The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kamala The Copycat | Nick Di Paolo Show #1638
Episode Date: October 15, 2024In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Copycat Kamala, Anti-woke U, Jet fuel and much more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Ste...ven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX: https://www.nickdip.com/tour For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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Oh. I'm running through a motherfucker face.
That was Marshawn Lynch, English major at University of California, Berkeley.
Boy, do we love our thugs.
This country is so unracist, it's hilarious.
Do you understand that guy would be sweeping streets,
if not dead or in prison,
if he would have grown up in any other country?
Do you understand that, people on the left?
Apparently you don't.
Same with fucking Snoop.
It's good to see they're giving him some commercials.
Finally give him a shot.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What is it about you people,
and it's West Coast stupid again,
that you're just so entranced and afraid and,
and I fucking actually like Snoop,
and I like Marshawn Lynch, but I take them for what they are.
I don't make them into fucking, only gang members
can have sponsorships and commercials.
Show me a white guy with fucking either one of those guys' background
and tell me they're gonna get a commercial.
Suck my ass!
I'm sure you can think of one.
Take your time.
Eminem.
He ain't got no record.
What did he do?
What did he do? Litter? Loiter?
Loiter and litter at the same time? I mean he was a shitty dad and stuff.
Talented as a motherfuck. I remember Chris Rock coming in when I was writing for Chris
Rock. He comes into work. He goes, man, the fucking world is fucked up. I'm like, what
do you mean? He goes, right now the best rapper in the world is white and the best golfer
in the world is black. It was right at the height of it.
Fucking right on the money, man.
It's the beauty of this country.
Maybe the left could see that someday.
They are so panicking, folks.
If I read one more headline where it's neck and neck or they're tied, again, I'm going
to tell you it again.
I don't care if I said it a thousand times.
They're doing that to soften the blow when the left steals it and they go
What do you mean? We stole it. It was neck-and-neck right to the that way won't look so obvious
That's why they're telling you it's neck-and-neck. You're never gonna convince me ever those fuckers numbers are as fake
Fox puts up like and this must be right-wing media. They put up these fucking
poll numbers
50 times a day every show show, twice an hour, neck
and neck in Pennsylvania, she's ahead in this NBC poll.
Bullshit!
I don't want to live in this country if we're that shallow and fucking stoop.
I just, anyways, they're softening the blow so it won't look so obvious if they steal
it.
I still, call me a detective I still think
they're gonna try to steal it cuz oh I don't know they try to kill Trump twice
shit like that you know. It wasn't us it was the Iranian sucker bag of fucking
hummus you suckin' fucks. Excuse my French folks I got a filthy mouth but
blame my mother she was a pirate. Anyhow hey oh I interesting exchange on X I get on
there this morning and I see oh oh and Benjamin I always want to say Benjamin
Owen again two first names oh and Benjamin who I I I gotta be honest I
like him but he fucking when he I guess
he wanted to be on the show Dallas read me an email a couple weeks ago right
before I had a three-city tour going and said he wanted to be on the show I
didn't hear I don't think you told me about this bet right you just said he
wanted to be on I don't know I you might have but I may not have heard it all I
heard he wanted to do the show all as I Know I was leaving for the biggest trip of my year
And I just said nope. I didn't mean nope cuz so I get on X today
DePaul is an old greasy coward. He'll be wearing a pussy hat soon
So oh and yeah, I took the base
If that and I know that's what you were doing you're like, he's a hot-headed guinea So, Owen, yeah, I took the bait.
And I know that's what you were doing.
You're like, he's a hot-headed guinea.
And I know you're very savvy because you play these high school games.
You guys, you and those guys you fight with are like high school girls on the fucking
internet.
Ooh, see Diane's tits, they're fake.
Whatever the fuck.
But I didn't know you were promoting a special and I would
have fucking you know and if I wasn't going on that fucking trip or I didn't
think I was too busy I would have said fucking yes but now you go out and unload
on me like I'm afraid of you. How are you gonna hurt my fucking career? And you
keep telling me like you keep putting out there like I'm a sellout for what I'm on. I'm on a fucking podcast
That reaches millions not mine fucking crowd is network
And he does shit like his show goes under cover
Like they expose that guy who planned the lockdown in New York City and was actually having sex parties
And and and stories like that national breaking stories the trans kid that shut up the school in Tennessee,
they were the first ones to get a hold of his fucking manifesto and shit.
So how am I, how am I like pro-establishment, stop this silly shit.
