The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kharga Island In Trump's Crosshairs

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

In today's episode, Nick talks about Iran's Fantasy Island, Epstein's Zorro Ranch, Chief Cop Recognized in Terror Thwarting, Jan 6 "Hero" Cop A Rapist, Uber Picks Up Women, Gene Simmons Says STFU, Vaccine Ruins Pitchers Career and Good Guy With A Gun! Use code nickdip50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 year at http://FactorMeals.com/nickdip50off The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow   MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc…  https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo   SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConX Ontario at 1866-531-260 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGEMMGELFORES Pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. You're entitled to shit. Hey, how are you folks? Welcome to the live lineup. I'm your host, Dumagilla Cutty.

in for a Kevin fuck face. Welcome to the live lineup. You get this show. You get louder with Crowder, probably the best show on the network. There's a lot of good ones, actually, Tim Pool and all these heavy hitters. Also, you get them all for free.

If you want it ad free, you sign up for Rumble premium. So follow my channel, download the Rumble app. And for you people who are fans of mine out there, I need to come out. I'm having Tommy books more dates, but I'm doing it as a litmus test.

I need a full house, or I'm going to fucking start golfing soon. And I don't like golf and I don't know how to golf. I'm just saying. That's all. Picture this is Barbara Streisian's farewell tour. Only I'm not a twat. Debatable.

Today I will be talking about Iran's fantasy island. There's a little island out there that's very important to everybody. I'm sure Trump will turn it to Gilligan and take it. Also, Epstein had a ranch out in New Mexico that I don't remember hearing about. I'm sure people in the news might have known about it. But some dark shit going on out there, apparently, or was. Also, we're going to recognize cops for once and all because I love cops, which makes me an enemy of people who don't like cops.

This Chief Edwards of New York City is the guy who chased down those two little fucking terrorist ISIS rats. and he was actually recognized by the mayor in New York. Also, he's a good cop. We got a story about a bad cop who was considered a hero cop on the insurrection day, January 6. Turns out he's as bad as they come. We got Gene Simmons going off on celebrities and telling him to shut their holes, which is always fun. All that and a lot more on the show today. Damn it, I meant to send you a picture.

Dallas of a loaf of bread I made last night. This is why, folks, if you have a little bit of a weight pro or whatever the fuck, if you can get a hold of Ozempica, any of that shit, I ate about a half, I, you know how I'm always avoiding. It's too late, though. I have about 20, hopefully I get 20 years left, so I'll eat a raccoon's ass if it smells good. What?

I'm talking about one laying in the sun for four hours. in a breakdown landing Atlanta. I did that once. It's a true story, everybody. Google it. What? Let me see if I can. I'll hold this up to the camera.

This was so fucking delicious. I was teasing homeless people with it. Walk out of my phone going, look, the guy's landing his own shit. Look what you can't have. Look at that. That thing was as crunchy. I watched.

What's that? Yes. No, that's my ass. I actually put some yeast down there. I watched the woman do it, whatever. They don't show her face, but some Italian girl, sounds very young. Anyways, doing the, and when she cut it, it sounded like, and I'm like, oh, come on, that's fucking, yeah, I thought that. But you know what?

Holy shit. It's the real thing. You guys want the recipe right now? I don't know. Who am I fucking frugal gourmet? Not only kids. Remember Jeff Smith had lured kids into his van with an apple pie recipe?

Didn't break out his Brockworth. This was as good as friggin looks. Three cups She used all-purpose flour. I had bread flour, but I went with her. Anytime I do a recipe the first time, I'll do it exactly the way they say it. So,

but three cups of all-purpose flour. Cup and a quarter of warm water, two and a half teaspoon, two teaspoons of yeast, you know, instant, and two and a half teaspoons of salt, which I liked. It was a little salty and I love salty bread. You too? Yeah. That's it. Now there's two ways of doing it. Put that in a bowl and just mix all that shit together, right? And with a spoon until it sort of comes together. You don't even have to need it. And then you just, you know, cover it. And if you do it that way, you have to, like, let it rest for like six hours.

But you don't touch it, you come home and make your bread. It doesn't is right. The second way is the same recipe, only every half hour. And you don't need it. It's in the bowl. When I say you need it, you know what I mean? Not like you need ass. There's a thing of dough.

You go like this. You just sort of stretch it, turn the bowl, kind of stretching it and folding it over in itself. You do that, you do that for about two, three minutes and you do it every half hour for a couple hours, which is a little bit of a painting the ass, but I'm home. I was trying to write a book yesterday. So I made bread.

Maybe it'll be a cookbook. I know. How about a filthy cookbook? Yeah. I got it. I got it. Oh my God. I think we just stumble over something.

Here's my cock sucking lasagna. Yeah, so you just do this. Every half hour you just kind of pull it over on itself. You're not needing it or anything. Every half hour, right? Okay. So then you're done with that. You get a Dutch oven.

