 200 and something years because you know what deep down she hates the country she's a person of color and she realizes this is the problem with the planet democracy founded by white fellas who raised the standard of living for everybody on the planet did more and nobody's ever going to do more than what they did and she hates it it wasn't her people it wasn't the jamaicans it wasn't the indians whatever other fucking mutt she is um watch her just diss the guys you're supposed to salute them maybe she doesn't even know she's so goddamn ignorant go ahead

probably farts right there well she is gonna be president she made it all the way up you fucking whore yeah that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Wow. Not even an acknowledgement. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Like that's when he comes. He's cunt. Say that true, but he'll tell you you're a motherfucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

Motherfucking cunt. Woohoo! Diddle-a-diddle-ay-did,diddle-a-diddle-a-diddle. Luck of some booty. I'm starting to hate her. Excuse me, Doc. I don't mean to break up the meeting or anything, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she? How do you mean?

Well, she likes her rigged game. Please give me a call. Oh, I will. You keep it up, Timmy. Let's stay on the Biden administration and our fake vice president with nice balloons. Illegal immigrants. Remember what I just told you people, right? That you come last.

And I mean it. If you're a U.S. citizen born in this country, you are last on the list of priorities of helping people. Just keep that in mind. Illegal immigrants to receive, here's some more evidence, $4.38 billion in stimulus checks. As Americans, did I say illegal immigrants? I did, didn't I? I said illegal. Did I not? Illegals. Oh, my God. I got a new favorite sound effect. Did I not? Illegals. Oh my God, I got a new favorite sound effect. As Americans start to receive the latest round of stimulus checks,

a new analysis reveals that about 4.38 billion will also go to illegal immigrants who deserve absolutely aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye Immigrants who deserve absolutely. Aye, aye, aye, aye. I got a ton of money. I do nothing for it. I sit on my ass.

Every once in a while, I'll cut a white person's ass. Aye. Yeah, I made that up. Call me Jeff Dunham in Goober. Anyway, the Center for Immigration Studies, I worked there, they kicked me out for doing the Chinese eyes things behind it. Center for Immigration Studies estimates

that 2.65 million illegal immigrants have social security numbers that allow them to receive stimulus checks. This group of illegal immigrants can be described as aliens temporarily present without status. According to Stephen Camerata, director of research for the Center for Immigration Studies, he says these individuals are in the country illegally and could be required to leave. Yet under the current system, they are still given work authorization and social security

numbers. He said, son of a whore. security numbers he said son of a whore let that sink in people of black and brown people who are trying to get jobs and who are you know born here or if you're um from another country you became a a citizen and you did it the right way they are poor letting these people pour in for cheap labor and you're gonna have to be fighting with them. You're going to have to outdo some guy from Guatemala who will paint, you know, whatever, pick grapes for three cents a week. But, you know, that's just the economy and shit, you know.

They include deferred action for childhood arrivals. Remember what that was? DACA, as we say in Boston. DACA, a fucking, that guy's a DACA specialist. They included deferred action for child arrivals and temporary protected status recipients. In addition, U.S. citizenship and immigration services issued, get this, 882,000 work authorizations and social security numbers to other illegal immigrants in the fiscal year 2020, the analysis states. And let's be clear, folks, this isn't just the Democrats and the left. This is where they're

both fucking cutting the heart out of our country because it's about cheap fucking labor. And all those jerk offs are about cheap labor. All the lobbyists own these fucks. And you know how it goes. You go to a million times. These include asylum applicants, as well as those applying for adjustment of status and suspension of deportation among other. They make up a thousand different categories. So you don't have to be deported. Meanwhile, your taxpayer money, you guys, us guys, we get up every day, go to work and shit, kind of.