Anyways, I reached out to Owen and I hope he can get it. We'll interview him today and air it whenever.
Because I like people who stir the fucking pot but don't get all
don't get all tough guy on me when you live in the middle of fucking nowhere and
you know you're not gonna run into me at a fucking comedy club festival or some shit.
Because I'm as mental as you sometimes and yeah
I know I'm too old for that shit. You'd be surprised. Anyways
let's get on with this fucking show
Copycat Kamala. What's that about? Vice President Kamala Harris is facing allegations of plagiarism after numerous passages
See, she really did listen to Joe Biden. It's the only thing they have in common. He goes, let me show you how to do this
You take some silly putty
and you
Remember that you put it on the newspaper
and you lift it up and you put it over here. Pretty good Biden, huh? Yeah.
Allegations of plagiarism after numerous passages from the Democratic presidential nominees
2009 book, Smart on Crime, I take the word smart, me and my Waldo, were discovered to closely resemble or perfectly match
wording from other sources. That doesn't sound like her. A liar, liar whore, liar whore, and you know it.
Harris then, San Francisco's district attorney at the time, wrote the book promoting a
reform-minded approach to prosecuting crimes alongside ghost writer Joan O.C. Hamilton. What is
she, original gangster? Excuse me, cigarettes, I had a few after I read all
that shit that Owen wrote about. Who told the Post when contacted Monday
Net that she was surprised to learn about the alleged copying.
Conservative activist Christopher Ruffo, I thought he was like an Asian kid, published the allegations Monday
and credited an investigation by Austrian, get some fucking Austrian, calls himself the plagiarism hunter,
Stefan Weber, with Ruffo posting screenshots on X of five examples in which the wording
in the book, Kamala's book, closely resembles other sources.
The five side-by-side passages indicate that Harris may have lifted wording from an Associated
Press article.
What do you mean, May?
We're looking at it.
From 2008, a Wikipedia article as drafted in 2008, a Bureau of Justice Assistance
Report from 2000, an Urban Institute Report from 2004, and an 8-year-old girl in art class.
Good night everybody. And a John Jay College of Criminal Justice, that's Northeastern University
by the way. Oh, for the love of Christ, leave me alone. So popular. With a 12 year old Chinese boy.
College of Criminal Justice press release describing a 2007 award.
She really is.
In at least two of the instances, the source of the original verbiage is cited in footnotes.
However, quotation marks are not around the apparently copied words, and
in other instances, she'll just go, I forgot, I'm not good with punctuation.
Instances, passages appear to be wholly uncredited, such as the Urban Institute report.
You're stealing from black people, and you're black yourself.
You should be disgusted.
I don't mind you shoplifting some Advil with the CVS and shit, but you don't steal intellectual property in
This case you do you retard you got a neck like the scarecrow by the way, was it a boss?
What do you think of that? So she plagiarizes just like Joe Biden did his whole career. They have nothing
She's an empty suit and empty pants. So she's got nothing
She can't speak without a teleprompter and I guess she's gonna sit down with Brett Baer. Is it tonight or tomorrow? Brett Baer of Fox News, which
is hilarious. This could be, this could be. He's a very fair guy and that's why she probably
picked it.
Yeah, but hopefully not too fair or gentle. He needs to go after it because nobody else
is. fair or gentle he needs to go after because nobody else is yes I well no just him being gentle will be
a humiliating to her compared what you know
I'm sure he'll be a little tougher than Joy Behar was
or MSNBC or the Girl Scouts in Denver
whatever the fuck Howard Stern oh Howard what did you do
what did you do he What did you do?
He was so good to me and now I don't know. These people on the left that have morphed into everything they've always hated. It's so fun to watch.
Just out of their hatred of Trump. I used to laugh at that that they call the Trump deranged. It is deranged thinking.
Think about how much they hate him. Is any of it rational at all?
Any of it?
It makes sense though, because they're Marxists.
I'll say it again.
It's not, you keep calling, we keep treating them like they're a legitimate political party.
They're fucking the enemy of this country.
So it should be no surprise to you.
So start voting like it.
Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and sign up with promo code MOVE. price to you so start voting like it. Let's move on.
Anti-woke university.
A new university in Texas that touts a fearless pursuit of the truth is attracting significant
financial backing from billionaires frustrated
with elite colleges.
The university, get this, of all the cities, Austin, Texas, they call it UATX, which welcomed
its first class of 92 students.
Wow, that says everybody's for the truth, doesn't it?
92?
Excuse me? 92? Excuse me?
92? We should enroll.