You know what Dutch oven is? Folks, you know, it's just a pot. This is where we need a camera on the desk. Oh, my God. How do we, yeah, can you get that, Dallas? A little more. Oh, shit, we're just Can you see it, folks?

The full cup of coffee! Son of a bitch! And I was drinking it black. It was delicious. Anyways. Like I was saying, I'm a great chef. The book's going to be called Making Pizza with Captain Tourette's.

You know what that is? And I slept good last night, not a natural sleep, by 2 Advil PM. And it fucking worked. worked. I still went to bed at one. I don't know what's going on inside my head. Hi, how are you? Let's do a Bronny commercial. All of a sudden my show turned into one of those adult diaper commercials. You know how they always have, apparently old people's piss is blue in the commercial? Do you believe this shit? You guys are having a good laugh at home. I hope. Look at it. You know what that is? It's not copy. So I'll review as I do this. The bread recipe. You've got to do it.

It's so easy. Three cups of all-purpose flour. Two and a half teaspoons of salt. Two teaspoons of yeast. Oh, shit. What did I say for water? Did I say a cup and a quarter? I'm going to get that wrong now.

Oh, is it two cups? Hold on, folks. I promise it. It'll be worth it. I tell you, man. Where is it? Ah, here we go. You motherfucker.

You motherfucker. Maybe it's in my inbox. Your sister's fucking ass. Are you fucking kidding me? Hold on. I know it's in here. No, I don't. Nothing but guitar licks. Thank you, boss.

Cup and a quarter of warm water. I swear to God. Yes. So you got the ingrained. Anyways, the second way of making it, like I said, every half hour you do that for a couple hours. So you do it like four times. You've got to kind of stretch it over itself and shit.

Then you get a Dutch oven. And this is where I turned into a retard and spilled shit. Dutch, you know what it is. Google it if you don't fucking. You shouldn't be cooking if you know what it is. It's something like you make a beef stew in a pot. And you put flour. You preheat the oven at 420, whatever the fuck.

425, right? I'm just making, I gotta get the clock back. I'm wasting my people's time. 4.25, you preheat the Dutch oven and the oven. Nothing in it, no lid on it. So then take it out, be careful. Don't do what I did last night. Grab it.

And smoke comes off your hands. You take it out, hit it with flour, then take your glob of dough, which is about this big at that time, and just drop it in there. You don't need to shape it or anything. He might give it one,

stretch before you put it in there. Then put the lid on it. Put it in the oven for about a half hour, 30, 35 minutes. Take the lid off and look, it should be getting like golden or a little brown. Then you cook it for like another 15, 20 minutes without the lid on it. And that's it. And it's bread like if you went to a bakery. I mean, it's like, you can hear it's like son.

It is fucking, excuse me, see? It's tremendous. I dropped a bagette today in the toilet. I'm sorry, that was Italian bread. I'm lying. No, I'm kidding. I didn't go today. I'm scheduled Friday to go.

Jesus Christ! What's that? Eight ounces of coffee? The fuck? It's like the Hoover Dam. My coffee's having a heavy day. Holy shit. iPad's a coffee proof, right? Sure.

You guys are watching the fucking retarded show. Welcome. I feel like I can fucking make a wish thing. Look at little Nicky wanted to make bread. Goodness, fucking Heloise. You know, I'm going to make a Nerf desk. It cleans itself. I need more fucking stretch.

All right. Hi, I'm Captain Brony. Where are we? What were we talking about? That was a waste of time. Dallas got me a nice fresh cup of cup of coffee. coffee. I might start spelling it all the time. Oh my God. Anyhow, let's get to it. That's the fucking thing, man. Do it. Oh, my God. You let it, let it sit. Don't cut it right out of the oven. You got to let anything else. Put it on a rack for like 15 minutes, whatever. But holy shit.

I was, I did one with butter first. Yeah, and the pieces are like this big. And then I did one with olive oil. I'm laying on the couch eating it like it's Eminem's. Mother of God, I was hard as a shark's tooth. True story. All right. Let's get to it. Fantasy Island. An island, one-third the size

of Manhattan, controls virtually all Iranian crude oil experts, and its experts say its fate could be essential to President Trump's end game with the Tehran. Carg Island, that's K-H-A-R-G, unless you want, you know, in case you want to buy a

timeshare there is located about 16 miles off the Iranian coast in the Persian Gulf, making it difficult to defend, but, and easier to isolate, reportedly drawing the attention of administration planners. Carg Island handles roughly, listen to this, 90% of Iran's crude oil expert, why didn't we whack this place a long time ago? What the fuck? Reagan, I'm starting to question you, too. Take it out.

take it out, and this means cutting off the military budget for Iran, in addition to pulling the plug on the basic services that keep Iranian society functioning, which that's where we have a problem, because we like the Iranian people. But you know what? Sometimes you've got to step up. Anyways, who said that? Muhammad Salimant, and he's actually a good guy. A senior fellow.