And you bust your ass, right? Seriously. And you do the right thing. And it's been like this forever. The middle class, the people who don't commit crimes, get up, do the right thing, have families, go to work, go to church, good people, and you're taking it in the ass. We know the super rich don't pay taxes, right? The fucking illegal immigrants don't have to do anything. They're

getting free help all on your dime. Is it not time to have a real insurrection? One, like I said, you don't come out with a nameplate. You come out with Pelosi's tips on a nice silver platter. Adam Schiff's head is kicked out the door. Not included in the numbers are the 1.8 million illegal immigrants that the social security administration has estimated use social security numbers that don't match their names you know democrat voters according to camarada another 600 000 have social security numbers from when they were legally in the country but overstayed their visas all right get up yeah you know isn't that what the 9-11 hijackers did if i'm not mistaken we haven't fixed that either what a sham of a country

it's over call it a day no reason to pretend it It's Johnny Mathis. I used to do Mathis. Johnny Mathis. I used to do him so good. Yes, it's over. Call it a day. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

No reason to pretend. Let's not fucking try again. Yes, it's over. It's over. By the way, I watched American Idol last night. I have never, folks, I know you must laugh at me when I say this. I fucking love the show for a million different reasons. I'm not, am I going to go out and buy their albums when they make it? No. The songs they sing when they're doing other people, do I know the song? No, I'm fucking in my late hundreds. I have no idea what the, but these 15 year old kids come out and fucking light it up. Like I have no, they play guitar. Like they were in the womb working on this shit. I can't even get the fucking C chord down. There's a hillbilly kid

from fucking Missouri. He grew up on a farm. I'm talking big pumpkin head, baby face. He talks like he's a 60 year old Southerner and he's not putting on an act even what's his name uh oh my god help me lano richie goes that kid's a martian like tom brady they say brady's a mark this kid just naturally oh yeah yeah and a black and a white girl there's a white girl biggest butt i've ever seen but that only to suit her if she gets into R&B. With the most unbelievable voice. And they matched her up with, why am I doing this? You guys probably don't want to hear.

But they matched her up, and boys, race and shit. They matched her up with a black girl who I think might win the whole fucking thing. And I have never, the three fucking judges, boy do I sound old right now. They gave him a standing ovation. I say you shut the show off right now. If I was a judge go fuck it no one's gonna beat that yeah have back your money abc but uh i i just i can't believe the poise on these kids is that what happens when you like grow up with the internet i guess you're a performer i don't know anyways back to the shitty news uh There is simply no question that millions of illegal immigrants will be on American Idol and go to the front of the...

No. Illegal immigrants will receive billions of dollars in COVID relief checks, Camerota said. This highlights an even more disturbing fact. Illegal immigrants are being issued, get this, social security numbers in large numbers. Do you guys get what's going on here do you understand that the democrats are doing just what they said we're going to open the floodgates and we're going to make these guys americans by just handing them social security now do you understand what's going on you're watching it uh this is a clear indication the guy says that

america is simply not serious about enforcing its immigration laws. He is so right there. The politicians are all in the pockets of the lobbyists. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. I do. Asylum seekers are routinely given work authorization while they wait for their case to be adjudicated, regardless of the merit of the application. While almost 90% of those who claim credible fear when presenting themselves at the border, you know, they're coming from violent places, passed the initial screening, less than 20% are ultimately granted asylum relief by an immigration judge uh for central americans that number is less than 10 in other words they're not even coming from bad situations right am i reading

that right it's all about the democrats want control of this country for the i don't care i'm if i'm lucky i'll be here 20 years from now the way i cook and i eat i don't know i you know i'm saying it's two in the morning i'm making tiramisu there's something wrong with me Lucky I'll be here 20 years from now. The way I cook and I eat, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? It's 2 in the morning. I'm making tiramisu. There's something wrong with me. I'm gay or just a pig?