Enroll? I already fucking... They said I can return puns next year.
They're playing the lying community college
from Brooklyn. Yeah, its first 92 students last month has already
raised approximately 157 mil, so we can't joke about them that much. What kind of fucking
money do these guys have? I think I'll start a college and buy a football team
this week. UATX's mission described as the fearless pursuit of the truth. I think
MSNBC says that too. Aims to encourage ideological diversity.
Why do you even put the word diversity in there?
And I know you're using it in the right context this time.
Don't even use it.
Just say differences.
A metacritic achievement.
In other words, we're going to base it on your abilities
and your fucking actual resume and what you've done.
Merit. The school's curriculum blends classical texts
with a focus on gender studies in black things.
101.
No, a focus on entrepreneurship,
contrasting with what some donors perceive
as an overwhelmingly progressive stance at prestigious universities.
Do you think?
I think we have one of the deans of the new college.
Then as of this moment, they're on double secret probation.
That guy means business.
Harlan Crowe, you can just tell he's rich, can't you?
He looks like Glenn Beck with AIDS
Whole harlem crow a major GOP donut was an early backer of uatx Thank see all the old white guys they're gonna be gone in a few years, so you better do this shit now crow said
Much of our higher ed today seems to want to reject Western
Much of our higher ed today seems to want to reject Weston accomplishments and the accomplishments of Weston civilizations in their entirety.
Yeah, that's an understatement.
Many people think that's a bad idea and then he said,
This year we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus.
That looks like that would come out of him.
The school is collaborating with tech industry leaders to shape its curriculum with executives
from Elon Musk's SpaceX, oh only dumb guys I guess, and Boring Company, that's the name
of it, Boring Company, helping develop UATX's engineering program.
I hope there's a lot of Indians in there and Asians and double-check the
Asians well Indians are Asian from Asia but look at that fireplace you just know
this guy's filthy rich he looks that looks like a scene from Trading Places
should see Eddie Murphy pop up in the window that's pretty goddamn funny movie
actually so that's it so somebody's fighting back. Between that and Charlie Kirk, Charlie Kirk's got his shit together.
You know how I know that?
I got a thing yesterday.
It says from Charlie Kirk, his contact information.
I click on it, it goes right to my contacts.
I hope it was Charlie Kirk.
How about that?
Now he's in my contacts.
How much have you been been I've been hit up
for money I'm not shit yeah 40 times a day for the last two weeks Ted Cruz
keeps hitting me up I'm like sorry dude you've been there forever you're a
brilliant guy and you've done nothing sorry even even Trump keeps hit me up and
trumps and I've already given okay I've done what I can I put my
heart into this thing anyway so you young kids out there go to that woke
University huh what am I saying plenty of woke ones out there it is yeah very
hard to find a woke universe their mascot the anti-woke university is a noose
Mr. Noose
That's horrible, I know
I'm just saying we really need that we need to fight, but I don't it's too late to turn the ship around
Let's lighten it up. Huh sports is always a good way to do it
Let me go on my rant again about the NFL being the most over
officiated
Professional league sports league of them all
For a couple reasons number one way too many fucking rules. There's they keep adding them for safety and shit
There's just way too many they're taking the football out of football.
I've said this a million times.
I agree with the helmet on helmet.
Guys coming over the middle, you could cripple them.
I understand that.
But blindside blocks and shit, that's football.
Catching somebody with his head not on a swivel
and knocking the shit out of them, that's football.
They're taking rid of that.
Even last night, Aaron Rodgers got sacked.
This guy sacked him the only way he could,
fell on top of him.
And they called, even Aaron Rodgers, I swear to God,
he tapped the guy in the ass that tackled him,
and I saw them both shaking their head.
I swear to God, Aaron Rodgers was embarrassed
that they call Ruffin the passer.
There were over 200 yards in penalties last night.
And yes, some of that is because of the rules, but the other thing is these referees, I swear
to God, ever since they gave them the fucking microphone, they loved to be on camera.
And can I ask you another question?
And if you guys have been listening to the show, I've asked it a thousand times, how
come, when did the refs have to get together
and talk about everything for at least a minute and a half? A guy jumps off sides and they
have to talk about it. When did that fucking happen? Roger Goodell, I don't know how you've
been so successful other than the sports, the greatest on the planet. It sucks. The
game had no rhythm last night. Every fucking Monday night, even Aikman and Joe Bucca kind of, you know, they have to bite their tongues.
They're laughing at all the...
It's embarrassing.
It's horrible.