Oh, my God, he's a fellow. A senior fellow terrorist. No, D.C. base Middle East Institute. I returned punch there, remember in the 80s? The revenue shortfall would run into the billions, monthly. You know, like if Biden was running it. You'd see the currency collapse further, inflation spike, subsidies buckle, and this will add more pressure on the country, meaning Iran,

with no quick way to stop the motherfucking bleeding. Oh, look, Carnival cruise lines goes there. Seizing the island is. not so much a matter of if but when. That's what sources say that are close to the administration. The IDF, and for you, people don't know what that is, that's the Israeli defense forces or fund, is keen to take control as sooner than the U.S. commanders believe it is necessary to. I like the Jews.

They get their foot on the gas. And I know people right now, you fuck me, what are you kidding? They're the problem. Maybe, maybe not. For now we use them. Again, I think I have the best take on that. I wanted to actually call, like, Fox News and go, here's how, here's what you should be saying.

Maybe Bibby is playing us, and we'll find out, because we're still, as good as the Jews are, people are going crazy. Because these real conservatives have been hating Jews since your early 40s. The U.S. would prefer to continue to focus on taking out Iran's offensive capabilities before taking Kareg. Here's Trump talking to Bibby, because Bibby is already making move to, you know, do something with this island.

And we have audio of Trump and him getting into a little heated exchange. This is Trump yelling at him. Bebe, Nutting Yahoo. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you, Jew, motherfucker, you. It's a little tension about cargo. Anyways, Iranian oil is heavily sanctioned by the U.S. government, and most oil that departs, Karg is shipped to China.

Now I'm confused. The video's coming up, right? Yeah. All right. Oil shipments from the Persian Gulf have slowed to a trickle since the war started on February 28th, causing wild swings in global trading as, you know what? The war didn't start, in my opinion, February 20th. It started a couple of years ago on October 7th.

Remember they raped and killed all those innocent people at that concert in Israel? Yeah, that's when it started. And guess who's ending it? Causing wild swings in global trading as Trump attempts to Coke ships to traverse the the Strait of Hormuz with a new reassurance program and offers U.S. military escorts. Do you understand, folks, all that fucking oil that Iran was selling to China, it goes through there too. You understand, that's why this is so important, this frigging island.

You know, Trump will turn car, I'm telling you, if he gets it, he's going to turn into a, like I said, fantasy out. They're going to be broads and booze. And if you don't believe me, look at this. They're already talking about it. A very special guest, who? Oh, here's some of the guests coming. Mm-hmm.

They are beautiful ladies. You notice it Trump's face? Miss Myra Kowlinski and Ms. Gladys Boiling all the way from Terra Hot, Indiana, where they are nurses in the county hospital. What's that stuff they're getting? Oh, they are both. Oh, that's silicone. That too. Those are tits.

Did you see the fact? Have we already AIed ever? I watched that for a second, and I missed it was Trump's face. I had to rewind it because I wanted to get the, and I almost ship blood. How funny is that? That's Carg Island, so a few people are looking for property to buy out there. Hey, folks, when I want a fast, healthy meal at home, I grab Factor. Factor meals are designed by dieticians and prepared by real chefs.

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We thank them for sponsoring the show today. Also, if you want to support this show, the best way to do it is go to nickdip.com and go to the merchandise page and we have hats and hoodies and t-shirts and corrective shoes and false teeth all the stuff you need at nickdip.com also you want to send a personalized video to someone with me and the video talking to him you go to shoutout.us it can be a gift being nice and saying your son thinks you're the greatest mother ever or you can tell your boss to go shit in his hat if he's got a sombrero. You know, stuff like that.

Shoutout.us. Let's move on. Zeroing in on Zoro Ranch. Did I get coffee on me? No. Got to get the oil change. At a new place today, you know, because I bought a new car a few months.

I don't want to walk in with coffee on my cock. Anyway, New Mexico authorities have descended on Jeffrey Epstein's Zorro Ranch in New Mexico, which I hadn't heard of. I'm sure, like I said, they've been keeping this. I don't know. Maybe it's been out there. After a campaign in New Mexico, after a campaign to investigate the macabre and strange claims about the property itself,

the pedophile millionaire plotted to use the ranch as a baby factory to seed the earth with more perfect humans. He also allegedly, now this is where, and again, I'll tell you this story, bury the victims of deadly sex games there. I would just put mine behind the house in a trash. Nobody knew. Filmed horrific child porn and had a bizarre laboring garden that is now a massive hole in the ground. Despite the horrifying claims about Zoro Ranch,

there had never been a thorough search of the property by law enforcement. Why not? No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Much of the new push to turn over the 33,000 square foot compound came from a local radio host who received a horrifying tip-off in November 2019.