I don't know. Maybe both. Pizza last night. Oh, my God. During the last border. By the way, we were redoing our kitchen and we got the prices in to do everything that I wanted in the kitchen, 100 grand. I said to my wife, I'm not even putting 50 grand she goes you're gonna have a shitty kitchen I said I'll eat in the fucking backyard out of the dog's bowl before I pay 40 grand for cabinets my car's not worth that much and a car brings you places a cabinet is something you put a dish in

during the last border sir I'm gonna make my own cabinets it'll be hilarious I've never made anything in my life I'm gonna take milk crates like you did in college and just glue them together during the last border surge in 2019 the southern border became so overwhelmed that most illegal aliens didn't even claim credible fear knowing they'd still be released expeditiously into the united states imagine they know the system so well they don't even bother saying yeah we're coming from a hellhole. They walk in in tuxedos and top hats and they go, how are you? I'm well to do, but I still want to live here.

Especially if they were accompanied by a child. Only about 25 percent of illegal border crossers were claiming credible fear, according to Kevin McAleenan, acting secretary, Department of Homeland Security. That was July 12th, 2019. In Yuma, Arizona, get this, less than 10% made the claim. Then-Sector Chief Anthony Provozhenik said on April 17th, only less than 10% said they were, you know. And meanwhile, you put on the news, and all you hear is Pelosi and the Dems going, they're coming from hell holes.

These are legitimate asylum seekers. They're coming here for a better life. Just like your grandparents. My grandparents came here. There was no social security program. There was no fucking welfare programs to jump on. You know, there was nothing. There's the difference.

They wanted to be Americans and they had to make something themselves. That's right. Take the incentive of work away from people. First of all, we have nothing in common. Most of them don't speak English, and they're going to throw them in your kids' schools. Crime is going to—we've already been over this shit a thousand times. Where is Mussolini when you need him?

I'm serious. Maybe not as stringent as him. I want a—we've had this discussion to a benign dictator like rudy giuliani would be perfect i love him it's my favorite anyways back to the show although trump you know the left dudes will say what do you talk about trump is a mussolini figure into that i say why don't you lick my tank do you fucking faint evanston illinois i'm gonna give you a trigger warning on this because i put my fist through my shitty kitchen wall since i know we're going to replace it someday.

Everston, Illinois approves nation's first reparations for black residents. Did you hear what I said? Reparations for black residents in Everston, Illinois. This is hilarious to me because it's never going to come to fruition and if it does the civil war well we've been talking about it for years it'll be kicked off in eight minutes if this if this type of shit local leaders eye marijuana dispensaries as an attractive source of revenue to reverse what they call ongoing impact of institutional racists.

It's kind of ironic, right? Are you going to do reparations for black people? And you're going to do it through weed sales, which they're already doing. I have an itch how you guys all right anyway so they're going to do that uh through weed sales to reverse what they call ongoing impact of institutional it doesn't say racism it says racist i think it means racism and persisting effects of slavery yeah let's keep hanging our hat on that hook. You know, there's not even people, great, great grandparents alive that went through slavery or somebody said that.

So you're not going to get nothing. The fund will be capped at 10 million, according to city of Evanston. City estimates project the marijuana tax could generate a half million to $750,000 per year. The specific measure approved Monday in an eight to one vote establishes a $400,000 housing grant program. The first expenditure of the large fund, the resolution. The resolution approved Monday directs initial funding of the $400,000 from the city's local reparations fund to a housing program that will award eligible individuals up to $25,000. That money can be used to help with a home down payment or closing cost assistance or REMS for an SUV or 300 pair of Air Jordans, said me, within the city, help pay for repairs, improvements, or modernization of Evanston property,

or help pay down mortgage principles, interest, or late penalties. You know, the same thing white people's pay. On Evanston property, according to a memo from Kimberly Douche Richardson, interim assistant city manager. And I say to reparations, you're entitled to shit.

