The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kirby Confronted on Crooked Joe | Nick Di Paolo Show #1408

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Kirby's telling "response", a tranny beatdown and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 Oh yeah, how you doing folks? Welcome to the big show. Happy June to you. You know what that means. That's right, it's Pride Month. As opposed to the 11 months a year where we don't talk about them at all. And we just shut them and we treat them shitty. Oh, God. You can take diversity, inclusion, equity, stick it up your sister's box. You don't hear that on Hannity, do you?

Please. Speaking of that. We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Sounded like me on every radio show I heard.

Oh, Nick, you gotta calm down. Shut up! Fucking, I asked for cream in my coffee. This whore brings me black. What? No. I never had anybody give me coffee. This whore brings me black. What? No. I never had anybody give me coffee that I liked.

All right. Great to be here. And this too. Man, fuck you and your bone spurs. That's how I feel today. Once again, I have, you know, kind of a handyman in the house doing, I don't even know what. Wife has a list of 19 things. I go, fucking go ahead.

Fucking ding dong at 8.05. My dog fucking yapping like it fucking, I'm laying there. Can't get back to sleep. Yes, I sleep till 8.30, which ain't bad for a comedian. It's fucking, it's like a fisherman hours for a comedian. Dog, dog fucking yapping. And he's got his daughter with him, which is fine. It's great. I think it's so cool a guy gets to bring his daughter.

You know what I mean? We had another guy who did the same thing. I think that's fucking great because these girls are learning a trade. You know what I mean? They already know

how to do more shit than I do, hands-wise. And yeah, so, but it's my fucking dog and if I knew it was a yapper I would have crushed its head when we were looking at it at the lady's house fucking lied to us I said is this a yappy piece of shit that's how I asked it maybe she lied maybe that's why she anyways I'm tired is the point. Fucking wanted to work out yesterday. Couldn't. Fucking driving home, I'm falling asleep at the wheel.

10 minute drive, my eyes are watering. Oh, your sister's ass. Fucking A. What time you got into the show? What the fuck is my problem? You can leave that in, you know. Yep. All right. Do you think I'm going to edit that? Fucking the essence of you, jerk off.

Hey, real quick, I just saw this. I don't even know why I'm reporting on it. I just like to use it as an excuse to make fun of him. ABC News suspends relationship with Christie, head of expected campaign. They word these headlines. Look, there's the blueberry ice cream cone. His pants are the cone.

There's a blueberry in it. Oh, my God. How can you be a guy and have a gunt? I feel so bad. There's about 40 pictures of him from different angles in that uniform, and somebody draws a red arrow to his little pee-pee. Oh, my God, people are cruel.

ABC News, so I'm going, ooh, what, did he do something to piss them off? And then I forgot he's a contributor to ABC News. Yeah, so you'd want him as a president, a contributor to a legacy broadcast company who fucking is as far left as you can get, whether it's ABC, CBS, NBC. That's considered a Republican in New Jersey. And you know why he's doing it, right? Just fucking sell a book. He can go give speeches for whatever. You know what I mean? He can't think he's going to be the president. Biden will outlive this guy. This guy's heart's clogged with baked ziti. Fucking aorta is clogged with imported

prosciutto. Am I right? By the way, Dallas is moving to fucking Italy, he says when he's done doing what he's doing here. Anyways, previously an ally to former President Trump, Christie grew increasingly outspoken against Trump, his false claims of election fraud, which are not false. It's been proven, and I'll say it again, even if you take the machines out of it and all that horse shit and ballot harvesting, take all that shit out of it,

you still got the collusion with Facebook and big tech burying stories. And so shut the fuck up about it. Who wrote this? It says liberal whore. That's what she goes by. Anyways, Christie has said he could not back another Trump bid for White House and has been critical of candidates who have not taken more forceful stands against Trump. Fucking have a sandwich, you big girl. God, is he a puss. I hated him as a frigging governor. Like I said, only in New York.

All right, I just want to get that off my chest. Kirby confronted. The White House was not happy that a reporter dared to ask on Wednesday about a recent poll showing that a majority of Americans think President Joe Biden is corrupt. What are we doing? You don't know. What's going on right now? That's right.