Just three months after Epstein killed himself. Now, I don't want to get my news third hand from the wacky zoo morning host in Albuquerque. But I guess it's more of the story than that. Here's the news. Authorities noted that they have had the cooperation of the ranch's current property owners

who have allowed access to the search. The deceased child sex trafficker bought Zorro Ranch in 1993 from former Democratic Governor Bruce King, building a sprawling property that included a 26,700 square foot, hacienda-style mansion, guest houses, a pool, ranch offices, a firehouse, heated garages, a private air strip, a hangar, and a helipad. The property was later sold by Epstein's estate in 2023 and purchased by the family of former Texas state senator Don Huffeim's. Well, you might want to talk to Don Huffeim's. Eddie Aragon has spent the years since investigating the claims about Zorro Ranch,

and he believes the secrets the property holds will horrify the world. These are things, if I were to say them, would make me seem crazy or conspiratorial, and it's not, he said. He was the one who received the anonymous email about the compound. Did you know somewhere in the hills outside the Zorro, two foreign girls were buried on orders of Jeffrey and Madam G? The message said, again, how do we know? Referring to Epstein's paramour, jislaying Maxwell. I got dust up the crack of my ass and I'm starving to death.

I guess that was Mr. Aragon. Both died by strangulation during the rough fetish sex, the email added. What is damning about Jeffrey Epstein is yet to be written. The letter claiming to be written by a ranch employee that has been there and seen it all didn't include further details about the deaths. However, instead demanding Aragon, here's where it gets fishy to me, pay one Bitcoin worth about $6,500 at the time to an anonymous digital wallet. Sounds familiar.

within a day in return for a USB full of damning information. So it's, you know, like the Guthrie thing. By the way, did I tell you when I was, when we landed, when I landed in Dallas, I opened overhead compartment. Mrs. Guthrie. I fucking believe that shit. I forgot to tell anybody. Aragon didn't pay but forwarded to the FBI saying that it could be real.

deal. Yeah, and so could Santa Claus. But why would, that's very specific in details, and I would be digging up the whole play. Look at this fucking, look at that, you see that wrong? What a piece of gabbage. I'm just surprised that maybe it did come up and if you guys had, I had not heard about the ranch. Let's move on to all hail the chief. You know, we don't give cops enough recognition. In the last couple weeks, a couple nights ago I read about a cop. I forget. Where was it? State trooper shot to death during a traffic start. I'm going to say it again.

I'm going to say this until somebody listens to me. You know how they say reimagined policing? Well, they're almost right on this one. Don't do that anymore. When you pull somebody over, especially at night, you've got to change the way you're doing it. You can't just walk. I know you got that light on.

You can't just walk up to a car that has tinted windows at night and expect the guy to roll down. I mean, that's crazy. Is it not? It is. And I would also add to that, don't get out of your car until you have backup. That's what I'm saying.

That's the thing. Get on the speaker thing. Right? Until another cop arrives and parks in front of that car or whatever. And I know, well, there's resources and you're going to, I don't fucking, isn't that worth a family losing their dad? I mean, what the, think about it. Would you ever approach a car in the dark, even if you needed,

let's say you were on foot and you needed directions to the nearest McDonald's. Are you going to go knocking? I'm not. I always, and I get pulled over a lot because I was a comic, I drove thousands and thousands of miles. And a few times I've got pulled over the highway, I put the dome light on, because my late great buddy cop told me, put the dome light on, put your hands on the steering wheel.

And even that's not going to help if you have tinted window. Why do you get rid of those? I know they're illegal in some places. But you've got to reimagine that. Somebody tell the cops. I think it's a good point, just like my NFL rules that need change. What a catch is. Anyways, yeah, so some young con,

insane. Anyways, all hail the chief. The NYPD chief hailed as a hero for helping to chase down a pair of accused, ISIS-inspired, botched bombers, said it was all part of being one of New York's finest. Chief Aaron Edwards Look at him. That's him in action. The 46-year-old, if this was an ABC

new drama show, that would be a woman, by the way, that FBI badger on her neck and a fucking squirt gun. Chief Aaron Edwards, the 46-year-old commander of patrol, borrow Manhattan North, was just stepped away from a smoking IED. Luckily, that didn't go off. They said it would have killed a lot of people in front of a crew of NYPD cops

during a rowdy demonstration outside Gracie Mansion and it didn't, he didn't hesitate to jump into action. He said, and I quote, I always say we're all cops, right? Edward told the Post Tuesday, regardless of rank, regardless of life, regardless of position, you're a cop first. Once a cop, always a cop. Well, a lot of people aren't going to get involved. A lot of people.

I mean, I think he means everybody. If you saw something bad, whatever. He's saying your instinct is a jump in, but not anymore. We've seen a million times since everybody has a cell phone of something horrific happening, and people just filming it and not. stopping it. This guy, God bless this guy. His heroics went viral, but when his wife of 12 years saw footage of him running into harm's way, she texted him one observation, wrong direction, sir. That's a good wife. Edwards was part of the NYPD deployment at an anti-Muslim rally led by

agitator Jake Lang. Notice that I took out far right wing agitator Jake Lay on Saturday, and it was a peaceful protest until scum showed up. When a group of counter-protest, showed up to disrupt the damage. You have to see the take on CNN. Watch Gutfeld tonight. I think it's in the monologue. How they reported it. They let, I'll let him do it.