Amen. Amen. manager and I say to reparations, you're entitled to shit. Amen. To qualify an applicant must have origins in any of the black racial and ethnic groups of Africa. Oh, that rolls me out. Well, wait a minute now. The black Arabs, the Moors raped my people. So I think I'm in for a cut. Who's with me? Anybody? Yes, I have black blood in me. Patrice said it. Keith Robinson said it. These are real black guys told me that. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word. I do. You're looking right at one. Now look at here. Now look at here.

According to the memo, applicants must also be a black resident of Evanston between 1919. Why are you only going back that far? In 1969. Or that person's direct descendant. Yeah, this will be easy to figure out, huh? Applicants also qualify if they experience housing discrimination due to the city's policies or practices after 1969. You know how many people are going to claim that? Do you understand this is about lawyers getting rich like everything fucking else?

People, black people claiming they were discriminated against since 1969? Are you kidding me? Is it because we're black? Exactly. Evanston is one of the most liberal towns in the nation, you don't say. It's also hometown

to Northwestern University and was once an important center of the temperance movement, which my parents had put me through. I don't even know what that is. He's got a horrible temper. He hit another kid in the playground today at recess with his Tarzan lunchbox.

Open in the air. True story. Look. Did I tell you at a time when I was in second grade and I was following my buddy Scott Pike into the schoolhouse? And the schoolhouse had those doors that were like this thick. They weighed about 300 pounds each. And I reached for it. I was behind. And he pulled for it. I was behind.

And he pulled it shut. And fucking crunch. I pull it out. And the nail was already black before I even got it out. And the finger. And, you know, it was mincemeat. I was crying. Yeah, I was a bitch.

But I go to a doctor. And here's the funny part. This is what they did back. I don't know how they'd handle it today. Doctor's like, oh, that's no problem. You to a doctor and here's the funny part. This is what they did back. I don't know how they'd handle it today. Doctor's like, oh, that's no problem. You get a lot of buildup out of there. He punches my nail, my fingernail with like a, almost a little hammer.

Fucking squirt it to the ceiling. Little story for you. Anyways, my dad grabbed the doctor by the neck and fucking snapped it, and we ran out of the house. Bye. Cops say bye to wife. This is my headline. This cop divorces his wife because she was part of the January 6th,

I call it the fake insurrection. A police detective in Pennsylvania has filed for divorce from his wife after she was seen in a video taking part in the riots at the U.S. Capitol with another man whom she had been communicating with since November about the protest. Michael Heinl, a 30-year member of the Shala Township Police Department, filed the papers. Boy, she's kind of cute. That's got to be a tough one. File the papers. Boy, she's kind of cute.

That's got to be a tough one. An Allegheny County Court of Common pleas last month after he asked his wife, Jennifer Marie Heinel, not to travel to the nation's capital on January 6th. But she did anyway. Good for you, pal. Tell her to kiss your grits. Police Chief Sean Frank said, what did he say about her? A, she was a hooah. Oh, he did not? A, she was a hooah. Oh, he did not. B, she was a hooah.

No. Jennifer, 55, is now facing several federal charges, including violent entry and disorderly contact on Capitol grounds and parading, demonstrating, or picketing in a Capitol building. Oh, boy, you. See, the problem was she was with another guy who she was communicating with. That don't look good. No matter what I do, no matter who I fight,

I got these little girl hands. So what? I'm never going to fight Joe Louis. I'm never going to fight the best. What the fuck? He's a heavyweight. You're a middleweight. Who gives a shit?

Little girl's hands showing. No matter what I do, no matter who I fight. That's me and Jason's favorite raging bull. The FBI identified through her association with Kenneth Grayson. That's that fellow there. He's smart. He kept his mask on. She's pretty, but she's a little bit of a hula. I

guarantee the husband wasn't, you know, providing zing zing zangler. Are you defending the woman? Yeah, because, you know, we peak at 18 guys sexually. I didn't make that up. Imagine that at 19, you're already going downhill. Uh, who was seen in videos talking to Jennifer, that's Grayson inside the rotunda. Last time I caught a guy in my wife's rot Jennifer, that's Grayson, inside the rotunda. Last time I caught a guy in my wife's rotunda, I'll tell you. It was the silliest thing I've ever heard. How are you, ma'am? Now I'm doing groucho.