The referees think it's about them.
They were so bad last night.
Then they'll call a penalty that had nothing to do with the fucking play.
It was a penalty.
But, you know, I mean, it's a way away from the play.
It does not affect the play.
Even the head of referees about a month ago,
who was in the booth at one of the games.
Oh, no, that was last year.
He said, I want them to cut down on calling stuff that's
away from the play.
And they haven't.
They just think it's about them.
It's fucking horrendous.
Oh, yeah, this is not about that.
It's called more jet fuel.
That's what I said.
At long last, Devante Adams is becoming a New York jet.
Last night the Bells and Jets played.
The Raiders and Jets are on, this happened last night,
are finalizing a trade for the Starwide receiver,
pending a physical according to one of the sources. So that's good news
for the Jets fans.
That's fucking beautiful.
That's your offensive coordinator. The deal is for a conditional third round pick that
can become a second round pick based on performance. What if he blows the right guy? I don't even
understand how that fucking works. As you know, if you guys follow the NFL, Devante Adams,
him and fucking Aaron Rodgers were a classic hookup
when they were with Green Bay.
This guy, and then this guy goes where he wants to.
Then he went to the Raiders because the quarterback,
Derek Carr, he played with in college, Derek and David,
doesn't matter, they both suck
in my opinion, but he went to the Raiders for that reason, then he gets tired of that
and he pretends he has a hamstring and he, this guy just calls his own shots, nobody's
going to say no, he's a black millionaire.
Anyways this trade reunites Adams with quarterback Aaron Rodgers after months of speculation.
The Jets tried to trade for Adams last season, but the Raiders were not interested in moving
him.
Things have deteriorated between Adams and the Raiders and his wife.
And he requested a trade two weeks ago.
The Jets are 2-4.
If you watched the game last night, the Jets receivers dropped so many balls because they
just weren't ready for them. And
Akeman broke it down perfectly. Even I know this from college football. If you
see the teams gonna blitz and you're a receiver that means you're gonna turn
your head around real quick. And they were getting drilled in the back with a
ball and shit. No feel for the game. Aaron Rodgers is just kind of rolling his
eyes. And I swear I'm not gonna say Aaron made this happen hat, but Devante must have been on the phone going,
listen motherfucker, they can't catch a motherfucker. Get me over there.
The Jets are two and four and have struggled offensively. Adams gives Rogers a weapon he is familiar with
as the team tries to turn things around. Here's a quote from Devante Adams.
I am like God and God like me.
And that was it.
So Jets, you've got to be excited about that, but don't get too excited because you have
to protect the quarterback no matter who the fuck the receivers are.
Anyways, there was no keeping apart Rodgers and Adams, both of whom seemed to regret separating
in the first place.
The connection resulted in 622 receptions,
this is in Green Bay, for 7,590, it's 69 touchdowns.
Those are two Hall of Famers,
when they were Packers teammates for seven years.
Adams was traded to the Raiders,
where he reunited with his college quarterback
in a hole from Main Street,
one season before Rodgers was traded to the Jets.
So the Jets so the
Jets are trying man I think that's enough actually they'll get fucking
they'll teach the guys to block anyways those those you guys that are on Mug
Club watching this right now stick around for the rest of the show the rest
is go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club and you'll get the rest of my show
Steven Crowder's incredible show the whole show you'll get the rest of my show. Stephen Crowder's incredible show, the whole show. You'll get Brian Callen has a show on the network. Alex Jones pops in now and then.
And also the undercover team, which breaks national stories. Stephen told me they're
sitting on a couple of big ones. So do that and click on my tour date button. November
9th Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. Already sold 100 tickets and it's still three weeks away
or whatever, so good start.
November 9th Bridgeview Center Theatre, Ottumwa, Iowa.
All right?
All right.
Later on in the show, I'll be talking about TikTok
and it's more evil than we thought.
They're actually targeting a demographic
that I think they should be arrested for.
And a guy named Cali
Means who's a New York Times writer was on Rogan. Interesting, interesting discussion.
He has become a Trump guy. Just let that settle in. A very, very, what do you call it? Very,
very smart scholarly type guy.
From the Times. scholarly type guy from the times from the time that's the that's that's the
important thing he's going Trump we'll tell you why that is if you stick around
if not hi good night everybody I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall
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I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
I'm gonna be the one to fall
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Okay, it's official. We are very much in the final sprint to election day.
And face it, between debates, polling releases, even court appearances,
it can feel exhausting, even impossible, to keep up with.
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