I want to jump on the story. You won't believe how CNN they tweeted about it. You won't even fucking believe it. It was so bad that they later deleted it. I don't know how much more we need to know that they're the enemy too. The scuffles broke out and then two radicalized Pennsylvania teens, both Amish. No, I'm kidding. They have the same beards.

One makes, you know, makes its own cheese. The other drinks Christian blood. Pennsylvania teens took it once. See, Pennsylvania teens, number one. Wait do you read CNN's thing? I don't know how you find it, but somebody, I'm sure, took a snapshot. Hurling two homemade explosive devices onto the ground. One of them landing right in front of Edwards

and NYBD Sergeant Lewis Nabarro with the fuse lit. Now, see, you can't blame bystanders for not jumping on that one. Sergeant Navarro alerted me. This is Edwards talking. First, that he saw these two males with something in their hands, and he tapped me, said, what are they doing?

Edwards recalled Tuesday. I look up and I saw what everyone saw in the videos. Here are the NYPD heroes in action. Of course, the brother gets right over the fence. That could have been Sergeant McGillicotty with a gut. Anyways, great. Great representation of ISIS, huh?

They made a bomb that didn't go off, and then they got caught by guys twice their age running down the street. Unbelievable. And like Dallas said, the cops didn't even get like invited. Mondami didn't even show up to the presser or have them into Gracie Mansion.

You know what I mean? I say this calls for action and now. It's like an experiment. I can't believe what's going on in New York. That guy's the mayor. He's already fucking showed tons of anti-Semitic instincts and shit. You guys are just going to, is it, you're just sitting there? Nobody's threatening him or I don't get the world anymore.

The images of the incident show the device on the sidewalk in front of Edwards and Navarro with suspect Imir Balat 18, ready to leap over police barrier barricades to get away. Moments before Edwards hurtled the barriers and nabs the teen with help from other cops. Balat and 19-year-old Ibrahim Kiyumi are now in fact. custody facing terrorism charges. By dickhead. They wanted to, they said after, they admitted, yes, we, they quoted ISIS, even after they were saying scary shit.

They quoted ISIS and they, they, they said their goal was to pull off one bigger than the Boston Marathon. That was their goal. His, his video of the cops being at least, recognized. recognized by Mayor Tish, the commissioner, and white people. Where your shield with pride as these officers do. Serve with integrity as these officers do and they never ever forget that the trust that comes with this uniform. Congratulations to each of you and welcome to the New York City.

Hold on. And welcome to the, like was she being sarcastic? You know what I mean? get killed. Welcome. Now you know what it's like. I guess she might have been talking to the young people watching it. But I, we, go ahead. It's almost over here. Is that it? I mean, you know, and where's my don't? Both Edwards and the viral were recognized for the bravery. That was NYPD commissioner, Jessica Tisch. What? Another video? All right, good. So yes, kudos to you guys.

And seriously, people take this ship for granted. Keep your head on a swivel, folks. Because like I said, thanks to Joe Biden. The last time number I heard was 18,000 people could be running around that want to do harm to us. And as we reported yesterday, they got the call to wake up the sleeper cell. So I don't think something good's coming. So let's go from a hero cop to a dirty, filthy cop who, January 6th hero cop charged with rape. He's a D.C. cop. A former Washington

D.C. police officer named Timothy Valentin. There he is. They say there's a fine line between cops and criminals. Well, this guy, I wouldn't hire him to fucking work security at the circus. Timothy Valentine has been charged, get this, with the rape

of half a dozen women he met from online dating apps. Here is Alexander. Andrea Commonwealth's attorney, Brian Porter, to explain the investigation and the charges. On December 11, 2025, the defendant was arrested and formally charged with five felony offenses alleged to have occurred in April of 2025, raped by force, raped by physical incapacity or helplessness, forcible sodomy, adulteration of a beverage, and abduction with the intent of a file. During that arrest, the protect his recover the defendant's cell phone. They obtained a search warrant and conducted a forensic

examination of the conscience of the phone. And that search of the phone revealed a significant amount of evidence that revealed the defendant may have engaged in numerous sexual assault offenses in both Maryland and Virginia. So let's review on January 6th, the so-called insurrection. We have this guy, I don't care what he did on January 6th. He fooled whoever hired him, number one. a serial rapist and the other black cops shot a female veteran to death and he had been known to have a loose trigger he left his guns more than once in certain places I mean that's the two cops that we know about that were at January 6th I'm sure there was some good ones even though it was all staged I'll say that till I'm purple anyways this douchebag here with his fucking

Muhammad Baird faces 32 criminal charges over the alleged assault. At least they weren't serious ones. Four counts of rape by force. Is there any other kind? Four counts of rape by incapacitation. Two counts of adulteration. Two counts of sodomy. Two counts of abduction with intent to defile.