How you doing, ma'am? What's your name? Marie Filla. Maria, are you married yet? Yes, I am. Do you have kids? Yeah, I have 12 kids. Wow, that's a lot of kids.

Well, I love my husband. I love my cigar, but I take it out once in a while. Grayson was arrested in Pennsylvania on January 26th. The cop must have been laughing because he knows that the feds got information on anybody. If you farted that day within 10 miles of the Capitol, they have your records. And charged in connection with the insurrection. A review of his Facebook page revealed communications between the two of them from November 12th of 2020 through January 11th. The discussions were about traveling to D.C. and renting vehicles in hotel rooms. Plural, please.

Please, Negro, please. I don't know that this happened. She says it didn't. The chief said Michael, a member of the FBI Pittsburgh Office's Violent Crimes Task Force, informed him after the riots that his wife had been there. His wife was part of that situation, Frank said. He didn't condone it. He didn't ask her to go there. He wasn't there. He was here working. He said it was likely the detective was unaware that his wife had gone inside the building. She's an adult,

and I don't think he had any part of her going in there, Frank said. Jennifer told the feds that she traveled alone to the Capitol on January 5th and came home to Pittsburgh the following day, according to an affidavit cited by the Post-Gazette. She told the FBI she had stayed in a courtyard hotel and Sean Hannity was a butler. And they were having, they were eating all kinds of, you know, what do you call it? Remember the thing about the courtyards the dams are saying yeah that's a trump supporters they stay in court and they love uh all of god uh he stayed in the court she stayed in a courtyard hotel but that was it not the same hotel where grayson uh stayed

according to her i don't know i don't know no we don't know don't't say that. She admitted she saw Grayson at the rally, but denied entering the Capitol that day. And then I denied having a gray shirt on with a black tie today. Wah, wah, wah. You need a manager, Rock. You need a manager. Cauliflower. I knocked out a heavyweight that night. Who do they that's right they remember you know why he's a better fighter and i had a manager you need a manager finally tonight on my ass is sweating white house press secretary jen saki on monday said that

president biden maintains regular communication with Barack Obama on a number of, is that news? You all realize this is Obama's third term, right? You all realize he's the devil under that fucking smile. You all realize he was raised around Marxist. You all realize that, don't you? You all realize that he actually spied on trump and all that you realize he is the devil wouldn't mind hanging out with him though i'm playing hoops or something i have fantasies about him going in for a layup and i submarine him and he fucking breaks his neck and he's has to use it blow into a straw to move around the rest of us you know like biden does now sacky was asked by a reporter whether ob Obama had visited the White House and how often the two speak,

to which she responded that Obama and Biden have a relationship that's purely sexual. What? That is not defined as president and vice president. Instead, they are friends. So Obama's whispering into his ear, telling him what to do, right? Why would you want to listen to him who gives a fuck what you think that was biden he's getting grouchy they consult and talk about a range of issues excuse me and i would expect that continues because he can't do it on his own

through the course of president biden's presidency saki said uh that can be done over the phone it turns out and i think if president obama had been here, you would all know that. I don't think so. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. Hello, Joe. How are you?

Psaki declined to give an exact number of times that the powerful pair had spoken, but said they keep in regular touch and their respective teams also in regular touch. But a range, a range of issues. And every time they talked to Joe, he'd say, what are we doing? I don't know what's going on right now. That's why he says we, it's him and Obama. Psaki added that given Obama's work on the Affordable Care Act, which Biden has committed to strengthening and expanding because it works so well, that is one issue they will talk about. No kidding. She pointed questions as to what else Obama

would specifically be involved with his team. Biden has tapped a number of individuals, I guess you guys might not know, who previously served in the Obama administration to join his team. They listed like 20 people. I said, fuck it, including Chief of Staff Ron Klain. There's a million more.