He asks that every day at the meetings. At the daily press briefing, New York Post, naturally, and they're not even right-wing anymore, but this is his right wing. The New York Post reporter, Stephen Nelson, give him a round of applause. Stephen, why? Cond confronted John Kirby. Sounds like a fucking impressionist from the 60s. Doesn't he look like something in a Will Smith movie? He's the FBI guy. With information dripping from congressional investigations into the Biden family. Did I read that right, Dripping? Yes. What the fuck? Well, here's the video, and let this burn in your mind because you don't see it often.

Here's a guy asking a question that the media should have been asked two years ago after, what's his name, Carlson interviewed Bobulinski. Go ahead. There was a Harvard-Harris poll this month that found that 53 percent of the public, including a fourth of Democrats, believe, quote, Joe Biden was involved with his son in an illegal influence peddling scheme. There's, of course, evidence that the president interacted with his relatives, associates from China, Mexico, Kazakhstan, Russia and Ukraine. So what do you say to the majority of Americans who believe that the president is himself corrupt? Wow. Jesus. Hum-a-na-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a. The president has spoken to this.

The president has spoken to this. Good answer. And there's nothing to these claims. That's all they have to say. And you dumb fucks who vote Democrat go along with it. You fucking idiots. And why I'm yelling at you on my show, you're not watching me. Right?

Right. Well, tell your friends who vote that way. Seriously, there's the difference to me between the left and the right. Both sides do it. Shut the fuck up. Only one side hates his country and his outright Marxists. The fucking media, state-run media. You might as well be watching Putin.

That has nothing to it. Try that next time you get pulled over who you're speeding while you're drunk. Sir, could you step out of the car? I smell alcohol. That has nothing to it. See you later. Get out of the car? I smell alcohol. Oh, there's nothing to it. See you later. Get out of the way. Anyhow, that's just fucking embarrassing.

While the White House spokespeople don't want to broach the subject, House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer, who's trying his best, but just another righty who can't fucking close, said Wednesday the FBI has confirmed the existence of a document alleging that Biden was involved in a criminal bribery scheme as vice president. The FBI has confirmed that. But FBI Director Christopher Wray, as crooked as anybody, thank you, Trump, for appointing him. I don't know who talked you into that, However, has so far refused to give that document

to congressional investigations despite subpoena. Okay? You're entitled to shit. Yeah, that's what he says to Comer. Okay? The FBI has a document showing that he's crooked and corrupt, Biden.

And Congress says, let's see the... And they're like, no. Well, we subpoenaed you. You have to. No. We're rewriting it. We'll get back to you. That's no fucking exaggeration.

Comey has repeatedly threatened to hold Ray in contempt, ooh, of Congress for not cooperating. But he has not made good on those threats. Well, there you go. There you go. Once again, working together, I don't know. God damn it. Hey, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about what happens when you light up on an airplane bathroom. Pretty goddamn. Well, actually, yeah, it's what you expected. And also, why Lizzo, my favorite musician of all time, ahead of Elton John and Elvis,

why she ripped everybody, even her fans on social media. I'm guessing it has to do with Cinnabons. That fuck. All right, kids. Oh, by the way, it's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdepalashow.com. Anyways, let's move on to Tranny. I know, folks, it's been three seconds. Can't help it. Today, there must have been 11 headlines about fucking, oh my God. I know it's an agenda. It's somebody's

agenda, but they're going, oh, we really got him with this trans thing. Look at them fighting. Look at, we got Christians involved. This is perfect. Tranny Trounce's girl. Oh, my fucking eyes. An Oklahoma teen girl was severely beaten by a trans student in a school bathroom. A trans student?

Why don't you say what it is? A trans, it's supposed to be female student, which actually is a man, a biological guy, in a school bathroom prompting, see how they slight, prompting the injured pupil's parents to file a lawsuit against the district, I love it, for not enforcing a state law that restricts restroom use for transgender people. They already passed that in Oklahoma. If you got a dick, go in the men's room. You got a snatch, come to my bedroom.