I mean, what the fuck? Sexual battery by incapacitation. Two counts of sodomy by force or incapacitation. And 15 counts of unlawful filming. Mr. Genius has the shit on his phone some of it. Other charges are also pending against a Valentin from like another case. You're a wormy cut sucker, you know that? He is accused of using aliases with his victims.

Investigators are asking for help from the public in finding other potential victims. Sorry, we're busy with our lives. Valentin's name is on the 45-page list. Listen to this. For those honored by a commemorative plaque, that was recently installed at the Capitol. And let me tell you something. If they could have it their way,

the name will still be there, 100 years from now. They'll come up with some fucking excuse. He was abused as a child. He also received a ribbon of valor in 20. And by the way, I'm going to repeat this. No cops were killed on January 6th during the insurrection.

None. Look it up. He also received a ribbon for valor in 2021 from the Metropolitan Police Department. That's a confused guy. So he's actually, when he's a cop, he's doing his job, except for whatever he did on whatever. But, you know, on this downtime,

most cops like, you know, go fishing, a hunting, or put it, add a room to the house of shit. He's fucking raping and, you know, not just a few. You see the charges? That guy should never see the light of day. But, you know how it is. It's D.C. and probably make him work at a car wash for a week. this matter of fact he looked like he could be

dovetail into this next story he looks like an Uber driver a bad one and there's a lot of them how do I know this well Uber's making a change to their policies the headline is picking up chicks that I call it Uber has launched a new feature that allows both women riders and drivers across the US to be matched with other women for trips, ensuring they don't end up with a potentially dangerous male customer or rider. Hey, no offense, Deegan.

While there is an ongoing class action lawsuit against the policy in California, of course, which has been filed by Uber drivers who claim it discriminates against men, they're rolling out the feature nationwide anyway. Right, I did the best I could. What about me? What am I supposed to do? said the male Uber drivers who actually have a point. I think they say something called like women preferred female preferred driver

because it's very questionable legal ground here, right? Like typically you can't discriminate. Like you can't say, oh, well, only women can come into my store or only men can come into my store. It's usually something that's a bit frowned upon. Blaze TV host Stu Berger said that it's usually mostly frowned upon when it's men saying it. When women say it's generally speaking okay if we can determine what a woman is,

he could take, which is a great point. Like, he says, like, you can imagine the extravaganza there's going to be when a guy who says he's a woman tries to pick up a woman. And that woman is upset about it. They are. They're walking into a haunted stuff. It's going to be, and it is, it's discrimination on its face. Answer an ad that, you know, male we can't hire you.

You know, I mean, there's a guy. slash woman. Ugh, you're ugly, either way. And the thing behind you, it looks like a pigeon about the land on, take a dump behind you. Look at her. Calm you here, you fucking hoe. It's going to be lots of controversy, lots of good material coming our way, he says.

And while sexual assaults have reportedly decreased over the years, Uber is standing firm in its decision. according to reports from Uber itself, 5,981 incidents of sexual assault were reported between 2017 and 2018 and the youth. That's a lot. Can you blame women, which decreased, I'm sure they'll find a loophole around the discrimination thing, decreased to 2,700717 between 2021 and 2020. That's still ridiculous. And it's a legitimate concern. You know what I mean?

You're a waitress. You're 20 years old. You get off to shift at two of them when you call an Uber. We've read many stories. Of course, I did a joke about it. If you're a fat, ugly girl who can't get late on a Saturday night, call an Uber. I'm taking somewhere. You won't even get there.

You wake up in your sister's driveway with your skirt over your head. It happens. But it's a legitimate concern. I even, you get in the car. We always joke when I do a crowd a show every time they call a car for me to go back to the airport. it's so goddamn funny. Might as well be a magic carpet. We always laugh at the name.

You know how the Uber's they'll send a picture or the car service will send a picture of the guy. And it's like Ben Laden's cousin. But again, and this is why you really shouldn't you because I get in a car with one guy and he looked as Arab, a young guy. You're like, this guy is fucking ISIS material. He fucking, he was listening to like,

not Hannity, but somebody. And he asked me what I was doing there and shit, which I said, none of your business, Hodd. You keep your eye on the road. No, but he started going off on how much he loved Trump. And he wouldn't lie, I don't think. But he knew a lot of fucking political shit that you and I agreed with, you know. But I'm just saying it's a legitimate concern for women.

But again, ladies, I think I solved the problem. Just carry a gun. I don't care for you, New York City. Or something. on gun. Get around. You got to think. You got to be out of the box. Big knife. And when you get in the car, just hold it up so he can see it in the rib, you may. And he goes, sir, can I ask your question? Tap on his fucking turban. Ah, for the love of God. Imagine you're working for Uber and you're going to go rape or in a park and a lot of something. What the fuck? Let's move on. I'm getting depressed.