Blankly. Whatever he the fuck is. Secretary of State. I don't even know what he is. Despite the longstanding friendship. Obama drew interest from the media. After he waited until late in the campaign cycle. To formally endorse Biden.

Which means what? His heart was not in it. Meanwhile. Biden drew criticism throughout the campaign from Democratic contenders who accused him of running Obama's legacy, of ruining, of running. Is that ruining or running? Running on, I'm sorry, my eyes are getting tired. That's an edit, by the way, Jason.

Remember during the debates, they were accusing Biden of running on Obama's legacy. During one 2019 debate, for example, I'll refresh your memory. Julian Castro, big girl in my opinion, who served as Obama's housing secretary, he used to decorate houses, said Biden wanted to take credit

for the Obama administration's victories. Do you remember this? And he wasn't the first one to point this out, but here you go. My problem with Vice President Biden, and Corey pointed this out last time, is every time something good about Barack Obama comes up, he says, oh, I was there, I was there, I was there.

That's me too. And then every time somebody questions part of the administration that we were both part of, he says, well, that was the president. I mean, he wants to take credit for Obama's work, but not have to answer to any questions. You snotty little bastard. Yeah. You know what? It worked because it was all in the bag anyways. How stupid do you people feel up there debating a guy who was already in the bag for it was already decided. And that's silly. Don't know if i'm ever going to watch a debate

again oh then we got uh this was the funniest endorsement ever because again he waited till the last minute which means he didn't want to fucking somebody had a gun up his ass probably illuminati i don't know you guys can take a guess but uh his dummy himself the best marcus in the history of the united states and that's why i'm so proud to endorse joe biden for president of the united states choosing joe to be my vice president was one of the best decisions i ever made and he became a close friend and i believe joe has all the qualities we need in a president right now he's someone whose own life has taught him how to persevere. How to bounce back when you've been knocked down.

Oh, you fall down a set of stairs. Who said that? Fucking Obama did. Who the fuck said that? Obama did it. Who's this slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? President, former president,ack hussein obama because he believes in me

this is biden singing to him i never know just what he sees in me but i told him someday if he'd be my bitch we could make this way with my little songs i was wrong look at those two cheese eaters so um you know so apparently he still has biden's ear now does it make more sense to you people how radical, why the thing is radical? And you don't think he talks to fucking AOC and the rest of the puppeteers, huh? But you really think he believed in Joe? I mean, we have quotes I'll show you in a second. Are you interested in the real story? I am.

Obama's endorsement of Biden. Here's some, here's some things. I believe Joe has all the qualities we need in a president right now, and I know he will surround himself with good people. That's considered an endorsement. In other words, he don't know what he's doing, but we've got enough people. And then he also has the coup de grace. Coup de grace, I should say.

Coup de grace. What is that, a Chevy? One Democrat who spoke to Obama recalled the former president warning, this is Obama talking about Biden. And this is a direct quote from Obama. Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up. This is right before the election. Anyhow, that's enough for today, folks.

I'm teppaged. Don't forget thecomicgym.com. Please, I implore you to move your stuff over there and tell all your friends that's where the show's gonna be we're fighting back from a real kick on the nuts from youtube not being on the show being on there so uh cameo.com i did three this morning if you want me to roast one of your friends or you know about a minute and a half cutting somebody to ribbons whether it's a guy girl girl, relative, mom, dad, uncle, sister, bad neighbor, good neighbor, ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, go to camu.com, click on my profile, tell me a little bit about the

person. I will make a video on my phone, send it right to the Mama Luke's, all right? Anything else? Comics Gym, nickd is, uh, my tour dates and, I'll be getting out there eventually. You know, it's different, man. COVID still has a little effect here and there. That is it.

You guys think, and I will say you're very welcome. Um, we'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day. We'll be right back. guitar solo We'll see you next time.