What? Cut. The lawsuit filed last Thursday by Teresa Gooden. That's right, Dwight Gooden's fucking niece. Coke head. Oh, I'm spilling shit. Theresa Gooden alleges that her 15-year-old daughter

identified as E.G. Okay, Ellen Goulding. That's why I went to school with Ellen Goulding. Was attacked and severely beaten in the girls' restroom at Edmond Memorial High School by a 17-year-old. Oh, thank you.

We mentioned it down here. Transgender woman on October 26th of 2020. Girls, if that ever happens, just fucking. What's the idea? Right in the balls. The head of the game. Get upstairs. Sit down. Sit down.

Sit down. I can't. I'm a man. The document which was obtained by the Post notes that the accused attacker was assigned male at birth and was used in a women's bathroom despite a state law signed in May 2022.

Again, because they know there'll be no repercussions, that requires public school students to use restrooms, get this, matching the sex on their birth certificates. Oh, my God. That's as bad as having to show an ID when you vote. This is suppression. Suppress my clit. What the fuck did that...

Cut it out. Why, you. That's the idea? You ever think about it, Moses? What's the idea? Like Larry said, I got an idea, Mo. The school district said in a statement in December, I love, I'm laughing about the students, in December that it did not know the student was assigned male at birth because they only started attending, they, oh, now

it's a they, oh, my aching stem, they only started attending, see, whoever's writing this article, you're playing the game, so, in other words, we know your bias. The fact that you're acquiescing to their fucking faggy demands shows you're not right. You're not trying to be, you know, an unbiased journalist, which is supposed to be neutral. At Edmund Memorial, days before the incident, Fox 25 reported, so it must be true. The lawsuit, however, accused Edmund Memorial, that's the school, not a guy, of allowing the trans student to continue using the women's bathroom, even after the victim, the girl E.G., told the assistant principal, Mariel Cochran, what is she, a little Filipino? Yummy, yummy. Filipino? Yummy, yummy. Excuse me. Mariel Cochran about their gender identity. So the girl who got beat up had already told these people that this is a guy. Didn't do anything about it. Why? Because they're chicks. Hey, any men running a school anymore? Any men doing anything? Okay. Superintendent Dr. Angela Grunwald, remember her from vacation?

Oh! Look at the fucking shoulders on this. Looks like fucking Aaron Judge. Angela Grunwald confirmed that the accused attacker was no longer enrolled in Edmond Memorial, and you had nothing to do with it, I bet. Grunwald also acknowledged that the state bathroom policy,, here's where the school's done in court. She admits, she works for this fucking school, that the state bathroom policy was violated. Yeah, so was the girl.

During the alleged fight and said that consequences were given for the violation. You ever seen a grown man naked? Yeah, but what were the consequences? Yeah, it doesn't mention it, does it? You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. You and I sitting down together, we're watching Sexy Beast and This Boy's Life, which is what that last sound clip is from.

De Niro as an abusive father and Boy Scout troop leader. Oh, my God, Dallas. It's De Niro's most underrated movie, I think. He's fucking beautiful. Leonardo DiCaprio as this kid. He twists his nipples. He smacks them. Oh, you're going to love it.

Right up your alley. I'm trying to tell Dallas that Porky's 2 wasn't that good a movie. I can't budge him. He says the direction was tremendous. I thought they were losing lighting all the time. It's a part of the charm. That's a part of the charm. Yeah, that boom mic.

Have you ever watched a fucking, have you ever watched a porn, you're like, look, that's the boom. No, it's a black guy's dick. Fucking, hey, I love it. Good porn is good entertainment. Is it not? Oh, sure it is, fellas.

I don't know if to go into this story or to tell the people. I'm caught in between. For those of you right now on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdapaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's show and a whole lot more. And while you're there, why don't you click on the tour button and see where I'll be performing. Like the Men Without Hats, a much better life. July 14th and 15th, Arlington Cinema and Draft House, Arlington, Virginia.

It's one of my favorite haunts. It's an old movie theater. I swear to God, I swear every time I go there, they just shot like a snuff film the weekend before. The floors are always bloody and sticky and fucking pubic hair all over the green room. I don't know what goes on there. delicious.

Dallas said delicious. I don't know if you heard that. Yeah, click on the tour button and come see me, man. Got a little break from the road right now. It feels good. I think I'll be heading back to Crowder in a few weeks to do some more of that. guitar solo Outro Music