Let's move on to one of my teenage heroes. The great Gene Simmons is spitting political fire this time. telling you he is man. Kiss my ass. Get it, kiss. If you're famous, Gene Simmons has a strong message for you, and by the way, I don't put myself in this category. Okay? I'm a tiny,

I'm not famous. I always explain that to my mother. I go, ma, Tom Cruise is famous. You know what I'm saying? Bill Clinton's famous for raping. No, it's a joke. You know, I go, a few people know that fall of comedy.

Anyway, so I can talk all I want about politics. I don't totally agree with them at all this, but a lot of it I do, of course. Anyway, Simmons has a strong message for you if you're like a celebrity. Do your art and shut up about politics, he says. The legendary KISS co-founder put his own spin on Laura Ingraham's infamous shut up and dribble. Remember she said that about LeBron, I think? When we chatted with him on Monday, this is TMZ. and he even called out a few celebs by name,

and this is why he did the story, because he picked the ones I would have picked. You'll have to watch the video to find out who he's talking about, so let's do that. I know right now Ben Stiller is calling out the president saying he doesn't want him to use his movie clips for war propaganda.

I mean, it sounds like a lot of people are kind of, you know, criticizing Trump like Hollywood right now, you know, over this war thing. Is that fair? Yeah, because everybody in the world should listen to what actors and comedians say because they're so qualified. Basically shut the fuck up.

Do your art and shut up. Nobody's interested in your opinions. That includes me. Who I vote for, who I like. Who the fuck do you think you are? People in America work hard for their living and they don't want to be lectured to by people who live in mansions

and drive Rolls-Royces. It's time for everybody in the entertainment to shut their pie hole and just do your art. Nobody cares what you think. don't. Okay. What will Mark Ruffalo?

How are the fucking pronounces his name? Mark Ruffalo, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the guy. Ruffalo, Buffalo. What does Mark think about politics? I don't care. So you think celebrities should

stay out of the politics? Oh, so I haven't to went to her. Wow, you picked up on that, don't you? Yeah. Oh, my, go ahead. This is considered journalism by Hobby 11. We both agree. Okay.

Yeah. I know. Or go to Kylie Jenner, Ask you what you think so the war so far. He put it so well. And I agree with them mostly, but I also, hey, just because you're famous and a celebrity, you have a right to fucking shoot your mouth off about politics like anybody else. Why not?

You're fucking American. They, some of them work hard. You know what I'm saying? So, and I'm not, again, I'm not saying it because I'm not even famous, but I'm just saying, you have a right to fucking spew whatever. But they, what he's pointing out is these jerkoffs. They won't hang out with you. They won't, you know, work with certain directors

who don't have their politics. And the reason it happens, folks, is because when you get famous, you have a big platform. They have millions of fans. How do you think advertising works? You have Michael Jordan hold up a pack of fucking Haynes underwear and people buy it.

That's how we advertise. and wrensen, that's why these jerkoffs. But Mark Ruffalo or Ben Stiller, shut the fuck up. Keep talking, but keep putting a... Ruffalo, when's the last time you made anything good?

If you ever did. His face, man, he's the one. He's the fucking one. Smug piece of shit is... And you know what, folks? I lived out there for four years. And it's like a liberal boot camp. It's all...

You can't get away from it. You know? And the longer you stay out there, theory, the stupid are you get. Luckily, people are leaving. Who's famous that just left? They were there all their whole lives, and they're like, fuck this. I can't remember.

But anyways, what's interesting, Simmons has been more open in recent years about his general views on politics and politicians. In 2016, Simmons, well, he included himself when he said, shut up. Simmons predicted Donald Trump's victory, calling him good for the political system. In an interview, see, now when you say something, and the jerkoffs like Ruffalo or Ben Still, they wouldn't fucking work with you or hire you or their life is the difference.

In an interview with Rolling Stone. So months later, he went on CNN. This is right after when Trump first got to like, called Trump a legitimate, upstanding guy. So he certainly wasn't practicing what he's now preaching. Of course, they have to point that. By 2022, his tone had changed slightly during the appearance with Bill Maher. The person that I saw, he said,

first coming into power, he's talking about Trump, is not the person I saw within a year or two of that, he said. But I changed the way lots of people change. They lecture, though. They don't just give their opinion. And that's why I have so much trouble. Please, somebody watch that. You have to watch that American Idol episode I'm talking about.

You will shit your pants. It should be called, my wife goes, it should be called American Criedle. Everybody's got a fucking sob story. Oh, my. There must have been three, and I said it yesterday, there must have been three contestants. It might have been 17 going all I've been through in my life.

What? Excuse me? Wow. The left has won that. Let's move on to pitch. You can't get no relief. In an awful vaccine side effect, I should say,

an awful vaccine side effect has allegedly sideline a baseball player for the rest of his life. Isaiah Caranza was drafted by the Chicago White Sox in 2018. but never made it to the major leagues. Now Karanza is suing his former organization saying it denied his vaccine injury after he was coerced into getting the shot. Okay, so I can't see, I'm sorry. So you can look at this right from that first paragraph

and go, well, he's just, it's sour grapes. He didn't make it. Could be the truth, right? It could be, but here's my take. Even if that is the case, excuse me, he still was forced to, get two vaccine shots. The league didn't force them.

The White Sox. Sort of that unwritten law. If you care about the team, you'll do it. So he did it. He's a young kid. And I say, even if he's doing it now for the money or whatever sour grapes, he still was made to get that shot.

That's going to get him in the end, in my opinion. So, you know what? I hope he fucking wins. Isaiah complied with a mandate, reported serious, adverse symptoms, almost immediately and repeatedly sought help.

Carranza played two years in AAA, I should say A, high A, the third level of minor league baseball. However, 2022 was the last time he appeared in a game, and the former pitcher has since alleged that the team officials warned him he would be blacklisted if he didn't get a COVID-19 vaccine. That's the other thing. How the fuck Fauci and Biden not sharing a cell

and anybody fucking, according to the Chicago Sun Times, Carranza claimed if he did not get two doses, his organization would not release him from his contract so that he could pursue other teams. At the same time, he was allegedly told he had no prospects of moving up in the organization. That don't sound fear, does it?

Don't give me that smart out of your shit. After getting the Pfizer vaccine, Karanza said he soon began suffering, extreme dizziness. And he lost a, It lost a breaking ball and couldn't get his knuckle back. Obviously side effects, we all had. No, extreme dissonous, nauseat, near fainting, and wildly fluctuating heart rate.

But the team told him it was simply dehydration anxiety and rookie nerves. Remember how everybody became an expert on the vaccine? I should everybody who was for it. Here is an idiot, I call it, and a sheep herder. White Sox GM Rick Hahn back in April of 2021 when like I said everybody became experts on the shot

at least on the left you can tell how they voted it's the people that are still wearing masks letting you know Rick Han the GM of the White Sox this is him trying to sound like he's a world-renowned virologist back then but it goes beyond that

it goes beyond what it does for the individual and goes to protecting each other and protecting the community around us and the level of buy-in that we had in our house, I think was remarkable. The level of buy-in? Well, yeah. If they didn't get it, you were going to ostracize them.

Level of buy-in. Fucking. Karanza also allegedly began experience severe pain and dysfunction in his pitching arm. I don't know how that happened. After receiving the vaccine, plaintiff suffered severe adverse health reactions with little to no support from defendants who denied him necessary. accommodations, meaning the White Sox organization. Carranza also claimed that the injury impaired his ability to throw at a professional level

and essentially ended his career. He's reported, again, it could be sour grapes, but I don't care. He fought, they, they threatened his health, did more than threaten. Who knows what the long-term effects are. It'd be funny that all of a sudden they show him throwing at some field that he's thrown 103. Forget that. I feel good. He's reportedly seeking 19 million in damages, and he has an estimated.

$557,000 price tag and future medical expenses. So like I said, whether it's sour grapes or not, I'm on his side. The fact that anybody forced anybody to put something in their bodies that they didn't know.

Aye, aye, aye. Finally tonight on your sister's back hair, a good guy with a gun. A Somerset Township, Pennsylvania, homeowner awoke to noises Monday morning and confronted then and shot and killed an alleged intruder. I love it.

CBS News reported that the incident occurred around 2 a.m. A release from the Pennsylvania State Police indicated the homeowner, awoke to sounds of loud banging, and killed Wilma. Now, as the alleged intruder attempted to break a window, he eventually succeeded in breaking the glass, at which point the homeowner announced that he was armed but the alleged intruder began making entry into the home anyway.

They don't seem to listen to the intruders. The homeowner shot the intruder in the head. I love it. In the head. All right, you got them. WJAC noted that the intruder's body was found by responding troopers near the back door. The police detained the homeowner, of course, until the preliminary investigation encated he was,

acting in self-defense. Can you imagine that'll go to court and they'll argue whether it's self-defense or not? When in a real, at a perfect world you go, let me see, it was the middle of the night and a guy broke his window. Yeah, you can kill him. I don't care if he's here to borrow sugar. When I say borrow sugar, meaning your wife, fill him with fucking lead. That's called a good guy with a gun, stop, and a bad guy with a hard on.

Good night, everybody. I don't want to show I love you. Do it again. Do it again. I don't want to show I love you. I want to do that on my deathbed too. He was... You know, they say you see your life going by?

At that point, he was seeing his wife go by. Oh, my God. All right, that's it, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Don't forget to iron your shirts tonight. Now, Cameo.com, if you want me to send the personal video of me saying, Happy Birthday to Mom, or, you know, roasting a friend of yours that might be a fan of mine or might not, whatever. People love it. I've done a lot of them this week.

Anyways, go to Cameo.com for that. That's it, right? You guys, thank it, I'll say, you're very welcome. As I can't believe we're going to say it again, but we'll see you tomorrow morning at the same time. Did I say you think it? Shit. Two grown men, we have no idea. You thinking I'll say it, and we'll see it back here tomorrow for the final day.

Have a good rest of the day. Bye. Hi. Good night, everybody.